Biden Faces Mounting Criticism As The Taliban Takes Control Of Afghanistan

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The Late Show with Stephen Colbert

President Biden addressed the nation Monday afternoon to outline new goals for America's military mission in Afghanistan, as dramatic scenes of the Taliban's takeover of Kabul prompted harsh criticism of the president's withdrawal plan. #Colbert #Comedy #Monologue Subscribe To "The Late Show" Channel: http://bit.ly/ColbertYouTube Watch full episodes of "The Late Show": http://bit.ly/1Puei40 Like "The Late Show" on Facebook: http://on.fb.me/1df139Y Follow "The Late Show" on Twitter: http://bit.ly/1dMzZzG Follow "The Late Show" on Instagram: http://bit.ly/29wfREj Watch The Late Show with Stephen Colbert weeknights at 11:35 PM ET/10:35 PM CT. Only on CBS. --- The Late Show with Stephen Colbert is the premier late night talk show on CBS, airing at 11:35pm EST, streaming online via Paramount , and delivered to the International Space Station on a USB drive taped to a weather balloon. Every night, viewers can expect: Comedy, humor, funny moments, witty interviews, celebrities, famous people, movie stars, bits, humorous celebrities doing bits, funny celebs, big group photos of every star from Hollywood, even the reclusive ones, plus also jokes.

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>> Stephen: WELCOME TO "THE LATE SHOW," I'M STEPHEN COLBERT. (APPLAUSE) YOU KNOW, FOLKS EVERY NIGHT I COME OUT HERE AND DO A MONOLOGUE. THIS IS ONE OF THOSE NIGHTS. LET'S RIP THE BANDAID OFF. THE TALIBAN HAVE TAKEN OVER AFGHANISTAN. THE U.S. HAS BEEN THERE FOR 20 YEARS, WE SPENT 2 TRILLION DOLLARS, WE TRAINED A 300,000 STRONG AFGHAN ARMY, AND THE TALIBAN TOOK IT OVER IN 10 DAYS. THE COUNTRY IS IN COMPLETE CHAOS. YESTERDAY, THE STREETS OF KABUL WERE JAMMED WITH CARS TRYING TO GET OUT OF THE CITY, PEOPLE FLOODED THE AIRPORTS TRYING TO GET A PLANE OUT OF THE COUNTRY, AND HERE'S A MILITARY HELICOPTER EVACUATING FROM KABUL, WHICH HAS BEEN COMPARED TO THIS PHOTO OF THE EMBASSY AT SIAGON BEING EVACUATED AND OF THE HELICOPTER EVACUATING FROM KABUL: NOT A FLATTERING COMPARISON. YOU NEVER WANT TO SEE THIS REVIEW: THE FOOD WAS EXCELLENT AND THE LINE UP TO THE SALAD BAR WAS LIKE THE FALL OF SAIGON. 4 STARS. BUT THAT COMPARISON WAS REJECTED BY SECRETARY OF STATE AND MAN WHO LOOKS LIKE HE'S WATCHING CNN RIGHT NOW, ANTONY BLINKEN. BLINKEN WEAKLY SAID THIS, ON THIS WEEK: >> THIS IS MANIFESTLY NOT SAIGON. >> Stephen: TRUE. IN SAIGON, THEY SPEAK VIETNAMESE. NOW, CONTRARY TO EVERYTHING THEY'VE EVER DONE OR SAID, THE TALIBAN HAVE PROMISED THAT THIS TIME THEY'RE GOING TO RESPECT WOMEN'S RIGHTS, BUT THE CRACK DOWN HAS ALREADY STARTED. AT A BANK IN KANDAHAR, ARMED TALIBAN GUNMEN FORCED WOMEN WORKING THERE TO LEAVE THE BANK, AND TOLD THEM MALE RELATIVES COULD TAKE THEIR PLACE. THAT'S AWFUL. ALSO, NOT GOOD HIRING PRACTICE. (AS DOCTOR) MR WILSON, UNFORTUNATELY, AS A WOMAN, I CANNOT PERFORM YOUR OPEN-HEART SURGERY TODAY. BUT YOU WILL BE IN GREAT HANDS WITH MY COUSIN DYLAN. HE'S NOT A DOCTOR, BUT HE DOES HAVE A PENIS. HE'S NOT A DOCTOR, BUT HE DOES HAVE A PENIS. (APPLAUSE) BECAUSE HE'S THE PRESIDENT, PRESIDENT BIDEN'S GETTING A LOT OF CRITICISM. HERE'S ABC'S MARTHA RADDATZ: >> YOU ALSO HAD A REALLY MASSIVE INTELLIGENCE FAILURE HERE THAT THE U.S. DID NOT REALIZE HOW QUICKLY THE TALIBAN COULD TAKE OVER. >> MASSIVE INTELLIGENCE FAILURE. >> Stephen: IT'S GOTTA STING WHEN PEOPLE DESCRIBE YOUR FOREIGN POLICY THE SAME WAY THEY'D DESCRIBE RON DeSANTIS. THE WHITE HOUSE TRIED TO GET AHEAD OF THE BAD PRESS BY RELEASING THIS PHOTO OF BIDEN IN A VIRTUAL MEETING WITH TOP SECURITY OFFICIALS. BUT ALL PEOPLE COULD TALK ABOUT WAS THE FACT THAT THE CLOCK HAS THE WRONG TIMES FOR LONDON AND MOSCOW SPARKING CONSPIRACY THAT THE PIC WAS STAGED. COME ON, PEOPLE. LET'S NOT NITPICK. THE ONLY CLOCK THAT MATTERS IS THE ONE IN AFGHANISTAN, AND IT'S JUST BEEN RESET TO THE THIRTEENTH CENTURY. PLUS, IF IT WAS STAGED, WOULD THEY HAVE PUT HIM COMPLETELY ALONE AT THE CONFERENCE TABLE? APPARENTLY THERE'S ALSO BEEN A RAPID WITHDRAWAL FROM JOE BIDEN. HE LOOKS LIKE THE ONLY GRANDPA IN THE DAYROOM WATCHING JEOPARDY. CAN WE GET A CLOSER LOOK AT WHO HE'S TALKING TO? OKAY THERE'S KAMALA HARRIS, THE CIA, AND, J.F.K.? MAKES SENSE. IF YOU NEED ADVICE ON HANDLING A COMPLETE AIRPORT MELTDOWN, LOOK NO FURTHER THAN J.F.K.. THE CINNABON IN TERMINAL 2? LIKE THE FALL OF SAIGON. IT'S HARD TO ARGUE THAT THE WHITE HOUSE DIDN'T SHANK THE WITHDRAWAL. TAKE A LOOK AT BIDEN FROM JULY 8TH. >> THE LIKELIHOOD THERE'S GOING TO BE THE TALIBAN OVERRUNNING EVERYTHING AND OWNING THE WHOLE COUNTRY IS HIGHLY UNLIKELY. >> Stephen: WOW. THAT'S THE MOST INACCURATE PREDICTION FROM A PRESIDENT SINCE ABE LINCOLN SAID, "SEE YOU AFTER THE PLAY." (LAUGHTER). >> Stephen: TOO SOON? TOO SOON? >> Jon: TOO SOON, TOO SOON. >> Stephen: IT SOON REPUBLICANS WERE QUICK TO POINT THE FINGER. INCLUDING THE FORMER PRESIDENT WHO CALLED ON BIDEN TO 'RESIGN IN DISGRACE' OVER AFGHANISTAN. PRETTY WEIRD TO BLAME BIDEN FOR WITHDRAWING TROOPS, WHEN THIS SUMMER, HE WAS CLAIMING CREDIT FOR IT: >> I STARTED THE PROCESS, ALL THE TROOPS ARE COMING BACK HOME, THEY COULDN'T STOP THE PROCESS. 21 YEARS IS ENOUGH. DON'T WE THINK? THEY COULDN'T STOP THE PROCESS, THEY WANTED TO, BUT IT WAS VERY TOUGH TO STOP THE PROCESS. >> Stephen: YES, THEY WANTED TO, BUT THEY COULDN'T STOP THE PROCESS. ALSO, HOW HE DESCRIBES THE BIRTH OF ERIC. DAD IT'S YOUR LITTLE QUAGMIRE IT'S TOO LATE TO WITHDRAW FROM ME. THE FORMER PRESIDENT IS RIGHT ABOUT ONE THING. HIS POLICIES ARE EQUALLY RESPONSIBLE FOR THE TALIBAN'S TAKEOVER. AFTER ALL, HE REDUCED OUR TROOP PRESENCE FROM 15,000 TO 2,500. THE CEASEFIRE HE NEGOTIATED WAS WITH THE TALIBAN. HE DIDN'T EVEN INCLUDE THE AFGHAN GOVERNMENT. THEN, HE WENT BACK AND CONVINCED THE AFGHAN GOVERNMENT TO RELEASE 5,000 TALIBAN PRISONERS, MANY OF WHOM ARE CURRENTLY FIGHTING IN KABUL, WHILE ALSO AGREEING TO PULL ALL TROOPS BY MAY 1. SO YOU CAN'T PUT ALL THE BLAME FOR A DEBACLE YOU HELPED SET THE STAGE FOR. THAT'S LIKE ANDREW LLOYD WEBBER CALLING CATS A TERRIBLE MOVIE. YOU WROTE A MUSICAL WITH NO PLOT HOW DID YOU THINK THIS WAS GOING TO END? THIS AFTERNOON, IN THE FACE OF MOUNTING CRITICISM, PRESIDENT BIDEN RETURNED TO THE WHITE HOUSE FROM CAMP DAVID. HAS CAMP DAVID BEEN OVERRUN BY THE TALIBAN? NOT YET? LITTLE VICTORIES. IN THE SPEECH, BIDEN POINTED OUT THAT OUR AFGHAN ALLIES DID NOT SHOW THE WILL TO FIGHT: >> AFGHANISTAN POLITICAL LEADERS GAVE UP AND FLED THE COUNTRY. THE AFGHAN MILITARY COLLAPSED, SOMETIME WITHOUT TRYING TO FIGHT. IF ANYTHING, THE DEVELOPMENTS OF THE PAST WEEK REINFORCED THAT ENDING US MILITARY INVOLVEMENT IN AFGHANISTAN NOW WAS THE RIGHT DECISION. AMERICAN TROOPS CANNOT AND SHOULD NOT BE FIGHTING IN A WAR AND DYING IN A WAR THAT AFGHAN FORCES ARE NOT WILLING TO FIGHT FOR THEMSELVES. >> Stephen: HE'S RIGHT. WE HAVE HAD TROOPS THERE FOR 20 YEARS, THEY FOUGHT, THEY SACRIFICED, THEIR FAMILIES SACRIFICED, SO THAT WE WOULDN'T HAVE A TERRORIST ATTACK PLANNED IN A FOREIGN COUNTRY. WHY SHOULD OUR SOLDIERS BE FIGHTING RADICALS IN A CIVIL WAR IN AFGHANISTAN? WE'VE GOT OUR OWN ON CAPITOL HILL. (APPLAUSE) THEN BIDEN POINTED OUT THE U.S. DID EVERYTHING WE COULD FOR THE AFGHANS: >> WE GAVE THEM EVERY TOOL THEY COULD NEED. WE PAID THEIR SALARIES, PROVIDE FOR THE MAINTENANCE OF THEIR AIR WE DWAIF THEM EVERY CHANCE TO DETERMINE THEIR OWN FUTURE. WHAT WE COULD NOT PROVIDE THEM WAS THE WILL TO FIGHT FOR THAT FUTURE. >> Stephen: JUST A THOUGHT, MAYBE WE SHOULD HAVE CHECKED WITH THE AFGHAN ARMY IF THEY HAD THE WILL 'BEFORE' WE GAVE THEM THE TOOLS AND WEAPONS? BECAUSE NOW THE TALIBAN HAS THE WILL 'AND' THE WEAPONS, AND THE FORMER AFGHAN ARMY SOLDIERS ARE HOME RUBBING MIRACLE GROW ON THEIR FACE TO TRY TO SQUEEZE OUT A BEARD. BY DAWN. IN THE END, BIDEN ARGUED THAT WHENEVER WE PULLED OUT, THE TALIBAN WOULD TAKE OVER. >> EVENTS WE'RE SEEING NOW ARE SADLY PROOF NO AMOUNT OF MILITARY FORCE WOULD EVER DELIVER A STABLE, UNITED SECURE AFGHANISTAN KNOWN IN HISTORIES THE GRAVEYARD OF EMPIRES. WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW COULD JUST AS EASILY HAPPEN FIVE YEARS AGO OR 15 YEARS IN THE FUTURE. >> Stephen: YES. WE'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 YEARS. 4 ADMINISTRATIONS. THE FIRST TWO, ONE REPUBLICAN, ONE DEMOCRAT, SAID WE MUST STAY IN AFGHANISTAN. THE LAST TWO, ONE REPUBLICAN AND ONE DEMOCRAT, SAID NAH, IT'S TIME TO GO. AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE AGREED. BOTH TIMES. AS RECENTLY AS LAST MONTH, AN OVERWHELMING MAJORITY OF AMERICANS - 70% OR MORE - SUPPORTED BIDEN'S WITHDRAWAL. 70% YOU KNOW HOW FEW THINGS 70% OF AMERICANS AGREE ON? I THINK THIS, AND EXTRA CHEESE. WHICH ALSO OFTEN ENDS BADLY. AND FASTER THAN YOU PLANNED. SO, GOING IN? BIPARTISAN. LEAVING? BIPARTISAN. OR MAYBE NON-PARTISAN, BECAUSE FOR THE LAST 10 YEARS NO ONE HAS WANTED TO TALK ABOUT AFGHANISTAN. WHAT WE DO EVERY NIGHT, IS TO TALK ABOUT WHATEVER THE NATIONAL KFERLINGS WAS ON THE DAILY BASIS JIM, PLAY THE SIZZLE REEL OF ALL THE TIMES I'VE TALKED ABOUT AFGHANISTAN ON THE LATE SHOW: (LOW WIND AND RUSTLING BRANCHES) >> Stephen: SO WHAT'S HAPPENING NOW IS THE RESPONSIBILITY OF BOTH PARTIES, AND THE AMERICAN PEOPLE WHO VOTED THEM INTO OFFICE. SO, CHILDREN AND CONVICTS, YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK. ALSO, THANKS FOR WATCHING. AND MAYBE BIDEN'S RIGHT. MAYBE THERE WAS NO GOOD ALTERNATIVE. WERE WE NEVER SUPPOSED TO LEAVE? MAKE AFGHANISTAN THE 51ST STATE? THEY'D HAVE BETTER COVID NUMBERS THAN FLORIDA. PLAWS PLAWS SO SO YOU CAN MAKE US ACCEPT THAT THERE WAS NO GOOD ALTERNATIVE. BUT YOU CAN'T MAKE US FEEL GOOD ABOUT IT. THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO CAN FEEL GOOD ABOUT THIS ARE THE SERVICE MEMBERS AND THEIR FAMILIES WHO AREN'T GONNA SEE SOLDIERS SENT INTO HARM'S WAY FOR NO REASON THAT THE COMMANDER IN CHIEF OF EITHER PARTY CAN ARTCULATE. BUT THERE IS ONE MORE THING: FOR THE LAST 20 YEARS, 4 SEPARATE ADMINISTRATIONS TOLD US TO CARE ABOUT THE PLIGHT OF ALL THE AFGHAN PEOPLE. ESPECIALLY THE WOMEN. AND WE DID. THAT'S NOT GOING TO CHANGE. ALL THAT'S CHANGED IS THAT THERE'S NOTHING WE CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW. SO, PULLING OUT MAY BE THE RIGHT THING TO DO, BUT IT'S HEARTBREAKING, IT'S HUMBLING WHEN THE RIGHT THING FEELS SO WRONG. WE'VE GOT A GREAT SHOW FOR YOU TONIGHT, MY GUEST IS CBS CHIEF MEDICAL CORRESPONDENT DR JON LAPOOK. BUT WHEN WE COME BACK, WE'RE GONNA LIGHTEN THINGS UP WITH SOME NEWS ABOUT COVID. STICK AROUND.

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