part one when you retire never give such things to your children especially after 70 years old in an era where familial bonds are often tested by the pressures of Modern Life the Story of Mister Bernie challenges our understanding of Parental love and expectations imagine devoting your entire life to raising and supporting your children only to find yourself feeling forgotten and unappreciated in your golden years Mister Bernie and his wife once devoted parents who spared no effort or expense to give their sons the best possible start now find themselves at a Crossroads their tale is a
poignant reminder that while parental love knows no bounds it must sometimes confront the harsh realities of changing family Dynamics dive into this compelling narrative to discover why Mis Bernie chooses to safeguard his retirement savings prioritizing Independence over unconditional support and what it means for retirees navigating similar emotional and financial dilemmas however there are exceptions Mister Bernie from our neighborhood is not like this he and his wife were once civil servants earning good salaries and saving a lot of money now both are retired and their combined retirement pensions add up to over $5,000 despite this they
haven't given their children a single penny since retirement which puzzles people while other parents are eager to give their children money they firmly refuse what could they be thinking let's hear Mister Bernie's story and understand the reasons behind this Mister Bernie says I'm 72 years old this year retired for 12 years my wife is 5 years younger than me and has also been retired for over a decade we both worked in state-owned Enterprises so our combined monthly pensions exceed $5,000 with such retirement funds we live comfortably enjoying whatever we want and traveling as we please
we don't hold back on ourselves after working hard for half our lives retirement is a time to enjoy life despite our comfortable situation we've never spent a penny on our children some might ask with such high pensions wouldn't we have some money left each month to support our children after all young people have it tough and parents should help them however my wife and I prefer to keep the money for ourselves even if it depreciates rather than spend it on our children he continues our actions aren't heartless we've observed our two sons Behavior which has
left US Cold my wife and I struggled in life and know how painful poverty is when our lives improved after entering public service we were very caring and loving towards our two sons however we had boundaries we spared no expense for what they needed but firmly refused to spend on what they didn't need perhaps due to my educational philosophy of being tactful and moderate both sons have always performed well since childhood they excelled academically and were admitted to prestigious universities they graduated found employment in major cities got married and had children everything was smooth and
stable many people admired us saying we raised them well our sons became white collar workers in big cities achieving success in their careers Mister Bernie adds although both sons were outstanding my wife and I did a lot to help them build their families and careers after our eldest son graduated from college we arranged for him to work in a state-owned company recommended by someone we knew knew when he got married we paid the down payment for his new house about 10000000000 West dollar later when he bought a car we sponsored $5,000 as for our younger
son his major in college was relatively unpopular making it difficult for him to find a job after graduation so we spent money to send him for further studies he didn't secure a stable job until nearly 30 when he got married he married a woman from another Province and we spent over over 5000000 us on his dowy moreover we bought a house for both brothers spending all the savings we had accumulated over half a lifetime Mister Bernie shares later they both had children so my wife and I retired early to take care of them my wife
retired at 50 to care for our eldest grandson and I retired at 60 to care for our youngest granddaughter it wasn't until the two children started school that we could rest we can be said to have given everything for for our two sons giving our all we thought that with our selfless dedication they would eventually take care of us but in the end there was no filial piety only a desire to live off us generally where there are old people there's a home and children should come home often to visit but our sons are different
they rarely come home during festivals and seldom call our eldest son lives just 300 km away only a 4-Hour drive yet he only comes home once a year usually during the Chinese New Year each time he arrives empty-handed and leaves with gifts I remember one year Mister Bernie recalls while neighbors children brought bags of goods and gifts for their parents our eldest son was extremely stingy he drove his SUV home but only brought two pieces of clothing for my wife and me without any new year gifts while other children give red envelopes to their parents
on New Year's Eve our eldest son never did only the grandchildren were thoughtful enough to give us their red envelopes before the new year was over our eldest son would leave clearing out the New Year Goods we prepared for the family that year I felt that our son and daughter-in-law were too much so I said a few words to them my son replied anyway you're both so old now you can't eat so much and it's a waste to leave things at home Mister Bernie continues our younger son was even more excessive when we bought a
house for him he asked for money to buy a car when he asked for money his tone was like that of a a bandit directly saying dad I want to buy a car quickly transfer 70000000000 to me do it now I felt very uncomfortable with this demanding attitude from my son it made me feel like he thought he was the father and I was the son so I refused although we could afford to give him 700000000 dollar I didn't like my son asking for money like that especially when he already had a car buying another
one would be a waste mister Mr Bernie explains later when he couldn't get money for the car he found other ways to ask for money saying he needed it to renovate the house or start a business asking for tens of thousands each time but I saw through his intentions and only gave him a little money each time unexpectedly because I refused to give him money my son began to treat us poorly as if we had wronged him every time he came back he was cold and indifferent leaving as soon as he finished eating even when
we asked him to stay longer he heartlessly refused saying it was uncomfortable staying at home gradually missed her Bernie notes the actions of our two sons made us increasingly cold-hearted four years ago my wife was hospitalized due to osteoarthritis although the medical expenses for surgery and treatment were covered by us my wife wished for our sons to visit her however both sons avoided visiting like they were avoiding a plague none of them came back as if visiting their mother would cost them money in the end both sons only made a simple phone call and showed
no real concern what was originally a simple operation caused my wife a lot of pain not physical pain but emotional pain while in the hospital other patients were accompanied by their children but we only had each other which was quite pitiful Mis B Bernie continues later when my wife was still recovering I accidentally fell and fractured my foot at that time my wife's back was not good and she couldn't take care of me I wanted our two sons to come and take care of us but they kept making excuses one said he was busy with
work and the other claimed he wasn't feeling well despite explaining the seriousness of my condition they both said they couldn't come helpless I spent money to hire a caregiver however during my recovery I found out through my grandchildren that my eldest son had taken his family to the seaside for a vacation and the younger son had gone hiking knowing all this made me feel more heartbroken than physical pain After experiencing such things Mister Bernie reflects people ask if we still need to give our savings to our sons that's why my wife and I gradually let
go of our sons no longer relying on them and no longer pinning our hopes for retirement on them because we are still alive and able to take care of ourselves if they treat us so heartlessly now it would be worse if we couldn't take care of ourselves in the future therefore we decided to firmly hold on to our money not giving our sons a penny even in emergencies we will Reserve enough retirement funds for ourselves if we can't take care of ourselves in old age we won't rely on our sons but will go to a
nursing home together although a nursing home lacks the warmth of family and personalized care I believe that buying services with money will be more comfortable and enjoyable than relying on our sons perhaps Mister Bernie situation is rare but it doesn't mean it doesn't exist in today's society human emotions are as thin as paper and familial affection is not what it used to be especially now young people pursue freedom and self-enjoyment and it's rare to find someone completely filial to their parents so when we grow old we must hold on to our retirement savings tightly if
children are in trouble we should help but not too much everyone must experience the ups and downs of life and children should face their own trials what we can do is help them within our means when they are in trouble many elderly people think about helping their children raise their grandchild after retirement but nowadays many young people prefer to raise their children themselves and are unwilling to let their parents take care of them if they don't have grandchildren to take care of retirement life can be boring if there's enough pension life might be manageable but
without it people can become anxious about earning more money many people are still young at 60 and can work for another 5 or 6 years so what kind of work can they do after retirement today I'll share with you four types of job jobs that retirees can still engage in one the first type is community security many Community security guards are retired elderly people if you're retired and in good health you can apply to be a community security guard in the community where I live several security guards are retired seniors they sit in the security
booth every day reading newspapers and helping press a button to open the gate when someone comes by the work is relatively leisurely when looking for security work try not to aim for high-end communities as they may have strict management and may not hire retired seniors it's better to look for opportunities in medium to low-end communities however security work usually involves night shifts my uncle became a security guard after retirement and had to work night shifts which can be tiring be mentally prepared for this to find security work it's best to have someone you know introduce
you if you don't have connections inquire at the community property management office two the second type is being a nanny Mrs Carol 52 years old retired 2 years ago with a monthly pension of over $1,500 her husband passed away many years ago and her only daughter is still studying for her master's degree since misses Carolyn's parents are healthy she felt unfulfilled doing odd jobs like working at a supermarket or watching over stores she decided to explore other options one day she was sitting on a bench downstairs lost in thought when she chatted with an old
acquaintance who mentioned his inconvenience due to his current situation he could still take care of himself but his only daughter was married and had children elsewhere and he didn't want to trouble her he considered hiring alive and Nanny but thought it unnecessary instead looking for someone to cook and clean weekly misses Carol realized there might be many elderly people like him in their community and decided to become a new type of Nanny not living in but offering assistance as needed she she posted messages in her community group offering her services to cook for the elderly
or help young people who needed assistance to her surprise she received inquiries from three elderly people's children that night she started by cooking meals according to their preferences and delivering them eventually she expanded her services to include cleaning and accompanying them to medical appointments after more than a month Mrs Carol noticed a growing demand for such Services among the elderly who often felt neglected by their family Ames they didn't just need material support but also desired companionship and understanding her interactions with the elderly taught her the importance of empathy and communication she realized many elderly
people wanted someone to listen to them and appreciate their stories over time she provided practical assistance and emotional support enriching her own life after 6 months she invited former colleagues to join her forming a small team to provide similar Services creating a supportive environment for both the elderly and themselves elves three the third type is setting up a small stall to sell Goods if you have some savings you can buy a small cart and set up a stall at the entrance of supermarkets or malls to sell fruits or snacks this is a form of self-employment
albeit with some Financial Risk it's not advisable for retirees with limited funds as failure as possible however for those who enjoy Independence and have spare cash it could be worth a try if you have a garden and grow your own vegetables you can sell your produce at the stall four the fourth type is working as a dishwasher in a restaurant after retirement women may not be able to work as security guards like men but they can consider dishwashing in restaurants my aunt found a dishwashing job after retirement working at a restaurant during lunch and dinner
hours with the rest of the day free for rest however the pay may not be high similar jobs include hotel cleaning staff positions after retirement if you need need extra income it's possible to find work having money provides a sense of security and being financially independent is important for retirees however it's crucial to find low intensity work to avoid overexertion which could lead to health issues retirement should focus on enjoying life with earning money as a secondary consideration even if you don't have much money living a simple life and saving can still sustain you lastly
I wish all retired friends a happy and fulfilling retirement remember you're never alone in this Community part two don't live with your children in old age getting too close to your children will be a disaster in the Twilight years should parents live with their children or pursue their own dreams meet Aura a 62-year-old mother who dared to defy tradition and societal expectations after the death of her husband and a decade of solitude she moved in with her son and daughter-in-law hoping for companionship and care but what unfolded was a harsh reality that turned turned her
retirement into a Relentless cycle of unpaid labor and unappreciated sacrifice faced with an overwhelming sense of being used Ora made a courageous choice that shocked her family and inspired countless others dive into her powerful story of resilience self-discovery and the unyielding Pursuit of Happiness today I want to share with you the question of whether parents should live with their children after they grow old Aura 62 years old is a mother of two children a boy and a girl her daughter is married after retiring Aura initially moved in with her son and his wife however a
year after retirement Ora packed her bags and returned to her hometown never getting involved with her son's family and refusing to live with them let's take a look at aura's story my husband passed away 10 years ago and since then I've been living alone when I turned 60 and retired my son was worried about me being lonely so he invited me to live with them I thought it was a filial gesture so I agreed I moved moved in with him and at first my daughter-in-law treated me well we got along fine she often greeted me
and told me not to do too much housework suggesting I go dancing take walks or chat with other aunties outside but after some time my daughter-in-law started asking me to do more chores it started with helping with cleaning and escalated to cooking and eventually doing all the household chores and looking after the children I thought my son wanted me to enjoy life in retirement but instead I found myself working as an unpaid maid doing everything for their family before retiring I had plans for how I wanted to spend my retirement I wanted to dance in
the Square raise a little dog grow some vegetables and enjoy a peaceful life in my hometown then I'd catch up with old friends over tea but reality turned out to be cruel instead of enjoying life I ended up being a servant to my son's family with no spare time for myself one Saturday night while I was cleaning my son and daughter-in-law casually mentioned taking a 4-day vacation leaving me to look after the children they didn't even consider how I felt about it I was Furious all the responsibilities at home seemed to fall on me while
they enjoyed their time together I was left to handle everything alone whenever I wanted to visit friends or take a break there was always housework waiting for me it felt unfair that their lives were so comfortable while I worked tirelessly for them I spent days contemplating and finally decided I had to live for myself so I told my son I was going to visit an old friend for a few days and let them manage on their own my daughter-in-law was upset accusing me of neglecting my duties but I was determined they couldn't stop me I
returned to my hometown and finally started Living the retirement life I had envisioned I do things I enjoy every day and I feel fulfilled I realized I couldn't keep sacrificing myself for others I've already dedicated half my life to my son it's time for him to take responsibility for his own life instead of relying on me aura's story is a powerful Testament to the enduring strength and resilience of the human Spirit her decision to leave her son's home and reclaim her independence was not just an act of defiance but a bold declaration of her right
to live life on her own terms this courageous move shattered the traditional expectations placed upon aging parents challenging the notion that their primary role is to serve their children endlessly as she packed her bags and returned to her hometown Aura was not merely walking away from a life of unpaid servitude she was stepping into a new chapter filled with possibilities and self-fulfillment her story resonates deeply especially with older adults who often find themselves torn between familial obligations and personal desires aura's experience underscores the importance of setting boundaries in prioritizing one's well-being even in the face
of societal pressures and familial expectations living alone once more Aura embraced the freedom she had long yearned for she spent her days dancing in the Square raising a little dog and growing vegetables in her garden these Simple Pleasures which she had once dreamed of became her reality she reconnected with old friends sharing laughter and stories over tea savoring the richness of a life she had reclaimed aura's journey is a poignant reminder that it is never too late to pursue happiness and fulfillment her story encourages us all to reflect on the quality of our own lives
and the choices we make it is a call to action for older adults to stand firm in their right to live independently and joyfully refusing to be burdened by unappreciated sacrifices in a world where aging is often accompanied by diminishing expectations and increasing demands or as tale is a Beacon of Hope and inspiration it reminds us that self-respect and personal happiness are Paramount and that every individual regardless of age deserves to live a life filled with joy purpose and dignity let aura's story inspire you to reclaim your own happiness and live boldly unapologetically and freely
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