Men treat WOMEN the way women treat MONEY: how sex roles change the dating process

I'm Dr Orion taraban and this is psych hacks Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is men treat women the way women treat money so after my episode women treat men the wing men treat jobs I got a lot of requests for the complementary treatment basically what are women to men after giving it some thought this is the result just keep in mind what I said in that previous episode that it was understanding where women were coming from that helped me to make sense of a lot of otherwise painful and bewildering

things that women did and this understanding helped me to heal accept and ultimately enjoy more fulfilling relationships with women my intention here is to do the same thing for you ladies if you can understand without judgment where men are coming from this should help you heal accept and ultimately enjoy more fulfilling relationships with men the key here is without judgment may be asking too much but there it is and that's the spirit in which all of this is being given I'm here to help now before I get into it please remember to like this video

And subscribe to this channel it takes less than a second costs you nothing and it's a great way to show your love thanks for your help okay so women treat men the way men treat jobs and men treat women the way women treat money at first blast you might be thinking same same but different but they're not the same thing at all think of all the associations you have about work versus all the associations you have about money remember work is really a means to an end no one shows up to work for work they

show up for a paycheck this is why women typically have relationship goals they see the relationship as a means to an end just like men see a job as a means to a paycheck but for when but for men women are the paycheck they're the money when we get into a relationship with you it doesn't need to go anywhere because we're finally where we wanted to be it's payday it's the second Saturday of the second Friday of the month you know what I'm saying it's our time to relax and have fun and we think that

way because of the incredible amount of work it took to get you this cannot be overstated most women have absolutely no conception of the sheer amount of effort and time and skill and resource that goes into getting you because you don't see it it all happens before you say yes this is really important so let me try to help you understand this when a guy approaches you in the bar on the street and chats you up and you're attracted to him enough to give him your number or when you match with a guy on a

dating app and you text back and forth and you're attracted enough to actually meet up with him how long does the whole interaction take place just a few minutes in the first case and probably just a few days in the second from your perspective from the man's perspective it actually took years across hundreds of attempts I work with a lot of guys on pickup and attraction at this stage in my life I can walk into a crowded bar and walk out an hour later with a handful of numbers but the fact of the matter is

that it's taken me 10 years to be able to pick a woman up in 10 minutes it takes a lot of work to be confident to be Charming to be smooth to be successful to be witty to be self-controlled and you don't see any of that work ladies you didn't stick around to see it but we do the work for the same reason that you do your job we want the paycheck but here's the thing just like a lot of women secretly resent all the work that they have to do to get paid and would

prefer to just have money a lot of men secretly resent all the work they have to do to get into a relationship and would prefer to just have women and the more difficult it is for people to get something the harder it is for them to give it up and the easier it is for them to take it when it's offered and the more they want something the easier it is to rationalize doing whatever it takes to get it women how easy is it for you to spend your hard-earned money didn't you prefer to spend

someone else's money before you had to spend your own of course you would and on some level it's perfectly rational for you to have that preference but just like women would prefer not to spend their own money which they earned if they don't have to men would prefer not to forego women the access to which they earned if they don't have to men do more work than women to earn their optionality so it's hard for men to give that optionality up for the same reason it's also easier to take when it's offered ladies how often

have you turned down free money assuming it was being offered in good faith probably never if someone offered you money like as a gift you probably wouldn't say oh no thank you I have enough money and you certainly wouldn't say oh no thanks I have a salary it's very hard to turn down free money and you probably couldn't think of a good reason to do so anyway your employer might not be thrilled about it but why well if his employees could get money without working for it then he kind of couldn't use money to incentivize

employees to be the means to his ends anymore at least not without offering a better deal free money would drive up the price of employment that said we're probably not in danger of that happening anytime soon by the same token it's extremely hard for a man to turn down a woman who is offering herself to him of course the socially acceptable thing for him to say is oh no thanks I already have a woman so I already have enough woman thanks they probably turn down women significantly more often than women turn down money however it's

very very very hard to do so and of course it doesn't always happen his woman might not be thrilled about it but why well if men could get sex without working for it then women kind of couldn't use sex to incentivize men to be the means to her ends anymore at least not without offering a better deal free sex would drive up the price of commitment do you understand and that leads me to my final Point women let's say that you've worked hard for your money and you want to enjoy the fruits of your labor

for many years to come I decide to consult with a financial advisor on how best to invest your hard-earned cash do you think that advisor would ever under any circumstances ever counsel you to put all of your money in One stock of course not no one in their right mind would advise you to do that the advisor would tell you to diversify your portfolio because in case the market goes south you're not going to be completely taken to the cleaners do you see the diversification of your portfolio is an essential component of husbanding your finances

properly what a strange coincidence that that word would show up into that context huh by the same token a lot of men let's say diversify their portfolios with women ladies it's not personal in fact if you can look at it objectively it's kind of the rational move just like it's not really prudent to invest your life savings in only one stock a lot of men correctly see the risk of investing entirely in one woman especially if that woman could leave at a moment's notice with no real recourse and I'd like to argue that this is

potentially as much a part of man's nature as it is a part of woman's nature to choose the best available compensation package or to leave a pre-existing position for a better offer shaming and blaming either way does little to change reality contrary to what the internet will tell you a man is not necessarily a narcissist if he has more than one woman he could be but he's not necessarily according to one study link in the pinned comment below 46 of men 46 percent admitted to maintaining a sexual relationship with more than one person during the

same time period and that's just the percentage of men who admitted to it on the contrary epidemiological studies approximate that about five percent of all people are narcissists when men have other women they don't do so because they're pathological how can it be abnormal when half of men do it when men have other women they do so because it's really really hard to turn down free money and it's really really stupid to invest all your money in one stock ladies the more you look at how you treat your own money the more you'll understand how

men are going to treat you and the more you accept reality the more things start to make sense the faster you start to heal and the sooner you start to get what you want I know it's hard to see things from the perspective of the other side but trust me it is worth it to make the effort what do you think remember to be respectful and let me know in the comments below thanks for listening