YOUR EX May NOT Care Now BUT They WILL CARE LATER (Be Ready for THE Keith Lee Effect)

what's going on YouTube Welcome Back to the channel I'm coach black your internet relationship and breakup coach today's topic your ex does not care about the breakup right now but they will later see if you are feeling extremely anxious about your ex right it's like the more you think about them the more it hurts because the worst part of a break up a lot of times it's not just losing someone that you're deeply in love with that that's hard enough all right it's seeing someone who was once the most loving affectionate and caring person about

you seeing someone who promised to you that that they will never say this or they would never do that that they would never hurt you someone who you shared some of the most intimate parts of of yourself and not just in the physical right like in most cases you've probably told them things that you've never shared with anyone else so the hardest part about breakups a lot of times is to see that person change completely all right it's almost like you're dealing with a completely different person and you start to question was anything they said

or anything they did actually real is the version of them that I got in the relationship is that the truth or is it what I'm experiencing now the more cold distant and dismissive version and a lot of times because of all these things it's easy for you to be extremely fearful and you start to feel like your ex will never come back and and maybe they even told you that maybe they said there's no chance and I will never ever come back what I need you to understand is that those are words let me explain

see in most cases your ex is never 100% certain about the breakup they might be 60% certain they might even be 85% certain but there's still a little bit of doubt that's natural that's human nature and let me explain why see as human beings we are wired to look for certainty okay because certainty means that we are safe right so being able to predict with some level of of precision what is going to happen right so for example if I touch a hot stove I know a 100 times out of a 100 I will get

burned I also know that okay if I drink water right I'm going to be hydrated and obviously I shouldn't drink bleach right this is how we are evolved we we go into things we go into environments we learn about the situation or the environment to figure out what the pattern is and once we have a pattern right some level of okay being able to predict then we have certainty and we feel safe and so just for the mere fact that your ex is leaving the relationship ship right going out into the outside world trying to

find a new partner even if they told you that they're not subconsciously a part of them knows that at some point in the future they have to find someone else so for the mere fact that they're leaving the relationship and being thrust into something new there is always a little bit of Doubt always whether it's 10% or 15% and it is that doubt that is going to work in your favor okay and this is the important part that you have to understand see what is the doubt about unfortunately currently the doubt is not about you

right the doubt is currently about is the grass actually Greener will I actually find someone better now when your ex gets to a point like I said they're above that 50% threshold they think that they will and that's why they leave they they believe that I'm going to find someone better but like I've said in my videos before there's a complete difference between knowing something like knowing something for sure and believing it right and so the reality is currently your ex is unsure about the future but you know who your ex is sure about they're

certain about you they are certain about your feelings they are certain that you love them they are certain that you are obsessed with them because a lot of times you probably told them this see I've had so many clients who have shared the messages where you know because you're you're feeling so much fear and hurt and anxiety and understandably so by the way because everything was just taken from you unexpectedly you didn't know that they were going to break up with you and so you bargain you try to fight for the relationship and so you

send them paragraph after paragraph on how you're going to change and maybe you've even cried in front of them and begged and so all of those words give your ex a lot of certainty they just know that H if things don't don't work out I can always come back now you might say oh coach I I actually didn't beg I didn't chase I I accepted the breakup first that is rare most people beg but a lot of times it's also how you behaved while you were together maybe they didn't treat you the best towards the

end maybe you had certain boundaries that you allowed them to violate things that you said were important to you that you allowed them to get away with and a lot of times it's the very fact that you allowed these things to happen while you were together that still G gives your ex that level of certainty all right so let's look at the two pieces your ex is uncertain about the future about the grass being Greener but they are certain about you and if you want your ex to care more later those Dynamics have to switch

right now what does that mean your ex needs to become less and less certain about you about your feelings about if you care about them or not and the simplest way to start that as you know is no contact it's very important because it will take some time by the way let me say if your ex has a a an opinion about you which they do uh if they have a belief about how you feel about them based on the actions you had around the breakup and during uh the relationship it will take them some

time time it's not just 30 days you know sometimes it's quicker but sometimes it's longer they need to see consistently that you're able to stay away you're able to stand your ground all right so it is that level of you sticking to not to to no contact and not breaking that's what actually injects the doubt into your ex's mind which is necessary it's necessary so they become less certain about you but here's the other piece all right you want your ex to become more certain that the grass is not greener now some of this happens

naturally see because in reality true love right a real compatibility right really knowing each other and having that intimate deep connection like you once had with your ex it is difficult to find it's it's not an easy thing to replace now I'm not telling you that your ex will not try because they will but think about for example some of your best friends right like maybe you only have one or two because it's not easy to find someone who just gets you right someone that you can spend hours with and it only feels like minutes

right so the same thing happens when your ex goes out into the world and you know maybe starts trying to date or text people and they realize and even having conversations it's never the same this is why dating is very difficult most people in this day and age do not enjoy dating and so the more time this is why you need to be in no contact whether it's 30 days 60 days however long it takes but the more time that your ex spends away from you they are learning that the grass is not greener right

and also what you need to be doing to inject that you know perception and really that knowing that you are a high value person that can never be replaced is you continue to work on yourself you continue to improve you continue to get better and so now your ex is hearing from other people oh I just talked to so and so yesterday she's doing great oh he's doing amazing he's he's lost 10 pounds he looks great all right and so now your ex in their mind is comparing everyone that they're talking to or trying to

get to know and they're like maybe I had the best person this whole time maybe no one else can love me the same way as you once did that's what they're going to be thinking in their mind and so now your ex has gotten to a place where they can no longer predict the future right and that does not feel safe this is just human nature right so they start to try to get back that level of certainty about how you feel about them and until that Dynamic switches which it does take some time some

cases it's going to be shorter some cases it's going to be a little bit longer but you must be in no contact you must be working on yourself it's the most important thing so they start to get curious and Bam you get the first message I want to tell you this as you prepare because it will happen for most people if you do know contact properly for most people you will get some reach out from your ex but I want to leave you with this in closing so and by the way if you're enjoying the

video please do me a favor hit the like button subscribe to the channel so you don't miss any of the future videos that I put out also also hit the bell all right we're going to be going live at least once a month uh but probably twice and so to make sure YouTube notifies you when we're going live hit that Bell so you don't miss and in the lives you know you get to ask questions about your breakup and we can talk about it but anyway let me leave you with this so the other day

I was watching uh a content creator on YouTube and he was talking about a situation with Keith Lee now if you don't know who Keith Lee is he's a um a food blogger and what he does what he tries to do he's a very huge uh social media platform but he's just a genuine kind person and so what he does is he goes to Mom and Pop type restaurants tries the food and he reviews them but what happens is if he enjoys the food and he shares that with his following which at this point he

probably has 20 30 million people across all platforms because he's such a kind genuine person and he's trying to help struggling businesses who just don't have the budget or the marketing when when he gives a positive review literally it's a lifechanging experience for that business owner and so there was a situation in Dallas where um he went to a specific restaurant they had been calling and texting like come check us out posting on social media really trying to get him out there and so he eventually went out and he tried the food and he enjoyed

it all right he enjoyed it and it was great and and so because of this he also left the business owner a huge tip I think it was4 or $5,000 he left for her he says hey you know here's this money I wanted to just leave you with this blessing be sure to also share it with you know some of these people who are working with you in the business okay trust me this this is a very important and Powerful story and so what ends up happening right he posts the video it goes right viral

people are excited to go check out this small business in restaurant but pretty soon after right before the momentum really started kicking in less than 24 hours um it becomes public that that business owner did not share the tip with the rest of the people that were working with her she opted to keep it to herself and naturally right since ke's platform is all about building people up and helping each other it's almost like you know all of us as just normal everyday people are coming together to support each other and so because of this

you know she was met with a lot of backlash and the whole thing backfired and I believe at the end of the day she had to close the business down soon after the reason why I tell this story and it's very important for you to think about this when it comes to your ex and doing no contact because the dynamic will change like I explained earlier see this lady called and called and sought after this opportunity for Keith to come visit and again business owners would pay tens of thousands for an opportunity for Keith to

just visit and she got this opportunity for free she just asked and just like that in the blink of an eye she lost a huge opportunity for whatever reason again this this is not about judging her but she lost this huge opportunity that could have meant you know Lo loyal customers into the future probably tens maybe hundreds of thousands in Revenue she lost all of this because of $5,000 I want you to know this do not call do not ask for an opportunity with your ex unless you're ready for it all right that's that's the

that's the one thing I want you to take away do not ask for an opportunity and this is really what no contact does is as you're staying away as you're working on yourself you definitely should not pick up the phone and call but doing no contact in of itself is going to give you a very good probability that you will get a chance to fix things if that is what you want so what's important for you is to be prepared to actually try to detach a little bit to work on yourself to actually build yourself

up start loving on yourself again spending time with the with the people the friends and family that care about you that have supported you through this whole time because that is going to give you the strength to handle your ex when they start texting you right watch more of the videos right where I talk about the different scenarios the first date so that you are better prepared so when the dynamic shifts when the opportunity shows up if you still want to fix it you are ready to do the right things uh so that the relationship

can be salvaged okay anyway if you enjoyed this video do me a favor hit the like button subscribe to the channel and if you want to talk to me about your situation click the first link in description and we can talk about it I really look forward to working with you I'll catch you in the next video peace