A Warning to Hopeless Romantics

film often serves as escapism I want all of you forever you and me it's a retreat from the mundane and I'll get bored with you and feel trapped because that's what happens with me it should go without saying though that it's portrayals of love I love you I knew it the minute I met you are mostly fantasized I just shut up just shut up you had me at hello enter 500 Days of Summer a film who protagonist has trouble separating fantasy from reality Tom is a hopeless romantic conditioned to be so since childhood these dreams

of what life should really be like have bled into his day-to-day routine he doesn't find enjoyment in his work he's given up on his passion for architecture he set impossible standards for nearly every aspect of his life assuming it should be this constant highlight reel of pleasure and fulfillment as a result he experiences emotional extremes and constantly lets himself down I don't want to get over I want to get it back and then we have summer everyone this is summer my new assistant she's a cynic and supposedly since the divorce of her parents has kept

her expectations low which tends to leave her less susceptible to attachment when we first meet her it's revealed that she's moved to LA all the way from Michigan Tom true to his nature Falls immediately head over heels for this girl despite knowing nothing about her we're told time and time again before this relationship even starts that it's not going to end well but you should know up front this is not a love story we're even told that it's happened before it's Amanda hell all over again Tom clearly shows a pattern here a pattern that habitually

sets him up to fail before there's any real long-term potential we quickly discover that Tom has a very low opinion of himself you want good oh this one I meant as an architect yeah I doubt it their conversation at the office party leads summer to encourage encourage Tom to try architecture again despite him saying it wasn't the right fit he's not able to push himself he relies on outside motivation he thinks he'll find the personal fulfillment he craves in another person this is not only an unhealthy approach to dating but a terrifying amount of weight

to impose on someone else especially so early on he's already created a mold in his head that he expects her to fit comfortably into because of this Romanticism every small interaction with her feels like a world changing event I love the Smiths sorry I said I love the Smiths this leads Tom to begin overanalyzing every interaction with her and is left devastated when she doesn't react the way he wants how's he weekend it was good can you believe that she said it was good emphasis on the good she basically said she spent the weekend having

sex with some guy she met at the gym he tends to habitually assume the worst despite there not being any spoken boundary here he already feels entitled to her time effort and exclusivity even though he's yet to even ask her out they end up hanging out for the first time at caraoke night where Tom would find out that not only does summer not have a boyfriend but she doesn't want one I just don't feel comfortable being anyone's girlfriend they don't actually feel comfortable being anyone's anything you know wait wait what happens if you fall in

love what you don't believe that do you Tom is so desperate for intimacy he's overlooking the clear initial signs that this will end in disaster this Bojack scene perfectly expresses it you know it's funny when you look at someone through rose-colored glasses all the red flags just look like Flags to her credit summer is painfully honest but Tom is constantly convincing himself that she like him just hasn't found the right one yet the problem is only one of them is ever convinced they're the perfect fit not through genuine compatibility but through sheer delusion Tom enables

this vicious cycle by going along with Summer's pitch for a short-term casual relationship I just want to tell you that um I'm not really looking for anything serious he's hiding his true feelings while coping and seething in silence secretly hoping it'll turn into something more I'm in love with Summer I Love Her Smile I love her hair I love her knees this of course is reciprocated no don't pull that with me don't even try to and eventually after numerous attempts on Tom's end to make it serious summer decides to break things off I think we

should stop seeing each other just like that just like that this wasted effort causes Tom to lash out I don't care I'm happy aren't you happy you're happy you're not all we do is argue that is and at this point he can barely stomach the sight of his pancakes summer seems to be super dismissive of his feelings in this scene that is good I'm really glad we did this I love these pancakes but remember we're seeing this from Tom's point of view summer seems cold and disengaged because we're seeing her from the eyes of a

man with a broken heart he blames her for being cold and inconsiderate despite the full transparency it's a sign that he still got a ton of growth to do and if he hadn't put so much weight on her to begin with he probably wouldn't feel this way I hate summer I hit her crooked teeth I hit her 1960s haircut I hit her knobby knees the guidance and advice Tom usually needs comes in the form of his younger sister I know you think that she was the one but I don't no I think you're just remembering

the good stuff next time you look back I uh I really think you should look again she reminds him that maybe he's only been looking at the positives within the relationship purposely avoiding a truth he can't emotionally handle this situationship he's in starts to bleed into and affect his work life LLY your work performance has been a little off I'm not following prompting his friends to try and step in they set him up on a blind date who seems genuinely interested in him unfortunately Tom is still hanging on to the hope that Summer's going to

change he's built her up in his head for months therefore no one else seems like a proper substitute it's only when he's on the date with the new girl does he realize he didn't see the relationship for what it was summer was never that receptive to his attempts at being cute or relatable she never cheated on you no never she her take advantage of you in any way no and she told you up front that she didn't want a boyfriend yeah it's here we finally get to see an unfiltered version of their dating history not

the fanas perception of it that Tom's been showing us this whole time it became painfully apparent to Summer right about here when this film shatters The Shield Summers had her entire life and makes her realize that she doesn't actually have feelings for Tom I think I'm just going to call it a day you don't want to get some dinner you hungry I'm just tired okay after some self-reflection Tom takes a seemingly healthy approach to breaking up he begins studying architecture again and working on himself so all of his emotions aren't just tied to one thing

in the end Tom arrives at the same cold conclusion that summer had in the beginning you know what sucks realizing that everything you believe in is complete another sucks what do you mean uh you know Destiny and soulmates and summer develops Tom's initial wide-eyed approach towards love ditching her cynicism for a dreamier Outlook it just happened right but that's what I don't understand what just happened I just I just woke up one day and I knew knew [Music] what what I was never sure of with you Summer Leaves him with some final and painful words

it just wasn't me that you were right about prompting Tom to reciprocate some of his own that seemed to show significant growth I really do hope that you're happy summer though cold gave him the transparency he deserved and although it's not the outcome he wanted saved him an immense amount of grief in the long run if he's this upset over an honest approach to intimacy imagine how he'd feel had she played along feeding into these euphoric delusions only to do a complete 180 and break things off Tom would be absolutely devastated he couldn't mold summer

into the dream girl he wanted but another man could he has trouble reasoning with that he has trouble accepting that maybe you can't say or do the right thing for the wrong person ironically he develops into a much better man than he was before he met her so with this in mind surely he's learned his lesson right my name's Tom nice to meet you I'm autum or maybe not