Why It Sucks to Be Born as a Giant Anaconda

you slip into life from the comfort of your mother's body born live into the dense warm humid air of the Amazon your Mom leaves you the moment she pushes you out not seeing the difference between giving birth and pooping you and your siblings scatter in all directions and the jungle doesn't care that you're new here he was a great sibling anyway at the moment you're only a couple of feet long and honestly kind of cute Jaguars came in and even large birds would find a meal like you irr resistible but you know how to disappear

in the river you blend in with the brown murky current slipping unnoticed beneath the surface it feels almost fun but playing in the water makes you hungry so it's time to get serious your senses though still developing are already sharp enough to pick up movement in the water you notice a small fish starting by A Perfect Target you freeze letting the current carry you getting closer and closer your jaws clamp down with shocking speed and your first kill is yours it's a tiny Victory but a victory nonetheless the first of many you want to grow

fast out here survival is all about getting big strong and sneaky speaking of sneaky have you noticed your skin yet look at that a beautifully patterned mix of green and brown Nature's perfect camouflage whether you're slinking through the murky water or blending into the dense underbrush no one can see you coming you're practically invisible that's your first real advantage in this wild place it's not much now but it'll come in handy once you're ready to hunt something a little more challenging for now though you stick to the basics you spend your days slithering through the

rivers and swamps mostly keeping to the water where you feel safe your eyes and nostrils stay just above the surface as you gently slide through waiting for an unsuspecting snack to wander a little too close as you rest just below the surface you spot a tasty Target a small rodent foolish enough to venture right up to the water's edge you wait patiently and then you strike with lightning speed wrapping your coils around it squeezing tight until it's over dinner served H not bad you've entered the juvenile phase of your life and things are starting to

get interesting you're bigger now faster and stronger and your prey well you've moved up in the world small frogs and fish just don't cut it anymore now you've got your eyes on something more substantial like cppy bars yeah the world's largest rodents on your menu now that was close but don't get cocky just yet you're still not the biggest predator out here they're Jaguars kimens and other anacondas that would love to make a meal out of you if they get the chance got to stay sharp and use your camouflage to your advantage oh wait it's

a kimman basking on the river bank it's not huge probably a juvenile like you but it's still a risky move you think about it for a moment weighing your options should you go for it could be your first big test as a hunter why not you slink into the water sliding gently toward the kimman with the grace of a shadow your muscles coil ready to strike and it wasn't as tough as I thought that's your first taste of success as a true Predator but let's not get ahead of ourselves not every day is a win

there are days when your prey outsmarts you like that one time you tried to take down a cppy bar but ended up being dragged halfway across the river before it managed to escape yeah that wasn't your finest moment but don't worry no one saw that the good news is you're still growing and with every meal you get a little bigger a little stronger and a little wiser by the time you're fully into your juvenile phase the jungle doesn't feel quite as intimidating anymore sure there are still big predators out there but you're climbing the food

chain and fast as the months Roll by you become more and more comfortable in your environment you've perfected the art of hiding in plain sight waiting for hours maybe days or weeks huh finally a group of Cy bar is grazing near the water's edge you sink slowly beneath the surface your eyes barely visible as you approach you wait your muscle tense and then what where did this jerk pop up from do you think you'd mind if you asked for just a small bite to CB your [Music] hunger oh maybe that's not such a good idea

let's get out here you continue to refine your skills learning more about your environment and your place in it you've mastered the art of stealth using your pattern skin to blend seamlessly into the jungle around you you've developed a keen sense of smell allowing you to track prey even through the thickest underbrush and your body pure muscle at this point you're no longer just a juvenile Anaconda you're approaching adulthood you've reached a size that commands respect or at least some healthy fear from most of the creatures in this territory at over 15 ft long and

still growing you're a true force to be reckoned with no more smalltime snacks for you you've graduated to bigger prey and by bigger we're talking deer wild pigs and even the occasional kimman that dares to cross your path as you grow the jungle becomes more crowded and you need a place to call your own it's time to search for a territory a safe space where you can hunt rest and hunt you Slither through the dense jungle exploring every corner crossing rivers climbing over Fallen logs and navigating the thick underbrush you need to find a secluded

area somewhere near water with plenty of prey but far from other predators after days of searching you find the perfect spot a quiet stretch of river hidden beneath a canopy of trees the perfect territory you mark the area with your scent claiming it as your own this is where you'll live out the next chapter of your life and speaking of the next chapter it's time for something new mating it's not just about Survival anymore now it's about passing on your jeans as Mating Season arrives you begin to pick up the scent of a potential mate

nearby you follow the trail slithering through the thick jungle and dense swamp till you find another Anaconda the female what a beauty the courtship begins it's a slow winding dance as the two of you coil around each other for hours you move together in a mesmerizing spiral until finally the deed is done the female will carry out your legacy several months later as a female you find a secluded area to give birth you don't lay eggs like many other snakes instead you give birth to live young between 20 to 40 baby anacondas will enter the

world much like you did years ago but your job's done done you leave never to see The Offspring knowing that most of them won't survive their first year honestly there's no real difference between giving birth and pooping for an anaconda in both cases you're just pushing something out and leaving it behind anyway let's get back to some fun now as you grow older and bigger your body starts to feel the wear and tear of years spent hunting and surviving you're still strong there's no doubt about that but you're not as fast as you once were

the youthful energy that once fueled your every Hunt is starting to fade and you find yourself needing to be a little more strategic with your moves as you lie submerged in the Cool Waters of a river you send something moving nearby it's capy bar casually grazing at the water's edge normally you wouldn't bother with something as small as a Cy bar anymore but today you're feeling a little nostalgic after all it's been a while since you last took one down and there's something satisfying about going back to where it all started you wait watching your

body completely still beneath the water surface the capibara inches closer oblivious to the danger lurking just beneath its feet and then in a Flash you strike your coils wrap around the cppy bar in an instant and within moments it's over you've still got it but as you swallow your meal you can't help but notice that it's not quite as satisfying as it used to be sure the thrill of the Hunt is still there but something's changed you've grown not just physically but mentally one day as you stalk a young deer near the water's edge you

sense that something's different your muscles coil ready to strike but just as you lunge something goes wrong the deer senses you at the last second and B bols you try to chase but your body doesn't move as quickly as it used to you Miss the deer escapes it's the first failed hunt in a long time but something feels different this time you feel the exhaustion deep in your muscles the weight of the years finally catching up with you you Slither back to the water but you know that it won't get easier from here in reality

most anacondas don't die in battle they simply grow too slow and too tired eventually the jungle takes them back