I Wish Someone Had Told Me THIS When I Was LEARNING ENGLISH

learning English can be challenging it can even be a lonely process sometimes so in this episode I want to share with you some things that I wish someone had told me back when I was a beginner English learner and when I was studying English more seriously my hope is that this episode will give you the inspiration the motivation necessary for you to keep going with your studies and to keep improving and developing as an English learner and speaker hey everybody how's it going Chiago here and welcome to another episode of the podcast in case you're

new here I have created this podcast and YouTube channel to help inmediate and advanced Learners of English communicate with more confidence more accuracy more clarity and more awareness so this sounds like something you want for yourself and your English subscribe to the channel here on YouTube and follow the show on Spotify and apple podcasts so I don't miss a single new episode registrations for my conversation Club are officially open classes begin next month in August 2024 and they run until November 2024 okay if you are interested in learning more about how you can participate in

my conversation Club the link is here in the description of the video also has a pin comment below if you are listening on Spotify or apple podcasts just look for the link in the show notes of this episode and if you're looking to improve your pronunciation considerably check out my pronunciation course which is available on pre-sale this is a course I've created to help you learn the main sounds of the English language and also the main connected speech patterns that native speakers use in media and in real life so the course is available now at

a very special price to learn more about the course link is also in the description of the video also as a pinned comment below and in the show notes on Spotify and apple podcasts all right so let me start by sharing with you how the idea for this episode came about I was reflecting on my journey as an English learner and then I remember that especially at the beginning of my journey it was quite lonely for me and I'm talking about between 15 years old and 19 years old you know those first years when I

was learning English intentionally deliberately they were quite lonely for me because I didn't have anybody around me in my Social Circle in my family Circle to encourage me to motivate me you know my parents they kind of they understood what I was doing and they thought it was nice but you know since they didn't know English themselves it's not like they could give me some advice you know on how to best learn this language so I had to find the motivation Within Myself to keep going and to keep learning and then I thought you know

what I think it's going to be really cool to record an episode for the podcast sharing with my audience some things that I wish someone had told me in those early years okay uh someone who was more experienced than me and someone who had already learned English successfully as a second language so this episode is almost like the older Chiago the Chiago from today going back and talking to the younger chag you know the 18-year-old Chagu and giving some advice on how to B learn English and maybe what things to focus on the most okay

so I hope that you find this episode useful and let's get started so the first thing that I wish someone had told me back then when I was starting out as an English learner is enjoy the process oh that's great you are learning English you've started learning English awesome so here's my piece of advice enjoy the process why because it takes time time learning a new language such as English takes time I don't believe it's a short-term process I believe it's a midterm to long-term process it's going to take you a few years at least

to get to a decent level of fluency so you have to enjoy the process set a goal and forget about it so yes it is important to set a goal for yourself for example I want to be a fluent English speaker I want to communicate well well in social situations and also in professional settings or I want to go for the Cambridge C1 exam I want to take the task and I want to pass with a good score all right this is a goal that you have okay or I want to be able to understand

my favorite movies and TV series without the subtitles or without depending on the subtitles all right I want to be able to speak English as well as I'm able to understand Ed you see these are all goals they are great it's important that you set a clear goal for yourself and for your English but once you set that goal forget about it forget about it because then you have to focus on the actual actions you need to take to get there to get to that goal we also call them the systems okay Define the goal

but after the goal is defined think about worry about the systems the habits the actions that you're going to put into place to make that goal a reality okay and I think that this is where many people fail because they get so obsessed with the end goal I want to be fluent I want to speak English well right I want to understand everything or most things they got so obsessed are involved with the end goal that they forget to enjoy the process all right and it is a long process again midterm to long-term process I

actually got here a couple of nice quotes from James Clear in case you don't know James Clear is the author of the The Bass saling book Atomic habits great book by the way it's a book about how to build good habits in your life and how to get rid of bad habits in your life it is a Beller um really interesting book I really recommend you pick it up and I got here two quotes from the book that the author James Clear uh says so let me read the first one for you when you fall

in love with the process rather than the product you don't have to wait to give herself permission to be happy you can be satisfied anytime your sister Sy is running and a system can be successful in many different forms not just the one you first envisioned so this is a quote highlighting the importance of falling in love with the process not the product the product here could be the end goal so bringing that to English learning you are not constantly thinking about how can I be fluent in English I want to be fluent no you

are in love with the the learning process with you know open up opening up a book and studying doing some grammar exercises for a few minutes listening to a podcast in English with your eyes closed and practicing your listening skills learning on your word and taking notes and trying to come up with different ways to use that word making a list of nice vocabulary you want to remember these are just some examples where you see the process the actions these are the things you should be focusing on we're worried about okay not the end goal

all right and here's the second quote from this book The implicit assumption behind any goal is this once I reach my goal then I'll be happy the problem with a goal's first mentality is that you're continually putting happiness off until the next Milestone we have some nice words here first of all to put happiness off this is a phrasal verb when you put something off you postpone it okay you postpone it you leave it for later you put it off all right and you put happiness off until the next Milestone a milestone is a significant

achievement in any journey in any process all right think of English learning what could be considered a milestone something examples of Milestones well maybe if you are a beginner having your first five minute conversation in English with a native speaker yes I got that you see that's a milestone what's the next Milestone maybe passing a job interview in English got that that's a milestone what's next going for the Cambridge 21 exam and passing Milestone you see these are Milestones the significant achievements in a person person's Journey okay but you see the point here is we

shouldn't have this mentality of I'm only going to be happy with my English when I reach my goal when I am fluent for example I'm only going to be happy with myself when I become fluent in English this is too elusive you know and you are putting off satisfaction you are putting off r laying happiness or feeling good about yourself because you you feel like you haven't reached a certain goal yet okay this is what we call a goal's first mentality so avoid that avoid having a goal's first mentality have a systems first mentality remember

set the goal for your English and then after that focus on the systems focus on the things you actually need to do to achieve AI that goal and let me wrap up this point with this paragraph listen when you focus too much on the outcome it seems that it takes longer to arrive if you focus on enjoying the process the outcome or the the end result the end goal will arrive sooner than you were expecting you know a great example I can give you guys to illustrate this is investing money you know we all know

about the importance of investing money right setting aside a percentage every month to invest but if you obsessed with the end result if you are looking at your portfolio week after week after week it feels like that big amount of money that you're looking for is never going to arrive it's never going to come because you see you are too focused on the end goal I want to have millions in my bank account invested and you are forgetting the process now now if you focus on the system on the process of feeling happy already with

the fact that every month you are already setting aside some money and investing wisely if you get happy with that then before you know it you will get to that large amount of money that you want to have invested this is one example to illustrate that all right so focus on the systems on the actions you need to take to achieve your goals have a systems first mentality not a go of first mentality so this is the first thing that the older Chago the more experienced Chago would tell the younger the more inexperienced Chiago back

in the day about English learning enjoying the process now something else that I wish someone had told me back then was this listen native speakers don't care about your mistakes as much as you do native speakers don't care about your mistakes as much as you do sometimes we can get so uh preoccupied with mistakes that we we freeze up we get paralyzed and we don't want to speak to people because we are afraid of making mistakes we are afraid of looking stupid but guys mistakes are part of the learning process you learn by making mistakes

all right so you should focus on expressing yourself even with the mistakes and even if you express yourself at first in a simple way maybe using simple words simple sentences but it's okay you are expressing yourself you are communicating all right focus on that not on the mistakes the mistakes are part of the learning process all right and something else I will say is if you're likable as a person and proactive you will be able to handle many situations in English even though your level of English is not so advanced yet you see so maybe

instead of worrying about the number of mistakes you make worry about becoming a more likable person you know a likable person is a person that has Charisma is a person that other people like being around you know because if you are a likable person and if you are proactive in many situations in your life where you're going to have to use English you're going to be able to get by to manage even if your level of English is not so advanced yet or even if you have limited vocabulary because if you're are likable it's much

easier for people to feel like helping you for example if you are proactive it's much easier for you to ask if you don't understand the word to ask someone to repeat something or to rephrase something right so you see this is more about developing your soft skills as a person when it comes to communication Charisma talking to people then learning the language itself so remember that native speakers don't care about your mistakes as much as you do obviously this is not a free pass for you to make all the mistakes you want and not care

about your level of accuracy you should care care about how accurate you sound but more important than that when it comes to communicating with people and connecting with people is becoming a more likable person and a more proactive person if you develop these things within yourself it's going to be much easier for you to handle situations that work that involve English manage people manage situations okay connected to that the next thing that I wish someone had told me back then was develop your charisma increase your level of Charisma be likable you know uh it's true

I believe that is true that some people are naturally more charismatic than others they seem to to have the natural spark right everybody loves being around them but guys Charisma is a set of beh behaviors and since this is a set of behaviors it can be learned you can learn to be more charismatic you can learn to be more likable as a person okay so here are some things here that you should be thinking about when it comes to increasing your level of Charisma first of all show confidence exude confidence there are many uh ways

to achieve this but this is one point show confidence all right be attentive of those around you be aware of your surroundings where are you is it a more formal situation a more informal situation do you know the people there who's there all right how do people sound when they speak how do they behave be aware of your surroundings so that you can act accordingly all right this is actually a challenge nowadays I think because you know whenever we are in a room with people in real life most people are using their phones they have

their phones like this you know this is bad because you are not really looking around and being aware of the room you are in okay so be attentive of those around you radiate warmth one way to do that is smiling smile more all right and I don't mean that fake exaggerated smile like hey you know like that but smile and have that facial expression of friendliness of openness I've already talked about this in the past episode here okay but radiate warmth not coldness okay be passionate as a person and being passionate is mostly about being

positive okay I mean who would you rather talk to or be with a person who is negative all the time who is always complaining always whining about stuff things are never good enough or a person who is positive who is uplifting who is actually excited about whatever they are doing of course the second person right this is another way to build your charisma by being a more passionate a more positive type of person and being positive also translates to the way you talk to the way you speak you don't talk in that cold way like

this right now this is more of cold type of communication no you're talking in a warmer way you see you raise your tone of voice a little bit nothing exaggerated but you sound positive you sound excited about whatever it is you're doing okay this is charismatic this is attractive to people all right and another way to build up your charisma is of course believe in yourself believe more in yourself in your abilities in your skills don't beat yourself up you know I have met people like that in my life people who love to beat themselves

up you know like oh I'm not good enough oh I suck oh I'm so stupid oh I'm some I'm so dumb don't do that to yourself I mean I mean the world is already harsh as it is all right why would you want to beat yourself up even more all right so believe in yourself in your abilities in your skills okay and this is not about not being afraid or not being scared you know but it's about acting despite fear it's about doing what you're supposed to do even if inside you are a little bit

insecure you are a little bit afraid okay imagine you have to go to that job interview in English you have two options yeah you can let fear paralyze you and then you don't go right or you can go despite feeling afraid all right that's it so courage is not necessarily the absence of fear but it's the courage to act despite fear so that's something else I wish someone had told me back then yes keep learning the language studying the language right but also build uper Charisma be more likable as a person that alone will automatically

open doors for you something else I wish someone had told me back then was become good at asking questions become good at asking people questions first of all people love to talk about themselves so even if your level of English is not so high yet even if your vocabulary is limited even if you feel like you don't have a super advanced level of English yet you can still hold conversations with people successfully if you become good or better at asking questions all right because again people love to talk about themselves so let the other person

do most of the talking how by asking good questions good quality questions and sounding interested and then you connect that with the proactivity whenever you hear something that you don't understand you ask the person to clarify it for you okay what is an example of a good quality question a question that encourages the person to share significant things about themselves so for example instead of asking where are you from why not ask what do you like most about your country you see that's a more interesting question it opens the opportunity for the person to share

more interesting things with you okay and guys becoming good at asking questions in English is even beneficial from a grammar standpoint you know I have been teaching English for many years and one thing that my students always struggle with is asking questions you know we learn the structures we learn the verb tenses present perfect present perfect continuous simple past whatever students usually deal very well with affirmative sentences and negative sentences but when it's time to formulate questions It's Tricky for them they struggle more because you have to you know reverse the order of the words

you know the auxiliary comes first and so it is a common struggle so even from a grammar standpoint focusing on asking questions in English is going to help you two okay another thing that I wish someone had told me when I was learning English as a beginner was develop the four skills as equally as possible what are the four skills in English learning reading writing speaking and listening so don't neglect any of these all of them are important all of them are important okay a lot of emphasis nowadays is put on speaking and listening obviously

but guys if you want to Be an Effective Communicator in English all the four skills are essential so don't neglect them all right and I have met all kinds of students in my life I have met students who had good reading and writing skills you know they read texts no problem they understood everything they could even interpret the underlying meaning of the text they were good writers as well but they had bad speaking and listening skills this is not good on the other hand I've also met students who were very good at listening and speaking

they had good listening skills they could talk but when was when it was time for them to read something they couldn't understand a paragraph like the the central idea of a paragraph or even worse when they had to write something my goodness so their writing skills were so distant so far from their speaking skills for example all right so this is not good either we have two kinds of skills right we have the receptive skills and the productive skills the receptive skills are reading and listening okay this is about consuming information reading or listening the

productive skills are the skills that require you to actually produce the language so writing and speaking this is you producing language via written form or spoken form all these are important so focus on developing your receptive skills reading and listening but also focus on develop veloping your productive skills writing and speaking of course in your journey there will be times when you're going to have to prioritize some skills more than others but ultimately in order to be a well-rounded speaker of English you want to dedicate time to all of them to developing all four skills

okay as equally as possible Again Naturally you will be maybe uh more talented or more skilled and one or two skills than the other two okay but it doesn't mean that you cannot improve the weaker skills okay and finally I want to wrap this episode by sharing the last thing that I wish someone had told me when I decided more than 20 years ago that I was going to learn English I wish someone had told me this you're going to learn English child that's great you know what learning English is one of the best things

you can do in your life I wish someone had told me that with those words you know when I was 18 19 you know yes learning English is one of the best things or one of the best Endeavors you can have or you can do in your life why let me give you some quick Reasons by knowing English well you will be better able to connect with anyone in the world to talk to anyone in the world okay guys I have a student Dimitri dimetri hey man if you are watching this or listening to this

shout out to you I have a student Demitri he is from Ukraine you know he doesn't speak my language he doesn't speak Portuguese and I don't speak his language I don't speak Ukrainian you know but we are able to connect and have nice conversations through through English we were even discussing that in a class recently I thought it was amazing the fact that the only reason why we are able to talk and connect with each other week after week is because of English isn't that crazy right so learning English well will make you able to

connect with anyone in the world geography won't be a problem for you to make new friends to get to know uh new people or other people you know you're going to get to enjoy great movies TV series and books in their original language as they were intended I think that people who do translation you know professional translators they do a wonderful job but guys reading a book that was originally written in English it's a whole other experience than reading a translative version or watching a movie fully in English that was filmed that way it was

written and produced and shot that way is totally different as an experience than watching that movie dubbed in your native language the the actress's performance the intensity totally different all right by learning English well you're going to get to enjoy your favorite music on a deeper level meaning that not only are you going to be able to listen to the music and enjoy it but also enjoy it on a deeper level because you can understand what your favorite artist or band or singer is singing about what the main message of the songs is all right

obviously learning English and learning it well will open opportunities in your life more work opportunities study opportunities even love opportunities you might actually through English meet a partner you know that speaks English you know maybe you haven't found anybody in your native country yeah to date or to marry you know but through English you can find someone from another country right obviously English allows you more access or gives you more access to Quality information especially considering the fact that more than half of the content we find online on the internet nowadays is in English so

by not knowing English you are doomed to just consuming information and content in your native language so you might never have access to a plethora of quality information because they don't know English right but you see that's another reason why learning English is one of the best things you can do in your life the information that you're going to have access to and finally learning English is one of the best things you can do in your life because it changes you for the better it changes you as a person guys I can attach to this

and I'm sure that if you talk to other people who have also learned English successfully as their second language they will say the same thing like man I am a different person simply because I speak English as a second language I know for a fact that if I didn't know English if I only spoke my mother language my mother tongue Portuguese I would be a very very different person in every aspect you know then I am today because of English right so that's it guys so let me just recap here here quickly recap the things

that I wish someone had told me back when I was learning English more seriously the first one enjoy the process enjoy the process set the goal but then forget about the goal and focus on the actions the systems you actually need to implement to get to that goal native speakers don't care about your mistakes as much as you do so embrace them become a more likable person by building your charisma all right focus on being more charismatic more likable and you're going to be able to communicate more successfully in any situation even with a limited

level of English become good at asking questions people love to talk about themselves become a master of asking good quality questions develop the first skills as equally as possible reading writing listening speaking and finally remember that learning English is one of the best Endeavors or the best things you can have or do in your life guys that's all I have for today's episode I hope you enjoyed this episode I hope you found it motivational and inspirational I hope it helped you don't forget to check out my conversation club which starts in August next month to

learn more the links are all here in the description of the video on YouTube and also in the show notes and also don't forget to check out my pronunciation course available on pre-sale you can buy this course now with a very special discount and learn more about English pronunciation and connected speech I'm Chago I'm signing off thank you so much for listening until now and I'll be talking to you very soon in the upcoming episode bye-bye