How Do I Find Self Worth? In 1974, Gallwey said: “When we plant a rose seed in the earth, we notice that it is small, but we do not criticize it as rootless and stemless. We treat it as a seed, giving it the water and nourishment required of a seed.
When it first shoots up out of the earth, we don't condemn it as immature and underdeveloped nor do we criticize the buds for not being open when they appear. We stand in wonder at the process taking place and give the plant the care it needs at each stage of its development. The rose is a rose from the time it is a seed to the time it dies.
Within it, at all times it contains its whole potential. It seems to be constantly in the process of change; yet at each stage, at each moment, it is whole as it is. ” I know that this week many of you are expecting me to talk about part II of the Akashic Records.
I promise you it's coming up, you're gonna get that next week. But based on the emails I've been receiving this week, I've decided that it's incredibly important for me to interject and to bring things more close to home. Today, we are going to talk about the poison vibration, the invisible handicap.
We are going to talk about the vibration of total powerlessness which is a vibration which is a direct preventative and a direct opposition and contradiction to Source energy. It's not even victim mentality. What it is, is self-hate and shame.
In my personal opinion, with the clients that I see on a daily basis, I can tell you that the collective human disease or the collective human disorder can be seen as lack of self worth. It's a fairly pervasive condition. In fact I don't think I've met anyone in my entirety of being alive that has pure positive focus towards themselves at all moments of the day.
All self worth issues stem from one thought. That thought is: “I am not enough. I am not enough without the things that I do, to justify my existence here on this planet.
" “I am not enough" is the reason that most people who are alive today, are running this endless rat race for achievement. They are trying to become more than they already are. It is the origin of most of the stress on this planet as well.
I'm sure that some of you are new to spirituality, who are watching this video, and I am also equally sure that many of you would consider yourselves someone who has been on the spiritual path for a very long time. You've got a lot of years under your belt. And I think it's important to bring up the fact that even those of us who consider ourselves highly spiritual and highly awakened, realize that many of us have a motivation, even for doing what we do in the spiritual endeavors that we may find ourselves on.
The motivation for our chasing enlightenment and the pursuit of self actualization really stems from the belief for most of us that we aren't enough as we are. This is one of the final traps of spiritual practice. For example, when I mean a trap, I mean, those of us who are pursuing to be free of ego, pretty soon you find out that there can be ego even in being egoless.
So one of these final traps of spirituality is, why are you really pursuing this path of spirituality? Are you pursuing this path because you think you are not enough? If many of us explore this idea, we may find that the answer is yes.
And only at that point, will your spiritual path deepen. It's useless to expect yourselves to be anywhere other than where you are. And most of us alive on this planet, came here so that we could experience contrast so that it would inspire new ideas within us.
So, none of us really came down into what we would consider a perfectly healthy household. You can't expect to be taught what self-worth is, real self-worth, if you are being raised by adults who have no idea what it is themselves. So the process of getting into self-worth is always an individual process.
You can’t look to anyone else to create it for you. It's always something that you develop. Some of us may have been luckier than others, many of us may have had parents who reflected the ideas of true self-worth to us, but it's always an individual process.
So, how can you go about discovering your own self-worth? Which will move you into self esteem and will move you into the vibration of self-love. You need to ask yourself: “How am I enough?
” So often we focus on what we aren’t, instead of what we are. If you're focused on lack you get nothing more than lack and so you have to take your attention off of your deficiencies. You have to shift into thoughts of appreciation of yourself.
I watch quite a bit, when people say they're very acutely aware of what they want. But their acute awareness of what they want is coming from such attention on what they don't want, that they then become very confused about why they are not getting what it is that they desire. And the reason is because, what they are really focused on is, what's supposed to create their desire in the first place, which are the initial conditions, usually lack that are inspiring them to what they desire.
So, once you are inspired by lack of self-love, towards self-love, you have to stop focusing on the lack of self-love, you have to stop focusing on those thoughts of your deficiencies, in order to move in the direction of self-worth and self-love. You also have to start taking care of yourself. You can’t develop self-love and you can't develop self-worth, if you are still devaluing your own life.
What I mean by devaluing your own life is, if you are filling your life up with alcohol, or no sleep, or bad diets, or contributing physically to feeling bad about yourself and your life, then you can’t step into the vibration of self-love, which is where self-worth resides. So take a good close look at your life, and figure out what aspects of your life you are creating a contradiction to self worth and self-love. And work to incrementally release those habits and patterns, so that your life can become a physical reflection of someone who might love themselves, or someone who might have value in their own identity.
Recognize that productivity can be an expression of self-worth, but if your value depends on productivity, you will never be able to feel value. The reason is because value will continue to be a receding horizon line. What I mean by that is, once you make productivity your idea of self-worth, then soon you will always chasing the next productive thing and the next productive thing.
You will have to keep justifying your worth in your existence, and you will never achieve it. It’s like the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, but nobody can ever find the end of the rainbow. So you have to pull your teeth out of the idea of productivity.
There is nothing that you are doing here, in terms of justifying your own existence. You also have to figure out what is rooting you to dislike. Many of you who follow my teachings, know that I talk about the fact that anytime we are ever doing something which doesn't benefit us, (that we are convinced doesn't benefit us) we really have to look for what is benefiting in us within that negative behavior.
What I mean by this is, many of you might say: “Well, rooting myself to something which I dislike never serves me. ” But, let's say that this is a belief: "If I say things that are self-critical, other people are more likely to like me, and think that I am humble. ” Girls, you know who you are!
So that might be a reason that somebody might root themselves to a negative behaviors, because it's actually benefiting them in some way. So look for the ways it might be benefiting you. Another example is: “Sometimes I get pity for my self-critical nature, and that feels like people care about me, and so it feels like love.
” So you have to decide if these roots, which are anchoring you to. . .
self-hatred, so to speak, justify the cost of bad self-esteem. Next, you have to decide what you really think about worth. Not what you have been taught to believe.
You have to examine your own mind and your own ideas about worth in general. You've got to ask yourself: "Are they limiting or are they beneficial? " If they are limiting, you have to replace them by finding new thoughts to think.
And you have to leave beliefs with their origin. I am going to explain quickly what I mean by replacing thoughts. All that a belief is, is a thought that's been thought over and over again, so much that it no longer takes effort to think that thought.
That thought becomes a neural pathway. And the neural pathway is now in charge of the effort to bring that thought forth into reality. So, we call it, at this point, subconscious.
When you find these limiting beliefs, I'm sure that many of you, might have watched my video on shadow work. In that particular video, I explain how to explore a core belief. So once you root out your core beliefs, you have to figure out where they came from.
If you chase them back to the origin, maybe it’s a circumstance, maybe it's one of the adults in your life when you were a child. You got to be able to leave that belief with who it belongs to. It's not your belief.
It's something that you adopted. And once you leave it there, you have to replace it with new thoughts. Your brain is a scientist.
That means, you can use it like the tool that it is. You can send it out on a scavenger hunt for what you would like to believe better. This is the best thing to do if you would like to look for proof.
You tell your brain: “OK! Now, today what you are going to do, is an activity where you look for proof of your own worth. ” You basically create a situation where you are telling your brain to look for the aspects which it can appreciate which add to the idea of self-worth, or which reinforce any belief you're trying to replace.
And the more often that you think those beliefs, the more neural pathways will be formed to those new thoughts, and pretty soon it will take no effort to think them. I know that many of you are a bit frustrated that this takes so much work. It's not like I am just handing you a pill.
But the answer to everything in this life is: choose a new thought to think, choose a better feeling thought, and your overall vibration will change, and the minute that that happens you will be manifesting new proof into your life of new realities. The next thing you want to do is to avoid certain types of thinking. Thoughts like: - Comparisons with others.
- Personalizing other people's reactions to you. - Blaming others. - Jumping to worst-case scenarios.
- Assuming. - Using shoulds. - Over generalizing such as using statements which always involve "always" or "never".
- Labeling and judging. - All or nothing thinking. That kind of thinking is where you're either a success or a failure.
There's nothing in between winning or losing. And most especially: - Making feelings facts. What I mean by this is: “I feel worthless therefore I must be worthless.
” When you catch yourself thinking any of these ways that I have just mentioned, you've got to stop yourself in that moment, and in that awareness of that thought which you just held, figure out which thought would be a better thought to hold relative to that subject. A good practice to employ would be: Pretend that you are talking to a friend. Say, that friend presented the very thought which you just came up with, to you, a thought like: “I feel worthless.
. . I must be worthless”.
What would you say to that friend? And you have to start replacing your own thought patterns in the same way that you often replace other people’s thought patterns when they present you with a limiting thought or a limiting belief. An example of a thought, which is a limiting thought, something which pulls you in opposition to self-love, would be: “That person hates me.
” So, if you have a thought like that, in that moment, you could stop yourself and say: “Well, that's assuming. In reality, I have no idea what he's gone through today. He might just be in an incredibly unhappy mood, because of something that occurred earlier today.
Or he may have been hurt by someone who I remind him of, and it has nothing to do with me. ” That's the example of replacing a prior thought: “That person hates me”, with a new improved thought: “Really, that's just assuming. He could have been hurt by somebody who I remind him of, and it has nothing to do with me.
” Another good technique you can use is meditating on core affirming thoughts. You can pick a thought which feels good for you to think relative to yourself, and repeat it to yourself, while you are in meditation, almost like a mantra, and let yourself sink into the vibration of the words. Another good way of doing this, is to record yourself, saying core affirming thoughts, and then put your earphones on at night, and while you are slipping into a state of subconscious when your brain is no longer in judgment mode, therefore more apt to receive subliminal messages.
You can play this list of yourself talking to yourself with core affirming thoughts. It will amaze you how fabulous your emotions will be when you wake up in the morning after having done something like that. I want to speak to you about affirmations, because affirmations are fabulous, as we all know affirmations are basically positive core affirming thoughts.
Affirmations are going to be different for everybody because the affirmation is relative to where you stand on the emotional scale. But there is a good and a bad side to affirmations. There is a way that you can use them appropriately and inappropriately.
Many people want to jump from square one to square ten with affirmations. So they begin with self hating and then they say: “Okay, well, the opposite of this is: 'I love myself'. ” But if somebody is really in the vibration of self hate, and they say the words: “I love myself”, because all proof in their life has been pointing in the opposite direction, (for most of us for many of years) that affirmation is a direct assault to your own personal sense of intelligence.
So instead of it making you feel good, it's going to make you feel bad, because instead of showing you into the vibration of self-love, it will make you more acutely aware of where you aren't. So it's really important when you're thinking of affirmations, to pick the thoughts which FEEL good to you, which you really do line up with, meaning you really do believe. So I may not instantly be able to go into the vibration of: “I love myself", but I might think that "I value myself because I care.
" That thought may feel good to me to think and it's something that all of me lines up with. And the more you pick these better feeling and better feeling thoughts, pretty soon down the line, you can say: “I love myself” and really mean it. There won't be any hesitation when you come up with that affirmation.
I think the last one that I am going to leave you with today, in terms of practices is, one that I used on myself in the very beginning of my healing. Water is H20. It will always be H20.
But how those H20 molecules arrange themselves or structurize themselves, changes based on what the water is around. Therefore if you have a glass of water or anything with water in it, which is as you know, it’s food as well, it's humans, we're 70 plus percent water; so if you are going to drink something or eat something, (my favorite is to do this with a glass of water) what you want to do is, put your hands on either side of the glass and focus the vibration of true appreciation into that water. If it helps you to come up with the feeling of really loving someone that you have loved in the past, whatever thought it takes for you to generate that extreme emotion of love of something else, you can project that into the water.
Visualize that sensation flowing through you into the glass of water, you want to hold this thought in this practice for about two to three minutes (the longer the better) and then I want you to drink the water. If you can make this practice every day, you will literally be restructuring the water of your own body. Water which has been poisoned, with the thoughts of self-deprecation and criticizing and all these kinds of thoughts, which you've probably been thinking, which diminish your sense of self-worth.
The first time that I did this in my personal life, I was sitting in such a strong attitude of self hate after years and years of abuse and self torture after that, that when I drank that water, I broke down. The first three times, I ended up on the floor, breaking down, because it was such a huge discordance between that vibration I was putting into my body, and what I had been feeding it over years and years. But after about three months of doing that, I was able to come up with these core affirming thoughts for the first time and I didn't feel guilty about saying them.
So I would love you to try it. But believe me when I tell you this can be one of the most life changing things that you can possibly interject into your day-to-day life. It's my desire that you talk your way into your own beliefs about worth.
It's my desire that those beliefs are in line with what's a benefit to you, and never a limit to you. But I'm going to talk to you for a minute about worth with respects to how it is seen universally. Worth is inherent.
You are an extension of Source. You are born with worth and you die with worth. All anything in this life is, is either an obscurer or an allower of that light, which is inherently yours.
The best analogy I can come up with for this is: Your worth is like a light. Anything you do in your life is nothing but a showcase of that light. If it's at beneficial thing that you are doing, if it's some sort of success which you have achieved, all that is, is like a stained glass which is allowing that light to express itself in beautiful ways.
And anything you’ve done, anybody you’ve hurt in this life, anything that you don't feel proud of, is nothing but dirt or filament in front of that light. But the light is always there. It doesn't matter whether you're a Hitler, or a Mother Teresa.
At your core you are a unique, eternal, infinite, precious, valuable and good person. You are in other words, an endless sea of potential, which is completely unchanging. You can't add to it and you cannot take away from it.
It's interesting in this society when we're talking about worth, that we draw some imaginary line in the sand, where suddenly a person doesn't have worth and has to justify their own existence. When you came in as a baby, you did absolutely nothing to justify your life. A baby can do nothing except for sit there.
It can’t do anything and yet it is of infinite worth. It's because you are looking at its potential. But that potential never goes away.
If you are looking for this arbitrary line in the sand at which now you have to justify your own worth, you're not going to find it. It doesn't exist. It's an imaginary line that we like to draw.
You have as much worth and potential today, as you did, when you were born, and you will have as much worth and potential that day you die as you did when you were born. Your worth didn't go anywhere. You can't get rid of or lose something that's eternal.
A talent is not a worth. It's not a worth in and of itself. It's an expression of worth, which is inherent in all beings, no matter how small, no matter how large, no matter how much good or evil that they've done in their life.
The reality is, is that worth is eternal. There is no way you can get rid of it. There is no way you can even add to it.
You can either showcase it or hide it. Remember that you are wonderful. You are of infinite worth, even if all you did for the rest of your life was to sit in a vegetable state.
You do not need to justify your life. You don't need to justify yourself to yourself or to anyone. Okay.
. . one second.
This is really a difficult one to get through. - It's okay? You are enough.
You are enough exactly as you are in this very moment and every moment. Oh my god. .
. This subject is a relatively emotional one for me, seeing as how. I struggled with self-worth so much and I understand what can come of really finding it.
When you focus towards yourself and others with an attitude of searching what to appreciate, instead of what to condemn, you will come to know this worth which is inherently yours. You will come to know joy for the first time. And this is my desire for all of you.
This is my desire for all people on this earth. So, good luck.