Cheating Wife of 23 Years Begs Me to Take Her Back After Her Boyfriend Dumps Her.

cheating wife of 23 years begs me to take her back after her boyfriend dumps her I'm a 50-year-old man who's been married to my wife Amy 48f for over two decades 23 years to be more precise we also have three kids together the oldest of whom is 22 years old and the youngest is almost 18 our kids are Rachel 22f Jake 19m and Ava 17/1 18f recently Amy confessed to me that she'd been cheating on me with her cooworker Matt 27m I'm using fake names here for obvious reasons one week ago she sat me down

and told me that she'd been with Matt for 2 years now and that she finally felt ready to tell me and to take things to the next level with him all our kids are pretty grown up as well and Ava will be an adult in 2 months so she believed that this was the perfect time to tell me the truth I was devastated when she told me and I'm thankful that none of our kids were around to see me dissolve into a puddle of tears and have a total breakdown when she confessed because I'm sure

they wouldn't have liked to see that Rachel moved out for work after college Jake is in college in Ava was at a friend's place that day so we had the house to ourselves and I'm sure that that was the reason why me pick the day to tell me the truth she tried to comfort me while I was crying and begging her not to leave and give our marriage another chance but she told me that she could no longer stay with me anymore and waste more of her time being stuck in a Loveless marriage my entire

world had been turned upside down that day so naturally my first reaction was to try to make her stay and be in denial of whatever she told me so I'd appreciate it if nobody judged me it was all said in a moment of weakness I let myself SOB for half an hour before the realization finally set in and I managed to compose myself Amy had been patting my arm all along and saying things like if get better and you'll find someone treating me like a wounded puppy and not her husband who she' cheated on and

then dumped after 23 years of marriage once I pulled myself together I stood up and told her to leave the house because I didn't want her around anymore once they came back she was visibly surprised that I'd gone from begging her to stay to asking her to leave the house and to be honest so was I but I said it nevertheless if she had anything to say at that point she didn't say it at the time and left in silence after adding a few belongings of hers in an already packed duffel bag so I knew

that she'd already been planning to leave and had seen this coming she then left after an awkward side hug that I didn't even reciprocate and just stood there stiffly like a statue after Amy left I think I must have cried like a baby for the next couple of hours until Ava came back home I was shattered and didn't know what to do with myself anymore because my marriage had fallen apart and even worse the woman i' loved more than life itself had cheated on me and continued to cheat on me for two whole years until

she finally told me she didn't even think there was anything messed up with what she'd done because the entire time after she'd confessed she just kept acting like it was no big deal and only tried to comfort me because she probably felt uncomfortable just sitting there silently while I sobbed there were a million things that were and are still going through my mind in an endless loop but at least I'm feeling considerably more stable now since one week has past and I've been able to hold myself together for the sake of my kids if not

for myself I most certainly have to be strong for them because this has come as a huge shock to them too when Ava came home that day she found me sleeping on the couch and when I woke up she could tell that I'd been crying because my eyes were all red and puffy she asked me what was wrong and where her mother was several times before I finally told her because I knew that saying it all out loud would make it real and I'd end end up crying again but I did tell her the truth

and inevitably ended up sobbing some more which felt kind of embarrassing but at least Ava was there to comfort me and it was genuine she was just as much in shock as I'd been when I first found out I wasn't thinking straight at the time and so I hadn't told anyone anything by then but Ava made several calls and managed to inform her siblings and asked them to come home as soon as they could and also told her uncle my brother so he could come over and help us out my brother Eric 45m is still

single by choice but he's a solid guy and I knew I could always count on him if I was ever in any sort of trouble he proved me right when he showed up at my house within hours of aa's call even though he lives quite far away he knew that I needed to rest my head and grieve the end of my marriage and life as I knew it for a few days so he moved in with us to help take care of us all for the next couple of days it's been a week and he's

still here and so are all my kids we're all trying to cope with this together and make sense of the situation somehow because it still feels a little like a nightmare I can't seem to wake up from I didn't think that Amy leaving would have such an impact on me and my mental health but I think Eric was right to take that call and move in because I've been really lost ever since she left and can't even seem to bring myself to get out of bed in the mornings so yeah I believe that I do

need all the help I can get my kids are also being incredibly sweet and I'm thankful for it I've spoken to my lawyer about everything and we're preparing ourselves for the inevitable divorce now I haven't actually filed for divorce yet myself because I've been waiting for Amy to serve me and it was strange that it hadn't happened so far but last night I got to know why exactly she hasn't filed for divorce yet even though she's told me that she's leaving me yesterday really late at night I received a call from Amy and I was

shocked because we hadn't spoken since she left and I didn't have any idea why she'd be calling me after almost a week out of the blue I answered her call and she sounded distressed and I knew that she'd been crying she asked about the kids and I told her that they were all here and so was my brother and tried to keep the concern out of my voice to the best of my abilities because I didn't want her to know that I still cared I did and still do but I just didn't want her to

know that after she asked about the kids and I replied as Brusly as I could she started crying on the phone and it took me by surprise because I didn't expect her to break down she's the one who cheated on me and then left so it didn't make sense for her to be crying I could couldn't stop myself and before I knew it I'd asked her if she was all right and then she told me that Matt had turned her away when she'd asked to move in with him the day that she left our house

apparently he wasn't ready for a relationship yet and was just messing around with her he told her to her face that he was still young and wanted to have all the fun that he could before he finally settled down and while Amy is attractive for her age she's still 50 and has three kids and that's not his idea of an ideal wife for his future because he does want kids and a long life ahead with whoever he chooses to marry and due to Amy's age a future is not something she can offer him which is

why he doesn't think they should be in a real relationship or moving together so neither is Matt ready for a relationship and even if he was he wouldn't be in one with Amy and now she was having a total breakdown over it because she had nowhere to go she was crying on the phone for like 15 minutes because now she knew that she'd ruined her life with that Affair and I honestly felt really satisfied with whatever was happening she told me that our kids weren't speaking to her now and they'd all blocked her everywhere without

a word and that she'd been living in a hotel for the past week because she didn't know if I'd have her back or not and she was too afraid to ask me she'd finally broken down and called me yesterday because she couldn't think of what else to do and obviously she couldn't just live in the hotel forever and now she was calling to ask me if I'd let her live with her and give her one more chance I was dumb struck at the sheer audacity to even ask this of me in within seconds all my

concern and sadness disappeared and was replaced by anger which really should have happened a long time back I told her right away that there was going to be no second chance for her just like she didn't give me one and that I was glad that this was happening to her because she deserved every bit of this for what she' done I then hung up without waiting for a reply and turned my phone off so I could go to sleep with thinking about her I was really pissed off that she'd even thought for a second that

even after what she'd done she could just come running to me and I'd fix the situation for her like always we'd had a lot of ups and downs over the years in our marriage like any other married couple but I'd always tried to fix every fight even though she'd rarely ever apologize to me it was always me who was chasing after her and trying to make it up to her even if I wasn't in the wrong but I'd had enough I couldn't look past this I couldn't forget this and I most certainly didn't even want

to because this was the reality check that I needed I'd always loved my wife more than she loved me and more than she deserved to be loved but that ended now now I don't think I did anything wrong by asking her to leave the house and refusing to let her come back because after all the house is technically mine since I'm the one who bought it so it's under my ownership legally and she can't force me to let her live her but she's been trying to manipulate me into believing that I'm being cruel to her

somehow after I finally turned my phone back on this morning I found several texts from her that she'd sent last night after our phone call she was Furious and acting like the victim because apparently I was being selfish and not thinking of her at all which is such a strange thing to say after she cheated on me she's also accusing me of turning the kids against her which is simply not true because until she told me about it I didn't even know that they blocked her and were refusing to speak to her so I don't

think that's my fault at all in fact I really don't see why any of this is my fault and maybe it's the anger talking here but it just seems insane that she's accusing me of being selfish because I don't want to give our marriage another chance after she cheated on me and then when she got rejected she came crawling back to me because she thought that I'd just take her back in heartbeat I don't think I'm in the wrong here at all and I also wanted to make sure that I'm not being unnecessarily cruel out

of anger in this situation so I'm turning to you people now Ida for refusing to let my wife move back in with me after she cheated on me with her coworker update one hey everybody first and foremost a huge thanks to every single person who took out time to respond to my original post I'm actually so thankful that I made the post and realized how badly I was being gaslighted by Amy because she had me questioning my decision to not let her back into my home and my life I certainly was having second thoughts and

I would have fallen weak had I not posted here everyone who responded thank you so much I appreciate it and I think you guys saved me from another lifetime of absolute misery and mistrust that would have been inevitable had I decided to forgive Amy and get back together with her but yeah I'm back in my senses now and I know that she doesn't deserve a second chance at all it's been a couple of days since my original post and she's been texting me a lot to persuade me to take her back and has tried almost

every tactic from guilt tripping to Gaslight and regularly keeps apologizing while saying that she made a huge mistake by engaging in an extramarital affair at all and that she'll do her very best to make it up to me I don't know why exactly she thinks that I'll still take her back despite her affair because this is not just some small Petty fi and she's taking things way too lightly she still doesn't realize the enormity of what she did to me and I highly doubt that she ever will get it I'm feeling a lot better now

so I've sent Rachel and Jake back so they can resume their normal lives Ava is still living with me and checks up on me from time to time which I do appreciate but I've told her not to let me hold her back from going out and having fun with her friends or whatever it is that brings her Joy I know this is a tough time for all of us but we'll all get through it eventually and she's supposed to move out for college in the fall as well so I want her to make the most

of her time here my brother's still living with us though and I'm really thankful for it I spoke about the emotional impact of the affair and Amy leaving me at length but there are also practical day-to-day activities that have also been affected by her leaving that seem a little petty but are also a constant reminder of her absence now that Amy's gone we needed someone to take over her share of chores and she's the one who usually used to do all our laundry because she said she enjoyed it the kids and I used to keep

the house clean take out the trash and do the dishes and Amy used to do the laundry and the cooking because that's what she enjoyed doing but now it was up to me and Eric to take over because Ava was busy with with her own life and I wasn't going to keep her home just to help out with chores my brother's been a godsend ever since he's come here and even though he's not very emotional or affectionate he's been there for me and has made me feel like I can let go a little which is

something I feel like I really did need I know he'll have to go back to his life at some point but I'm lucky that he's here for me now speaking about the legal aspect of things my lawyer and I have already filed for divorce we went ahead with a petition yesterday after I realized that now that Amy had nowhere to go she wasn't going to file for divorce anymore because she wanted to come back now she's going to be served in a couple of days and then the real battle begins it's already exhausting for me

to even think about it so I can only imagine how much more mentally taxing it'll be when I actually have to go through it all I never imagined that I'd have to get divorced and yet here we are it's a horrible feeling but there's just nothing else I can do anymore at least I'll know that I did my very best to keep the marriage intact and whatever is happening right now isn't my fault it's hers so I don't need to feel like crap about what happened I'm also grateful that my kids are all grown up

now because I don't think I could have handled a custody battle alongside the divorce now update to Amy was served with the divorce papers today and I don't think she took it well if the texts she sent me are any indication at all I haven't blocked her because I haven't found the mental strength to cut her off entirely just yet but I will soon she sent me several vile messages about the things she wishes would happen to me because according to her I'm the one who ruined her life and I'm just taking revenge on her

for trying to have a little bit of fun so she can distract herself from her boring and monotonous life she told me that I'm almost 50 and look like it too and she just wanted a change of scenery the thing about me looking my age is fair because I quit going to the gym ages ago and my hairline is receding but I think that's just because like any other normal human being I'm also aging I'm the father of three kids and almost all of them are adults now so I think it's natural for me to

look my age it's not even like I'm ugly or unhealthily obese and I've kept in decent shape for my age but if she wants me to look the same way as I did back when we got married in our early 20s then that's going to be an issue I don't think it's humanly possible to look the same age unless you're a celebrity and can afford to spend all your time and money on maintaining your looks throughout the years of course she finds Matt more physically attractive than me but that's where the whole marital commitment comes

in if she couldn't exercise any control over herself and flung herself at the very first somewhat young guy whom she found attractive then that's not my fault it's kind of pathetic that she's still trying to shift the blame onto me and make it look like what she did was fine and I should have been the one to fix myself but that's just how she is I suppose only now am I finally seeing all the red flags that I've been ignoring for over 20 years out of love for my wife but now that she's my soon

to be ex-wife I realize what kind of a human being she is and I feel like an idiot for never acknowledging any of this before I I should have known but I chose to ignore it all because I loved Amy and even now somewhere deep down I know that I still do which feels pathetic and embarrassing to admit but I can't help it that's really what has prevented me from blocking her and cutting her off entirely so far but I'm just praying that I find the strength to do it soon enough because I don't think

I can keep up with her Insanity anymore I don't want to see more of whatever this side of hers is I won't call it her evil side because what she's doing is beyond that it's cruel to the point of hilarity if that's even a thing update three so there's been a very ironic turn of events but thankfully it doesn't affect me directly I learned from my daughter Rachel a couple of hours ago that as of now Amy is having online drama with Matt because yesterday she posted a rant about how Matt had let her on

for 2 years and then eventually dumped her because he didn't see a future with her now that I think of it it was pretty stupid of her to abandon her life without even discussing these things with him first I'm not a cheater but at least she should have thought things through before going head first into this whole relationship thing with Matt and at least asked him if he want of the same things as well coming back to the post a couple of other female co-workers also commented on that post and said that he'd also been

involved with them so essentially that guy was pretty much the office mattress and had never loved Amy at all I didn't believe in karma earlier but this is just Karma at its finest and I can't believe that this is happening to her I've blocked her and so is Rachel but she found out from a cousin of hers who obviously still has Amy added because we haven't announced our separation to the rest of the family just yet but I think that post in itself does the job well I'm still going to tell my own family soon

but before that I just want to relish the drama that she's caught up in and take a step back to admire the crap fist Amy has walked into that Matt guy truly deserves a round of applause because I really can't imagine anyone being able to pull off multiple Affairs in the same office for more than a year I hated him initially when I learned that Amy had been cheating with him on me but now I think I'm warming up to him I might even congratulate him and tell him well played or something I don't know

all I know is that this is the perfect payback for what Amy did to me and is really just a perfect example of the repercussions of cheating and ruining your perfect life just for a little bit of fun as she put it herself at least I'm going to be out of this mess and her life soon enough now and I can't wait for the divorce to come through at this point update 4 hi it's been a little over a month since my original post and we're currently in the negotiations phase for the settlement it's incredible

how I now look at her and feel absolutely nothing for her anymore she smiles at me sometimes during the meetings and tries to talk to me after them but I do my best to avoid her and keep my distance as far as I know she's living with a friend of hers now and has been fired from her previous job but I don't think I'll have to give her any alimony because of the very public confession of her infidelity on Facebook thanks to her delusional belief that Matt would be serious about her at some point I

don't even need to prove that she'd been cheating because she did all the work for me herself my kids are still not speaking to her and we like to pretend that she doesn't even exist anymore I know it's not exactly healthy but we'll think about that later when some time has passed right now it's way too fresh to be discussed emotionally I'm doing a lot better than I was when I first posted here and I know it'll just get better with time I'm probably going to start therapy in a few days once I have more

time after the divorce is finalized or something and maybe that'll help me feel okay about everything eventually