BECOME THE ANSWER - The Most Important Mental Shift for Success

perhaps the most important mental shift completely changed my life is this stop looking for answers and become the answer so before I unpack this I want to give you a little context I over the last 10 years have lived in a few places I've lived in Boston I've lived in South Florida love them both currently last year I moved to Scottdale Arizona and and you follow your intuition sometimes you just get it right like I love this place I love the weather I love the hiking and I think most importantly the people the community the

network the friends I already have I mean it's just it's just a beautiful place everyone's warm welcoming it's very transient right so it's not very clicky it feels like people are just accepting and always trying to meet new folks and it's just it's it's awesome with that what I found interesting is there is a culture of like popup networking events and I separated it a little bit from like you know some groups that I'm involved in with the same people where we're meeting regularly you know once a month or whatever but there are just sort

of an there's an influx of like there's a networking event here everyone come networking event here everybody come and it's it's it's kind of sporadic there was one that happened in a conference room below where I live right same building I had some friends there so I thought you know what I'll go down and uh some incredible people doing some incredible things and one of the conversations that was being had or the message that was being expressed was essentially this it was you're one handshake away from your life changing your one relationship away from your

business taking off that thing you need just might be the accountant or videographer or editor sitting in this room right which on the surface sure why not you always benefit from having talented people in your life from having killers on your team and great you know working relationships absolutely but I couldn't help but think that that idea could be deceptive that in a way it's missing the mark because I'm looking around the room myself included by the way and I'm thinking I bet every single person in this room would be better off if they took

these 4 hours right the 2 2 and 1 half to be in the room and then I'm sure you know people had to drive to uh the meeting room so let's just say a full evening they'd be better off if they took that went home by themselves asked themselves how can I be better and worked on being the 1% at what they do and the reason I think that's so important is because I want to say societally but I just think perhaps it's just an algorithm thing online the content were pushed the stories were told

it's Outsourcing value so it's here's how you get rich online here's how you have an amazing network of people that will change your life when in reality all of those things are lagging indicators meaning they come secondary and they come secondary to becoming more valuable when you ask yourself consistently how can I be better at what I do how can I be the 1% at what I do how can I be so exceptional or as the quote says so good people can't ignore you all those things come when you're a killer at what you do

people with Talent want to be a part of it you get calls and emails you get DMS because you're adding value when you're adding value in a meaningful way you're making money because you're contributing to a Marketplace it seems so obvious that we forget you know and I'm certainly not saying I am the 1% of what I do but I can tell you I'm locked in on that and I understand that and there were hours spent In This Very Room Every Day writing and speaking so that I can become closer to that because I know

when you have achieved that in your world all that other stuff accompanies it period so don't interpret this as networking bad money bad right of course not but they're secondary they're lagging if you you focus on how do I become exceptional what do I do every day that makes me different stand out that makes me great you're positioning yourself to go to the Moon you're positioning yourself to have all these other things the network should supplement the greatness just don't forget to work on the greatness right life changes when you stop looking for answers and

become the answer before you can ever get to where you're going you have to decide to [Music] begin you have to acknowledge that what you're chasing means more to you than and what you are leaving [Music] behind and then begins The Greatest Adventure you will ever experience knowing that you have turned someday into right now that the road beneath you is waving you on the Wind at your back it pushes you [Music] forward there are no guarantees in life but that just might be what makes it so incredible you'll only go as far as you

allow your imagination to take [Music] you whether it's the end of your driveway way or where the sun in the ocean [Laughter] intersect here's to going even when you don't want to go to moving forward when you're uncomfortable to stepping up when you're fearful here's the courage I was talking to a friend of mine earlier today about understanding the difference between two things on one hand the fear that presents itself when we're growing leveling up right like we've all felt nerves before a big event or an important life change things like that then on the

other hand the emotions that arise when we start to feel like something isn't right for us similar discomfort but not quite the same we feel nervous or uneasy because we know we're misaligned and where we landed in our conversation was that when you were on the edge of that metaphorical cliff and your body's pushing back your heart's pounding your mind is racing you're nervous you're fearful the question worth asking is will I be disappointed in myself if I don't go through with this will I be letting myself down here by turning back you have to

jump into the future and imagine you know future you sitting at the table reflecting on this if you see yourself as regretful wishing you pushed through then it's not an alignment issue it's a matter of courage and when you think about it it usually feels obvious looking back like I can easily recognize in hindsight the things I stopped doing uh because they weren't aligned with who I wanted to be right when you stop doing the wrong thing it feels like a breath of fresh air like a step back to Leap Forward those decisions create a

more fulfilled life but those times I stopped because you know I let the moment get bigger than my end goal those times I caved and decided I didn't want to pay the price solely because of the temporary discomfort I remember those two that's a different feeling Al together a not so good feeling as we all know Jim Ron says it like this there's a pain of discipline or a pain of regret choose your pain one of the things that makes life challenging is that we have to be open to some level of discomfort in our

lives that's just what it is to be human now our PO is that we get to choose where we let that pain in and what it means what it will do for us will it be the type of pain that grows us or the type of pain that reminds us what could have been and I really think most of the time we stop not because the path was wrong for us but because we somewhere along the way forgot that most of life's best experiences and circumstances and opportunities come with a hefty price tag they demand

a lot of us and in those moments when the lights shine the brightest when we feel the weight of the world coming down on us it's easy to misdiagnose that discomfort as a stop sign it's like oh I feel alone I feel unsure I don't have any validation my pride hurts my confidence is shaken whatever it may be these things just you know even as I'm saying them out loud now seem awful when in reality they're just the cost of admission right it's like you have to not know before you can ever know but try

telling yourself that as you're wandering around feeling nothing but pressure right it's a different story altogether it's a challenge but here's the good news it's a challenge you're capable of handling of overcoming life is about stepping into things we don't feel ready for and then learning repeatedly that we can piece together the knowledge along the way it reminds us that fear is going to show up regardless of what we do in life but to grow into the people we are capable of becoming we have to understand that fear is in its own unique way an

invitation the discomfort doesn't mean something's wrong often the opposite it's letting you know that more is available that you are right where you need to be but you have to change in order to become worthy of what's on the other side life is not saying no it's merely demanding of you courage and courage you have [Music] what is the difference when I think back to the first time I deviated from my comfort zone my routine I lost this certainty in my life and as much as I wanted to go back I remember telling myself one

more day just one more day until someday became the current day and that made all the difference day one starting my company I remember turning the camera on and feeling so lost saying words into a microphone that I almost didn't press record but I did until one day I realized Not only was it bearable it was my purpose the vehicle that transported my thoughts to the world and that made all the difference during the times when some of the projects I invested the most time and energy into flopped I remember almost saying this isn't for

me but I kept creating I kept creating until I found that intersection of what I love and what adds value to the world and that made all the difference what's crazy is how small a decision that difference seems in the moment how insignificant the decision feels as one stands and looks out from their doorway the difference between going and not going stepping out or staying in making the move or waiting one more day that difference is sometimes disguised in a cloak of triviality but do not be fooled the little decision to move forward to hang

on when your ego is screaming at you to just let go walk away find some semblance of comfort and predictability those decisions to endure in the moments of hardship are what we come to look back on as the turning points that reshaped and redefined Life as We Know It the courage required to make the call release the video register the business send the message reconnect with that loved one deviate from what your friends are doing all those things they may seem small enough now to spend a minute or two thinking about before moving on to

our routines and what we are com able doing after all it's easy to disregard the small things but the acorn that becomes the oak tree is small we must along with the current reality see the potential in what those things become and sure there are times where the present and the ideal are so different that it seems almost incomprehensible but how do we get there we get there by making the little decisions that will ultimately make the greatest difference you are always one decision away from that Evolution so next time you find yourself looking down

at the step in front of you the step you know in your soul is the right step remind yourself yes it sure would be easy to walk away here it sure would be easy to turn back yeah it's just one tiny step but in totality it's exponentially more than that it's the lifeblood of your new reality the water to your seed the oxygen to your lungs the crossroads in front of you will be with your permission the beginning of something Larger than Life it will ultimately be the difference [Music] normality is a paved Road it's

comfortable to walk but no flowers grow Vincent Van go what is normality well according to the dictionary normal is the usual average or typical state or condition common normal is also a decision there's a quote by Robin Sharma and I've looked to this for years it states uh if you want what the 5% have you need to be willing to do what only the 5% are willing to do what they obtain is not definitionally speaking normal it's uncommon and what they do to arrive at that outcome is is also uncommon they play by a different

set of rules and in doing so end up with an entirely different outcome than most to put it simply we arrive at normal when our effort level is normal you put in normal hours or give average effort at work most likely your results career progress compensation will be normal you pay moderate attention to your Fitness your health well your level of physical fitness will be normal you dedicate typical levels of effort to your relationships your relationships will be normal not terrible but not remarkable right I'm sure you get the the idea here the pattern generally

over time what we get starts to reflect what we gave and here's where the self assessment comes in the awareness you have to ask yourself in pursuit of something greater whether your actions are aligning with your goals and objectives there's nothing so feudal as telling yourself you're going to achieve miraculous Larger than Life outcomes and then putting in average typical normal effort if normal goes in normal comes out and as I was thinking about this recently you know as a pertains to my life uh had a little Epiphany right so Fitness is a big area

of focus for me I run or do some type of strength training 6 days a week as far as I can tell that level of effort is beyond normal right I go above and beyond uh in that area of my life but even though I'm aligned on my mission to be the 5% there I realized there was a gap I realized my diet was very normal completely unextraordinary it's just easy to convince yourself to eat whatever you want after a really long run right why not pizza after all it's the normal thing to do but

I had to remind myself that what I wanted in that area of my life holistically is not normal therefore the inputs cannot be normal it was time to start standing up to those things that are very easy to say yes to to rationalize and that's the idea here I pick my 5% categories where I truly want to Excel and make sure there is nothing normal about their development you want top tier results you have to give top tier effort make the sacrifices map out the path you know I've come to see this differently over the

years it's not an indictment against you as a person for choosing normal but know that it is indicative of a choice and the output eventually comes to a line with the input all the actions or lack there of Stack up to resemble something it's up to you to decide what that is and so the next question perhaps somewhat of an obvious one is when it comes to the things that matter most to you why stay confined to normal it's the above and beyond the peak experiences the times we overcame fought and won took the risk

and came out on top that's when we are at our best that's when we get the most from life so is normal the end of the world not no it's just that abnormal is the beginning of one you can be your greatest fan and also your biggest critic in fact not only is it healthy it's necessary to be there for yourself celebrate that commitment to show up but also to hold yourself accountable for growth because to be great is to know there's more in you to understand that there's greatness waiting to be extracted from the

miracle that is you here are two words I want to take a look at both of them consistency and adaptation consistency first why because consistency gets you in the door it's the cost of admission consistency is you showing up for yourself day in and day out creating Mastery and competence through repetition Manufacturing a a data set that will be used to guide your journey taking a once stagnant idea and putting it into motion consistency is doing what you promised yourself you do when you said you do it why because that's who you are you create

goals and then conquer those goals when you're your head hits a pillow at night you may be tired you may have struggled you may have swung and missed you may be wondering how things unfolded the way they did but you showed up so celebrate that celebrate yourself be your biggest fan cuz the world can't take your will to step forward and cannot Seize Your [Music] consistency not without your permission so other than part one let's call consistency the commitment to show up for you now the second piece consistency's older brother adaptation see that consistency like

we just talked about it will get you in the door it signs you up for the game but it guarantees nothing see where consistency puts that pen in your hand paper in front of you Pats you on the back where consistency gives you a chance to write your story one's level of success or achievement relies on their ability to adapt to do the thing that's so hard for people to do look in the mirror and ask how can I be better I've been consistent for 30 days sure here's what's right here's what's wrong now it's

time to adjust to be critical to understand that expecting more of the self does not in any way diminish the task at hand it gives you room to expand into that next version of yourself in a way that simply showing up doesn't without a willingness to adapt you get Einstein's definition of insanity right doing the same thing repeatedly and expecting different results you get day after day of wondering why this square peg won't just save us all the trouble and go into the round hole without without a willingness to adapt we move for the sake

of moving and we work for the sake of working but if we could find it within ourselves to look at the data that's been acquired day after day and use it to help guide ourselves to that North Star we'll find strength to seek out the Delta between where we are and where we want to be that is power but it calls for more than just showing up it calls for looking around it calls for observing and then adapting so yeah your greatest fan and your greatest critic be there for you but don't let yourself get

away with good enough showing up is critical it's powerful but it's just the beginning if your eyes stay open if you're willing to both love yourself and improve yourself simultaneously all the world becomes available to you there are no mountains you can't climb or oceans you can't cross and sure the world will do what the world does it will place challenges before you but rather than those challenges being the reason you can't rather than accepting those challenges as a permanent reality they become nothing more than the next puzzle to be solved the next little adaptation

that's required of you you show up you self assess you adjust and carry right on towards that Horizon again and again so when you find yourself frustrated or up against that wall remember you are building your ideal reality be proud of yourself for showing up for being consistent because as dire as it might seem you overcame a lot to get here but also know that the challenge at hand is not an indictment of you or your goals it's your chance to review the game plan and adjust your opportunity to do what so many fail to

do not shrink from the world but adapt yourself to it grow grow because of it today is your opportunity to take what the world gives you and build something new [Music] that was at the heat Celtics game with my brother a few days ago and the Celtics at the moment are the best team in basketball which is fun being that we're from Boston originally and you know right now the team has a handful of really good players but one of them Jason Tatum has essentially separated himself as one of the most dominant players in the

game right he's a superstar and as we watched him play from the stands we were talking about a narrative that I don't hear mentioned a lot and maybe it is in like basketball circles but I don't hear it much out and about I think it's incredible it's the fact that uh Boston's general manager at the time Danny a saw value in Tatum way before everybody else now don't get me wrong he was always a leite but the Celtics GM saw Superstar potential in Tatum uh to a much greater extent than everyone else right in fact

in the 2017 draft uh the Celtics had the first overall pick and you know for those unfamiliar it's usually pretty obvious how the first handful of picks are going to go right the players are all ranked before the draft and the team with the first pick is going to select the first best player obviously the team with the second pick is going to select the second best player um and while it was sort of known that Tatum was the agreed upon third best player in the draft but the Celtics didn't want number one and two

even though the scouts and draft boards and you know the Talking Heads all around the country saw them as better right so here's Danny a with that coveted number one overall pick which in basketball is so valuable and he's like I don't care I want the guy who's projected number three right so he trades down he gives Philly uh his number one pick basically saying hey if the guy I want is going to go third anyway might as well trade away the first pick and get a little extra value right and still get Tatum at

number three and that's exactly what they did and here we are watching him as one of the best players in the game and by the way the guy who went first overall is relatively underperformed given where he was picked the guy who went number two overall same has been up and down constant injury issues and I look back at how that played out and I just think like the pressure the weight of having this coveted pick and being like no I don't want it right the guy that I want is number three right being so

confident that you see value where others don't it's hard to do that with conviction you know so I look at this and sure he made some mistakes as all GMS do you can't predict the future it's a numbers game right but the ability to spot value particularly in places others seem to disregard is what I see as the difference between excellence and mediocrity life is always trying to give us the equivalent of a draft board right in some capacity it's like here's what's normal here's what's projected number one two and three options are are the

quote unquote best options for the most part sure it's a decent guideline but it's not enough it's not enough I think we need to train ourselves to be asking yeah but where is the move that manifests into that gamechanging difference where in my life is the move that pushes me over the top the action that sets me apart as staying on the basketball theme one of the most inspiring things i' ever heard was Kobe uh in an interview talking about the extra value he'd capitalize on throughout the day um being the difference in his career

saying look if I get up 2 hours before everyone else and I get a workout in not once in a while but every day that's the difference why well in a week it's nothing in a month it's not much in 6 months it creates a gap in a year that's quite the advantage in 5 years you're not even on the same level in a decade he is now Untouchable to his competition yeah it's just the morning everyone has the morning but Kobe saw it and recognized it as opportunity as his value the consensus out there

in the world is that the morning is when you ease into your day right it doesn't put what you're doing at 6:00 a.m. High On That metaphorical draft board it's who cares well to Kobe ah perfect there's the value that I can spot that I can utilize that most most people will not even think about and in totality I believe that to be the truth right like you can do fine simply anticipating and living in and around the value as identified by the majority by following their blueprint but to separate to move from adequate to

Excellence you need to find those places where you can squeeze more out of life you need to dive deeper into what's around you than Ah that's what's expected or that's what everyone else is doing that's what's perceived as valuable be your own GM right question the way of things not just out in the world but in your home in your daytoday where are the moves that can take you from a I don't know a six inefficiency to an eight what ways can you be unconventional flip the script to unveil the Val value you've been walking

by for months years maybe even your whole life without realizing there are always pieces around us to be great and not just get by or survive but Thrive there are the necessary ingredients to our right and left always to Astound ourselves we just have to arrange them in a way that allows us to maximize their value it's a constant moving of parts trying again and again but not settling for a ranking system to life as prescribed by the outside world there's more if you're willing to find it