Women don't close: what you want doesn't matter

I'm Dr Orion terban and this is psyx Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is women don't close I'm not saying they can't close I'm saying they don't close when it comes to relationships women are not very good at sealing the deal and today I'm going to address this issue which should help women get more of what they want from the men they want to get it from so let's get to it to begin with you have to understand that functionally everything that tends to work in sales also tends to work

in seduction and that's because the fundamental premise is the same in both cases you are trying to sell something the fact that it's a product or a service on the one hand and an experience or a relationship on the other is irrelevant what works in one domain tends to work in the other now women listen listen closely a fundamental premise in sales is that you have to lead with what the other person wants you don't lead with what you want you lead with what the other person wants can you imagine how successful a Salesman would

be if she led with what she wanted imagine getting a call from a telemarketer like this like ring ring ring ring is this Orion Orion I would love to talk to you today about making my commission I get 10% of the value of every sale and I'm saving up for a new car so I'd really like you to buy a lot today so Orion are are you there can you imagine like I get it everyone has to make a living that salesman wanted money so do I who doesn't want money but what does her desire

for money have to do with me the desire for money is completely impersonal it has nothing to do with my particular needs and wants and interests and preferences and it predated her interaction with me like her desire for money is what motivated her to call me to begin with it has nothing to do with me whatsoever now men come up against this too in their desire for sex the desire for sex is actually very impersonal a man can just see an attractive female and want to have sex with her this has nothing to do with

the woman like the person inside of her body in this situation he just kind of wants the woman to give him access to her body in the same way that our hypothetical salesman just kind of wanted me to give her access to my money and this approach understandably wrinkles women women might understand that men want to have sex who doesn't but what does men's desire for sex have to do with her her it has nothing to do with her particular needs and wants and interests and preferences and it predated even his laying eyes on her

that desire for sex is like genetically programmed it's about as impersonal as it gets so men learn pretty quickly though some faster than others that if they want to get laid they can't lead with what they want to be successful they have to lead with what the woman wants and what women want more than anything else is an emotional experience that's why in order to close men learn to be funny or charming or witty or dangerous or mysterious or bold these approaches all generate emotional experiences which is something of value to women and this is

something that women have taught men that they value because they respond to it so a good salesman leads with what the other person wants and if she's a very good salesman she leads with the solution to an important self-relevant problem which is something everybody wants the trouble is that everyone doesn't have the same important self-relevant problem but trust me everyone has an important self-relevant problem and if you can offer a solution to that problem if you can insinuate that the means to that solution is simultaneously the solution to your own problem then you have grounds

for some kind of collaboration you can do something together however in the absence of that it's going to be very difficult to seal the deal and this is precisely what so many women are terrible at they don't know how to close and to my mind this is largely a consequence of the fact that they haven't needed to close or even to initiate for much of their lives like the world comes to the young woman but that interest Fades with time many of the women I've spoken to were uninterested in getting married and having children in

their 20s however when their priorities shifted in their 30s they often didn't appreciate how much more difficult it would be to secure the same offer that they once received at this stage of the game most women can't simply sit back and wait for their meat cute and the men who do show interest are much more likely to entertain a casual relationship than a long-term commitment so what's to be done if you appreciate the insights on this channel I would highly encourage you to get your hands on a copy of my book the value of others

over the course of 432 pages I delve deep into my economic model of relationships and explain the behavior of both men and women in the game of mating and dating I I also provide a lot of actionable advice on how to get and keep more of what you want in the sexual Marketplace once you read the value of others you'll never look at relationships the same way again now available in ebook Audi book and paperback formats the links are in the description in so many words these women need to get better at sales too often

in the sexual Marketplace women leave with what they want which if the woman is attractive enough is a decent strategy like men will line up to give beautiful women what they want if they believe it will improve their chances of securing a sexual opportunity the issue is that most women are not attractive enough to do this but their girlfriends and their society at large insist that they are this is not true no one has to encourage customers to buy a good affordable product if the sales aren't coming in it's often because the product is either

not very good or not very affordable remember a bad business blames its customers and the cat decides what milk is good in any case too often women lead with what they want which is terrible salesmanship they will sit down with a man on a first date and say I'm looking to get married I want a committed relationship I'm searching for a real emotional connection and it's like that's great sweetheart but what does that have to do with me like you had those desires before you even knew I existed they are completely impersonal I can empathize

with you validate your emotions and respect your desires but that doesn't mean that I'm going to give you what you want because you want it after all you don't just give sex to Men Who desire you and this is because it costs nothing to want and something to give the desire to get married is very impersonal like functionally any two adults can go down to the courthouse and get a license the desire to have children is very impersonal like it's in our DNA functionally any man could put sperm inside of you and give you a

baby and an emotional connection paradoxically is also very impersonal it's functionally possible to make an emotional connection with anyone and your ability to do that frankly has more to do with you than it has to do with me so all of these are impersonal desires that you're asking me to personally satisfy they pre-existed even knowing that I exist so what's in it for me and what's in it for most guys let's be honest is not love or partnership or even material gain like I love some of my friends but I'm not going to sign a

lifelong contract establishing our Union I love some of my family but I'm not going to invite them to live with me what in it for most guys is a sexual opportunity men will do all kinds of things for the people they want to that they wouldn't do for anyone else on this planet women take advantage of this lead with what the other person wants offering rich and creamy milk is what lowers resistance and opens the gate to the city and in this way people enter into particular Relationships by satisfying the other person's impersonal need in

order to satisfy their own this is how you close ladies you have to put yourself in the shoes of your potential customer what problems do they have that I can potentially solve with a product or service that I control lead with that solution and very important ensure that your price tag is commensurate with the importance of the problem or the scope of the solution do this and I guarantee that you will have far more success in getting what you want from men what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know

in the comments below and please send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message guys I know you have daughters I know you have sisters I know you know women who are struggling to get into relationships they might need to hear something stuff it's Word of Mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow anyone looking to join my free Weekly Newsletter or book a paid consultation can do so on my website there's also my book the value of others and my member Community the Captain's Quarters there's a

lot of useful information in all of these resources check them out the links are in the description below as always I appreciate your support and thank you for listening