Weekend Update: UnitedHealthcare CEO Shooter Arrested, Trump Named TIME Person of the Year - SNL

It's Weekend Update. With Colin Jost and Michael Che. Wow.

Thank you. Good evening, everyone, and welcome to Weekend Update - I'm Michael Che. - I'm Colin Jost.

This week, America continued the delicate, sensitive debate over who will play this guy in the Netflix miniseries. After police arrested suspected shooter Luigi Mangione, they found a note on him expressing anger at corporate America. Yet he went to Starbucks before the shooting and then was caught at McDonald's.

So perhaps his greatest crime was hypocrisy. The McDonald's where the shooter got caught has been getting one star Yelp reviews to punish them for snitching. First of all, who looks at Yelp reviews of McDonald's?

The only Yelp review of McDonald's should be was open five stars. Everyone who went to high school with the alleged shooter said they were shocked that he could become an assassin, whereas everyone I went to high school with was shocked I didn't. Tensions over mysterious drones flying above new Jersey continued to rise after a drone crashed into a person's backyard, but at least now we know whoever's flying them is a friggin woman, right?

Donald Trump has been named Time's Person of the year because no person on earth has taken up more of our goddamn time. Amazon. Amazon is planning to donate $1 million to Donald Trump's inauguration.

It makes sense because Amazon and Trump both want to ship stuff out as fast as possible. It's the 90s, guys. Trump also said Friday that he would try to permanently end Daylight Savings Time by challenging the sun to a staring contest.

It was announced. It was announced that Matt Gaetz will host a new talk show on one American news network called The Matt Gaetz Show. He'll be covering everything from quinceaneras Ceres to prom night jitters.

That's like four Groaners in a row, man. A lawyer working with Robert F Kennedy Jr. Has petitioned the government to revoke its approval of the polio vaccine.

Because it ain't Christmas without some tiny Tim's. Elon Musk gave over $20 million to the mysterious RBG PAC, which claimed that Trump and Ruth Bader Ginsburg agreed on the issue of abortion. Wow.

I never even knew Trump got her pregnant. Supreme Court Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson made her Broadway debut in a one night performance in an Juliet, while Clarence Thomas blew everyone off the stage in Kinky Boots. Senator Mitch McConnell, seen here watching a gust of wind blow away a homeless man's lottery ticket.

So he suffered minor injuries after he fell during a Republican lunch, but thankfully, he landed on his hard shell back.