When You Stop Being the Nice Girl, This Happens! || By Mel Robbins #motivation

listen up because this might be the most important thing you hear today you are not here to make everyone else comfortable at the expense of your own happiness you are not a doormat you are not a backup plan you are not the one who bends breaks and sacrifices while everyone else thrives so why do you keep saying yes when you mean no why do you keep over apologizing OV explaining and over overgiving to people who don't even appreciate it because you've been taught that being nice makes you valuable that if you just smile accommodate and

put yourself last people will love you but let's be honest where has that gotten you you're exhausted you're resentful and deep down you know it's not working stop putting everyone else's needs above your own saying yes when you want to say no and bending over backward to make sure everyone around you is Happy while you're left exhausted frustrated and unseen you have spent years believing that being agreeable accommodating and easygoing will make people love you but let's be honest has it worked has putting yourself last earned you the respect love and fulfillment you deserve or

has it just made you the go-to person for favors the one who never complains the one who is expected to adjust compromise and carry the emotional weight of every relationship in your life you are not here to be a people pleasing machine you are not responsible for making sure everyone else is comfortable while you're suffering in silence you have a voice you have needs and you have every right to put yourself first without feeling guilty about it the biggest mistake you've been making is believing that saying no will make people dislike you that standing up

for yourself will make you difficult that refusing to accommodate someone else's demands will make you selfish but the truth is the more you give Without Limits the more people will take without appreciation think about it how many times have you agreed to something just because you didn't want to disappoint someone how many times have you forced a smile when you were exhausted held back your real feelings because you didn't want to come AC crosses rude or went along with plans you didn't want to be a part of just to keep the peace and where did

that get you did anyone stop to ask what you wanted did anyone go out of their way to make sure you were happy probably not because when you train people to believe that you'll always say yes that you'll always be the one who adjusts they stop considering your needs altogether it's time to break this cycle being a nice girl girl has not brought you peace it has made you invisible you're always there for others but who's there for you you drop everything when someone needs you but when was the last time someone showed up for

you in the same way if the answer is rarely or never then it's time to wake up the world does not reward those who sacrifice themselves for the comfort of others the world respects those who respect themselves when you stop being the nice girl you stop living for other people's approval you stop letting fear of disappointing others dictate your choices you stop allowing guilt to push you into commitments you don't want you realize that your needs matter just as much as everyone else's and that your voice is just as important as the voices of those

who have been drowning you out the people who truly love and respect you will never abandon you just because you start setting boundar and the ones who do they were only benefiting from your silence and compliance so no you are not mean for saying no you are not selfish for prioritizing yourself you are not rude for refusing to be available 24/7 you are simply taking back your power you are choosing yourself for once and that is not something to apologize for stop being the nice girl who lets people walk all over her because she's too

afraid to set boundaries stop saying it's okay when it's not stop making excuses for people who repeatedly disrespect you stop convincing yourself that being agreeable is the only way to keep the peace it's not peace if you're the only one sacrificing for it if you've spent your life putting other people's needs before your own constantly adjusting to keep them happy then let me tell you something you are not being kind you are being taken for granted and the more you allow it the worse it gets every time you ignore your gut feeling and let someone

push past your limits you're teaching them that your boundaries don't matter every time you bite your tongue instead of speaking up you're training them to keep expecting your silence every time you let someone's bad behavior slide because you don't want to be seen as difficult you're giving them permission to keep treating you the same way boundaries are not selfish they are necessary they are the difference between being respected and being used they are what separate the women who live on their own terms from the ones who live constantly trying to please others you need to

understand this people will only treat you as well as you demand to be treated if you keep accepting the bare minimum that's all you'll ever get if you keep saying yes to things that drain you people will keep ask asking if you keep overextending yourself for people who don't reciprocate they will continue taking advantage of you the way you allow others to treat you is a direct reflection of how much you value yourself and if you don't value yourself enough to say no this is not okay no one else will either let's talk about what

happens when you don't set boundaries you become the person everyone depends on but no one considers you become the friend the partner the coworker who is always available always accommodating always putting herself last and at first you might think that's a good thing you might believe that it makes you a good person that it makes people appreciate you more but in reality all it does is make them expect more from you without ever giving anything in return you start to feel exhausted resentful and unseen and the worst part you have no one to blame but

yourself because you never enforc the boundaries you so desperately needed now here's the hard truth when you first start setting boundaries people won't like it they are used to you being the nice girl who always says yes who never pushes back who makes everything easy for them so when you start saying no I can't do that or that doesn't work for me or I'm not comfortable with this they might get upset they might call you selfish dramatic or difficult and that's fine let them their reaction is not your responsibility their discomfort is not your problem

the only people who get upset when you set boundaries are the ones who benefited from you having none when you stop being the nice girl and start enforcing your boundaries you finally take control of your life you start surrounding yourself with people who respect your time your energy and your worth you stop feeling drained and start feeling empowered Ed you no longer let guilt dictate your decisions you finally realize that saying no to others is really saying yes to yourself and that is the most powerful thing you can do stop being the nice girl who

shrinks herself to make others comfortable stop waiting for permission to take up space to speak up to be seen to go after what you want you are not put on this Earth to be small to be quiet or to blend into the background while everyone else takes Center Stage you do not need approval to exist fully to express yourself or to chase your ambition if you've been waiting for someone to tell you that it's okay to be bold confident and unapologetically yourself consider this your wakeup call too many women spend their lives making themselves smaller

because they've been conditioned to believe that taking up space is selfish that being confident confident is arrogant that having a strong opinion is intimidating they lower their voices dim their light and play it safe hoping that by doing so they'll be liked accepted and respected but here's the truth people don't respect those who constantly minimize themselves people respect those who own who they are without hesitation think about the times you held yourself back the times you didn't speak up in a meeting because you didn't want to come across as aggressive the times you didn't share

your ideas because you were afraid they weren't good enough the times you apologized for things that didn't even require an apology the times you let someone interrupt you talk over you dismiss your feelings and you just smiled and let it slide and why because you didn't want to make waves because you didn't want to be seen as difficult because you thought that if you stay in your lane and didn't demand too much people would appreciate you more but what has that mindset given you has it brought you the success the love the confidence or the

Fulfillment you crave or has it left you feeling overlooked unheard and undervalued the world doesn't reward people who play small it rewards those who know their worth who show up fully and who refuse to make themselves invis visible for the sake of others Comfort it's time to stop waiting for permission to exist no one is going to hand you confidence no one is going to invite you to take up space you have to claim it you have to walk into a room and own it you have to stop second-guessing your abilities and start trusting that

you are capable intelligent and worthy of everything you desire confidence is not something you are given it is something you decide to have you have to decide right now that you are done making yourself small the moment you stop seeking approval and start embracing Who You Are Everything Changes you start speaking with conviction you start chasing your goals with the kind of determination that makes people pay attention you stop apologizing for existing for having opinions for taking up space and you start realizing that the people who truly value you will never ask you to be

less than who you are the world doesn't need more women who shrink themselves it needs women who Stand Tall speak up and own their power without hesitation so take up space use your voice step into the version of yourself that you were always meant to be stop being the nice girl who carries unnecessary guilt for choosing herself stop feeling bad for saying no for putting yourself first for prioritizing your happiness your peace and your well-being you are not responsible for managing everyone else's emotions you are not obligated to meet every expectation fulfill every request or

sacrifice yourself just to keep others happy the guilt you feel when you set boundaries when you speak your truth when you stand up for yourself that guilt is not real it is a learned response a product of years of conditioning that told you that being a good girl means always accommodating always agreeing always giving more than you receive think about how many times you've ignored your own needs just to avoid feeling guilty you stayed in situations that made you unhappy because you didn't want to disappoint anyone you put in extra hours at work because you

didn't want to seem unhelpful you kept friendships alive even when they drained you because you didn't want to hurt anyone's feelings you went to events you didn't want to go to agreed to tasks you didn't want to do said yes when every fiber of your being was screaming no and for what so that other people wouldn't be upset with you so that you wouldn't feel like you were letting someone down that guilt you carry is nothing more than fear and disguise fear that if you choose yourself people will think you're selfish fear that if you

you stop bending over backward for others they will walk away but here's the truth if someone only values you when you're sacrificing yourself for them they don't truly care about you they care about what you do for them and if saying no to them makes them angry that says more about them than it does about you healthy relationships whether they're friendships family or work do not require you to abandon yourself to keep them intact the guilt you feel is a habit and like any habit it can be broken the next time you start to feel

guilty for prioritizing yourself ask yourself this would the person I'm saying no to feel guilty if the roles were reversed if you had to cancel plans because you needed rest would they do the same without hesitation if you stopped doing favors for them would they stop feeling entitled to your time and energy more often than not the answer is no and that realization should tell you everything you need to know you have been conditioned to believe that taking care of yourself is selfish but in reality it is necessary when you stop overextending yourself for others

you gain the energy and space to focus on your own goals your own happiness and your own success you start showing up as the best version of yourself not the tired over overworked stretched thin version that everyone else has come to expect and here's the most powerful thing that happens when you stop feeling guilty for choosing yourself you start surrounding yourself with people who respect you for it you attract relationships where mutual respect exists where your needs are valued where you are seen as an equal rather than just a convenient source of support guilt has

no place in a life that is lived on your own terms you are not here to be everything for everyone at the expense of yourself the only person you owe anything to is yourself you are allowed to take up space you are allowed to put yourself first you are allowed to live without guilt weighing you down and once you let go of that guilt you become Unstoppable stop believing that if you're just agreeable enough quiet enough or selfless enough people will appreciate you being nice is not the same as being valued being easygoing is not

the same as being respected you have spent too much of your life believing that if you never make waves never cause conflict never stand your ground people will see your worth but what has that gotten you are you being heard are your needs being met or are you the one people turn to only when they need something the one who is easy to overlook the the one who is expected to adjust to accept to compromise every single time respect is not given to those who make themselves small to please others respect is given to those

who know their worth and refuse to settle for anything less the reason you keep feeling exhausted unappreciated and taken for granted is because you have spent too much time prioritizing being nice over being respected you are so afraid of being disliked that you tolerate treatment that you should have shut down a long time ago you let people talk over you you let them take credit for your ideas you let them assume you'll always be available always willing always ready to drop everything for them and every time you do this you reinforce the belief that your

needs are secondary the think about the women you admire the ones who walk into a room and command attention are they the ones who apologize for existing are they the ones who hesitate before speaking are they the ones who put everyone else's needs above Their Own no they are the ones who demand respect because they give themselves respect first they are the ones who do not tolerate disrespect who do not waste time trying to be liked by people who do not matter they are the ones who stand firm who enforce their boundaries who own their

power unapologetically you need to start valuing yourself in the same way stop apolog izing when you haven't done anything wrong stop explaining yourself to people who aren't owed an explanation stop saying yes just because you're afraid of upsetting someone if someone only likes you when you are bending over backward for them that is not respect that is convenience if someone gets mad at you for asserting yourself they never respected you in the first place people who truly respect you will not punish you for standing up for yourself they will not be offended when you say

no they will not manipulate you into thinking that prioritizing yourself is selfish you don't have to be rude to be respected you just have to be firm you have to know when to walk away you have to be willing to risk being disliked by the wrong people in order to be valued by the right ones when you stop basing your worth on how nice you are and start demanding respect your entire life changes you attract better friendships better opportunities and better relationships you no longer waste energy on people who only want you around because you're

easy to take advantage of respect starts with you if you don't respect yourself no one else will if you don't value your own time others won't either if you don't enforce your boundaries people will continue to push them being nice is not a weakness but when it comes at the cost of your selfworth it stops being kindness and starts being self- sabotage the world does not reward the woman who is the easiest to get along with it rewards the one who knows her worth and refuses to accept anything less than what she deserves stop being

the nice girl who holds herself back out of fear of what others might think stop toning yourself down waiting for the right moment or seeking approval before stepping into your power you were not meant to sit on the sidelines to be overlooked or to live a life that feels small You Were Meant to take up space to be bold to go after what you want without hesitation the world does not reward women who wait it rewards those who are Unapologetic about their worth their dreams and their potential you have spent too much time worrying about

whether people will judge you if you speak up if you go after your goals if you start setting boundaries and refusing to settle you have held yourself back from opportunities because you were afraid of failure afraid of rejection afraid that if you tried and didn't succeed people would laugh but guess what playing it safe hasn't protected you from judgment staying quiet hasn't made life easier it has only made you feel stuck frustrated and invisible confidence is not something you are given it is something you build it is something you decide to have if you wait

for the perfect moment to feel ready you will wait forever the women who succeed the ones who create the life they want are not the ones who are fearless they are the ones who act despite their fears they are the ones who understand that being bold is not about the absence of doubt it is about refusing to let doubt control them being bold means speaking even when your voice shakes it means putting yourself out there even when rejection is a possibility it means knowing that not everyone will support you and still choosing to move forward

anyway the people who try to keep you small who tell you to stay in your place who make you feel like you're asking for too much those are the people who are afraid of your potential they are comfortable with you being the nice girl the accommodating one the one who never challenges the status quo because the moment you stop being that version of yourself the moment you step into your power they can no longer control you if you want to change your life you have to stop waiting for permission you have to stop second guessing

yourself you have to stop apologizing for having Big Dreams and wanting more the people who truly support you will never ask you to shrink yourself the ones who do are only afraid of what will happen when you finally realize your own strength you are allowed to take up space you are allowed to chase your dreams you are allowed to be confident to be strong to be a force to be re with and the moment you stop asking for permission the moment you stop apologizing for being bold that is the moment your life truly Begins the

world doesn't need more nice girls it needs bold women strong women women who know their worth and refuse to settle so stand up for yourself speak up take up space cuz the second you stop being nice just to please everyone else you start being Unstoppable now go make yourself proud