we have a question from a spiritual seeker and they say since my childhood I have always felt different in many ways although I was a bright student I often felt bored and Restless I was constantly searching for something though I didn't know what it was around the age of 10 I began reading extensively starting with philosophical books and eventually moving on to religious texts like the ramayana Mahabharata and the works of Kabir and other Saints available to me at the time one significant thing that happened during my childhood was that knowingly and coinci accidentally I
experienced moments of meditation suddenly everything would become silent and I would be immersed in a profound sense of Joy however by the time I could grasp what was happening the state would vanish later I learned that this was called Dan or meditation over the years I met many sadhus but could never articulate what I was truly seeking at the age of 20 someone gave me a book by Osho titled danan Sutra as I read it I was captivated and couldn't pull it put it down while reading I felt into a deep state of silence and
meditation it was one of the most beautiful experiences I have I had ever had however after reading that book my life took a turn and I entered a phase of intense suffering that has only increased over time I continued to read and listen to many books explored various spiritual practices visited gurus and tried countless techniques including weas but my search remained incomplete meanwhile I completed my studies worked corporate job got married and now have a beautiful daughter for the past 4 years my life has been turned upside down I have been experiencing unbearable pain deteriorating
health and constant illness I lost my job my family and in the last 2 months even my ability to sleep after numerous Health checkups doctors concluded that my issues are more psychological Than Physical currently I'm unable to work for more than 2 hours at a time I have lost 20 kg in the last 3 years and now weigh only 40 kg I am 44 years old recently I came across your videos on YouTube and was almost shocked to hear you speak about pain and suffering especially the concept of The Dark Night of the Soul it
felt as though you were speaking directly about my life since then I have wanted to write to you but today while listening to your video titled direct experience of reality the illusion of seeking the illusion of seeking as a separate self which are a part one I couldn't stop myself from reaching out I have experienced many things and always strive to stay present in the here and now but the suffering persists I'm deeply grateful for your guidance and wisdom you share I would be immensely thankful if you could offer me any advice first advice would
be to take as good care of yourself as possible the only advice I give in such matters is just to relax relax to the best of your capacity and when I say relax I don't mean activity I'm not talking in terms of activity or trying to quiet the Mind by forcing in activity all I'm saying is just be and relax it can happen sometimes that we get so fascinated by an idea of spiritual seeking that we create a strong identification as a spiritual Seeker but the thing is till the seeking is going on there will
be no relief from suffering suffering ends when the seeking drops the end of seeking is end of suffering but when we are strongly identified with an outcome our mind can lead us astray even on the spiritual path so first first is not to undermine your emotional state whatever is going on within examine that let it arise in your awareness in your Consciousness let it play out see where that content is manifesting try to be with that space where all these experiences are manifesting where they are gaining momentum and that momentum what kind of sensation it
is creating in your body just observe all of this and let that observation happens without trying to change anything without trying to modify anything bringing yourself Here and Now is not a forced practice but simply a remembrance the point to remember here is that the Seeker that is so identified with seeking is not separate from the seeking seeking is definitely happening but there is no individual Seeker that is to be remembered and when this is realized that the one trying to seek a reality based on one's idea of reality is a false notion because there
is no absolute reality all that manifests is subject to change but there is something changeless there is an awareness that is changeless that knows everything that knows the changing and the unchanging that is beyond all possible forms all possible ideas and beliefs all sort of perceptions it is beyond everything just rest in that energy and be and when that happens the seeking drops the concepts drops all our suffering is happening because we are identified with Concepts where we read so many books listen to so many gurus and try to philosophize try to find meaning of
life but in that trying to find meaning of life purpose of life trying to get to the absolute reality the mind gets more and and more entangled into the web of Maya well mind is Maya or Illusion so you know in the illusion the illusory mind is trying to come out of the illusion using tools that are available within the illusion it's like a character in the dream trying to wake up the character cannot wake up unless the character is aware that it is dreaming because when in dream the character the dream character the dream
you is completely identified with the dream with the dream world but when you wake up you realize that oh that was all false so you you see you you mention here that I met many sadhus but could never articulate what I was truly seeking and this is the confusion with most of us we do not truly know what we are seeking this was the confusion with me when I went to a master and asked asked him that what is the what is the cause of my suffering and he asked me he said jagjot what do
you want what are you really seeking and I said I gave some abstract answer happiness peace he says what is your idea of peace that idea of peace is not going to be permanent if you're trying to establish permanency in something you're going to suffer because in this realm there is nothing permanent everything is changing Ing and to accept change brings peace to accept the situation the way it is in this very moment puts an end to the Dark Knight of the Soul which includes that I may never be able to find that absolute peace
or absolute happiness that I'm seeking then what happens One Drops the effort and then the actions become effortless and one sees God in everything so your family your husband your daughter your parents there is God in everything you cannot deny one part of God and and move to another part of God and say that I accept this God but I do not accept that God we have to accept God in everything and that means even in relationships that are difficult we have to accept the presence of godliness in them too it doesn't mean that we
have to stick to the relationship or tolerate abuse or tolerate psychological uh or tolerate any kind of behavior that disturbs our psyche but we have to understand that there is God there too because God is not something separate from the world God is what illumines the world and is also the world at the same time which is consciousness Consciousness that animates this reality and who are we to question how God should or should not paint this reality animate this reality we can only accept that this is the way things are now all these practices that
you mentioned are beautiful but they are most effective when they are done for their own sake but not to achieve an outcome if the mind is geared towards an outcome that is effort people misunderstand the meaning of effort they think that for example let's take a very basic example bringing yourself Here and Now does require effort because mind is habituated to thinking so you notice that when you're meditating the Mind goes into a certain direction and then at some point there is this realization that oh I'm thinking and that realization itself drops the thinking it
cuts the thinking and brings you here and now but the Mind habit situated to move in the direction of thinking does not like that so when you're still in the moment completely in the presence as the presence mind again makes an attempt to move what about my family I am undergoing this trouble I have this psychological problem I have that problem my family my work life it just flows here and there here and there it's just habituated like that and again and again again and again you bring it here and now that is effort but
that is not the effort that I talk about this effort is effortless effort it is just the natural effort of the working mind which just which just brings you here and now the effort that I talk about is when the Mind uses thinking to modify its movement for example let's say you were thinking something all right and all of a sudden the awareness cut off the thinking you were probably identified with an idea that I'm unworthy and you were thinking in that direction my life is not good things are bad I don't have the right
job I don't have the right relationships and all of a sudden there is this recognition that oh I'm thinking and you're brought back to the present moment but then the mind again comes up and says what are you doing you are unworthy don't believe in other people who says you are worthy you are unworthy and you must do something to correct that that is the effort that is problematic that is effort effortlessness is just bringing yourself here and now which means you just block all the noise effortlessness is not easy putting effort is easy because
it is natural for the mind to put effort effort is identification with an outcome I feel this way I should not feel this way you see these are two forces that are operating and pulling you apart in two different directions so it is painful to drop the resistance is effortlessness so effortlessness is not easy but it can be done right now here it does not require Concepts you just drop it that's it you drop the idea that there is suffering there is an individual who is suffering there is suffering we do recognize that there is
pain there is sensitivity we do recognize that but the individual that thinks he or she is suffering is a conceptual thought so knowing the illusory nature of the separate self itself brings you more and more into presence or Here and Now then all these ideas begin to vanish about attaining something which will give you Everlasting happiness and one accepts the never-ending cycle of pain and pleasure in life but the thing is the pain in the moment does not become suffering in horizontal time as shame blame guilt malice and happiness in the moment is enjoyed but
does not become pride and arrogance in the horizontal time one accepts every moment the way it is presented and nobody can know what the next moment will present so being okay with this uncertainty with this unpredictability of life brings peace and happiness I would say if you have a beautiful family you do have a beautiful family you say you have a beautiful daughter first of all try and reestablish your connection with her at a deeper level see God in her and serve in that way and serve others too without worrying about a personal spiritual upliftment
because that is an idea these are all Concepts we have and we get so caught up in these Concepts sometimes because we get fixated to this idea that I have attained this state of Dan or meditation but even danan is not the ultimate if if we if we talk conceptually because danan is still the subject object split then we talk about samadhi where the subject drops and when the subject drops the object also drops so there is complete void shuna but even that is not a permanent State you will still come back why because that
is how phenomenality operates that sense of separateness is not evil ego is not evil it's not the enemy it is there for a purpose because without ego even you cannot do any service or SAA if you let your mind entangle you into this web of thought which the Mind loves to do mind does not want your freedom mind wants entanglement it wants drama it wants thrill it wants excitement or it wants it can even want sadness because my mind clings to what is familiar it wants to it's it wants a repeat of experience that is
familiar to it it does not want something new because new can be very challenging for the mind when I say new what I mean is something that is not touched by a past experience now investigate what is that that is not touched by a past experience because this itself is a meditation anything we describe any state that is formed from the accumulation of past experiences is not new we get so enamored by books teachers we get so identified with this whole process that our mind starts an outward movement and the Very premise of that outward
movement is that I am unho that I am limited that I'm the way I am right now I'm insufficient that is the basic premise of this whole outward movement and then it just expands outwardly keeping this separation alive between me and the other and this separation is suffering but when one relaxes in their most natural state now of course it doesn't mean that the ups and downs in Life or UPS and or emotional ups and highs and lows will not be experienced it is not true everything will be experienced in life you cannot stop that
all the states will be experienced emotional highs lows sensitivity depression anxiety everything will be everything will be experienced but when one learns to be more and more in their relaxed presence what happens is that the amplitude of the highs and the lows becomes much smaller that is the difference concept conceptually that is the difference between a sage and an ordinary man the ordinary man comp completely is identified with the highs and lows of life either it wants to remain in the high you know by taking substances or you know indulging in sexual activity or trying
to chase thrill here and there excitement here and there relationships after relationships this that it wants to remain in the high but then if inevitably the low comes into the picture because when you move it's like a pendulum when you move on one extreme it already gathers momentum to go onto the Other Extreme this is the nature of life so when even people can get high on on a spiritual Quest trying to attain something something Blissful beyond beyond any known realm they can get you know they can make that state as a fantasy in their
mind that once I achieve this super Enlightenment or super or anything like that that will solve all problems in my life but that itself is is a high that one is experiencing the pendulum is moving in One Direction I'm very close I'm about to achieve Awakening or Enlightenment or whatever you want to call it Liberation Moka but then you're ready to swing on just on the other other direction which is I'm completely worthless my life is horrible my relationships are not working I'm unworthy I don't deserve goodness you know we just swing on the other
side but if you just witness this movement of life that is happening in the the case of an ordinary man this is suffering what happens in the case of a sage now even the sage life does swing like a pendulum but the but the swinging is not all that high the amplitude is not all that high and low so the sage just swings a little bit on one side and then immediately comes back on the other side so the equilibrium is maintained you know so Sage lives witnessing what is happening with complete acceptance acceptance of
what is things the way they are is peace and to accept the unpredictability of life and the changing nature of things brings peace and happiness other than that I have not found any Quest that can satisfy the Mind any any any idea any concept that can satisfy the mind because Mind by Nature is not designed to be satisfied so if you are chasing an idea thinking that eventually the mind will come to rest when you do Steps A B and C that can that itself can make the mind more active and we do not want
to make the mind more active because as it is most of us suffer from a lot of anxiety because the minds are con continuously running we are seeking information we are consuming information all the time and generally the sources of our information are not very credible because in today's age we get enamored very fast and we we we just believe anything we hear so I would say say verify this through your own personal experience do not believe what I'm saying verify this through your own personal experience and then come to a conclusion life has to
be lived fully and that means one has to do their best with whatever the given situation is and it is a blessing to have a family around especially a presence of a child can be very very healing so I would also say that there is no harm in taking a help of a professional in this endeavor because you see psychological physical and spiritual are all interconnected they are not different processes and sometimes one has to accept that one cannot solve everything by themselves so taking help is also an option to remember that search for the
wholeness can create suffering but knowing that wholeness is one's nature can instantly drop s the suffering wholeness is not to be found externally the only path that is possible is going inwards and looking at what is happening internally it does not mean Lely sitting idle and just looking at oneself all the time what it means is keeping the observation as one moves through life as one moves through challenges and relationships as one moves through financial hardships as one moves through you know health challenges or anything in life one keeps witnessing every process C everything and
then there is this realization that whatever is changing is not real no matter how intense the emotions may seem in a given moment they are not real because they do not sustain they come from that Baseline neutral awareness that is always there that awareness is like an ocean it's vast and emotions are like waves we get identified with what is happening on the surface but deep below the ocean everything is calm that is where you rest in the depths of the ocean and that ocean is within you it is not externally it is not in
the books it is not in the gurus it is not in the talks it is in the deep deep silence that is within you so just be and see it for yourself I hope I hope this helps and to reach out if there's any issue any other issue take care
