So it's been 10 years huh...

as of now Jaden animations is officially 10 years old yes I know I technically made the channel in February but shut up I don't count that on July 23rd 2014 I uploaded my first ever animation to YouTube hey everyone my name is Shaden and all right that's enough you get the point it's kind of old news that a lot of content creators have started retiring especially after a hitting the old one zero making content on YouTube for 10 years has significantly changed the entire entire trajectory of my life I started Jaden animations when I was

16 at the time I was super shy quiet anxious knew nothing about the world I could count the number of friends I had on one finger but not in a sad way I I liked my simple little life for the longest time I didn't even realize YouTube had channels or that people were uploading things like Vlogs and series and skits I mean it was definitely less established at the time compared to now but I saw YouTube as just the place to watch funny cats and compilations of people getting hit in the crotch the way I

found out about this whole online world was after coming home from school one day to find my laptop not turning on meaning I couldn't play Minecraft anymore we've all been there it's tragic to satisfy my desperate Minecraft hyperfixation I typed Minecraft into the YouTube search bar to see if anyone just so happened to upload any Minecraft related videos and oh were there people uploading Minecraft related videos my world EXP expanded exponentially at that very moment YouTube channels subscribers people uploading content for an audience that looks forward to their videos the first channel I ever subscribed

to was a Minecraft Youtuber who I don't even I'm blanking on the name but I was now aware of YouTube as an actual Community Beyond funny fail compilations watching videos became a huge part of my day-to-day life I put stuff on when I wanted to relax laugh needed background noise if I was having a tough day I would lock myself in my bathroom lay on the floor and watch videos on my phone and I'd feel better even before making content Myself YouTube was an essential part of my life I branched out from Minecraft to General

gaming videos even the occasional Vlog series until I stumbled upon a very special video in my suggested feed an animated story time from a YouTuber called doic it was his emails video I Remember so clearly after watching it I immediately binged his whole Channel I loved his animated stories they made me laugh so much for the first time ever I thought to myself I want to do stuff like that I want to animate and around the same time I was really into is Cupquakes Minecraft Oasis series and had even sent in a few fan arts

I drove for her she posted a couple at the end of her videos which genuinely made me so extremely happy I was totally freaking out anyway in one of the episodes she mentioned that she wanted to find an animator to animate some of her funny Minecraft moments and suddenly I saw the stars align in front of me I sent her a little message attached to another fan art basically saying hi Cupquake um I I'd love to animate for you if you're interested and she ended up reaching out and was like hey we love your style

and would love to work with you do you have an animation portfolio we can look at to which I responded with uh so I've I've never actually animated before but but I'm learning and honestly they shouldn't have hired me I wouldn't have hired me but somehow I had secured my first animation job and for my favorite YouTuber this was by far the biggest thing to ever happened to me at the time I wanted to make the best animation they could ever ask for now I just had to learn how to animate no joke I literally

typed how to animate an adobe flash tutorial into the YouTube search bar that's how I learned no class or school or nothing I vividly remember opening Adobe Flash for the first time and wishing I could just skip forward in time to when I already knew how to even use the program because I was so confused humble beginnings what can I say and honestly that's all it takes people ask me all the time how I learn to animate how I do this and that what program to use but you already have the biggest source of free

online information at your fingertips just type whatever you want to learn into the search bar and people will literally teach it to you no strings attached while working on the animation for Cupquake and her husband red I talked to them about how I also wanted to make YouTube videos that I wanted to animate little stories but was too nervous they were both really supportive and encouraging saying they'll put a link to my channel in the description of the animation to help me and stuff I'll be completely honest if Cupquake and Red didn't hire me and

offer to help give me that initial push to start a YouTube channel I wouldn't have made Jaden animations like I mentioned I was quiet and softspoken I didn't even get picked on because nobody knew anything about me to bully me with they had nothing in what world would a tiny little 16-year-old dust M of a girl feel confident enough to start an animation YouTube channel where she talks about her life especially for what would be a singled digigit amount of people for who knows how long I'll tell you she does it in a world where

she feels encouraged and inspired by the people she looked up to there's so many timelines where none of this ever happened so much had to come together just for me to start and Against All Odds it did I finished the animation they posted it and I spent pretty much the entire month reading every single comment everyone loved it it was doing really well I remember messaging Cupquake a giant stoppy thank you paragraph when the video hit a million views by the way the entire animation was made on only three layers because anymore would make my

brain confused I genuinely cannot believe they hired me at the same time I posted my very first video as Jaden animations introducing myself and announcing that I'm going to try out making animation videos it's funny looking back at because if you don't know all the context you'll watch my first video and be like who is this dumbass talking to she just started the channel there's no audience yet the shout out Cupquake gave me in the description gave me the Boost I needed to shake the second thought I gained 2 or 3,000 subscribers right out the

gate and ever since then I wanted to keep making more content and I was really really excited about it I made more animations for Cupquake for a couple years alongside posting my own stupid little videos until eventually parting ways with them to focus entirely on Jaden animations working with them was amazing and those animations did overwhelmingly well at the time like I look back and am still shocked I apparently pee with that damn 2014 FNAF animation come on Nuzlocke surpass it please free me from these shackles by this time I was in college now and

even though I wasn't able to post very much at all things were doing really well I remember sitting on the top of my dorm bunk secretly celebrating hitting 100,000 subscribers a milestone I was beyond thrilled about and honestly was my biggest goal at the time somehow my roommate ended up finding out about it and immediately told every single person on our floor which embarrassed the hell out of me but at the same time I was sheepishly proud of myself that people thought what I was doing was cool along with new experiences for the first time

ever I was making online friends and becoming part of a growing little animation Community Cypher Den Tony vun light sen I even stumbled on to James randomly after being recommended his ASMR video I specifically remember going through his channel and thinking I can't believe this guy doesn't have more subscribers he's so funny and well would you look at that after finishing my first year in college I ended up talking to my parents about taking a gap year to see where all this YouTube stuff could go they were of course hesitant at first making videos on

YouTube for money can you even do that but eventually agreed and have been my biggest fans ever since I was officially doing YouTube fulltime I don't really know what happened but a few months later James started started blowing up in our little animation group chat we were like wao James congrats what what's happening and he was like I don't know oh my God and then I started blowing up too and suddenly the entire storytime animation Community was rising and thriving it felt like we were strapped onto a rocket heading straight for the Stars people really

loved watching storytime animation we went to our first ever VidCon and there was a whole line of people that wanted to meet us which is a crazy experience for our first first convention ever since then everything has kind of just been history I kept posting obviously met new people made incredible friends started building my own animation team learned a lot about the world but most of all being on YouTube forced me to grow thicker skin I'm sure most of you can relate to some degree mindless hate online arguments people nitpicking and speculating that you're actually

a horrible human being because of how normalized posting content is now with Tik Tok and stagram Twitter YouTube I'm sure everyone has gotten their fair share of the hate Hammer but 10 years ago it was pretty much only big online personalities who were familiar with it and it comes at you pretty fast suddenly you have to figure out how to hide your personal information and tell family members to private their Facebook accounts which they don't know how to do scary emails come in uncomfortable comments lots of uncomfortable comments I got doxed one time because someone

speculated I was a narcissistic liar because I claimed to be shy and introverted but would get loud sometimes when reading scripts also fun fact I never planned on being public with my full name but the reason it got leaked is because my old high school published an online article about my channel and dropped the full government without my permission I'm still pissed about that one and I know this is genuinely what you just have to expect when you make content online it's awful but it's the truth I didn't want to quit so I adapted to

the horrible things a videos made about me for attention there's nothing a passer by hate comment can say that could surprise me anymore if anything they're all the same and it's just annoying at this point not saying I'm happy that I went through all of it and it should have happened people can be genuinely awful but I'd like to say I've come out of it all a version of myself that wouldn't have existed otherwise not because of all the shitty things but in spite of them I've learned how to stand up for myself grew my

confidence learned how to separate myself from my work and not take comments personally all things you learn out in the world over time as you grow up but crank to 100 and during the most insecure years of a person's life it was hard but hey I'm I'm still here aren't I I look back and see my mistakes bad takes stupid ideas regret here and there it's overwhelmingly stressful to grow up and learn and change while in the Public's eye even more now than ever but all things considered I believe I was always trying my best

in the position I was in with was constantly trying to be the best person I could be and I won't ever be upset at myself for that also I I do want to say a big thing that's followed me throughout almost my whole career at this point is the fact that yeah I've talked about mental health and things I've struggled with at the time like anxiety depression Rock Bottom confidence etc etc I've definitely spilled my guts out on the floor in front of the internet a couple times in my day and there's no part of

me that regrets it at all a lot of people have told me that they felt more understood or learned things about themselves through those videos but as a now adult that's had the time to grow and adapt and overcome these things man you guys kind of still think I'm a little bit pathetic I see comments all the time when I'm in my friends videos or being involved in a big event and so many people go wow I can't believe how far Jaden's come from being this puny little scared teenager I'm so proud of Jaden really

stepping out of her comfort zone here she is just so brave for showing her face after dealing with such low confidence that one's always funny because it can definitely come off like I should still be self-conscious which I'm not by the way I get what those comments are saying I really do but guys not everything I do has to be brave I'm just doing fun things with friends on camera we don't need the 24 s Jaden cheer squad busting out the trophies and medallions every single time and we also don't need the Jaden defense Squad

scrapping with anyone that says anything nonpositive about me it's the internet people have the right to not like me for whatever reason I promise it's okay I'm an adult I'm doing fine I appreciate the concern at this point it just comes across like I'm very pathetic and puny and can't do anything now somehow a decade has passed I'm not the Tini small 16-year-old who's afraid of everything and can't talk out loud for more than 15 minutes without straining her throat that's true by the way I spent 15 minutes recording audio for my first video and

my throat was dead afterwards it was pathetic now I can record for an hour which still hurts my throat you can probably hear it but that's a 400% Improvement right there I'm 26 created hundreds of hours worth of content have the most wonderful team in the world behind me I'm surrounded by Amazing Friends with the most important person in my life with the most important little creatures in my life I've gotten to meet content creators I've looked up to got to tour and travel the world with talented friends talk on panels to hundreds of people

who wanted to hear what I had to say been able to tell the people that inspired me how big of a role they've played in my career and even got to stand next to them as an equal I'm happy sure it's always been and still is difficult dealing with the stress of being in a big Spotlight I went through some bad stuff navigated Rocky mental health trusted people that hurt me had to pretend not to be affected by things that were genuinely hurtful just to not Empower people that wanted to see me break all while

in the eye of the public where one wrong step could crumble everything I've ever created but I'm really happy with the place I'm at the person I've become and the environment I've built around me so what's that leave me with now a full decade man damn 10 10 years of the most difficult enjoyable terrifying exciting stressful grateful Soul crushing unforgettably special moments of my life how lucky and grateful I am to have the privilege to say I've gotten to experience so many impossible things to have so many dreams created and come true to see myself

persist through such a difficult position to be in after taking a lot of time reminiscing and thinking about what could come next the direction I want to take to follow what could keep making me happy I've come to accept that YouTube isn't going to be part of it I'm happy with what I've accomplished I had my rise and grind years I experienced Real and True passion that's all I could really ask for here there's not much else I want to do Beyond it at this point but before you freak out I'm not quitting right this

moment I still absolutely love making content and still have the desire to keep making videos but my YouTube years are numbered now now I fantasize about logging off as Jaden animations and becoming a normal person again I want to move to a random ass town in a random ass place have a little house with my creatures have a normal job with normal hours and normal problems live a life where people don't know who I am before I introduce myself not saying I don't like being recognized you can come up to me I promise I don't

mind but eventually I just want to feel like a person again normal is rapidly changing nowadays but I don't want this chronically online lifestyle forever how nice it would feel to one day not have to triple check every single thing I say in fear of people's pitchforks or fear for my safety when people maliciously leak my private information or even be constantly surrounded by strangers opinions on me and every version of myself I've ever been every moment of my life I hold it all together pretty well I'd say I mean it's my job to and

none of these negatives have and ever will outweigh the positive aspects of this incredible opportunity that you guys have allowed me to have I don't want to come across like I'm complaining I very much understand this is just unfortunately part of it all and I'm very privileged and very grateful but I can't do it forever and I I don't want to I want to feel like I have the time and mental energy to pursue new hobbies experiment with other things that can make me happy making content for YouTube never leaves my head it's the case

for every single content creator on the platform there's no clocking out there's no weekends there's no breaks you can't just leave an office and not think about it you're constantly brainstorming ideas managing everything schedules employees sure you can work and live anywhere you want go on vacation at any point build your own schedule but it's always there like a black hole in your mind it's just so exhausting I haven't felt like I can sit back and enjoy something in 10 years because I simply do not have have the time if it isn't for a video

yeah that's just how self-employment works but don't forget about all the other fun stuff I've already mentioned on top of it all I don't know what I want to do career-wise after retiring from YouTube but I romanticize the idea of just getting to ReDiscover myself maybe I want to learn how to make custom plushes and open my own little shop take art commissions be a teacher maybe an art director it's gotten to the point where I think about that little life every day and I'm actively aing and walking towards it with every decision I make

oh let me tell you I genuinely cannot wait to live it one day but there's this other side of me that's so terrified I've spent my entire young adult life in front of an audience doing pretty much one thing I don't know what it's like to live without a platform surrounded by a huge audience anymore it scares me like a lot I don't want to need this but I'm scared that I do in some way when the time comes I'll definitely work on that fear and therapy or something but I I do think about it

a lot I'm not done with YouTube just yet I still want to make animations and tell stories animate little gaming videos I still just love it so much and I'm not going away just yet sorry to disappoint some of you I just wanted to let you guys know how grateful I am that you've helped me be right here I've gotten to meet hundreds of people who told me how much they liked my videos felt inspired discovered something about themselves even did something as small as laugh at one of my stupid ass jokes I can't wrap

my head around the idea that a lot of you grew up watching my videos and are like functioning people in society now that one always feels like I know you're not calling me old but you're calling me old I'm grateful for all the art people have drawn for me even now it's still so surreal from the cute little doodles from kids to jaw-dropping fully rendered pieces from artist of all ages like you guys are better artists than me at this point what do you mean I inspired you why does my art look like that then

the whole reason I show fan art at the end of my videos is because I look back at the feeling I got when Cupquake put my art in her videos and I want to be able to give that back to other artists people have told me they watch my videos to laugh listen to while working to feel better after a crummy day all the ways I used to consume YouTube back in my day even though it's easy for me to tell my myself they're just little stupid videos I make what what's a big deal it

kind of also feels like I get to contribute to a cycle I used to be on the other side of and pay it back I don't know it just feels good knowing I've made stuff that's made people feel better in a way that other content creators used to make me feel better I've rambled quite a bit but thank you for letting me make these silly videos for 10 years I never would have thought any of this could have happened to little old me and definitely not for the this long I absolutely thought I would have

been tossed aside and forgotten by now I look back at when things were starting to roll and I was like I've got like a 3year shelf life left I'm forever grateful for you my friends my family my team I don't know what my life would have looked like if I didn't type Minecraft into the YouTube search bar when I was 14 who knows how much more time we have with each other but just know it has been and still is an honor to be here and until then I'll be doing my best to keep doing

what I've been doing for 10 years and just make these silly little animations you know the timing is a little awkward to have just won a giant Mr Beast YouTuber challenge that put a lot of eyes on my channel only for the first thing for me to put out since winning is me talking about how I'm really tired and want to retire one day that was not intentional I'm sorry but yes the next video coming out will be about me uh winning the Mr Beast Cube we're still working on getting the money all set up

to be given away so you can stop emailing me asking for money it's not going to work like that anyway thank you to everyone who's been with me at any point of my YouTube career I've still got a little bit more juice left in the tank I'm forever lucky to have lived the life I have and to continue living that life and I appreciate you guys for sticking around I'm excited to spend a bit more time with you all so I'll see you in the next video bye-bye