The Rise of Very Demure and Mindful Men - A History of Dating

a man can be below bare mineral effort today but he doesn't have to be tomorrow okay he can be entitled today but he doesn't have to be tomorrow while we are strategizing in what seems to be the bleakest of times we are hoping for and creating a better world a better future speaking of a better future it seems like it's almost here the men are waking up very considerate very clean very demor I'm not like these other husbands very demure very custom I'm not like these other husband husband she says to get it done I get it done without complaining I'm very considerate with my slices very considerate with my cooking I say yes ma'am I'm very respectful I want to pinpoint exactly when the picnic of women happened and now that women are able to own and produce resources we are much better poised to undo this pikn ification and reset the dating market and make men Pik mes again hey bestie welcome to the spoiled gly support group podcast where we talk about how to get that bag while also securing your own bag I'm your host L and let's get into it on today's episode we are talking about the rise of very Demir and very mindful men and today's conversation wouldn't be complete without talking about the history of courtship and dating so we can figure out exactly how we got here how we got to the rise of very Demir and very mindful men now I know there's been a lot of negativity when it comes to dating and men in general so I wanted to take today today's class in a more positive direction because I feel like people don't believe me whenever I say that I love good men in the spoiled girly support group we love good men and it's probably because we don't talk about Good Men enough so I think it's time to set the records straight that in the spoiled girly support group we love good men we were raised by Good Men We are surrounded by good men like good men are all that exists in our reality so I wanted to talk about the examples of good men that exist and it may seem like there's not a lot of them nowadays and we've already talked about it in a past class the good men are offline okay the good men are offline they're not online spreading their hate and their bitterness at women like they're just not okay like why do you expect to find good men in a hate filled comment section in hate filled online groups okay so make it make sense and I also wanted to take today's class to explore exactly when the con of women having to be pikm for men auditioning for men started because how did we go from being the literal Gatekeepers of Life of humanity into fighting over men devaluing ourselves and lowering our standards to Earth's crust levels just to allow men to access Us and how can we recover from that so today we're going to explore how we can cure the pikney disease because I don't know about you but I am ready to make men pikmy again now we have a lot to cover but before we get into it I need you to hit the like subscribe and the notification Bell so you never miss a spoiled girly episode with that being said let's get into it okay so let's talk about the rise of very Demir and very mindful men and I can't do that without giving credit to Jules LeBron who coined the term very Demir and very mindful she basically does a series of videos talking about the very Demir and very mindful literally Common Sense etiquette that everyone should know so she went viral and the term spawned a bunch of videos of people talking about their own very Demir and very mindful Behavior you see how I do my makeup for work very demure very mindful I don't come to work with a green cut crease don't look like a clown when I go to work I don't do too much I'm very mindful while I'm at work see how I look very presentable the way I came to the interview is the way I go to the job and okay I am obsessed with this trend because I'm here for it okay I am here for the demere and mindful content because as much as I love me a good feral era uh it is much easier to exist in society when everyone is mostly Demir and mindful so I'm all for this okay and it was just a cutesy deiry trend and then men started hopping on it and for once okay for once it's actually a good thing so let's get into it what did you say do you see how I'm pumping in gas my wife doesn't have to tomorrow very thoughtful very mindful very do you see how I'm holding the gas nozzle so my wife doesn't have to get her hand sturing very considerate very clean very deor I'm not like these other husbands do you see how I'm opening the door for my wife very respectful very cut see very deor I love seeing women win and we've already talked about this in past classes all these videos may or may not be 100% accurate they may not be real but just because it's not real doesn't mean it's not useful okay so today's class is a rewiring Class A resetting class like we got to reset ourselves to our factory settings okay it is to alleviate the pessimism that we've been getting into because yes there are plenty of Bad Men okay they're all over the news there are plenty of below bare minimal effort men men asterisk and while we are strategizing on how to avoid them in real time we can't forget that good men exist good people exist call me an optimist but I still believe that most people are inherently good up until Society corrupts them into becoming otherwise so yeah it's good to do a mental reset a mental rewiring now and then because it really grounds you and helps you move through the world with fresh eyes and an open heart speaking of grounding yourself let's talk about today's sponsor better help if you've been in the spoiled girlly support group you know how much I support people getting therapy and I practice what I preach okay I've sought therapy on and off throughout the years and earlier this year I signed up with better help I have had an amazing experience with my therapist shout out to my therapist through better help and ever since then I have recommended better help to my friends and family and because I've had such a great experience I was so excited when betterhelp wanted to work together betterhelp is a platform where therapists and their clients can communicate effectively and get the most out of therapy there's a journal inside the platform for personal reflection and there are group sessions on a number of different topics available every day the way that better help makes finding a licensed qualified and aligned therapist is unmatched just fill out a questionnaire and you will match with a therapist in as little as a couple days and if you don't Vibe with your current therapist say less they'll match you with a new therapist no questions asked it is so nice to have a safe space to talk and get guided help from an expert whenever I'm feeling stuck or just overcome with emotion that it's keeping me from being my best self and living my best life like that's not a Vibe so if you're struggling and think you'd benefit from a therapy session click the link in the description or go to betterhelp. com manifest L and get 10% off your first month of therapy that's betterhelp. com manifest L to get 10% off your first month of therapy now back to the topic so let's keep watching very Demir and very mindful men you see how I cover this ugly popcorn ceiling with fine cedar because my wife asked me to very demure very custom I'm not like these other husbands she says to get it done I get it done without complaining do it myself and do it well custom cuts got to go around the AC unit she even puts qy Clips in my hair to keep my hair out of my way when I'm running the saw very Demir very safe very cutesy see I do this Tik Tock Trend because my wife asked me to without complaining even though I'm in the middle of my project very deor very classy very mindful husbands remember be demure look at this man he's building something all on his own he didn't need her to build with him very Demir very mindful very independent he didn't need anyone to build with me he wasn't saying oh why are you filming why don't you build with me next I said look at how I'm cutting these slices these potatoes for my wife very demure very cutesy I'm mindful of small Cuts I am not like these other husbands when I cook for my wife I'm very considerate with my slices very considerate with my cooking for my wife very demure very de very cut these potatoes specifically chosen very demor for my wife very considerate as a husband very mindful very I'm mindful of what she wants and what she needs very cutesy very deuty you know that was very Demir and very mindful me and plaus love that love you see how I open the door for my wife very demure do you see how I rub my wife's feet when she asks without complaining very modest very cutesy you see how I make my wife's late night snack I say yes ma'am I'm very respectful I cut it up into pieces not too big not too small I'm very mindful I'm very demure I love this trend I can't I can't see how I let my wife sleep in in the morning very demure very mindful I'm not like these other husbands I don't Clank around in the morning trying to wake her up making noise I don't do too much I'm very cutesy with it now I'm going to go make her some coffee very considerate be mindful why she married you exactly be mindful why she married you let's get into the comments the guide Demir vids are warming my whole heart mine too honestly like I love seeing this like I love seeing positive behavior I love seeing women win like love that for them just eat it up someone said I show up to the job how I showed up to the interview is great marriage advice I love that line how I show up to the job is how I show up to the interview because let's talk about it like people will lie about everything to get the job and then when you're situated they switch up on you like one question I always get asked is about love bombing like how do you distinguish between love bombing and just good treatment and I can't really fully explain it other than use your discernment okay and then I saw this post on Instagram and and it basically said that love bombing doesn't work on me because I leave the moment it stops and I'm like that's so true and also love bombing wouldn't work on me because I would just think that it's normal like I wouldn't be able to tell you know like for some people like love bombing is basically normal behavior that a woman should expect from a man like what do you mean this isn't what women should get when they're dating like this is normal like love bombing would it work on me because it's normal like this is exactly how I should be treated all the time so when you surround yourself with people who love you first of all when you love yourself and then you surround yourself with people who love you a man showing you love in the initial dating stages is normal okay like it's not this whole extra ordinary magical thing it's not a whole new world it's not that like it's normal okay so the moment that the positive treatment at that level stops you get the ick you stop engaging as well because let's talk about it love bombing only works if you fall in love so don't as humans yeah like we have these physical attachments to people like our chemistry reacts a certain way when they're around but that's not love that's infatuation okay that's a response to stimulus and when we keep exposing ourselves to these people and getting that chemical response we associate that person with that chemical response like we literally get hooked on them like they're a I guess I can say that like they're a substance okay because they stimulated our pleasure Pathways and they've literally become a substance that we're hooked on so when they leave we feel like absolute crap like we go through withdrawal like we have a cown and it's because the source of the Rush of our feel-good endorphins is gone so falling in love is basically our body betraying us and love bombers know that they're like shady dealers you know like they get you hooked on freebies you get hooked and then you keep coming back that's literally what love bombing is so how do you know if it's love bombing or it's just plain good treatment number one see how long it lasts and number two see how the women in his circles are treated okay like if they're treated like crap like that's your future okay you're not special you're not the exception to the rule like look at the women around him are they stressed are they hating life or are they glowing vibing and thriving okay and number three just be in your discernment okay like we could come up with all these Rule books and blueprints and stuff like no like just use your discernment okay you'll know now speaking of men treating women well let's talk about the history of dating which is actually a history of courtship because apparently courtship came before dating because dating is actually a very new thing so if you're having trouble navigating dating like take it easier on yourself okay give yourself some Grace because we're new to this this is new new okay so we can't have figured it out and also I wanted to get into the history of courtship and dating because I wanted to pinpoint exactly when the pikm ification of women happened and now that women are able to own and produce resources we are much better poised to undo this pikm ification and reset the dating market and make men pikm again with all that being said let's get into the history of courtship first what even is courtship courtship is the period where in some couples get to know each other prior to a possible marriage or committed romantic de facto relationship courtship traditionally May begin after a betral and may conclude with a celebration of marriage a courtship may be an informal and Private Matter between two people or maybe a public Affair or a formal arrangement with family approval traditionally in the case of a formal engagement it is the role of a male to actively court or woo a female thus encouraging her her to understand him and her receptiveness to a marriage proposal basically before dating came about in the late 1800s to early 1900s the progression to marriage went like this it's betral to courtship to marriage and dating came about during the turn of the century and became an added layer between courtship and marriage and we also have to take into account that a lot of women didn't have the luxury of choosing so for many women it was betral than marriage completely by bypassing courtship and or dating and perhaps one of the oldest examples of courtship can be found in the Bible in the Book of Genesis Jacob loved Rachel and he said to her father I will serve you seven years for your younger daughter Rachel lobin the father said it is better that I give her to you than that I should give her to any other man stay with me so Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seem to him but a few days because of the love he had for her and here's the tea lobin the dad he gives gives Jacob Leah instead Leah is Rachel's older sister and so Jacob worked another s years to finally get married to Rachel it was this whole thing and it really sets the stage for the courtship model that we see today where a man Works to gain the favor of a woman's father and in societies where women are more free the man Works to gain the favor of the woman herself Jacob literally worked 14 years to get Rachel's hand in marriage so what did this man do for you okay historically men have been the pigmies for women it's because biologically female reproduction is so much more costly than the male version women get pregnant women give birth women breastfeed and women rear babies and plenty of women die doing that and if a woman survives all of that from getting pregnant to rearing a baby all of that happens in about 1 year plus so contrast that with men being able to fertilize eggs minimum once a day and and being able to just walk away and while women are doing all of that plus running the risk of literally dying to ensure the survival of the species men are supposed to theoretically support women through all of that like that's their job is the least they could do so this biologically imposed scarcity is why men perform for women why historically men have been the pigmies for women and so this explains the biological pikm ification of men so speaking of men being pikmy for Wom women let's talk about courtship even more pre 1100s marriages were mostly set up by parents or older relatives it wasn't really about love it was more about keeping the family Legacy going ensuring Financial Security or making political connections and because of this there wasn't much of a need for a dating phase like we think of it today marriage was more of a formal long-term agreement recognized by the community and it usually involved a man and a woman and often have like a transactional Vibe wives were sometimes seen as property transferred from their father to their husband mainly for the purpose of having children Society put a lot of pressure on people to pair up and marriages were seen as a way to keep the peace because if there's a woman available like the man can keep their heads on straight and they cause conflict within Society so Society really wanted women off limits and married off so for most of human history and even into the Middle Ages in Europe marriage was basically a business deal between fam Ames romance or love matches as we know it today was more of a secret side thing it happened outside of marriage in secret like lowkey meetups in a 12th century book The Art of courtly love it even claimed that true love can't exist between husband and wife back then sneaky meetups between men and women usually outside of marriage or before tying the KN we're kind of like the early version of what we would Now call dating essentially romance love matches love it wasn't a thing starting around the 1700s there was a global shift towards empowering individuals leading to more freedom and equality especially for women men and women started becoming more equal in politics Money Matters and social status and this reminds me of this post that I saw about the 18th century aka the 1700s if you asked me what I thought about the 18th century I'd say it was the last time the human imagination was free from the constraints of rationalism and positivism when a woman could say she'd given birth to rabbits and people would believe her it was the last time men and women weren't seen as two incommensurate Sexes a time before women were completely set apart in a private sphere It produced the campiest most experimental and funniest literature we've ever seen it's a time when art and architecture echoed the classics while promising a bright future it was the age when some of our most useful institutions libraries museums the Postal Service came into being a time when women supported themselves with their writing and the age when feminism as we know it was born it's saw the rise of the novel and end of the great epic poetry it was the age of revolutions when the French Americans and Haitians showed that monarchy and slavery based colonialism wasn't the only way Society could function it was when the modern world as we know it began to take shapee but before industrialization turned people into machines and the environment into a wasteland for humans overc consumption a time when craftsmanship ensured long- Lasting products and it had the best fashion and I and I never really got the obsession with 18th century everything until this post like that's why like Marie Antoinette sopia Copa like that aesthetic is so pervasive like I get it now because of this post like mind blown like someone just had to tell me that now all these changes in the 1700s really Shook Up relationships people had more of a say over who they married when and whether they married at all and at first courtship was pretty formal like with young women hosting gentleman callers at home always with a chapero nearby and the most immediate example of this is in the Netflix TV show Bridgerton and in the show we see the debutant season and it's basically a social competition for marriage it's a fancy Whirlwind time filled with balls Garden parties and tons of drama and the show also had a heavy emphasis on how much reputation and public opinion matter in the courtship game with families constantly negotiating who their daughters will end up with almost like it was a business deal in short courtship was a lot more formal and structur than dating today like it's not swiping left or right going all these dates it was all about social class family connections and keeping up appearances while today love and personal connection are front and center in the 18th century getting married was mostly about securing your place in society finding Financial stability and making good family alliances and the rules were strict especially for women who had to follow all these social norms to keep their reputation and their chances of Landing a good match intact now I want to hold pause here because here we see how women are performing for men for the male gaze for male approval and this is because in the 1700s although it was a time of change life for women was full of restrictions especially when it came to money and property unlike today women in most parts of the world didn't have the legal right to own property or handle their finances independently that meant that for many women finding a husband wasn't just about love or compatibility or companionship it was essential for their security and survival marriage was often the only way for a woman to have a stable life access wealth or even have a say in her own household and if you've watch Bridgerton although it is said in the early 1800s I know Penelope's family is plagued by this problem of women being unable to hold property like it was such a huge issue and the only way they could keep themselves from being homeless and destitute was to get married and even when they got married the daughter still had to produce a male air now why are we talking about this and why is it crucial to the social pmic of women versus the biological pmic of men it's because at this point in time men when applies the access to and production of resources women didn't have a choice but to attach themselves to men for survival women whether single or married were considered legally dependent on their closest male relatives like their fathers brothers or husbands and if a woman was single her father or her male Guardian usually managed her finances but if she married everything she owned or might inherit legally belong to her husband and there's a legal term for this okay it's called coverture coverture is the legal framework that meant that a married woman couldn't own property enter into contracts or Sue anyone in her own right she was seen as part of her husband's identity and not as a person with independent legal standing and because of these laws finding a husband became crucial for most women and this led to the rise of the society pikm ification of women without the ability to own property or earn a stable income a woman's Financial Security depended on marriage if a woman remained single she had very few options she might be seen as a burden to her family or if she had no male relatives she could be left in a very vulnerable position widows could inherit some property but even then their rights were very limited and many would be pressured to remarry quickly to secure their status long story short courtship in the 1700s was kind of like playing a high stakes game with a lot of rules it wasn't about falling in love the way we think of it today it was more about making the Right Moves for your family for your future and your social standing families were deeply involved and every step of the way had to be carefully planned out and despite all these rules it was the way to find love or at least a suitable match in a time when reputation and Status were everything and another example is Hamilton the musical which is set in the late 1700s to early 1800s in the music IAL Alexander Hamilton and his wife's sister Angelica Skyler I know it's t his wife's sister in the musical it was clear that Alexander and Angelica had chemistry going on like they meet for the first time there was tension there were Sparks there was intellectual sparring there was banter like they were a match for each other in Angelica's words the conversation lasted 2 minutes maybe three minutes everything was said in total agreement it's a dream it's a bit of a dance a bit of a posture it's a bit of a stance he's a bit of a flirt but I'm going give it a chance but Angelica eldest daughter core she saw that her younger sister Eliza thought Alexander was cute and she was enamored with him so Angelica relented and let Eliza fall in love with Alexander and there's this whole song entitled satisfied that she dedicated to explaining her decision to not pursue a relationship with Alexander she sings that she realized three fundamental truths at the exact same time number one I'm a girl in a world in which my only job is to marry Rich my father has no son so I'm the one who has a social CL for one so the oldest and the wittiest and the gossip in New York City is Insidious and Alexander's pennyless doesn't mean I love him any less and I mean she ate with that okay and number two he's after me cuz I'm a scholar sister that that aside have to be naive to set that aside maybe that is why I mean was she wrong though and if you're not into history or into Hamilton The Scholar sisters were very very very wealthy and what do we say men are the original gold diggers and that's okay like I just want to be clear on that so whenever you're accused of being a gold digger you'd Flinch a little less you know now back to the topic the third reason is Angelica saw her sister Eliza fall in love with him so she let her have him so this was the vibe of 1700's courtship it wasn't motivated by love it was motivated by survival now we're getting into the 1800s the 1800s courtship culture saw more freedom compared to the 1700s there's still a pressure to secure a good match and marriage is still largely a business Affair by the early 19th century courtship began to focus more on personal compatibility and actual feelings people started to believe that love should have a bigger role in choosing a partner and the idea that you could marry for love instead of just social status or family pressure started to gain some ground and people are starting to think like maybe we should like each other too like maybe we should love the person that we're going to spend the rest of our lives with like just throwing it out there crazy idea speaking of love love letters actually started in the 1700s and they were still popular in the late 1800s but there were a lot more social events where people could actually interact and get to know each other and this was also the era of the great ballrooms and endless dance cards there were still rules like always being chaperon but the ballrooms were a bit more relaxed and there was more of a focus on genuine connection and this time women had a little more say in the matter and flirting became more of an art while you still had to be careful not to cross any lines because gossip was very big there was more room to get to know each other through social events parties and outings now this is where things change a lot the late 1800s was when dating became a thing courtship was beginning to happen outside of the home in more public places instead of only having chaperon visits or more formal dances couples started going out in public together and it was still very proper and respectable but it was the beginning of dating things like promenades in the park you want a prominade attending a theater or going for a ride were becoming more common and this was huge because this was this is revolutionary okay and it meant that people were starting to think of courtship as something more personal and less strictly about following the family Rules now by the end of the 1800s the idea of marrying for love was much more accepted it wasn't like the main thing but it was more accepted people started to see marriage as a partnership and not just a business deal and women had slightly more freedom to make their own choices emphasis on slightly because Society wasn't the way it is now but at least it was becoming more about personal connection and less about just finding the best match for money and Status so let's get into the 1900s one of the biggest shifts from the 1800s to the 1900s was the growing independence of women as women begin to gain more rights like the right to vote to own property and work outside the home they also started to have more say in their love lives shocker women weren't just waiting around for a man anymore they were out there making their own choices about who they wanted to date basically with women's regained freedom because remember we had all of this before when we were living in matrilineal societies before patriarchy came about so because of this regained Freedom women are now reversing their societal picmicro 20s with the jazz clubs flapper fashion and like the wild parties it made dating a lot more social and more fun couples were more likely to go out for a good time rather than just get to know each other for marriage and the idea of dating around became more accepted and people started to see dating as something you did to have fun and explore different relationships before settling down by the 1950s the concept of the date night was in full swing so going out to the movies grabbing a milkshake at the diner or cruising around in the car these were all popular date ideas this was the era of the high school romances and Young Love dating was still about finding the one but there was more emphasis on having fun together and also thanks to the economic boom after World War II more people had the money and freedom to go out and enjoy themselves during this time dating was also heavily influenced by the media so Hollywood movies and TV shows they romanticized the idea of dating as a key part of life couples were often portrayed as the ideal team so like think of the classic going steady phrase which meant you were officially a couple and off the market whereas before you literally were single until you were married then came the 1960s and 1970s and everything started to change the schmeal revolution the rise of feminism and counterculture movement flipped traditional dating Norms on their head people started questioning the old school rules of dating and relationship and the idea of free love emerged meaning that people were more open to exploring different types of relationships without necessarily tying the knot during these decades the focus shifted from finding a marriage partner to finding yourself and what you really wanted in a relationship there was more openness about premarital schmecks living together before marriage and even experimenting with non-traditional relationship structures this era was all about breaking boundaries and discovering new ways to connect with others now I have beef with this era of dating because instead of women finding true Freedom true Liberation during this time of Revolution this Revolution was co-opted by people for their own benefit this was the time when women started going from private property to public property and at the time for the women it was probably liberating but now looking back it was looking like it was another way for men to secure access to women's bodies to the detriment of these women I mean and we've already talked about this in a past class so now let's move on to the 1990s the 1990s brought even more changes thanks to the rise of Technology the internet started to become a thing and with it came a whole new world of dating possibilities email chat rooms and instant messaging made it easier for people to connect even if they were miles apart online dating sites like match.

com launched in the mid99s and suddenly you could meet someone without ever leaving your house and by the 2000s online dating had gone mainstream and with the rise of smartphones dating apps like Tinder changed the game completely and now finding a date was as easy as a swipe on your phone the rules of courtship had completely shifted and dating was faster more casual and definitely more varied whether you're looking for a serious relationhip or just a fun night out there's an app for that as Steve Jobs said there's an app for that and at the same time social media also started to play a huge role in dating so platforms like Myspace and Facebook became new ways to meet people check out potential dates and even flirt so posting the perfect selfie or sending a cute DM became part of the modern dating ritual and speaking of social media let's get into the 2010s the 2010s brought the dating game to a whole new level with the rise of dating apps so Tinder launched in 2012 and totally revolutionized how people dated suddenly finding a date was as easy as swiping right dating apps made everything quicker more Visual and more fun depending on who you ask no more long profiles or endless questionnaires you just need a picture a few lines and a quick decision and it's Love at First swipe theoretically but Tinder was just the beginning so soon there were apps for everyone Bumble where women make the first move hinch which promised to be designed to be deleted debatable because it focused on meaningful connections and Niche apps for every interest community and preference it became all about options and there were plenty of options with all these apps dating became a lot more casual and diverse so people started dating multiple people at once going on more first dates and exploring different types of relationships it was less about finding the one immediately and more about seeing what was out there and now in 2024 we are seeing the detrimental effects of these dating apps on women and we already talked about this in a past class so check it out if you missed it but they're not it anymore women are swearing them off on masks and to add to that we are now seeing a drop in birth rates marriage rates women are joining all these movements wearing off men so what went wrong in modern dating and courtship well what went wrong in modern dating and courtship was what went right for women on top of us living in what some people would call late stage capitalism which hot take is literally just capitalism women are well aware of the economic pressures of living in society as a single woman as a married couple as parents to children as you progress through those stages of life it gets even more and more expensive and on top of that women are increasingly getting more educated and wealthier and can now afford to be choosier and hold off from choosing for a longer time and because women are now choosier a lot of men are not getting chosen a lot of men are not getting picked and for a lot of women who quote unquote date down they are finding that the men just don't appreciate them or are resentful of them being more economically prolific and so these men seek to Humble them or disrespect them and hurt them and sometimes even un alive them and overall just bring their quality of life down and so the women are now learning to stay single and not date down the economic ladder and so all the disrespectful and overtly misogynistic Behavior we are seeing in real life and in media is what some psychologists would call the extinction burst of unpicked men but first what is an Extinction burst an Extinction burst is a sudden and dramatic increase in behavior when reinforcement for that behavior has been removed it is a temporary response pattern and will diminish and then stop as the reinforcement for the behavior no longer follows the voluntary action so for the longest time by monopolizing and gatekeeping resources keeping women from voting from owning anything from being educated men have been conditioned to be entitled to women and women have been condition to be pigmies for men I. E the societal pikm ification of women so when women started to gain rights to own things to be educated to work to control their own reproduction the socialization of men has not kept up with the times men have not kept up with The Times They still have this entitlement towards women in a world that ignores this entitlement and instead of adapting these men they're doubling down on the entitled behavior and this is best exemplified in men's weaponized incompetence women are largely becoming independent of men but men are still largely dependent on the unpaid domestic labor of women and so they double down on their dependence they do things wrong on purpose they mess things up every single time they weaponize their incompetence so they can get out of unpaid domestic labor and they are disrespecting women even more they are scamming women even more they're hurting women even more they're unal living women even more this is textbook Extinction burst and I get so many comments about why the term below bare Millow effort man is so long like can't I come up with like a shorter term but that is the term for it because I believe that it is a reversible condition below bare minimum low effort it's all about effort a man can be below bare minimum effort today but he doesn't have to be tomorrow okay he can be entitled today but he doesn't have to be tomorrow okay see like I'm not into this whole nihilistic pessimistic Vibe like The Vibes are great here because while we are strateg izing in what seems to be the bleakest of times we are hoping for and creating a better world a better future speaking of a better future it seems like it's almost here the men are waking up a message to men who are struggling with relationships don't panic men have been adapting since the beginning of time it's in your genes so it's a natural process all your male ancestors are proof that you can adapt what may not be obvious is the direction to adapt our social land landcape is different than it was before if you look at education statistics from the countries in the organization of Economic Development and cooperation in my generation 55 to 64 in about half of the countries more women had tertiary or college degrees than men in the generation 25 to 34 more women have college degrees than men in 100% of countries that means women today can have good jobs careers Financial Independence they do not need to be married to leave their parents' home so where's the win it's partnership while some below bare Minal effort men are in their Extinction burst era they're in their toddler throwing a tantrum era other men are in their very Demir and mindful era they're catching up to women waking up you are the prize you are creation you are the literal gatekeeper of humanity you decide how your life looks like you decide how the world looks like and and everyone else can catch up or get left behind that's all I have for you today I just wanted to let you know that you have so much inherent value and worth in a world that is hellbent on devaluing you and a big thank you to betterhelp for sponsoring today's video click the link in the description or go to betterhelp. com manifest L and get 10% off your first month of therapy that's betterhelp.