My Golden Brother Hired A Private Investigator To Expose Me As A Failure, But....-Best Reddit

my golden brother hired a private investigator to expose me as a failure but instead he uncovered my multi-million dollar success I was raised in a quaint little village with my two siblings the middle sibling is me the fact that everyone there knows one another can be both a strength and a weakness my father is the kind of man who puts in a lot of work but keeps his emotions to himself he is now thinking about retiring my mother is the total opposite of him she has consistently maintained the house and upheld the traditional ideals she

was taught growing up my parents are both from traditional religious families they are my parents and I love them but I've always felt that I didn't live up to their standards the fact that they appear to view me as the family's disappointment hurts in contrast my older brother is the family's Golden Boy at 40 he settled down and married a calm reticent woman their two sons have a strong interest in sports particularly Rough and Tumble Sports to put it mildly they're a pain my brother appears to feel it is his duty to guide me in

life he works as a car salesperson at a local dealership his mentorship however feels more like him treating me like a project he can't manage as if I'm always in need of assistance and should be appreciative of any time he spends with me he presents a picture of a wonderful existence talking about his athletic children his powerboat and his ATVs but his counsil frequently comes off as boasting about his big house fancy cars and his so-called trophy wife I feel even more alone as a result of this I was the sensitive II child at school

who frequently broke down in tears and appeared to always find an excuse for why things didn't go as planned I wasn't a strong tough child or athletic as an alternative I was made fun of and kept out of most activities having asthma made me feel even more alienated the worst thing asthma is not considered a significant medical problem by my parents furthermore I have battled depression for as long as I can remember I was never the kind of child who could run down a field or throw a football straight my parents frequently made remarks about

how I wasn't as intelligent or gregarious as my older brother and frequently made comparisons between us school was challenging I had a poor 2.5 GPA when I graduated from high school after saving up some cash I enrolled in college but I left in my second year a family controversy resulted from such choice in a sense my younger sister was the princess of the family I don't know much about her because I left when she was a teenager the main reason I feel this way about her is because I have seen her as an adult she

is not a horrible person and is merely a little overindulged but maybe because it's simpler than being the target herself she frequently treats me the same way my parents and brother do she had a beautiful wedding was married when she was 19 and has three kids now I can best identify with her middle child I guess I see a little of myself in her because she's also the middle child she gets mocked a lot and maybe because her problems are similar to mine I feel like I know her better after I graduated from college I

really began to embrace my sh nerdy side before it closed more than 7 years ago I worked at a comic book and video game store in my community which I really enjoyed even though I have moved on my parents still behave as though I work there the best part of my position at the store was getting to know another geek with huge Ambitions we co-founded a successful it support business together my business partner ultimately made the decision to sell our company to a bigger Corporation I was bought out with cash and stock options as part

of the deal and it worked out rather well I started a few side projects and made a number of wise Investments several of which were quite profitable I try not to brag but I have more than 1 million dollar in assets I currently work for a brand new private startup as its CTO even though I'm wealthy I live a humble life all of the Furnishings in my comfortable two-bedroom house in a fantastic area is used and I drive a 15-year-old Saturn right now I'm not in a relationship I have a hectic life and see my

therapist on a regular basis like my Melancholy and asthma I deal with drinking which is difficult because my parents don't take it seriously they believe it to be wholly mental even if it's not what other people anticipate or comprehend I've been able to carve out a prosperous career for myself in spite of the ups and downs my parents expect me to join them for supper every Sunday night they live on the opposite side of the state so the travel is not quick it takes 90 to 120 Minutes each way which eats up over half of

my weekend they still seem to think that as an unmarried individual and what my brother likes to refer to as a mental case I have nothing better to do these meals are frequently difficult I get unsolicited advice on how to marry establish a family and be a proper adult for 3 hours or I sit through lengthy conversation about my brother's most recent huge sale at the car dealership which is the buzz of the table although they have never called me a mooch directly the implication is there if I skip one of these dinners it is

both frustrating and perplexing I frequently question why I still go to these events when I talk to my therapist my family has a tendency to downplay or misrepresent all of my accomplishments people back home still think I work at the long gone game store my brother was seen as more mature and gregarious than I was and he had a successful profession as a result I was continuously made fun of for my prior retail experience I found it challenging to communicate to my family back home the truth about my life and my achievements because of this

disparity games and comics were sometimes written off as immature entertainment despite my genuine expertise in technology my attempts to discuss it were typically overshadowed my brother would interrupt me and pretend as if I didn't know anything even though I knew he was babbling I typically just listen to him I was scared to correct him since I would have to explain my work and defend my knowledge I secretly scared that they wouldn't value my career and that it would alter their opinion of me I'll confess that I've had difficulties and occasionally been a complete mess however

everything changed last month my brother managed to get his hands on some of my personal information the truth is is that he employed a private investigator to carry out what he said was a background check on my employment I had a sneaking suspicion that he was organizing an intervention with my folks they were totally unprepared for what they discovered they learned my actual value as a person that I didn't live in a rundown flat and other private information since I work in security this was very ironic after making the connections I was even able to

track out the source of the hack by receiving notifications about unauthorized efforts to get my credit report everything became clear after this Revelation and I now have to deal with my family's abrupt and unanticipated change in how they view me it's a lot to take in particularly in light of our relationship's history of miscommunication and undervaluation I chose to have the same private detective firm look into my brother's money since I was so upset over the breach of my privacy my brother was actually living well beyond his means a file with child protective services several

previous arrests for DWI and public intoxication and domestic disturbance calls were also discovered throughout the investigation he was having trouble making his scheduled back payments to the IRS and managing three mortgage loans on his house despite the fact that there were currently no ongoing charges his credit was a total mess in contrast my parents had little more than what I already knew and lived modest Lifestyles when it came to money they were realistic and pragmatic I was so concentrated on getting ready to confront my family at the next meal hoping it would cause a rift

that I didn't even care to see how my sister was doing but the dinner's atmosphere was completely different from what I had imagined my parents started to treat me with a strange sort of veneration as if I were The Golden Child this adjustment obviously distressed my brother he lost his anger Midway through dinner in an attempt to restore his reputation he began boasting about recent sales commissions and a purported promotion I just gave him my congratulations and mentioned his debt IRS problems and stretched credit condition in a tactful manner in other words I called attention

to my brother's financial disaster while simultaneously C celebrating his accomplishments the whole thing was oddly gloomy the already challenging family Dynamic was made even more Awkward by my parents Sudden Change in Behavior toward me which appeared forced and artificial at first my brother disputed everything when I handed him a copy of the report but I pointed out that by utilizing the agency to look into me he had inadvertently suggested it as I have to say that felt good for a little while my parents who reprimanded him and responded with dramatic shock were obviously aware of

it as well the whole thing became very unsettling because the report needed my social security number it was not a pleasant Revelation or the ensuing argument as it revealed my family's avarice and cowardice my disdain for them grew they started accusing one another of a variety of things throughout the course of the following hour I made every effort to keep quiet but sometimes they became irate with me I would either shrug or respond with a nonchalant one word comment when that occurred my sister's husband my brother's wife and their five kids looked on shock as

our family disintegrated like never before our meetings were typically routine and uninteresting my sister would give updates whenever she could my brother and his wife would boast about their lives my mom would strike up a conversation and my dad would complain in response this collapse had never occurred during one of our family dinners it was a tumultuous meal to say the least as long simmering deeply ingrained issues exploded into the open the customary subtle Jabs about how I should look up to my brother and be a real man were replaced by astonished quiet I got

into a heated disagreement with my dad brother and myself they dug up every relic of family Strife from the previous 30 years and argued over who was responsible for everything it was like watching an unruly drama play out in real time all of my negative thoughts about my family seemed to be validated during such instances in all honesty I felt terrible even though you might have expected me to feel some sort of Justice or Triumph I became aware of my poor handling of the situation although I was well aware of these flaws what had I

meant to accomplish by making my brother's wrongdoings public his children now know about his tumultuous history which I had not wanted them to when my brother yelled at me in a fit of Wrath the situation reached a Breaking Point his harsh statements such as you should have never been born were stunning but what really stuck out was my parents desperate attempts to calm him down a degree of desperation I had never witnessed before he accused me of being the cause of all the family's problems they made an effort to intervene but they never really admitted

or accepted responsibility for the way they had treated me throughout the years I was both very saddened and Vindicated it served as a harsh and obvious reminder of the underlying problems in our family's Dynamics my parents accused me of something else until I could take it no more they implied that I could have helped but decided not to claiming that I was refusing to help a sick niece or nephew I had no knowledge of such a circumstance no one had ever told me about this issue or reached out to me for help I suspected they

were making things up as they went along but I didn't challenge it I thought you believed I was still working at the comic book shop I reminded them instead they never seemed to understand that the store had closed in 2011 even though I had reminded them several times the way they had misrepresented our family history to fit their storyline appalled me I drove home after feeling overburdened and annoyed I'm feeling conflicted right now knowing that they would probably put pressure on me to repay them now that they are aware of my money makes me feel

deceived I know what's coming because I've witnessed how they treated my brother in a similar manner however I also recognize and value the fact that my parents provided for my basic needs as a child including clothing food and housing it will be difficult to navigate this Labyrinth of thankfulness bitterness and freshly set boundaries I'll probably need my therapists assistance to process this change in Dynamics it's obvious that establishing clear limits going forward will be essential growing up was challenging because to be honest I was never the favorite Child in my family my brother mistreated me

but my parents did little to stop it even though they never physically beat me my parents responded as though nothing was wrong whether he kicked hit or said extremely terrible things they completely disregarded it it is really concerning that they do not consider verbal abuse to be damaging or real verbal abuse is terrible in and of itself but it is even more painful when the people who are there to protect you choose to ignore it I've had enough of fighting this for years even though I am aware that they are my family I feel the

need to keep a permanent distance although I wish them well I think it will be better for me to go on and begin a new chapter without them if I discover someone amazing like a girlfriend and we decide to be married and have kids what will happen then how will I deal with these problems with my family it may get rather complicated so I'm attempting to figure it out how can I introduce my new family to my family if I'm not talking to them anymore I have a lot of questions about what lies ahead prior

to reading the update allow me to give you some advice your family didn't app appreciate you as a person if they merely wanted you around to boost their self-esteem they want you around to take advantage of your wealth now that they are aware of your financial achievement you are not defined by your family according to everything you've said they not you are the issue you come across as a good-hearted diligent individual who endured harsh treatment in your family circumstances put your phone away and carry on with your life you've done a great job creating your

own life reduce the amount of time you spend with your family as much as you like they only want your money and you know it as a result you can communicate with them however you see fit stay in touch with your therapist to help you move into a life where they don't hold you back steer clear of pointless conversations if at all possible think about relocating to a new place packing up your things and Starting Over You are not alone if you have to make tough choices because many people struggle with their families when it

comes to dating explaining these Dynamics to a potential spouse might be challenging particularly if they have tight Family Ties but you will start your own family when the time is right actions to take going ahead if you haven't done put a security freeze on your credit accounts if your brother used dealership resources to collect information about you let the appropriate parties know the dealership is unlikely to be amenable to being implicated if his activities involved fraud speak with an attorney despite your youth mishaps do occur your parents would currently inherit your assets as your default

next of kin put it in writing as soon as you can if you would rather have someone else be the beneficiary locate a trustworthy counselor you may feel sad about being apart from your family in the upcoming months speaking with an expert will assist you in processing this update following the family dinner argument it was like leaving a battle Zone when I got home I flew across the quiet nighttime road with nothing but my thoughts I knew that something needed to change as soon as I pulled into my driveway if I didn't want to go

insane I had to quit throwing family dinners I concentrated on my work and mental well-being being during the course of the following two weeks not only were the gadgets and comic books strewn over my home visually appealing but they served as a sanctuary for me in order to figure out how to separate from my family without totally alienating them I stepped up my therapy appointments during this period my therapist Dr Bennett was really helpful he used methods that felt more like building a fort than a wall to help me set boundaries my mind started to

go toward the future more especially relationships as the weeks went by and the temperature Rose I began to think that meeting someone amazing was not just possible but likely after spending time by myself and without a partner then like something from a comic book Ava showed up Ava and I met at a technology conference her cyber security talk captivated me not just because of the topic but also because of her Charisma she was smart and grounded understood me and had a love- centered view of families that was restrained by firm boundaries as Eva's situation worsened

the unsaid problem was how to introduce her to my family's circus we discussed how to deal with with it over numerous Pizza eating evenings we made the decision to have short visible and Casual family get togethers everything changed when Eva even offered to help me our initial interactions were straightforward coffee dates I reintroduced myself to family gatherings while Ava was around naturally the first few times were really uncomfortable my parents were too polite and wary as though I may vanish at any moment in contrast my brother looked to be attempting to express a lot but

was having trouble finding the perfect words but my sister sister and her kids were a pleasant diversion my sister's middle child who looked a lot like me was instantly won over by Ava we became accustomed to these coffee dates which were like short Fay into family territory a brief coming and going I was able to reconnect without becoming entangled in the chaos thanks to this strategy unexpectedly it started to function my family adjusted to the arrangement over time maybe they understood that this was the only way they could continue to have me in their life

they began to be mindful of my limits as things got better I started to consider the long-term more what might the future hold for us together with Ava I envisioned building a solid Family Foundation based on respect and caring for one another rather than obligation and guilt I knew there would be difficulties of course Ava and I talked about the prospect of living together one summer evening when we were walking by the lake I was struck by how far I had come from feeling abandoned by my family to being able to stand on my own

with a better sense of who I was it seemed like day and night I have a cautious sense of optimism for the future I feel prepared even though I know the road ahead may be rough with possible potholes the size of craters setting limits with my family after Eva was more than simply a matter of protecting myself it was about making room for new connections and a fulfilling future for myself the infamous Sunday meals are still planned but they now take place according to my preferences I go occasionally and don't go other times I bring

Ava along to family dinners and we discuss any issues that arise even though there has been a lot of improvement there are still issues the secret is finding that balance keeping things harmonious without becoming overpowered hi everyone I'm still learning how to share stuff online so please be patient with me I want to tell you everything that's going on in my life at the moment let's start by introducing the main characters I am the Storyteller Peach is our daughter Mario is our son and Daisy is my soon Tobe ex-wife we are currently going through a

challenging separation that is quick turning into a very acrimonious divorce the main reason Daisy and I are divorcing is that she accepted her bisexuality earlier this year she expressed her desire for our marriage to be open to me directly I was not at all comfortable with that notion when I learned that Daisy had slept with my cooworker who is also one of my closest friends the situation got even worse that must have been terrible and awkward it seemed like a betrayal from both my household and my place of employment as a police officer we were

unable to stay together after that I took a break to think things out Daisy did everything she could to keep us together at first but when it became apparent that I was adamant about not opening our marriage despite her reasons and entreaties things took a nasty turn Daisy's perspective had changed she became bitter and the last thing I wanted was for her to start playing pawns with our kids Daisy started telling Peach that she had to leave our home because I no longer love them I detested them she said and I was destroying our family

it was heartbreaking to hear that especially in light of Peach's obvious confusion and grief our kids frequently visit Daisy's mother's home where she currently resides Daisy and her new friend attempt to make these visits seem like a huge thrilling vacation presumably in an attempt to play the cool parents and turn Peach and Mario against me they lavish them with toys and candy in addition to our mental struggle Daisy and I disagree on nearly everything this involves deciding who should inherit what belongings and how much money one of us should contribute to support the other the

hardest part though choosing how to split up Mario and Peach's time Daisy fights back against every compromise we try to reach she seems to be making things more difficult for herself Daisy has been telling our kids things lately that make me the bad guy which is unjust for example Peach and Mario have been asking me whether I don't like Daisy's new friend AP let's call them AP seems to adore them more than I do for whatever reason such talk is a major disturbance to their minds I was working on a big project at work a

few weeks ago I was working much more overtime in my pursuit of a promotion from police officer to homicide investigator Daisy and I agreed that the kids would spend this busy time with her and come see me on the weekends I would stop by when it was time for them to go for daisies Mario exclaimed tears in his eyes are you taking us away because you hate us like your mother says as I handed him his luggage a big one I had packed for him the moment was heartbreaking I hugged him tightly and assured him

that I truly loved him even though it wasn't true it was strange despite my best efforts to visit them last weekend it was really challenging it hurt a lot that they didn't say much to me they didn't seem to want to see me at all it wasn't until today that I had another opportunity to talk to them they both looked very sad as I lifted them up I could now talk to them as I picked them up it was clear that peach is having difficulties even while she still shows her love for me Daisy seems

to be making it harder for her to do so given how difficult the situation is I'm attempting to decide on the best course of action to reduce the harm to the kids this kind of twisting of family Dynamics can be extremely challenging Peach is having a lot of trouble because she believes she is incapable of loving me I can no longer watch helplessly as my princess endures pain since this divorce is purposefully harming them I'm beginning to have my doubts do I need to take the divorce further is it possible to proceed while keeping my

kids safe or should I just stay and accept it now for the comment you need to tell your divorce attorney about all of this right away parental alienation is what this is a judge will definitely order it to Halt but it will probably be hard to enforce you have to get started on this right away and keep going Daisy is acting in a way that is really damaging make sure you pursue the divorce and keep all the paperwork it will only become worse if you stay this is known as parental alienation and it played a

significant role in my friend's child custody Victory because his ex-wife was acting in a similar manner engage a lawyer as soon as possible and record Daisy's actions seek the Children's medical attention this is a very bad position for them your kids shouldn't be left with her unattended tell your lawyer what she did inform CPS about her treatment of the kids if necessary never again let her actions go unchecked for the sake of your kids thank you for watching if you haven't subscribed yet please do so and hit the notification Bell to stay updated with more

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