How to Make Next Year the Best Year: Ask Yourself These 7 Questions

you and I are about to do a process that I call the yearly audit I'm going to walk you through seven questions that will help you audit the last 12 months of your life because here's the truth you already know what's going to create the best year of your life you have a deeply personal extremely wise and deadly accurate set of directions that lead you to the simple things that you can do more of the things you need to do less of that will help you create the best year of your life so you ready

for the lessons Okay hey it's your friend Mel Robbins and welcome to the Mel Robbins podcast I am thrilled that you picked this particular episode to listen to because you and I are about to do a process that I call the yearly audit it is something that my husband and I have done for 20 years we now do it with our kids it is a GameChanger and I first talked about this a year ago on the podcast more than a million of you did an annual audit you loved it you loved how empowered you feel

we are going to do it again and if you're brand new and this is the first episode that you've ever listened to with the Mel Robin podcast let me tell you something you have picked a winner I want to welcome you to the Mel Robins podcast family I love that you're here for this because you know what this tells me it tells me you're the kind of person that not only values your time but you want want to make next year one of the best years of your life and what we're going to do today

is I'm going to walk you through seven questions that will help you audit the last 12 months of your life because one of the things that I've noticed over the years is that everybody makes the same mistake whether they're making New Year's resolutions or they're setting goals for the next year or they're doing business planning we're so obsessed with like looking ahead and manifesting and setting goals and wiping the Slate clean that we jump over one of the most powerful and important and critical parts of planning and what is that thing that is critical it's

understanding where you are right now see if you just simply look ahead you're going to be like oh I want to do this and I want to do that and I want to do the other thing but you're missing all the wisdom from the last 12 months in fact I guarantee you because I'm going to prove it to you when I ask you these seven questions you don't even remember 95% of the things that happened in the last 12 months me either this process is going to help you review what happened and all the experiences

the highs the lows the lessons the wins the losses and we're going to pull it all together and you're going to go oh my gosh wow and from that place you're going to be able to create a set of directions for how you make your next year the single best year of your life and this is important because it's personal it's person personal what's going to make your next year one of the best years of your life and I'm not going to allow you to make that mistake of not taking a beat and tapping the

breaks and spending the time digging into what your own life has to teach you about what will make for the best year of your life because you don't know right now in fact you don't even know where you are because you're not present to everything that's happened to you in the past 12 months and it's important to know where you are in fact you know I always think about planning and goal setting in this time of year like creating a set of directions have you ever had the experience where you know you're trying to find

a friend's house right and maybe you've never been there before and you're a little lost and so you call your friend and you're like I know I'm close but you know how do I get to your house can you can you help me can you help me get there what's the first thing they ask you can you tell me where you are the reason why somebody asks you where are you is because math atically speaking it's impossible to give somebody directions unless we know two things where are you and where do you want to go

I'm going to walk you through this process that helps you understand exactly where you are because when you're really present to everything you've learned and experienced these last 12 months of your life you not only know exactly who you are and where you are you're going to be very clear about what you want and what you don't want and I know things are a little crazy right now I know there's a lot of you that feel uncertain based on where you may be living in the world I know that there's a lot in the news

that can feel a little overwhelming but I'm going to remind you over and over and over again when you focus on yourself and when you focus on your actions and when you focus on your own life what's within your control your life is going to get better you will feel more in control and you will start to feel yourself truly moving your life and your career and your relationships in the right direction and that's exactly what we're going to be doing today before we jump into this I just want to tell you a little bit

about how this is going to roll if you're listening to me as you're walking right now or you're driving a car you're not going to be able to write anything down and that's okay all I want you to do is just listen and think about your answers to these seven questions because once you listen through this process you're going to want to come back with a piece of paper or perhaps your laptop and you're definitely going to want to come back and have your camera roll with you on your phone and you're going to understand

why in a minute and you also as you're listening might go oh I want to do this with my spouse or I want to do this with my family which means you can listen through the whole thing and then share it with everybody and then come back and do it as a group see I want to have you go through this process and actually get your answers to these seven questions down on paper or in your computer why well because to me if you just keep them trapped in your mind they're not real I need

you to pull this wisdom and Clarity out of your brain and put them either in your computer or in your notes app or on a piece of paper in the real world and you're also going to need your phone and the reason why you're going to need your phone is because you have a camera roll on your phone and we're going to be using your calendar and all of the photos from the last year to jog your memory because having done this for 20 years in a row I can tell you with 100% certainty you

have forgotten 95% of what's happened this year are you ready good so am I I'm so excited so let's just jump in with question number one describe the highlights from the past year of your life what were the highlights now if you stop and think you're like okay what were the highlights or the you don't remember them all and this is where your camera roll comes in okay so if I take out my camera roll and I'm going to do it right now I have resisted the urge to look through my camera roll cuz I

wanted to actually do this with you and I'm going to put into my search right now let's see let's go to January oh my gosh like already wow I started the year visiting my daughter in California I completely for oh there I am with my best friend from uh Elementary School jod there's a photo of us we're in Santa I completely forgot about that oh whoa there's Jamie K Lima I'm visiting my P oh my gosh Oakley was still in high school and there he is at a ski race completely forgot that ski season was

a year ago and I actually made it to a couple of them oh there I am I'm getting my hair dyed oh I went out to dinner with friends oh there's my friend's new puppy there's a lot that I forgot I forgot that oh my gosh my my friend got a new puppy named Honey she's now like the size of a horse I completely forgot that that happened this year and this is just January oh I forgot about this here's another one I did a yoga class with flamingos walking around I mean talk about a

crazy experience and there was this one particular moment where I was standing up and you're supposed to be all still and honest to God a flamingo came up and put his beak over my shoulder I mean that was crazy I completely forgot about that and guys I am only on January 15th and look at how much I forgot about already and you want to know what this shows me it shows me that time with family matters do you see how excited I got as I was talking about these celebrations and these memories and you want

to know what else that shows me it shows me how excited I got about all the new things that I did like the flamingo yoga thing that was one class that lasted 50 minutes and it's still something that when I see the photos it brings me a lot of Joy that's pretty cool I want you to really Embrace what I'm saying because now what I'm going to do is I'm going to go to my camera roll and I'm just going to put in this year 7,000 photos actually there's 6,927 photos when I put in 2024

and as I scroll through this and I start to jog my memory of all of the things that happened this year what becomes so apparent and you're going to absolutely love doing this ritual every year of taking an audit which is really the process of taking your life in like allowing yourself to relive it week by week month by month photo by photo you're going to see just all the ups and downs and the places that you went and the people that you saw and you might see that you didn't go anywhere that in and

of itself is a really important piece of data Maybe your life is too same old same old and that's part of the reason why you feel stuck and it's going to be staring back at you in your photos maybe you're going to pull out your camera roll and realize you only have 100 photos for the whole year which probably means you haven't been that present you know one of the things things that's really cool about doing this podcast is the number of people that I get to meet and my life wasn't like that two years

ago my life I felt like very isolated in my work I felt like I was constantly traveling I felt like I wasn't learning as much as I wanted to learn and when I did my audit with Chris two years ago I'm like I need to change this holy cow I'm seeing another highlight so our daughter Kendall played at Carnegie Hall and here she is with her buddy Phil cook who accompanied her at this big folk music thing and just this week she was down in Durham doing sessions with Phil and a bunch of his musician

friends in Duram based on the relationship that they created in January like it just kind of opens up possibility for you and what you're going to notice again the question is what are the highlights and and I'm seeing a lot of highlights what happens is it reminds you of what brings you Joy and if you don't see a lot of highlights that's okay that's okay because that's data and it's something you can change and there have been plenty of years over the 20 years that Chris and I have gone through this audit where I've said

this has been all work no play I don't see any friends here like I didn't go anywhere I didn't see my family as much I'm not smiling in photos like I got to change something but I just really wanted to give you a sense of what it feels like to sit down and give yourself this gift of just spending time with yourself and the life that you've lived these this last year so what were the highlights well there were an awful lot of photos about the process of writing the let them Theory Book I have

been head down on that puppy for the entire year and so a huge highlight is that I actually got that thing done that two days ago it was published that the cover is Sensational that the content is incredible and that more importantly all those late nights all of the times I broke down crying all of the photos of me where I look bloated and my mascara is running and I'm exhausted and the gray hairs are coming in and I've been living in the same of sweatpants for 3 days that all of that hard work paid

off and then another huge highlight our family climbed Mount Kaden which is the mountain that is the end of the Appalachian Trail it was an extraordinary experience and so that just kind of gives you a sense of what does it sound like and what are the highlights and I'm going to give you one other highlight on my phone there were a tremendous number number of flowers that I stopped and took photos of and a highlight for me is that I had for the first time in my life I had planted a cutting Garden which basically

means I had taken the time to plant a ton of tulip bulbs last spring and this year they bloomed and there were so many photos like I'm literally obsessed with flowers and what does that tell me well the reason why highlights are important is the things that make you smile the things that make you look back with fondness it's not just the accomplishments it's the things that make your heart warm and that's important data because you want more of that in your life if you look at the last 12 months and you can see the

things that made you smile or made you happy or that brought you more peace then you're going to want to bring more of that to your life in the next 12 months that's an example of how you use your own life as data to help you create a set of directions to what living the best life for you in the next year looks like and that's personal to you you may be listening to me going flowers that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard well then that means it shouldn't be part of your set of directions

but don't you think it'd be stupid if I don't include it as part of mine of course it would be and that's why we're doing this audit and that brings me to the second question that you're going to ask yourself and you're going to be able to answer this very quickly because you're going to have just scrolled through all of your photos and through your calendar and that second question is what were some of the hardest parts this year now last year the hardest parts for me is that I was in full-blown menopause I felt

like I was a Twinkie on two legs in terms of my waist was gone my pants didn't fit I had like a fanny pack around my front only it wasn't a fanny pack it was actually my stomach filling out my pants and I just felt completely disempowered the other low Point other than my health and this is also part of my health I spent way too much time working like there were just when I looked at the low points of 2023 oh my God like I didn't see my friends at all all every single photo

was work I didn't spend a lot of time with my parents with my family there weren't a lot of celebrations and it was depressing and when you ask yourself what were the hardest parts of your year it's okay that it makes you sad it's okay to feel the feelings you know for me one of the things that made me really sad is becoming an empty nester like I don't even like that term I like I prefer the term bird launcher because the fact is once they fly away they tend to fly back and they need

more money and they have problems they need help with and I love that it's a sign that they need you and that they trust you um but it is kind of sad it's sad to not have the energy in the house it's sad to not have all the kids coming over after school and to have to be kind of quiet another really hard part my dad had to have surgery it's very unexpected and it's also been hard to see that in the wake of the surgery which was just a back surgery it went well I

know you're going to ask so I'm just going to went really well but the recovery it's kind of a long road and he's can't do a lot of the things that brings him Joy so he's grumpy my mom's kind of grumpy about it you know it's not the easiest thing to see your parents getting a little bit older and so that was a really hard part another hard part not going to lie to you right in the let them Theory it is a very difficult thing to take on a project that size and it chewed

up most of my weekends a lot of late nights it was a lot of hard work and so as much as it was a high it was also kind of a low in terms of just the hard part and I'm pointing that out because there are things in your life that are going to make you really proud and are going to be really big accomplishments and they're also very hard and that's okay and kind of understanding that just because something is successful doesn't mean it wasn't a low point just because something was amazing in the

end doesn't mean it wasn't a project that sucked you dry and so it made both lists for me the other thing that was very difficult for me is our daughter Sawyer went through the most painful and devastating breakup of her life and she was profoundly depressed and heartbroken and it is extremely difficult to watch somebody that you love process something like that because you can't fix it for them like the hardest thing about grief and heartbreak is you got to go through it it was also very hard to watch our son Oak uh apply to

a bunch of colleges and just get no no no from the three top schools he was interested in and again you can't fix it and it's an really important thing in life to not get what you want honestly because it makes makes you realize what's worth working for it makes you realize what's important makes you realize nothing's guaranteed and Kendall had a very hard year too at points where she was just very down on herself and questioning whether or not being in the music industry was something she was ever going to be successful at and

yet again do you see the lesson life is teaching me that I can't rescue someone from their challenges in fact when you try to and this is what I learned earned and it was kind of a gift now that I think about it because as all this was going on I'm writing the let them Theory and it led to an entire section about how when people in your life are struggling you have to let them because they're capable of facing these challenges in life and when you try to rescue people from the natural consequences of

life and their decisions and when you try to rescue people from you know what life is trying to teach you they tend to drown and so it was very hard for me to go okay let them and let me just focus on providing the support and believing in what they their ability to face this and to get through it you know what it works the people in your life are a lot stronger than you believe so you got to let them and trust that they are capable with your support of figuring it out and meeting

these moments in life and you know I'm sharing all this with you because what's going to be on your list is personal and what it teaches you is personal but it's also powerful it's so powerful I can't wait to hear what you find when you look back and you ask these questions and that brings me to the third question what did you learn about yourself this year like for real and I want you to really look at both the highs and the lows the things that you accomplished and the things that you didn't I want

you to look at what made you super happy and brought you a lot of joy and I want you to think about the things that were really challenging or broke your heart or that made you scared because regardless of whether it felt good or bad I guarantee you it taught you something guarantee you you learned something about yourself you know when I look at my answers from last year they were very kind of pragmatic you know what I mean I was like okay I learned learned that the way I've been going about my health now

that I'm in menopause it's not going to work Mel you can't just run this off you can't just starve it off you're going to have to do something different because doing what you've always done is Now not working woman so you got to wake up and accept the facts and the other thing that I wrote last year is Mel you got to stop managing other people's emotional breakdowns I was always a fixer like I was the first person rescue people I was the first person to throw money at it I made it my job to

make everybody happy I'm the big re reassurer and that Insight that's what helped me this past year to show up totally differently when the people in my life were struggling instead of jumping in and saying oh it's going to be okay I would just take a step back and be like let them be heartbroken let them be scared that they're not going to make it let them feel like a loser that they've been rejected not once not twice but a third time let them and Trust in their ability to really meet this moment and learn

from it and ask for the help that they need because what ended up happening is by stepping back it created the space for especially my adult kids to step forward and grow and learn and strengthen themselves and that was a really cool thing but let me tell you when I do the audit and I think about this past year and these past 12 months and I look at the photos oh my God so you're ready for the lessons Okay so I learned that I've gotten to a point where I no longer can take the business

that I've built to the next level like I have tapped out of my capacity to truly run operations like I'm terrible at it at this point I was good for a certain point but now I just have to be honest with myself and realize that I can't do the job that I've been doing anymore and I can't do it well and that's a really important thing to be able to admit to yourself that maybe you're not a great parent when they're teenagers that's okay maybe you're not great at all all at Excel spreadsheets but you're

pretending to be that's okay just knowing that that is critical because when you accept the facts about your own limitations or your own interests or your own strengths or weaknesses now you can pivot instead of beating yourself up instead of continuing to slog forward maybe you've learned that you're kind of selfish maybe you've learned that you need more out of your partner and you're not that needy you're with somebody who is actually selfish and not that nice to you like what you learn about yourself is incredibly important because I truly believe that anywhere in your

life where you're feeling friction and that's what I felt a lot at work like this friction and this tension between the role I was playing when I sit here and I talk to you on the podcast and the role I have to play when it comes to building the team and managing the teams and looking at the pnls and like running the revenue and figuring out the operations and worrying about the leases and oh my God I just want to throw up when I think about this stuff I'm horrible at it and it makes me

feel this like friction any area of your life this year where you have felt friction or frustration you're in the wrong role you're in the wrong seat in the bus whether that's in your marriage whether it's you as a parent whether it's how you relate to your roommates whether it's the job you're doing in your company there is something about the fit that's not fitting anymore and having that Insight that I don't fit in the spot I'm playing anymore that is liberating because then you realize it's not you it's a process or it's a role

or it's the fact that something has grown beyond your skill set doesn't mean you're a loser like do you know how much courage it takes to go I don't want to run operations anymore I really have to focus on what I can do or you know what I've been pretty selfish in this family and it's because I feel like my needs aren't being met so I'm fighting against everybody and I need to change that so I learned that I was in the wrong seat in the bus and that's why there was a lot of friction

about and frustration in my work and that Insight is helping me to go okay well then what is the right seat and who do I need to surround myself with and what changes do I need to make another thing I learned about myself I want more time with my family especially my parents like I made that a priority this year and I still did not see them enough do you see how looking backwards helps you create specific directions that will help you go forward that's why this audit is so critical to you creating a plan

that makes this next year the best year of your life the other thing that I saw is that I am one of these people that I grocery shop when I'm hungry I grocery shop when I'm hungry everywhere in my life and what does that mean when you go to the grocery store and you're hungry you buy all kinds of stuff you don't need one of the problems with allowing yourself to stay in the wrong role at work or in the wrong role in your relationship because you can be in a marriage and feel like you're

playing the wrong role right now because you're doing too much or you're not feeling supported or you're parenting your partner one of the problems with that is you start to get very emotional and then you over complicate and you overreact and just like when you're really hungry at a grocery store you over buy everything and so I can see that I often get myself in a state where I get so like agitated about things that I over complicate and I overreact and I'm tired of doing that and that's something that I learned about myself this

year that it is critical that I weed out any area where there's friction or frustration and I stay laser focused on the one or two things that I do well and Laser focused on making sure that I protect my peace so that I don't take it out on the people around me and so keep in mind that as you go through these questions you're probably going to keep going back and being like oh yeah that was a low oh yeah that was a high oh yeah I did learn this thing about myself and that's why

I just love this audit process because you're really cool and you're multi-dimensional and you're a lot smarter than you give yourself credit for and you've learned a lot about yourself and you're much wiser than you kind of realize and we fall into this trap of just kind of getting through the daytoday and staying on the surface and when you really hit the brakes and you give yourself time to take a look back and consider how you feel and how things impacted you I think you're going be shocked at what you actually know to be true

about yourself and once you have all that on paper or in your notes app or you know in your computer it's real and it's a reminder that you do know who you are you do know what you want you do know what makes you happy you're not stuck you're not lost you may be overwhelmed but that doesn't mean you can't figure out where you are right now and create directions to move and inch yourself forward in ways that really make you happier and more fulfilled because now you know where you are right now you're in

the present moment now you have the last 12 months front and center on the paper in your photo roll in your cells you're feeling it you're it's a part of you now I can ask you what are you going to stop doing in the coming year and this question and in fact the next three questions come from a very simple planning tool that businesses have been using forever I mean I'm talking like Harvard Business School the world's leading Brands the most sophisticated executive teams of publicly traded companies the best coaches on the planet use this

tool just called stop start continue it just cuts right through the BS and helps you focus on what is it that I need to stop doing what do I need to start doing and what am I going to continue doing because we often forget when we're setting goals continue what am I going to continue doing and you're not going to forget that part because we're using these seven questions and so question number four what are you going to stop doing in the next year and for me you know I'm looking back at my answers that

I wrote down 12 months ago and 12 months ago you know what I said I'm not I'm GNA stop traveling for work I'm just not doing it I'm gonna stop traveling for work and I used to do like 30 or 40 Keynotes a year it was a huge part of the business but I just it was draining me gonna stop doing it I'm very proud to say I did seven speeches this year that's it that's a huge change I should now probably put that on one of the highlights of the year right and again this

is why this becomes such an iterative process the other thing I said I'm going to stop doing is I'm going to stop bitching about menopause because it's not helping me accept who I am and I'm just going to get to work and I'm going to lean in and I'm going to learn and what I learned is it's all about strength training and protein people strength training protein and hormone replacement therapy if it's safe for you and it works now when I ask myself this question what am I going to stop doing oh my God it's

a hard one I want to stop allowing myself to stay in projects or situations where I feel that friction or frustration and I just want to get laser focused on weeding out like process things that aren't working or Dynamics with people that aren't working and just stop tolerating anything less than just peace and ease and I've started doing that with my family where um I said to Chris the other day there's something that we're working on together and he was starting to get really nervous that it's not going to work out and I'm like can

we just bring ease to this it's either going to work or it's not going to work but like kind of getting all agitated about it it doesn't help can we just bring ease to this and I've started saying it with certain people in my family that can get an edge in their voice can can I get that you're frustrated can can we just dial down the tone a little bit can we just take a deep breath and talk through this without the intensity and this idea that I'm going to stop allowing that friction and intensity

around me and I'm going to really kind of be focused on protecting a more peaceful state it doesn't mean I'm going to be steamrolled it just means there's an energy thing that I really don't want to buy into I don't want to get sucked into it's really important to me um what else am I going to stop doing I'm stopping myself from trying to solve my kids problems and giving them advice and teaching myself to just listen and that's helping a lot and I'm sure I'll come to more and like that's the thing I'm doing

this live with you so it doesn't sound very professional the way I'm talking right now and I'm sort of like your friend it'd be like you and I sitting at lunch together and we're like well I don't know what am I going to stop doing and that's the other reason to come back to this and listen and to write things down because you you can add things to the list you can truly you know like come back to this because once you kind of start chipping away at this more and more and more opens up

I'm going to stop making work my number one priority like it it's been taking over my life and part of that's because the book is launching right now but I really do not want to take on more projects next year like there it is that's it see I just discovered it by talking to you I need to stop adding things and that means focus on the things that are actually working which is this podcast and I'm going to start sub subtracting that's what I'm going to do oo that's a good one I like that one

I better write that Sharpie and put it on my forehead for crying out loud and if my family hears this they're going to be like Mel what did you say you're going to do you're G to stop doing things and that brings me to question number five what are you GNA start doing so this is something new what are you going to start doing well I'm almost embarrassed to tell you last year's answers uh top of the list people you ready I'm GNA strength train three days a week that didn't happen and here's the thing

about it you know I didn't do it I don't need to trash myself about it how amazing is it if you could bring compassion to the things that didn't happen and instead lean in with curiosity because if I say well why didn't that happen Mel I'll tell you why it actually happened if I was in Boston for a week taping the podcast because I would in was in a very steady routine and it would happen if I happened to be in Vermont for a stretch it didn't happen when things got crazy and that tells me

more data which is my life doesn't work when I shop when I'm hungry my life doesn't work when I say yes to too many things my life doesn't work and the things that I need don't fall in place if I get too like ambitious around what I think I can get done that it's in slowing down and getting into more of a rhythm that I actually feel better and that's personal for me which means I got to bring that to my goals and do you want to know what's fascinating if I hadn't done this audit

my plan for next year would be more I got to do more I got to take on more I got to do this I got to do that I got to do the other thing my audit is telling me actually Mel no you got to do less you got to focus on the things that actually matter you got to get rid of a lot of stuff that's not working and then you got to just really lean into those things and be a real just maniacal unwavering [ __ ] if you know what I mean about

anything else that comes up and particularly with myself because I'm the one that shops when I'm hungry and so this is a really important insight for me and it might be for you too that maybe you say yes to Too Much which means you're saying no to the things that matter and you're chasing the next thing instead of truly leaning into the real thing and I'm a th% guilty of that and another thing that I wrote last year is that I want to be aggressive about saving money and I did that and it was on

my list and it was a reminder and it's only when it's in front of my face that I remember to do it and I think you're going to find the same thing and so it's very clear to me what I need to start doing and that is being more disciplined about just focusing on the core things that matter to me instead of expand expand expand you can get so romanced by doing more especially this time of year especially this time of year do you know how radical and defiant it is to say nope my goals

for for the next year I'm actually going to do less and I'm going to focus on the things that actually matter and I'm going to be super disciplined about it about three or four things that make me really happy about the three or four things at work or in my career or my business that really make it Excel and I'm going to be really just strict about not getting sucked up and all the other stuff because it's so easy for that to happen all right and that brings me to number six what are you going

to continue doing in the next year last year's answer was limiting alcohol which I was good and bad about it depends on the stress level in my life like there is a alcohol is at the scene of the crime whenever I'm stressed and one thing I'm very proud of is I'm not the Drinker I used to be I'm not the kind of person that was truly like just pounding the bourbon Manhattans I'm the kind of person though that when things get very stressful the easiest way that I can pull the lever on my brain to

go oh my God turn your brain off is to just have a Gonic and that's not a good thing so I would continue to limit my alcohol and to try to figure out ways to better support myself but the best way I can support myself honestly is to do what I just told you I'm going to do which is limit what I'm focused on because it's when I shop when I'm hungry and I say yes to too many things and I let everybody else hijack my time and I make things bigger bigger bigger that I

get stressed when I'm out with my flowers and spending time with Chris and hanging with some friends and prioritizing my parents and I'm really focused on three things at work that truly Drive the needle I'm not stressed and so all of this is connected um the other thing I'm going to continue doing is using the let them theory that was one thing I said last year because I had just discovered it and we had just started writing the book that I'm going to let other people live their lives because my life gets better and I'm

going to let other people be who they are are because then my relationships get better and when I use the let them Theory and I keep saying let them and I let people be themselves and I let people learn from life and I let people know that I'm here to support them but that I'm not going to save them when I let people have their opinions when I let them deal with their own emotions my life gets better it creates space for me it creates peace it's unbelievable how much more time you have and so

I'm going to continue saying let them and then saying let me every single day because it works and it's what creates the space for me to take care of me and I'll tell you I'm definitely not going to be working on my next book because holy smokes I'm going to laser focus on the three things and not add anything else and I'm just going to enjoy hearing all the miraculous ways that your life changed changes and your family changes and your marriage and your relationships with your adult kids and everybody else gets better because you

learn the power of letting other people be who they are it's it's honestly kind of interesting the more you give up control the more control you gain the more power you have and it just it's incredible all right and the final thing question number seven what can you do today to take that first step now that you have a set of directions is there one thing on that list that you can do today like if you're also noticing wow you know I would love to plant flowers I'm the same way as Mel could you watch

a video that helps you plan how you're going to do that this spring for yourself to set yourself up I mean that's just one step forward if you listen to me you're like yeah I I'm not spending enough time with my parents either or I when's the last time I spent a Friday night laughing my tail off with my friends could you find a date in the calendar and reach out and plan it because now that you have the turn BYT set of directions of what you're going to start doing what you're going to stop

doing what you're going to continue doing now that you can see what brought you Joy and what taught you the greatest lessons now that you have greater self-awareness you have a deeply personal extremely wise and deadly accurate set of directions that lead you to the simple things that you can do more of the things you need to do less of that will help you create the best year of your life and I think that's the most magical thing of all that the answers are not out there they're actually in you that it's not the big

things when you sit there and you're like I'm going to make a million dollars I'm going to do this I'm going to do that no it's the little things that create the best year of your life it's the things you stop doing it's the things you continue doing that bring you Joy but you don't quite think about every day because they're little but you need to continue to do them and it's the things that you need to start doing because of all the lessons that you've learned or the ways that things didn't work out this

year because you didn't take the time to set yourself up for Success like maybe all you need to do is to start thinking okay I got these directions how do I make this easier for myself how do I set myself up to win how do I not make this so hard what if this wisdom and these directions that are right in front of my face actually make my life easier and more fun what if you lean into that you already know what's going to create the best year of your life and through this simple exercise

you now have a road map to take yourself there and one other thing that you can do that will really accelerate it is share this episode with everybody that you love you know one of my favorite things about doing this exercise is I not only do it with Chris but over the years as our kids have gotten older we do it as a family and so I've now just done it with you which means I'm going to have a head start when I sit down with my family in a couple days because I'm going to

have all this stuff written down and I'm going to have glanced through all of my camera roll but the cool thing is when you do it as a group with your family with your kids or with your parents or with your roommates you remind each other of the good things you remind each other of the stuff that you learned and it's a really amazing exercise that you can do together that brings you together and that all Al helps you understand what matters to each and every one of you at a completely different level which what

helps you show up and support one another and having the best year of your life and that's what I want for you and so thank you thank you thank you for spending this time with me thank you for listening to this thank you for sharing it with your friends and family thank you for taking the time to come back to it and to truly dig in with with your own calendar and your own photos because there is no doubt in my mind you're going to be surprised by what you find so let me just recap

so you got those questions front and center okay number one what were the highlights this year number two what were the hardest parts of the year for you three what did you learn about yourself over the last 12 months four what are you going to stop doing in the coming year five what are you going to start doing in the coming year six what are you going to continue doing in the coming year and finally question number seven what can you do today to take the first step in that set of directions that's it there's

the audit it is so simple and shockingly powerful and I cannot wait to hear the wisdom the lessons the insight and the set of directions that it creates for you all righty in case no one else tells you I also wanted to tell you that I love you and I believe in you and I believe in your ability to create a better life and what I just walked you through is a very simple formula that you can share with anyone that you love that absolutely gives you the set of directions that you need to create

that better life all righty I'll be waiting for you in the next episode and and thank you on YouTube I love being here with you thank you for watching all the way to the end and by the way thank you for supporting this book and for grabbing a copy I love you I know you're loving it this is the best thing you can give to your family and friends so thank you thank you thank you for picking up a copy of this thing and one more thing um my goal is that 50% of the people

that watch this channel are subscribers it's free it's a way that you can show me that you really appreciate what we're doing here at my company that you love the videos we're putting up all you got to do is just hit subscribe I really really really appreciate you doing that for me and I know you're the kind of person that loves supporting the people that support you so thank you thank you thank you and thank you for sharing this simple method to doing an audit at the end of the year I know you're going to

love it I know your friends are going to love it and I can't wait to see what insights you gain by asking yourself these seven questions now the question you may be asking yourself now is all right Mal live subscribed what should I watch next I think this video is the perfect thing for you to watch next and I'll be waiting for you in it the moment you hit play