The Disturbing Side of Reddit [4]

hello once again and welcome to the disturbing side of Reddit life is a gift we each navigate it with hopes dreams and the occasional curveball that shape who we are but what if your entire existence was defined by a singular purpose to sustain the life of another the following post shared in the raised by narcissists subreddit shows a user and their unique experience as a savior sibling for their terminally ill sister battling Fone anemia Fone anemia for those who may not know is a rare genetic disorder that primarily affects bone marrow leading to a decrease in production of all types of blood cells the disorder can manifest in various ways and severity levels and it often requires ongoing Medical Care and treatments such as blood transfusions and bone marrow transplants to manage its effect I'm using a friend's account because my older brother knows my Reddit username I don't think all parents that have donor babies are narcissists yes it's pretty selfish to Bear a child just to use them as a cure but I've seen a lot of parents with terminally ill children and usually they're just desperate any parent can lose their senses when their kid is dying mine especially my mother however was straight up narcissists and crazy too so sometime in preschool my sister was diagnosed with fanone anemia she was going to need transplants and neither of my parents nor my older brother's tissue was compatible with her so they had another baby I wasn't a cherry-picked test tube baby I was conceived by regular intercourse so there was no guarantee that I was going to be a viable donor but I happened to be a match I wish I wasn't first it was my bone marrow I don't even remember it I was a toddler I do remember though that my entire life revolved around being a tissue donor I was not allowed to play sports I can't risk injury because who knows when my sister's going to need a part of my body I couldn't eat a cookie or anything that's not vegetables or fruits or tofu or chicken breast I had to maintain impeccable health so my organs or blood or whatever would be ready for Harvest at any given time I wasn't allowed to take any medicine because my sister might need emergency surgery any time so how could I let drugs stream through my veins my mom actually made a huge scene when when a school nurse gave me Tylenol for my headache no summer camps can't risk going far away from my sister but nothing really happened for years my sister seemed all right so I thought she was just paranoid but then there was renal failure I think the doctors explained why my sister's kidneys failed at one point but I don't remember I was 12 and didn't understand any of the medical terms no one cared to talk me into it or even help me understand what's going on as a child I didn't get to make my own medical decision and if my parents said I'm doing it that's all they ever needed I just knew I had to have surgery being cut open to have my organ extracted and being in hospital for weeks was a lot for a 12-year-old to go through naturally I was going to complain about it but whenever I seemed remotely unhappy about the whole thing my mom bashed me and treated me like a coldblooded psychopath who wanted her sister dead my mom's craziness drove relatives and neighbors away the incident with the school nurse and her threatening to sue the school and stuff made the School faculty secretly hate me too I had no friends because I couldn't participate in after school activities or go to birthday parties because there are cakes my dad buried himself at work to escape from my crazy mother and this whole depressing situation my brother was always either playing video games for hours or sneaking into the wine cell to get in intoxicated at least my parents compensated him for their absence with money he had what all teenagers dreamed of unlimited credit cards and parents who don't care I'm not saying my brother had it easy but he wasn't the one whose kidney was taken away at least he had money and time to play with and lots of phony friends though they only liked him for having loose parents hence a place where they can do anything and money I literally got nothing nobody to on I studied like a monster I figured that if I graduate high school early then I could go to college early and I could get away from this whole thing sooner well I have never been so wrong my mother actually forged rejection letters from the universities far away so I'd have no choice but to go to school in my area my school required all freshman to live in the dorm but my mother somehow made them make an exception I guess she she needs to be there for her terminally ill sister is a good enough reason to bend the rules when I was 19 my sister developed a liver tumor and she needed a liver transplant I was an adult so I could finally decide against it but my mother threatened that she will stop paying my tuition I said I would rather be in debt until I die than be coerced into surgery but then she screamed that I couldn't even get a loan without her signing the forms I had a breakdown I actually went up to the rooftop of the building thinking of suicide but one of the doctors talked me out of it I ended up giving part of my liver I wasn't too upset about my liver it will grow back and I was going to give it if they eventually failed to find another donor in the system my mother's control over my life is what scared me so much after the liver transplant my sister didn't survive the post-operative complications I wasn't even sad all I could think was that I was free I had to force myself not to smile at her funeral I do really sound like a coldblooded psycho now but without her I could finally be myself and not some backup plan in case her own organs failed the first thing I did after her funeral was applying to universities in foreign countries for transfer so I could get the hell away from the people who treated me like a pig at a Butcher House strip me of my life and take away whatever body part they needed I'm going to start a grad school stem cell research program in a month and it got me thinking about what got me into this field in the first place maybe someday I could grow organs so no more people like myself have to suffer the way in which her parents especially her mother clearly saw her as nothing but a tool to keep her sister alive is incredibly cruel it is of course sad that her sister battled such a cruel disease however that doesn't EXC excuse her parents' Behavior nor should anyone be seen as a means to an end to keep someone else alive this story really does make you think imagine living a life where everything you do is about keeping someone else alive it's not just about being there for them it's literally giving up parts of yourself your childhood your freedom I'm glad to hear she's managed to escape from her family and parents and live the life she was gifted with dph otherwise known as badril stands for Dien hydramine which is an antihistamine medication commonly used to relieve symptoms of allergies hay fever and the common cold it's also used as a sleep aid due to its sedative effects however dph is also known for its potential to cause hallucinations and delirium when taken in high doses leaving some individuals to abuse it recreationally this misuse of dph can be dangerous and is not recommended due to its significant side effects and potential for harm the subreddit dph is used to discuss recreational use but posts about using dph as it was intended are welcome too here we meet a user called tired of people faking too who asks how has dph affected your life I'm curious as to how you found out about dph why you started using it recreationally and how it has affected your life both negatively and or positively I know your experiences will be subjective and personal only to you but I'm still curious I first found out about dph on January 20th 2019 after smoking MJ with a couple of my friends the previous night we had been talking about getting some LSD shrooms and other hallucinogens but I had never tried those and I honestly didn't have the money at the time to buy them so instead I went searching on Google for cheap and legal substances that I could take as a substitute hallucinogenic I found a website with like 10 different legal types of substances that I could buy to hallucinate on but unfortunately the one that caught my attention the most was dph I went farther on the internet to research in depth about the long-term and short-term side effects of abusing dph the physical symptoms of an overdose various people's trip experiences on different amounts of dph where to buy a large quantity of the cheapest off-brand dph and looked at several interactions with dph I did not end up taking any until February 15th 2019 my first trip was on 450 mg of dph and it was horrible honestly I wasn't smart about it at all I remember taking it with six cans of beer around 11:00 p. m. under some random highway I remember walking aimlessly around town kept falling kept slurring my speech and ended up asking the local police department to drive me to the emergency room it was pretty stupid of me but anyways since February 15th I've probably ingested over a thousand pills of dph and my tolerance has gotten extremely high to where it takes at least 32 pills to get me even a little high so basically that's a very brief summary of how I got this way you can ask me questions about my experience here and I'll answer you all if you want any more details no one asked any questions and truthfully his post was mostly ignored there was only one comment on his post which read my only suggestion is stop sto taking dph but he didn't listen his next post 2,250 migs of dph it probably wasn't the best idea to take 90 pills he had consumed a dosage five times stronger than his previous one with people assuming he would have died from such an amount but surprisingly he didn't he posts another update titled 2,250 trip report saying the following sorry for leaving you all hanging for a day I don't really remember much of what happened in the past 48 hours all I can definitively say is that I had five seizures I set up a room vid cam to monitor me to see if I had any seizures I didn't sleep I ran a fever of 104.

9 which didn't break until a couple hours ago I wasn't able to keep any food or drink down so I'm like really parched LOL I fainted twice at my college and now I have a sever headache SL hangover from that big dose again I'm sorry for worrying y'all I don't even remember posting that I had taken 90 pills so I must have posted it when I was blacked out an incredibly bizarre update but thankfully he's still alive one user commented I'm happy you're alive please try to stop man to which the op replied I'm going to try sometime pass a new post appears currently have ingested 4,500 mg and will be ingesting 9,000 MGR tomorrow afternoon do you ever just break down and cry do you ever just realize your life has no purpose and you don't care if you die do you ever just want your loved ones to not worry so when they ask you if you're okay you lie I've been so angry with the world and myself and everyone in it I hate that I'm so mad all the time because I'm usually a very kind patient and compassionate person this uncontrollable rage has been building up inside my mind for the past several days and it terrifies me thinking about what damage I'm capable of doing I need it to stop I need everything to stop I can't do this anymore I'm so alone and I don't want to be here P. S I know that there is a high chance of me surviving 13. 5 G but I'm posting this just in case I succeed if you are new to this sub and have never tried dph I strongly urge you to leave this hell site before you're sucked into this endless black hole of Terror pain and confusion once again he leaves the subreddit questioning whether he's alive or not users share heartfelt messages in the hopes that the op changes his mind but he didn't yet somehow he's still alive a new post appears I'm still alive God knows how for all the newbies and curious people that want to try dph I highly recommend you all quit before you start or quit now before it gets very bad I wish I could have broken my habit a long time ago but the past is the past so I can't change that if you'll really want to do it though I got to tell you some things that happened to me while taking dph dph has landed me in the IC CU you intubated and comos from dangerous heart arrhythmias severe respiratory depression basically not being able to breathe and seizures three times in the past year dph has caused me to have permanent short-term memory loss at the age of 20 dph is very addictive which makes it hard to stay clean from it my tolerance has reached up to 32 pills sl800 Mig dph has ruined my ability to learn at school efficiently like I used to be able to and it has made it very hard for me to perform well at my job of course I know not a lot of people have been in my exact situation probably all of them and you might not experience the same symptoms I had when taking dph but it still goes to prove how dangerous this drug can be when you take High quantities of it PS this took 45 minutes to write because I was so high and kept forgetting what I was doing every few seconds it's quite a sad update as you can clearly tell he wants to get better he wants to do better and his previous comment of wanting to quit reinforces this idea he posts another update how am I not dead yet I've ingested so much I took 52 last Saturday 44 last Sunday 52 Monday 44 Wednesday and 52 today and I'm not talking about how many milligrams I took I'm talking about how many pills I have taken I have been so far into my my addiction that my tolerance is 44 pills and I can't go more than 2 days without it I really have no clue how my heart is still beating my lungs are still breathing and my brain is still working I don't know why I posted this but I guess I posted it to vent to y'all about the struggles of abusing dph I'm sure some of you understand and another how the heck have I not killed my liver from all this toxin like at first when I was just beginning to abuse dph February 15th 2019 the max dose I would take was 500 mg 20 pills but now the minimum dose I take is 1,500 mg 60 pills and my Max dose is 2,500 mg 100 pills I understand that my body's ability to metabolize and tolerate dph has gotten very high but I also do know that my body has a limit or max level of dph it can handle and if I happen to go above that Max dosage my body will become overwhelmed and my organs will start to fail I'm so frustrated with myself for getting psychologically addicted to dph because I can't seem to quit popping pills and ingesting massive amounts of dph every day and sometimes I use three times a day ever since I started abusing dph I have failed three College semesters been fired from two jobs and lost the love of my life it has isolated me from my loved ones both literally and figuratively I'm in so much debt from all the medical bills I owe from multiple ambulance trips ICU Admissions and medications I now have to take due to permanently damaging my heart my brain and my lungs I know I'm dangerously addicted to this stupid drug and I'm on the verge of dying but I don't want to stop because I hate being clean and I hate being fully aware of my surroundings I abuse dph to escape real ity the worst part about being addicted to dph is that I can't tell anyone about it because I know that they will never understand how addicting it is also I hate the dph high or trip because it makes me feel so bad both mentally and physically when I have a bunch of dph in my system I become Delirious medically incompetent aggressive full of uncontrollable and unprovoked rage confused inability to communicate effectively with others or keep an accurate track of time and space on edge extremely super heightened senses and exaggerated overreactions to outside stimuli and I experience very frequent major mood swings like I might be sad right now but in the next few minutes I'll be angry or tired or scared dph causes me to have tonic colonic seizures tachicardia arrhythmias dangerously low BP blackouts Syncopy respiratory depression extreme dehydration and both Visual and auditory hallucinations I really don't even know why I am writing this and posting it for yall to read but I guess I just needed to vent to someone who actually knows how I feel and understands the way dph works PS this took me over an hour and a half to complete this until he finally hits Rock Bottom I'm losing my mind 10,000 mg 400 pills I'm seriously considering taking it all tonight but hopefully I just choose to only take 100 pills instead of all of it this is Rock Bottom for me his account goes quiet some time passes and by some miracle he still hasn't died his latest posts although still concerning focus more on the usage and side effects of dph abuse rather than his active consumption of the substance he also shares his absolute worst experience of using dph which I wanted to share with you mine would have to be when I took 68 badril in April 2019 it wasn't very much medicine but I had been overdosing constantly on pills from February 15th to April 15th my body couldn't handle any more medicine so all the bad symptoms hit me all at once my roommate had to call 911 because I started to seize uncontrollably and I stopped breathing when the cops showed up they scared the crap out of me because I kept on hallucinating that they were pulling their guns on me which was so stupid of me to even think of then when the paramedics arrived they had to carry me out on a stair chair to the ambulance and then drive me to the closest ER once they put me in the trauma Bay I started to seize again and my heart rate wouldn't go below 160 BPM I was so delirious and time was completely distorted for me I was so scared because I kept on blacking out and I didn't know what was going on I kept on pulling my IVs out and I kept screaming at the ER staff to call my mom because I thought I was going to die all alone I thought I was making sense but I now know that the words call my mom did not translate to my speech and I probably was just speaking a bunch of gibberish to the medical team also events kept on repeating on a loop in my head like deja vu which was horrible because they had to pump my stomach and force a gigantic nasal tube down my throat even though I'm pretty sure they only pumped my stomach once my brain still keeps on telling me that I was tubed four times I swear that the nurse kept on hitting me but I now know that I just was delirious and hallucinated that event even after they pumped my stomach I was still very unstable so they had to intubate me and put in an IJ line central line in jug regular and then admit me to their cardiac ICU I spent 8 days in the ICU and then 17 days on a step down unit that was my worst experience ever could he perhaps be reflecting on his substance abuse is he turning over a new Leaf unfortunately the answer is no this is my 28th time this year of buying 400 dph tablets I've gone through a total of 112 bottles of 2,500 m gr or 100 pills I honestly don't give a crap anymore if I die I die if I live I live he continues to descend deeper 15 G 600 pills this drug has ruined me and deeper I honestly don't give a crap anymore I just want it to end I know that these pills won't kill me but I wish they would sometimes I do have other pills I could take to really stop everything but I just don't know and deeper this crap makes me throw up so bad but I still keep on taking it until he truly hits Rock Bottom 276 pills 6.

9 G 6,900 mg why the hell not one user commented don't tell us that you're planning on taking all of that at once I was hospitalized for taking 1. 5 G let alone 6. 9 G please be safe to which he replied yes I plan on it I take 1.

5 G regularly I've taken 2. 5 g three times in the past year I took 4. 5 G in April 6.

9 G may be the dose that finally frees me and it did in the afternoon hours of September 22nd 2020 us are tired of people faking two passed away from an overdose of dph it's such a tragic and heartbreaking story in his posts you could see a glimmer of hope a plea to escape his addiction and free himself from the substance abuse but ultimately he succumbed to his addiction and unfortunately lost his life substance abuse is unfortunately an incredibly common struggle with the United States national survey on drug use and health stating that in 2022 168.