Uncovering Your Hidden Desires (and Why You Never Knew)

I was going hard I was launching new products every day I was doing all sorts of stuff I started having some success start making some more money I launch next thing the next thing I started building a company start hiring employees started building growing growing but it's forcing me to run away I'm running away from [Music] something what's up this is Russell Brunson and I am actually coming to you today from inside of my wrestling room here at my house and you may be wondering why are we talking here inside the wrestling room and I'll

explain here in a minute before I do um I want to talk about do you know why you do what you do why are you driven to do the thing that you're trying to accomplish in life it could be anything could be Sports Athletics could be business could be entrepreneurship could be something but do you know why you want to do what you do that's the question I want to kind of lead out with today and then we're going to talk about that from a bunch of different angles a lot of you guys know I'm

obsessed with neoy Hill and if you read neoy Hill uh basically everything he's ever published from The Laws of Success to thinking Grow Rich to how to raise your own salary one of the things he leads with first law success actually is always having a definite purpose like what is the thing you actually want to do do you know exactly what it is and now when the dev talks about only 2% of society of people know what they want to do they actually have a direction and a thing that they're moving towards everybody else is

just drifting and wandering around and hoping that someday something happy bumps into them right whereas only 2% of people have this driven Gene where they're like this is where I'm doing this is where I'm moving towards this is what I want they know what it is right Earl Nightingale talks about this in The Strangest Secret a man without a goal is like a ship without a Rudder he doesn't know where he's going he then belongs to that 95% that are just living day by day month after month like a starfisher in amiba by having that

Rudder which points you in Direction it can get you anywhere you want to go across the whole world right and there's the power of having having that purpose like a definite purpose of what you're doing what you're trying to achieve knowing exactly what it is so I'll tell you the story here about this wrestling room so if you know my background I wrestled in high school growing up I was a state champion I took third in state my senior year but that loss drove me to had to figure out how am I going to be

six I I I I I needed to appr myself that wasn't just you know an okay wrestling one state once but like I was something special and so for next like 3 months of my life I was I was working out 7 hours a day trying to to get to the next level cuz National Tournament was a couple months later went to the National Tournament to be at that National Tournament you had to be a senior and you to be a state champion I think I had 63 guys in my weight class multiple two and

three even four times state champs and I came through and I ended up taking second place in the nation I beat all the other state champs but proved myself like that I was something special right then from there I went to wrestle BYU for a year they cut the wrestling program after that went on a mission for the Mormon church for two years I was knocking doors in New Jersey having the time of my life and I came home I wrestled at Boise State it's my passion my love like still my favorite thing of all

time I've ever done is wrestling by far everything else is like a close second in fact people have asked me before like about business I was like I would give up business in a heartbeat if I could go back and start wrestling competing again like there's no way like you make so much money like no you don't understand like that feeling get my hand raised like that trumps everything the closest I've gotten to feeling something similar to that is like at an event when you get a table rush you get 100 people running to the

back of the room like that's the closest but it's not it's not better so I love wrestling it's my favorite thing if you look right behind me this picture that painting this is actually a painting on the wall it's kind of hard to see exactly that's my face right there that's my very last match I ever wrestled in college I actually losing that match and that was the end of my career and we're sitting there on side the mat like now what that was like that's huh and it was over and I didn't go to

the National Tournament I didn't do anything it was just it was one of those things was really hard for me and so I don't know about you guys but you know how you spend your entire life chasing a dream and then it's gone like that's where a lot of people go into depression because the because they miss the the shot in fact I had somebody ien Wilder messaged me today I'm going to pull on my phone said Russell you're ability to not dwell on the past is one of the the things I admire most about

you and I was like oh and then I sent her the screenshot from The Lion King ow jeez what was that for it doesn't matter it's in the past yeah but it still hurts oh yes the past can hurt but the way I I see it you can either run from it or learn from it you see they would say like depression comes from thinking about the past anxiety comes about thinking about the future so for me it's like um I don't think I don't dwell in the past and I think if I would have

dwelt in the past like I would have gone into depression or something cuz it was hard like to to spend a decade or more of your life on a gold and not hit it and there's nothing else you can do it's like gets over the tourament is done like that's it and then luckily i' had been starting my online business at the time and I was like okay I had had some success I had made a little bit of money enough to know like this was actually a real thing and so I transitioned my focus

to business I started running I started sprinting I was going hard I was launching new products every day I was doing all sorts of stuff you know I started having some success start making some more money and launch next thing the next thing I started building a company start hiring employees and started building growing growing I meet Todd Dickerson we worked together a couple years launching different funnels and webinars and some things online and eventually we had the idea for clickfunnels boom we build clickfunnels and it takes off and it takes off in about two

years and it taking off like I mean I I've had a lot of successes was the first one I was just like this is crazy we're making money like we've never dreamt of before right would help people like crazy it was just like it was such a cool man it was a cool thing so about 2 years into the business room we decided my wife and I we live in in a nice house but like let's get the Dream House the house we're going to live in Forever um the one I wanted to die in

right and so we started the journey trying to find the house and after a little while we found this house this is external garage but um when we found this house couple things we know number one is like it's on 5 Acres there's a whole bunch of of sure trees wrap the whole yard I was like it would take 20 years to get trees like this right and then there was this room right here which was this external garage and I saw this I was like this is my wrestling room this is this is it

and so before even bought the house I literally snuck in one night uh I I should say I snuck in to measure out the room so I figure out how how big I needed to get wrestling mats you look on the other side over here I've got full weight room whole bunch of other cool stuff I uh get whole thing lined up and then Rob cicas who's one of my favorite designers of all time do you want to come paint the walls and so like the second closed on the house the next day Rob showed

up to start painting and then the Matt showed up like a week later and then the weightlifting like everything's coordinated to to the to the tea and my wife's like where are these people like like know you didn't help me move in the house she didn't plan anything in the house like I was like well this is my manave this is my dream this is like what I wanted was this wrestling room so I remember we get it we start putting it all together getting things set up getting the painting down getting the matths down

getting the weight equipment and everything was happening and then we finally get it all done and called my friend BJ right who he wrestled in Nebraska a really good wrestler and I was like dude the wrestling's done come on over so he came over we got laced up our our shoes came of here and we wrestled and we take like take for granted like I have not worked out like wrestling shape for a decade and a half right like I'm out of shape we come here and we just beat on each other we're wrestling and

having so much fun for about an hour going as hard as we can and finally lay there and we're just dead on the mat just like no breath no energy nothing we're just laying here on the mat I had the weirdest feeling was this feeling of just like like the first time I've been chasing something for like I don't know over a decade after my wrestling career I was chasing something I don't know what it was and that moment I sat there with BJ I said dude this is what I was like this is what

I was chasing I didn't know it but this feeling to come and be able to wrestle again like that's all I actually wanted I was trying to get this feeling through all these through business through making money through all sorts of stuff where I just wanted to wrestle again when you hear me or or Napoleon Hill or someone talk about definite purpose right like what is your definite purpose so often the first thing we do is like here's the thing the financial goal or the I want to win a State title or right we we

pick a we pick a a goal of achievement right like what's the thing I want to achieve which is good I think I still believe in that I still think that it's like it it gives life like color and excitement and like a journey we're going on like I love achievement but what's interesting is like the like rarely is the achievement the thing that makes you happy like what the thing that makes you happy is different and um if you read expert secret I talk about this like when we when we tell a story to

our audience try to get our audience to move right is typically what happens is we'll tell the audience like here's what I wanted to do I wanted to lose weight to make money like we picked this journey of achievement we wanted right and that's where most people stop by the way if you look at the Great persuaders and the great people who are good at uh building connection rapport with an audience um they don't just talk about the achievement they they wanted they do talk about that cuz they have to set that goal it's also

the thing consciously the that the client or the person is thinking about as well like oh I also want to make a million dollars I also want to whatever right so they have the same the same journey of achievement that they want but the best persuaders the best storytellers they don't just talk about what they want they start figuring out the why they figure out what is the the um the inner Journey that someone's actually going on the Journey of transformation like what do they actually want and so in the expert secret book I talk

about this I have you I have you go through this question like what do you want like I want to make a million dollars why well um because like that then I'll feel like you know I I succeeded cool why do you want that right we start going like levels of deep why why do you want that like well I want to feel like succeed cuz right now I don't feel like I'm succeeding I'm struggling in life right like everything I've tried has been a failure and uh I feel if I had that then I'd

be successful like oh cool why why do you think that would change anything well you know the reality is last week I came home and my wife was upset about blah blah blah right and I feel like if I had this and she'd be proud of me well why does that matter why does that matter you keep on why why you dig deep seven eight nine 10 levels deep and eventually is when the real the real reason why it comes out the real reason which is you know whatever it might be it could be like

I just want to impress my dad I want my wife to love me more I want my kids to respect me like that's the real reason right like if I went back to myself after I got done wrestling I lose to the pack 10 tournament I don't get to fulfill my dreams and I'm running from that I'm running from this pain right trying to get away from this pain I don't want this pain I want it gone I start running towards something right like that that's causing me so much pain it's it's forcing me to

run forward it's forcing me to run away I'm running away from something what if I just wouldn't directly said like I just miss wrestling okay cool let's figure out time once a week you're going to go into a high school room wrestler you're going to go wrestle in college with college kids you're going to if I to figure out something like that i' probably get taken so much pressure off my back as supposedly just going directly doing that I'm like I'm going to build this whole thing which should give me free time and then I

can build a wrestling room and then I can you know all stuff versus like I could have just went directly to the source so think about that cuz not that I don't think pursuing goals is great but I think sometimes it it drives us crazy right I know for me it's like I've burned myself out sometimes trying to achieve this goal I know a big goal I'm achieving right now I'm running after this goal right now and I realize as I'm recording this I'm like I'm building like I'm buying a movie theater I'm building this

whole event I'm doing these kind of things I'm buying a library like why it's like I want to read more and write more that's that's what I'm trying to do but for some reason I'm going around about it in this huge you know Russell Brunson style like I got to go over the top thing and maybe it's maybe it's still the right thing and I'm not saying to persuade you about not doing it but being honest yourself like why are you doing it so yeah I'm just having this conversations myself and with you at the

same time so that's my first question for you it's like figing out like you're definite purpose what is the thing you actually want and see if we can just achieve like get you fulfilled get that goal met right now there's probably easy way we can fulfill that need you can still Chase the Dream don't don't think that I'm I'm advocating not doing that I'm obsessed with chasing dreams and having big goals and Visions so I'm not against that do that but what if you got your needs met at the beginning and not the end what

if you were already happy fulfilled what if you didn't have to stress about all that kind of stuff how would that change the journey for you would you have more fun would you enjoy the journey longer so what is that what is that I want you to ask why multiple times not just once the last level I want to take this is your audience when you get to storytelling this is one of the pieces that so many people Miss I talk about this an expert Secrets book but it's like you have to understand this for

your audience like you have to understand the the achievement they want but you also need to understand like what is the thing that they are secretly Desiring I say sec secretly because they don't even know subconsciously Desiring the thing that that they're they're chasing right again I talked about extra Secrets when you tell a story like I tell my story of achievement but if I really want to connect with somebody build empathy and rapport with someone really quickly when I got started in this business I just married my wife fell in love with her we

got married um she was supporting me I was wrestling and I and she wanted to start a family she's my wife's 5 and a half years older than me so she wanted to start a family quickly and I couldn't and it's like so like I want to start a business right so I used tell people like I want to start a business online I want to be an internet guy I want to make a bunch of money it's like was the Journey of achievement that I would tell people right I tell them that most people

like oh yeah me too like and like you get some people but if you want to get people who follow you for life it's coming back down same but like if I'm honest with myself the real reason why I I wanted to start a business and make money CU my wife like she's the coolest you know she's 5 years older than me she's been supporting me she's been working to like she just wants a family that's what she really wants and I want to figure out a way I can support her she can be a

mom like that would be the coolest thing she could be a mom she would have to work she like she could stay home be a mom raising the kids like do like her dream like her her whole dream is like her life she wanted to be a mom that's all she ever wanted and she's been working you know she's 20 at this time she was 27 years old and I was want to be his mom and I was like I want to give her that gift I don't care about making money or business but if

I can like retire her so she can do that we start our family we can have kids and then she can be the mom she wants to be like that's like that was the thing that fired me up right that's the reason why I wanted to do it so I tell someone that story that's me going five levels deep on why right why start a business make money why so I can be make my wife proud why so I can like no it's like because in our private conversations that's what she wanted that's what she

was she was like hoping for and dreaming for and praying for and I was like man I'm in a spot where I can make that happen for and like how great would that be if I could do that for my wife right so I share that story and what happens like yeah I bet me just telling the story now a lot of you guys are probably like wow I thought Russell was just this direct response marketer guy it's like no he he started this because he wanted to give his wife that then he built this

cuz he wanted to get back to wrestling and like like I've had a chance last seven years wrestle with my kids and I'm like spending time with them like it was it was magical right it was the the thing that I wanted and so so what do you actually want what do you actually want what your customers actually want if you can figure out the answer to that I believe it's the shortcut of success anyway so this video is open for discussion I don't know the answers to all these questions yet in fact that's why

I'm writing this next book cuz I'm going deep trying to figure these things out for myself I figure if I can solve these questions for myself hopefully I can solve some other people well so if you have ideas please in the comments down below let me know drop them down I read the comments on YouTube all the time they're really fun and I guess the biggest question I'm going to leave you guys with today end this video is what you really want you can really answer that um that's going to change everything for you figure

it out for yourself and then secondarily for the people you've been called to serve this could be your family a lot you guys been called to serve your family what do they actually want youve been called to serve an audience a group you know what do they want if you can help them to achieve the the real reason why not the big why that they all are willing to admit not the Journey of transformation but the or not the Journey of achievement but the Journey of transformation that they have deep in their heart they may

not even consciously know of if you can help them achieve that along the way that'll change everything so hope you enjoyed this video I hope you guys um got something good from this if you did let me know in the comments down below what it is and uh hopefully I'll see you guys I let me know do you want me to film some more stuff in the wrestling room if so this is where the magic happens this is my happy place this is my man cave some dude's got man caves a whole bunch of stuff

I got a wrestling room with some weights some treadmills some bags some some mats some pads I love Combat Sports love wrestling love everything to do with that in fact my biggest regret in life is I have not done any kind of uh mixed martial arts style fight so I'm thinking about it think I should do it yeah thinking about it I told Todd Brown today two things the two biggest things I want to do before I die that I haven't done yet number one is like an MMA fight and number two is a bodybuilding

competition so anyway maybe we'll maybe we'll we'll K those up here in the near future I don't know I haven't decided yet I'm not I'm not committed yet it sounds like a lot of fun though just to know that I did it once I just know though like I still compete at wrestling and it's really fun to compete at wrestling um but the thing it's like I didn't realize they film all those you can find them online bunch of you guys found them online start posting I was like wow I am out of shape Russell

with love handles and pasty white skin like I got to get in shape before I go next time cuz people find it I just know if I lose the the MMA fight you guys are going to blow it up all the internet like look Russell getting beat up which I guess is kind of funny so anyway I'm not against it I just you know you know the an the anxiousness the nerves but uh let me know what you guys want to do go and do it Go accomplish it go directly to the source of your

happiness as you achieving things don't wait for the achievement to happen to get the thing you think you want go and get it right now as you working towards your achievement if you do that then you can have it all you can have true uh true success which again my definition of success is achievement plus fulfillment equals success you got both those things together that's what true happiness comes from so thanks so much appreciate you all and we'll see you guys on the next video [Music]