After This You'll Change How You Do Everything! - Tony Robbins

in people's lives there's only maybe a half dozen seven eight categories that really matter most people you know they major in minor things they focus on stuff that doesn't matter they know more about this celebrity going in and out of rehab than they do about their own personal development but i look at say if you look at your body without that everything else is out the door you don't want to be a richest man in the graveyard that's not going to do it if there is energy if there's vitality of their strength it's going to

show up in your relationship it's going to show up in your business show up in your life that's you've got to master you can't dabble it's too important emotions are everything i mean you got a ton of money you got everybody loves you and your primary emotions are pissed off and frustrated then your life's pissed off and frustrated doesn't matter if you've got a billion dollars or a million people loving you your life is not great relationships intimate relationships especially it's where the most juice in life comes from is where the most pain comes from

most people it's worth mastering instead of dabbling you know really looking at what are you going to do with your time and mastering your time instead of having a checklist you cross it all off you can mistake movement for achievement i want to squeeze out of that time what matters that creates value for me and for everyone i care about love what about your career or your business and the mastery of that dabbling well most businesses are dabblers that's why they don't make it 96 you know any 10-year period of time four percent make it

that doesn't mean they're profitable and it does not mean they're enjoying themselves all right or they're getting anybody else to feel good really mastering money so that it's it's not a question in your life you can do and be and give and share as much as you want you're not stressed about it you live in a place of abundance and then spiritually really i think i don't tell people to believe spiritually but i believe that ultimately whatever you believe you've got to live it and it should lead to growing and giving if you're growing you

feel alive if you're giving you feel ten times more alive and i think if someone can celebrate and give then that spiritual state so to me those are the areas i look at mastering you know business for sure but it's the areas of life that matter most and most of where we spend our time doesn't make people feel fulfilled that's why the average person is not fit and healthy the average person is not in a relationship where they have tremendous passion you know i'm not a dummy i'm not a positive thinker i know the truth

the average person is not successful in business the average person is not earning what they want to earn but you know what very few people have those things but a few do a few are happy fulfilled spiritually alive financially strong their business is growing they have passionate love affairs and i'm obsessed with finding the few who do and find out what they do different teaching to everybody everyone's going to measure themselves differently because everyone values things differently some people value success or significance some people value love more some value just basic levels of certainty so

when i look at the specific metrics i really look at metrics of what are the things that need to be measured to know if your life is going to work or not so i look at it as our whole lives are guided moment to moment by the state rent learning how to change your state not [ __ ] not fake but to go from pissed off frustrated freaked out to back in your center or creative or determined or something that's going to move you forward it's going to create a better quality of life for you

and others that's a critical skill set so moment to moment in life is controlled by our states you know if you're an angry state you're going to respond differently than if you're feeling playful but what controls those states long term is your model of the world your world view and i look at that as having as a metric three things that i look at i look to see first what are the targets you're after the target is everybody has everyone has different goals and dreams and desires but as i traveled around the world to 100

countries i started going holy [ __ ] i'm seeing the same problems what's underneath it i began to see that there are these same six human needs that we all have the same needs we all have a need for certainty that we can avoid pain and we can have some pleasure some comfort we all need uncertainty we need variety or we feel dead inside if you're totally certain you're bored if you have total variety you're like freak out and it's not a balance it's learning which of these you need more as a person everyone's developed

a different set of values in that area um need of the need for significance to feel unique special important they need to feel loved the need to grow and they need to contribute some people value certainty at the top of their list that's their center of their target i don't want to do anything else i know it's going to work i don't do anything unless it's the same if you change anything they freak out if certainty is the number one thing on your list everyone has the same needs but if it's number one i know

how your life's gonna be i can predict the direction of your life and therefore the destination to some extent if you're driven by love first you want certainty too but love is higher you're gonna behave very differently than if you're driven by significance i have to be the one so i look to see which of those needs are the top two on your list because they control your life the two that most people have 90 of the planet if you said of all these needs which one do you really focus on most day day-to-day everybody

wants love what do you focus on most people focus on being significant we live in a facebook world where people fake their life put new filters make it look different than it really is tell stories that you know are totally full of it to make themselves look good because we live in this kind of false world where significance is more important than love and it separates us and the other one that we see most often is certainty people want to be certain before they can do something you couldn't have started a business like you had

if you were absolutely certain before you started you can never build a business with that you can never build a great relationship because if it's based on certainty then everybody's got to stay the same never change which means you're never going to grow which means you're going to be miserable so my metrics are i want to find out what's driving you i want to see is it healthy or unhealthy you can have two people be driven by significance though and do it with a different set of rules that's the second piece i measure the beliefs

or rules of how to fulfill that target but i want to be more clear about something an extraordinary life is life on your terms and there's two parts part one to have an extraordinary life is mastering the skill of the science of achievement how do i take what i envision and make it real and how do i do that quicker faster better easier the ability to manifest what you come up with and make it real like you've done with your company yes that's a skill set i spend unbelievable amount of time helping people do it

faster quicker better showing the shortcuts teaching in the strategies modeling what works you can save yourself a decade but i would submit to you that having done this for 38 years with you know 50 million people at this stage i can tell you that the science of achievement there are a lot of people that are damn good at that and they still don't have an extraordinary life they have an extraordinary life you see it as extraordinary but i get the phone call from the multi-billionaire who tells me he wants to do this thing on his

business but what he really find out is he's miserable as hell and he's hoping somehow i'm going to rub off on him on that side too and so i give him what he asked for the change in his business but i also get what he needs which is the change inside of him so the second skill is the art of fulfillment if you want extraordinary life you can't just achieve you got to be fulfilled as simplistic as that sounds but it's an art it's not a science it's a science to making money come on any

age any color any background any gender if you do these things you'll have an abundance of money you do these things you're going to have too much month at the end of the month you're going to financial stress right body everyone's biochemically different but you and i both know there's fundamental rules laws there's a science in the body you violate that science you're going to have disease you're going to have low energy you align with that you're going to have an abundance of energy it's going to affect everything in your life it's a science fulfillment's

not like that fulfillment is as different as our human beings you wanna know what god or the universe likes look at the jungle look at the forest right it's diverse right so most people think well i want to get that because they've been modeling somebody else and that might work on how to achieve something it'll never work for what a fulfill you how many people you know like you got what you thought you wanted and you weren't fulfilled and that i always tell people success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure the ultimate failure because if

you go out something and you fail and you're an achiever you don't fail you go i learn something i'll just try something else i'm gonna still get there but when you succeed and you're not happy so a perfect example this i mentioned in the seminar you were there because it hit me about it what about a year and a month ago we lost what i consider a national treasure robin williams and i ask people how many love robin wins everybody racing all around the world right he made people laugh people are touched by him so

how good was he at the science of achievement i mean he wanted to be a great comedian make the whole world laugh he did he wanted to have his own tv show he didn't want the number one show he did it he wanted to make movies he did he wanted to have an academy award for not being funny dramatic and he did it right he did it yeah he said he wanted a beautiful family he achieved everything and he hung himself and i know recently someone's saying well you know he had dementia he had drug

abuse he had alcohol abuse most of his life because he made everybody happy but whom himself that's the ultimate failure so if i had no other message to offer your viewers and you let me give it to him right now i'll tell you what i believe i believe our lives are controlled by one force decisions i certainly believe in force greater than myself call it god if you will grace whatever you want to call it the universe but i also believe it gives us choices and the decisions we make control us much more than the

conditions we meet it's not the conditions it's your decisions decisions what to believe decisions what to do decision what to give i say to people think about you know look back 10 years ago five years ago 15 years ago and think of a decision you made that if you would have made a different decision you'd have a totally different life today better or worse i don't know but totally different the most important decision you can make above any on the face of the earth is deciding that no matter what happens in your life no matter

what happens you're going to live in a beautiful state the decision to say i am not going to suffer that if suffering arises pain is one thing suffering is another suffering is when you're like suffering could be worry it could be anger can be frustration it's anything that takes you out of a beautiful state and here's what people don't get you can end suffering by stop focusing on yourself and focus on something you want to serve greater than yourself your children your wife your mission your life you can get out of it in an instant

because the nature of the human mind is to constantly compare things your mind your brain is a two million year old device and it is not designed to make you happy it's designed to make it so designed to make you survive right and that's why it's always looking for what's wrong it used to be what's wrong a saber-toothed tiger so i can protect myself now people are worried about what people think about them or do they have enough money when two-thirds of the planet lives on two dollars a day right and you're making 38 thousand

dollars you're rich the poorest of the poor in our country are considered rich that's not i'm not saying they should stay that way right but you can only build on success my goal would have you consider something life is short we don't know how short it's going to be but if you only had a week to live i bet you wouldn't allow yourself to suffer over a little crap that makes you crazy normally i think you would probably spend time with those you love you would do what you love you take on a sunset you'd

smell the air you were taking everything in those final moments that you possibly do so my thing is why wait right right why wait why not just decide that if i start to suffer i know the solution because suffering is me obsessing about me you might say it's not me i'm worried about my kids because they're not doing well no you're worried that you haven't done enough for your kids it's about you still right yes you know you're worried about what was done or what you should have done or what shouldn't have done and you

can end that in an instant by becoming aware of it and saying i have made the most important decision of all right i'm going to live in a beautiful state because here's what's going to happen anybody watching you may lose a family member you probably will somebody may get cancer your business may the government might change the rules they might change things radically you can't even do anything about it you might go bankrupt you might get divorced i don't say anybody will but no sure no one knows what's going to really happen in your life

life's full of uncertainty but here's what you can know you can decide no matter what happens you could have a great time if somebody like victor frankl can be locked up in auschwitz and come out of that an experience finding joy in the middle of auschwitz then human beings have a capacity they've undersold themselves on we think that the outside world determines how we feel if if people have to behave a certain way if your husband or your wife or your kids or your coworkers or whoever your boss has to behave a certain way for

you to be happy and if they don't you're unhappy then you're always going to be unhappy because the more people around you the more they're going to change that because they're all human right my invitation is as great as it is to achieve more important to enjoy and if you can enjoy every moment in that state when you're feeling loving and playful and passionate and curious and awe you treat other people 100 times better when you're feeling frustrated pissed off overwhelmed worried stressed or feeling sorry for yourself you're going to be a better parent you're

going to be a better lover you're going to be a better business person you're going to have a better life so my soliloquy is decide decide today and actually say what if i cut it off what if i said i'm not willing to settle and i'm just going to live in a beautiful state doesn't mean you won't feel bad and it means you won't stay there you instantly change but what the hell is success it's hitting an expectation and i always tell people man trade your expectations for appreciation it's a whole new world instantly if

you can appreciate this moment if you can't find ecstasy in this moment in a conversation with a friend and looking in your wife's eyes being with your children going on a run if you can't find xc now i'm here to tell you more money more people more love more business more anything is not going to give you more you got if you can't do it here now you're not going to do it there when you got more so why not do it now and have a rich life right now i tell people money that's one

thing like having financial abundance there's skills that's a science but wealth it's a decision it's like you can be wealthy right now i live in fiji a good portion of time there are these villagers there they're the richest people i know they're happy they laugh they love they don't give a damn about the economics other people say they're poor when i first went there was trying to do things for them like what are you talking about i'm so happy wealthy people come over from the united states and they go travel around and try to figure

out what to do and they're going to spend nine month you know years to do this and this and this so they can finally sit down and be happy and the jean guy goes why don't you sit on the beach right now dude experience it why spend the nine years why not have it now that's my invitation [Music] [Music] you