Relationship Expert: Why Women Are Adopting Masculine Traits & Men Are Becoming Feminine | John Gray

one of the breakdowns in marriage today or relationships or even dating is that when a woman even will admit this and say it out loud why do I need a man I don't need a man I can make money I have plenty of money I got my own thing I got my friends I don't need a man so they're lost Dr John Gray Dr John Gray John Gray welcome back to the podcast so good to have you back on here author of Men Are from Mars Women Are from Venus with over 15 million copies sold

with a PhD in Psychology and 40 Years of relationship counseling he's transformed millions of lives when the passion and attraction goes away then little problems become bigger problems and it it could even look like they're having plenty of sex but the woman's really not enjoying it you know the man's always going to enjoy it because you can't have sex without the erection the greatest thing a woman can do for a man is to enjoy sex see if a woman enjoys sex it means you've been doing the things she needs to come back to her female

side there isn't more sex today more and more I see Reports most people are not having sex there's a small group of 10% of men who are getting sex they're over 6et tall they have a job and they've got a good story online they own a house and so that's what women are looking for they want a guy with a job a guy who's taller than them somewhat handsome it's not really a requirement especially when we have the conversation of men's mental health because men have suppressed their emotions they don't talk about it all no

no no no that's all nonsense that's all nonsense that's the that's the line men are suppressing their feelings men are talking too much about their feelings they're whining and complaining John Gray welcome back to the podcast so good to have you back on here thank thank you happy to be with you I'm so excited to have a chat last time we had a very in-depth uh conversation um on relationships all these sorts of things and I want to extend it and I want to dive into different types of um angles on it this way because

obviously you've been studying this topic for the past I think five decades um one the leading experts in the world when it comes to relationships so I want to start with this in in in a world right now that feels like I get a lot of convers I get a lot of questions of people that I work with and and a lot of them are sort of saying that dating is hard right now or like guys are different women are different all these sorts of things so I want to sort of have two conversations here

one on the difference of new age dating but for the people that are already in relationships I want to start with this for them to sort of get some information on what are the early signs that we need to look for of a relationship breaking down oh uh lack of sexual attraction is a really key factor uh when when the passion and attraction goes away uh then little problems become bigger problems uh that's one of the most clear symptoms for couples uh and it it could even look like they're having plenty of sex but the

woman's really not enjoying it uh you know the man's always going to enjoy because you can't have sex without the erection so so that that means uh but when when his erection is not there then that's also a warning sign um you know what we talk about when I talk about men and women I look at the values of both sides and what I know from my experience is that women need to feel very much loved not that men don't but women need to feel that they're priority that they're seen that they're heard they're not

ridiculed they're not minimized they're not neglected they're not ignored that they're this are some of the key things that women uh complain about they feel like he doesn't really care or he gets angry um even though you only get angry when you care but it's not a way to demonstrate caring caring is consideration of your feelings your sensitivities women need to feel understood that in a way that you're not just listening to her and then arguing back but you're hearing her point of view and men need all of that right but women need it more

and they need it more because when you demonstrate caring affection consideration understanding empathy uh taking on the side of someone uh respecting their needs and wishes when you when you do that it raises a hormone called estrogen in the body it's a mindset when somebody treats you that way your estrogen levels go up when you treat yourself that way also your estrogen levels go up so men aren't Tau T to do that we were never trained how to provide messages that would say to a woman that she is that priority and vice versa and the

reason we're not taught is in historical relationships that wasn't required you you basically showed that you cared by sharing your income with her by doing the Dirty Jobs the dangerous jobs the difficult jobs doing your best to make her happy and provide a lifestyle that would support her by making money but as soon as men make money and women make money the dynamic changes okay it sound like well she doesn't feel so important just because he's making money for her because she's also making money so there's an understanding that I have which is so we

have to uh find another way for to raise estrogen in a woman if a woman is hungry and a man feeds her her estrogen will go up estrogen goes up whenever you feel have a need and somebody's there for me I can depend on them they're reliable they're a support for me and when that estrogen is not being stimulated women will not feel the desire to have sex uh or enjoy sex it's ironic that there's a paradox to everything I say that many women in their 40s will complain to me and say you know my

husband doesn't want to have sex anymore and I want more sex well it's not like her body is wanting more sex her mind is telling her I want him to feel sexually attracted to me again it's not like she's really wanting sex it's she's wanting him to be sexual towards her because when a man has an erection he's interested her he's attracted to her that is a symbol that in her presence his test testosterone has gone up and testosterone is the hormone of well-being for men we need to make 10 to 20 times more in

a relationship and when a man has good healthy testosterone nothing bothers him the little problems here little problems there doesn't bother him and that is going to be evidenced by a good sexual relationship sex is so so important whether a man admits it or not most men will uh although it's not like people go oh you just care about sex no I don't just care about sex it's just an important part of my biology it's a sex Center and a man is twice as big a sexual arousal stimulates double his testosterone so of course we

need more testosterone that women otherwise were depressed and anxious and upset and uh so uh there's a real dynamic between men and women and it's changed so we need to have uh men need to have uh you said what are the warning signs that's I got off on this if a man is no longer attracted to and turned on to his wife she's not getting something she really needs uh which is attention affection warmth and you know if I'm sexually satisfied and I happen to be nothing upsets me okay you know you're kind of like

king of the world when that happens and so you're like uh you're the alpha but when a man stops having sex with his partner because she doesn't enjoy it uh or he could be having sex but she doesn't enjoy it his testosterone starts to go down his interest he may be addicted to sex still he may be wanting sex but it's because his testosterone's down and it's a way for him to Pump It Up like pornography is a way that a man can knock up his testosterone in eight minutes uh and that's the average time

men do porn it's eight minutes takes eight minutes to get online to find somebody to be to do the deed and never want to see her again uh it's such a what men don't realize is they lose their Spirit they're losing their connection with the Divine they they're it's a life draining Force which is why every spiritual tradition every spiritual tradition throughout time has taught men not that not to have sex with themselves they should be with a partner it's very interesting so so it's kind of like a downward spiral so so let's talk so

what about for the people so you say so one of the biggest things of of a a breakdown relationship is the lack of wanting to have sex the people that's a warning sign it's a warning sign and then what the symptoms of that are going to be she's going to be complaining more feeling neglected more he's going to be feeling unappreciated uh the words that men will say they're not going to say I'm not having sex although some do they'll say no matter what I do it's never enough to make her happy see this is

what men need is clear messages from a woman that I provide something of value and meaning to her happiness and a man gets the most evidence of that this is a biological response is when a woman's estrogen levels go up when she's feeling I can trust a man I can depend on him he's reliable I appreciate him he's my goto guy I'm lucky to be with him see those are all messages that raise testosterone in men and when when she's feeling those things you can see biologically her estrogen levels are going very very high so

literally there's a Silent Communication that goes on between men and women when a woman's estrogen goes High she puts out fairmon and we men have a little nose inside of this nose it's two little flaps up there and this only job is to smell those fairmon and turn on the arousal okay it's just a woman with high estrogen this is why men were typically attracted to Young women it's not that old older women are not attractive I mean my wife is amazing but it's because it's a deeper level but the attraction comes from the biological

difference see we have a biological polarity like two magnets a positive pole and a negative pole and if a woman is producing a lot of estrogen uh uh 20 times higher than a man's okay this is a lot of estrogen that's when they're romantically aroused but even if she's not romantically aroused if she's young certain times of the month she will be pumping those high levels of estrogen and that will sends a message to a man to get turned on to her to be interested in to be attracted to her it's not like he wants

to marry or anything it's just that the body becomes alive oh I got a job to do uh see he may not even be thinking it's just an a a a reaction and and they've done studies on men in universities and they find every men Every Minute Men are thinking about sex now you know they may not be aware of that that's what the study did is whenever you're thinking about sex like who's getting sex and oh that skirt it's a little short oh I like that body type oh who's driving that fancy car I

bet he's getting it but they were supposed to click and record every time it's like several times every minute was the average is that this is now as you get older it's going to be less because your testosterone levels are are lower or you're married what happens when you're married is you produce different hormones when you have sex you if you have sex with yourself or with porn or a prostitute or one night stand you have a certain hormonal reaction afterwards but if you have sex with your wife someone you love and you're committed to

your body makes different chemicals they measured this and one of those chemicals is called uh oh I forgot the name of it it'll pop up soon prolactin that chemical is called prolactin and what prolactin does is it builds up inside of you it it keeps you from wandering to other women see we are designed to men to find to keep making babies or keep looking for a woman until we get one and and that's the wandering eye you're looking and looking but if you find love and you actually have a loving sexual experience then it

will make in the man's body prolactin and that will cause disinterest in having sex with other people it will also cause disinterest in having sex with his partner unless unless they have a natural polarity unless he's more masculine than her and she's more feminine than than he is and what I mean by biologically I want to understand this more CU what I was wanting to sort of segue into was it seems like and and I'm not sure but like I haven't looked at any statistics or anything maybe you can talk on this but the amount

of people that might be cheating or being disinterested nowadays as compared to say 10 20 30 years ago I think would be higher and if I were to say why you look on social media I was literally watching things before on before we start this interview end of like you know back in the day we were you would find someone in your village and you had mate in your village but now it's like you have access to everyone on social media it's like the the options are Limitless you can get on any dating platform and

there's people everywhere you can post a picture and get strangers to like and comment and what sort of role does this play in this dynamic because you're saying like once this prolactin is is let go it makes us want to stay here so I'm really curious on this what what makes people what sort of thing what is this doing in our relationships having all of these options and cuz yeah can we can we dive into this yeah oh yes it's a big big subject I'm going to take one slice of that pie and another slice

as far as you want to go but historically women see women are The Gatekeepers you can't come into my body until you earn my trust you have to earn it see you had to and in more recent past it would look like a man has to uh get married you know I I'm 73 now but when I was a teenager I thought it was the stupidest thing because we I come into the world of teenager we had free love okay so I'm a teenager and I having sex I don't have to get married also I'm

demonstrating against the the draft I'm not going to go to the war you know this was me as a male having the freedom to go to my female side see the male side you got to get married you got to get first you gotta earn money you got to make enough to support a woman so all these requirements before you could have sex and I just thought it was so stupid but now I understand it see I as a teenager that the understanding is you know I said what does a piece of paper do well

the paper is just a symbol that you've committed yourself to this woman and that this woman feels I can get what I need enough from you so I could have a baby okay because see if a woman's gonna have a baby having sex is it's not just a a pleasurable thing it's an investment in the rest of your life you're going to have a you could have a child so there were consequences everything changed with birth control when suddenly there were no consequences then a woman felt more pressured to have sex with a man because

he wanted to have sex and if you said no to him and he thought that everybody was having sex then he would get his feelings hurt and leave you so and then there's the other women who are like just like me as a young teenager on my male side moving to my female side it felt so good to be more whole free to be all of me which is what the kids are feeling now today you know it's even gone to the you know we all have freedom we want freedom to be both masculine feminine

the problem is going to my female side I crashed okay it made me depressed and and for me I had to I had to learn how to come back to my male side and I did that and I learned how important it is and throughout my life I've been teaching men how to strengthen your masculine energy because anytime you're depressed or you have anxiety I used to have so much anxiety that was just anytime a man has anxiety he has he's too far on his female side as oppos to his male side the male side

when you're producing a lot of testosterone you have no anxiety you have no fear you have motivation you don't procrastinate you say I'm going to do it and you do it and if you don't have those qualities then you need to start setting goals and doing what you wrote down that you did that's one example of one of the ways to increase testosterone but what we have here now updating all of that all this choice you would think that there'd be more sex there isn't more sex today more and more I see reports I don't

know what's going on in everybody's life so I read as well the literature where they people do these big surveys and most people are not having sex okay and marriage they stopped having sex quite a bit and also for single people there's a there's a small group of 10% of men who are getting sex they already they're they're over six feet tall they have a job and they've got a good story online they own a house and so that's what women are looking for they want a guy with a job a guy who's taller than

them someone handsome it's not really a requirement and that he's got a job and he has some good story about him those 10% of men thing right what's that well that makes them feel safe absolutely security you know I been man you know if you've got a job already you're responsible you can I remember you know as a young guy when I was dating just bring my dog along if a woman sees a guy with a dog she the way he's taking care of his dog he must be pretty responsible because you know this is

an interesting topic right because cuz like I you do see quite a bit on social media these days with like with women being like I want a man 6 feet you know like and quite you know and and then on the on the male side people are feeling sometimes like less emasculated of like I need to be the provider and Etc and I'm like well it's not necessarily in my opinion I don't think women these days were going I want a man that can provide and all this stuff it's not for the money it's for

that exact reason it's like someone a guy who has his together a guy who has a good career a good business has his life in order it's not necessarily the the money that they're after is it's NE it's the well that's the the money you have is a byproduct of the thing I actually want which is someone who's certain decisive and is safe to be around yeah that's a nice way of the right track that that's a nice very nice way of putting it and uh but when a woman doesn't have money money becomes a

bigger Factor uh women can say what you're saying which is I don't care that much about money because they've got a job okay because women today have a job no woman in the past said money was was not important uh you can go to China indigenous cultures well I'll go more modern indigenous cultures China uh dating there is the the woman's parents are there they want to see your resume they want to know how much money you make it's about how much money you make go to India it's what's your job how much money do

you make I remember I was teaching at Stanford before I got kicked out uh because the students rebelled against me uh you know having You' see the the audience would be you get these girls who don't care about their looks at all and then you got the pretty girls that care about their looks they all love my stuff because they're all into relationship and so this is one girl she's saying no we're not that different I'm just like a guy and everything I said okay you could be like a guy but tell me you know

if you were to get married and if you were a man proposed to you and you were in love and you're G to get married you're gon to tell your parents uh oh I'm falling in love with this guy he's great what are your parents gonna say what's the first question they're going to ask what do you think it is Morgan hey what's he do for a living of course what he do for your daughter marrying some guy that's out of work come on it's a this is this is the history of humanity is that

men are the providers now what we're saying now is one of the breakdowns in marriage today or relationships or even dating is that when a woman and so many women even will admit this and say it out loud why do I need a man I don't need a man I can make money I have plenty of money I got my own thing I got my friends I don't need a man so they're lost they don't know what they need just like like when somebody gets sick they don't know what they need if you're getting the

flu all the time you're deficient in certain nutrients it's but they don't know that you have to learn to go to nutritionist person you have to you have to say hey what you need is some vitamin D you need some vitamin C you need some of this and you'll be healthy again but people don't know what they need if you're a single woman and you don't and you want to have a man in your life or you don't want a man in your life you don't know what you need so I'm from the general women

particularly if you're heterosexual but even so many gay gay women they they basically say men are jerks I don't trust them I don't want to be with them if they had a father when they were growing up they would love a man not 70% of children in America today 70% of of of homes of black children have no father in the home and almost 40 to 50% depending where where you are in the country more so in the liberal states the the red State now the the blue States the fathers aren't there at home uh

you so you grow up without a father in a home well you're not going to a positive opinion of men you've got a mother who can't trust a man doesn't appreciate a man what's a man good for what are they Ed for they have no idea they're in a blank State they don't know what they need or you're a woman you have a job you're independent you're making money why do I need a man because historically primarily men would provide money they provided security which is safety he's bigger than her he's stronger than her he

could protect her she could be pregnant and he would protect her he would provide for her see these are biological responses inside of a woman but when a woman uh when she's got a job now she's on her male side when you have a job and you're providing for yourself or you can provide for yourself what you're making is testosterone anytime you're independent you're I can do for myself look what I have to do for myself and particularly if I have to do for myself in the beginning it's oh I get to do for myself

and after a while with the women I've all talked to I have to do it I'm stuck in this situation so and this is a part of our economy has destroyed relationships there's so many factors in this whole thing the economy is such that it used to be my father could make $7,000 a year and he could my mother could raise seven children in a nice neighborhood middle class family it was all we didn't I never thought about money I didn't have a new bicycle my brother got my brother's bicycle what but everything was fine

there wasn't this fear of money everywhere and inflation happening everywhere but you know what happens as soon as woman has a job as soon as a woman has a job inflation occurs that's just the reality because now you've got double the amount of money that the income can have to the family well what inflation is is when there's more money in circulation prices go up so instead of sping you know when you when you buy a house you're G to buy the best house you can find based upon how much money you can make so

as soon as there's more money people are making more money double the money the value of houses doubles and it just continues that way and now you're stuck in an economy where a man can't provide enough for a woman and he can't you're General generally unless You' got some family money that came in whatever uh for most men that's the case and you just come back to looking at the frustration of so many options people are having less sex that's what you have to know here is you've got as a result you've got 10% of

the men who are having women say yes and then those men they have so many options that they're never going to settle on one so you've got a lot of men who are 45 years old who are handsome or have money and they've never made a commitment to love because they can't find the masculinity inside of them because it was so easy to get laid they didn't have to work hard at it now you got 90% of the men who are just feeling beaten up they're feeling they they hear oh oh the guys are having

sex why are they getting sex why not me and then there's a lot of resentment with some men oh women just want money and you're trying to cover that up by saying oh they just want security and I agree but no bottom line women are turned on when a man has a job proves he has money it's maybe you know her requirements for money is not as great because she can make money but then what happens if she can make money she doesn't need him to make as much money so why does she need him

well that's what I'm helping women to understand is it the more independent you are as a woman the harder it will ever be for you to get married or have a happy relationship unless you've learned new relationship skills that give you an awareness of what you need to come back to your female side and there's nothing more powerful than a man to help you go from your masculine side to your feminine side if you have relationship skills to motivate him to do the things that you need to feel more estrogen going up in your body

and nobody disagrees with me that women today are having huge problem with their hormones as well as men their testosterone levels go down 1% every year not every man I'm 73 years old mine are 50% higher than when I was a young man I'm having more sex than I've ever had you know my friends who are in their 70s they don't get erections when they wake up because they don't have the relationship skills and their wives don't have the relationship skills of how to make love the importance of sex the importance of communication the importance

of men being different from women it's polarity it's see in the beginning of a relationship Morgan just the new if there's some sexual attraction it's being fueled by a certain level of chemistry but the big part of the chemistry is the newness of the relationship new and sexual bodies and kissing and touching all that potential it raises a man's testosterone it doubles his testosterone just the newness because of the dopamine and for women dopamine if she feels safe women have a little more requirements but if she feels safe and it's a new relationship then her

estrogen levels will double so now you've got the polarity of he's more masculine she's more feminine and what's like two magnets coming together and as they get closer the closer they come it's like electricity that happens that you can have for a lifetime if you you you can't have the free attraction which you get with the dopamine dopamine will always go away in a marriage the free dopamine because the familiarity sets in you get to know each other routine sets in there's no newness so that you don't get the free Sur of testosterone but with

communication skills and mindset and lifestyle changes men can pump up their testosterone women can pump up their estrogen they can communicate in ways that will do that that maintains the polarity and I call those biohacks a hormonal biohacks which is what I stay what I do what I eat what I time I go to sleep all these things will either increase or decrease healthy hormone balance in a man or woman I want to I want to dive into this because yeah like I agree I think um like if I I grew up Dad worked remember

dad had like a 65,000 a year job or something family of uh six including mom you know and mom was at home she did all the stuff and and it worked and now um my partner is on a great income on her own I own multiple companies and I'm like there's no way we could ever like I'm making even a million dollars a year now is like not what it used to be and and so I understand there's a lot of females that are working now and they want to be entrepreneurs and there's this and

my partner specifically she's very ambitious so and she's very good at she works in sales and sometimes she can come home and be in sales most so I'm like baby go have a shower I'mma do dinner relax I get get into feminine so and she's very good at switching right depending on how the day was but for the women who are quite ambitious even like entrepreneurs because a lot of entrepreneurs listen to this podcast what can they be doing when they do come home when they switch off because to be on entrepreneur mode and to

grow there and be ambitious they've got to tap into that testosterone building as you're saying right so what can they do to sort of flow back into a feminine State and allow more natural estrogen to be you know pumped so they can get it back into a better polarity in their relationship can we start with that and I'd love to talk about what men can also do to grow some balls and grow some more testosterone as well and bring this Dynamic back you know that that's a very that's what I love doing is giving people

these bioh hacks ways that what you can do to help her go back to her female side her estrogen side find that balance and what men can what women can do for men okay so uh ultimately the greatest thing a woman can do for a man is to enjoy sex she just enjoys sex with you because see if a woman enjoys sex it means you've already been you've been doing the things she needs to come back to her female side if if you're not producing estrogen you can't enjoy sex if you're a woman uh for

men you just need testosterone and some estrogen for sure estrogen ironically if men have no estrogen then they can't get an erection but if they have no testosterone or low testosterone they can't get an erection you need to have both testosterone and estrogen for a man uh to get an erection in the presence of his partner due to some response she has okay so but your question is what are some of the biohacks for women uh first of all you making dinner for her that was a great biohack you also creating the space encouraging her

honey why don't you just go take a shower have some me time uh for yourself and then I'm G to make dinner for you anytime you do something for a woman that she could do for herself you will produce estrogen so let me just emphasize that one concept so then from Concepts you can see all types of activities different for one person or another but the concept is when a man does something for a woman and the past okay in the survival mode where women are dependent on men for survival any activity that a man

does for a woman that she can't do for herself uh will produce high estrogen okay if she's hungry she has no money you feed her she wants to have sex with you meaning she feels so grateful and so much love that she enjoys being with you her hormones are up so her body wants it okay so that's that's just reality that's tested out that's science when a woman's estrogen levels like before ovulation if she's still young enough to to not be stressed out at ovulation her estrogen levels will have doubled and three days before that

she'll start having her testosterone which is desire for sex One symptom of testosterone is desire for sex her desire for sex will increase as her estrogen levels go to these high levels but the difference between a woman and well what's unique about women is they don't have to wait to ovulation for their estrogen levels to go so high and an does a female animal can only have those high estrogen at the time of ovulation but you can take her on a romantic date 10 days before her ovulation and you can raise her estrogen up to

where she wants to have sex you can treat her with such respect and such support in the relationship uh where she could want to have sex every day practically I'm not saying that is a pressure as a goal I would never put that pressure on my wife we certainly don't have sex during her period time uh it's a time for her not to be thinking about all that and some women might want but generally in traditional cultures you don't have sex during that time and that's really good because it gives you time not to be

having sex if you are having a great sex life why not do it every day well you also need a break from it we need a break from everything you know part of healing the body is having a fasting occasionally all cultures have fasted occasionally at least fast for breakfast and dinner or something like that so uh the or skip one meal or maybe two meals uh you know there's different traditions on that but cleansing the body but you also relationship you need to have sex and not have sex and depending on the kind of

sex you can only have so much sex uh there's a here's a biohack which is when you don't have enough distance between having sex a woman's sexual potency takes time to rebuild a man's sexual potency takes time to rebuild fully up uh that's also part of that prolactin you know when you're a younger guy and you're having impersonal sex you're not mature enough to even know somebody when you're having sex with them uh your body doesn't make that hormone prolactin or if you're having sex with yourself your body doesn't make prolactin prolactin lowers your interest

in sex so but basically we have so much sexual stimulation today and a guy has sex with his wife on Saturday night then he has sex on Tuesday and he has sex on Saturday and that becomes the routine and over time becomes once a month and then becomes once every two months and this was happening in marriage and what I what I suggest is just some wisdom you might take from this one study I'm going to quote uh they they took a guy they took guys who had sex with their wives on Saturday and measure

their testosterone and when they're having sex testosterone goes up then after when men release uh ejaculation but people are uncomfortable with that phrase so I'll just say release so when a man releases his life force his testosterone will go down okay so it goes down now then if on Tuesday it has time to rebuild and it comes back up and he has sex and then after having sex it goes down his base testosterone goes down to Baseline and then on Saturday when he wakes up it's at Baseline but if he they have sex later it

will rise up now what happens if he has sex once a week if he has sex on Saturday night and abstains from release for Six Days on the seventh day his testosterone will be 50% higher that's a biohack so you can have sex during the week just don't release and that's another biohack which is learning perment learn how to Edge appropriately so you don't get blue balls but to make love with your partner and not every time release now having mastered this in my own life at 73 years old I never release occasionally I get

a little greedy uh but too much uh but ultimately if you don't release what happens is you never separate from the woman your energy stays together and that will keep her in the mood that keeps the sexual potency there the attraction is sustained literally all the time so you could have sex every day in your in your 70s this is what's possible the woman women's sexual potency and interest in sex has a lot to do with their estrogen when you're when you don't release her estrogen doesn't crash it stays high and your testosterone it does

crash a little bit but uh if you even if you H release if you go six days your potency will build up enough so now you have the the same kind of interest and attraction and patience that you had when you f first fell in love because the dopamine and the beginning of the relationship gives you that extra 50% dopamine goes away you don't have that 50% and women will say to me oh why can't he be like he was in the beginning well he doesn't have that 50% and that's so powerful so you it's

it's so if you have too much sex you lose your sexual potency and then it becomes an addiction sex becomes an addiction to sort of temporarily for eight minutes or three minutes get your potency feel your potency but it crashes and all of that multiplied times 10 if you're a guy and you've got a girlfriend or a wife and you're having sex with her on Saturday night and she's not interested in sex on Tuesday and you do it with yourself you just lost all your potency and your potency is what wakes up a woman's energy

your interest your liveness your testosterone levels that rise in her presence see that's a whole thing you could be working out in the gym your testosterone's going out but you're not having it go up in the presence of her but just having your wife you know you just your wife's talking to you you start feeling like oh can't wait to make love with her you know there'd be times I remember when I was young I'd be so surprised because I've learned how to listen to women without inter erupting that's another fix that's an estrogen stimulator

in a woman get her to talk more most guys wanted to talk less now get her to talk more without rushing her to a point don't interrupt her ask more questions oh tell me more about that what else help me understand that better I want to know more okay most guys are kind of like when are we gonna be done let's get to the point what do what do you need from me okay so instead gently encourage her to share more now the entrepreneur woman quite often unless she's really good at coming back to her

female side uh she she's kind like a guy she didn't want to talk about work so there's some women who are still enough in their female side that want to talk about work but some women they don't want to bring it up they're like a guy see it's healthy for you Morgan as a man to not talk about work when you get home and now we've been you know 30 years ago 40 years ago when I'm teaching this women were all complaining I say to my husband how's it how's your day is is fine good

nothing no you know how are you fine good we had nothing to say but now these feminized males which our culture has feminized men too much which is we're supposed to talk about our feelings and women are asking us you know they're talk he should talk about his feelings and you can't have love grow unless you talk about whatever's going on inside men don't need to do that women need to do that so psychology has completely become biased towards what do women need and little understanding of what men need I mean literally most of these

books that are written on relationships and psychology they're by psychologists and who who talks to psychologists women 90% of the people that go into counseling are women so of course he has a one-sided view for me I understood what masculinity was about simply because I grew up with five brothers I was a monk for for nine years all men around me so women were like from another planet and it took me a while to understand women and when men hear this stuff they go wow I didn't realize that you know sometimes we feel guilty uh

for not uh taking our space men need a lot of space and that's another Dynamic for more sex for it's distance they all saying distance makes the the what distance makes the heart grow stronger whatever it was fonder yeah yeah this is very this is this is so interesting um but yeah it cuz I this day and age especially in the personal development space and the men's space and I especially when we have the conversation of men's mental health because men have suppressed their emotions they don't talk about it all these no no no no

that's all nonsense that's all nonsense that's the that's the line men are suppressing their feelings men are talking too much about their feelings they're whining and complaining what's up dream Nation have you ever wondered how far had your life would have already been if you hadn't got access to this type of content at a younger age look this this is why I need your help I'm trying to build the number one personal development platform out there to teach you guys the tips tricks and attitude of what it takes to live your dream life and to

bring the type of education that we all wish we had in school this show only Grows by word of mouth and new subscribers so it would mean the world to me if you could smash that subscribe button right now leave us a five-star written review or drop a comment below and share this episode with a friend I would be forever grateful all right now let's let's get back into this episode they they're they're not helping a woman Express her feelings that's what we need to learn how to do is listen to women and make it

safe for women to express how they feel and your feelings are going to be fine it's the whole thing about not expressing feelings first of all a little boy up to 13 years old does need does need to express feelings just like a little girl we don't have testosterone then we had the same level of testosterone as a little girl in our childhood see there's so much gobbly goop out there so if a man has got strong emotions okay it's he had a traumatic first 12 years of his life it's his past we know that

in therapy that anything you're feeling now 90% of it is your childhood and you don't know that unless you've been in therapy whatever and you can talk about it for men to go in their feelings if something's really upsetting me I need to go back to the past when something upset me and go back further and go back further that's where it really coming from I mean so I'm a guy I like here when my wife died uh Bonnie of 32 years okay I grieved for two years okay I was quit working quit doing everything

I was depressed wanting to kill myself but at the same time knowing I wouldn't okay keep it in mind I'm very clear I have to go through the process and all those feelings come from deep deep attachment to her which is very similar to the attachment a baby has with its mother okay so so the childhood type feelings are going to be triggered and when it's a big loss of course men need to talk about their feelings because they're way on their female side but they need to analyze that's part of it you have to

analyze and problem solve why am I feeling this way and let me disprove the emotions let me challenge them this is called a form of therapy called rational emotional therapy which is where you challenge any negative emotion very very good for men so if you want to know why men are messed up it's not that they couldn't talk about their feelings when they were children they're messed up because their father did not treat their mother with respect and their mother did not fully appreciate their father that's where a mess up comes the messed up all

this stuff about talking about feelings that's for girls that's for women primarily for men there is when it comes up you do have to talk about it there's no question about it but you need to balance that first by feeling much better by building testosterone working hard using your muscles I I heard something very funny the other day which that was on some there there there's so much research now showing that when a man feels successful his testosterone goes up so obvious but you know when his football team wins his testosterone goes up when his

fball team lose his testosterone goes down and now they've done studies showing that when you when you have a man answering questions and they tell him he he he did the best score his testosterone goes up and then when you tell him he didn't do even if he did the best you tell him no you you lost his testosterone goes down it's the messages we get from our environment that say are you a success are you not a success now you could grow up as a little boy if your father didn't feel successful you'll absorb

those feelings of an adequacy inside and when when you're feeling like I I failed it will activate those feelings so if a man's going to talk about his feelings it needs to be his past not about what's going on now and what he should do is he needs to realize that men only feel bad when they're too far on their female side if you understand you can't have negative emotions if you're if you're on your male side and you have female emotions your estrogen if you have more testosterone than estrogen think about this more masculinity

and your female side is awake but not not too much then you'll have positive emotions confidence happiness enthusiasm if your estrogen becomes too high or your testosterone becomes too low and therefore your estrogen is too high then what happens is you procrastinate you don't follow through you get irritated you get annoyed by stuff uh you you get mad at your partner ironically see people think the opposite they all think oh angry men or aggressive men or high testosterone no when a man is aggressive or angry his estrogen levels are flaring and his testosterone's going down

there's something called aromat taste which causes his testosterone to convert into estrogen when he loses confidence you can see this clearly with the the guys in the gym that that take their testosterone and then their balls shrink and they can't make testosterone anymore but they can take they can take the pills and they can take the injections well if you take too much testosterone what's going to happen is it aromat taste kicks into gear and turns your testosterone into estrogens so you get a bit big you get breasts you get big belly and you also

have Road Rage that's all about me see so right in front of us people just don't see it this is so clear is it when men become feminized anything that's producing more estrogen and testosterone has a negative effect on men now let's not carry this to the N degree there's a I I'll be spending time my granddaughter one of my granddaughters is is just a year and a half and uh I'll spend like three hours playing with her she's only a year and a half there is so much love I mean you know babies they

just bring out they just radiate love and she has so much joy inside of her and she says you know she's so happy to see me and all that my heart swells right any grandfather knows this or any father knows this you love your little being here so love is estrogen so with all that love going in my body uh feeling all that love after I spent time with her I become exhausted okay I become totally exhausted because my testosterone I'm not doing stuff for her I'm just being with her it's more of a being

experience that's estrogen stimulation so become exhausted this conversation Morgan I could talk to you for I've already talked for seven hours today for example I never get tired talking about solving problems this is all in my mind I'm helping people solve problems so solving problems increases testosterone when a man feels I make a difference if he's confident if he has self-esteem testosterone goes up it's just an attitude it's a mindset but it's also I can have that mindset and sit in my room and do nothing and I'll be depressed I have to actually be helping

people what is the purpose of life for all the suicidal men out there go out and help somebody find somebody who needs your help and help them your mood will go away it's do something me rather than talk about how feeling I don't my life has no purpose I feel sad I feel no not good enough I okay all right a little bit of that fine now go do something go help somebody do something where somebody says thank you I'm so glad you're in my life that's why marriage is so so meaningful to men so

meaningful all these shallow relationships they just end it's everyone is just knocking you down after another after another meaningless sex it destroys a men's whole life force they age you know the number one heart cause of heart disease the biggest killer of men what is it no testosterone they don't tell you that because they don't have a cure for it you can't take testosterone and cure heart disease you have to make testosterone if you make testosterone you're healthy yeah what what happens in a relationship biochemically with hormones when it comes to initiating sex in your

opinion who should initiate sex to create the best hormone balance men or females well men you know my wife says I'm the most amazing husband in the world I probably am but I'm sure there's some of the really good ones out there only I'm only aming because I understand women I understand how it's not difficult to provide what women need most men have no idea what talking about here even when I say it you got to read my books and see all the bio hacks there's so many I just mentioned a couple now she says

but you're so generous you're so giving you're there for me I say honey you think you know I'm so so free I'm very very selfish I'm a very selfish person I know that if I want sex happy woman who wants to have sex with me just as much as I want to have sex with her I have to do certain things I have to do certain things I have to do certain things now men don't know what they have to do in the past my father knew what he had to do which is ignore my

wife and just go out and make money and come home and be the policeman spank the kids if they're misbehaving you know he he had a much different job I won't say it's an easier job because he had to go out and make money in the world and support his family all on his own and he did that and so when a man can do that like in your family your mother had all this love with the kids but she had a husband Who provided a circumstance so she could do that and so she was

always grateful in her heart because he was doing something for her that she couldn't have children and do for herself okay if she's gonna have children you can't go out there and make all that money so she was gratitude and that's what men need is a woman who is grateful and therefore if a man was interested she would be interested in having sex with her so the idea is to build a woman's hormones up so she wants sex as much as you so that's the ideal now the reality is men initiate sex and the reason

they initiate sex unless you unless you're me you don't have to because I mean you could say all right let's hop in bed you know we do it almost every night I mean it's fantastic because I keep her estrogen levels up now I'm an advanced student in all of this because I've learned how to never release if you never release your penis will go higher than it's ever gone before and it takes a while to go back down and it's always there any and so you have the power as a man of raising a woman's

estrogen levels and she has the power when she's feeling appreciation and whatever for a man it raises his testosterone up but when a woman's an entrepreneur so much of her life force is serving other people and not receiving back she's giving and giving and giving this is one of these again uh paradoxical kind of a statement women often associate I give and I give and I give and we know in all spiritual teachings oh it's not about receiving it's about giving no it's about receiving so that you can give if you don't know how to

receive you can't give now for men it's about giving in order to get you have to be a woman's love is the reward that you get when you self-sacrifice when you do things that you don't even like doing you don't even want to do but if you make her happy you want to do it so that's hard concept for the women listening so I want them to understand this we don't want to do anything we don't have to do this is a gene inside of men that women don't have it's actually we have the giving

Gene but it's been overridden by the Y chromosome we have 23 genes and they're Funk that women don't have and those 23 genes they override many of our female genes that's their function is to stop us becoming too feminine and that's this is our genes now our genes will do it but culture can also tell you not to be feminine or can tell you and knock it out completely our culture can tell you to be more feminine and then you can adjust to that what we want is a culture that teaches men how to be

masculine not to be feminine and what we have is this whole P you know all this stuff about making masculinity bad which is pushing down the masculine and that will only result in men becoming more feminine but when men are more feminine than masculine these are the symptoms they're easily angry they're irritable their lack of motivation they get passive they lose sexual interest they pornic they do the self make have sex with themselves you know all this addiction to porn all of this is men being on their female side now what is female side remember

independent is more your masculine side dependent is your female side now I'm dependent on you I'm on my female side right now we work we do things for people we're dependent on opportunities we're dependent on food we're dependent on sleep everybody's dependent suddenly the word dependence for women has become this evil awful word because it can be to dependent you don't want to be too dependent you want a balance between I'm independent and I'm dependent and and think of what happens whenever you're independent you're making male hormones whenever you're dependent you're making female hormones or

one of the major female hormones which is estrogen when you're doing what you like to do what you enjoy doing you're making progesterone as for women they have that at different times of the month they need to be making more estrogen at other times they need to be making more progesterone and so you know this is UND you know have a whole book on this by the way it's called Beyond Mars and Venus where I explain how women's hormone systems are how men's hormone systems are what you can do for yourself as a woman to

raise your estrogen levels up most importantly what you're doing to sabotage okay sabotage is something nobody well maybe some people consciously sabotage but it's unknowingly sabotaged and entrepreneural women since you brought that up they don't realize that unless they have that time to take her shower when she gets home and her husband who's helping her if they don't learn a lot of men don't do that Morgan and women have to learn how to ask if a husband isn't helping you how to ask for help you have the wisdom to be able to offer it but

I say even better is think about again this whole thing of what was romantic in the past when we're at a level of survival which means women were dependent on men for their survival to a great extent we're not in that place now women go out and get a job okay so everything changes in your psychology your needs change I don't need a man to make money what do I need a man for I need a man for a new kind of emotional support to feel loved to feel heard to feel seen to feel helped

but if you're on your mail site you don't feel like you need help I was just counseling a couple today and what was the big upset the big annoyance that he has with his partner is you know he'll be a little frustrated inside of he's got some stress going on trying to figure something out and then she'll offer advice you know have you thought about this and you think about this and you're going to do this it's completely annoying to him and and I said well how can he say don't give me advice when I'm

not asking for it without you feeling rejected and she's kind of like I don't know I don't know it'd be so rude for him to say I don't want to hear what you're saying well see if you need my help I'll listen to you but if you're giving me help that I'm not asking for it's insulting it's like stepping on my foot what am I supposed to say I can't say Hey you stepped on my foot move off but she's going to feel oh I'm just trying to help I want to give you advice and

really he doesn't want to help and he says very clearly if I want help I'll ask for it well then that means I can't talk no you can talk talk about whatever you want ask for my help share what's going on in your life have conversations with me but don't do it with the intent to try to help me you know because she would do that and and so many women do that I call the and Men Are from Mars I call it the Home Improvement committee where women will offer unsolicited advice to improve a

man let me help you let me help you and what women don't realize is Again by giving men help and the men who are like okay I don't want to reject you so I'll take your help then after a while she'll be angry at you because she feels I'm helping you too much she sets it up I give you a little example Morgan of you know I'm a s I'm a you know I was was a yogi I'm meditator I have a lot of self-awareness Not all men have that and so I spend my life

reflecting on anything that happens inside of me and studying it so this is my life's work so I marry Bonnie my wife of 32 years until she passed with cancer and I marry her and and we go out to the Opera Symphony and say she gonna wear something pretty and I put on a suit and a tie you know because I'm consideration she don't want me looking like a casual guy while she's dressed up women need you to like dress up if they want to dress up so so I'm all I get all dressed up

and she said oh that tie doesn't go with the shirt doesn't go with this at all let me let me let me fix find you a tie okay so we go in the closet and find the right tie this happens again oh that doesn't go with your outfit I'll pick out a tie and then she does it again she's gonna pick out a tie I found myself after the third time starting to pick my ties and I go oh I'll ask my wife and what do you think honey what do you think is a good

tie and this is what happens women start giving advice to men and you know all we want is our wives to be happy we don't want to say don't give me your advice you know and reject uh so we don't want to reject her so we allow her to do that and then we start becoming dependent on it because we don't want her we want her to have everything she wants but then she will start to resent after a while that I have to you're asking me all the time where to go what we're going

to do and he's only deflecting to her so another biohack here is something we men do all all the time see I got so many that I can't do it all we already covered an hour but it's uh like Friday night weekend time a time for some special time with the F with your partner right Friday or Saturday he'll wait till Friday night and he'll say hey honey what do you want to do tonight you know and he thinks he's being romantic because he's I'll do whatever you want that's not romantic romantic looks like a

week in advance having a conversation with her and saying hey let's do something nice next weekend what what do you think you'd like to do just ask her what would feel good to you and she'll say I don't know I don't know I said well maybe this or maybe that but often women will say again they sabotage themselves they say what do you want to do and I say oh I want to go see this new movie and she'll say okay then in her mind she's thinking I said yes to what he wants next time

he'll want to do what I want and then and then you have the conversation again it's like oh honey what do you want to do she says what do you want to do oh I want to go go to here and she'll say okay I guess I have to do more things for him before he wants to do things for me but I thought because I said I want to go do it and she said okay let's do that that I came up with the best idea what you have to know is women are not

good at asking for what they want even as entrepreneurs on their male side when they get in a relationship they're not good at it that and part partially because they feel like I shouldn't have to ask you should just know no and that's what women have to grow up and realize what an immature fantasy world they're living in and they're never going to get what they want and what I have discovered is once you get to the place where women are more independent therefore you're not in total dependence on a man now what is romantic

remember before that romance is when a man does for a woman what she can't do for herself now what romance is is when a man does for a woman what she can do for herself but she doesn't have to do because he will do it for her and even more importantly which brings it to even higher level of estrogen is a woman asking for help and a man responding right away with a happy happy to do that kind of like U your flying first class and they come to you anytime you want something just push

this button I'll be there for you you can have whatever you like I'm happy to serve you in any way you like be the be the uh positive person when a woman has a request because it hurts to ask and have somebody go oh I'll get to it later or oh I'm busy with this so I teach another hack is is that the five minute signal after a while you don't need the five minute signal but at least every day a woman should ask a man to do something for that he should do something for

her that she could do for herself in a f minute window so that could be would you make me a cup of tea it could be would you find the remote control would it could be would you find my phone would you get the oil and give me a foot massage and now do my right foot and now do my left foot she has to ask him to do stuff because it is the it it it's what uh it's called in Psychology a pattern interrupt when you're an entrepreneur you're spending all day what I have

to do what I have to do what I have to do what I have to do as opposed to what I get to do or what somebody can do for me so you have to interrupt that pattern every day for women in our culture today so in a relationship you say to your wife honey I just want you to know every day put your hand up we're going to practice you asking me to do some little thing for you and I'm gonna jump on it right away no matter what I'm doing I was be happy

to do it right now because there's something really uh exciting for women when she knows I can ask and get it right now so many men say I'll get to it because see we live in a world of priorities if it's a little thing it gets to the bottom list bottom of the list you know I'm I'm figuring out how to make money I got to finish this contract I got my emails I got to do I'll get to it later and and we don't have that motivation to do little things so you just do

this and you ask for something little and what's so interesting is when you give her immediate response it'd be like a I remember when one of the other bioh hacks I discovered is four hugs a day so four hugs a day very important for women whether they know it or not see a lot of this stuff women go I don't care about that if they're it's not that important to me it's because they're on their male side okay I I would have never given four hugs a day it's not that it wasn't that important to

me now it's very important because I know it's what's required to help my body my the B my wife's body to produce the hormone oxytocin a sixc nonsexual hug will produce a surge of oxytocin in her body which then allows her brain to reflect on the things that I've done for her that she appreciates and I it's see they need the hormonal support anytime you're being independent you're pumping up your testosterone your estrogen your progesterone it's not getting pumped up culture should be pumping that up now culture doesn't are we even in a culture where

women have said the only way I get respect instead of getting respect because I'm a wife I'm a homemaker I'm a mother I've raised these children I'm get I'm most important person okay that's respect who do you respect well Morgan as soon as you say you made a million dollars this year I respect you more I go oh Morgan can make a million dollars that's amazing wow what does he have to say I'll listen to what Morgan has to say because he can make a million dollars that's called respect we're in a culture where you

only respect people who can make a million dollars and yet when I look at the creeps that make a lot of millions of dollars are the so many jerks make a lot of money because they're Crooks they don't deserve my respect at all I would still give it to them my reaction when some had made a lot of money like oh okay what did you do but the reality is women have missed out on that respect that got lost a long time ago and that's part of why women went to their male side in order

to get respect because the biggest need that women have is messages and more more important than messages messages are one thing words are cheap if it's not followed up by action action that respects a woman and what would that action be you're making dinner for your wife that's a wonderful thing that's action that respects her says look she's tired from the day I've got some energy I'll do that for her I'm not saying all men should make dinner for their husbands you can find out what works for you I I never rarely made dinner for

my wife and family I Sunday morning I made eggs on toast that was my famous father thing my kids are now doing it with their kids it's very sweet the eggs on toast I had way my mother would do it for me and but if ever my wife was exhausted or tired I said honey if you do not want to cook dinner I will cook dinner just tell me you don't want to cook dinner and I'll go go get food I'll take us out to dinner I make money so if I don't like cooking I

can make money to cook but but at the same time there's something that happens for women when they see men doing things for them uh now in the past when you're in survival mode a man is doing things for others to make money to bring the money home for their wife the women would take it personally that he's working hard for me women no longer can take it personally as much because they're also working hard so it's kind of like so what I'm suppos be excited you made some money I made money too you know

I've going through a grind to do that so she has to find inside of her the part of her that's more sensitive more feminine and that's when men do little things for you lots of little things so I've got all these little hacks and but the best one is when she will ask for it that's the hand in the air honey would you do this and I just go sure I'll get up right away I'll put my TV on pause I'll get up and do that I'll stop whatever I'm doing even when I'm doing emails

or my work if once a day it's like she needs to interrupt me and not feel that oh I can't approach my husband if I was to need him what what about for the people who are single right so a lot of this was contextual for people that in relationships things they can do what about for the the single female who's ambitious who's going I just can't find the right man no men out there and they're in this sort of way and like how do I how do how can they you do this on their

own to get themselves back into a natural flow to maybe get in the vibration to attract someone who's high in testosterone it's very hard so sorry for the women today you you need to be making estrogen to attract the right guy and if you're not making enough estrogen you could be pursuing the wrong guys this is just what happens the when men that you're pursuing are almost always the wrong guys the good guys who approach you if you don't have a lot of estrogen they're going to seem boring to you these women and they're never

going to be good enough these women say look everywhere all the best men are taken no the best men are out there they're always there but you don't see them because your hormones are not being produced where you see that oh I like this kind of a guy because when your estrogen is you want you're attracted to a man who's not available that's it you're attracted to somebody you have to please see as a man I'm when I'm on my male side I'm attracted to a woman who needs my help okay that's it that's why

you're attracted to a woman she needs your help there's something she needs from you and you go I can provide it okay so that that's what raises your testosterone is something I provide so when a woman's producing more of her male side she's going to be a attracted to and pursue she'll pursue men who are not available to her that's just what it is it's not like a man who has anything to give her see if she's on her female side she's only attracted to men that can give me what I need but she doesn't

feel what she needs which her brain becomes hyper picky hyper judgmental hypercritical and the only man she's not going to be critical of is the man who's not available to her who basically wants to use her and now we're back to the whole dating scene with the 10% of women the 10% of men who are getting laid are these women who want that kind of man and they pursue that man and now they're bitter about men because those men do not want to make a commitment if you've got so many women saying yes yes yes

yes it's very hard to feel a real connection with a woman because you to feel connection for a man he needs to feel I earned it I made it happen I pursued and I did it there's a place I took action and I got what I wanted if you think about your life Morgan just when you told me you made a million dollars such a sense of Pride I can make a million dollars in a year oh my gosh that's just so amazing because you do it nobody gave it to you if you look at

some of the most dysfunctional people of men not so much with women this is a male thing a man who is out of work so he can't do anything to make money okay man out of work can't do anything to make make money he's going to have the worst behaviors that's it he's violent he's depressed his estrogen Remember Violence aggression only happens when a man is weak on his male side and his female side is too high so that's where the anger comes from and I don't want men to feel bad because they get their

angry we're all on our female side today our culture is De demasculate us uh the I heard I wouldn't to tell this funny thing I just recently heard uh they did one study showing that you know when a man is solving problems successfully as testosterone goes up 7% if he fails it goes down 7% just to see the fluctuations well if a man is chopping wood it goes up 20% so this is the the actual Act of Cho a wood uh it's more primitive it's man solving problem because you only chop wood to provide wood

for heat for the home and I'm I'm reminded of you know one of the times my wife and I we uh had a vacation home it was a ranch and it was new and it didn't have a lot of good heating double Paine glass and it was Winter it was cold and we were kind of arguing on the way up this is when we used to argue and not get along so well and uh we got there and the the little house was uh too too too cold and there was wood and we built a

fire and just sitting next to the fire because we were so cold we had nothing to argue about cuz see we suddenly went back into survival mode where I was providing and making the fire and she was feeling the fire and also you're out in the woods women are going to feel more vulnerable you know this is amazing stuff to bring out the masculine side so women who think there's not enough men can't be are attracted to the wrong men the unavailable men it's because you don't trust that I deserve the right man and deep

down inside you're not aware of that unless you're in therapy but that's what's behind it is when you feel I deserve you're actually able to see the men who can give you what you need otherwise they seem very boring to you so what do you do start dating don't pursue men at all only date The Men Who you're not turned on to you're not excited by you're not like feeling it's so important to get this guy but you have a guy who's really interested in you who's kind of boring and you practice new relationship skills

he's only boring because you're boring because you're not in touch with your feminine side which is happy and joyful and fulfilled your brain is too critical critical critical and I know many of my clients they're such lovely people subu lovely women people Pleasers delightful but inside they're hypercritical of their husbands okay just hypercritical of men and you go How could somebody be so bubbly and positive because inside it's just a cover up it's a people pleaser because I don't trust that people will be there for me so this is learning how to come back to

your female side getting a man to start doing these hacks for you which I expl in my books and and my dating book I explain and that's a whole another hour Morgan if you really want to go into dating but to Simply put I wanted to give a simple answer you have to learn how to come back to your female side so one hack when you're on your female side and you're dating is don't look for the perfect person don't look to find a mate don't don't don't pursue instead take what you can get because

somebody's more interested in you than you're interested in them that's the first step go on dates with them don't have sex with them just go on dates with them and practice being feminine okay because the whole the reason you're single is because you're in your male side so what does it mean to be feminine it's very hard if you have a if you have a challenge being on your female side you definitely don't want to be in a relationship with a guy for a while who you want to be with because now you're trying to

impress them and you want to make sure they like you and that c causes you to go to your mail side because you're already on your mail side you stay stuck there so find somebody who wants to please you more than than you care about pleasing them that's a two ask for what you want never go on a date that he wants to do say this is three things I'd like to do and for married couples I say to my wife what do you want to do I'm not gonna ever do that I'm gonna say

a week in advance if I want to be romantic we let's plan something next week women love when you plan things give them a chance to prepare for it get ready for it think about it their estrogen levels go up as they're thinking about it and give me three things and I'll pick because that's also you need to pick the date because then she doesn't feel the pressure that you're going to like it or not like it so give me three things you like to do and I'll do that because the date is me providing

something for you that you could provide for yourself but you don't have to do it so typically what dates are is you go to a restaurant for example well she can cook for herself but she doesn't have to cook for herself somebody else is going to do it uh you go to a hotel room well hotel room somebody else cleaned the sheets somebody's going to clean up afterwards you didn't have to anything to do with this you can don't worry about anything it's just all done for you things that you could do for yourself but

you don't have to because you're staying at this hotel so this is what romance is about but you don't have to go to hotels always and go out to eat always every day you can create these hormones by doing things for her that she could do for herself but she has to ask for it that's the big that's the big estrogen that's her part of it she has to be the one who asks you can't just expect a man to be a mind reader whatever you it's a two-way street romance so when she is opening

up asking for what she wants he delivers when he delivers your request boom he bonds with you more so another we'll do one more biix when it comes to dating you date not to find your partner but you find you create a series of dates and your goal is to feel good and have a man do things for you so you definitely would never pay for the meal you would ask him let let pick from places you'd like to go don't let him pick it's always going to be you sharing what your wishes and needs

are and he will fulfill it and you'll get no resistance from him and clearly just because he wants to have sex don't have sex with him and if you want to have sex with him and he hasn't even dated you for where long then you're not in touch with your female side the female side always wants to be seen and heard and feel safe and get to know somebody and then the energy comes from the head to the heart down to the genitals if it's starts at the genitals you're in fantasy land you're imagining you're

not in reality women need reality and a lot of women if I not turned on to him he must be wrong no get to know a guy and sometimes it just happens sometimes it doesn't and you move on so create a series of positive dates without the goal of deciding whether he's the one for you in the same way if you were to buy a house and you if you were to come to my house you'd say oh it's a beautiful house everything you to do tours of my house now I'm just used to it

but it's a beautiful home but if you wanted to buy my home you'd hire somebody you'd hire somebody to look at everything that's wrong with the house that's what happens when you're dating to look for the perfect person for you your brain goes into a mode of only looking at what's wrong rather than what's good so take the pressure off of him and off of you be with somebody who you don't have to impress somebody who's trying to impress you and know that you obno obligation to marry him to have sex with him to stay

anywhere he's he gets the the joy of providing something to a woman who's happy with him and that's how sometimes women feel I want to pay for the meal because I can't and sometimes they I don't want to be obligated to have sex with him I say you're not obligated to have sex just because a guy spends money on you the fact that you appreciate the money is why men need women is women who can appreciate what a man can do for her so if a woman has less money she easily can love her husand

husband more if he has more money if she has more money she doesn't get that benefit but she can become aware that she needs more help coming back to her female side because generally for women who make money they're not tending to their female side in much and a man can certainly help provide that for you but you have to learn how to educate him and ask John this has been amazing there is so much in this and clearly like you've put this all into your book so where can everybody find you on social media

and check out all of your collection of books you've got a new one you're writing as well so where can they find everything you do uh well don't think about the new one a lot of what I've just said as well is in my book beyond Mars and Venus it's at Amazon Beyond Mars and Venus uh let's say that um the best course I would recommend for women and if they're in relationship with a man he could take this course with her is understanding men it's at my website it's a six- week program that women

can take and if they have a partner or someone they're dating it's fun to do it together but it's primarily helping women to understand men how to communicate with men how to interpret men correctly how to bring out the best in men what to do when men pull away at the dating stages and in the marriage situation it applies to everybody Wonderful class that's at marsvenus.com when you go to the website just going there you get a free class which you get that right away on the front page I also I you know can only

teach so much in an hour but the there's a big part of nutrition that goes along with having the right hormone balance you know it is very physical hormones Behavior triggers hormones but also certain minerals will trigger hormones and so there's a a mineral product they have with with a lot of adaptogens things like ashwagandha and saffron and bopa that are known to lower stress levels because whenever your stress levels go back down your hormones are starting to go back into balance so just the biology of these harm of these ingredients uh will lower your

stress but then there's something called erratic acid orates and these orates go into the brain and they help the DNA to correct itself because once you've been on your male side for a long time or a man who's on his female side for a long time the DNA adjusts itself it makes arrows and that becomes your automatic go-to kind of like a habit so to break that habit you need to have the DNA self-correct itself and most recent research is showing atic acid actually goes into the DNA and helps the DNA to correct itself based

upon new behaviors doesn't do much if you don't change your behaviors right so it's not a drug that just affects you but you change your behaviors it becomes new habit much faster becomes easier to do becomes your go-to place and that product is called Elemental orates so you can read about that there at marsvenus.com marsvenus.com nutritional support there you've got to and I used to have a whole health food store at my website of 40 different products I recommended a lot of people teach it now I don't need to teach it there's so many good

people out there but nobody teaches this one and so I keep that one because it's not on anybody's list and it's the most powerful substance to help balance the brain chemistry and balance the hormones that I've seen over ever since I created a Wellness Center over 30 years ago 25 years ago so that's available at the website free classes available and then class secrets of great sex always a good talk a class to take with your boyfriend once you start having sex really good because you can talk about it a lot of times people don't

talk that much about it but it's it's entertaining it's fun it's laughter uh I can do it in a very fun playful way and then we have a few other classes for people how to bring out the best in your partner that's all at marsvenus.com and if you're ever wondering as a woman how do I get my boyfriend or my husband clearly Morgan you're into this stuff but not all men are because they think they're going to somebody's going to tell them they should be different and criticize them because most of these books do not

all uh is have him watched just I I saw a really funny talk on YouTube and it's my TED Talk uh on Mars brain Venus brain John Gray Mars brain Venus brain and when a man hears me talk he realizes oh this is not a threat to me at all this is stuff to help me make sense of my wife and helps her to make sense of him and with that we have a foundation for a lifetime of love and I appreciate you having me here today Morgan fun to talk to you you thank you

so much for coming on again John you're an absolute Legend so um oh and final question to wrap this up I would have asked you last time so let's hope you've forgotten we'll see what comes out this time if you were to go back to your 18-year-old self and give him 30 seconds of advice what would it be you know it hasn't changed don't masturbate it was that was the exact answer last it's no question it's not one question I'm sure it took away at least five or 10 years of my life I plan on

living a long healthy life and it's known that if you don't masturbate you'll live longer but the what you can do is wish I had my father teach me this or my mother could even have taught me this is that you know when you're young your testosterone levels are so high and you don't have a balance with your estrogen so you get these erections uncontrollable re erections so you want to train your erections to not be dependent on ejaculation in order to go down and you can do that it's called it's a it's a Chinese

technique they used to teach they still do in China with you get an erection instead of ever going up and down on it you just look at a clock and you stroke up on the top on the on the top part of it not the bottom part up and down it's just an upward movement upward movement like that and that will gradually calm your penis down and it will become soft again and you want to look at the clock when you're doing it and say let's see if I can keep it up for 10 minutes

and then you just keep stroking it up without any fan fantasy if you use fantasy with your penis you're going to learn you'll be become a pre premature ejaculator okay and and you want to be able to have lasting passion and you want vitality and you want to be having great sex in your 70s and 80s which I hope I will have I I am having uh and this is all about don't waste your your life force energy you have vibrancy you'll have more U Carisma you'll have more power you know it comes from that

and you know most guys understand that afterwards you don't feel good and and the problem here is that our culture says oh guys you don't feel good after doing it because everybody tells you it's bad for you you shouldn't do that no you instinctively feel shame and feeling bad when you do something that's not good for you your body tells you it's not good it's not healthy to do that it's just an addiction so and you it's the most important one to get rid of I still have a little bit addiction to sugar it's only

little and I have no problem with that but this the the penis one boy I would just never go there uh that that's such a a blessing but once you start going up and down you get addicted to it just like if you take cocaine you'll you'll be addicted to it it's a massive dopamine stimulator anyway that's what I would wish I had known when I was 18 or 14 14 is when I would like to heard it