5 Questions to Ask Yourself Every Evening

our minds are some of the busiest places in the known universe it's estimated that under a deceptively calm exterior some 70,000 separate thoughts hurry through Consciousness from the moment we wake up to the time we slip into sleep what many of these thoughts have in common is that we seldom do them any kind of Justice the result is a kind of sensory overload and an immense difficulty processing what we've actually been through we don't have time to feel the anger we're beset by we don't have the wherewithal to give room to the sadness that nags

at us we can't on too many occasions properly think our own thoughts or feel our own feelings but these thoughts and feelings do need to be understood and will protest more or less actively when they're not anger that hasn't been given its due will emerge as irritability grief that hasn't been honored will metas into aimlessness and despair what we call mental illnesses are usually the outcome of periods of Our Lives that we haven't had the strength or opportunity toand or mourn what can help our troubles is self-exploration and that's why we've produced five questions that

we suggest can be rehearsed every evening on a regular basis and will help to appease the sources of our troubles first question what am I really worried about this question recognizes something rather unusual about how we operate we frequently don't stop to ask ourselves what we're truly worried about this sounds odd surely if we're worried we would be expected to pause rather quickly and explore why but our minds seem not to work in this supremely logical sounding way they feel anxious long before they're ever motivated to ask themselves why they might be so they can

carry on for months even years under the fog of diffuse concern before setting themselves the challenge of zeroing in on what is really at stake so the question bids us to stop running and to turn around and look at what might actually be ailing us the use of the word really is strategic we often use one worry to Shield us from another we worry about an upcoming interview to protect us from worrying about the state of our relationship we worry about money in order not to worry about death so it can be helpful to keep

a supplementary inquiry in mind what worry might lie behind the worry that is currently obsessing me second question what am I presently sad about we can make a generalization we go around being far braver than is good for us because we need to get on with the practicalities of the day we frequently push to the side all the slights hurts disappointments and griefs that flow through our River of Consciousness we choose not to notice how vulnerable we are for fear that we cannot afford our own sensitivity but stoicism and strength carry their own dangers with

the help of this question we should give time to noticing that despite our competent and strong exteriors lots of smaller and larger things have managed to hurt us today like every day perhaps someone didn't laugh when we told a joke our partner has been a little distant of late a friend didn't call a senior figure at work was less than completely impressed we don't need to mock ourselves we aren't weaklings for being fragile in fact there is no clearer evidence of our maturity than our capacity to explore the ways in which we like everyone else

on the planet are as sensitive and easily bruised as a child third question who has annoyed me and how we want to be polite of course we're attached to the Norms of civilization it upsets us to think we might be upset nevertheless here too we need to have the courage of our actual sensitivity no day goes by without someone annoying Us in some rather fundamental way usually without them in any way meaning to our spirits will be lighter if we can bring ourselves to spell out the injury what happened how did it make us feel

what might we tell ourselves to refind equilibrium if we were lucky we used to do this sort of thing with a kindly parent when we returned home from school now as careful Guardians to ourselves we can internalize the process and use our inner adult to soothe the always easily flustered but also easily calmed inner child fourth question what does my body want much of what we feel but don't process has a habit of ending up in our bodies that's why we develop back ache tense shoulders knotted stomachs and fluttery hearts in order to live more

easily around our bodies we should regularly drain them of the emotions that they have unfairly been burdened with we should mentally scan our bodies from top to toe and ask ourselves what each organ might require what do my shoulders want to tell me what would my stomach want to say what does my back need what do my legs crave the questions may sound strange what is surprising is that we're likely to have some very concrete answers just waiting for us when we ask fifth question what is still lovely despite so much that's difficult every day

brings us up against a range of things that still delight and enchant us often these elements are small the light on the kitchen wall in the morning a child holding its parents hand at the bus stop a fig we had at lunchtime these might not sound like things we should bother to register but summoned up in their full richness and held in our attention for a few moments they can help to fortify us against the voices of Despair we tend to assume that if something is lovely it will strike our minds as being so with

full force without us needing to do anything supplementary the reality is stranger we need to make a conscious effort to squeeze joy out of beneficial elements that might otherwise be forgotten without notice our lives have some lovely aspects to them but we may surprisingly regularly and rather clumsily have to make a list of them in order to realize that they exist when Socrates apparently the wisest man of antiquity was asked to Define our highest purpose as human beings he offered a still legendary answer to know ourselves we should aspire to be people who never see

to try to make sense of themselves at the close of every day we should devote ourselves constantly to trying to shrink the scale of the darkness within us bringing what was once in Shadow closer to the light of interpretation so that we stand a chance of becoming slightly less frantic and rather more joyful creative and calm creatures