Why It Sucks to Be Born as an Axolotl

you break out of the egg and immediately realize two things one the water is a lot colder than you thought it would be and two there are about 300 siblings wriggling around you all of them bumping into everything and each other it's chaos and no one seems to know what they're doing your parents are long gone nobody's here to teach you anything so good luck figuring it out you float for a moment trying to make sense of things when a sibling comes at you like they're about to say hello nope they're checking if you're edible

that's when you figure out the first rule of Life stay invisible or your dinner you swim into a clump of plants and stay put trying to be as unnoticeable as possible welcome to the world eventually hunger kicks in you need food but you have zero idea what you're doing a tiny worm wriggles past you lunge at it mouth open like you're some sort of apex predator and Miss by a solid mile the worm doesn't even notice you try again miss another try Miss honestly it's embarrassing on the fourth attempt you finally manage to catch it

it's Wiggly slimy and not exactly a gourmet meal but it'll do victory is yours barely you keep hunting but it's very Hit or Miss mostly Miss every now and then something small enough to eat comes by and you give it your best shot sometimes you catch it and sometimes you just look ridiculous snapping at empty water you're not proud of it but at least you're figuring it out you spend the rest of your time hiding in the shadows wedged between plants trying not to get noticed a sibling swims by and snaps up a worm like

it's nothing you consider snapping at them just to send a message but they decide against it that's the kind of energy you don't have right now a few weeks in you've grown you're faster stronger and smarter you don't just float anymore you move with purpose you know when to wait when to strike and when to stay still you hunt worms larvae and anything small enough to fit in your mouth you don't miss as often now you're getting good at this you leave the plants more often the Open Water isn't as scary as it used to

be the food is better out here you spot a small shrimp and kick forward catching it on the first try you eat quickly and look around nothing moves you venture further scanning for more food then you see it a heron it lands in the water nearby it's long legs slicing through the surface as it moves closer you freeze pressing yourself against the bottom the Heron stops its head turning as it scans the water you don't move it takes a step closer its beak darting into the water to snap at something you stay where you are

it moves again and now it's right above you you see its long Shadow stretch over the lake bed as it freezes staring down the beak plunges into the water you kick hard darting to the side the Heron follows stabbing at the water again and again you zigzag kicking as fast as you can it's close its beak slicing just behind you you aim for the plants and push harder slipping between the stems the Heron's beak stabs into the plants rustling the water around you you press deeper into the cover curling yourself tight against a stem the

Heron Waits it doesn't move neither do you it takes another step its long legs Rippling the water it stabs at the plants again shaking the stems around you you hold still your gills barely moving after a long moment the Heron steps back it stands there waiting before finally turning and waiting for further down the shallows you don't move you wait until it's far away it's Shadow long gone when you finally slip out the light has dimmed the day is almost over you stay close to the plants for the rest of the day you don't risk

the Open Water again not yet a couple of months in and you've turned into a proper little Predator worms and larvae aren't enough anymore you're hunting small fish now lunging at anything that gets too close you're getting good at it or at least you think you are one day while stalking a small fish you spot movement ahead not a predator it's familiar it's that sibling the one who was showing off earlier snapping up worms like they had some kind of cheat code you both freeze you stare at each other for a moment and then without

warning you both charge you lunge forward and snap at them they snap back it's a mess neither of you is landing any hits but you're both going at it like your lives depend on it you wiggle toward them snapping wildly they wiggle back snapping just as wildly it's less of a fight and more like two drunk noodles bumping into each other at one point they bump your Gill and you Flinch so dramatically that it almost feels like a win for them almost you try snapping at their tail but they Dart Out Of Reach they try

snapping at your side but miss completely for a solid few minutes it's just the two of you flailing at the water taking breaks to stare each other down like you're about to say what exactly are we even doing finally your sibling decides they've had enough they flick their tail and swim off all casual like they weren't just flailing at you like a lunatic you follow them for a few seconds just to make sure they know you're still the boss obviously before turning back to the hunt it wasn't much of a fight but you still feel

a little Triumph iant next time maybe you'll actually win for now you focus on catching your next Meal which will definitely be smaller and far less complicated than your sibling you've survived your first year and you're no longer the smallest thing in the lake that's a win but the real accomplishment claiming your own little patch of territory it didn't just fall into your lap you had to earn it it started when you found a perfect spot plenty of plants for cover a decent supply of worms and larvae and enough space to stretch out without bumping

into anything or anyone but of course it wasn't unoccupied one of your siblings had gotten there first they floated near the plants acting like they owned the place you stared at them and they stared back then you puffed out your gills just enough to look a little bigger and swam toward them like you meant business you didn't snap or charge just a slow deliberate move like you were daring them to stick around they hesitated flicked their tail and started to back off you kept coming steady and calm until they turned and bolted no fight no

flailing just you giving them the don't even try it treatment once they were gone you settled into your new territory it's not much but it's yours your own little corner of the lake with food cover and enough space to hunt without anyone getting in your way you Patrol it regularly just in case anyone else gets ideas but so far no one's dared to come back you hunt you rest you keep an eye out for anything that doesn't belong the lake hasn't changed it's the same as it's always been Shadows food danger but in your little

patch you're in charge for now that's all you need by the time you're 2 years old you've officially made it to adulthood you're done growing but that doesn't matter you've got everything you need sharp hunting skills sharper instincts and just enough experience to know when to fight and when to swim away as fast as possible spoiler most of the time swimming away is the Smart Choice then one day something feels off it's mating season you don't know how you know this but you do everything feels different more urgent more competitive it's like the entire Lake

got a memo and now everyone's acting like they have something to prove if you're a male you start patrolling your territory more aggressively you puff out your gills at every shadow just in case it's someone trying to challenge you most most of the time it's nothing occasionally it's a worm you don't care you've got to look intimidating then finally you spot her a female she's calmly swimming through your territory like she doesn't even notice your effort to look cool you kick forward casually cutting her off you both pause she looks at you like she's sizing

you up you flare your gills and do a little circle trying to show off your best angles she doesn't seem impressed you try snapping at the water to prove you're a top tier Hunter she turns slightly as if debating whether to swim away you panic and freeze eventually after what feels like hours she flicks her tail and swims deeper into your territory success probably if you're a female you've got it easier you don't need to patrol or perform you just casually cruise through the lake while males trip over themselves to impress you one Puffs out

his gills so hard he looks like he might explode another awkwardly circles you bumping into a rock halfway through one particularly ambitious male snaps at a worm misses and plays it off like it was intentional you're not impressed eventually you pick the least embarrassing option do your part and swim off to lay your eggs in a safe spot parenting not your problem they'll figure it out like you did if you're the male you feel triumphant for about 5 seconds then she's gone and you're left swimming in circles wondering if that went as well as you

thought it did you go back to patrolling your territory like nothing happened but deep down you feel kind of proud Mating Season doesn't last long but it's exhausting by the end of it you're back to hunting hiding and avoiding Predators acting like it was all no big deal but still you did it you've officially contributed to the next generation of awkward Wiggly aelott who will go through the same thing someday you can only hope they'll be slightly better at flirting than you were probably not though few years later you're swimming through the water doing what

you've done a thousand times before hunting moving scanning the lake for food nothing unusual just another day you spot a small worm drifting nearby you pause watching it wriggle lining up your next meal then it happens something slams into you from behind hard and fast you don't even have time to turn there's a crushing pressure and before you can react Darkness you're swallowed hole just like that it's over the tilapia swims off calm and unbothered disappearing into the MC somewhere nearby another Axel is hunting completely unaware the lake keeps moving it always does