How to lead your woman: lessons from the front

I'm Dr Orion terban and this is psycha Better Living Through psychology and the topic of today's short talk is how to lead your woman at this point in my life based on both my personal and professional experience I can state with a high degree of conviction that sexual relationships between men and women tend to thrive when the man is confidently and respectfully leading the relationship that said in today's day and age it can be difficult for many women to follow follow this is because they believe that if a man leads they will need to submit

to male Authority and while this isn't entirely untrue it is invested with a fear that may not be wholly justified in many cases it may even be in the woman's best interests to follow however the men in question need to approach this with sufficient knowledge and tact in order to allay their anxieties in today's episode I'll be speaking to Men on how to do just that there are two things that men have to do in order to lead their women and since leadership is so important and obvious in a military context I'll be making a

number of analogies to that discipline in this talk to explain these core principles first and foremost men if you want to lead your woman you have to be more competent than she is like you have to be the better leader or else why the are you in that role and this is actually no small thing as there are many very competent and capable women out there as women continue to develop their own competencies the bar is constantly being raised for male leadership good like a little healthy competition never hurt anyone ladies I want you at

your best because as far as you can go I can go further as high as you can climb I can go higher and as good as you can I can be better if you're tough I'll be tougher if you're brave I'll be braver if you're kind I'll be kinder like I will justify my leadership by being at the very least just a little bit ahead of you and the better you are the more powerful the go for my own self-development which is wonderful really like I wouldn't be the man I am today without your often

ruthless discrimination and this in my opinion is the only legitimate basis of any leadership Merit so the best way to get a woman to accept your leadership men is to become men worth following because in the absence of that how do those without Merit attempt to secure obedience by reminding others of their place of authority in the military this is called pulling rank which is when you remind someone beneath you in the chain of command that you're their Superior officer and they have a duty to obey you like no Commander actually wants to have to

do that because if he has to resort to that tactic it means that he has lost the hearts and minds of his soldiers who no longer see him as a leader and follow him out of loyalty why would you need to remind your subordinates that you're their Superior like why would they have forgotten what's more pulling rank generally just increases resentment in your subordinates now the equivalent to pulling rank in sexual relationships is insisting that women should follow you just because you're a man this is arguing that women have some kind of moral obligation to

obbey you because you have a dick my dudes they do not have such a moral obligation like that only works in some very specific religious traditions and both parties need to be consenting participants in that tradition for that to work it also begs the question why would you need to remind your woman that you're the man like why would she have forgotten insisting that women should obey you just because you're a man is kind of like I don't know a medical doctor insisting that everyone should uncritically follow his advice because he's an authority like that

I'm not an idiot give me a reason to obey you show me that your leadership is necessary or prudent or wise and I will follow enthusiastically if the only argument you can give is your ascribed position then it's probably best that you remain quiet for the time being work on capturing hearts and minds and you will never have to remind people of whatever Authority has been ascribed to you because at that point your Authority has actually become very tenuous so that's the first thing if you appreciate the insights on this channel I would highly encourage

you to get your hands on a copy of my book the value of others over the course of 432 pages I delve deep into my economic model of relationships and explain the behavior of both men and women in the game of mating and dating I also provide a lot of actionable advice on how to get and keep more of what you want in the sexual Marketplace once you read the value of others you'll never look at relationships the same way again now available in ebook audiobook and paperback formats the links are in the description the

second thing that's important for men to appreciate with respect to leading their women is the necessity of understanding Their audience in a military context this means never giving an order that either cannot or will not be obeyed follow that rule and you will never have a problem with obedience ever now there's obviously two parts to that so let's break it down the first part is to never give an order that can't be followed this is really important officers need to understand the skill sets the talents and the liabilities of those under their command why tell

the Gunner to patch up the wounded or order the medic to pick up the machine gun like in the absence of dire necessity that's a very stupid idea the person you are commanding literally might not be able to do the thing you are commanding them to do and becoming more forceful in your commands isn't going to change that with respect to sexual relationships the Trap here is to think that your woman should be able to do this like what's your proof of that on some level when leading a woman you have to act like a

good coach a good coach deeply understands the skill level of those he coaches and he encourages them to go just a little bit further than what they've shown themselves to be capable of in the past the total scope of what can be achieved is not bounded by what has already been accomplished it also stretches a little bit past that and this is why people benefit from good coaches they help them grow and succeed at higher levels and when a coach helps bring out the best in us we are very grateful for that coach's presence in

our lives we follow them less because they're the the coach and more because following them has proven to be beneficial to us so a good order must be within the realm of possibility given an accurate understanding of the abilities of the person in question and the second part of this piece of advice is to never give an order that won't be followed and this really has to do with understanding the current circumstances you're passing through like a good coach knows when to push his athletes it's not really for the athletes to decide it's for the

coach to decide and the coach also knows when to give his athletes deep rest after that kind of activity a bad leader is a slave driver who just whips and whips and whips to ensure that his commands are followed a good leader knows when to give rests and rewards and praise the leader who doesn't is a tyrant and a tyrant will grow to be hated if possible you never want to get into a power struggle with your woman this is because you don't have any real recourse like in the military at the end of the

day you have the capacity to execute a punishment on insubordinate who decide they will not follow an order and have become disobedient however in a voluntary consensual at will romantic relationship you can't really do that in fact you can really only do that in romantic relationships through emotional manipulation which people do all the time but which I think lacks in integrity and ultimately degrades the quality of the relationship in my opinion it's better not to ask a woman for anything she's not willing to do and if you think Orion well why the would I be

in a relationship if she's not willing to do the thing that I want her to do and I would answer yeah why the would you be in that relationship my dude go out and find someone who wants to do the thing you want them to do like that's the secret as I say in my book 90% of a successful relationship is selection find the woman who enthusiastically wants to do what you want her to do trust me she's out there though you may have to improve your value proposition to find her and you may be

able to find her in today's day and age though you will still need to sift through a lot of chaff to discover her and there it is gentlemen to lead your woman you need to be more competent than she is and you need to learn how to give orders that neither cannot nor will not be disobeyed good luck out there soldiers what do you think does this fit with your own experience let me know in the comments below and please send this episode to someone who you think might benefit from its message as it's Word

of Mouth referrals like this that really help to make the channel grow and anyone looking to join my free Weekly Newsletter or book a paid consultation can do so on my website links are below as always I appreciate your support and thank you for listening