The Money Expert: “I Was Arrested 6 Times in 18 Months!” How I Still Built $100M Net Worth By 29!

my parents had gotten divorced I'd lived with my mom she got into drugs and alcohol and when I was 15 she tried to kill herself in front of me wow when that happened I just completely shut down until I was 19 I got out of the house and then I was just mad so I started drinking and then I started doing drugs and then I and it turned into this whole cycle and that's what got me to get arrested six times in 18 months wow Lea Heros co-founder of gym launch which sold for $50 million

she knows how to scale and grow companies her expertise so Leila perosi welcome to the show I was 29 when we sold our business 29 and I already had a multi hundred million net worth what I've had to do in order to keep winning is I've had to learn to love the process of being uncomfortable for so many things we think are these big things that we have to confront in life they actually only take a very small period of time but we make it out to be like this big thing because we've been running

from it for so long when you have losses and wins and negative thoughts creep up how do you start to reframe those negative thoughts to actually fuel you for success in the future rather than limit you I try [Music] to welcome back to the school of greatness very excited about the guest that we have today Leila horoi she opens up about her journey from being arrested as a teenager to a extremely successful executive revealing how she learned to channel her obsessive nature into building extraordinary companies but something is different about Leila in this episode from

all the content I've seen her share before she really opens up in a raw and vulnerable way and a few key moments that I want you to pay attention to and I want you to share Below in the comments your biggest takeaway and what you notice from Lea when she starts to open up what makes this conversation special is her vulnerable exploration of the mental and emotional skills that drive true success so if you're looking to improve in these areas of your life like this video share it with one or two friends that you want

to see succeed as well and make sure to click the subscription button to our YouTube channel we've got 12 years of content with some of the biggest celebrities influencers Business Leaders on the planet make sure to click subscribe right now so you can stay up toate on the latest and greatest here in the school of greatness and if you're looking to create new skills and leverage growing your financial abundance in a new way make sure to get my new book make money easy this is all about the tools on how to create the inner game

the inner relationship to creating Financial abundance in your life and so much wisdom is in this book from 12 Years of interviewing some of the richest and wealthiest people in the world make sure to get make money easy the link is below without further Ado let's dive in welcome back everyone at the school of greatness very excited about our guest we we have the inspiring incredible business leader Lea hor mosy good to see you nice for being here than we met a few years ago yeah and you and your husband Alex just sold a company

and you were looking to launch acquisitions.com yeah what's the thing that you have now that your 20-year-old self didn't have emotional regulation you didn't have that when you 20 in your 20s teens no what did it look like back then cuz didn't I read you like went to jail a bunch of times and like had a really chaotic yeah upbringing I I graduated high school and I went to college and I think it was you know if we R back further my parents had gotten divorced I'd lived with my mom she got into drugs and

alcohol um ended up being like a very bad environment for a kid and so you know when I was 15 she tried to kill herself in front of me I kind of just like shut down after that moment until I was 19 like I just went numb I remember actually um because I'd been this constant state of anxiety like Perpetual like always heightened anxiety in my body and I'd lost like 20% of my body weight or something I remember like it was just like very very stressed all the time was this before she attempted uh

yeah to kill herself constantly just stressed because she was freaking she'd be gone for a week at a time I wouldn't know where she was I want to tell anybody cuz I didn't want anyone to like call you know whatever that child services child services or whatever this is when you're like 13 to 15 9 to 15 wow she'd be gone for a week at a time yeah and so your parents were divorced before then they got divorced they separated when I was nine gotcha you were with your mom alone most of the time then

correct yeah um and she'd been a great mom before that but when that happened I just completely shut down and the way that I was able to do anything was just I was numb it was like I wasn't angry I also wasn't happy I was just like this flat flat yeah until I was 19 I got out of the house um and then I was just mad and I didn't know how to deal with that anger so I started drinking and then I started doing drugs and then I and it turned into this whole cycle

and then I started getting arrested because I was blacking out and I was doing drugs and I didn't I don't even know what I did half the time um and that's what got me to get arrested six times in 18 months wow I know it was just like six times six times yeah you would think the fourth second and first yeah I mean it was not enough um wow what is that like getting arrested six times humiliating really yeah like I was very ashamed but I didn't know how to stop wow yeah I don't know

I mean I've never been arrested I hope it never happens because I just don't know what state you need to be in to keep getting arrested so so I can only assume that you were in a a a a very low State at that time when you feel like crap all the time you just feel like crap again when you get arrested it's not very different okay you know what I mean so it if if now I were to get arrested it would feel awful because it's such a contrast but I you're like well this

is my life anyways so whatever my life sucks so what does it matter wow yeah so um during that time what I recognized after some time is that I was at odds with my emotions and I think what it was is that I tried so hard to never feel the way I had felt when I had been in that house with my mother that first I disconnected from my emotions and then in my young 20s I was at odds with them meaning I would fight anxiety I would fight depression I would fight sadness I would

fight frustration like I didn't want I want to get rid of it and it wasn't until I was probably just in the last 6 seven years that I was like I can take them with me they're not bad and I started engaging with them in a healthy way really and just changing my relationship with them rather than trying to stuff them down suppress them get rid of them yeah exactly so what would it look like you know if you're feeling anxious now versus anxious back then how does that look are you having a conversation with

yourself are you talking to the anxiety part of you are you did you use to shame yourself when that happened like what are you doing now versus then that allows you to feel more joyful and peaceful versus stressful and crappy well it's actually funny because I think that when I was 19 I would feel an emotion and then I would drink or I would do drugs then it turned into I would work out I would study I would work and so I just replaced it which I mean hey it was more something a little more

productive but yeah yeah you still weren't addressing it though I wasn't addressing it and so it's still I still felt very anxious all the time I still felt very stressed and so now rather than the moment that I feel stressed or I feel anxious I go into action I go into I say this is my mental cues absorption absorption which is like I absorb the emotion I'm like Let It fill me up let me feel it um now I don't need to indulge in it I don't need to ruminate but I can take five minutes

to feel what I'm feeling and it's not because I need I believe that I need to do some kind of mental rumination to get over an emotion it's because I want to teach my body that it's nothing to be afraid of and that's nothing to run from and that's helped me so much because I say okay I'm going to give myself five minutes and then I'm going to go on with what my day was going to be I'm not going to let the emotion derail me from my day because I know at the end of

the day at the end of of the day that day helps me achieve my goals if I keep if I follow the plan yeah you know and so that has been the biggest change that I've made in the last decade has just been my relationship with bad negative emotions that's interesting because it sounds like first when you'd feel a negative emotion you would react to it with a negative response yeah drugs alcohol whatever numbing some numbing mechanism yeah now then you said okay this doesn't feel good anymore and I'm getting bad results by doing this

so let me try to do something productive when I feel stressed so you reacted with working harder working out trying to eat better whatever it might be but you still felt the Stress and Anxiety totally but at least there was a better result but not better external result but not internal result now you face it and you feel it and kind of reflect in the moment give yourself a pause and then you get back into something productive 100% And it's funny because the outcome like when we built uh gym launch first business that we ever

had I think a lot of that was still fueled off of this frenetic energy of like trying to run stressful like right but it created something really cool but it was I remember the moment where it was like two years before we sold that started to shift where I I started recognizing that relationship and then I said I want to be able to do this in a way that makes me better not worse mhm I don't want work to make me worse as a person I don't want work to make me emotionally worse to make

me spiritually worse to make me a worse wife I want work to make me better and so the only way I can do that is if every time I have a negative emotion I look at it as an opportunity to make a better relationship with my emotions which will that will transfer to all areas of my life my relationship my friendships Etc and so now it's like I look at business as the biggest vehicle for my personal growth because I'm constantly facing these negative emotions and so I get all that practice to to confront them

and then say hey I don't need to run from any of this and that means that my life gets to expand rather than contract every time I do that was there a moment in your life like where someone taught you this or you had someone confront you or coach you or Mentor you that said hey I see you doing these things and it's not helping here's another approach or was this just an internal reflection yeah it's actually um so about a year and a half before we sold um gym launch our first business uh I

it was like there was the week where I had to run our team quarterly I then had a full team event I had a speaking gig I was doing and then I had some other event and I was lying in bed and I remember I just felt so much anxiety and all of a sudden this like wave came over me and I had a full-blown panic attack and then I was up all night I couldn't sleep I was like what's wrong with me I haven't had a panic attack in a decade and and it wasn't

like how you know when I was young younger I would get panic attacks at times um it was like you know my tongue is swollen my hands go numb like full on like many more symptoms than I experienced in the past it freaked me out and when that happened I was like you know the first thing that happened was like what's wrong with me like there's got to be something wrong with me because I don't understand and then after about two and a half weeks of you know I I reach out to different therapists and

psychiatrists and doctors and like everyone has their own opinion of you know why did you have this panic attack um I reached out to a friend of mine who recommended I read a book and the book was um control your anxiety before it controls you by Albert Ellis and I read that book and I was like oh my God I don't need anybody to tell me what's wrong with me because nothing's wrong with me besides the fact that I think these things are so bad and the things in your life were bad or certain the

emotions that I was feeling you thought the fact that I was so anxious about something the fact that like there's nothing wrong with me for having a panic attack there's nothing wrong if you can't sleep at night because you're anxious there's nothing wrong but I was labeling all those things as bad and wrong and saying I needed to make them go away like something's wrong with me I shouldn't have these feelings or these emotions yes the must because sometimes emotions are so strong we feel like there's something physically wrong with us and so I then

said I need to learn all this for myself and so I started studying um a lot of Albert Ellis and stepen Hayes um their work just as behavioral psychologists and I think I've read every book from each one of them wow and it's really helped me learn that there's never been anything wrong with me it's just been my response to my negative emotions that has been uh I've just had a bad relationship with them most of my life and so I had to change that and that was when I decided because I said how am

I going to be able to achieve my goals if you know my goals do have me doing a speaking event running a full team like I want to be that person but it freaks me the out and so I had a panic attack um but I want to achieve those goals and so that that was really the I would say like the driver behind my motivation to figure that out for myself and ever since then it's been a constant practice of recognizing what I'm feeling remembering that emotions cannot hurt me right it's like a lot

of people say like oh well you're not going to die I'm like I don't think most people are scared of dying I think they scared of feeling like they're going to die you know what I'm saying like we're not scared of death we're scared of feeling like we're going to confront death and so that was really significant for me and it also I would say propelled me in the direction of learning to be more flexible and less rigid because also you know that control it also wants to control emotions like me my control in a

business setting can be very helpful at times control when it comes to an emotional part of my life is not helpful because I can't control every thought and feeling that comes into my mind or or my brain and so that really taught me that being able to let go being able to let things occur and just remind myself that I am big enough to hold space for all those things and feeling them is not going to do anything that really was probably the the time in my life when I I realized that it was because

wow lying there at night having panic attack over those things being like I'm worth multiple hundreds of millions of dollars I'm built all these things I have all this team underneath me like why I pic why is it though that some extremely successful Business Leaders or wealthy individuals have a lot of anxiety that they can't get rid of well I think that the more that you run from something the bigger it becomes right like there's this quote that I love which is uh fear is a mile wide and an inch deep and so like the

moment that you step into that puddle or into what you think is an ocean you recognize it's a puddle and I think that most of the time a lot of people I meet because I talk to thousands of vult doors each month uh they're running from something but that thing I think that they always think I'll tell you this so uh before I met Alex I had a boyfriend don't tell him oh my God uh and we broke up and then after that breakup I was really sad and so I saw a therapist at the

time and I said you know it' been like 2 and a half months and I was like just really sad and she's like well why you says that I like well you know I did hear that it takes about half the time that you've been with someone to get over someone and she was like I think that's stupid and I was like what's this therapist saying that's stupid and I was like okay well what then she's like I think it takes as long as he want it to take I was like okay so what do

you suggest she's like how about Thursday like what yeah and she was like how about you're over by Thursday yeah yeah and I was like okay she's like well what with somebody who's over it do okay well I would probably start going on dates I would probably fill my time with other things I probably wouldn't think about it so much I probably do all these things to enjoy my life and so I started doing those things and what I recognized is that the moment I started acting like I was over it I was over it

and I think I relate that back because I think so many things that we fear or so many things we think are these big things that we have to confront in life they actually only take a very small period of time but we make it out to be like this big thing because we've running from it for so long and so for me I've just noticed time and time again most of the things that I've had to confront I might have been scared of for years and I can get over it in a matter of

hours and I think it's the same for so many people but it's the fear is so persuasive like it persuades you into thinking that it's going to take so long to get over it but the reality is it doesn't it's almost like you have to skip through the puddle versus you think you have to swim across this entire ocean yeah and so I think that most people just maybe they don't have the information or maybe they don't take the time because they're so busy in the business to step out and say what are these things

that are constraining me from growing my business even bigger because for me I look at it and I'm like if there's anything taking my attention even if it's not business related I need to handle it so whatever takes the most amount of Mind share for me face it yeah I need to face that no matter what it has to do with it could have to do with my family friends whatever and so though that doesn't have to do with business that's also how I've known how to grow my business is I have to constantly clear

I say it like I'm clearing almost like whatever that means I'm not like a woooo or spiritual person but I clear the energy I'm clearing yeah way for bigger and better things so I can expand my life and I look at it like if if I have my attention is a jar of marbles and I have 100 marbles but I have 25 of them stuck on this thing I'm scared of and every day I think about it I would like to take those back M and so I need to go confront the thing that I'm

scared of in order to get those marbles back and have my full attention to do the things that I actually want to do and actually enjoy doing yeah when was the time when you started to make like some serious money how old were you when you started to like make cuz there was I know you guys had no money at one point yeah I think you might have slept in like you guys car or something or was like didn't you guys sleep in a car for a b or so we we slept at a client's

house and then we stayed at my parents house okay cool maybe he slept in his car at one point I can't remember if he said that it but um we had it car for okay anyways but there's a point in your life where you weren't making any money yeah right and then there was a point in your life where you started to make some money and then a lot more money yeah did you always feel like you were worthy and deserving of making money no when did that start to change that you felt like I'm

worthy of making money I don't think I'm worthy of making money still you don't think you're worthy I don't think anybody has to be worthy to make money do you feel like you're deserving of making the money that you have or the money that you have now you're worthy of having it I am a capable Steward of the money I think that's worthy then yeah I guess I just don't use that word very much because I think that what I used to think is I had to be this amazing I I honestly this this sounds

bad and I actually do think I'm a good person but uh I've just seen so many people that do make money that aren't the best people now do they usually lose it yes but I do think people B capable of making money without like quotee being worthy of it um I think that where it bites you in the butt for most people is that if you know that you're not using the money for good or you're not doing something good with it you are less likely to make more because you have this conflict internally you

know usually you say one thing externally you are something different internally you know what I mean um but for me it was I didn't believe that I was capable of of making money really no what shifted for you to believe you were capable of making money I made money I I'm not kidding so like I until I I actually for me it started with sales which was like until I made a sale myself like my first per it was a personal training sale I made a personal training sale and it was a $1,300 package and

I was like I'm 21 and I just like I just got $1,300 from words that w came out of my mouth to somebody and I was like oh my God and then I was like I don't I don't need to worry about money again I know how to make money and it was such an empowering feeling but I think that continued at each level right and so it's like okay I know how to make $1,300 do I know how to make $220,000 do I know how to make $50,000 do I know and so at each

time I didn't believe that I was able to until I did but I think that I took the action there's a there's a term that uh I think it's stepen ha point which is like acting the opposite it's like if you want to be the opposite of what you are today act the opposite first right and so I have just continued to use that time and time again which like if I want to be something I don't need to believe that I am first and I don't need to think it uh because that I have

a very hard time doing but I can act as though I am the thing and then work my way into it and so you know when we first started really making a lot of money I kept feeling like when is like where's when's the like where's the like gotcha you know what I mean like I was like when's it all going away or stopping yeah I I remember thinking that was like next like okay I figured out how to do it like but now it's definitely going to stop right like when's when am I going

to look I probably don't know how to use the money I probably don't know where to put the money I probably don't know how to you know make sure the money doesn't like disappear because I didn't understand anything about getting returns and so um for me it was very much I didn't believe it until it occurred and to see it in order to believe it I need to do it yeah do it and then see the results of doing it yeah because I think it's like it's a skill and so do you have confidence before

you have the skill I don't usually feel confident until I'm competent and so until I was competent which I verify by like I learn to be competent at making money and the the measuring stick is I make more money so it's like now I'm competent I see I've made more money confidence comes so it's like the experience built the competence which then led to the confidence for me and then what would shake your confidence today like if you lost a bunch of money or if people you hired stole money from you and then you had

to fire them over and over again or if bad things happen in business or whatever like would it shake your confidence or would it not affect you I'm educated enough now to know that you have to lose money to make money so like you know it's so funny because me and Alex were talking yesterday about something and he's he's counting up every loss we've had this year and I was like look at all the gains yeah I'm I'm so much like with when it comes to money I'm like I I'm just like that's the cost

of it the cost of making money is that you're going to lose some so it's like for me it's like if I want to make $100 million I'm going to lose 10 million if I want to make a billion dollars I'm probably going to lose 50 100 million I don't know now that could be in Lost opportunity that could have been in making the wrong decision that could being in the value of a company but I've just seen that there's a huge correlation with how much you're willing to lose with how much you're willing to

gain because if you're constantly saying I don't want to lose that's where your mind's focused rather than I want to make more I want to expand so it's like yes uh I want to make sure that I'm not being stupid with my money but I don't want to be so focused on not losing money that I'm not ex I'm not opening myself up to the opportunity to make more and so I actually think if I lose money now like I'll give you an example um invested in a company two years ago bad bad investment so

that was like you know close to $10 million just down the drain gone yeah light on fire yeah and I'm just like this company is not what I thought it was I wish I did not buy it it is a thorn in my side plus time energy pulling away from other things yeah and there's not much you can do once you've bought majority of a company so it's a tough situation and every time I'm ring I'm like I don't want to think about it right but I'm like that's I had to pay the price of

losing there to get this huge win over here and I just look at it like that because the same decision- making principles I used to purchase that company I also used to purchase this one and this one is crushing it and so it's like sometimes I think in making money the decision-making formula that we use to make money is good but sometimes the outcome is still not it's just like hiring people sometimes you're going to miss the process stays the same or or maybe you learn a lesson from the process of why it didn't work

and you tweak it for the next process you upgrade the process but the outcome is not always going to be the what you want exactly yeah so I think because you you could have the same process and one company crush and the other one go bankrupt right yeah you can't control human factors or if the CEO quits or whatever it is like the product doesn't work anymore or something like that so yeah I mean there's you know when people when I'm talking to people and I'm like yes you know they're like how do I do

this in a company I'm like well this that and they're like do I have need to understand Finance like that to I'm like yeah I understand Finance it Marketing sales CS this like all of it same goes for investing and there's more and so there's so many things that could go wrong that you know it just it would behoove me to say I made one bad investment I shouldn't try again you know and so I I think one thing that I've always been very good at is like I'm very patient I can lose but I'm

pretty spoton at like where did I where did I fail execution I can tell if it's an execution or strategy issue and so if I've done an investment and I'm like it was just this one thing and I'm like I want to try it again because I know that the strategy is right it was just lost in execution but you're not going to learn that unless you try again what is the biggest lesson you've learned about winning so much over the last couple years that you didn't expect you would learn winning never feels good in

the moment like I think everyone always asked me they're like you know it's funny when we were growing our first business people would come to me and they would say congratulations like you've had such fast growth and I remember I would have this internal like have I because it's been so painful and I think that the reason that winning is not for everybody is because winning is hard and because winning is painful and the entire process up until you win you're doing hard things over and over and over again and so you're constantly in the

state of discomfort that's also why you win is because you're willing to put yourself into that state and so you know upon selling our first business I saw a lot of people and I saw that they didn't have a plan for what they were going to do next and a lot of people who sold their first business they were satiated with that sale they were comfortable enough with whatever it brought them that then they didn't feel like they' to push themselves again and I never wanted to be that person because I'm like I'm not even

30 you know I was 29 when we sold our business 29 and I already had a multi hundred million doll net worth and I'm like people like you take time off you and I was like no what am I I don't really believe in retirement per se like in the traditional sense I was like no I I need to do something else and so what I realized was the reason that so many people um aren't able to win again is because they're not willing to put themselves back into that place that they had to to

win the first time that pain that discomfort pain and I think that you assume that it's going to be easier the second time the thing is and there's a lot of studies um done on this which is like it's not easier you just know what to expect and you have more skills that doesn't mean it feels easier the second time and I will say in doing and scaling very quickly um acquisition. comom it doesn't feel easier I just know what to do this time and what I've had to do in order to keep winning is

I've had to learn to love the process of being uncomfortable and I've always wanted that for myself because growing up I think you know I was in a small town everyone stays there you become a bar Ender a nurse a teacher at the local College whatever and I just looked and everyone's always remaining in their comfort zone and I was like I have to get out of that and so like at a very young age I left home early I moved across the country I said I never want to be that I don't want my

life to be that I want to die with so much potential left inside of me and so for me I think what's made it easy to keep winning and being uncomfortable is the fact that it's not about the business not about making hundreds of millions of dollars like it's like at some point like I don't even spend the money you know I barely do now and so what it is about though is like how can I get to the end of my life knowing that I haven't left potential on the table and that's what I

always tie it to which is like it's not about the money it's about what does Leila look like who is that person that's able to do these things I would like to meet her one day but if I don't get myself to do these things that are uncomfortable then that person I'm never going to meet her what are the things that your future self has that you don't have right now or what is she able to overcome or create or generate you know I think what I've recognized is that what's worked for me in many

ways and in so many situations is I'm very good at structure I build literal infrastructure of a business and in order to do that it's good to have order of things I always say like I manage chaos I don't stop chaos I let it happen but I manage chaos even say like I am a Wrangler of chaos that's what I like tell myself but there's times when trying to put structure in place actually doesn't help and instead I've had to really lean into being flexible rather than rigid and so my journey has been one of

becoming a more flexible person because I heard this quote one time and it was like the most flexible system always wins and I realized that my what would be like my kryptonite was also what my strength was which was like putting order in place so it helped me build my first business and sell it so successfully is there was so much order in there it also can you because when something unexpected happens when this happens like it just took me a little longer to adjust than I would like and I want to be able to

quickly adjust and so it's been this constant journey of uh being able to not react when something unexpected happens but respond very thoughtfully and always ask myself how can I turn this challenge into an opportunity how can I respect myself more by overcoming this challenge not less and that's always led me to making the right decision but it's been the hardest thing for me because I like to have structure I like to have control and it helps me in a lot of ways it also doesn't help me in a lot of ways and so she

is much more flexible so she be she learns to become more flexible than you are today yeah and I think also you know I've recognized like the people I surround myself with what do they have that I really like and admire I often surround myself with people who aren't like me but they're actually opposite of me in many ways and one of those biggest things is more spontaneous and more flexible play fun yeah yeah yeah it's almost like I get to live that out through the people around me when you have losses and wins and

negative thoughts creep up how do you start to reframe those negative thoughts to actually fuel you for success in the future rather than limit you I try to one I expect them negative thoughts negative thoughts doubts doubting myself negative how often do you have negative thoughts more often than the positive one really yeah yeah what are these negative thoughts that you have what are they oh my God thinking what what are you thinking and saying in your mind [Music] um like you're not as good as you think you are you're actually really stupid you don't

work as hard as you think you do maybe it's all going to fail um people don't like you your team doesn't believe in you you know uh I'll I'll make up so many stories in my my brain really yeah and how frequent are those stories daily really yeah but so how do you use them then to to get the success you want I think I've learned to detach from my thoughts so you know I think for a long time trying to suppress them or not focus on them did not help me but detaching from them

and being able to look at them as sentences in my mind rather than commands or facts has helped me understand that if I'm trying to do anything significant with my life I'm going to have negative thoughts come up if I'm trying to do anything new I'm going to have negative thoughts come up because anything new your brain sees as a threat and so it's going to say oh that's scary and new even if it's not bad it's just new and unknown and so we want to prevent you from doing it so let's put these doubtful

thoughts in here so that she doesn't do it because that could risk something so I just expect it as part of the process and I don't try to make it go away I just try to detach from them enough to just take successful actions and that is where I focus the most which is like I just need to be able to detach from my thoughts enough that I can just follow the plan that I had and that's that's honestly it I don't even try to I mean yes I can reframe them I would say like

I can refute them sometimes I look at it like um almost like the thought is on trial like show me the evidence in either direction uh which is like okay cool evidence that could be true evidence that could be false but both of these things are trying to create certainty you know what I mean like we want certainty that our negative thoughts aren't true but what if they are life like certainty is not guaranteed nothing's guaranteed and so for me it's like I actually have even given up trying to find the evidence for a thought

being true or not I'm just like you have no idea maybe it is and maybe the worst thing ever happens you're not going to know unless unless you go forward anyways and it's almost like is this a helpful thought and helping me accomplish my goals right like is it true I don't know maybe but is it useful no well then I'm not going to think about it right right exactly yeah what would you say then is the biggest thing that is holding back young female entrepreneurs today female specifically you know I've never identified as a

female entrepreneur I've just identified as actually a business person you know what's funny I was able to say female because I knew you were going to say this I swear to God I wasn't going to say this but I'm thinking of the only reason I said female and it's so funny you said that because the only reason I'm thinking that is because I feel like some women are going to say that they really relate to you and and how you uh worry about how people judge you or something right and so I was thinking is

that the thing that females have over over male entrepreneurs because I don't think Alex is thinking about oh people judge the way I look I don't think he's worried about that in running a business you know what I mean so I for I knew you going to say this but I feel like women need to need to know or or I feel like you would have a pulse on what maybe women are are experiencing and what's holding them back from being a successful entrepreneur or from the ability to make more money or whatever it might

be so I'm glad you said that it response but hopefully you have another answer I do I do yeah yeah so I was going somewhere with it don't worry okay so the biggest thing that's holding female entrepreneurs back I think the way I viewed it is when I say I've never identified as a female entrepreneur it's because I don't find it useful because then I think of all the reasons why I should act differently than a male entrepreneur and why I should think that the rules of money in business should apply differently to me and

I have played by the rules that I've Just Seen make people successful whether they're a man or a woman um and so that's been really helpful for me but what I think holds a lot of women back back is I think that women have traditionally been conditioned by Society to be valued for other things not making money and I don't think that's bad I also don't think it's bad if you want to make money but I do think that like one thing that I will never be able to rid myself of is that I am

valued for also how I look if I looked like a troll I do not think Alex would marry me for real I don't think he would um that's not bad if he doesn't yeah bad thing women if you look at the most popular women in the World they are usually very attractive a lot of them their women can literally gain status through just being attractive and nothing else right um I'm sure men can too but many more men are valued for money and ability to produce and so I think there's first off women have if

they want to make more money and build a business they also have something other things that take their attention they've been conditioned to also value these things and work to make these things better in their life and I get that um the second piece to it is is um when it comes to what I think holds women back is the fear of being put into one of these boxes that I think like pop culture now does right it's either like you're either like a I don't know because I'm not as connected in pop culture but

I see it's like a lot of women that are like I'm a single female entrepreneur like making money my own like f guys then I see like I'm a business woman I'm all about my business and I'm this and I'm that or then I see like I'm a traditional wife and I have kids and I say and it's like I just say like what if you could just say you're you're an an not an or you don't need to be this or that or that you could be Ant I love to cook for my husband

I also like to run a company that's going to be worth a billion dollars next year can I not make him cookies and run a billion dollar company right and I want to do both and I think that I used to think that I had to pick between those things between being a good wife between being uh you know between my health and and sh and liking to do hair and makeup and between doing business and that actually when in the beginning when I thought that I had to sacrifice being a good wife and you

know caring about what I looked like it made me worse at business because I was suppressing these other pieces of my life that I actually do value and I said why am I suppressing those things and I said well because I'm afraid that men are going to judge me for it well then screw it let them judge me and I do get judged all the time and I'm okay with it it's okay if people don't don't understand me it's okay if they don't understand uh my actual capabilities what I actually do if they think I'm

am all these things I know who I am and on a daily basis I'm with myself at the end of the day and so as long as I'm living my life in accordance with things I value I think that most women just believe that they have to fit in a box of one of these things you're either this girl this girl this girl or this girl that fits in these boxes that you see on social media it's like you could be a little bit of all those things it's like who do you want to be

and I think for me it's I've learned I don't fit in a box and I think a lot of people think I'm one thing or another or they feel confused and that's okay it doesn't matter there it doesn't matter yeah so what doesn't change my life sure from your experience then uh from the challenges you had growing up to where you are now what would you say are three truths that young women need to know about what's holding them back in life in general I think that young women need to main thing holding them back

is their relationship with their emotions really yes there's all think about all the things people say to women about their emotions like oh yeah you're well I mean let's just be real they're like you're on your period of course you're emotional and mean to people and it's it's like we actually give ourselves like a 7-Day pass to be an emotional wreck actually my life changed when I stopped doing that um so it's like the first thing I think is just because you're a woman doesn't mean you cannot regulate your emotions just like anybody else is

it harder yes but then that means you have the chance to get more skills you will be more skilled than the men at regulating your emotions if you learn how to regulate them and so for me I think like learning to manage your emotions and having a good relationship with them not allowing them to dictate your life and how you act and become excuses for why you act out in certain ways like a lot of women you see all the memes and things out there it's like yeah be crazy it's like uh yeah funny but

also like not funny like for me to achieve the goals I have in life and in business I can't have my employees be like yeah be acting crazy right right right they need to respect you and need yeah and nobody wants an unstable leader so like for women to lead it's very hard to be unstable where's in instability come from inability to regulate your emotions and so I think that's the first thing is don't listen to what people say about how you just can't because of your hormones and because of this because you can it

just will be harder what if Lea that people are saying you know well that seems very unapproachable because my body is you know expressing itself to me or I just feel like the world is throwing so much chaos on me that it's impossible to regulate emotions she's out of touch she's got money she's got people that help her with things I don't have that help or that money so it's exhausting to regulate emotions how what would you say to that it is harder for some people than others in might be harder for women it might

be harder when you have less resources is not impossible you have less skills I think it is harder the less skilled you are some people are incredibly skilled and they've learned it from they had great frams growing up they had great mothers they had great fathers to look up to some people didn't and so for those people it's harder it's more exhausting but what would you rather have a life that is perpetually capped by the fact that you can't regulate your emotions or a year of learning that is exhausting but at the end of it

you realize you can achieve your dreams because you learned how to do this you become someone new yeah in that process yeah yeah and I didn't I mean gez I didn't have all the resources I have now when I was learning this and by the way money doesn't help you learn how to regulate your emotions I mean once you have money you've got lawsuits you've got people trying to take your money you've got people trying to steal your money I mean it's just same problems they just look different um and bigger yeah and so so

that's the first that's the first truth that you'd say yeah that's the first truth I would say um what's the second thing that holds women back fear of judgment you know I think so many women I actually I met with um when I first started making content I met with a Creator I'll just say um somebody who many you know quite a famous person who had a wife um who also made content in the space and I said like do you have any advice for me because I I want to make content because I think

that it would help me get the right people on my team I think that it's something I've wanted to do it's like I want to help people avoid the things that I have learned um but like what would you say and this person and one other person that were very large male influencers said the same thing they were like you just can't care so much how you look I was like what do you mean and they're both like you know what stopped my wife is she just won't be recorded without any makeup on and I

was like huh and so you know I thought about that and I really recognize it CU like I like to have my hair and makeup done but I'm not going to make it a necessity to get things done like we do vlogging where it's like you know it's like they're vlogging me and I'm like yeah I do not look good in the and they you still judge yourself though you're still like yeah right but the thing that I've realized is if I act the opposite of that so if I allow people to capture me without

makeup if I don't wear makeup to work every day if I don't do my hair and look perfect every day then the thoughts of judgment start to get less loud and so I think for a lot of women we're so feared we're so fearful of being judged um for not upholding the standards that Society puts on us H and it's not the standards that are the problem it's the fear of the standards and the Judgment that we put on ourselves about them you know men also have standards that they fear to fail or fear that

they're not living up to everyone does um I think that just for women the ones that hold them back are the ones that I look at and I just say like is it making it harder or easier for me to achieve my goals if I judge myself for this and for me usually it makes it harder to achieve my goals if I'm judging myself every moment that I'm on camera every moment that I'm making content because I see those women it's like they can put out a lot less and when you put out a lot

less content and you're not able to show up in front of your team unless you look a certain way and you do all these things well then you get less practice at doing that thing and I think it just all stems from judgment because I mean you would be shocked with the amount of people that are just afraid to be on camera because they don't they're not the exact weight weight that they want they don't look like a thin model they don't look like you know uh what beauty standards are today and that actually stops

women from being in business showing up the way they want you know speaking on stages doing podcasts making content it's just fear of judgment yeah and I think that before you change because maybe you maybe it is good if you lose weight maybe it is good if you you know turn this that but that is separate from the fear of Judgment of others for not being perfect all the time right and the third thing third Truth for women you know I think that it's probably learning that perfect is an impossible task and in trying to

be perfect you're probably much less likable um you know I think for a long time I just tried to be what everybody else wanted to me to be to be perfect in the eyes of everyone like how can I be the perfect leader how can I be the perfect wife how can I be the perfect boss how can I be the perfect friend how can I be the perfect daughter and that led me to be miserable which actually led me to be less liked by everybody because I was just trying to be what everybody else

wanted me to be rather than what I wanted to be right you weren't being authentic to yourself no I'm like maybe I am a bad daughter at times I don't call my dad sometimes for weeks I am a bad friend I'll text my friends back for sometimes a week or two and sometimes I'm like I just don't feel like talking like maybe I am a bad boss because today I canceled my meeting with somebody like I think I've had to accept that at times we are all the opposite of what we want to be and

that's okay and so like the best um advice I can give anyone is like I take that I call the I am bad frame I am bad at times in certain circumstances like at times in certain circumstances I am bad at something or I am a bad wife a bad boss a bad friend and you know and I think for a long time even just saying I'm a bad boss like like Andis reaction because I was just like I put so much pressure on myself to be the perfect boss but the reality is is that

if you want to be great at anything you're going to be imperfect judged and disliked at times yeah and I think specifically for women especially because I think um there's a desire to please people that is very hard for women specifically mhm let's say you got a billion dollars in the bank cash in the bank what is the best use of that money for you what will bring you the most joy and the greatest impact if you're able to generate that much money in in the bank you know I don't know if it would bring

me it would bring me the most Joy I wouldn't say happiness but I would like to make the communities better place I'd like to make the world like more than just business you know and I think um if I had a billion dollars cash in the bank there's a lot that I could do to not just make business better but make the environment in which we do business better um which airs into a side that I don't wish to get into but at some point you know um you can't really fight that there are systems

beyond your control like politics and the community and the government and I would love to help make that entire system better so that things are better not not just for business owners but for people who are just like every day working a 9 to-5 job um because I love helping people build great businesses and I love building a great business and creating a place where people love to work I also just like helping people in general and so at some point you know there was a moment probably about six months ago where I um was

sitting on the couch with Alex and it was like what happens after this you know a decade from now and when you've accomplish all these big goals right and I was like you know it like scares me to say it but like I would like to help more than we help now what that looks like to me is in this way which terrifies me but I also just like look at it I'm like if I have these skills in life to be able to do these things and create this and help people to this degree

then I feel like a responsibility to do something bigger with it because I know that the same skills apply to do things to build great communities to build Great Schools hospitals like all those things yeah you know and and that is something that I would if I were to like I look at it like I want to go down like just like beaten just like a disgusting corpse um fully used up yeah I would like to go down um knowing that I made the world better even Beyond business and that is a way that I

think you know helping the communities like building communities yeah um I think that's how we do it I look at it like we're so isolated now um especially like in America it's like people are so isolated it's like the sense of community even you know taking having a fully remote company to going in person having a headquarters having this huge building it has made my quality of life so much higher and many of the people in it and I see that I'm like how do we create more of that yeah more Community yeah yeah if

you um hypothetical scenario if you were able to be a psychologist detached from yourself but you were looking at yourself as a psychologist M and you were able to analyze your entire life since you know you everything you've been through all the ups and downs every thought every emotion every heartbreak every joy and you're the psychologist what would you say are the the three main things that have built you into becoming the successful person that you are what are the drivers what drives I would say that she has learned to channel her Obsession into something

healthy mhm it's the first one because I'm very obsessive um I think a lot of people like you could consider that in many ways a disorder and I've been diagnosed as such but um I look at it as a superpower and I'm obsessed about things that make my life and other people's lives better MH whereas it may have used to be things that were not productive um I would say this the first one I would say this the second one is resilient I think my ability to bounce back after something really really bad happen happens

is like it doesn't take me long um and it continues to get shorter and shorter so that's say resilience since the second one like can just fail epically and I I can just focus on like let's just try again not going to think about the failure and how bad it hurt and all that like I'm just going to follow the plan and do it again um and I would say the third one is that I'm smart enough to figure out how to make things work but dumb enough to try things like I have a decent

amount of friends who are incredibly intelligent I do not put myself in that camp and they're so intelligent that they paralyze themselves I think I'm just smart enough to make things work but not too smart to not try and Gul them out to be like I can make it happen yeah yeah yeah yeah and I think um yes I would say those are probably the three things uhhuh if that made any sense what's the question you wish more people asked you that they never ask you know I think just in general [Music] um I've enjoyed

this conversation but many conversations that I have when people ask me questions they ask me about my relationship with Alex and about you know being a wife to him and what's he like and what and I love my husband and I love him as a business partner but I genuinely have more interest talking about business um and self-development and personal development then I do what Alex eats for lunch and so you know something that I was talking about yesterday my assistants are like hey this podcast you went I went on podcast like a week ago

and it's like they were like what's it like being with Alex and I was like is this all you think I have to offer you know and so then I was like I wish more people would ask me how to build what I've built and how to become a person who can build it and so I think like very much in line with what you've asked me today as well as like I'm happy to get into like tactical of things as well um more so because I think that that's what I think I offer that's

most valuable to the world and I'm most interested in talking about yeah you know so you wish people to ask less about Alex and more about you yeah and I think you know we've talked about it which is like until I unless I decide to build a company completely auton autonomously on my own I don't think that people are going to know they're going to see me as capable of doing what I've done and I'm okay with that I also don't want to build a compy my own I think that we have what we have

because we created it together we're both really exceptional at what we do so why would I do that just because I want people to see me a certain way right like I don't want to do that you know so um you know he's like my number one supporter and he is like yeah why are people asking you this they tell me it's a waste he's like I would like you to just snap back in these interviews and just be like can you stop asking me about my he said something inappropriate but uh it's all good

yeah um so I think that's something that it's like funny because I think you always think you're getting over it um because you know I wasn't on social media for so long I was internal he's very well spoken very articulate uh he looks how he looks he's so good at all these things he's very smart and so it's like okay what are you a secretary and it's like in the beginning it actually was that right and now it's come very far but it's still uh you know I think people are like oh she must love

talking about what it's like to me married to him no I'm just married to him but like I'm I love business I love personal development I love I love talking about relationships but like what do somebody for lunch you know it's like I'm like I'm good yeah what's he like in the gym yeah what's he do yeah yeah yeah yeah yeah I'm just like this isn't valuable what's the uh you know not to speak about him but I just did interview him before you he says he has he says he has this um more of

a reference to what he's he's talked about he has a i thing called the Solomon yeah Paradox or whatever or he has a conversation with himself at 85 he said it's it's been about five times this year he's had this conversation with his 85-year-old hypothetical self yeah do you ever have a conversation with your older self and ask what do I need to do or what lesson do I need to learn right now to help me get to where I want to be at 85 yeah I would say that it's less my older self but

more I have similar prompts and I think the question that I ask most of the time is I have two questions um one is well okay I have three I'll give you two questions in a frame the two questions are what would I need to do to respect myself more coming out of this situation because for me it's like if I don't have the utmost respect for myself I don't think I can do anything I've done in business I don't think I can show up here I don't think I can show up for my team

I don't think I can show up for my husband I have to respect myself first and foremost that's my priority the second is um which move will make it easier for me to achieve my goals I'm always saying how do I make it easier to achieve my goals how do I make it easier easier easier like it's hard enough to achieve big goals how do I make it easier so those are two questions and then the prompt that I have is not the Solomon um it's actually I look at it like I have my values

right and I look at my values is they are my board of directors and so every time that I'm presented with a decision or a situation it's not what do I want to do it's not what do I feel like doing but it's what decision what action is approved by your board of directors and those board of directors are my values it's almost like what are your values demand of you doing yes and I'm I'm like if there's one thing that I I actually really feel confident in well there's two things one I'm honest like

two AAL I cannot I cannot lie the second is that I absolutely make decisions by my values it can be gut-wrenching it can be I'm up all night sweating it can be but I will make decisions based on my values and that visual has helped me so many times especially in business because you know there's so many deals for example like home across the stable it's like man this company is killing it but I'm like this founder just conf my values yeah and I'm like I don't want to give this person money um what when

did you discover your values and what are those core values for you now you know it's funny um I discovered those values to myself I'm going to say it was when we were selling our first company and I took a lot of time to think about like what are my values right and um I made it Easy by turning those into my company values because I think that it's so silly that we have different values for a company than we would for ourselves but it's like wouldn't you want the values of the company to be

the values of the founder and so the first one's sincere cander which is like being honest um the second one is unimpeachable character being someone that people are proud to associate with on and off the field um meaning for me like my personal life and my business life are in order like me like behind the scenes like doing anything crazy like if I'm going to do something crazy behind the scenes I have to be okay with showing everybody as well like I I just can't I'm not gonna hide stuff um but I don't do anything

crazy because I would like to live in a way that is uh un impeachable and then the third one is competitive greatness competitive greatness competitive greatness I got that from John Wooden um I was a huge fan of the Pyramid of Success I don't know I'm guessing course yeah yeah uh and that is you play the game for the Love of the Game and because you want to be excellent not because you want the outcome and so it's really like falling in love with the process and so it's like every time I make a decision

I'm like does this align with my values and I I try to keep it just with those three because if there's more than three it's very difficult to make decisions quickly when you have like 17 values to yeah yeah yeah that's good you know what I mean sincere cander unimpeachable character competitive greatness yeah that's great yeah I've got a couple final questions for you l this have been powerful I appreciate you yeah um I know you are part of I'm pretty sure you're a part of Alex's book launches too right yeah but you don't have

a book yourself yet no is right are you thinking of writing one in the future or not sure I really want to write one I really don't think a lot of work though yeah I really don't think I have time my current I would to change things significantly um but yeah it's funny because people see book launch they're like wow Alex's book launch like when he did I was like I ran the entire assuming you did ass you did it I literally was I ran his book launch and I was our CFO and the CEO

during his last launch it was the most it was one of the most stressful I actually gave up working out wow so I was like I don't know how to do all this my CFO retired I couldn't get new one I'm already being the CEO which all the Departments roll into me and then he had nobody to run the book launch and I didn't have time to get someone up to speed so I said I will do it wow yeah and so it was uh it was so fun at the same time that's cool yeah

you guys crushed it but are you a part of did you help create the uh scaling course also the free $100 million scaling course oh yes yeah yeah that's both of us okay cool um is that the main thing we' want to send people to today or is there something else besides following you on social media everywhere that we'd want to people too I would say the scaling course or my podcast is prob fine yeah what's the what's your podcast where can people find it build Leo horos build I I don't know is there a

link Apple Spotify YouTube Apple Spotify YouTube Leo horos build that's where I would send it so people can check out your podcast build with Lila horos um social media Lea horos Everywhere YouTube Instagram Etc acquisition. comom if people are interested in learning more about what you guys are up to there that's where they can get the course also the free $100 million scaling course yeah and there's Alex said there's a link there somewhere for it so I'm assuming it'll be on there at acquisition. um this a anything else we can do to be of service

to you today no this is awesome yeah it's a great conversation I got two final questions this is a question I ask everyone at the end it's called the three truths so imagine hypothetical scenario you get to live as long as you want on this Earth but it's the last day and you get to accomplish all of your wildest dreams these 10 goals and you blow through those in the next 20 50 year goals they all happen M but for whatever reason in this hypothetical scenario all of your rants on your podcast are deleted this

content is gone every piece of content you've ever put out we don't have access to so we don't have your information anymore of what you've shared but on the last day Lea you get to leave behind three lessons to the world and this is all we would have to remember you by your content what would those three lessons be for you the first would be success is available to anybody willing to take successful actions you don't have to believe that you're Su you're going to be successful to have success you just have to take action

as if you will be that would be the first one the second one would be you don't ever really feel better but you get better at feeling bad I like to always say that I'm pretty dang good at feeling awful I like that I think it's the skill and then the last one I think if you want to win big you have to be willing to lose big I think if you want to love big you have to be willing to have your heartbroken and I think that if you want to have a really big

life you have to be willing to just take a lot of losses in general yeah and it's just been the case in my life which is just you it's so hard to access the really big expansion in life if you're not willing if you're not willing to lose yeah in all scenarios those are good truths I like those thank you uh before I ask the final question Le I want to acknowledge you for I I just don't think I've seen this type of content from you and I want to acknowledge you for leaning into this

and and expressing in this way because I think it's actually going to help a lot more people than you think and whether millions of people watch this or hundreds of people the people that watch and listen are going to be deeply impacted for a long time because of what you said today because I think people see you or perceive you in a certain way and what you shared today just you showed people a different side of you I think that is going to give people a lot more hope in order to overcome certain pains and

challenges they have in their life right now and hopefully just getting into taking the actions the successful actions so they can become more successful and not allowing their negative thoughts of their emotions to consume their life and think they're not worthy of accomplishing what they want so I want to acknowledge you for opening up and sharing and and also for being on your own Journey at 32 I think you said I think you're were allowed to talk about your age but at 32 yeah right just being able to um navigate and manage it all so

um harmoniously all the the business the judge the pressure the media it's like you got a lot going on and seeing you navigate it imperfectly but smoothly at the same time it's really beautiful to watch so I acknowledge you for that thank you and um excited to see what you create not only in the next few years but these 10year goals that I've got written down so want to keep in track and see what happens um my final question Lea what's your definition of greatness leaving no potential on the table there you go thanks for

being here later appreciate it thank you so much for being here I hope you got some value from this episode as much as I did if you did please do me a favor and click the like button right now if you like this it's going to help share it out into the YouTube world even more for us please click that like button and leave a comment below on your biggest takeaway or if you have any questions that you want me to follow up with also subscribe to our Channel because when you do you help us

book even bigger guests and I want you to have the best information out there in the world because that's what the school of greatness is all about so make sure to subscribe right now like this video share a comment below on your biggest takeaway and also I've got some big news a new book if you're looking to create Financial Freedom in your life and you want more abundance and you want a richer life then make sure to check out my new book make money easy I think you're going to love this and it's all about

creating Financial Freedom the link is below in the description or you can go to makemoney ebook.com and check it out um he always would say protect the thing that allows you to do only what you can do and I think might say repeat but it was basically protect the thing that allows you to do what you do every day that one thing that only you can do protect that thing um and those were two like they're very very Exel