10 ways to stop ruining your life

in my last video I went over 10 ways to quickly ruin your life and it is by far the most depressing video I have ever made in my life and a lot of you who watched that video said wow I don't actually need a tutorial for this I see myself in every single one of those points and I don't know what to do I've been depressed for a long time or maybe I haven't been feeling well for a long time and this video just sort of reminds me of what a big piece of [ __

] I am I literally read that same comment verbatim 50 times so I felt obligated to make this video because I want to take each point from the last video and flip it to give you guys some ideas to help you Rise From the Ashes get out of whatever depressive rut that you're in so that you can start feeling better very quickly step number one is to have a goal you need to figure out what you want from your life and a lot of the time we already kind of know what we want with our

lives but it is sort of just this vague sentiment we know that we probably want to have more money or we want to have a girlfriend or we want you know to pass school or to feel better or to have big muscles or cool hair like we have all these vague sentiments but we haven't really sat down and separated the wheat from the chaff we haven't figured out what things are actually important to us what things get us excited to wake up in the morning and we don't really outline what kind of person we want

to be specifically how do we ideally want to spend our time how much time should we spend playing RuneScape how do we want to feel on a day-to-day basis what kind of relationships do we want to have all of these things are so important to outline specifically otherwise we don't really have an aim we have all of these vague Sentiments of things that we kind of want and that would be nice but we have absolutely no specific goals and absolutely no specific steps to get there and without that aim we are by definite Mission aimless

so no wonder we kind of descend into nihilism without a goal we need goals to strive towards and it's in that striving that we find meaning we find that internal fulfillment that we're usually looking for when we're spending time on Instagram and whatnot we're sort of looking for this feeling of resolution like you're where you're supposed to be you find that feeling by being on your path and you don't know if you're on your path if you don't have a goal so it is so important to spend some time sit down with a pen and

paper and figure out in detail what you want your life to look like one month from now one year from now and five years from now step number two is step out of the cave one of the easiest ways by far to descend into despair is to spend all of your time inside in front of screens getting sucked into endless algorithms being force-fed topics that you are growing tired of and it seems to be the same things every single day you watch the same videos and you think the same thoughts so it's extremely important that

if you don't like that that you stop spending so much time inside your house you have to step outside of the cave let the sunlight and vitamin D hit your skin go be a person in the world you know stop spending so much time in isolation you know that's probably one of the biggest things that you know the past couple of years have taught us is you know spending all of our times in front of a screen isn't exactly good for our mental health so emerge from the cave as much as possible let people know

your name get to know people have people know you by being a person in the world we stop being so closed in on ourselves you know our soul becomes this black hole that just requires entertainment and people to validate you and we almost draw the world in towards ourself rather than being out there and radiating this sort of abundant giving nature as woo-woo as that sounds when we spend so much time in isolation we get so self-conscious that every other external input is sort of like trying to fill this hole that we create in ourselves

let's stop that get outside of the house go talk to somebody stop spending all of your time in your little cave as much as you are capable go be a person in the world step number three to dramatically improve your life is to take risks life is inherently risky by being alive you risk Dying by crossing the street you risk getting hit by a bus there are so many things that could go wrong and probably will go wrong in your life and a lot of these things are completely out of your control you can't escape

bad things happening to you you feel pain anyways so why not feel the pain of trying and failing rather than the pain of apathy and despair and neglect this doesn't mean spend all of your money on the latest crypto thing and hope to get rich because that's just dumb start off small try to strike up a conversation with the person in the elevator or the grocery checkout you might risk being perceived as sort of a weird person that people don't want to talk to but that's a great example of a risk that is kind of

worth taking because even if you are seen as a weirdo and they literally go ugh why are you talking to me that sort of rejection when you voluntarily subject yourself and you are aware that that could happen but you do it anyways that is an empowering rejection that's the thing about risk when you are aware of the negative downsides but you make a calculated decision to go for it anyways when that downside happens you at least respect yourself for trying and as you take more risks in life as you step outside of your comfort zone

you start to get better at evaluating risk you start to be a better judge of what could go wildly wrong with very little upside versus what has like pretty good upside and very little downside you start to develop resilience you start to develop this like bounce back nature this anti-fragility so it's never too late to start taking more risks obviously don't be dumb if you have a family don't Bank everything on the stock market especially right now don't quote me on that it's just a hunch but like I said from the start life is inherently

risky you know by not taking risks and not getting comfortable with risks that's risky in and of itself in fact it's worse than risky because not only do you risk not getting what you eventually want in life you pretty much guarantee it so if you're starting to feel sort of apathetic in life stop sitting at the shore living in fear for the next big wave to get all of your clothes wet learn to surf and expect to be bad at the start art but you'll get better the fourth thing that you can do to dramatically

improve your life is to get out of your head assuming you followed step one and you developed a Clear Vision of what you want with your life and the things that you typically want to do each day then you've already done plenty amount of thinking so often in our lives we think that we need to think things through in order to do something but like for 99 of the things we really do not like if you really feel like you should be getting back into the gym again and you start to feel inspired because you

watch this like I don't know workout Montage transformation video we're like oh yeah man I really should start going to the gym again so you start looking up new workout clothes to buy you start spending money on this like Advanced YouTuber fitness influencer program you spend all your money at GNC it's like you don't need to do this much thinking just go to the [ __ ] gym do the thing before you can even think about it because as soon as you start thinking you already know you're an absolute Master at finding a way to

weasel out of it even if the rationale is fairly cohesive the result is that you didn't end up doing it so many things in life are like this if you need to write your final essay as soon as you think about it and you already know it's good for you you need to become efficient at just putting one foot in front of the other and already start doing it like literally shut your brain off and start thinking about the essay when you've already written like six words for it 99 of us have a problem of

overthinking not under thinking step number five is produce always produce more than you consume and in this highly consumeristic culture that is very challenging especially if you are like most people nowadays including myself if I'm not careful so many of us sort of sit there living life passively you know we're living life on our heels willingly hypnotizing us with whatever content is displayed for us when we enter in YouTube you know maybe that's this video maybe you've been incessantly watching self-improvement content click away from this video you don't need this video like come back to

it later go do the thing that you're supposed to do you know go Purdue stop consuming content like this you know if it's the end of the day and you know you're kicking back and having a good time then maybe keep on watching but I'm literally gonna screw myself with this video algorithm wise because I genuinely mean it go do something more important you know life feels so much more exciting when you are creating more than you're consuming if you like watching videos learn to make them if you like scrolling Instagram looking at photos learn

to take them the satisfaction that we're longing for when we're doom scrolling is the feeling of creation it's being in the Flow State feeling like you are where you're supposed to be and you're doing something significant you're putting something out into the world so always try to produce at least as much as you consume preferably more step number six is to welcome feedback don't just surround yourself with people who think exactly who you think and you have like three or four people that you talk to and you all have the same opinions about everything and

you look with judgment on people who live life differently because your world is so small that's pretty much everybody it's important to have an inner circle absolutely and a lot of the time your inner circle will think a lot like you think absolutely but surround yourself with people who challenge you who want to hold you to a higher standard if you start to stray off the path they can bring you back onto it and a lot of the time that won't be very comfortable a lot of the time that'll be a hit to the ego

but you want to find people who want the best for the best version of you you know not just people who want you to be comfortable all the time try to reflect on the fact that you probably don't know everything and there there's a lot to learn from other people this doesn't mean be spineless and not stand up for what you think is right but do it in a way that is solution oriented not ego oriented you do not know everything number seven is be vulnerable now a lot of you might say that one sounds

pretty beta to be honest with you that sounds Super Beta Joey's a beta sure by being vulnerable I don't mean expose your vital organs to a dirty Bandit with a sharp knife I mean don't be afraid to be emotionally vulnerable emotionally honest to your inner circle to the people who are holding you to a higher standard now what does this mean and what's the utility of this well let's look at the alternative the alternative is to be secretive to have things that you're ashamed of that you never tell anybody you stuff it down you pretend

it doesn't exist and a lot of the time when you have bad habits or addictions or something like that and you keep them hidden they tend to Blossom in the shadows right they start to weigh on you far more than they probably should when you don't expose your flaws and your darker side to anybody when you're not emotionally vulnerable and honest you know no one really knows who you are you conceal a part of yourself from the world reflect on your life are there things that you do behind behind closed doors that you wouldn't do

if that door were to swing open and Grandma was home that was a very weird way to put it if there are things that we do that we don't want to admit to other people it's important to find the courage to let somebody know somebody that you trust it's a very Christian idea actually confession isn't for God or for the priest or for a person that you're confiding in it's for you it's to shed light on the darker aspects of yourself to sort of like heal it to like Purge it in a way because these

darker sides of ourselves thrive in secrecy don't be afraid to confide in somebody that you trust about things that you're not so proud of because a weight will come off your shoulders every single time it's like cathartic and you can live your life with more freedom to sort of pursue the higher version of yourself where do you find these types of people outside of your house thing number eight to dramatically improve the rest of your life uh this one's probably the hardest one to do it's the one that I struggle with the most and that

is to embrace conflict now this one might sound interesting but the alternative is to run from conflict if you have a problem with something let somebody know right otherwise you're an absolute doormat if someone wrongs you you know does something to hurt you does something out of line that you don't appreciate don't just be like oh that's okay because if it's not okay it's not okay don't say that it's okay because by doing that you look weaker so that person is more likely to take advantage of you in the future and they say like wow

this guy's an absolute doormat but far worse is that you don't respect yourself as much you say like wow I just let people walk all over me because I don't want to deal with slight discomfort in the short term is that something I struggle with personally you know I'm a pretty agreeable person a lot of the time I want to make sure everyone's comfortable and having a good time and you know I have fairly thick skin I played hockey and you know dressing room culture and small town Canada you know people throw Jabs and I

don't think that like being overly sensitive is particularly beneficial in that circumstance you do have to let stuff kind of bounce off a little bit but when something crosses the line you know it and a lot of the time those aren't like little Jabs or you know humor a lot of the time that's just like straight up disrespect they say something about a family member of yours or at work something genuinely unfair or unprofessional or unsafe happens don't just be like that's all right yeah like don't worry about it yeah you have to speak up

right otherwise you don't have a spine and if you've gotten in the habit of doing this over years and years and years you almost have to like re-earn your spine again and that's tough that's really tough it's something that is extremely important because that goes along with honesty speak the truth if you don't like something say that you don't like it be willing to risk people perceiving you as mildly unpleasant in the moment in order to gain respect not just from the people around you but respect for yourself when the elephant in the room comes

barging in talk about the elephant be like hey look at that elephant right there what are we gonna do about it the thing's huge don't have elephants in your room they don't belong in your room they belong in the zoo or in the wild actually if I say they belong in the zoo I'll get canceled they belong foreign elsewhere step number nine don't play RuneScape I put that uh tip in the video and it's like the number one comment is like lamou I died at play RuneScape I played a lot of RuneScape like a lot

I think I should change it in the video to play RuneScape 3 because old school RuneScape still slaps alright tip number 10 is be optimistic I think optimism gets a bad rap because people will look at optimism and they'll say man this person is not based he doesn't realize that there's a lot of suffering in the world and it's not all sunshine and rainbows but unless I have a different definition of what optimism is optimism is the opposite of pessimism pessimism is where you look at any situation and you find the negative in it you

know the glass is always half empty if you are a pessimist you compulsively put a negative spin on things you know you have a habit of looking at anything good or neutral or bad and finding the Fault in all of it and while that might be true because the fabric of our reality is inherently tainted in a lot of ways suffering is a part of life everyone's aware of that but why would you add to the suffering by being compulsively negative by finding a way to complain or lament about all these things you have to

do you're basically cutting yourself off at the knees before you can get going there's no shortage of suffering in the world you know life is hard people on motorbikes could ruin your shot as you're trying to do a video at 11 PM when you have to wake up at 5am to catch a flight to London oh life is so hard I'm going to London if you have a tendency to compulsively look for the negative in everything you add to the net suffering of your life it doesn't improve your life to be overly negative right seek

to find the good in everything rather than the negative that's what being an optimist is all about it's not being blind to the negative aspects of the reality around you it's choosing to focus on what's good there's a reason why gratitude journals have been shown to cure in a lot of people clinical anxiety or insomnia right there's some really interesting studies on that and it's because people focus on the positive aspects of their lives and the things that they're grateful for it doesn't mean that they like created anything new they're just remembering things differently and

they feel better about their lives right they have a internal peace that they're fostering because they are able to habitually see the positive aspect of things and there's the motorcycle again I love the motorcycle because it reminds me of what an amazing job I have do I actually think that I don't know but I feel good rather than negative and if you're really good at being a pessimist it's really difficult to actually recognize when you're doing it because you do it so regularly and it's such a intellectual sleight of hand that it's really hard to

pick up a lot of the time this is a very difficult thing to do to remain optimistic in times of trial it's not easy but it is deeply meaningful and is deeply satisfying to try to be that person so try to recognize all the little ways that you are being negative about yourself being negative about your capabilities about your future about your past your present try to find all the little ways that you're spinning little fun little spider webs into negativity I don't know how that makes sense it doesn't but neither does being negative so

if you've made it to the end of this video try that today for the rest of the day or make a note of it tomorrow be extra mindful about the stories you tell yourself about the world around you and about your own life is this a hopeful story or is this an overly Bleak and negative story with no aim and no encouragement the world isn't a very encouraging place and the last person that should be robbing you of encouragement is yourself your life gets better when you're optimistic I will die on that Hill if you

have been not feeling so good you watched my last video and it made things worse then hopefully by listening to some of these tips you are starting to get some ideas as to how you can start feeling better and again a lot of these things are just scratching the surface maybe these things weren't very practical or Hands-On but hopefully they got your mind working as to how to get out of some of the negative thought patterns that we find ourselves in so that you can dramatically improve the remainder of your life and as usual thank

you so much again to our wonderful sponsor athletic greens so I just got back from the UK where I was away for two weeks with Jared and honestly we ate very poorly I wouldn't call our meals nutritionally spectacular so over the course of the trip that really started to weigh on us and both Jared and I ended up getting sick so when we were away we were like man why didn't we bring those athletic greens travel packs we probably would have felt so much better so that's why I've been taking ag1 for the past two

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that will help give your body everything it needs to feel fantastic and if you use my link in the description below you'll also get a year's supply of the vitamin D3 and K2 complex as well as five ag1 travel packs with your first purchase so once again click my link below to take advantage of this offer and thank you again to athletic greens for sponsoring this video if you liked this video make sure that you hit the like button because when you actually move your mouse over and click the like button the algorithm goes okay

this video is good and more people should see it that is a huge help if you hit the like button let me know in the comments below which one of these tips you most struggle with and which ones you're most excited to work on I would love to hear your side of things other than that thank you so much for watching as always and we'll catch you in the next video [Music]