story of the entire Bible, i guess

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Redeemed Zoomer
Summary of the Biblical narrative inspired by Bill Wurtz's "History of the entire world, i guess" wh...
Video Transcript:
hi you live on earth it's got a lot of cool stuff in it but why is it there the Bible has a story to tell in the beginning before there was anything before there was anywhere before there was any when there was God who was everywhere and every when he is isness itself and he has everything so he doesn't even need to create the world but God still created the world wait no it didn't look like that at first it was more formless and void and very dark but God let there be lights and others
light and this light stuff is pretty good so God separated it from the darkness and we should give these things names good news the water below is now separated from the water above even more good news now there's dry land and guess what now there's life just plans for now but the plants might have cleaned up the air so now you can see the sun moon and stars that's going to be very useful there's animals in the water there's animals in the air there's animals on the land and now it's time for God's coolest creation
so far God made a human person called Adam and gave him an awesome Garden but he was still lonely so God gave him a wife these two kinds of humans are made out of the same stuff but also different so they can have a relationship God gave them a lot of trees but two big important ones they're allowed to eat from this one because if they do they're going to live forever but God told them not to eat from this one because if they do they die seems like a pretty obvious choice right actually said
some snake who's actually the devil God doesn't want you to eat from this tree because you're going to become like him and he doesn't want you to get too powerful okay said eve okay said Adam so they ate from the tree and just like that Humanity had failed God's requirements for them they lost access to the Tree of Life which means they're going to end up dying Humanity had sided with Satan over God losing all rights to the life that God gave them so nobody could blame God if he ended Humanity right then and there
but God didn't do that God promised one day Satan would be destroyed by one of their kids but Adam and Eve already sinned so let's see if their kids can do any better Kane is mad at his brother Abel because Abel's better at having faith in God God tells Cain he needs to resist sin and Cain kills his brother why'd he do that well you see the problem of Adam's sin was passed down to Cain because the problem affects all of humanity so as humans multiply sin and evil multiply enough of this God chooses the
least evil guy a guy named Noah he's still a sinner but he has faith in God so he's a relatively decent guy compared to everyone else God tells him to build a boat for him and his family and everyone laughs at them until God makes a huge flood that kills everyone except them but once the flood passes God makes the rainbow the sign of his Covenant remember that promise that Satan's gonna be destroyed God adds to it saying he's not going to destroy the world again until then because now people are going to have some
basic decency God's not fixing the world yet but he's making it a stable enough place so that he can do that in the future so now people are not quite as evil as they were before they're good enough that they can work together in society but evil enough that they're going to use that to build a huge Tower up to God out of their own pride and evil people are dangerous when they're given too much power so God makes the whole Tower thing fail by dividing everyone's language so now people are divided into different nations
and these nations each have their own Gods but wouldn't it be cool if there was one nation specifically devoted to the one true God so God chose Abraham to be the father of his people and God updated the covenants saying that God's going to make a nation that he's going to use to fix the world God promised Abraham he's going to have as many kids as the stars in the sky and Abraham was like how's that going to be possible my wife is super old but Abraham still had faith in God's covenant so does that
mean he's the chosen one who's going to defeat Satan well sadly no because Abraham still sinned by telling the king that his wife was really his sister but they do have kids this one struggled with God so he got the name Israel which means struggled with God and his children are going to become the Twelve Tribes of Israel he struggled with God because sin is still a problem if you think your family is bad this one was so dysfunctional they sent Joseph to slavery in Egypt but while he was there God gave him the ability
to protect Egypt from starving to death so now Egypt loves Joseph and in a great Act of forgiveness Joseph invited the rest of his family back to live with him in Egypt so God was glorified through his people by turning a bad thing into a good thing at first Egypt likes the Israelites but when they multiply a lot Egypt stops liking them and enslaves them instead Moses is one of the Israelites and when he sees an Egyptian beating another Israelite he kills the Egyptian come on Israelites let's rise up bro you're gonna get us some
trouble so Moses has to flee Egypt and he moves to the middle of nowhere joins a sheep farm gets married and lives happily ever after but one day God Appears to Moses in a burning bush saying it's finally time for the Israelites to have that land God promised them so God tells Moses to tell the leader of Egypt to let his people go so Moses goes back to Egypt and tells Pharaoh let my people go no but God gives Moses the ability to cause plagues in Egypt let my people go or the river turns to
blood no or you get frogs everywhere no gnats no flies no dead livestock no boils no hail no locusts no darkness no let us go are your firstborn Sons will die no but then the firstborn Sons die so the Pharaoh is like okay fine you can leave so the Israelites set out for the promised land but when they're about halfway there Egypt changes its mind and sends the Army after them to bring them back they Corner them by the Red Sea we've got you surrounded oh yeah says Moses watch this so the Waters of the
Red Sea part the Israelites Escape but when the Egyptians try to follow them they unpause foreign on their Journey they take a rest stop at Mount Sinai so God can give them the law for when they live in the promised land Moses will go up to the top of the mountain to receive the law so he says don't worship any false gods while I'm gone bro I'm bored let's worship some false gods so they make a golden calf and worship it meanwhile on the top of the mountain the presence of God descends upon the mountain
and Moses receives the law on stone tablets including the Ten Commandments but when Moses goes back down and sees the Israelites worshiping a false god he gets so mad he smashes the stone tablets so he goes back up the mountain and gets new stone tablets and God adds to the Covenant sink he's going to give the people the law and the land if they're faithful to the Covenant so let's see how faithful they're going to be the people are approaching the promised land but the evil Canaanites already live there they have strong fortresses and big
scary soldiers and the Israelites are going to have to fight them to take over the land come on guys be brave God's going to be with you no we're too afraid so the Israelites turn away they don't invade the land which means they did not have faith in God's covenant so their punishment is they have to wander around the Sinai desert for 40 years but what about Moses he didn't do anything wrong so maybe he's the chosen one who's going to defeat Satan well no Moses still sinned by doing a miracle the wrong way so
his punishment is he's gonna die before he gets to enter the promised land but then the next generation of Israelites led by Joshua does enter the land uses trumpets to smash the city of Jericho and drives out the rest of the Canaanites cool now we finally have our land but who's going to rule us so God appoints judges to rule over the people and defend them from the enemy Nations because during this time there's a pattern that goes something like this there's peace in the land but then people get lazy and forget about God so
God lets their enemies conquer them but then people turn back to God so God strengthens them to reconquer their land and there's peace in the land again this pattern repeats many many times with many many different judges and people are starting to get sick bro why can't we just have a king trust me you don't want a king says Samuel come on everyone else has a king okay fine so Samuel but the king's gonna be oppressive so Samuel anoints Saul as king and sure enough Saul is an oppressive ruler you know who would be a
better ruler this young kid David he's just a shepherd and a string player so no one takes him seriously but one day a huge scary caveman Warrior Goliath shows up to fight the Israelites okay guys who wants to fight Goliath I'll do it says David so David takes out his slingshot hits Goliath in the head with a rock and kills him so now David's a hero and everyone loves David and Saul is getting pretty jealous of David especially because all the girls are chanting Saul has slain his thousands and David his tens of thousands so
Saul wants to kill David so David flees and Saul pursues him but one day David Gets a golden opportunity to kill Saul while he's using the bathroom but he doesn't so Saul forgives David but one day Saul dies to avoid being captured so David becomes the next king this is awesome it starts out really well and David gains a lot of Victories for his kingdom maybe he's the chosen one that's going to defeat Satan except no David sins because he likes this one woman so he has her husband killed in battle so he can steal
her so God makes everything go downhill for David after that but God still promises that one of David's descendants will be the king that he couldn't be have a kingdom that covers the entire world and lasts forever so let's add this to the Covenant maybe David's son Solomon can do it he's off to a great star asking God for wisdom and then writing down a bunch of wise sayings which impresses all the kings and queens of the earth who want to learn from Solomon and furthermore Solomon builds a huge beautiful Temple to glorify God so
right now his kingdom is a shining Beacon of light to the world and God is glorified through his people so maybe Solomon's that Future King who's going to rule the entire world except no Solomon sins by having a bunch of wives and Mistresses some of whom are not Israelites so Solomon ends up worshiping foreign gods and then everything goes downhill for Solomon as well and after this things kind of went downhill for the kingdom as a whole because people kept sinning more the kingdom split into Israel and Judah and both kingdoms got evil Kings who
worshiped pagan gods but it's not like everything was bad during this time period because a lot of great prophets arose who encouraged people to turn back to God and even when the temple was literally being used as a place of demon worship God never told the prophets to abandon the temple but instead to restore revive and retake the temple and there were actually some good Kings who listened to them and reformed the temple encouraging people to remember God's covenant but even with all this eventually Israel was eaten by Assyria Judah was eaten by Babylon they
smashed the temple and the Israelites were carried off to Exile eventually Persia got a nice King who let the Israelites go back to their land and even gave them money to rebuild their Temple maybe now it's finally time for that Eternal Kingdom so they're rebuilding the temple yo this is gonna be so great [Music] I don't know man it's just not like it was before they were kind of disappointed that it wasn't time for the Eternal Kingdom yet but they still had faith in God's covenant that that was going to happen eventually and the prophet
started focusing a lot on this Future King giving him names like a messiah or the son of man Daniel said that this Kingdom would Outlast all the other kingdoms Micah said this king would be born in Bethlehem Isaiah said this king would suffer for the sins of his people and Zechariah said God will send God to live with us does that mean this king is going to be God everyone's wondering about this Messiah when is he gonna come and who is he gonna be an Israelite woman named Mary sees an angel who says she's gonna
have a baby the baby's gonna be a king just like his ancestor David and his kingdom is never going to end bro I'm literally a virgin that's okay the holy spirit will give you a baby so your baby is literally going to be the son of God all right so Mary gives birth to Jesus in a manger in Bethlehem and calls him Emmanuel which means god with us I think there was a prophecy about that and three wise men show up to the party because of a star that they saw I is this where the
king was born we have some presents for him but then Herod heard that a great king was just born in Bethlehem king of Israel you say I am the only King around here I think there was a prophecy about this so King Herod got really jealous and ordered people to go to Bethlehem to kill this new baby king So Mary and her husband Joseph had to flee Bethlehem and go to Egypt until it was safe to come back I think there was a prophecy about this when Jesus grows up his first miracle was actually making
wine for a party because his mom told him to but his real Ministry doesn't start until he's baptized by John the Baptist John the Baptist is a guy in the wilderness who baptizes people and tells them to turn back to God I think there was a prophecy about this but when Jesus was baptized God declares that Jesus is his son and sends the Holy Spirit upon him right after that Jesus went into the desert and ate nothing for 40 days and that's when Satan tried to tempt Jesus to sin but he didn't sin up until
now John the Baptist was preaching about the kingdom of God but then he went to jail so Jesus Takes Over which makes sense because he's actually the king so what's the kingdom of God Like Jesus said the kingdom of God brings Liberation to the oppressed and is good news for poor people not just rich people but those who are poor and sad now are going to inherit the entire world and that this kingdom is the Fulfillment of everything God promised but he doesn't just tell people what the kingdom of God is he shows them by
casting out demons Healing The Sick and forgiving people sins he's going on tour through all the towns in the land doing all sorts of Miracles and everyone is amazed except the people from his hometown because it's embarrassing that they knew him as a kid Jesus chose 12 helpers and more and more people became his followers a lot of people loved Jesus but some people who did not love him were the Pharisees they were obsessed with following all the rules hoping to impress God so he would give back their Kingdom because right now the Israelites or
I guess now they're called Jews were living under the Roman Empire which was run by Gentile cells which are people who are not Jewish people and the Pharisees were hoping to bring back the Kingdom of Israel but Jesus Kingdom seemed to be about something different they didn't like how Jesus hung out with Sinners forgave other people's sins welcome to Gentiles told them to pay taxes to Rome and challenged their Authority so they thought Jesus was not the real Messiah but then one day on the top of a mountain Jesus was transfigured in front of other
people and Moses and Elijah big important people from the Old Testament appeared next to him so that made the Pharisees look really stupid so when Jesus entered Jerusalem the most important city where the temple was he was greeted like a king with people waving palm tree branches and people were even worshiping Jesus which made the Pharisees really mad everyone knows you're only supposed to worship God so if Jesus is accepting worship either he's God or he's blaspheming and I think you know which one the Pharisees went with so they plotted to kill Jesus Jesus was
predicting this so he summoned all his disciples for One Last Supper he took Bread and Wine saying the bread was his body and the wine was his blood and we should do this in remembrance of him and he made a New Covenant promising forgiveness of sins and he said that one of the disciples would betray him sure enough this one betrayed Jesus by helping people arrest him he did it because he was paid to some of the other disciples tried to fight back but Jesus told them not to do that because this all needs to
happen Jesus was handed over to the Roman soldiers led by Pontius Pilate who killed him by hanging him on a cross if you're wondering how painful crucifixion is it's where we get the word excruciating from Once Jesus died there was darkness and one of the soldiers was like uh guys I think we just crucified the Son of God I think there was a prophecy about this so Jesus totally could have stopped this from happening so why didn't he well you may remember everything kept failing because people kept sinning Jesus was the only one who didn't
sin so he made a sacrifice for sin to solve the problem of sin and people realized Jesus was indeed the Messiah or the Christ Jesus was buried in a tomb on the third day some women came to visit the tomb and found the tomb empty then Jesus appeared alive to the women then Jesus appeared alive to the disciples Thomas had his doubts at first but then he believed and realized Jesus was God so they all worshiped Jesus because they realized Jesus was the chosen one who defeated Satan he defeated Satan by defeating death when he
rose from the dead and Jesus ate a fish to prove that his resurrection was physical then Jesus gave them the ultimate Bible study explaining how all the scriptures were about him he was doing this to train them to build the church hold up why do we have to do this isn't Jesus gonna start his kingdom now well Jesus said it wasn't for them to know when that was going to happen but for now the church is the kingdom and he commanded them to baptize people all over the world and convert all the nations and with
that Jesus ascended into heaven but he promised he would come back one day and in the meantime he sent the Holy Spirit to empower them to build the church so now Jesus is in heaven but it's not like he's gone he's ruling over his kingdom from Heaven through the church and when he comes back he's going to bring Heaven down to earth to redeem it you know how Jesus rose from the dead he's going to raise everyone from the dead on Judgment Day he's gonna throw Satan into hell finally and he's even gonna throw death
into hell so death won't exist anymore and we can finally eat from the Tree of Life and live in a perfect world forever so why does everything exist it all exists for Jesus and for his kingdom he's going to conquer everything and make all bad things good the question is do you want to be a part of that
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