How to Motivate Yourself: Leverage Dopamine & Overcome Your Excuses

how do you self motivate how do you pick yourself back up how do you motivate yourself again when you feel like life just punched you in the face if motivation were easy everybody would have a million bucks in the bank everybody would have six-pack abs everybody would be having the side hustle their dreams and taking vacations because they would be motivated all the time but that's not how life works is it there are things you can do to help someone tap back into the drive inside themselves and Moment Like This and these two steps are

also what you need to do in moments where you're the one who needs the motivation step number one hey it's your friend Mel and welcome to the Mel Robins podcast thank you so much for being here today I'm so excited to talk to you and the fact is I've been dying to talk to you about a particular topic what is that topic self motivation and the thing about self self motivation is that it's something we all want but it's something that we don't really understand I mean I'm sure that you may be thinking about things

that you want to improve or change in your life it's the time of year where everybody's doing it it's the time of year where businesses are planning big changes people are thinking about what they want in the next year and so no matter when you're listening to this I know that the story I'm about to tell you and the things I'm about to teach you about self motivation are really going to help you because the fact is there are two truths about self-motivation that are essential for you to understand if you want to be able

to hack motivation when you need it because here's the thing you know when you're busy making plans or setting goals or deciding kind of what you want to go do you feel really motivated don't you but have you ever noticed that life has this funny way of taking the wind right out of the sails as soon as you really really need the motivation it's like boom no wind you're not going anywhere and I have a personal story to tell you because this is exactly what's happening in my life right now I got home a couple

days ago we were down in Boston taping a bunch of episodes down in our brand new Studios is super cool right now I am up above our garage and our little studio in southern Vermont and when I got home a couple days ago our son Oakley was about to hear back from his top choice for college he like so many kids applied early decision which means if the college accepts him he is going to agree to go it's like a binding contract and this particular school that he had applied to was going to let all

the kids who had applied early decision know by announcing the decision in an online portal at 8:00 in the morning on a Saturday so it's Friday night I get home from a week in Boston Chris is home we have a dinner with Oakley he's so nervous we're nervous we're excited and Chris and I set our alarm Oakley sets his alarm you know we say good night excited for the morning and for the first time since I can remember honestly Oakley was awake and downstairs before Chris and I were because he couldn't sleep he was so

nervous and he was so excited to hear back from his dream school and if I'm being honest with you neither could I I could barely sleep either I was tossing I was turning and you've probably had this experience right like maybe you're waiting to hear back on a big job that you've been interviewing for or you're waiting to hear back to see if you've got it into graduate school or maybe it's a moment where one of the kids that you love is about to find out did they make the orchestra did they make the soccer

team and I got to tell you I was so excited for him because I watched him pour himself into the application for this College over the last couple of months I mean he's been writing and rewriting essays he's been Gathering up the recommendations he's been working hard to keep his GPA up and you could tell he not only really wanted this you could tell he was willing to pour himself into it right because unlike his sister Kendall he wasn't going to be auditioning for anything and unlike a lot of his friends who excel in sports

he wasn't getting recruited by a school and this particular school doesn't do interviews so his one shot was how he could present himself as an applicant on paper and as somebody who is dyslexic that's basically your worst nightmare but he went for it and that morning standing there in my PJs I wasn't really nervous I mean I was so excited I was excited because it wasn't just about the college application but I've seen how Hardy's worked for four years straight and I know that all these schools are now crazy competitive but I said said to

myself look you don't need to worry about this smell he's put in the work he's in the zone of what the school is looking for and you know when you see him on paper he did a good job he's got a sick GPA he's the captain of two Varsity Sports senior Mentor won these Awards blahy blah blah blah if you've heard him on the podcast he's a great kid and has awesome emotional intelligence so here we are his stomach is in knots I'm really excited we're gathered around the kitchen island Chris places his hand on

Oakley's back as he cracks open the laptop logs into the portal and then it's silent for about 10 seconds and Oakley pushes back from the island and goes it's a no I didn't make it we sat there in silence I I I don't know how much time went by I honestly thought it was going to go a different way I thought he was going to thread the needle on this one and then Oakley said they didn't even defer me I mean I was like Flatout rejected the only thing that I could say was that sucks

buddy and I'm really proud uh of the fact that you went for it I'm really proud of how much work you put into it and he kind of hung his head down low and I said well tell me what you need me to do to support you today do you want me to make you your favorite bologan a sauce for dinner do you need us to just leave you alone and he said sure bise sounds great and then he said I just I just need some time and he kind of shrugged off the hugs we

tried to give him and he went right back up to his room and shut the door and you know I was standing there and I kind of looked at Chris and it was one of those moments in life where you're not quite sure what to do with yourself right now you know and and in the context of college I'm sure you've seen those videos that have gone viral online where the kids are gathered around the laptop and their families are all around them and all of a sudden they get the news and they scream and

jump and shout and the family starts crying and I kind of thought that was going to be us I don't think I've ever seen a video online of the moment where somebody gets rejected from their dream school and yet life is full of rejections it's full of setbacks it's full of heartbreaks and you can know that intellectually but boy is it hard when it hits and it's hard when it hits you and it's also hard when it hits somebody that you love thankfully I am smart enough at this point in my life that I knew

that that was not a moment to kind of crank up the motivational pep talk right because that's the last thing that you want to hear when you're dream School says nope you're not good enough for us or that job that you've been interviewing for says sorry you don't have what it takes and there's a lot of layoffs happening right now in fact someone that is in my family just got laid off after working somewhere for 10 years just completely out of nowhere their boss didn't even know it was coming I'm sitting here talking about college

application with Oak and the fact is you can pour years of your life into something and all of a sudden you hear N I think we're going to go in a different direction and when that happens let's just not even mince words it freaking sucks and you do need to wallow in it you do need to take some time you do need to feel sad or frustrated you do need to let all of that come up because you know what those are very appropriate emotions in fact in fact they prove that you're mentally healthy because

when you work hard for something and you don't get the result that you are working for it does Sting so don't rush past that feeling but now let's talk about what comes next because one of the hardest yet most important skills in life is what you do after you've been rejected mm that's what we're talking about today how do you self-motivate how do you pick yourself back up how do you motivate yourself again when you feel like life just punched you in the face and that's exactly what's going on in our house right now Oakley

now has as I'm talking to you exactly 11 days to complete all the remaining applications and essays that he needs to work on in order to apply to other colleges and it's because he was so motivated and excited about this one school that he figured oh you know all the work that I'm doing for this it'll help me get the other stuff done and I'll wait until I hear and hopefully I'll get in and if not then I'll complete the other ones later right it's easy to do that when everything's in front of you but

now here we are 11 days to complete all this and not only do you have to complete all this but you have to do it in the wake of feeling like you're not good enough for the place you wanted to be so let me ask a question on a scale of 0er to 100 how motivated do you think he feels right now if you guess zero you would be correct he is the opposite of motivated he is demoralized he feels like he's not a smart kid and you know if I can't get it why even

bother and he's not the only one because when you have a moment where you feel like nothing's working out that is the kind of emotion of it right and for example if you happen to be single right now and everyone around you oh my god everybody's getting engaged everybody's getting married and here you are you're having to put yourself back out there again after a breakup yet again when is this ever going to be your turn or if you've ever had an issue getting pregnant doesn't it seem like everybody around you is getting pregnant with

these this is exactly the feeling if you're in the financial industry and you've got to passed a huge exam for work no matter how hard you study if you don't pass it the first time now you're going to be Panic stricken and you're going to feel demoralized which what makes it so hard to get motivated I'll give you another example you started selling real estate which seemed like a great idea right you were super motivated in the beginning but now it's been a year and no matter how many networking meetings you have gone to you

can't get your own listing and every time you look around a new house is on the market and they're listed by somebody else and why is it that you can't get this and then you stop to you don't feel that motivated why is it so easy for everybody else and doesn't it feel like you're the only one who feels that way but you're not and you can do something about it and if you're in the position that I'm in right now which is I'm the mom watching this go down with somebody that I love and

intellectually I'm sitting here saying all the stuff I say to you all the time on this podcast this is happening for a reason intellectually of course I know he's going to end up in the right place exactly where he needs to be of course I know that college does not define who you are of course I know all this but you can feel two things at once you can know that everything's going to be okay and you can also feel in your heart something breaking right and that doesn't change the fact that I can't want

this for him he has to want it for himself and the truth is I can't motivate him and we're going to get into why I can't motivate him do you know what I would give right now to have motivation on tap wouldn't it be so cool that instead of going to a bar for a pint of beer if you could walk into a bar for motivation and just grab that handle and pour a pintful of liquid motivation and boom all of this emotion is gone all of a sudden you're super excited that would be so

amazing and I want to stay on this example for just a minute of what I'm going through because I think everybody can relate to the dynamic here whether you're the one that's been rejected or you're the one that's concerned about somebody who is because what our son does or doesn't do in the next 11 days potentially determines what the next four years of his life could look like and that family member of mine who got laid off after working somewhere for 10 years what they do or don't do over the next few months can really

matter in terms of what happens next and that takes us back to our topic how do you motivate yourself when you don't feel motivated at all and here's how we're going to tackle this we're going to break it down because I want to give you specific tactics based in science for moment like this and I also want to make a a very important request if this isn't you right now I guarantee you someone you love is feeling this way please share this episode with them give them this information let them hear that they're not alone

and let them feel empowered by the fact that there are simple things that you can do period to tap into that self motivation this is the closest thing I can give you to motivation on tap this episode right here because here's what you and I are going to cover first of all I'm going to break down the true definition of motivation using the research so that you and I are using the word in the exact same way next you can't talk about motivation without talking about the word dopamine because so many people and researchers and

writers and podcasters talk about dopamine in relation to motivation there is so much interest in that so we will talk about that as well then you and I are going to cover two essential strategies that you need in a moment like this right now these are two strategies based on Research that a will help you locate that self motivation and B will really inspire you to not only get back up but to bring your aame when you do so don't you go anywhere I'm going to be waiting for you after a very short break where

you can hear a word from our sponsors stay with us hey it's your friend Mel and do not skip this because because I have something to give you for free no kidding say goodbye to 2023 let's say hello to 2024 make it the best year ever I have a free 29 page workbook I made this for you to thank you for being here on YouTube watching all of our videos supporting our work I'm going to help you answer what you want in 2024 and then more importantly you're going to create a plan to go get

it then I'll be here on YouTube motivating you every step of the way you and me baby let's create the best year ever just click the link boom I'll take you to the page you'll have this puppy in your hands and less than a minute and be right back here with YouTube for me to motivate you I love you let's do this welcome back it's your friend Mel I told you I would be waiting for you we're going to start with a definition of motivation because I want to make sure that you and I are

on the same page when we're using the word now from a scientific standpoint motivation is the general desire or willingness to act in a certain way another way that you may hear people Define motivation in the context of kind of science and research is motivation is often used to describe this force that explains why you would initiate something or why you would continue with something or why you would quit something that's an interesting thing that you have a motivation to quit something of course you do that's the force that makes you take the action to

quit it's motivating you and since you listen to the Mel Robins podcast you know I like to simplify things so I have just this very plain spoken definition that I use that takes into account all the science and research and here's my definition of motivation and this is what I want you and I to use as we're having this conversation motivation just means you feel like doing something that's it motivation means you feel like doing something and that means a lack of motivation means you don't feel like doing something simple right and that's what's interesting

about motivation when you feel like doing something it's easy to do right because you're motivated you feel like doing it and if you Googled motivation or you've listened to podcasts on the topics or you've read about the science of it I know that you have bumped into the word dopamine so let me talk about dopamine in the context of self-motivation okay dopamine is a type of neurotransmitter and hormone and dopamine is involved in so many different aspects of your body functioning but when you talk about dopamine in the context of motivation what researchers neuroscientists psychologists

everybody is talking about is the fact that dopamine plays a role in What's called the reward system in your mind that's why dopamine is often referred to as the the molecule of motivation and when you are listening to anybody or reading about topics like Behavior chain habits in our case the science of motivation it's really important to understand the role that dopamine plays because I think there's a tremendous amount of misunderstanding about what dopamine is and the role that it plays and a lot of people feel like oh dopamine dopamine what is what makes me

motivated if you could just put dopamine in a pill I'd feel more more motivated somehow that dopamine is sort of like that motivation on tap that's not technically the case because dopamine is tied to cravings and to things that you want dopamine is present to try to drive you toward things that you crave or toward things that you really want to do and I'm going to give you a couple examples because once you wrap your brain around this oh my gosh you're going to be like oh my my gosh I totally get this so let's

just take a scenario you've been at work all day you had an early lunch you've been in meetings all day as you're driving home you're hungry right now when you get home because you're hungry you're going to be very motivated to open the fridge to look inside and to figure out what to eat or cook yourself for dinner right why because you're craving food you're hungry but have you ever noticed that you can be really motivated when you get home to make something to eat and to eat real quick but the second you're done eating

it is so hard to motivate yourself to clean up the kitchen and to do the dishes why dopamine see you came home hungry you were craving food which is why you were motivated to cook you felt like doing it dopamine is present because it's tied to craving and to the thing that you wanted and in fact this is kind of cool research let's say that you really love steak and if you're coming home and you're craving steak do you know how motivated you are to turn on the grill so you can grill that filet in

fact your mouth is just watering thinking about it talk about the molecule of motivation my mouth is watering just talking to you about it that's how much I like steak and the research shows that foods that you like Spike dopamine levels by 50% why well because you both crave it and you want it that's why you're motivated to cook it and this is true with all things that you crave or things that you really really like and these are not necessarily good things that I'm going to list but do you want to know the top

things that Spike dopamine levels it's not pretty meth cocaine nicotine sex social media video games sugar see people get motivated to find these things because they crave them you want to know what's not on that list college applications updating your resume putting up a dating profile stepping on a scale scale doing dishes I mean who on Earth craves sticking your hands in a soapy sink with a bunch of greasy pants not me that's why you never feel motivated to do it and look there are so many people out there that are experts at biohacking dopamine

that's not what we're talking about today you and I are talking about the reality in a normal person's life which is do not expect this molecule of motivation to rescue you and a situation where you feel down you feel discouraged you don't feel like doing what you need to do it's not coming and yet you still need to pick yourself up and force yourself to do the work and just like motivation dopamine is wonderful when you have it but this conversation is about the other situations the 99% of your life when you don't feel like

doing what you need to do I don't feel like applying to college after I got rejected I don't feel like going to the gym I don't feel like working on my business bus plan I don't feel like eating healthy when I'd rather have a pizza I don't feel like putting myself out there because I'm shy and introverted and I got screwed over by the last person I did I don't feel like cleaning out the garage I don't feel like having a mocktail when I'd rather have a beer ton night I don't feel like having that

conversation with my mother I've been avoiding it for three months so why not avoid it another one and notice when you don't feel like doing those things you don't do them do you that's why you'll often hear me say motivation is garbage it's garbage because it's not there when you really need it if motivation were on demand if it were on tap if we could just O pop a pill I would pour that sucker into a cup man I would drink it every day and you know you want to know what else if motivation were

easy everybody would have a million bucks in the bank everybody would have six-pack abs everybody would be having the side hustle their dreams and taking vacations because they would be motivated all the time to do all the things to get you those things but that's not how life works is it because knowing what you need to do it's not enough it's just not enough and here's the issue and I know it because the clock is ticking waiting for motivation to strike is basically saying it's never going to happen and if you're in a situation like

we are in in this household you got 11 days you got 11 days you cannot afford to let your feelings derail the actions that you need to take right now and one more point about this I personally am highly motivated to see our son push through the feelings of rejection and put in the work so that he is proud of himself so that he knows knows that he put his best foot forward that he didn't let this one school stop him but I can't do the work for him I can't just spray him with motivation

in fact the more pressure I put on him the more demoralized he's going to feel he knows what the game's about he knows what the stakes are he knows what he's up against but here's what I'm offering even though you can't do the work for somebody else and even though you technically can't motivate someone else you can't feel it more than they want to feel like doing it there are things you can do to help someone tap back into the drive inside themselves in a moment like this and these two steps are also what you

need to do in moments where you're the one who needs the motivation step number one you must remind yourself of why this matters to you I say that again step number one you must remind yourself of why this matters to you this is one of the most important hacks for self motivation and that is understanding exactly what you want and exactly why you want it because number one if you don't really really want it you're not going to feel motivated to do the work to get it and if you don't know why you want it

you're not going to feel motivated to do the work to get it and I'm going to keep coming back to this example because it's so relatable our son and these college applications so after he got the news we just let them go for a day or two right you got to be able to decompress you got to be able to take a deep breath and then we sat down with them and we had a conversation about all the options on the table starting with do you even want to go to college next year do you

want to take a gap here do you want to do something else do you want to get a job all the way to the other end which is just because that school rejected you doesn't mean you can't get into another top tier school if that's what you actually want and that's important you can't want it because I want it and I don't even want that for him I want him to go to the place he wants to be and I reminded him of this there are so many amazing schools out there that you could not

only get into but you probably love and be really happy at so why not put in a couple applications to schools like that so you have options so we talked and talked and talked through all the options don't go at all apply to top schools apply to schools in the middle and here's what he said you know if I didn't put in a few more applications to some other top choices of mine all of which are a real reach for me I realize that I know in my heart that I wouldn't have given it my

all and I guess Mom if they reject me too then you know what it's going to make me feel better at where I ultimately end up I love that I love that because number one he's getting in touch with what he wants and number two it really tracks back to something that you and I talk about all the time that dreams and your goals they are there for a reason and they're not necessarily there because you're supposed to achieve them dreams set a direction that you head in dreams are what you pursue in order for

you to become the kind of person that you want to become see these dreams and goals goal that you have these reaches that you go for they force you to do things that you wouldn't normally do and that's exactly what our son was talking about he knows that by buckling down right now at the moment where he least wants to do this this is the last thing that he wants to do but by doing it and going for it he is demonstrating something that he cares in terms of his character that's why he wants to

apply he's not doing it to get into a school he's applying because that's the kind of person he knows that he wants to be and I want you to think like where in your life have you gone for something simply because you knew pursuing it would cause you to become a better version of yourself and so let's Circle this back and highlight step one which is you have to know why you want something and let's talk about you let's talk about your why whether you're listening to me right now and you're picking yourself back up

or you're cranking along you got some big goal and you would just love to destroy it this year I mean let's level up let's amplify let's swing for the fences people you want to tap into that like self motivation to really rocket ship this puppy what is it that you want what is it that you're working on and why do you want it why and as you ponder that I want to remind you that I can help you answer this I created this incredible workbook that is free zero cost it's my gift to you to

help you gain clarity about what you want and why you want it which is essential if you want to tap into self-motivation it is 29 amazing aming pages long you can hear me flipping through it right now and already hundreds of thousands of podcast listeners from around the world have downloaded this puppy they love it they love the tools in it this is a resource for you and you can get it right now at melrobbins.com Best Year please share it with your friends share it with your families and this workbook is going to help you

with step one what do I want why do I want it because the workbook begins with six clarifying questions that give you those answers and this is so important and it's not just me saying it it's not just common sense there is breakthrough research that comes from the University of Oregon that has shown that you have to know your why in order to achieve your goals knowing your why matters and based on the research it's because when you know why something matters to you it helps you with self-regulation it helps you prioritize doing the work

over other things that are not as important but are easier to do and this is essential because if you know that something matters you'll come home after ski practice instead of taking a few extra runs with your friends and you'll work on college applications because you know why it matters you'll get out of bed a little bit earlier to chip away at your resume instead of sleeping in this weekend because you'll know why it matters and so this is grounded in the research and we talked about this extensively in a recent episode that I did

on goals in fact I released it just a week ago if you want to dive in deeper and speaking of diving in deeper I want to go to the second step that's going to help you tap into that self motivation right when you really need to rev that engine back up and before we go there let's go to a short word from our sponsors who helped me bring this to you at zero cost and look I love our sponsors of the Mel Robins podcast why I'll tell you why because it's tied to my why my

enthusiasm is authentic I not only love their products and Serv services but I love the fact that they are the reason I can Empower you with free content twice a week they support the show so take a listen and when we come back we are going to talk about the essential second step to self motivation don't go anywhere welcome back it's your friend Mel I am so glad you are here with me I'm so glad that you have downloaded your workbook at melrobbins.com bestyear and I am thrilled that you are sharing this episode with anybody

that needs to tap into self motivation all right let me just recap where we've been okay you've learned that motivation is just feeling like doing something that's all that it is we talked briefly about dopamine and the fact that dopamine is a part of motivation but it's really part of the craving cycle that when you crave something the dopamine effect is there and that's what is driving the motivation for you you to move toward it but we are really focusing on what the heck do you do when you don't have the craving when you don't

feel motivated when you don't feel like sitting down and cranking out a resume when you don't want to dive into your taxes or go out on another date or spend a Sunday night prepping healthy snacks for the week GH or getting your desk or your closet organized oh none of which anybody ever craves to do which is why we don't do it but you don't have to be stopped by that anymore do you because you know that motivation is just a feeling and that there are going to be things that you have to do in

your life that you don't want to do and so now you know you're going to have to hack this thing right so step one you got to remind yourself why does this matter to you even the stupid little stuff why does it matter to you to do the dishes I'll tell you why because when I wake up in the morning and I walk into the kitchen and I want to have a nice cup of coffee and light my incense and start my day off right you know what I don't want to see I don't want

to see a sink full of crusted greasy nasty ass dishes and pots from last night that are cold and gross and I don't want to roll up my pajama sleeves and stick my hands into the soapy water and have to scrub that stuff off because you know what I'm gonna be mad I'm going to be mad that I left it for myself I'm going to be mad that nobody else did it I'm going to be mad that I left yesterday's mess for myself first thing in the morning to clean up cuz that's a stupid way

to start the morning and I know that so why is my why do the dishes at Night My why for doing the dishes after I cook is number one because I want to set myself up for a great morning number two I know that even though it doesn't feel easier and even though I don't crave sticking my hands into the sink right now at night I know that if I do it right now I'm going to be better off I know how good it feels when I'm done doing the dishes and I know that a

little push right now to get me to do the dang dishes and get it done and wipe down the counters and go to bed with a clean kitchen that matters more to me than how I feel right now about not doing it so I don't sit around and wait to Crave I don't sit around and wait to feel motivated I push myself to do it because it matters it matters and here's step two you ready this is so simple let's just take a page from Nike from the most powerful tagline on the planet of any

brand anywhere just do it three words just do it do you know why that tagline is so powerful I want you to stop and think about it just do it I ask this questions a lot when I'm giving a keynote speech and I'll stand in front of an audience of 10,000 people and say in Nike's tagline just do it what do you think the single most important and powerful word of that tagline is you know what everybody guess do do and I don't blame them because I take an action first approach to life but do

is wrong that's not the reason why that tagline is so powerful you know what everybody guesses next when I tell them nope it's not do it it you got to know what you want that's true that's true you do need to know what you want because when you know what you want you now can align your actions with it but that's not why that tagline is powerful and I can prove it to you imagine if their tagline was just do it would that be that empowering no that's because the most powerful word in the entire

tagline is just just is the universal moment of hesitation it's that moment where you're standing on a sideline and you're thinking about whether you're going to jump into the game you're thinking about whether or not you're going to do it you're standing there because you're afraid or you feel feel unworthy or you feel like you might not be good enough to be in that game or now might not be the right time to jump into the game see all of those emotions that you feel they don't motivate you they drive you to hesitate because it's

so easy right to stand on the sidelines and think about filling out applications or think about applying for that job or think about going out on another date see that's what Nike's referring to to how you and I sit in our heads and stand on the sidelines of life just waiting for inspiration or motivation to strike that's why this tagline is so powerful because Nike knows we are not motivated to do things that scare us we are not motivated to step into the game we are not motivated when it comes to doing things that feel

a little scary that feel like they might challenge us that feel like we might not be good enough that's why they're saying just do it they are calling you from the sidelines because guess what there is greatness in you even when you don't feel like it there is greatness for you to tap into there is greatness that you can apply to this situation so how the heck do you summon it just do it push through the hesitation because the power is in the action self motivation means you understand what you need to do why you

need to do it and you force yourself through the hesitation to do the thing you don't feel like doing regardless of your emotions despite the fact that you're not motivated you do it because you know why this matters and the reason why it matters is because every time you push through that hesitation every time you push through the lack of motivation you tap into the greatness that is inside of you you open the doors to a life that you're meant to lead it's only through the action and I've come to believe it's only through learning

how to push through that moment of fear that moment of hesitation those moments when you don't feel like it that's how you tap into the greatness and there's one other thing I want to share to you in this regard of just do it because the other night I was out to dinner with our daughter Sawyer and her boyfriend Gavin and they knew that Oakley had not gotten into his school and they were asking you know how he's feeling and we were just talking about how hard it is I mean how hard it is to just

pick yourself back up especially when you didn't get what you worked for and put your best effort forward even though you feel like a loser you feel like you failed or you feel like why bother and Gavin was kind of reflecting on his kind of college process and he had this really awesome philosophy I'm gonna steal this because I freaking love this and it's something that he learned from his coach when he was playing D1 lacrosse fail at full speed in life I want you to fail at full speed if you're going to apply to

a top school or to your dream job or you're going to try to overcome your health challenges I want you to know in your heart that you ran at that thing as hard as you freaking could that if you wanted it if you know why you wanted it that you freaking attacked it no matter how you feel in this moment that you don't let the temporary feelings stop you from giving your all when the moment matters and you know what I also love about this well first of all I love no motivation required it didn't

say when you're motivated make sure you fail full speed no motivation is not part of this it's 100% about who you are being if you're going to fail at full speed you're not going to wait around to feel motivated to do that you're going to push yourself that's a that's an ethos that's a philosophy about how you attack the things that matter to you I mean don't you want to be that kind of person that gave it your all when it comes to the things that you really want in your life I mean I can't

imagine any worse feeling than living with regret knowing that you just gave up you just whatever I don't feel like it I know it matters to me i' I'd be willing to live with this heartache for my whole life knowing I didn't truly take my best shot rather than the Heartbreak of going for it and being told no I mean wouldn't you rather fail at everything knowing that you tried as hard as you could I would I'd rather do that than be successful to everybody on the outside but no deep on the inside I cut

Corners I cheated my way way there I didn't really earn it and here's the thing fail at full speed it's about putting your heart into something that matters to you running at the ball but I do want to add one caveat because I have said a lot in our conversations especially recently that you must slow down before you can step on the accelerator being clear about the direction that you're headed in way more important than how fast you're going there are so many people just running in circles no idea where they're headed going nowhere fast

so let me explain what full speed means it means slowing down so you understand what you want and why and once you figure out what you want and why you want it it means giving it your very best effort whatever best means today and there are going to be those days where you only have 20% to give or 30% to give or 4 40% to give that was me for the past two months I have been exhausted Ive worked way too much this year but if 20% effort is everything that you've got today and you

give 20% that's 100% effort that's full speed that's what I'm talking about I learned that from my friend and brain coach Jim quick who appeared on this podcast about a month ago and only you know how much you have to give today and I love that I love that because there are going to be times in your life where you just got 20% in the tank but you're going to give it and only you know how much you have to give only you know whether or not you're giving it your all and you also know

by the way when you're standing on the sidelines listening to the excuses and so when it comes to self-motivation just come back to this advice over and over and over again these two simple steps are all you need to know seriously anytime I find myself hesitating or feeling unmotivated you know what I do I remind myself why this matters doing the dishes I don't feel like doing the fre why why do I do the dishes okay yeah that's right that's right that's right I'm gonna push myself to do it for the big things for the

little things it will summon the exact Clarity that you need it will cut through the emotions of the moment and it will give you exactly what you need to do next it works for me I know it'll work for you so stop waiting around to feel like it motivation is not coming if it's not something you crave dopamine is not going to help and it doesn't matter because now you know the two simple steps and the truth about self- motivation it is there for you if you understand what you want and you remind yourself of

why you want it and then you got to just do it use the 5sec rule 543 2 1 and push yourself through the excuse and take the action fail at full speed and I have a feeling you're not going to fail at all and don't ever forget I will be here twice a week right by your side reminding you every step of the way that yes there is greatness inside of you and in case no one else tells you today let me be the one to say I love you and I believe in you and

your ability to create a better life now go do it and thank you so much for being here on YouTube do not forget to get your download melrobbins.com bestest your everb and more importantly subscribe to the channel really helps us bring you amazing stuff like this and I know you want more motivation listen to this next