How To Create Content That Influences People ft. Phil M. Jones | #TheDept Ep. 41

you've got to get your content to a point that your content is the answer to every question when you have skills to do that you can lead better you can be a better friend you can be a better listener you can be a better business person you can be a better entrepreneur one of the easiest ways to become a better Communicator is to just study communication you don't have to go to school to study communication it's happening all around you and it just dispels the myth that being a good communicator is I've got the gift

of the gap or they're just quick on their feet or they just always know what to say at the lowest lowest level it starts with care yet the big mistake that almost everybody makes when they're trying to communicate to other people is they tell the me story The M my ey story what is the goal of communication if you want to win as a communicator the only thing that you have to definitely always do is dude so funny cuz I don't know if you remember uh I first heard you in October of 2023 okay at

Irwin's event his his first event of the Arena yeah and I as someone who does I think like when you're trying to become a better Communicator you become a student you decide to be a student and then you start noticing great communicators right and I would say I mean that that day was jam-packed probably I don't know 8 to 12 communicators that day and you you spoke and this was the first time I saw you speak and heard of you and you had an ability to get a room to include myself somebody who like I

I love being sold and I but I love being sold like in a good way we do yeah and uh long story short you got the whole room to get your book and um I I think a lot of people ask me like Omar how do you get these kind of guests you know well I just went up to you and said hey man I just started a podcast um you ever in Vegas right you know planted a seed I don't know where that's going to go uh it is cool to say like where we

at like maybe nine nine months and then in that time we had a moment where you came to the studio you did that conversation with Neil yeah which is phenom and um and no I just I I appreciate you for being open to do this and I know you said that you come to Vegas often but more than that I I also wanted to highlight that sometimes it doesn't work out but sometimes it does and here we are at 7:30 in the morning often it does and it just takes time yeah and it takes um

persistency so doesn't matter whether it's you asking me for a show or whether it's somebody at home that is watching this conversation right now and thinking that they'd like to have something to happen it just tells you if you don't ask you don't get yeah that's good you still got to create some space for it right you still got to keep showing up it's not like ask once and hope the other person's then going to chase up on the response it's got to be like hey I see you're in Vegas yeah and then stay true

to the ask yeah and so you know Warren Buffett says that if you can better your communication you can twox your value sure um at least at least yeah and I've seen my finances change because I've be I've been intentional yeah can we just start off by you defining what is the goal of communication well I mean everything is communication whether it's good bad or indifferent right we're communicating in a thousand different ways in every interaction we have I think more about not what is communication but what is good communication or what is intentional communication

with intention and purpose if I take that touch wider as well is people often look at good communication as influence or persuasion or the ability to be able to you know shape or steer an outcome and that can get confused with manipulation yeah very easily and the fine line between manipulation and influence to me is just Integrity it's do you care enough to lead a conversation towards a purpose that supports and serves the outcome either of the moment or the other person more than you care about yourself and when you have skills to do that

you can lead better you can be a better friend you can be a better listener you can be a better business person you can be a better entrepreneur because of the fact that you you don't have to be behind or ahead of the moment so I'm going to share something pretty interesting I didn't intend to go here today but people um they cannot write perform and edit at the same time yeah almost every human being on the planet tries to write perform and edit at the same time and every conversation and interaction they go into

so what they're trying to do is they're trying to write in their head what they're saying whilst they're saying it whilst they're thinking about the thing they just said that's right perform an Eddie at the same time is stupid so to be a more intentional Communicator you firstly have to say well there are many known moments that I'm stepping into that I care about that moment ahead of time so I'm going to put some more thoughtful thought into being ready and ready for it and it just dispels the myth that being a good communicator is

I've got the gift of the gab or they're just quick on their feet or they just always know what to say well no they just cared enough to say that I'm going to be a pro in that moment I'm going to get ready for that moment and I'm not going to have to overly think about what I'm saying in the moment because I'm building from a repertoire just like a great musician could piano and not have to say can you give me the sheet music they're like I know the notes I know what I'm doing

therefore I cons serve the experience and the environment that's around me yeah it's really good I I think about like you know you're like in the Overflow state so like maybe it is second nature now right um but Abraham Lincoln says prepare yourself and perhaps your time will come right and uh the reality I think everyone doesn't realize that their time is coming whether they prepare themselves or not U perhaps but like it's easy to think it's second nature and I think a lot of us fall into that lazy trap of like just because somebody's

good at something you think they can stop trying and it's not true like this morning at 5:15 a.m. I'm in the room where I'm speaking tomorrow without anybody else in there working the floor mapping the space giving consideration to the tweaks and adjustments I'm going to bring towards my speech with nobody else in the room wow I'm probably going to deliver a speech pretty close to something I've done before but not the same same why because I care enough to say who's in the room that's different how's the moment different why is this event and

my place in the lineup different and therefore you can you kind of raise your own bar of performance by raising your own Stakes of what it is that you're doing and then getting ready for a higher level W and therefore it becomes easier to operate at the level that's been expected of you so and if it becomes easier you make it look easy and that's why it looks like an overflow correct yeah correct d That's so good but it's just obnoxious prep is what it really is uh so I mean I I like that you

say Integrity cuz I'll be guilty bro like when I because I I I'll oftentimes uh preach on a Sunday at my church okay that that's like the Omar Pastor hat he puts on you know yeah that I put so much time and intention in writing those sermons right but when it comes to like teaching on social media personal brand and all that stuff I've been doing video for 15 years and I you and maybe I maybe it's a level of conviction that I'm feeling right now cuz I will just hey Omar can you just do

this web class do it of course sure I got this yeah what what you become though is either a talented amateur or a lazy professional if that's the the route you're going you right and there are many talented amateurs out there but if somebody's a talented amateur it's pretty easy to beat them yeah over time right if you just keep showing up and learning the skills you keep putting in the practice you keep working on getting better you'll Out Pass any talented amater and we've seen this in our high schools ET ET right is the

kid that was super talented at XYZ that was leaps ahead of everybody else in the program then relied upon their Brilliance in that environment and fast forward 20 years where are they now yeah like unless they put the discipline into their skills they just were lucky to stay on that level and they didn't get to work on the other things and what Pros do is they practice every day what Pros do is they spend more time practicing than they do on the on the field of play yeah and the result of which is when they're

on the field of the play they're ready and they're ready for those little moments that when you win those little moments those compound up to the bigger things really good so what for you when did you realize like I'm gonna I'm G to crush it at this I don't know I'll let you know when I get there um I think there becomes an intentionality that if you want to win you have to compare the whole of you to the whole of whoever else is in your field of play it's very easy to look at what

other people people are doing and social media space is a great example of that right is like well my videos are better than blank so why am I not blowing up or why don't I have the following that they have Etc it's easy to bring the comparison but an early Mentor said to me if you're going to compare it's not a bad thing you just have to compare the whole of them to the whole of you I'm like oh that works compare the whole of with the whole of so how does that relate to to

to my story and where I'm at is is to get better I've just been a student of success I just look at anybody who's better better anything than I am and instead of saying wow I'll ask the question how like how do they do what they do how have they done what they've done and sometimes you're asking how in conversations with real people like we're in right now sometimes you're asking how of yourself and through observation and sitting back one of the easiest ways to become a better Communicator is to just study communication and you

don't have to go to school to study communication it's happening all around you as somebody who travels as much as I do I like get a PhD in Behavioral Science just by sitting in an airport watching people like it's happening all around you can see actions reactions responses just from observing life but too many people are like locked down in here on their cell phones everywhere they go and they're not watching communication happen and they eroding their own skill because they're not aware of the consequences of what comes out of their mouth and how they

show up in conversations hey question for you what would your business look like if it got the attention that it deserved you probably wouldn't even have a business problem most people don't have a business problem they have an awareness problem this is why you're invited to join me on the next content to cash challenge that is coming up in 5 days you're going to be getting the system that I have implemented in my business that's allowed me to be a part-time seven figure entrepreneur yes because I built my personal brand online it's opened up opportunity

more importantly it's given me more time to spend with my family and my community the link to join this challenge is down in the description below and I want to encourage you to take the VIP experience where I'll be doing 1 hour of Q&A every day of the challenge and nowhere else do I Avail myself in this capacity and so I hope to see you on the content to cast challenge coming up okay so you say like you get the repetitions but did you did you have like a few voices that you were like these

hundreds like Frankenstein's monsters versus of voices is is the first thing you have to do is to care then when you care you've got to be on the Relentless quest for better it's no different to you and your YouTube channel is you decided you wanted to do it cuz you saw some other people do it you did it a few times and you kind of suck when you first do it and then you start looking around at where other people are doing it better and you're borrowing little pieces of notes and I'm setting up a

studio right now back in our new office space and stepping in here this morning the first thing I'm doing I'm looking at like cables and like stands and and arms and things because there's aund choices you can make them yeah and if you don't have to make all a 100 choices to get to the choice that's right then you FastTrack so you're looking at mentors you're looking at listening to CDs and tapes I've been watching speakers since I was 12 I had Jim Rowan CDs in my car I thought when I'm old and gray one

day I'd like to be a professional speaker you then find yourself in leadership positions so I was leading teams of 30 40 50 60 people at 18 19 20 years of age and everybody was twice my age and I got a lot of age discrimination in those environments where like I was 19 and I looked about 13 so people are like this kid's my manager like WTF that can't be cool what do we do about that and I learned I could never get people to do anything I would tell them to do like no way

would that work so all I do is I just study the other successful people in the organization and if I see somebody was crushing it in something that I knew you am I wanted to get better at I wouldn't tell you what to do I'd say hey I've been watching what rich is doing and and you know that rich is getting significantly better results than you in this one area and there's three things that rich does that you don't do would you like to know what those three things are you're like yeah yeah give me

give me so I would coach and lead and train other people just through being a third person messenger W that's really cool and what starts to happen when you do that is you get Clues from the habits that are put down by top performers and outside of the normal hard work grit determination hustle product knowledge like all the table Stakes Stu the one thing that blew my mind from a commonality and every great performer in those retail sales environments was they all had efficiency in their word tracks they'd all built um not so much scripts

but models and playbooks and Frameworks that for the common and recurring moments that they stepped into on repeat they had utility so good and that utility gave them efficiency that efficiency gave them conversion and then amongst those there then becomes like repetitions of sequences of words I've just been re-engineering from other people's Brilliance since oh good the I'm in a mastermind and the guy that runs it he's a brilliant Communicator he has he took the alphabet yeah and for any question that is surrounding the word like he uses like literation or suffix or prefixes in

you know in threes okay to create this Arsenal yeah that when yes when you go through a Q&A you have you almost every time you answer a question there's a framework or something he's memory ped it out everywhere yeah and he's like this is how you get people to like surround you in a hallway is like because people are like what the heck this guy's brilliant and he's like no I just was intentional and I took the time over my career to have to build these out y yeah and I think a simple example of

that is if you want people to surround you in a hallway because you've got wisdom to share with them you have to be able to communicate to them yet the big mistake that almost everybody makes when they're trying to communicate to other people is they tell the me story The M my ey story yeah and the that's how you can tell right away that like you're really starting out yeah we were at um a sort of cocktail happy hour last night and it was interesting I was there with a with a friend of mine called

Dave and it was a mixer that we were on the side of really we weren't part of it but there was one person in the group that Dave wanted to catch before we went to dinner and that classic example of people came up to us assumed we were part of the exact same group that we're on the side of spent 23 minutes waxing lyrical at me ask me not a single question telling me everything about how my market must be yeah because the only thing she knew is that I live in New York City so

she just assumed that I was a lone originator in New York and told me everything about how to do my job as a l originator in New York City and I'm not a lone originator in New York City yeah the 23 minutes of of nervous life yeah just expunged on me with no questions and no input and no value at the end of it it was like it was great to meet you she said I'm like you didn't meet me was my inside voice wow um but it it happens everywhere yeah like a lack of

self-awareness sometimes how did you grow in your self-awareness I think I'm naturally introverted is people make assumptions that just because you can jump on a stage and speak in front of thousands of people that you're are hyper confident or that you are looking to be the life and soul of the party can turn it on like it's a switch but my natural behavior is to to be introverted and one of my favorite phrases is that the second mouse gets the cheese and when you think about that literally like the first Mouse ends up in mous

trap correct yeah the beauty in that statement that I can't stop thinking about is how hard is it to be the second mouse I can understand that it's it's hard to win it's even harder to intentionally come second like how do you get the silver medal on purpose M you can come last you can do your best and see where you land but how do you come second on purpose and in influential moments in conversation it's the ability to know how to come second that is the superpower it's how can you be the second voice

in the conversation not the third fourth fifth sixth 7th 8th nth the second and then you can hold Court I like that and I like that because it's encouraging to know that don't have to be the first and if you if you see something someone doing it great or doing something awesome it's okay that you stand on the sidelines exactly stand on the sidelines and wait for your moment and your moment will come and if you have the ability to observe what youner is the most useful tool in conversation and in communication as a whole

you got a context the missing ingredient for you to be able to articulate your value for you to be able to share your Brilliance for you to be able to tell somebody that you can help them for you to be able to sell your services it's your context of scenario and too many people miss their chance to gain the context they go straight past it and then what they're trying to communicate is they're trying to communicate to avoid that they know nothing about for they're guessing yeah and it's a spray and pray technique of either

trying to help somebody in a leadership environment where it's advice monster or it's trying to sell something without understanding that the other person may or may not need it there's a thing we teach in our certification programs which is never ever ever ever ever ever ever ever ever tell somebody that they should do anything by anything except any piece of advice unless you can say these words first and the words would encourage them to say first are the words because of the fact that you said because of the fact that you said blank blank and

blank then for those reasons I'd recommend you do blank blank and blank that's influenced because your influence is with the emotional intelligence that you understand the needs requirements obstacles puzzles problems that exist in the other person's life it's not about embellishing the features and benefits of your brilliant idea your brilliant product your brilliant service about being able to show them that either your idea your product or your service is going to help them achieve something that they've said is important to them yeah that easy that hard yeah because I think we're you know there's a

lot of people wanting to like start courses yeah like and I'm I'm trying to become like the guy that says don't start a course because in Essence what people are doing is they're thinking that if I can just hunker down for a couple hours yeah and shoot all this content and because I I I I would believe that this is all people need but number one that will get outdated very quickly you're not considering context of the the other person watching it from the other side uh unless you've been doing it for decades maybe you

can get a little bit of that but adding a level of you know actual either group calls or on to one make it a program and that way it would actually be more beneficial you should never put something in a course unless you've trained it multiple times to real life audience like what right do you have to believe that tens of thousands of people are going to find this valuable online when you haven't found three people in a room that have said that was useful yeah like get get like the one to one the one

to three the one to eight to go that works and you got to round it off like I and I give some credibility of where I'm coming from here is I've been in the personal development info space since around 2007 so we've been in this world for a while before podcasts I had a um a a weekly and then a monthly newsletter that we sent to people but it was an audio newsletter it was a 72 minute CD we physically mailed them put them in envelopes and send them out to people we've been doing books

CD programs physical binders of products like what happens when somebody comes up to you and they're like bro I have the original CD I love it I love it we we're building like something out in the new office space where it's like a little bit of a treasure tra for wall it's fun to watch the story but like we've been doing courses before people even knew what an online course was like You' get the binders you get stuff shipped out your home Etc it's being fun but how do you get to do that is because

what you're doing is your packaging experience if you haven't got the experience don't package it because you're just packaging an idea you're just packaging a guess and that's irresponsible good it's a big risk and I I wrote my little book exactly what to say and people say how long did it take you to write the book and this is a book that's now sold over three million copies and in 30 odd different languages Etc and my real answer is I did it in a weekend like you did it in a weekend I'm like yeah I

I wrote the book in a weekend they're like yeah but how and and my answer is well one is its material I've been workshopping for about 20 years trained it to around 800 different Industries been sprinkling it into speeches for somewhere like ever two is it's actually the rewrite of a book that I wrote called magic words three is I'd recently produced an audio program for a very specific Niche industry called exactly what to say that I'd um sold as a 30,000 unit 3 disk CD set that was very well received of the content so

what I did is I took the transcription of the 3 disk CD I ran it through a transcription service I got that back I used that as the foundation from my book I built the Learned experience in it and a day and a half into it I've got a manuscript wrote it in a weekend but what I then did is I edited it through every possible lens that I could think would be useful so I took the book start to finish and I said well if I'm a new salesperson how would this help me I

took the book and said well if I'm an experienced business leader how would this help me I took the book and said well if I'm a mother of two kids looking to start a side hustle how would this help me if I am an experienced photographer how would this help me I'm an accountant how would it help me I and I I took it through like 50 different avatars and edited it top to bottom through them because if you want to create something that has Universal appeal you don't create vanilla ice cream yeah what you

look to be able to do is you look to be able to say I need to know all the people that in capsulate the everybody I'm looking to serve and check it to fit for all of them not create something that has all the sharp edges around yeah how you land on principles correct and principles can apply to Industry and that's the cool thing about the book exactly what to say as well is that I get some Flack sometimes they're like it's not a real book look at it it's tiny you can read it cover

to cover in 72 minutes Point can I tell you like The Genius of it because if you go to an event and you do your thing where everybody in the room listens to it everyone's got at least an hour and a half home flight minimum or drive so I was able to be immersed in your Genius from the time you spoke on your event and then because that book is fairly short yeah I was able to consume it even and then I was like dude this is actually like a great like we people have the

webinars they have like the the zoom calls but this was great because you automated something that you know we a lot of people who want to get better have audibles and stuff like that so and they good to go and Kindle download instantly and and even the book is a paperback on purpose we CU jump the hard cover version because I'm looking for it to live in a glove box of somebody's car I'm looking for it to be in the bag then get kicked around and dogged and Post-it notes in ETC intention in the product

design yeah it's crazy how important I I I've been told that that people don't buy what you sell they buy what you say yeah and disagree or agree I don't disagree they buy what you say um I I think people buy a lot of things so they may well buy what you say I think they buy a feeling I think one of the things that people buy books for is because it makes them feel smarter um I think people buy a perceived outcome so some form of either guaranteed or highly predictable different set of circumstances

or outcome as a result of the interaction this is why many people struggle even to sell a course or to sell a program or sell their services is because they're talking about the product not the outcome of what that product could mean to other people and people say you need the features and the benefits I'm like no you need the benefit of the benefit of the benefit you got to keep going on this and and nobody wants the haircut they don't want the haircut because it's going to make them look younger don't want the haircut

because it's going to make them look more professional they don't want like they you keep digging and you keep digging and you keep digging it's like no they want their husband or spouse or partner Etc to continually to find them sexy if you keep digging right like there's something like that or they want a A reinvention in the workplace that's going to allow them to be able to perceived at a higher level towards a promotion it's like no they didn't want a haircut they wanted a promotion yeah how do you how do you how can

you help people see that benefit of what it is they do because I find this is what I essentially say that is it's like taking what you do or help people with and having it have more appeal sure when you focus on the the outcome or the payoff yeah or the benefit uh because you you said like we're always in the weeds especially when we're first starting out you know in our businesses what I would do if I don't know that about my customers my consumers my people even your spouse or or friend is that

ask a two question questionnaire and the two question questionnaire goes like this the first question is what three things do you like best about so give me a profession for starters and we'll play this any content creation content creation so I'd go to your primary customer base your most loyal fans and I'd say what three things do you like best about and maybe even do this in the comments for Omar now is like what three things do you like best about Omar's Channel answer those questions then you can ask the second question of this question

and the second question is if there was one thing you could change about it what would the one thing and what you learn from those two questions is profound you could do the same with a friend that you care about hey what three things do you like best about our relationship and the value that I bring to it and hey if there was one thing that we could change about it what would the one thing be how much would life get better if you just ask those two questions and listen to the answers what it

does is it provides a frame that is when you ask somebody what three things they like best they give you a very specific sequence the first thing they tell you is the first thing they can think of the second thing they'll tell you is almost certainly their favorite or most important thing and the third is their favorite nice to have like the sprinkles on the top of the cupcake and the reason that's true is imagine you're at a fair ground right and you got to shoot a basketball through a hoop to win a stuffy a

cuddly toy Etc what do you do with the first ball you take the ball and you just like you size the thing up right you have a go and see how this works and if it swoops like now we're good but the likelihood is you miss with one so what do you now do with three shots the second one is the most important shot I need to get this one right you get yourself steadied you start to think about it you don't want to be embarrassed and not get the stuffy so you you Loop that

one and you swoop it and now you're good you got the stuffy in the bag the next shot's just for fun so here you get a chance to play that's why when you ask somebody what three things they like best you get more meaningful information the mistake that many people make is they ask questions like what's your favorite thing what's your number one what's your top takeway these are stupid questions and I'll explain why they're stupid questions because they're hard to answer like what's your favorite place to eat in the world good night right you

got an answer if you got an answer that You' given before yeah but if I said to you like what's your favorite means of um what's your favorite railway station in England I don't know yeah but if I said what are your some of your favorite ways that you like to travel what are some of your favorite ways when that comes into head and out of mouth there's no processing yeah like what's the favorite place you've ever visited ah I've visited so many different places I've got to sequence all these things so whenever you speak

in absolutes you make it very hard for the other person we're going to be at a two-day conference here and somebody's going to say what's your top takeaway they're going to say it to somebody like having just consumed 16 hours of insane insane content to say what's your top takeaway and you're like I don't know yet I haven't decided whereas if you said what's maybe one thing or something that's front of mine right now that you think you might put into practice as a result today you deliver it loose and fluffy they tell you the

top takeaway yeah that's so good it like that the way you ask the questions right and Hyper intentionality behind questions this is why you say it all this stuff can make you better at parent ing at being a husband or a wife or a leader or a content creator um a speaker like you said when you went to the room this morning you said you actually verbalized all the questions you asked yourself right H like where's this room where are people like well yeah I I would I guess the question that I would like to

ask you is uh is there like some go-to questions on top of those two like I know you said those two but let's say you didn't have anyone to ask that question to you asked yourself those question question um the kinds of questions that you ask yourself stepping into a high stakes environments is is like what should I definitely not forget today then also how can I make this fun for me and then also where am I sitting in the bigger picture so in a speech environment this is obviously but it's like who comes before

me who comes after me what's the energy of the space going to be but isn't that same thing true if you're stepping into your house at the end of the day you might have something you want to share or something you want to say but what what is the field of play what is my role on that field of play at that given moment in that given situation in time and this is the emotional intelligence that's mostly missing people aren't reading the moment they're so up in their own head about self self self what I

want to share and as a as a speaker people have said to me often is like do not get nervous speaking in front of a large audience and my answer is well yeah of course I get nervous just because otherwise I wouldn't care and they're like well you're doing an hour to 6,000 people and I'm like well it's not about my hour it's about 6,000 hours of productivity of some of the most highly uh driven highly valuable entrepreneurs in the world that are getting together at an event I'm not responsible for an hour speech I'm

responsible for 6,000 hours of productivity that's a different gig so how would I translate that same thing as a content creator well if you want a 100 people to watch your videos and your video is 10 minutes long then behave like you're responsible for 100 times 10 minutes but if you want to have 250,000 views on your video and your video is an hour long then care about the fact that you're responsible for 250,000 hours of productivity of people and that raising of self Stakes allows you to get ready and prepare in a different way

too too many people like I'm turning out my short video If you want it to get to scale treat it like it has the scale prepare for it like it has the scale and create it like it's for an audience as big is what you might want and it's kind of Kevin Coster field of dream stuff right is build it and they will come yeah or at least at least envisage that you are getting ready for a bigger moment than the one that you're currently serving you've kind of bridged so many ways of communicating and

you see all the ways that you can communicate we have actually speaking on stages yeah front of people both virtually and in person you have written copy or written books emails and things like that we have video what have you seen as most effective people say to me even with things like the books that we've written is like like how does this work on social media how does this work on like on the internet on web pages Etc my response is is these are tools that help in conversational language conversational language can exist in every

modality I was doing a training session for a large grou group of multi-level marketers the other day and they asked me to look at their messaging and obviously what they're trained on is lots of copypaste DMS lots of like here's what I did you should send the same and and there were a number of big mistakes that I saw in their Communications on repeat and I just Consolidated it back into a training piece that I share with them and one of the first big mistakes was putting too much information into the written word the mistake

that many people make when they are even responding to comments in content or when they are responding to DMS or interest is they show up and throw up and I'll share a simple review process like I got quite a few reviews for a book online and people say to me Phil I loved your book right like that's the inbound message that comes on Insta wherever it might come they say I love the book most people's response to that is like thank you so much and they just shut the conversation down with a like a monologue

or thank you so much like the the best form of thank you you can give me is to go to the Amazon page and do me a review and like the person just said yeah so instead slow the process down and allow communication to play backwards and forwards this is riskier but you operate in a gray space gray spaces are humanizing because they are imperfect people want to be like what's the black or the white answer to this I'm like no we stay in the gray gray spaces are safe spaces because they're play spaces here's

where you can create change because both people are changing at the same time if you want to influence others you have to be open to influence let's just play this same example out from a review piece I told this group that they show up and throw up too much they're like no we don't look at all this stuff I show them like oh yeah maybe we do so what happens is I show them my review process somebody says love the book I'm like wow thank you so much like is there something specific in the book

that stood out to you that that that made you feel like it was worth outreaching today and there's a hesitancy even in what I'm typing here and then they'll gush about something very practical that made the book work wow that's amazing I'm like and then how are you going to use that in your world like how's that going to impact what's going to happen next we you and they tell me they're the ones that are writing the big responses like this is cool and then I say um where'd you buy the book and they tell

me and more often than not it's Amazon like wow I said um did you buy it yourself on Amazon or did somebody buy it for you they said I bought it myself say have you ever left an Amazon now there's a yes no answer right M either way I'm winning yeah they say yes you say well how would you feel about maybe leaving one for the book they'll say yeah you say you're probably wondering what to write if you're wondering what's a right you just wrote it or if they say no they say how would

you feel about me being your first and we drive reviews like crazy good but what is there there's a 678 9 part exchange on there people do it I'm sure no doubt on comments on your video they're like hey that was super useful thanks bro loved it and you go thank you I loved making it literally three emojis three fire emojis three pound emojis yeah it ends the conversation but if you want to this could go b boom b boom b boom and you could have six seven eight nine and this is why I get

exhausted even on the social media game because like if I'm going to do it right in comments to build a channel and those things I only know the way of doing it right and that is timely that takes a lot of energy to sit there and have 17 minute conversations back and forth with everybody who interacts with you yeah and by alternative it's like well let's set up many chat and then automate this whole thing so so we get them into our funnel and then drip all over them and hope it's going to work is

I I think those models are are going to have diminishing returns for everybody and we're ignorant to think they won't because we've had a decade where every content creator has benefited from globalization and the access to technology and your little world got this big overnight because you could get customers everywhere but that same thing has now happened for everybody so all these circles just overlap and overlap and overlap and now we're back at bursting capacity none of us are looking for more apps on our phone none of us are looking for more emails in our

inbox none of us are looking to spend more time on our devices so you need to earn the relationships that you want for the people that you're looking to serve at a greater level than you ever have done before and the tool for doing it is conversation so good like I think I find myself asking you questions for like surface level things and you're you're always you you are very intentional and I think it's just like you're a you're you're like you love The Human Experience so much that you can sense you know where it's

going and but what still will always matter there's a button that lives inside the head of every decision maker on the planet and it's a button that I've learned to call the show me that you know me button if you want to win as a communicator the only thing that you have to definitely always do is hit the show me that you know me button once you hit the show me that you know me but now we're on the same side we're traveling in the same direction we're we're in alignment and I think too many

people try and fight Upstream that they're looking to win the argument win the point win the sale Etc and they're in competition instead just get aligned and show the other person that you know them and in simple language is if you can show somebody you know them and show them you understand their problems they'll trust you with any solutions you recommend if you try and sell somebody in your solution they'll say that's not the problem and it's friction so if you want to go far today reduce friction reduce friction reduce friction and the way you

reduce friction in conversation is you just stay a few steps ahead of it really good you know um I've kind of like got my a lot of people know me for very technical like helpful tutorials on YouTube yeah and even when I go speak at conferences and stuff I typically I typically bring a tactful you know kind of talk um I've been told by a friend that like I need to start steering away from the tful things on stage okay because it it kind of overwhelms people and you should focus more on like pictures you

know symbolism uh you know I don't know like and and I'm like I'm all I'm all for like getting better because I do I just go straight to like here's well well let's jam on this and see if we can actually refine something live in this conversation so what might be a tactical action that you would teach people from stage in a YouTube fashion so like the the last talk I gave last week it was how to grow a podcast on YouTube okay and I derived it from you know I I really went I was

very intentional on how I started this podcast because I've done it for so many people and I've grown other people's stuff I'm like I'm going to prove it's not luck okay and so I have arrived at essentially what makes YouTube videos um prepare themselves for Max exposure okay and so long story short YouTube is um you know it speaks two languages clickthrough rate yeah average viewer duration okay there two things you that's the only two things you need to obsess about on YouTube what gets a CLI click okay well the title and the thumbnail okay

so being really good at crafting titles and thumbnails which is kind of like a it is like an art form but also I make it simple if you want your title to do well it should read like an article headline okay and then your your thumbnail it's uh your title is for the algorithm your thumbnail is for the click okay and so it does it shouldn't be an exact copy of the title okay I'm going to take some notes as we're doing on this is cool why because we're going to reshape a talk in this

discussion oh I love it let's go um is I hope to be super helpful so what we're saying is clickthrough rate average view duration average VI duration it's like the foundation of a successful YouTube video sure and what's the main point of the speech like the main point is essentially how you start your videos yeah determines how your videos are going to perform okay and why does it matter like why do I even want a YouTube channel or highly performing video why should I even get because being able to expedite the trust factor in business

or with a brand could be could could happen digitally and YouTube is the platform to do that okay but but why why should I even care about that in its entirety I've got a good business it's been doing good for so long anyway like why YouTube YouTube because I I believe YouTube's the greatest brand Builder and brand can't be bought okay why do you believe that I believe brand can't be bought because Brand's built over time okay and to pay for a transactional brand is it won't last okay do the rules that apply to YouTube

apply anywhere else yeah I believe in regards to branding yes where where else do they apply I mean they ver online your digital present okay and only online uh it it would be the digitization of your reputation which is what Rory Vaden said Rory will class as a personal brand yeah um but I would say yeah no in person it matters too okay so this is these are principles for Life yes this has nothing to do with YouTube but for sure okay um so this could be a a speech about like your Brilliance Amplified and

I love that could be turned into a series of steps that bear this note with me um that then wow if it's all about the headline well Step One is it's all about the headline it's all about the headline so what's the speech called right now yeah it was how to grow your podcast on YouTube okay and if there was a thousand speeches speeches and that was the title of the speech and it was a giant exhibition Hall and people could choose their own adventure why would people be running to that one as opposed to

any of the other 999 speeches that could come to great question the the event was called the podcast Summit okay people know me as the YouTube guy okay um and I'm not making an assumption YouTube is usually the hardest platform to grow on as opposed to all the other ones okay you know um but would it have been probably more attended like my my talk if the title stronger obviously sometimes you're given the title by the the H the host yeah and sometimes you can give them a better title back like YouTube will give you

a title if you like you can call the video like anything. MP4 and upload it in the way that it was given to you that could be its title if you choose to but you choose to edit it right 100 and what I'd be looking at is I'd be looking to say is how can the talk be an example of the message so if what you've got is to win on YouTube it's this it's this it's this it's this it's this the talk needs to be an example of it too so your holding slide is

a thumbnail your speech title is a video description and it's done on purpose and actually I'd be opening the speech and said well what if the speech was called this or what if the speech was called this or what if the speech was called this or what if the speech was called this people would be like um I'm getting the point so you don't have to make the point with a load of YouTube videos you have to say like how you label and how you package things is going to help somebody decide whether they're going

to want to do business with the same would be true that if you're a hairdresser in the audience you could say do a cut and blow dry or you could say I do a transformational experience that provides you with a brand new image to help create the brand new U like what do you want a brand new image in a brand new U or do you want to cut and blow dry they've got different price points attached to them same is true everywhere but like the the title helps somebody understand whether they want to open

the box yeah so you start to turn these into PR and you start to be able to say well actually I'm building an evergreen torque here that has a number of steps on it really good and then you look at it and go okay well let let's be counterintuitive it is people say like it's the first X number of seconds to make a first impression right what's your view on that on YouTube you want 60% retention after 30 seconds okay and we've grown up in a world where people are like you've got 3 seconds to

make a first impression you've never got a second chance to make a first impression and all this that we've heard for Life you've now got a counterintuitive idea this is actually has nothing to do with the first three seconds it's actually about the first three of a second that's the thumbnail that's the I'm going to judge you in a nanc you've got you haven't got three five seven whatever but you've then got to be able to win all the credibility you need to earn the relationship in 30 seconds or more so when you meet somebody

for the first time how do you captivate in 30 seconds or more in your YouTube video you've got 30 seconds or more when somebody steps into your retail store can you keep them for 30 seconds or more the same principle that shows up on YouTube is now showing up everywhere if you want to be able to win a date and you'd like that person to be a to go on a long-term relationship yeah you got to look the part you got to win the first impression you got to get them to be able to swipe

left or right or whatever it is they're doing and then you got to get them past the first 30 seconds in the day because they're going to make a big decision after 31 32 33 the rules of YouTube or the rules of life like this is what you're starting to be able to build a talk around and you take everything that you know is true as to how to build a podcast on YouTube blah blah blah blah blah and you say well actually how to build an army of followers how to build a reliable reputation

how to build a um a thought leadership personal brand in every area of life you're just going to happen to use YouTube as your credibility point and what you've discovered is the rules that work for YouTube work in every other area of life so I need some work where do people go like do you what like that that sounds like you have a go-to like yeah H I do this stuff for fun and um we do a couple of masterminds a year with people who want to build speaking businesses and I whiteboard things up and

I help them pull a keyot out of their EXP and turn what they've been doing forever into a reliable seven step formula and what or 7 91 whatever it might be but what I believe as thought leaders you've got to get your content to a point that your content is the answer to every question right so if if an organization is puzzled I know the problem the problem is that there are people in their organization that don't know exactly what to say if somebody's having relation ship difficulties is because one of those people or both

those people don't know exactly what if somebody's looking to be able to get a pay rise in their workplace because they don't know exactly what to say if people have a culture issue inside their workplace and they're not getting on with each other it's because they don't know exactly what to it's the answer to every question in my world and I have to be biased on that I know that there are other people who have other answers to the same questions but my answer to the every question is get better at knowing exactly what to

say and chances are you'll make a den even take the current political climate wouldn't things be better if more people just knew exactly what to say you that's what I'd be pushing on your stuff right now is how do you how do you take what you know to be true and put it to test on the big field of play and then zip it back and YouTube is just the metaphor now wow because like when you because that that is that is just like Beyond that's how you preframe preframe people for something and and that

stops you delivering a large format training right at scale that actually that training would be better set where those people are in front of their computers and that they were actually able to take action on it and it moves you into an area of genuine sort of thought leadership yeah where they can learn and go oh I get it I think I think when you say like knowing it you know if they knew exactly what to say or if you knew exactly what to say would you say at at it at the lowest level it

it starts with care always starts with care if you want to change anything in your life you got to start caring about it and not just like kind of care yeah obsessive levels of care yeah caring more than anybody else would care about it in the world and you don't get to win at anything without caring Talent will get you in the game but it will never get you on the podium so good bro this has been amazing thank you for giving me some game I need you to share that document with me and honestly

like I I think I could for a guy like me who like I mean yeah I could spend more prep if I spend more time in prep and probably ask even better questions to myself while I'm preparing oh my goodness like I just I just saw my communication go to another level just by just that few minutes if something is important enough for you to put it on your schedule make it important enough to get ready for the time you put on your schedule okay right if you're saying I'm giving an hour to this then

find an hour at least to get ready for the hour that you've said is important and that again can be simplified down to for me one of the most important critical conversations that I'm relentlessly working in my personal life is what comes out of my mouth in the first 15 seconds when I reenter the home following a trip the amount of thoughtful thought I put onto that is ridiculous because it can change my life you know get it right amp upwards get it wrong I could destroy my life those moments matter dude I appreciate you

where can people find you and buy your stuff um yeah I'm philm Jones so if if you put the middle initial in anywhere you're searching online you'll find me a lot easier than all of the random Phil Joneses in the world um head to exactly whatt say.com you'll find tons of resources there and if people want to continue this conversation best place to find me is Instagram FM Jones UK tell me you found me on Omar show and let me start a conversation and he's going to ask you what was the best thing you got

out of the thing you know was there one thing in particular can you go leave a review on Omar's put it to the test let's go let's go appreciate you thank you thank you thank you