DO THIS To Be Confident IN ANY SITUATION | Marisa Peer

a lot of people want to know how to have the body language for confidence and actually in our modern world we spend all our time on the computer and slump we've kind of forgotten how to hold ourselves so i'm going to show you how to have the body language of someone who appears to be incredibly confident [Music] first thing is they speak slowly and they don't wave their hands around i saw myself on television many years ago and i noticed i was doing this throughout the whole interview and i thought hmm that's not a good

look and i learned when i was on tv to sit on my hands and to speak quite slowly to look at the camera and you know i wasn't confident i would say oh my god you're so confident and i really wasn't i looked at people who were and i thought oh they speak slowly they don't flap around they may do that or there but they're very composed they keep their shoulders up they keep their stomach in they don't sit like that so you can do that whenever you're talking to someone try to keep your chin

up keep your shoulders down and back speak slowly don't speak fast and loud if you've ever seen those movies like mafia moves you notice the head guy they almost whisper everyone has to kind of listen to them they don't shout they don't get all excited because powerful people speak slowly they are very commanding they command the stage they have presence and you can have it too by speaking slowly taking on the posture shoulders up and back chin just so make eye contact when you speed people look at them you have two ears and one mouth

for a reason speak and then listen listen to other people make them feel interesting imagine if everyone you met had a little sentence tattooed on their forward that said please make me feel important so when you meet people it isn't about you saying yeah here i am and this is what i do and i'm this and blah blah blah what do you do tell me about you act as if you're interested you know that's what the royal family do they smile they listen they do it hundreds of times they're probably not interested in you and

the tomatoes you grow but they make a point of acting like they are and that's a great gift and you know i do book signings we'll say oh my god you're so nice you're so available i make a point of making everyone feel interesting smiling at everyone signing their names saying who are you telling me they're buying my book i owe them that at least i don't get another one scribble scribble scroll there you are i engage with people i make them feel important i don't ask them to make me feel important so body language

posture don't do all this ringing your hands fiddling with a little hang now playing with your jewelry fluffing your hair doing that because you're saying i'm nervous strength is shown in stillness the more still you are the more strong and powerful you appear speak slowly try to be still in your movements try not to wave around and help yourself by believing in yourself there are so many things you can do that give you the posture of someone who believes in themselves walk with confidence talk with confidence meet people's eye level people make this classic mistake

someone says tell me about you and go well what i do is and and they try to race through in case that person is bored don't do that say what i do is and the reason i do it why i love it so much and take your time don't go into a whole story but don't rush who you are and what makes your heart sing if people are bored you'll find out and then you can just say anyway enough about me what about you but don't gabble through it when you're speaking to someone you'll know

if they're bored because their shoulders will start to turn towards their door their shoulders their knees their hips and when you're bored you'll notice that you do that you really want to do that if you're suing someone who might be going to employ you no matter how bored you are keep your shoulders your knees and your hips face towards them keep that towards them and then it says i'm interested in you i find you interesting if you want to flirt do the same thing keep focus and someone takes an imaginary fluff off their shirt touch

them and even if it's not a romantic thing studies shows that waitresses who touch their customers on the arm or waiters and go thank you so much get bigger tips there was a test where people had to stop in the street and say to someone hey i'm lost could you tell me where to go and as the person did they touch and went to thank you and then it just went up and then interviews went up to them you know the ones who got touched remembered everything about the person who touched them they weren't attracted

to them but the person that touched them on the arm they could remember what they looked like and what they said so touch is very important it's okay to touch someone not consistently and obviously respect their boundaries you touch their shoulder or their arm and if you think they won't like it you don't do it here's one final thing when we're nervous our mouth gets dry we've all seen people licking their lips because they are nervous you may notice that court lawyers drink water all their own people giving evidence drink water when you are nervous

your mouth gets dry and you lick your lips when you're nervous you tend to have your shoulders up around your ears if you're nervous push your shoulders down all the way down and then fill up your mouth with saliva pump it round your mouth i know it sounds disgusting but who knows you're doing it you didn't know i just did that if you can make your mouth aware you send a message to your mind that says i'm really relaxed guess what you do there every time you kiss when you kiss your mouth gets wet and

your brain goes wet mouth equals being relaxed doesn't matter which way it comes so fill up your mouth with saliva swirl it around and your brain will think wet mouth means you're relaxed if you're nervous do that drink water swirl it around i promise you it sends a message to your mind that says you are relaxed keep your shoulders down it says you are relaxed keep your chin up shoulders back posture good and it says you are confident so you can trick your mind into believing you're confident and you're relaxed by the way you hold

yourself by the way you walk by the way you talk by the volume of your voice by the speed of your voice by your hand movements by eye contact and people who are successful do this naturally and you may have to do it unnaturally who cares if you do it you know what happens it starts being who you are and what you do and then it is who you are so it starts by being what you do and then it becomes who you are you'll find that if you keep pushing your shoulders down filling up

your mouth with saliva holding yourself straight making eye contact that eventually you do it on autopilot that's a wonderful thing it's a great thing it's yours for the taking go to marisapeer.com and find out more about how to do this until it stops being what you do and becomes who you are thanks for tuning in grow in confidence grow in self-esteem do it today and soon you'll find you do it every day thanks see you soon [Music] you