Minecraft Movie Looks Bad

Minecraft is one of the most popular things on the planet kids grow up in that game they end up more familiar with the Minecraft world than their own household like the boogeyman doesn't exist anymore now it's herobrine or maybe even that's outdated I don't know the only thing I know for sure is Herobrine is real I watched it slit the throat of my grandfather to squeeze out the diamonds from his cold corpse point is Minecraft is huge so it's only a matter of time before a liveaction movie was made to capitalize on the success of

the property and rejoice because that time is now the Minecraft movie trailer just dropped and the reception has been lukewarm at Best in fact I'm being pretty generous by calling it lukewarm there was about as much cheering for this as there was when I hit my last free throw in my high school basketball career and it was really only my parents clapping cuz we got blown out in that final game ever since the film was announced as a liveaction movie people were quick to write it off just saying things like there's no way they'll be

able to make that watchable it'll probably just be garbage and now that the teasers dropped that's confirmed lot of people suspicions that Yep this is going to be turbo ass Jack Black as Steve is the biggest one people are pointing the finger at here so Jack Black plays Steve for those of you that don't know Minecraft which is zero people watching I'll still just show you anyway this is Steve he's basically just playing Jack Black but in a blue shirt it looks like he rolled out of bed and they gave him this blue shirt instead

all right now you're Steve as if it's Captain America's shield or something it's pretty low effort from the costume Department here that people were making fun of it'd be like if they made a liveaction Simpsons Movie and I was cast as Homer and this was my costume because Homer also wears a white shirt like [ __ ] porn parodies put more work into the costuming like sponge knob Square nuts they had a whole get up for him that you could immediately identify as oh that's supposed to be SpongeBob here if he didn't say I am

Steve I would have had no [ __ ] clue personally just like I have no clue who Jason Mimo ised supped to be here he looks like a character I would have made in dress to impress on Roblox just combining random [ __ ] onto the character he looks like someone in the witness protection program who's going undercover to see a Credence Clearwater Revival concert but at the very least that's fun like Jason Mamoa just being like a you know quirky zany looking character here in the trailer like that's interesting Jack Black and Steve is

just man you didn't even really try like Jack Black is a huge draw most people really like Jack Black and he's been in a lot of huge movies recently if I could I'd ask the Men in Black to neuralize the knowledge of Borderlands out of my [ __ ] Cranium so that way I don't have to remember that Jack Black was in that atrocity but he's been in some great films and it looks like he's the go-to now for these Studio execs to pick up for children's movies and based off this teaser this is very

clearly aimed at kids this is made for toddlers I'm talking like actual mil milk drinking [ __ ] snot-nosed diaper soiling children this isn't like the Super Mario Bros movie where pretty much anyone of all ages can appreciate that film this one really seems at least based on this very first Glimpse that it is entirely made for kids that love Minecraft not anyone who loves Minecraft the style of the film is just also kind of offputting Danny summed it up best by saying it looks like a Honda commercial it also just kind of reminds me

of something Clash of Clans would have posted on their YouTube channel as like a Facebook ad or something the animation style is not revolting or anything except for this stupid [ __ ] thing but the integration of liveaction into it just is not done super well in this teaser it really looks kind of haphazardly thrown together like the liveaction characters just don't blend with the animation as well as I would have thought it would this movie would have been significantly better if it was just fully animated instead of trying to chew horn and ham fist

in like Jack Black and Jas Mamoa just for the sake of having bigname star power draw to it like they could have voiced in it you know like I don't know why they didn't take a page out of the Super Mario Bros Playbook which was very positively received absolutely crushed it in the box office and for some reason Minecraft completely ignores that comes out here and shits their whole ass with this teaser which is not being positively received if it was fully animated I think it would have stood a far better chance ultimately though I

don't think it's going to matter to the main demographic the movie is trying to appeal to which is kids they're not going to care kids will just endlessly let videos autoplay rotting their goddamn brains just watching like finger family or whatever else just happens to scroll through like they're not going to be bothered by things like the liveaction and animation don't work together super well but just because I'm not the target audience for this movie doesn't mean I can't insult it and point out its shortcomings what are they going to do have the Enderman come

[ __ ] me this just isn't great looking and a lot of people aren't very happy with it especially because apparently it's been 10 years in the making like they started scripting this back in 2014 from what I read what a weird use of 10 years what what it seems to me and I could be totally wrong here I got the tinf foil hat on for this is they may have had like a bunch of different scripts over the course of the decade and then they started seeing video game movies succeed like Sonic like detective

Pikachu like Super Mario bro and then they just started to rush like okay we need to capitalize on this ASAP it's hot right now we have to strike while the iron is hot we got to go and then they push this out at least that's the impression I get here who knows though maybe this was the original vision from the start all the way back in 2014 they said we need jablinski games in here playing Steve regardless though right now it's only one teaser so maybe the next one comes out and it's great it blows

us all away you know maybe the movie comes out and it's extraordinary but I doubt it and many others are doubting it as well that's about it see you