Wife Demanded a Divorce for Her Wealthy Lover, But Then He Lost Everything and She Wanted Me Back...

wife demanded a divorce for her wealthy lover but then he lost everything and she wanted me back at 32m married to my wife 27f for almost 6 years now we've been together for 8 years and 3 months we are living together for 7 years now it was in my opinion always great I really feel like we were the perfect couple we both have a car good jobs stable finances and we bought a house 5 years ago February 2022 I unfortunately very unexpectedly lost my mother to a heart attack what followed were very rough months for

me but also for my wife who was also very close to my mother and by rough I mean really rough in 6 months time we only went out like two times we always stayed and just relaxing on the couch and chilling watching TV I wasn't due to circumstances happy but I expected we would get through this dday as I see everyone call it was 5 weeks ago my wife went out drinking with three male friends from work about 5 minutes away from our house I was like okay cool but I'm going to bed soon middle

of night 03030 she came home with the three guys I know all of them and said she was going out in the city with them I didn't like it but couldn't stop her everything closes at 4:00 but even though it's a 15-min ride she came home at 5:30 that's when my suspicions began even though before this night I never mistrusted her today 4 weeks ago she left the entire Sunday said she was going to some Carnival with her mom I did not trust it but what can you do she even left without saying goodbye while

I was taking a shower later that day when she came home she entered our house crying my first response was honey come hear what happened did something happen what's got you so upset her literal first words at that moment were I want a divorce after that we talked a bit about it both very emotional I straight up asked her if she cheated but she said no she told me she's been unhappier for a longer period of time and hence the divorce she literally never told me something was wrong with our relationship so this came as

a complete shock to me anyway after the talk she left and she lives at her mom's house now 4 days later I saw her again because we had a dog for which I alone cannot take care of and neither can she at her mom's house so our dog stays at an aunt's house now anyway because I saw her I confronted her about cheating again and this time she admitted it she told me she cheated on me for the entire week since she went drinking until the week later when she left home she said she thinks

she is in love with him I asked what's so great about him and the only thing she says is yes we have a good connection /s spark so that's it I suppose she also said she feels like she is going through some sort of midlife crisis doesn't know what to do with her life doesn't know what she wants in my opinion she's going crazy she died don't know if this is the correct word sorry her hair purple and all out of nowhere she signed up for lessons to drive a motorcycle the first week or maybe

two weeks after I tried reconciling if that's the right word but she wouldn't budge every serious message I sent her get straight up ignored casual messages I do get a reply on but it short responses with arrogance I guess I seriously do not recognize my wife anymore her personality seems to have changed in literally one weak time she is treating me as if I never existed in her life and like I'm some piece of garbage is this some kind of defense mechanism to make it easier for her pushing her problems towards the future or could

it be she really changed and feels this way now how on Earth is this possible I mean I know falling in love is an awesome feeling but what happens with her in a few months when the honeymoon phase with this guy is over and she really wakes up from it all I've been experiencing a lot of mixed feelings really a lot I resent her for the fact she cheated on me and I'm really really disappointed but I also realize and know that the fundament basis of our marriage was always great from D-Day to today we

are 5 weeks further she is is still not officially filed for divorce and neither I have L I'm not sure but I'm fairly certain she is still seeing the guy she cheated on me with to be honest at this moment I'm torn between wanting to save our marriage and just ending at this moment I honestly do not care if we get back together or if we divorce so I honestly don't know what to do if I file for divorce now I might regret this in the future for being too fast I suppose but I also

cannot keep living in this sort of limbo in which I officially still married but she already left edit the first 4 days after she left I was still not sure whether whether she was cheating on me or not those days were the absolute worst because yes those days I felt extremely guilty and felt like I messed it up but after she admitted the cheating those feelings started to fade away and even though I might be to blame somewhere our marriage ending is 100% her fault she never showed me she wasn't happy she looked happy popu

would make a good actress she never talked about being unhappy and what should change and then to top at all she cheated and continues to do so this is done I do not anymore believe there is a way back from this also at the moment I do not even miss her sure sometimes I still miss who and what we were as a couple but this woman she's become honestly I almost feel sorry for the next guy whose heart she is and evitably going to break honestly my mom's passing I'm dealing with quite well of course

I have other concerns Etc at this moment but still I was really just getting out of the down and crawling back up wanting to go Outdoors have drinks have fun ride my motorcycle Etc but yes then she cheated and kicked me back in the Ravine sort of speak it'll be fine with time must admit I am really not looking forward to to the holidays no Mom no wife my dad is alone after 40 years of marriage but we'll deal with it life goes on and on luckily I do have a very sweet sister and a

very good group of friends who I've known for over 20 years I am nowhere near ready to dive into single life again but somewhere I'm also a bit excited it's been more than 8 years since I dated more than 8 years since I've gone out without or without checking with my partner of course I fell as deep as possible this year but I truly believe there are good times to come one of the redditor is absolutely right about us marrying too young I was 26 When we married she was 21 I haven't changed all that

much in those years but it might indeed be that she has changed a lot and suppressed those feelings for a long time note she herself said she feels like she has a mid-life crisis those are not my words but hers to go a bit more in depth about Mutual interests Hobbies traits Etc all I said in the post is that we had a stable life I didn't go in depth because I didn't think it would matter all that much and besides the post is already quite long but here goes hobbies and interest interests we both

like gaming but we actually never play together at the moment I'm into Age of Empires 4 playing on my PC and then she would play The Witcher on PS4 we both liked watching a good Netflix show especially since mom died we did that a lot but even before that we both rather stayed in together to watch a good movie instead of going out drinking we did occasionally go out to the cinema pooling in a procs once or twice a month we went out for dinner we both like motorcycles I have my license and a bike

she did not she always loved sitting on the backseat of the bike riding passenger when she was young her dad also took her on rides on his bike but apparently now she also wants her own license and bike did not know we both like spending time with our families usually every other Sunday we would hang out at either her mom's plus stepdad her dad plus stepmom or at my father's house we like driving to some nice nature and forests and took our dog with us and going for walks personality traits I liked how impulsive she

could be well apparently she's too impulsive but okay I sometimes overthink things too much thinking thinking about whether we should buy it taking into consideration if we really like it how our finances are at that moment Etc she would just buy it in a snap or book that vacation I was having doubts about I really like that on this we are complete opposites I realize I think she does loved her humor we really had slash have an amazing connection with humor we have exactly the same dry corny humor and we always had fun together I

loved her honesty and how straightforward she always was until thing went downhill she would always tell me how she felt what she liked and didn't like for example about 4 years ago I got addicted to a video game I at that time didn't notice I was doing anything wrong but after a few weeks she told me I wasn't making her happy and I really had to put more attention towards her in our relationship which I did I then cut down the gaming to a bare minimum bro I love the way she talks the way she

walks the way she laughes I love her looks she has an amazing crap I loved it that when she sneezes it's always 8 to 10 sneezes in a row but as off right now all those feelings I had slash have are rapidly fading away as for our s life I can be pretty short we didn't have S all that much I'd say an average of two times per month since we were married in my opinion it was always good though not sure about her opinion on the matter now that I'm thinking of it we always

both climaxed unless she faked but I don't think so but the S itself wasn't all that exciting we'd usually do the same three to four poses and that's it update one Okay so yesterday I made some calls in the Netherlands we have something called a mediator they handle all aspects of divorce so this mediator does the lawyers work Financial emotional talk Etc it's like an all-in-one kind of person that helps two people with arranging the divorce today we had the talk with this mediator unfortunately my soon to bex's car broke down so I had to

pick her up and yes I really had to for this all to work and get the divorce through this mediator it is crucial that both me and my soon to Bex are at the meetings with him anyway talk went pretty good in the way I expected we both expressed our feelings about wanting to get divorced but the infidelity was never mentioned this mediator is neutral and does not pick side so I did not think it was worth mentioning also in the Netherlands we have no laws against cheating she still has the same rights that she

would have had if she did not cheat so after the mediator left we are still sitting together at the table barely talking only distraction we have is from our cats running around so after a few minutes I asked her have anything left to say to which her response was no so I said okay then I think you can go now because I don't want you here okay can you take me home I said no how you're getting home is your own problem I am not in the mood to drive 30 minutes taking you home after

this she looked a bit emotional I think she expected me to drive her home as normally in the past I did everything for her so after that she called her mom who's picking her up in about an hour from now she is out of the house now she said I'm going to take a walk for about an hour until mom gets here to pick me up while she left she still looked hurt and visibly emotional but while I'm staying strong I still notice a lot of strange behavior on her part and I think she is

still in the affair fog despite everything I still love her for who she was but for now I'm staying strong and I'm treating her as if she means nothing to me and edit actually as of right now she doesn't mean anything to me she simply is not the woman anymore that I loved and was loyal to edit I have a question but it requires a bit of backstory I've worked as a driver at a Transport company let's call it super trans for 11 years 4 months ago I quit that job and started a new job

at another Transport company I got my ww a job at this superr about 1.5 years ago she works at the office there I was a driver I also know her AP as he works in the warehouse at Super trans because I've worked there for 11 years I also know everyone that works at Super tr's office everyone liked me and I was best friends with some of the dispatch guys as far as I know my previous co-workers her current co-workers do know that we are getting divorced but as far as l no no one knows that

she at slash has an affair with ap who works in their warehouse my ww direct cooworker who works at the desk next to her is a gay 32-year-old guy who was also present at the night out when my wife cheated I will call him Thomas he left early though he was one of my favorite people at their office and he also liked me a lot my ww has vacation now and will start working again next Monday I know Thomas likes me a lot and would wish only the best for me I'm now very strongly thinking

about sending a message to Thomas explaining what happened and all and also revealing the affair to him of course I want to tell him just to warn him that my wife has no morals and cannot be trusted I mean Thomas has to work with her every day I want him to know what kind of person my ww is and I also intend to tell him about who the AP is because Thomas was also going out with them the night ww cheated so I want Thomas to know how big off a crap without morals the AP

is and yes I do realize this may seem like I want to take some sort of Revenge and I suppose I do this woman has put me through hell a few weeks ago I would love to hear about her having a crap day at work next Monday because all her co-workers know she betrayed me and has an affair for real everybody liked me I've known most of her office for plus 10 years besides I get to decide who I tell about her cheating and who not so okay basically this isn't a question I wanted to

ask should I do this but I think think I've already made up my mind would like to hear what yall think about it and why I should or shouldn't update to you all have been an amazing help in my situation I must admit I'm feeling very tired mentally but apart from that I'm doing better than I would have expected after only 6 weeks I have a question about my soon to be ex-wife's current behavior is it normal that my wife soon to be ex treats everyone around her like trash well except for her AP and

her own parents I suppose she is obviously treating me bad she is treating me with zero respect and as if I was the worst husband ever she claims she's been unhappy for several years which I believe is complete crap anyway to be honest I don't care about what she's doing to me anymore it's her life she's destroying not mine but it's also affecting other people my father sent her the sweetest message he had ever sent in his entire life and she didn't even reply with a thank you just nothing after my mom passed last February

my wife would regularly take my dad to an amusement park that's close by they both have subscriptions for it so they could go quite often my dad really loved her a lot and I'm watching him age by the hour now which really hurts me and my soon to be ex-wife doesn't even send a thank you nothing at all she left him on re she was also and said she wanted to remain very good friends with my younger sister but they haven't been in touch for several weeks also my wife was supposed to spend a day

today with her best friend who is a mutual friend of ours but now she is ignoring her her best friend sent several messages to her yesterday If today was still on but wife sent no reply didn't even read her messages she also didn't pick up the phone so today they were supposed to meet same story she doesn't pick up the phone her BFF sent one more message asking if she was still coming no reply she didn't even read the messages while her WhatsApp status shows she's been online after she sent them needless to say her

BFF has been crying all day she took the day off to spend with my wife to go shopping and having fun and now this is this in any way normal behavior for someone in a fair fog or could this be something else I don't care what my wife is doing I'm done with her but this is just so incredibly sad for her BFF she's been crying on her couch all freaking day because my wife wife treats her like this while I'm typing all this another question comes to mind but I think I already know the

answer my soon to be ex-wife is going around telling people we split up because we grew apart and she hasn't been happy for several years I suppose this actually is normal for a cheater to tell everyone excuses and not being honest about what happened and how they fell in love with someone else oh I almost forgot something that I believe is really important her BFF our mutual friend actually lived with us for about 6 months from about November 2021 until April 2022 she just got out off a really bad relationship and had nowhere to stay

we have a spare room so we took her in anyway my wife and BFF literally talking about everything including our relation in s life everything I speak to her BFF every day and she has been super sweet and totally honest with me I asked her if any of what my wife said could be true about not being happy with me for a longer period of time BFF says it's all lies never has my wife ever spoken about it or said a single word to her about being unhappy with me and keep in mind they told

each other everything but not a single word about being unhappy so either my soon to be ex-wife is just blatantly lying now I don't know why maybe to justify her cheating on me and abandoning our marriage or perhaps she kept her unhappy feelings a secret for literally everyone except herself I honestly don't know but from my experience I never noticed her unhappy with me and BFF also agrees with his many thanks again everyone the support is amazing and I would not have been where I am now if it wasn't for your support edit well I

sincerely hope karma is going to hit her hard rather sooner than later also every one that's reaching out to me about why we are getting a divorce I tell the truth about her being a selfish cheater just yesterday a female friend showed me texts between my wife and her the conversation went something like oh my God honey is it truth you and husband are separated yes sadly this is the truth oh my God no what happened yeah well we just grew apart for the last few years and have different goals in life we decided to

end it needless to say I corrected this and told our friend this is not truth I told her my wife cheated on me fell in love she claims and left me for another man everyone that hears the truth from me is shocked by the way no one including me would have ever thought my wife would do this update 3 we'll make a new Post in a few weeks I think for now I'm okay once I realized she is out there living her life without me I started doing the same I talked to my soon to

be ex-wife several times and the conclusion seems to be she still loved me but it wasn't fun anymore not strange since my mom unexpectedly died in February she claims to be in love with ap but with no strings attached I never noticed anything about her being unhappy with me and she even said she was not unhappy with me but with life in general so basically what I believe happened is she cheated got feelings for AP and left me for him after that became clear I made the choice to let her go and focus on myself

at this point I honestly don't care about what she's doing and whether she'll come back or not I'm fine either way work is going great I joined a gym to which I've been going three times a week my muscles hurt and I've been talking to this amazing girl which I knew from childhood and even though it's only friendship I really glad glad to have a female friend with whom I can talk about it all she lost her dad last year so even on the topic of losing a parent we can relate so yeah I'm okay

as for the divorce we had to gather a lot of documents and they have been sent to this mediator we are now waiting to hear back from him to schedule our next meeting and proceed with the divorce as of right now I've already made the decision that the divorce is happening if soon to be ex-wife comes back or not divorce is going to happen because the marriage itself is over for sure update 4 we are going to sign our divorce papers and make it official 4 days today this is going to be a long post

as I haven't updated for about 4 months well I made some mistakes along the run and also made some moves that got me my power back and made me respect myself again for starters I can say that now 5 months after the end tie and the initial shock I hardly even think about the cheating anymore or I'm affected by it so for anyone going through a rough time please trust me it does get better and time really is on your side so after the cheating and our breakup I made mistakes I begged and pleaded got

mad frustrated and really felt totally out of control and as if she had lost her mind this lasted for about 2 months unfortunately after this period I made the decision to quit the whining I told her I thought about everything a lot and came to the conclusion that I would still be open to seeing her and talking to her that I thought there might still be a future for us but I also told her I couldn't guarantee anything I have not contacted her myself for the last 3 months at least not about casual stuff or

the relationship the only things I reached out about were things regarding our upcoming divorce slf Financial SL Mutual house I did not just sit around and wait during the last 3 months I am now 32 years old and for the first time in my life I went to the gym to work out muscle building to be exactly as I have always been on the skinny side I have been hitting the gym with full discipline I train four times a week and have been doing so for the last 3 months I am also seeing an increase

in my muscle and Aesthetics but this goes further not only does the gym better my physical appearance it also helps mentally at first I started working out to keep myself busy and distracted but now 3 months in I look better and I feel a lot better about myself I am regaining a level of confidence I didn't even knew I had So Pro tip of the day when you're going through a rough time the gym really does seem to work both physically and mentally regarding our mutual house I spoke with the bank and I am able

to lend extra money and take on a higher mortgage I have to pay my ex-wife about 65k for the house but I am able to and I will do it after signing everything and paying her I will be 100% the owner of the mutual house which is worth about 300K I am not too happy about having to pay her 65k but in the long run I am way better of by owning my own house which is worth about five times that amount on top of that she has no own house anymore she officially lives with

her mom again but I know she's also staying at ap's house a lot I am not contacting her so how do I know I'll get to that my ex and me have a mutual friend we never hang out all together but we do speak regularly as far as I know ex left me to be with ap and basically jumped straight into a new relationship I'm not sure what's going on with my ex and at times it does seem she actually has lost her mind I try to keep my mind away from her but sometimes the

mind wanders where it shouldn't go also at this moment I suppose I could call AP by the name BF because that's basically what he is now however I will stick to AP because that's how it started anyway about AP and ex-wife karma is a and it's starting to hit hard when X and AP first got together 5 months ago all seemed fine for them however tables are beginning to turn AP is currently at home struggling with a depression which I know for a fact because the mutual friends showed me screenshots of a conversation between ex-wife

and her also the AP is currently out of a job even when everything first happened with the cheating and all I always felt better than AP just because of his lack of morals and I already had the believe he was worthless compared to me well now I know for sure which once again makes me feel like my ex-wife has lost her mind I am not being arrogant but I am absolutely sure that I am the catch and a way better man than her AP is little extra at the start of their relationship I was still

contacting her and warned her well guess I was right all along not only does he prove himself to be the loser I already kind of knew he was he also brought something into her life that can devastate at her she is basically digging her own grave AP introduced her to hard meds I know this through the mutual friend haven't talked to ex-wife about it if she wants to ruin her own life that's her business but it seems to be going downhill fast as for my ex-wife I am certain she is struggling and possibly even doubting

her own choices I hadn't spoke to her or seen her during the holidays Christmas new years's however about one week into the new year 2023 she out of the blue texted me if I was home and if she could come over she came over to my house and the visit was short really only about 5 minutes she came by to tell me she spend Christmas day alone sobbing she wanted to know how my holidays had been and she asked me how I was doing I told her my Christmas was okay but not the greatest I

lost my mom last year and these were the first holidays without mom so of course it was just okay but not all that great but I did tell her I was doing great which I actually am so yes for me this was weird the only thing I can think about this whole visit and why would she care how I'm doing is if she perhaps does have regrets time will tell I also spoke to my ex's mom ex-mother-in-law called me after New Years to wish me a happy New Year and to wish me all the best

I must admit I did not expect that call but it was nice to hear from her because she was family for the last 8 years mother-in-law told my ex-wife hasn't been all that great lately apparently she is very sad and crying a lot mourning the marriage ex even said to mother-in-law I wish it wouldn't have to be like this and once again this implies to me that she is having second thoughts however only my ex has the power to reach out and make a move which at this point I don't see happening anymore the only

Power I really have is to give her the divorce she herself asked for and walk away and stay out of her life which I did I am removing myself from her life giving her the divorce and bettering myself every single day apologies for the long post but I believe this is about everything I needed to get off my chest 4 days from now we are signing the divorce papers and even though I am really doing great of course I am still only human and from time to time still mourn our marriage and my ex-wife I

hate to see what has become of her but I am also fully aware that it is out of my control and absolutely not my problem let me this by once again thanking everyone in this community many thanks without your help I wouldn't have been where I am now both mentally and physically