23 Questions to Stop Feeling Lost in Life

everyone is lost just different degrees of lost fulfillment is the knowing that you are enough and meaning is knowing you're doing the thing you were meant to do wealthy people look at time as a resource that they can't get back and they're always looking for ways to spend money to save time not spend time to save money you literally can bet on you you can do what you want to do you can decide to wake up and create a world a future where what you do is your source of income who you are is how

you make money go all in you might wake up in 18 months 24 months a completely new youth the end of the day we all end up in the same place we move on from this physical experience so why does it matter why does it matter why does it matter that you get up today here's what I believe do you think it's like normal to feel lost in life yeah I think I think everyone is lost just different degrees of lost so many ways maybe happiness is coming to terms that you have more questions and

answers and that's probably okay and normal why do some people feel like you know I have no meaning I hear this all the time 18-year-old 17y old kids are like oh Dan I don't really have you know meaning or purpose for my life H I think think the people that have no meaning it's because they think they're supposed to know how everything today is align to some greater magical future like that you know this little grain of sand builds this brick that builds this wall that builds this building that's eventually a temple and it all

works nobody in the history of success accomplishment athletic ever can tell you that they ever had that alignment what they had was the belief that making forward progress every day was the path to discover that and knowing that there's a good chance they'll be wrong and being wrong is okay if you're going to live for a hundred years okay or even 50 years that's a long time you got 50 years to iterate and learn and test and play they put way too much pressure on themselves to figure out their meaning and then it paralyzes them

which is double so then then it compounds I'm paralyzed so I don't take action then I don't make progress and then I beat myself up for not making progress which not makes me not feel good then I go do the thing I know I can do to be successful so I I do simple mediocre right maybe go take a class I know how to do well at or go take a job that I know how to do well at and that's not the point of it all the point is to figure out who you are

and how can you share you with the world where does meaning and purpose come from purpose for me comes next to the worst thing that's ever happened to you see I believe that you are given your gifts through your trials like the worst thing that ever happened to you I don't wish that on anybody but I know who you are today is a byproduct of that and your giftedness your skill is because of what you went through a lot of people blame their parents for the childhood and who they became or you know the the

the challenges that they experience but if you're happy with your life you feel like because of what I went through I'm determined and I have grit and I'm and I'm resourceful and all these things it's like well stop blaming your parents for all the bad stuff and start blaming them for all the good stuff you can't blame them for one and not the other so first off purpose comes from helping other people get through or avoid the worst thing that's ever happen to you that's what I believe if you're willing to look there your gift

sits right next to the worst things ever happened to you that's purpose in regards to meaning I believe that if you wake up to serve other people that is a life of meaning that feels fulfillment like you feel fulfillment not happiness I don't like happiness I like fulfillment fulfillment to me is a beingness happiness is a moment happiness is a cup of coffee it could be money it could be external possessions achievements recognition fulfillment is the knowledge and knowing that you are enough and meaning is the byproduct of knowing you're doing the thing you were

meant to do how can I build a life that I don't hate first off you got to stop living a life for other people there's no world where you will not hate yourself for making decisions based on what other people will be happy with you for period full stop and here's why when it gets hard those people that you're doing whatever you're doing for they're not going to show up and bail you out they're not going to magically give you money they're not going to come in and do the work with you to get yourself

out of the issue so you're making decisions based on other people that honestly even the idea of what they think you might have made up it may not even be true that's fascinating to then own the life that you have to live because you're worried about upsetting other people the way you live a life that you don't grow to hate is to continuously ask yourself what lights me up what is my happiness like what are the things you do when you procrastinate I find that a great question people like what should I do with my

life I'm like what do you do when you want to not do anything productive well I like watching football I like doing this I like doing that all I've learned is today especially today with the internet you can literally make a living doing anything people like I can't do anything yes do you like flipping rocks yeah I love flipping rocks cool you could go build a business flipping rocks really yep yep you could probably figure out how to record Tik Tok videos of you exploding and flipping rocks and become sponsored by caterpillar and never have

to work another day in in your life caterpillar will give you probably a brand deal worth 100 Grand a year and you can spend all your time trying to figure out how to flip rocks then that's too that doesn't make sense yeah it does there's a kid that makes $25 million a year opening toys a kid Ry toys a kid that gets makes $25 million a year doing something he would pay to do most most kids pay or their parents pay to buy toys for them to unbox them or open them up he gets paid

to do the thing that he would do for free or that he would even pay to do I mean it literally is that simple but most people aren't even going to decide to do that because they're worried what if it doesn't work work what if it does work then what then yeah you'll have a responsibility to show up every day see it's easy to go to work for somebody else and have them tell you what to do because then you're not responsible for anything most people get up go to work and have somebody else tell

them where to be what time to do and here's the meeting and here's what I need you to do next because they don't want to be responsible for the future how about being accountable to yourself your dreams and owning hey it may not work out but at least I did it my way what if I'm scared about what my parents are going to think of me here's what I learned a long time ago unless your parents have a life that you admire and you want to replicate asking your parents for advice is a flawed strategy

because if you turn to them especially for the big decisions when I think about like what job should I take what where should I go to school what city should I live in if you turn to your parents for advice on that decision don't be surprised if you get the exact same life they got because you turn to them for advice and you put their strategies and ideas as you put them up on a pedestal I like to go to a mentor somebody that has achieved the thing I want to do and the cool part

is in today's world doesn't even have to be a real Mentor in person it could be somebody online that you just admire and you just look at their story their biography and just go like oh they at this age at my age they decide to do this instead of that and that open up this door so you can actually study other people that could become virtual mentors to replicate their decisions to achieve a life that you admire not turn to your parents so that's I just think for a lot of people and and I have

two boys I know that my job is not to be the person they turn to when they have big life decisions but to create an environment where they have people that I admire and trust and respect to be available to them that they want to talk to so that they get counsel but if they going to go create a life that I've never done before I'm not the person to ask I will be there I will care for them I will love them but I also tell them all the time do not do anything for

me or your mom like two nights ago put my kids to bed and I said hey I just got to share something with you guys they're like What's that I need you guys understand it's going to be hard but please please never do anything to try to make me happy or mom happy you've got to make decisions for you CU I'm not going to be there when you have to deal with the situation that you created by listening to me like if it's the wrong decision for you I don't know you you you know the

conversations you have inside your mind buddy like I don't I will always love you no matter what that that's 100% whether you win or lose or whatever I will always love you so please make the decisions based on what you need what you want to do because that's a way to create a life that you don't grow to hate how can I find a mentor mentors are all around you they're all around you it's so cool most people spend all their time wishful thinking messaging these super influential famous people they go if I could just

talk to this person my life would be better and the funny part is you're so different from that person for many of these folks their advice won't even make sense to you so working all that time and energy to get on a phone call or get around them to ask them the pretty General broad question to then not be able to even ask a follow-up question to clarify anything it's just a flawed strategy what I would recommend is find people in your city specifically and this is the the trick find people that sit on Boards

of nonprofits right and you're like well that person's never built a 10 million follower on Instagram uh no but they own a $100 million construction company they run a $50 million architectural company they run a $60 million design company or whatever it is they literally in your city there are the CEOs and founders of these Mega companies employ hundreds if not thousands of people that have shown to you just the fact they sit on a board of a nonprofit that they care about their community and I will tell you what they don't have they don't

have 1,200 messages like I do every day from young people asking to Mentor them because they're busy and they don't put out content but they're available to you and reaching out to them and saying something very simple like John I'm 18 years old I have an aspiration to start a business do you have seven minutes for a quick phone call here's my cell number if that's easier or I would love to come to your office at any time just let me know I'll drop what I'm doing to show up 99% of the people receiving that

email are going to reply and they're going to make time for you they might even just click the phone number give you a call and I just think people make it out to be a lot harder or they discount certain people because that person isn't famous internet famous influencer when I would argue those people are a better Mentor for you my first three mentors were people that were inside my state these are entrepreneurs that had built company silar than mine at the time I didn't know their names somebody else recommended to them and those people

changed my life they didn't have a program they didn't have uh a seminar they literally gave me time out of their lunch that turned into a two-hour meeting that turned into a lifelong friendship of people that I can lean on and that built my confidence to go do bigger things what should I do for a mentor being a good mentee that's the strategy see a lot of people have the chance to talk to a potential mentor and they they kyash it they do a lot of stupid things man they they talk too much because they

were like well I need this person to know I'm serious so they just sit there for 90% of the conversation and just talk talk talk talk talk talk The MENTOR is like this is silly like I'm what would are you pitching me right now what's going on right they won't say that they'll be kind they'll smile and then you'll never hear from them again being a great Mente is being prepared like if you send that email with your phone number you better have five questions ready to go so that if they just happen to have

a meeting canceling them and want to call you you're like thank you so much for the time I've got five questions prepared this is my first question that's what a great Mente does they come prepared they they understand the person and what they've done their questions are very specific to their unique experience and then the big kicker is after the fact they might wait three weeks and they'll they'll follow up and they'll say John thanks again for that quick phone call meant the world to me base on your advice I took this this and this

away from it I changed these things in my life and this has been the impact on my life thank you so much really appreciated it guess what that person's going to do they're going to reply and say wow that was really great hit me up any other time if I can be helpful now you got a mentor as soon as somebody gives you advice and then tells you those words if there's anything else that comes up let me know I'd love to help you now have permission to start a relationship and I would say this

is my big thing if you have a meaningful problem going on in your life use that for your mentors like some people have like massive problems going on and they don't want to burden their Mentor because it's like well I want to figure it out first and then go to them no don't waste a good crisis you got something mey for that person to dig into that's my favorite thing I don't like I want people to come to me with hard stuff not the easy stuff so just next time you feel like you're struggling not

too often use that as an opportunity for another seven minute phone call and follow the same pattern based on our conversation here's what I took away this is why I changed these are the results thank you again and just do that three four times a year and that builds a really solid foundation for a mentor what if I'm surrounded by toxic people one of the most powerful things you can do to shift your life is to change the conversations you allow yourself to have and be present to see it's not even well I don't engage

with that kind of stuff if you're around it and you hear it it affects your psychology it affects your mood it affects your energy and if there's people in your life specifically family members that you would classify as toxic you're allowed to create space and you don't have to be rude about it you don't have to be angry about it you don't have to create a big scene you can literally decide to not reply to text messages or be slow to reply not accept the invite for dinner right or choose to say hey I'd love

to come to dinner but I've only got 90 minutes because I've got a meeting right after is that okay they go okay you go have dinner say hello and then move on you can decide to minimize the amount of exposure with said toxic people the key is to then use that new time to fill it up with people that support your dreams see I really think there's two types of people people that support your dreams and people that take from your dreams and and you just know which one they are if I called them right

now and told them good news would they be happy for me or would they criticize me if they criticize you you know what bucket they're in if they would be happy for you I have my friend some people are like oh well I don't know any other entrepreneurs and most people work normal jobs and they don't understand how to be happy for me not true my friend my best friend Marty works in the government he's worked there for 26 years he is one of the first people I call when I interview Dana White go go

check out that uncut video interview Dana White first person I called after is my buddy Marty okay and I will tell you that guy I could feel his energy like he was jumping through the phone with excitement for me and I just think those people exist and you know you can listen to your heart and just try to spend more time with them and spend less time with the people that take from you you got to do a friend ventory it's okay you're allow like but I don't want to hurt their feelings okay are you

responsible for their feelings I I didn't know I didn't know you became the feeling police for everybody in in your family because I I realize I'm only responsible for my feelings I can't control anybody else I can control the standard I hold myself to I can control what I do at my time I can control the conversation I have but what I can't control is other people's feelings so I would just get on board with that and create some space around the people that are taken away from the potential of you achieving your dreams and

guess what if you truly love them the most important thing you can ever do for another person if you truly care about them is to inspire them and you will never Inspire them from playing small so you got to create the space to go do something to go play big so that when they're ready and they watched you and they knew who you were and now you're just you're winning at such a level that doesn't make sense to them if they're mature enough and they're ready they will reach out and in that moment I trust

me it happens it might take a decade okay my brother I think it took him six years and they finally reached out and said hey Dan I need your help boom it was the coolest moment in the world I waited for 6 years for him to finally realize his situation wasn't where he wanted to be i' built success finally after two failed companies my third one finally made me a millionaire and he wanted to do a change in his career and he reached out to me and I was ready some of you guys want to

help people but you're not even ready to help them and they're not even ready to get help themselves and if you go and grab that person that's sinking you're just going to bring down both ships so sometimes we just got to disconnect from a sinking ship to go make sure we go on our journey so that if whatever miraculous way they find way back you can help them how can I cut out toxic people for my life the best way to cut out toxic people from your life is just create some space it might require

you move into a new city too I'm not oppose to that I've done it several times in my life I think it's one of the coolest things a lot of people that you know either go through a divorce or a breakup or whatever and they're like I don't know what I want to do next it's like well do you want to move and live in another city it's like yeah I really do this is a perfect time you know I think reinvention is actually a beautiful consideration especially in the back end of some massive pain

if you go through something really difficult like I've had several friends go through divorces and I'm like look I know it's hard especially if there's kids involved but right now if you take all that energy and put it into Reinventing yourself and clean up do that for inventory create some space with the toxic people maybe consider moving to a new city going and getting the degree or starting that business or whatever take all that that Focus that negative energy go to the gym get in the best shape of your life you know don't waste a

good crisis use that go all in you might wake up in 18 months 24 months a completely new you because you took that opportunity to reset so to me it's just I just don't reply you know the high school friend that just happened to be a friend of mine on Facebook because I sat next to them in a class when I was 15 years old I don't have to reply to those messages you can pretend like you don't get Messenger you're you're allowed to act as if the email went to spam or that you just

didn't see it like it's impossible for you to see every message you might not you say I don't know I didn't see that I'm sorry just don't look just ignore it you're allowed to ignore like there's no rule that says You must respond to every person that talks to you you're allowed to say I'm on path and I am going to put my heads down and I'm not getting distracted and and if you're a people pleaser that might be really tough for you because you don't want anybody not liking you but again you don't control

their emotions you control you how can I find positive people to add to my life so what I've discovered is positive people are usually busy being busy so you got to go find where they're busy so where are positive people well they're at the meetups the entrepreneural meetups they're at the fitness events right the CrossFit events the triathlon events the half marathons the High Rock events whatever it is they're they're doing physical events the the tough mutters the Spartans they're they're there they're um part of organizations nonprofits right positive people they're playing organized Sports typically

POS positive people um they're part of book clubs right they're part of accelerators they're part of Economic Development they're they're active in their Community right tell you where they're not they're not at the pub they're not watching the football game on Sunday at the bar like they're you know like they're doing stuff they're busy being busy so what you got to do is you got to get into those groups say hello ask them their name remember their name and then just keep showing up and asking good questions and being curious and maybe read the book

How to Win Friends influence people there are ways if you're shy introverted if you want to call yourself that where you can learn how to act the way you should act if you're more extroverted and give yourself a chance to build some new relationships but it's going to require you to you know act outside your comfort zone like I get it you're like I don't want to talk talk to people it's like well how are you supposed to meet new people you're going to wait until they have enough courage or decide to come talk to

you no how would you approach someone to make a friend the easiest way to approach somebody to make a friend is to ask them their name my kids were little like three four years old we' go to the park they would run over and they would say like daa daa that's what they call me daa they like I made a friend I'd say what's their name and they go I don't I don't know and I go then you didn't make a friend yet go ask him his name and they'd run over and ask her name

run back his name's Isaac okay you have a friend named Isaac now super cool and I really think it starts with that it's that simple just can you get used to asking people their name and then use their name in the follow-ups and then ask them if there's anything about their life that you can help them with if you're copywriter a web designer a marketer you might not even have any skills but your skill is you know people and the key is to ask questions so that you can figure out what that person's up to

that you might be able to offer solutions to their problems so you might ask them like what what do you got exciting the next six months going on on your in your business well we got our big annual event it's like oh what's the event about well it's about leadership huh do you know my buddy g g Who G Max well well I've heard of them yeah gar is one of the top leadership speakers did you want me to connect you guys cuz I know he's looking for opportunities to do more well that would be

amazing all right let me do that it only comes on the back end of you being curious and vice versa check this out most people are too humble to have other people find Opportunities to help you think about that some of you are sitting next to a person on a plane and you're successful and because you don't want to come off as too braggadocious you don't give the person enough to sink into you don't even tell them that you run a 50 person company doing six s million a year and that you are looking to

expand internationally you're just like I have a business it's a little you'll say it's a little business that person might have a little business too but it might only be five people and they think they're a big business and they think you have a smaller business than they do so they have no way to offer to help you because you haven't given them enough so like sometimes I'm talking to some I'll offer them hey do you know anybody on on this aspect we're hiring a revenue leader right now somebody has this kind of experience or

anybody that comes to mine or maybe a recruiter I could reach out to often times I'll use my challenges as a way to build rapport and relationships with people and that's how you make a friend so there's there's professional friends but to go to the friendship level I would encourage you to invite them out to hike or to do something you know figure out if they're into pickle ball or they're into mountain biking or snowboarding whatever it is for you find out hey what do you do on the weekends what are your hobbies what do

you what do you enjoy doing you got to choose the thing that you can do that you would want to do but to me that is that's the difference between just having like a work acquaintance versus a friendship and the big one if you're this is next level this is like super duper high level invite them to your home break bread share meal if you really want to have a friendship with somebody I will tell you when I moved to the new city I live in now I've been here 3 years the first week I

had four different people invite me into their home to have dinner with them and that was a big motivation for why my wife and I decided to move here because we just fell in love with the the hospitality the people the openness so that might be a scary concept for you well why would I invite people to my apartment I'm telling you they live in apartment too and you inviting them to yours and cooking or having somebody cook and hosting four or five other people that's that's the the the depth that most people don't play

at and it's why most people don't live a rich life the relationships aren't deep they keep everybody arms length it's like surface it's like I don't really want you to know who I really am definitely don't want you in my home I'm just saying I learned a long time ago the freest person is a person with no secrets if you want to have a lightness about you where people just feel like you're you're just sure of yourself and confidence like just put everything out on the table and just invite them if you live in a

little apartment it's okay invite them to your little apartment show them why you love that place show them why you like that neighborhood invite a cool couple other cool people that you might enjoy and make an evening out of it have some fun if you've never tried it I guarantee on the other side of that is at least a lesson or lesson right you're either going to learn what worked and you'll do it better or it's going to be a blessing and you'll realize you made some lifelong friends how do you create motivation H that's

a great question I am motivated by growth there's two core values for most humans that I think drive them if they're really honest with themselves one of them is growth the other one is contribution if you ask somebody what they would want to do with their life if they knew they only had 12 months to live they would probably want to double down in spending time with people people that they love and they admire but they would want to pour into those people right you ever you ask a parents like okay you got 12 months

to live what do you want to do well I want to travel the world with my kids what are you going to do with your kids I'm going to do cool stuff with my kids I'm going to teach them stuff I'm going to show them stuff they want to pour in they want to contribute right people want to feel like they've had sign significance the only way to contribute is to be on a growth Journey think about it you can't pour from an empty cup if you are not trying to learn and develop new skills

all the time then you have nothing to offer other people so that's what a lot of people are stuck they're like I don't have a meaning I don't have a purpose it's like you haven't developed yourself enough to be valuable to help somebody else have your support to provide you know value for your for you to feel there was meaning in your work it's funny because a long time ago I heard this crazy story about a guy and it's a difference between interested and committed right he was saying you know a lot of people say

they're committed to their goals and their dreams but they're not they're fairly they're only interested and the difference is and he used this analogy he said if if you had a goal let's say six months from now to make $100,000 somehow someway and you knew okay so there's like the person that wakes up and says I want $100,000 in six months that person is interested in that result they're motivated but you know they're just I'd like it it's a like it's not a must the other person is told hey you know that person you love

the most if you don't make $100,000 the next six months that person's life is at risk and they truly believed it all of a sudden when you ask somebody you know the person that doesn't have anybody's life at risk how how uh probable is that outcome they'll say I don't know probably like a six out of 10 the person that has the risk associated it's a 10 out of 10 you know what I mean like think about it the person you love the most if you knew that not achieving that would cause something bad to

happen to them it's a 10 out of 10 what's the difference motivation most people are motivated by dark energy meaning that they're trying to prove people wrong it's a heavy energy though it's kind of like energy that's stored in the trunk of your car it's the it's the the people that said you wouldn't win it's the people that bet against you it's the bully from school it's the teacher that said you were dumb it's the parent that said you never amount to anything so that pain will Propel you forward but it's a dark energy and

it will motivate you I've seen people build Empires over the fact they wanted to prove Johnny from high school wrong or Lisa the girl that cheated on him for the high school you know valid dictorian or the the football the head of the football team and they wanted to prove to Lisa she made the wrong I've seen people build Empires over that that's motivation right because they have a desire to show somebody that they made the wrong decision however the other motivation is the desire to contribute the dire desire to give to help other people

see if you can get to a place where you're willing to sacrifice your own well-being to help more people than just yourself that creates light energy and light energy instead of it being a push from the Dark Energy Right Dark Energy pushes you forward out of anger pain you know fear honestly the light energy pulls you forward and it pulls you and inspires you and what's crazy is the light energy is 10 times more potent than the dark energy dark energy is like diesel fuel light energy is like solar unlimited untapped sun power right it

is bright it is powerful and it pulls you forward like a magnet where you'll do more for other people when they need you to show up than you'd ever do for yourself to prove some other person wrong that may never even know that you did that because you haven't seen them in 15 years just saying that's how you motivate that's that's literally motivation right how do you overcome lack of focus or ADHD I have such severe ADHD that I've designed my whole life to deal with distractions so for example a lot of things I do

I do not have notifications on my phone zero frustrates my wife how come you never answer your phone when I call how come you never replied on my text message I can't have notifications on I need to focus and when I'm focused I'm in it to win it so that's right off the bat when I work I have to put headphones on with very specific music type with no lyrics in it and it even some of it binal beats like it's the music's designed to help me Focus I have a timer I have a digital

timer on my laptop and I have a physical timer on my desk and I do a Pomodoro 30 minutes I do block time where I've prepped I know what projects I need to move forward I put those in my calendar and I attack that list I do not allow people to bug me when I'm working the gut a second meetings ain't going to happen ceue up all the questions you want to ask me and then schedule some time next few days and we'll get to them no sugar I can't have sugar my mind I can

literally see my mind wander off and I'm like ah and I'm trying to like do some really deep creative work I have to frontload all of my creative work in the morning when my mind is the sharpest I have to go to the gym to exhaust my body to tame my mind to focus because of my ADHD I got put on medication when I was 11 years old from ADHD and for my whole life I felt broken and it turns out that I actually wasn't broken I was very normal I'm just different than most people

not bad different freaking amazing different I'm so happy that I am extraordinary so that I can live an extraordinary life but I had to learn how to teame and focus my lack of attention and it turns out that because of that I can hyperfocus now and I can accomplish and create from a place of connection with my Creator source that most people when they see these ideas they're like where did you come up with that it's just cuz I create the environment for me to win and I just had to own it like I had

to get good at making money so I can buy back my time so I can pay people to do the accounting because I'll tell you I can't stand sitting there doing basic boring paperwork I love looking at Financial models I hate creating them somebody else create them and then let me play with the CES and figure out strategically all the different parts show me how it works but I don't want to sit there and create that stuff I don't want to go and do bank reconciliation I don't want to you know sit mundane and copy

paste stuff or move folders around or whatever so I had to do it for myself where I knew I wouldn't be even a productive person in the world I just have a positive coping mechanism for some of the trauma I went through people that are on streets they just have a negative coping mechanism for some of the trauma they went through but we are very similar and I've never ever ever forgotten that so I have to work harder I have to do things that for a lot of people would seem crazy like I would never

turn off notifications on my phone I have to what's your biggest Focus hot I got to say yeah it's it's music and a timer like I can sit there with a laptop I can be in the middle of the busiest intersection in the world and if I have my music in my ears and I have a timer and I know what I'm working on I you could you could be going by kicking dancing throwing knives juggling whatever I don't I'm just I'm plugged in I'm heads down I'm focused on my work and I love that

I get into flow really give myself the chance think be creative singular Focus I've fallen in love with my work I love love love to create that's like my favorite place now but I had to build that muscle do you think social media is bad for kids these days I don't think computers or laptops are bad I don't think iPads are bad I don't think phones are bad I don't think video games are bad I don't think I think the problem is parents that use it for the wrong reasons and don't educate their kids on

the mindset for how to actually look at it there's nothing wrong with technology there's something wrong with parents that use technology to avoid being parents you should use technology to educate your kids there's no future where them not knowing how to do certain things on a computer is a good thing for them right some people are like my kids aren't on devices well guess what my kids are and they're going to run circles around your kids cuz my kids are using in chat GPT and stable diffusion and video editing and they're doing very creative digital

economy type stuff while your kids aren't they' never heard of cap cut just saying like the future of the knowledge workers is not non-digital so don't handicap your kids by not giving them the tools just teach them right and teach them about their self-esteem see a lot of parents don't even police what their kids are doing and they're creating content already and they're trying to get liks and comments and Views to sooe their own sense of worth because they don't feel enough to you because of the way you talk to them and that is not

a byproduct of Technology that's a byproduct of you being a parent so building your kids self-esteem telling them about their greatness telling them about how amazing they are supporting them the right way not enabling them I was at a tournament this weekend with my kids a soccer tournament there's a kid running his shoelace is untied the dad next to me goes hey number 11 your shoelace is untied he looks at us looks down at his shoelace screens back I don't know how to tie my shoelace and then runs off the field to his mom who

ties a shoelace you think she has a kid that has an iPad problem there's other issues there that that's like to me devices is not the problem how you use the device the psychology of your children because of your example and those two things come together and just honestly just think about like how do I prepare my kids for the future I want my kids to understand how to use Ai and video editing those things 100% are going to be part of their work they're going to stand above and beyond everybody else in the job

market or in their business just because I didn't protect them from a device I built their personal self-esteem and their selfworth so that they didn't need social media to replace that what do you hope to teach your kids about happiness I hope my kids realize that happiness is a flawed strategy you a lot of people think well I got to be successful to be happy the funny part is you got to be happy to be successful think about it if you had free time right now and you wanted to help somebody you got two people

you got Mr Grumpy pants you got Mr Happy Face who are you going to help you're going to help Mr Happy Face Mr Happy Face sounds like fun I want to talk to him I got I got a half hour to help somebody people think that once they accomplish then they will be the key is is to be and then you will accomplish so my whole philosophy with my kids is to show them that life is about being in a a beingness of fulfillment right how do you do that well you celebrate the progress not

the destination as a simp one simple concept when I'm hiking with my kids and we get stuck at a certain spot I don't point to the Mountaintop and say we're almost there I say look down to the car look how far it is do you see how much How Far We've gone do you know how strong you've become just to get here and I celebrate the progress when a when my kid comes to me and they're like hey look at this I just finished this puzzle or whatever I said tell me about the times you

wanted to give up tell me about all the moments where you're just like couldn't find the peace I want to hear about that what did you do what did you tell yourself in those moments how did you find the peace because obviously you must have had some struggles I want to hear about that you know when they um there's so many I just I just pretty much do the opposite of what school does bad schools good schools do this oh I don't I don't uh I don't care what my kids' grades are I literally don't

and it turns out most schools don't even use grades anymore which is fascinating you know achieving not achieving whatever the language they use when they come to me and they're like hey I got my report card I go do you want me to see it because I don't need to see it I care that you're doing stuff that you feel good obviously you're not behind I learned a long time ago there's two things I'm responsible well two there's more than that but there's two big ones reading and writing if a kid can read and write

by grade three they are 90% going to be great most kids that don't do that because their parents don't read with them that's the problem so I'm I'm more interested in showing my kids that life is about doing hard things and that fulfillment comes from choosing to do something that is hard and you do it anyway or even being willing to realize you're worth investing in yourself like the other day one of my kids wanted to um edit a video but he needed a different software and I said well you should go buy that other

software W he's like well I don't want to waste my allowance money and I said well then understand that if you want to get better at something you have to make an investment he's like well I'll try to figure it out I said you could or you could just decide to make an investment so you can get faster so you can do the thing so maybe down the road you can get paid to do this like this is what your dad does I literally take money buy things invest in stuff to become better to become

more valuable to the world I want my kids to understand this not when they have to go to university and pay for their education I want them to be paying for their education when they're 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 I want them to just understand that that's just how you move in life what's your process for goal setting my process for goal setting is kind of unique it's very different there's a few layers to it and I'll give you some the high level but there's a whole Nuance to it that's more spiritual

that most people wouldn't understand however first off I listen to my heart for what I think I should accomplish in life like I I I really I call it a flood of Consciousness and I go get quiet and I ask my Creator what do you want me to create with my life I am a tool for you to create on this world and I just listen to my heart and I take that and I do that every year every year I reset okay I'm not I'm not tied to any specific path in life I'm tied

to honoring that Journey then I look at like 25 years from now what what does he want me to do then I pull those things back into annual goals and then what I do is first off I make a list of everything I want to do or buy this year so if I want to buy there's a new chair in my office awesome chair as chair brand new Supercar that's on there trip with my family that's on there so essentially I put all the things that I want to spend money on and then I look

at my goals and I put them as a milestone on journey to achieve my goals so for example on my fitness journey I had one of the cars I wanted to buy my my Urus my Lamborghini Urus was Project visible ABS did that then I had a business goal a new company I started and we hit that that unlocked the GT3 touring beautiful car by the way then the on the way up fitness-wise 215 lean right which was something I never even thought possible unlock the Ferrari Pista and I just I keep doing that and

what's fun is that I I I share my goals and what they unlock often times the fitness goals will unlock an experience with the family and I just won't go like I have an annual snowboarding trip and usually there's some goal that's tied to that I won't go on the trip it's never happened because I'm motivated see how I did the motivation but that's how it works you tie your rewards to your goals or at least a milestone along your goals then what I do is once I have my 12 power goals for the year

for each one of them I ask myself what are the resources that I have access to the people the products the tools the courses the anything resources what I want to achieve this goal what are my res oh I know the person sit on this board they could probably help me get you know wholesale pricing for this thing so I can do this charity thing cool so I write down all the resources then I connect triggers to them right and I try to remind myself to review so I review my goals three times a day

and that that alone would change the game for you so three times a day I look at my 12 goals for the year and I look at and I just ask myself like am I aligned with those things is my calendar reflection of those those goals are my standards a reflection of those goals and then for each one of them I break the goal into the daily Weekly Standard I would have to uphold to achieve that goal see James CLE talks about this says most people won't rise to the size of their goals they'll fall

to the level of their systems so at the beginning of a race an Iron Man like I've done or an ultra everybody's got the same goal to be number one or to obviously finish but the person who had the best system for training is going to win most people don't ask themselves what would the daily weekly Rhythm routine standard would I need to adhere to to make that goal inevitable so if I wanted to get to a physical fitness level that is the best shape I've ever been in my life well for 6 months what's

the standard is it 2,000 calories a day 190 grams of protein and break a sweat every day if that's the standard that's what you got to do but you got to design it so that whatever the standard if it's 100 calls you want to do a business goal a financial goal like what is the standard you will commit to and that'll actually show you how much capacity you have in your calendar because most people set a list of too many goals that they don't have time to actually accomplish because they haven't broken it down to

the actual activities they would have to hold for a long period of time for them to achieve that goal that's what makes my process very unique is I connect the goal to the standard to the resources to the rewards to the triggers that I then review when I sit in my car when I sit at a certain desk when I sit in a chair to make sure that I'm always keeping them front and center most people set their goals once throughout the year and then never look at them ever again again I'm looking at them

two to three times a day and what's the spiritual part of your goal sing process the spiritual part is to connect with my Creator every morning and ask him for help see more I study Faith all Faith I've realized that he actually tells us to ask him for help most people don't I give him all the craziest toughest things hey I have no idea I call them goals are meant to grow you so like there's goals that I don't know anybody that's ever done this I've never done it for sure and I really need some

help and I use that connection to my Creator to give him hey could you could you bring a person into my life could you point me in a direction could you remind me of a resource that I forgot that I had could you inspire me to write some words that might connect with somebody that could reach out and support this goal could I could you remember to remind me to say something on my hike on Tuesday to everybody that comes to tell them about a specific goal you know and as I say that I go

oh yeah I should speak my goals more often out loud because we speak our futures into existence it's like oh yeah I forgot okay I'll do that thank you like literally sometimes it's just you know I realized a long time ago my first thought's not my thought think about this if you're driving and you have a thought you didn't ask for that thought you didn't even think of that thought it came to you you're in the shower you have a thought where did that come from think about that where did it come from now your

job is what you do with that thought what meaning you associate to it what action you take from it what it inspires I think that's the coolest thing in the world so all I'm trying to do every day is set myself up in a position where I can receive see most people don't get ready to receive they don't prepare if you knew you're going to have a baby in 9 months wouldn't you get ready to have such said baby yeah you would get the crib get some clothes put a you know a room together create

the nest most people do not get ready to receive Their Blessings they've been asking for they don't prepare the goal setting the standards the spiritual alignment the triggers that's preparation to receive do you believe in manifestation I believe in manifestation I believe in the quantum I believe I'm a woo woo guy backed by science like study the literature there is no doubt that there is energy I mean the simple concept of Mr Happy Face and Mr Grumpy pants like that simple energy your frequency is what you will see if you are a happy person you

you will see happiness if you are a sad person you're going to walk through the world with a cloud over your head you know see I learned a long time ago studying all so thinking Grow Rich is the book that most successful people will always point to as a pivotal moment when they started to understand how it all worked how they finally realized and they don't write about this in the book but this is what I took away from it everything in existence right now this desk this mic this shirt first existed in the mind

of a person from the past so think about that your life right now watching this on the device you're watching it you're essentially living in the dreams of people from the past that's kind of a crazy idea so if you realize this that nothing exists in the physical form before first being in existence in the mind of their imagination then how do you create from that place well the world isn't as it is it's as you are you're experience in the world there are people that think the world is a bad place and full of

angry people and full of people take advantage of them and as they go through the world and they have these beliefs they find examples of that left right and Center all day long they're like see that person's evil that person took advantage of that person this they will find examples the other person like me I believe the world is full of kind people motivated people generous people uh good Opportunity Unlimited res I literally believe the world has unlimited Capital available to great ideas and to great people period full stop it just does that's why I'm

zero surprised that I find those opportunities I'm zero surprised that I end up coaching a guy Kevin who eventually decided to leave his firm to then come and co-create a $100 million hold Co with me to buy a software company every month is that magic is that manifestation yeah because you have to hold the belief that it's true you'll only receive for yourself what you desire for others think about that idea if all these things are true then the best energy to be in the best way to manifest is to Aspire and help other people

achieve what they want you know a long time ago I think Dale you said you can a you can accomplish anything if you help enough other people accomplish what they want if your dreams and goals are big enough for everybody on your team's dreams and goals to fit inside of then you will accomplish what you need because you're helping them get what they need and it's such a beautiful way to live and that is true manifestation is understanding that what you put out in the world you come back the world is a mirror not a

window and as you live that life you will get your blessings back you got to understand you just got to manage that energy you got to manage what you focus on you got to manage that headp space you got to know what you do when you have a bad situation you got to know what questions you ask yourself right but it's it's real science it's like it's like um those magnets like a needle there's a a magnetized needle and you take another needle and you put on the magnetized needle it like connects and then you

take the needle apart and this one's magnetized again it's kind of like that if you actually allow yourself to sit in that energy of being think about this most people when I tell them you have to act as if you already have they don't get it they're like I don't know how to feel something I've never felt so for example if you want to be a Deca millionaire okay you want to make 10 million plus most people don't know how to feel what it would like to have $10 million in their bank account so imagine

and I wired you $10 million right now into your bank account wired it paid the taxes on it it's yours but you couldn't touch it for the next 10 days how would you walk through life the next 10 days knowing that you're going to have access to you it's yours there's no strings attached it's your $10 million to bless the family to bless yourself to help other people whatever you want to do with it how would you feel most people I ask this question to you they go top of the world one guy screamed out

one time this guy Adam o he he said I'd feel like I'd take over the city I'd be the mayor I said great you need to learn how to act like that even if you don't have the money yet see that is the the beingness is that you have to act under the assumption it's already yours some people are really great at this the best manifestors they're not delusional like they'll still get off and do the work one of my mentors calls it the law of Goya right get off your ass you do need to

do the work but the energy you do in the work is under the energy and assumption that you've already received you've already got it and that's the coolest part imagine if you went on a phone call with a potential hire but you know you got $10 million in your bank account imagine you got on with potential investor in your company you know you got $10 million in bank account imagine you go on a date with a girl first date and you know you had $10 million in bank account you don't think you'd have a little

bit more confidence Maybe that is what I'm talking about and that's just that's just facts think about it it's just facts you know how you would feel just assume that energy and you will attract Mr Happy Face not Mr Grumpy pants what are your thoughts on retirement I think retirement is the stupidest thing in the world it's the dumbest thing it's so stupid it's like if you truly do what you love to do then why would you retire from being you I have zero interest of not being me and now you might say well that's

nice for you Dan I don't enjoy what I do perfect how much time do you have left because you should fix that you literally can bet on you you can do what you want to do you can decide to wake up and create a world a future where what you do is your source of income who you are is how you make money what you love to do is also what you get paid to to do that is the most beautiful thing in the world so if anything why wait to retirement to finally live life

why don't you just blend it all together and just make it you this is life there is no place to get to there's no I'm I'm going to retire and then travel the world why don't you create a world today where you can travel the world and do what you do why don't you create a scenario where you work at it with a vision that when I get to these different levels of Milestones then I will be able to afford this freedom on my calendar I can buy back some of my time I can have

somebody support us in our home support me in my business so that I can be there for my kids soccer games why do you have to wait for a day that's called retirement why like why would you take yourself out of the market think about this the most valuable you'll be is in the future and in the moment where you're the most valuable to the market the most wisdom experience knowledge know how you decide to take yourself out of the marketplace that's crazy what if in the What If instead of retiring the next five years

you worked part-time but those that part-time income made more money for you than the previous 10 years combined because of just how much more potent and valuable you are the value in Crea in the world like I just find this idea of retirement just so weird and I know where it came from and it was created to get a bunch of old people out of the marketplace to make space for the young people because they needed jobs but it it doesn't make sense a farmer didn't ever retire from being a farmer he was a farmer

I'm not retiring from being me it's who I am I'm just looking at my calendar all the time saying okay do I want to do more of this or less of this I don't want to stop creating I'm a Creator if you're a Creator if you're somebody that loves to create you love ideating you like problem solving you like challenges you like being pushed you like growing you like to contribute to other people you want to have the biggest impact have the most resources to help people don't take retirement crumple that concept up and throw

it out the window light it on fire put it in you know drop it into some cement you know really get rid of it because what would you do differently if you knew you couldn't retire how different would your decisions be how much quicker would you frontload some of these things you've been putting off what career changes would you make that's that's a fun conversation what is this all for H isn't this awesome this life we live the end of the day we all end up in the same place we move on from this physical

experience so why does it matter why does it matter why does it matter that you get up today here's what I believe I believe that we are we are being used by our creator to experence each other so like I am here and I can't be here unless I experience you people in my life like that's just a fact nobody wants to be by themselves feeling lonely it doesn't feel good right doing something every day without purpose doesn't feel good so in many ways I believe that the whole point of life is to experience life

with other people and through that to continue to do the work to become a better version of you see I believe you were created to do something great with your life I believe you're here to solve problems to help other people and it doesn't have to be a billion dollar company or a big nonprofit it could be as simple as being a really great friend whatever it is for you but I believe it's on your heart I believe you actually know what it is and you have to trust that and if you wake up every

day to try to become the best version of yourself what you know in my faith we'll say the the image of my Creator God created Me In His Image and what he thought I was had potential to do what I like to call my 10.0 self think of all the moments in my life where I've shown up powerfully generously kindness had resources was super creative connected my Creator all the like best moments and I put those together and that version of Dan could show up every second of every minute of every day that's the 10.0

version of my life I'm going to strive for that I don't know if I'll ever achieve it but that's what I believe everybody's here to do and it feels really good as you do that the second part to that though is you got to share with other people what's worked for you see some people make a big deal they're like but I'm not qualified to teach anybody else yes you are everybody's born a teacher think about it have you never given somebody else advice yeah you have because it feels right somebody's doing something that isn't

right you want to tell them how to do it right everybody does this but I would encourage you to go further anything that you've gone through in your life that was hard for you that you overcame I believe that it's your it's your duty it's your responsibility it's actually your Dharma it's your mission it's your purpose to help other people with that just by teaching them what worked for you nobody can say that's not the best way to do it it don't matter if it's the best way to do it it worked for you if

you wake up every day to strive to become the best version of yourself and as you learn things on that Journey decide to share that with other people the transformation the process the thinking the books the resources the relationships whatever it is I think you'll wake up and you'll be living a life of fulfillment a life that you definitely will not want to retire from a life that feels effortless feels full of joy feels exciting hard it's not easy but as you continue to build you'll realize you have so much more to give and it

turns out it's really hard to feel sad when you're serving it's really hard to feel anxious when you're given it's almost impossible so if you do those two things I think it'll bring you a life that you never even thought was possible you believe in God I believe in God I just may not believe in the God you know even that word is polluted so my faith is my faith it's just like when somebody says like prove to me that you love your child I don't have to I love my child I love my boys

like deeply and if somebody's like yeah but but but look your definition of Love might be different than mine it doesn't change the fact that I have love for my child I have a belief in a god a creature Creator and it may look different even people that study the same Faith as me may have a completely different construct for what they think is God and I am totally okay with that I love learning about other people's Gods I love learning about other people's jesuses I love learning about other people's faith I love talking to

people that don't believe in God doesn't change anything for me I believe every person every human every soul is on a path and a journey to discover their God in life your creator may be nudging you okay when you think it's a rejection it's actually repositioning he's just like hey going to close that window put you on this path and it's funny how everybody through their own Journey could be breath work could be Buddhism could be plant medicine could be Christianity they all are on a journey to find God how can I find meaning in

life like I don't even know what meaning actually means because meaning in many ways is how can I justify that my life has purpose and I just believe every person is here to help other people around them experience life so if that isn't meaningful enough for you if you don't realize that we're all connected and there's this Oneness about us in many ways we're the fingertips of Consciousness and spirit that's the meaning is for you to interact and evolve and grow you know what's the meaning of a plant that starts off as a seed that

becomes you know an oak tree it just is like do we need to find meaning in growth in a seed becoming an oak tree or can you just accept that that's what its purpose is here on Earth I think your life is no different your purpose is to grow your purpose is to expand your purpose is to learn your purpose is the good and the bad that's hard for people they're like why the bad I don't know about you but I've never really grown unless I went through a challenge it took setbacks it took friction

it took toughness you know no pressure no diamonds it took some serious moments of introspection for me to realize I have to change I need to stop I need to have a different strategy and I would love for you not to have to go through that pain but I also know that that's usually where most people have change that's the meaning that's that's why you're here