George Carlin - Saving the Planet

see I'm not one of these people who's worried about everything you got people like this around you country's full of them now people walking around all day long every minute of the day worried about everything worried about the air worried about the water worried about the soil worried about insecticides pesticides food additives carcinogens worried about radon gas worried about asbest worried about saving endangered species let me tell you about endangered species all right saving endangered species is just one more AR arant attempt by humans to control nature it's arrogant meddling it's what got us in

trouble in the first place doesn't anybody understand that interfering with nature over 90% over way over 90% of all the species that have ever lived on this planet ever lived are gone they're extinct we didn't kill them all they just disappeared that's what nature does they disappear here these days at the rate of 255 a day and I mean regardless of our our Behavior irrespective of how we act on this planet 25 species that were here today will be gone tomorrow let them go gracefully leave nature alone haven't we done enough we're so self-important so

self-important everybody's going to save something now save the trees save the bees save the whales save those snails and the greatest arrogance of of all save the planet what are these [ __ ] people kidding me save the planet we don't even know how to take care of ourselves yet we haven't learned how to care for one another we're going to save the [ __ ] planet I'm getting tired of that [ __ ] tired of that [ __ ] tired I'm tired of [ __ ] Earth day I'm tired of these self-righteous environmentalists these

white bgea liberals who think the only thing wrong with this country is there AR enough bicycle paths people trying to make the world safe for their Volvos besides environmentalists don't give a [ __ ] about the planet they don't care about the planet not in the abstract they don't not in the abstract they don't you know what they're interested in a clean place to live their own habitat they're worried that someday in the future they might be personally inconvenienced narrow unenlightened self-interest doesn't impress me besides there is nothing wrong with the planet nothing wrong with

the planet the planet is fine the people are [ __ ] difference difference the planet is fine compared to the people the planet is doing great it's been here 4 and a half billion years do you ever think about the arithmetic planet has been here 4 and a half billion years we've been here what a 100,000 maybe 200,000 and we've only been engaged in heavy industry for a little over 200 years 200 years versus four a half billion and we have the conceit to think that somehow we're a threat that somehow we're going to put

in Jeopardy this beautiful little blue green ball it's just a floating around the sun the planet has been through a lot worse than us been through all kinds of things worse than us been through earthquakes volcanoes plate tectonics Continental drifts solar flares sunspots Magnetic storms the magnetic reversal of the poles hundreds of thousands of years of bombardment by comets and asteroids and meteors worldwide floods tidal waves worldwide fires erosion cosmic rays recurring ice ages and we think some plastic bags and some aluminum cans are going to make a difference the planet the planet the planet

isn't going anywhere we are we're going away pack your [ __ ] folks we're going away and we won't leave much of a trace either thank God for that maybe a little styrofoam maybe little styrofoam Planet will be here and we'll be long gone just another failed mutation just another closed end biological mistake an evolutionary cue saac the planet will shake us off like a bad case of fleas a surface nuisance you want to know how the plan planet's doing ask those people at Pompei who are frozen into position from volcanic ash how the planet's

doing why off the planet's all right ask those people in Mexico's City or Armenia or a hundred other places buried under thousands of tons of earthquake Rubble if they feel like a threat to the planet this week how about those people in kilaa Hawaii who build their homes right next to an active volcano and then wonder why they have lava in the living room the planet will be here for a long long long time after we're gone and it will heal itself it will cleanse itself because that's what it does it's a self-correcting system the

air and the water will recover the Earth will be renewed and if it's true that plastic is not degradable well the planet will simply incorporate plastic into a new paradigm the Earth plus plastic the Earth doesn't sh share our prejudice towards plastic plastic came out of the earth the earth probably sees plastic as just another one of its children could be the only reason the Earth allowed us to be spawned from it in the first place it wanted plastic for itself didn't know how to make it needed us could be the answer to our age-old

philosophical question why are we here plastic [ __ ] so so the plastic is here our job is done we can be phased out now and I think that's really started already don't you I mean to be fair the planet probably sees us as a mild threat something to be dealt with and I'm sure the planet will defend itself in in in the manner of a large organism like a beehive or an ant colony can muster a defense I'm sure the planet will think of something what would you do if you were the planet trying

to defend against this pesky Troublesome species let's see what my H viruses viruses might be good they seem vulnerable to viruses and uh viruses are tricky always mutating and forming new strains whenever a vaccine is developed perhaps this first virus could be one that that compromises the immune system of these creatures perhaps a human imuno deficiency virus making them vulnerable to all sorts of other diseases and infections that might come along and maybe it could be spread sexually making them a little reluctant to engage in the act of reproduction well that's a poetic note and

it's a St and I Can Dream can I see I don't worry about the little things bees trees whales snails I think we're part of a greater wisdom than we will ever understand a higher order call it what you want know what I call it the big electron the big electron whoa whoa whoa it doesn't punish it doesn't doesn't judge at all it just is and so are we for a little while thanks for being here with me for a little while tonight thank you thank you very much thank you thank you thank you New

York City take care of yourself take care of yourself and take care of somebody else thank you good night