getting friendly with the lads | The Office

it's a little bit different now though because um Gareth is not a general manager as such like I was when I was here I was sort of omnipotent and uh is doing a much more water down version of the that was just because of your redundancy thing they couldn't call the job the same thing and he sued them so did you win oh yes had to pay you off didn't they yeah out Court settlement so quite a lot of money K wasted most of it though I didn't waste it tell her what you spend it

on I released my own single so if that's a waste of money but it is a waste of money because you didn't even get in the top 100 good didn't want it to next how much did that cost put out a single uh cost is a bit misleading because um I I was paying for everything I paid for the studio time PR cost all myself roughly how much do you think you spend roughly £42,000 uh you know that's that's all outgoing so that's not taken into account the money I made from the singles sold so

uh you know how much did you make um well cuz I had my own record label J to position records um I was taking the line share so I was making a clear1 profit for every single sold how many records did you sell uh 50 something like that the overall sorry 150 that was mainly to friends and family and people in knew and they're only buying them out of sympathy definitely not so he's I bought five out of sympathy no you bought them for your mates so they're still in the garage what if you don't

know me by now you will never never never know me ooh all the things that we've been [Music] through you should understand me like I understand you now girl I know the difference between right and wrong oh I ain't going to do nothing to break up a happy [Music] home oh I don't get so excited I get home a little late at night cuz we only act like children when we argue fuss and Fire if you don't know me by now if you don't know me you will never never never know me no you won't

no if you don't know me by now well if you don't know me will never never never know me know you you won't okay hello everyone um for those of you that don't know me my name is Neil Godwin H Neil hello for those of you that do know me keep stom um I'm a man of Simple Pleasures I don't need lovely houses beautiful girls and classy restaurants so it's a good job I move to slow no it's great to be in slow really it is I've just spent a year in Beirut now I know

David is feeling a bit worried about taking on all these new staff because as manager it's going to mean a lot more responsibility he'll now have to delegate twice as much work but but there will be perks for him I'm sure he's looking forward to having a whole new group of men Underneath Him Anyway here's the man at the top of the pile David Brent right you know you were saying there about me being the top of the parliament right saying I'm gay right I'm not gay in fact I can honestly say I've never come

over a little queerer that's get the real that's the real that was just it was putting me off welcome to slow to the to the new people uh my name's David Brent and um I've always been in the paper industry haven't I yeah my um parents owned a paper shop until it blew away paper one that okay yeah I'm not I'm not used to public squeaking I piss pronunciate a lot of my worms do you know that's the two run is you know that that that is classic stuff turn the phone off that's part of

it if you're not concentrating you're not going to enjoy it as much Focus okay anyway good to have you all here from swinden cuz I hear they dropped an atomic bomb on swinden about 15 quids worth of damage right okay that's right oh it's good job Eric hitchmo isn't here CU you know what he'd say I don't agree with that in the workplace wouldn't he oh imagine if uh Eric was a Los Angeles detective be a bit weird wouldn't it um yeah one final thing my wife loved you but I don't agree with that in

the workplace what's that Eric you've given up being a Los Angeles detective and you started running a hotel in t yes don't mention the War I mentioned it once but I think I got away with it I don't agree with that in the workplace I don't agree with that in the workplace do you not know who Eric HMO is who's been to the commentary conference right so do you not know Eric HMO well yeah but I didn't know he s like that talks exactly like that D Gareth I prefer the stuff you do about his

little hand I don't do stuff about his little hand you do the wanking CLA don't has everyone heard of Harry Enfield has everyone heard of Harry Enfield yes right then okay then who's this I do not believe you wanted to do that only me oh come on TR nuts um thank thanks David huh thanks whatever just okay there's uh there's plenty of wine and and snacks uh left through there so if you you want to help yourself to do anything else through thanks so so if you want a really good pie the gardeners it's been

a wash out in it yeah I don't know why I bought it if uh no one else is going to make the effort you know we have made the effort huh we have made the effort yeah I'm I'm going to got you it's just obviously the best people haven't turned up and it's just I'm going to shoot off back to the office see all right what are you doing laugh oh yeah yeah Pi can laugh in public lunch time selfish bit dangerous isn't it in an office you want to want to work maybe you should

work as it's quter past 2 yeah all right we're just finishing off now yeah we're just finishing off just want to be popular as the new boss oh love me pathetic um well I think we should uh call it a day there Tim do you mind putting those away guys can we go back to work um please sorry David can I have work please you want um I'm confused I don't know what just happened there but obviously you've got a problem with something what is it no time for work wasn't it that's what you say

let work instead of knucking around the office see your attitude confuses me if you don't want to tell me what the problem is then fine but don't speak to me like that in front of Staff okay cuz you're acting like a petulant Kid Young at half if you've got a problem come and speak to me but don't stand out there and embarrass me and yourself because I will not stand for it okay I've been trying to be nice I've been trying to deal with this situation delicately because I I was mildly embarrassed that we were

equivalent and now I'm your boss but that's the deal live with it I don't let anyone talk to me the way you just did not my staff not my boss no one and certainly not you do you understand yeah do you understand good look you're a good bloke Dave and if there's a problem I'd rather discuss it sensibly and have to have these little chats all right Shake on it great thank you I'll see you guys later okay all cheers NE have a good night did you hear that did you hear any of the conversation

there no I just out with Neil he showed his true colors didn't he what you mean he's seems like a good BL what you think oh bet better not say anything then watch your back just like you off what slagging you off yeah with me personally yeah yeah with just me yeah and you slagging all you off what' you saying just going oh you a lot of rubbish I was going a lot of rubbish you're sing a lot of [ __ ] and he got got aggressive and I went berserk did you hear if I

had need to come through that wall I don't know he's pretty trim mate yeah I gu it's karate so David what did he actually say about us just like like can you laugh you s little slugs a little slugs with no personality and just jealous that we're better at everything than you I'll tell you what a serious night if it did kick off do get out I don't want you not getting it it's not worth it I'll just step in if you want let's be big boy [ __ ] M cheers use it one hit

him really hard above the ears caus a vacuum in the brain kills him instantly I wouldn't want him to die I'd want to keep little [ __ ] Al with the [ __ ] I was going to put on him I'm going to phone D no I'm going to write things for you to say come here and then I'm going to phone David and I want you to say exactly what I write down okay no way you make me sound like a bender no look I swear I won't it'll just be no it'll just be

funny things it'll come out cute I'm not I'm not going to say anything that makes me sound like a Bend hello hi it's Gareth hi I'm in a meet a moment Gareth yeah um just GNA say a few things right you're you're doing a great job okay just an employee saying what a superb job I'm doing is that it no no I like your little beard okay is that it one one more thing what um you should wear tighter trousers can I give you a call back yeah bye was that was genius thank you genius

[Laughter] genius brilliant we have a website with profiles of all our speakers on them would you mind answering a few questions no go for it okay if you could have a working lunch with anyone living or dead who would it be Martin Luther King and the Dalai llama and Ry Bremner just to cuz they get a bit heavy couldn't they two of them and need lien things up probably do impressions of them and me what's your biggest disappointment alt and Towers oh I've never been it's rubbish next hello oh yeah still doing practical jokes trying

to do some work now should be giving them a rest I got some yeah what' you got oh what I used to do L what were they oh but you know we can we could think of some we could yeah absolutely we could think some new ones yeah okay let's think of some good ones for for H what about Gareth Poss it's about time he had some tricks played with him I think what would your motto be well I've noticed that some bosses are intimidated by training their staff up too well they don't I don't

mind it I actually like my staff to be better than me that way you know it keeps me on my toes so my motto would be be careful cuz there's always someone ready to step into your shoes and do your job better than you do it he I'm gluing the phone in the name of fun he will hate you you go this you cooked it sorry it's just a little little birthday P for TR a birthday organize this over the top it how much that cost you we're paying you too much I made it myself

made it yourself every year oh B sweeten it too rich that's really hard you want taste lemon ju cake even really I prefer a FL minut