STOP BEING TOO FRIENDLY | THE BEST MOTIVATIONAL SPEECH BY SADHGURU

namaskaram so you want to stop being too friendly this means you have suffered enough yes friendliness is a beautiful thing but being too friendly are that is where the problem begins it means you're not acting out of intelligence but out of compulsion some people they smile at everybody like this even when they don't feel like it you don't have to do this you are not a Salesman selling toothpaste have you noticed the most Silent People in the room they command attention and those who talk too much nobody listens so if you are being too friendly

understand this you are losing value why are you being too friendly is it because you want to be liked because you cannot say no because you are afraid of being alone see the need to be liked is a disease it makes you weak if you go around seeking approval your life is not yours anymore you are being controlled by every person you meet you hold the door open for 10 people and nobody even says thank you you keep giving but they keep taking and one day you wonder why am I always tired because you are

wasting energy where it is not needed let me tell you something you do not need to be friendly with everyone you need to be friendly with life with truth with your own intelligence what happens when you stop being too friendly people will get confused they will ask what happened to you why are you so serious they are not used to seeing you strong but when you stop seeking approval something magical happens you become powerful you don't waste time with nonsense you choose where to invest your energy you don't let people walk all over you and

most importantly you become a person of depth not just a person of smiles if you do not respect yourself do not expect the world to respect you this is the simple truth every day people complain nobody values me people take me for granted but have you ever asked yourself do I value myself because how the world treats you is just a reflection of how you treat yourself look around you have you seen people who walk into a room with confidence who speak only when NE necessary who do not seek approval and yet everyone respects them

and then there are others who are always trying to please always saying yes always available yet no one takes them seriously why the answer is simple self-respect is not about how much you give to others it is about how much you value yourself let's take an everyday example imagine two employees in an office one is always running around trying to help everyone always saying yes I will do it even if they are overloaded they work late skip lunch and respond to messages at midnight the other they work diligently but have boundaries they do their job

well but don't allow others to exploit their time now guess who gets the promotion who gets treated with more respect most of the time it is the second one why because they value their own time their own energy their own dignity people can sense when you do not respect yourself it is in your body language your words your actions if you allow people to walk all over you they will not because they are cruel but because you have not set the boundary have you ever noticed how people treat luxury items differently from cheap ones a

person who buys an expensive was takes care of it they polish it keep it in a box and wear it carefully but a cheap watch they throw it anywhere replace it without a thought Now understand this if you treat yourself like that cheap watch the world will also treat you the same way respect is not something you demand from it is something you earn by how you carry yourself it is not about arrogance it is about dignity let's say you are always the one adjusting for your friends they want to meet at An Inconvenient time

you say no problem they cancel plans at the last minute you say it's okay they talk over you you smile and let it go over time they start seeing you as someone who will always adjust always tolerate now when you finally speak up they get shocked why are you being difficult they ask but were you being difficult no you were simply setting a standard that you should have set from the beginning the truth is when you start respecting yourself some people will be uncomfortable they like the version of you who is always available always adjusting

always saying yes but that is their problem not yours because the moment you begin valuing yourself the right people will start valuing you too some people confuse self-respect with ego they think if I say no people will think I am rude but look at nature does the sun rise and set according to your schedule does a lion ask permission before it Roars no because nature operates on its own dignity you too must learn to stand firm in your own presence let's look at another real life example have you ever seen how a person behaves when

they know their worth when they walk into a room they do not try to please everyone they do not laugh at every joke just to fit in they do not say yes to everything just because they are afraid of rejection instead they choose where to invest their time their energy their attention and because of that people admire them respect them and even seek their approval self-respect is not about fighting with others it is not about proving yourself it is about how you see yourself when you are alone do you speak to yourself with kindness or

do you belittle yourself do you prioritize your own well-being or do you sacrifice your peace just to make others happy I think of a tree if a tree does not stand tall in its own strength it will bend and break with every passing wind but when its roots are deep no storm can shake it similarly when you have self- resect no insult no rejection no opinion can break you so stop waiting for others to respect you the moment you respect yourself the world will follow have you ever noticed how often you say sorry in a

day someone bumps into you and you say oh sorry you ask a simple question and you start with sorry to bother you you express your opinion and immediately follow it up with sorry just my thought it has become a habit a reflex but the real question is why are you apologizing so much most people don't realize this but over apologizing is not just about words it is about how you see yourself every unnecessary sorry is like a small admission that you believe you are an inconvenience to the world that somehow just by existing by taking

up space by expressing yourself you are disturbing others and that is simply not true let's take a simple example imagine you are in a meeting you have an idea that could improve the project but before you speak you say sorry just a quick thought what does that do it immediately weakens the impact of your idea instead of standing strong in your opinion you are already Preparing People to dismiss it now imagine someone else in the same room they share an idea with confidence without hesitation without an apology whose idea do you think people will take

more seriously not because their idea is better but because their energy carries conviction not apology this happens in daily life too you're at a restaurant and the waiter brings you the wrong dish you hesitate and when you finally speak up you say sorry but I think this is not what I ordered why the sorry you are not at fault you are simply asking for what is right but when you apologize unnecessarily it subtly tells people that you are unsure that you are hesitant that you don't want to cause trouble and because because of that people

don't take you as seriously as they should over apologizing is often a result of conditioning as children many of us were taught to be polite to avoid conflict to be agreeable but there is a big difference between being kind and being apologetic for no reason being kind means being respectful but being overly apologetic means you are afraid afraid of being judged of being disliked of being seen as too much and this fear slowly erose your confidence think about the people you admire do they constantly apologize for their existence do they hesitate before sharing their thoughts

no because they know that owning your space your words your actions without unnecessary apology is a sign of self-respect there is a simple test you can do for one day observe how many times you say sorry when you don't actually need to you will be shocked and once you notice it replace it with strength instead of saying sorry for interrupting say EXC excuse me have something to add instead of saying sorry can I ask a question say I have a question these small shifts make a big difference now this does not mean you should never

apologize a genuine apology is powerful if you hurt someone if you make a mistake if you truly regret something then saying sorry is important but when you apologize for things that don't require an apology you are giving away your power imagine you are in a conversation with two people one keeps saying sorry I don't mean to interrupt sorry just my thought sorry I might be wrong and the other speaks with calm confidence without unnecessary self-doubt which person do you think commands more respect people respond to certainty when you speak with conviction people listen when you

hesitate and apologize too much people subconsciously assume that you are unsure that maybe your words are not worth much attention and over time this pattern affects how you see yourself too so from today onwards catch yourself every time you feel the need to apologize ask yourself did I actually do something wrong if the answer is no then hold your ground speak with Clarity make your presence known without shrinking yourself because the world does not need more apologies it needs people who stand firm in who they are saying no is one of the simplest things to

do yet for many people it feels like the hardest why because they are afraid afraid of disappointing others afraid of looking selfish afraid of being seen as rude but let me tell you something every time you say yes when you really want to say no you are betraying yourself and the more you do this the more you teach people that your time your energy and your feelings do not matter they think about the last time you agreed to something you did not want to do maybe a friend asked for a favor and you said yes

even though you were exhausted maybe your boss handed you extra work and even though you were drown in in tasks you said sure I'll handle it maybe someone invited you to an event and instead of being honest you forced a smile and said okay I'll come even though it had no interest and then what happened you felt frustrated you felt drained you felt like you had no control over your own life saying no is not about being rude it is about being clear about your own priorities it is about knowing where your energy should go

and where it should not look at the most successful people in the world do you think they say yes to everything no they say no more than they say yes not because they don't care about others but because they understand that their time is valuable imagine you are a glass of water every yes you give to things that don't serve you is like pouring out a little water say yes too much and soon you will be empty drained exhausted but when you say no where it is necessary you protect your energy you keep yourself full

so that when you do say yes it comes from a place of strength not obligation let's take a real life example imagine your colleague at work keeps asking for your help every day they dump some of their tasks on you and every time you say yes at first you think you're being nice but soon you realize they are doing less while you are doing more one day you finally say I can't help with this today and suddenly they find a way to do it themselves you see some people don't ask because they need help they

ask because they know you won't say no people will take as much as you allow them to if you never set boundaries they will assume you have none but when you start saying no something interesting happens the wrong people get upset but the right people respect you more they realize that your time is valuable that you are not just someone who can be used and most importantly you start respecting yourself many people struggle with guilt when they say no but ask yourself why should you feel guilty for protecting your own peace if saying no makes

someone upset that is their problem not yours the people who truly care about you will understand and the people who get angry they were never interested in you they were only interested in what they could get from you there is a way to say no without being rude you don't have to explain too much you don't have to justify yourself a simple I won't be able to do that or that doesn't work for me is enough the more explanations you give the more people will try to ask argue with you be firm be polite but

do not waver look at children when they don't want something they simply say no I don't want it they don't overthink they don't feel guilty they don't explain themselves for 5 minutes somewhere along the way as we grow up we forget how to say no we start putting others Comfort above our own but the truth is if you live your life trying to please everyone you will end up pleasing no one not even yourself saying no is a skill like any skill the more you practice it the easier it becomes start small say no to

something minor and notice how it feels at first it might feel uncomfortable but over time you will realize that the world does not end when you say no people might be surprised but they will adjust and most importantly you will feel free no is a complete sentence it does not need justification it does not need an apology it simply means that you are choosing yourself and that is not selfish that is self-respect your energy is one of the most valuable things you have yet most people will give it away carelessly they let anyone and anything

drain them useless conversations toxic relationships unnecessary arguments endless distractions and then at the end of the day they wonder why they feel exhausted uninspired and empty it is not because life is hard it is because they did not protect their energy think about your phone battery if you leave 10 apps running in the background keep your brightness at the highest level and never close unnecessary tabs what happens the battery R drains quickly you don't get mad at the phone you know that it's just being used too much your energy works the same way if you

allow everything and everyone to pull from you don't be surprised when you feel drained let's take a simple example imagine you have a coworker who always complains every day they come to you with their problems how they hate their job how their life is unfair how nothing ever works out for them you listen you sympathize you try to give advice but nothing ever changes the next next day they come with the same complaints and the next and the next by the end of the conversation they feel better because they have unloaded their negativity onto you

but you feel worse now your mind is filled with their problems your mood is affected your energy has been drained this is what happens when you do not protect your energy you become a Dumping Ground for other people's negativity you become the person who always listens always helps always says is it's okay I'm here for you even when it's harming your own peace but here's something you must understand not everyone deserves access to you not every problem is yours to solve not every battle is yours to fight protecting your energy does not mean becoming selfish

it means being selective about where you invest yourself it means recognizing when something or someone is constantly taking from you without giving anything back it means setting boundaries not because you don't care about others but because you care about yourself too imagine you have a garden if you allow everyone to walk through it step on the flowers and take whatever they want soon there will be nothing left but if you build a small fence if you take care of the plants if you allow only those who respect the garden to enter it will flourish your

energy is the same if you give it away freely to everyone Without Limits you will be left depleted but if you guard it nurture it and share it only with those who uplift you your life will flourish think of how often you engage in things that drain you gossip meaningless debates social media arguments worrying about what others think none of these add value to your life yet they take so much from you the moment you start protecting your energy you will notice something powerful you will have more clarity more peace more Focus suddenly things that

used to stress you won't affect you as much people who used to drain you will start fading from your life why because you are no longer feeding them your energy some people won't like it when you start setting boundaries they were used to having unlimited access to you they were used to taking without giving but that is not your problem your responsibility is to yourself first because if you are constantly Running on Empty how will you have anything to give to the people who truly matter there is a reason why successful peaceful and wise people

do not allow everything into their lives they do not entertain every argument they do not waste time on things that don't serve them they do not allow negative people to drain their energy they are intentional about where they focus their time thoughts and emotions and because of that they move through life with power and purpose you must learn to do the same guard your energy like it is sacred because it is choose your battles wisely not everything needs your attention not every person deserves your time if something constantly leaves you feeling drained ask yourself is

this worth my energy if the answer is no walk away without guilt without explanation your energy is Your Life Force protect it nurture it use it wisely because once it is spent you cannot get it back from the moment we are born we are conditioned to seek approval as children we are praised when we do what pleases others we are rewarded for being obedient for following the rules for making people happy slowly without realizing it we learn that our worth is tied to the opinions of others we learn that in order to be accepted we

must fit in and so we grow up constantly looking around measuring ourselves Through The Eyes Of The World wondering do they like me am I good enough but here's the truth chasing approval is an endless race with no Finish Line no matter what you do there will always be someone who disapproves you could be the kindest person in the world and still someone will find a reason to criticize you you could work tirelessly to gain respect and still someone will look down on you if you spend your life trying to make everyone happy you will

only make yourself miserable look around you how many times have you hesitated to do something because you were worried about what others would think you wanted to wear something bold but chose something safe instead you had an idea in a meeting but kept quiet because you feared judgment you wanted to take a different career path but stuck to the safe option because you didn't want to disappoint your family every time you do this you are not living for yourself you are living for others imagine you are an artist painting a masterpiece but instead of trusting

your own Vision you keep asking everyone around you do you like this color should I change this stroke the more opinions you seek the more confused you become soon your painting is no longer yours it is a collection of everyone else's preferences and in the end you don't even recognize it anymore this is what happens when you live for approval your life stops being yours approval seeking is a trap and the deeper you fall into it the harder it is to escape you become addicted to validation if people praise you you feel good if they

criticize you you feel worthless your self-worth becomes like a leaf in the wind blown in every direction by other people's opinions but here's what you must understand approval is temporary but self-respect is permanent think about the people you admire are they constantly worrying about pleasing everyone no they are confident in who they are they do what feels right to them whether people approve or not that is what makes them stand out the moment you stop caring about approval is the moment you become truly free this does not mean you should ignore feedback or become arrogant

there is value in listening to others but the key is knowing whose opinion matters if a stranger on the internet insults you why should it affect your confidence if someone who has never walked your path tells you that you are wrong why should you believe them take advice from those who have wisdom but do not let random voices dictate your life let's take an example imagine you want to start a business but people around you keep saying it's too risky what if you fail now ask yourself are these people successful entrepreneurs have they taken risks

in their own life lives if not why should Their Fear become your limitation most people who discourage you are not speaking from experience they are speaking from their own insecurities do not let their doubts become your reality another common example social media today people live for likes for comments for validation from strangers they will never meet they post something and if it gets approval they feel good if it doesn't they feel invisible but ask yourself why should yourself what depend on a screen why should a few takes from people who don't even know you determine

how you feel about yourself the more you rely on external validation the weaker your inner confidence becomes the solution is simple but not easy stop looking outward for approval and start looking inward for self-respect when you make a decision ask yourself does this feel right for me instead of will they approve when you achieve something take a moment to appreciate your own effort instead of waiting for others to recognize it when you express yourself do it with authenticity not with with the hope of being liked Freedom Begins the moment you stop needing validation when you

live for yourself when you make choices based on your own values when you stop worrying about whether people approve you become Unstoppable some people will not like it some will criticize you but those who truly matter will respect you even more and most importantly you will respect yourself we are often told to be kind to everyone to always be nice to treat people with love regardless of how they treat us it sounds Noble it sounds wise but in reality not everyone deserves your kindness there are people in this world who will take advantage of it

who will see your kindness as weakness who will drain you deceive you and leave you with nothing if you are not careful your kindness will become a weapon used against you think about how many times you have helped someone who never appreciated it you went out of your way to be there for them to support them to lift them up when they were down but when you needed them silence when you needed kindness in return they were nowhere to be found the sad truth is many people only stay close to you because of what they

can get from you the moment you stop giving they disappear look at the world around you do you see the most successful people wasting their time and energy on everyone no they understand something important kindness must be given with wisdom it should not be wasted on those who do not appreciate it it should not not be given to people who use it against you there is a difference between being kind and being used if you do not recognize this you will spend your life giving While others only take imagine you are carrying a jug of

water in the middle of a desert every time someone asks for a sip you give them some but some people don't just take a sip they demand more they ask for a full cup then another and another soon your jug is empty you have nothing left not even for yourself and the worst part when you turn to these same people and say can I have a sip they shrug and walk away this is what happens when you give your kindness to the wrong people they take and take until you have nothing left they never give

in return and when you finally say enough they act as if you are the selfish one this is why kindness must have limits it must be given only to those who respect and value it some people believe that kindness will change others that if they are good enough patient enough forgiving enough toxic people will magically transform but let me tell you something kindness does not fix people if someone is selfish manipulative or ungrateful your kindness will not change them they will simply take advantage of it you cannot heal people who do not want to be

healed you cannot pour your love into a heart that is closed look at history look at the strongest leaders the greatest Minds the most powerful people were they kind to everyone no they knew that kindness is valuable and must be given only where it matters they were not cruel but they were selective they understood that some people must be loved from a distance that some people must be left behind let's take a real life example imagine you have a friend who always asks for your help they call you when they have problems they need favors

they want support and you being a kind person always say yes but when you need something they suddenly become too busy they don't have time they don't answer your calls and yet the next time they need you they come back acting as if nothing happened this is not friendship this is one-sided generosity if someone only remembers you when they need something they do not deserve your kindness if someone never values what you do for them stop doing it some people will call you selfish for this they will say but you should always be kind always

help others no you should help where it is deserved you should be kind to those who appreciate it but you should not be a fool there is nothing Noble about allowing yourself to be used there is nothing wise about giving everything while receiving nothing in return the word respects people who are boundaries look at the people who are admired who are followed who are respected they are not the ones who give endlessly to those who take advantage of them they are the ones who know their worth they are the ones who say I will help

you but only if you also respect me there is a saying do not cast your Pearls Before Swine what does this mean it means do not waste your kindness your time your love on those who do not appreciate it there are people who will see your kindness as weakness who will take advantage of it who will never return it stop giving to those people this does not mean you should become cruel it does not mean you should stop helping others it simply means you must be wise with your kindness give it where it is valued

share it with those who appreciate it and never let anyone use it against you human nature is predictable people often do not appreciate what is always available what is given too freely what does not demand respect if you give too much of yourself Without Limits people will not admire you for it they will assume it is their right to receive if you always say yes always show up always sacrifice without expecting anything in return do not be surprised when people take you for granted look at your own life how many times have you been there

for someone supported them encouraged them listen to their problems only to realize later that they never truly valued your presence you thought your kindness would be recognized you thought your loyalty would be remembered but what happened the moment you stopped doing things for them they acted as if you had never existed they only noticed your absence when they needed something again this happens because people value what they have to earn what comes easily is often ignored when you are always available always saying yes always giving people assume that you will always be there they stop

seeing your value because they never had to work for it they do not mistreat you intentionally they simply get used to the idea that you will always be there no matter what imagine a river that flows constantly day and night people do not stop to thank the river they do not admire it every day they only notice its importance when it dries up you your presence in people's lives works the same way if you are always there they stop appreciating you but the moment you walk away the moment you stop giving the moment you set

boundaries suddenly they realize what they had think about how we treat things in our daily lives if someone gives us a gift every single day after a while we stop feeling excited about it it becomes routine but if that same person only gives us a meaningful gift once in a while we treasure it scarcity creates value if you are always giving yourself away freely your time your energy your kindness people will not treasure you they will take you for granted look at successful people do they allow everyone to have access to them no their time

is precious they do not waste it on those who do not value it if you call them anytime meet them any time interrupt them anytime their importance would fade but because they have limits people respect their presence now ask yourself why do you not apply the same rule to your own life why do you make yourself to available why do you let people walk all over you assume you will always say yes always show up always be there it is because you believe that by being always available people will love you more but this is

a Lie the more available you are the less people appreciate you let's take a real life example imagine you are at work and every time someone needs help they come to you you are the nice one the one who never says no at first you feel good about helping but soon people start dumping their tasks on you they assume you will do the extra work they expect you to clean up their mess and when promotions come they do not see you as a leader they see you as someone who can be used you worked harder

but you got less respect why because you allowed yourself to be taken for granted now imagine a different approach instead of saying yes to everything you said boundaries you help when it is fair but you do not allow people to overload you suddenly people start respecting your time they stop assuming they can always depend on you for everything they value you more because they know they cannot take advantage of you this applies to relationships as well have you ever seen someone who loves another person deeply gives them everything make sacrifices for them only to be

ignored or mistreated it is not because love is meaningless it is because when you give too much without without expecting anything in return people stop seeing your value but the moment you walk away the moment you stop chasing suddenly they realize what they lost do not wait for people to take you for granted before you wake up start setting limits now if someone never appreciates your effort stop putting in so much effort if someone only comes to you when they need something stop making yourself so available if people do not value your time do not

give them so much of it this is not about becoming cold or selfish it is about recognizing your own worth when you respect yourself when you demand respect from others when you do not give yourself away too freely people will start valuing you more they will stop taking you for granted because they know that your presence is not something they can have without effort value yourself first and the world will follow there is a strange truth about human nature people don't value what is always available the more accessible you are the less people appreciate your

presence when something is easy to get people assume it will always be there and they stop seeing its worth this is why the rarest things in life precious gems exclusive opportunities and even the attention of high value individuals are the most sought after the same rule applies to you think about the last time you really wanted something maybe it was a job a relationship or even a new Gadget the harder it was was to get the more you valued it if it had been handed to you without effort would you have appreciated it the same

way probably not scarcity creates value what is always available is always ignored now look at your own life how often do you make yourself too available for people how often do you drop everything just to be there for someone how often do you cancel your own plans ignore your own needs and rearrange your life just to accommodate others and in return how often do those same people take you for granted when you are always there always saying yes always ready to help people begin to assume that this is just who you are they stop seeing

it as something special they expect it they assume you will always be around no matter how they treat you and that is when your value in their eyes starts to fade take a simple example text messages have you ever noticed that when you reply instantly to someone's text they start taking long longer and longer to respond to yours why because they know you are always available but when you delay your response suddenly they become more interested they wonder what you're doing they try harder to get your attention this is not a game this is psychology

when people think they have easy access to you they don't feel the need to put in effort but the moment they sense you are not always there they start valuing you more this applies to friendships relationships workplaces and Social Circles the most respected people are not the ones who are always available they are the ones who are boundaries the ones who make others work for their time the ones who don't just drop everything for others at a moment's notice because their time is valuable anything valuable is not given away for free think about the most

successful people in the world entrepreneurs celebrities thought leaders do they make themselves available to everyone all the time no their time is limited they choose carefully who they spend it with and because of this people respect their time more they are valued because they do not allow themselves to be too accessible now let's take an everyday example imagine two restaurants one is always empty no lines no waiting you can walk in anytime and get a table the other is always booked with people lining up outside reservations required weeks in advance which one do people assume

is better the one that is harder to access even if the food is the same even if the quality is identical the perception of value changes based on availability people assume that if something is easy to get it must not be that special now imagine you are like that first restaurant always available always ready always waiting people won't appreciate you as much but if you start treating yourself like that second restaurant if you start valuing your own time setting boundaries making people work for your attention you will immediately see a shift in how people treat

you they will respect you more because they will sense that your time is valuable this is not about playing hard to get it's about understanding that your presence is a privilege not a given it's about realizing that if you do not value yourself others will not value you either you teach people how to treat you by the way you treat yourself if you make yourself too available you are teaching them that your time is not precious if you always say yes you are teaching them that your boundaries do not matter the hardest part about this

lesson is that it requires change it requires you to stop being the always available person it requires you to say no to stop responding immediately to stop putting others ahead of yourself all the time and at first people won't like it they will complain they will call you different some might even accuse you of being selfish but that is only because they were benefiting from your lack of boundaries the moment you stop making yourself so available you will notice something incredible the right people will respect you more and the wrong people will fail away the

ones who truly care about you will start valuing your time they will reach out more intentionally they will appreciate your presence instead of expecting it and those who only wanted to use you they will disappear this is the test if someone only values you when you are too available they never truly valued you at all but the ones who stay the ones who adjust the ones who recognize your worth those are the people you should keep close start today stop saying yes to everything stop being at everyone's back and call stop making yourself an option

for people who do not make an effort for you the less available you are the more valuable you become friendliness is a beautiful trait it makes you approachable likable and easy to connect with it creates warmth in relationships allows people to feel comfortable around you and fosters good interactions but when friendliness crosses the line into over friendliness when you make yourself too accessible too agreeable too easy goinging you unknowingly invite disrespect human nature is such that people often fail to appreciate what is given too freely when you are overly friendly always eager to please always

accommodating people start to take you for granted they assume you will always say yes they assume you will always be okay with anything they assume you have no boundaries and the moment people believe you have no boundaries they stop respecting you look at the world around you have you noticed that people tend to admire those who maintain a sense of Mystery who hold their ground who do not Bend too easily these people are respected because they don't give themselves away too quickly they are friendly but not too friendly they are approachable but not pushovers they

set the tone for how they should be treated now think about the opposite think about the person in your workplace who is overly friendly with everyone they laugh at every joke even when it's not funny they agree with every opinion even when they don't believe in it they never say no they let others interrupt them take a advantage of their time and treat them however they wish do you notice how these people are often ignored when it comes to making important decisions do you notice how their opinions are not taken seriously it is because their

excessive friendliness has lowered their Authority they have become too easy friendliness should never come at the cost of self-respect if you are too friendly too forgiving too available people will start testing your limits at first it may be small thing someone speaking over you in a conversation a friend cancelling on you last minute a coworker leaving you with extra work but the more you let these things Slide the more they escalate people start assuming that you will tolerate anything and the moment they believe you will tolerate anything they stop treating you with respect let's take

a simple example imagine a teacher in a classroom one teacher is too friendly they let students stop during lessons they laugh of Disobedience they try too hard to be like at first the students enjoy it but soon they start losing respect they stop paying attention they start taking advantage why because the teacher has blurred blured the between being respected and being likeed now imagine another teacher friendly but firm they smile but they also demand discipline they encourage but they also enforce rules these teachers are not unfriendly but they command respect the students listen their words

carry weight they found the perfect balance friendly but not weak approachable but not to be played with now apply this to your own life if you are too friendly you may notice that people interrupt you in conversations dismiss your ideas make jokes at your expense or treat you as if your time is not valuable but if you adjust if you speak with certainty stop laughing at disrespect stop being overly accommodating you will see a change the same people who once overlooked you will start treating you differently let's take another real life example friendships have you

ever noticed is that when you are too friendly with certain people they begin to act as if they are doing you a favor by being in your life they stop putting in effort they stop respecting your time but when you create distance when you show that you are not always available they suddenly become more attentive why because when something is too easy to get people assume it has no value this applies even more in relationships if you are too friendly with someone you are interested in always a aailable always eager always saying yes what happens

they stop appreciating you they stop seeing you as special they assume they can have your attention whenever they want but when you create space when you show that your presence is something to be earned suddenly they become more interested scarcity creates value friendliness is not the enemy it is excessive friendliness friendliness without boundaries that leads to disect being too friendly does not make you more likable it makes you more disposable people begin to assume that your presence is guaranteed that you will always be there that you do not require effort or respect so how do

you fix this first observe how people treat you notice if your friendliness is being reciprocated with respect or if it is being taken advantage of if people often Overlook you interrupt you take your kindness for granted this is a sign that you are being too friendly second start setting boundaries if someone interrupts you do not smile at them pause speak firmly make it clear that your words matter if someone cancels on you last minute do not act as if it is fine let them know that your time is valuable if someone makes a joke at

your expense Do Not Laugh along look them in the eye and let them know that you do not tolerate disrespect lastly practice controlled friendliness be warm be kind but do not overextend yourself be friendly but do not let people assume that they can treat you however they like learn to say no learn to value your time learn to create space so that people appreciate your presence the truth is people respect those who respect themselves if you want people to treat you better stop being too friendly stop trying to please everyone stop making yourself too accessible

the moment you do this you will notice a shift people will start valuing you more listening to you more and most importantly respecting you more kindness is one of the most powerful quality qualities a human being can possess it has the ability to heal wounds strengthen relationships and uplift those who need it most but kindness is not meant to be thrown around carelessly not everyone deserves your kindness not everyone will appreciate it and some will even see it as a weakness and use it against you we live in a world where being kind is often

mistaken for being weak many people believe that if you are understanding accommodating or forgiving it means you are someone they can manipulate they take advantage of your good nature knowing that no matter what they do you will always respond with warmth but this is a dangerous way to live because when you offer kindness to the wrong people they do not see it as generosity they see it as an opportunity to exploit you look at your own life have you ever been there for someone time and time again only for them to disappear when you needed

them have you ever given your energy your time your effort to people who barely acknowledged it have you ever helped someone supported them and stood by them only to be met with indifference or Worse betrayal if you have then you already understand why not everyone deserves your kindness kindness should be given to those who appreciate it to those who value it and to those who do not use it as a tool for their own selfish gain but in life we often waste our kindness on the wrong people on those who do not care on those

who take without giving on those who are only around when it benefits them imagine a river a river flows freely offering water to everything around it plants animals people but if that River Flows in the wrong direction towards a desert where nothing grows what happens the water is wasted it evaporates it gives and gives but nothing comes from it that is what happens when you give your kindness to the wrong people you keep giving but nothing grows you keep pouring but nothing changes you keep offering but all you get in return is emptiness now think

about a garden if you water the right plants if you nurture the right soil life flourishes your efforts create something meaningful this is how you should treat your kindness give it to those who will nourish it appreciate it and return it in some way but many of us are afraid afraid of seeming cold afraid of losing people afraid of disappointing others so we keep giving even when it is not appreciated we keep forgiving even when it is undeserved we keep keep being kind even when it is being taken for granted but here's the truth you

are not obligated to be kind to everyone there is a difference between being a good person and being a person who is used there is a difference between being kind and being taken advantage of there is a difference between helping others and allowing others to drain you you must learn to recognize who deserves your kindness and who does not think about the people in your life are there individuals who only come to you when they need something are there people who disappear the moment you need help are there friends colleagues or even family members who

constantly take from you but never give anything in return if so why do you continue to offer them your kindness this is not about becoming cold or cruel it is about protecting your energy it is about understanding that your kindness has value and that value should not be wasted on those who do not appreciate it a precious gift should only be given to those who recog ize its worth consider this if you had a rare expensive diamond would you throw it on the ground for just anyone to take would you give it to someone who

does not even care about its value of course not yet so many people do this with their kindness they give it away freely to those who do not care to those who do not reciprocate to those who do not deserve it and then they wonder why they feel drained why they feel empty why they feel used because they have given their most valuable resource that kindness to people who do not respect it now imagine if you started being selective imagine if you chose to give your kindness only to those who valued it only to those

who treated you with the same respect imagine if you stop wasting your energy on those who take and never give what would happen you would feel lighter you would feel more at peace you would surround yourself with people who truly care this is not selfishness this is self-respect your kindness should be a privilege not a guarantee guantee it should be something that is earned not something that is taken for granted you do not owe kindness to people who have repeatedly shown you that they do not care you do not owe patience to people who continuously

disrespect you you do not owe forgiveness to people who do not change the hardest lesson in life is learning to walk away from those who do not deserve you but once you do you will see a transformation the moment you stop being kind to those who take advantage of you you will notice something incredible the right people will appreciate you more and the wrong people will disappear and that is exactly what needs to happen not everyone deserves your kindness give it wisely and you will see how much more valuable it becomes