Homepage Headline Makeovers: 3 Simple Formulas That Sell
23.73k views3088 WordsCopy TextShare
Wes McDowell
I don’t want to freak you out, but here’s an important statistic—
Visitors to your site spend about...
Video Transcript:
of all the individual elements that make up your website i would say that none is more important than your homepage headline right it's usually the first thing any new visitors see and it has a really big job to do in short it tells people whether or not they're even gonna bother sticking around and learning anything more so if you get it wrong and you don't give them a reason to stay your headlines the first and probably the last thing they're ever gonna see from your business so in this video i'm going to break down seven common homepage headline mistakes that i see all the time and how to fix them using three really simple formulas that i've developed over many years of creating websites for small businesses when you apply these formulas correctly you'll be super clear in communicating your real value and help pull people down your homepage where they can get all the rest of the info they need to convert into paying customers and at the end of the video i'm going to show you a really simple trick you can use to be super persuasive in your headline while still working in your seo keywords without having to compromise too much it's one of my favorite little known tactics that i think you're going to love so first of all let's talk about what makes for a really strong homepage headline the most important thing is it needs to paint a crystal clear picture of what you do and why that's something that your customers or clients need in other words you need to let them know what's in it for them and the other important thing to keep in mind here is your headline should be based on the biggest overall desire or problem that your ideal customer has so take this headline for example boston's number one crossfit gym does that tell people what they do yeah i'd say so does it say why it's important not really and does it address a problem or a desire that their clients are likely to have nope because here's the thing guys nobody's desire is a gym right their desire is to get in shape so i think this headline does a much better job get into the best shape of your life we're a crossfit studio specializing in group workouts that get you lasting results so notice what i've done here i've paired that headline with a sub headline so this is what i like to do about 99 of the time specifically i like to make a big bold statement with the main headline and then add more clarity and context with the sub headlines so another way of looking at it would be use your big headline to say what you do then the sub headline should say how you do it so for the rest of this video i'm going to quickly introduce you to my three headline writing formulas and then we're going to actually apply them to some real headlines that you guys have submitted from your own websites right here on youtube i basically picked out seven of them that each represent a common headline writing mistake that i see a lot so that you can see how we can take those mistakes and turn them into something way better using my simple formulas and you can use any of these right out of the box to get on the right track starting with the one i would say is the most powerful which is formula one show the transformation so this kind of headline works great if you're a business that actually does transform your customers life in a meaningful way like in our crossfit example or if you're an interior designer or a landscaper you know in that case you're transforming someone's home for the better so the message you basically want to use here is along the lines of we'll take you from blank to blank and don't worry i'm gonna have a great example of this for you in a few minutes okay formula two state the problem you solve so maybe you don't really make a transformation for your customers per se but you do solve a very real problem for them think of a locksmith or an attorney for example and formula 3 is what you can use when all else fails simply state what you do and why it matters because sometimes simplicity works great especially if those other two formulas just don't feel right for your business i will say though if you can possibly stress a transformation or a problem solved i would always stick to that that's always going to be more powerful than just saying what you do so now let's move on to those common mistakes that you'll definitely want to avoid in your headlines so we're going to look at each one of them and then i'll rewrite it using one of the formulas that i just went over so you can see it all in action for yourself okay so my first mistake is being mysterious so ronald milner submitted his site which is goboodle. com so let's take a look at this headline which reads your financial education starts right now now when you see this do you have a crystal clear picture about what this company does you know sure we do get that it has to do with the overall general realm of financial education but what does that mean right you know i had to do some serious digging around this website to figure it out and it turns out they do offer individual and group coaching teaching people basically how to manage their own investment portfolios so knowing that they transform their students into essentially their own money managers i think this is a natural fit for formula one so check out the headline and sub headline i wrote for boodle instead financial tips secrets and strategies to become your own money manager individual and group coaching workshops that teach you how to build manage and grow your portfolio and outperform 70 of money managers now i got a lot of those points right from their own website but they were buried you know these are things that need to be in your face as soon as somebody gets to your website so a little bit of mystery might be good on a first date but not on someone's first time on your homepage okay so the second headline mistake i see is too clever for your own good now clever writing isn't necessarily a bad thing on its on its own but it is when you're replacing a clear and persuasive message with you know word play that doesn't really say anything important i got a submission from cam a fellow chicagoan who submitted her site beautifuldesign. com so let's take a look at her headline which reads it's a beautiful day in the neighborhood now this is very cute and all and it does go on to strike a comparison between what she's all about as a designer to what mr rogers was all about on his show but all of that i would say is probably better off going on to an about page instead of the home page because this statement on its own doesn't tell me anything about what you do or the difference you make for your clients so again i had to scour the site for elements that i could use in a much more direct headline that still felt like it kept your voice intact so here's what i came up with for cam we'll turn what makes you special into what makes you memorable logo and branding campaigns designed to connect you with your best customers now this is another example of formula one where we emphasize the transformation so we're going to make you and your business memorable then in the sub headline we say how we're gonna do that through your logo and your branding connecting you with your customers okay now our next mistake is being the copycat now i'm not talking here about plagiarizing word for word you obviously don't want to do that that goes without saying but what i'm talking about here is more just using a headline that looks and feels all too familiar just because everyone else more or less is saying the same basic thing in other words it falls into that realm of cliche and the problem with headlines like this is that if they've heard it all before many times it's going to just go in one year and out the other and your chances of being remembered at that point are pretty slim to none so this next example was submitted by earnest and his website is webernest.
com and his headline says boosting brands through digital design need a website or brand identity that helps you grow your business now is this bad no it's not bad it's just an idea and wording that just about every digital agency is using so if you're going to tell people that your designs are going to boost their business you need to be more specific about that and i think i want to use formula 2 to fix this one so remember formula 2 tells the problem you solve so what i came up with is a pretty website isn't enough to get results for your business we specialize in websites that go well beyond design alone with a focus on clear messaging seamless user experience and solid customer attraction strategies notice how this headline paints a picture of the problem you know you want real results but a pretty website won't help but we can help and then here's how okay our next mistake is one i see a lot because we all know our own niche in our own industry so well we can tend to talk over their head using either inside jargon or techno babble right so adam siepker submitted his website orchidchat. com so let's see the before headline build customer confidence conversions satisfaction using our peer-to-peer chat now i do know a lot about digital marketing and this one threw me a little bit because i was confused by the overall concept here and i think that's just because this is such a new idea right what they offer is a chat feature that you put on your website but with a twist rather than the chat going to you and your team your future customers are put into contact with past customers letting them get on the chat and do the selling for you which is a really cool idea but because it's so new it needs a really clear explanation so in this case i opted to be super direct with formula number three where we just flat out say what we do and why that's a good thing so the new headline says live chat that connects your website visitors with your happiest customers and then i just kept the subheading exactly the same because i think this all works very well together so by replacing that semi-technical jargon of saying peer-to-peer chat and just saying what it does i think people are going to get the gist much quicker okay moving right along to our next mistake leaving him hanging now i love me an intriguing question or a big bold statement headline but if it's going to work it needs to resolve itself with some actual clarity and guess what people are not going to scroll down the page to get that clarity and figure it out so it needs to all happen in that headline and sub headline and sue smith submitted her site emergingadultcounseling. com and her headline simply reads are you ready for adulting a great question and this would work amazingly well if it went a little further and let us in on what she means so this is kind of like a joke without a punch line so i actually don't even want to replace this headline so much as just add to it so keeping the exact same headline i'm just going to add the sub headline that says individual counseling support groups and group classes teaching young adults to overcome anxiety and the critical skills to thrive in the adult world now again i had to do some digging around the website to figure out that this is what they actually do and a lot of this verb is just taken right from the site itself so this is a great example of formula one again where we emphasize the transformation that we make for our clients in this case through our counseling support groups and classes we're going to be transforming young adults into full-on adults by teaching them all the skills that they need to cope and thrive okay so remember all those inspirational posters that used to be really popular back and i think it was in the 90s actually this still does live on today you just have to search inspirational quotes on instagram and you'll have all the platitudes you can handle and while these might get you some attention on instagram vague platitudes are a surefire myth when it comes to home page headlines so john ting sent in his website immigration law firm houston.
com along with his headline which starts with your life changes here now while this may be accurate and we do actually get a clear picture about what they do with the rest of the headline it all just feels a bit clunky to me so let's see what we can do about it and focus this into something much more solid and i think formula two is gonna be best here emphasizing the problem that they solve so what about immigration issues can be complicated we make it easy whether you need a green card or a visa our skilled attorneys will guide you through the entire immigration process safely to the other side so we very clearly laid out what the problem is which is complicated immigration issues and we make the claim that we make it easy then clarify that by letting them know we're a law firm specializing in green cards and visas and it will guide them through the entire process okay now what about the headline that isn't really even interested in making an impression on your prospects but has a much more utilitarian purpose instead i am talking about something that i see way too often which is the obvious seo play and i get it you want to get people to your site and optimizing your website for google searches seems like a layup right but the problem is once you start digging into what you need uh to be doing to make seo work for you you get a lot of advice that tells you to put your keywords in your headline and put your city name in there too and then maybe put the city next door in too and before you know it you've got a headline that's a bit of a mess it's clunky and it has zero persuasion power so i actually got quite a few submissions that i would put in this category but let's take a look at pharaohpest.