Why It Sucked to Be Born as a T-Rex

it's the mesoa Gara 65 million years before any human will ever walk the earth you've just cracked out of your egg in a very shallow hole you Devour the Triceratops leg your mom left you and waddling around looking for her you find a lush dinosaur Paradise where all dinosaurs coexist peacefully with each other just kidding it's more like The Hunger Games on steroids out here you hear high pitched streaks and ferocious Roars echo in the distance not taking any chances you jump back into the hole and hide behind your siblings because hey if anything's going

to get eaten first it'll be steeve that was probably your mom enjoying a snack of her own because if there's one thing she's good at it's parenting other dinosaurs straight into Extinction the harsh truth is you're now faced with only two options survive or be food because here on the ground everything that's bigger than you either wants to crush you take a bite out of you or swallow you whole it's like a giant prehistoric buffet and you're on the menu luckily that little Dino your cannibalistic mom just devoured wasn't your sibling your sibling is still

intact here's the game plan for the next few weeks hide scavenge and don't die your meals pretty much whatever doesn't try to eat you first not exactly Michel and star options but hey beggar can't be choosers lucky for you you do have some tricks up your tiny sleeves to try and make this work your massive eyes give you binocular vision helping you spot any sudden movement from prey your long legs and big feet let you Dart and swerve around bushes faster than most Predators your sharp baby teeth paired with a bite force of almost 6,000

Newtons are perfect for tearing into your prey one bite and you'd slice through them like a hot knife through butter except the butter is screaming for their life oh you also have Arms by the end of the week you've basically become a stealthy mini ninja your parents still bring you back the occasional lizard but for the most part it's up to you to survive it's your 13th birthday honestly didn't think you'd make it this far and you're now officially a T-Rex teenager your muscles bulk up like your Arnold training for the next Mr Olympia you've

now grown 25 ft about as tall as a one-story house and weighing in at a whopping two tons you are basically the High School linebacker of the Mesozoic World nice your speed now reaches up to 20 mph it's still not as fast as Usain Bolt but thankfully he doesn't exist yet you've also found yourself a healthier diet decapitating your victims to access the yummy more nutritious Parts behind their head that's when you spot something in the distance it's a lone Triceratops grazing along the water a juvenile silently you sneak close enough to see its horns

twist as it turns around just in time to see you launch from the Shadows the Triceratops struggles your jaws snap its neck like a Rice Krispy treat as you devour your meal you make this your daily routine roaming hunting eating and sleeping until finally at around 20 years old you are now an adult t-rex with only about 8 more years to live you start to realize that life as an apex predator can get pretty lonely and the thought of sharing your glorious existence with someone else becomes very appealing to you so you set off on

your quest in search of your soulmate your first challenge is competition you quickly learn that The Mating Game isn't just about who's the biggest and baddest it's also about strategy charm and even some theatrics you walk towards the local Watering Hole where the females gather and that's when you spot her a stunning female t-rex with scales that glisten in the sun she's Fierce and confident and you can't help but stare so here's the plan you're going to put on a show make it dramatic show off your hunting skills and Agility first by challenging the smaller

dinosaurs you take down the hadrosaur and let out a triumphant Roar once you're done you want to catch her attention but more importantly you want to send a message to all the other dinosaurs that want her too the female T-Rex watches your display a little intrigued but wait don't get too excited yet your worse seems to have attracted other sorts of attention too a Fierce and angry adult T-Rex is also looking at you it seems you've crossed into his territory you you really should have checked where you were before you started your performance the ground

Shakes as the two of you Clash fighting tooth and nail to get the upper hand this is a showdown that would determine the next ruler of this Valley and who gets the girl you dodge your opponent's powerful jaws and counter with a quick swipe of your tail the other dinosaurs watch in awe as you emerge Victorious and you turn to see the female looking at you with a newfound respect you've definitely CAU her eye now you offer her part of your hadrosaur fee and she accepts the offering congratulations you've got yourself a mate here's the

thing though finding a mate is only half of what's to come T-Rex life hits hard when you're suddenly faced with parenting you stand protectively over your very own shallow hole and clutch of eggs you and your mate take turns guarding the nest warding off any potential threats like Scavenging Raptors or pterodactyls that think they can snatch your babies four months of restless nights later your eggs begin to crack and the sounds of hatchlings emerge you can't help but feel a surge of Pride each little T-Rex that breaks free is a testament to your hard work

and determination the world is not kind to the young you know that firsthand these little babies are part of you but they're also about as helpless as a cow at a dance off you're going to need to give them guidance protection and probably a crash course in survival at first you do your best bringing them back the occasional lizard but eventually they'll have to figure things out on their own if they want to live so now it's up to Nature to run its course seasons pass and you've become recognized in the region the younger dinosaurs

whispered tales of the Fearsome T-Rex the prehistoric Baba Yaga you've covered out a space for yourself a domain where you rule without challenge life is good but then the years begin to take their toll you're not the spry quick hatchling any anymore you've grown larger wiser but also a bit slower the other T-Rexes around you the younger ones eye you with a mix of respect and something else ambition they're hungry for power and as you age the instinct to dominate begins to WAN you find yourself more content to rest in the sun basking in the

glory of your past hunts it's time again to assert dominance you rise your massive body blocking the Sun let out a mighty roar sound that Echoes through the valley the young T-Rex steps forward it's a roar of echoing back at you it's a challenge louder fiercer full of raw arrogance for a moment you think about how easily you could crush this little upstart and the problem would be solved you spent your whole life fighting for dominance battling for territory throwing down with anyone who dared to challenge you but as you stare down at your opponent

something shifts this time was different as the young T-Rex charges at you you feel your muscles ache and your mind heavy you realize that The Thrill Is Gone you've been here before over and over maybe you're just tired tired of the constant fight the endless noise the same routine of proving you're the biggest and the strongest you lower your head the adrenaline Fades maybe it's time to step down the world's ready for a new king huh oh for [ __ ] sake