How To Write Throat Grabbing Facebook Ad Copy (Real-life Scenario)

former nfl player reveals cutthroat fitness program to get men shredded which is the best performing headline that you're running right now [Music] so this is the headline with the most amount of leads cool and i would have assumed that because that's the one also that is the most direct in terms of the big end benefit that they want um an ex-nfl player so we're clout chasing on that we're leveraging all of that credibility which is fantastic um and then he goes under oath wow like why would he go under oath like there's a lot of

intrigue around there so you've got credibility intrigue and specific benefit there's not really a surprise that's why it doesn't work where if you go back to the ads library again right my initial concern with these ones had was that like if you scroll up the top is that like for instance unleash your inner super human right that is it's more like i can kind of see that it's not just information like we are trying to sell something like if you imagine the front of a newspaper they're gonna have something that like ex-nfl pro like getting

men in crazy shape right something like that they're probably not gonna run a headline like unleash you're super human because it's not advertorial it's selling whatever the brand that they'd be featuring yeah and that they don't like to cross those lines just making it more in line with like this is a viral news story that i'm gonna be reading that still has the end benefit so by having fight club ready um and then also having ceos and a-listers it's not as good as your best performing headline from a creative that's speaking to like all men

that want to get shredded and it's also specific it's not we're not being cute around like fight club ready right and you probably have done that because you don't want to use the word shredded right because it is risky i'm i'm with you on that so that's the first thing i would try to make something i would prob i probably wouldn't do the 90 days i'd probably put incredibly fast or something like that um and then allow the vsl to talk about the specific terms or getting shredded faster than anything because that's also a not

a very specific thing or even ex-nfl player goes under oath about brand new shredding system right again it's just like it's not as strong as the the 90 days but it's more compliant it still has that the entry and benefit as well yeah it does um and then let's look at your lead-in copy yeah so this is the one that is best performing and i wouldn't have guessed that i i really think that we can outperform that this is the daily reminder that kids don't care about the ceo status like for me that doesn't have

any relevance to the claim that we're making like i know his whole thing is that like um you know building yourself into the better man that your wife loves and that your kids respect that's the secondary thing that they probably that's a justifying selling argument rather than the main thing that they want and look the numbers are going to tell us but i would i would run one that's more along the lines of like you know if you've done intermittent fasting if you've done cardio if you've done paleo if you've done like the classic bodybuilding

three day split if you've done f45 in this but no matter what you've tried you've never been able to get into the best shape of your life well i can tell you that that it's not like your fault and i would i would have the primary selling argument about getting into the best shape and i would split test that against this whole like you know chasing your wife around the bedroom and the kids looking up to you and all of that kind of stuff so like with a leading such as if you've done intermittent fasting

cardio payload that sort of stuff yeah is that what we don't even need to say if you've done we can just go paleo keto it's intermittent fasting because they're all stuff that will like capture that attention you know high protein three-day bodybuilding split like that's gonna be like yeah it's getting everything that everybody's talking about i think it's just like that first attention grabbing like a couple of lines that really draws in the prospect and it's way more important than the body copy is the lead so we spend a disproportionate amount of time on it

yeah okay right um and then just thinking about like well what kind of offers is this market that i'm going to be targeting what are they getting hammered with what they're getting saturated with right what works the best in in this space um the xnfl angle is phenomenal right goes under oath is also incredible so all of that stuff is really really good um and then just yeah the lead-in's nowhere near gripping enough so what do you think about when you think about that first line right from it i just think about grabbing them by

the throat and sucking them in so like one way is going to be through like having the identity triggers of paleo intermittent fasting keto and stuff um and another one might be like i hear it every day dot dot dot right um you know it's my genetics or i no matter what i do i've got this stubborn x that i can't lose weight you can't say fat of course but i'm just rifting i would make a complaint i worry about making complaint after i've actually gotten the copy out right um i hear it every day

you know basically people saying like i tried this and it didn't work and it's just like a gripping thing like what is that conversation that is going on inside the mind of my prospect i know that this isn't the first exercise or fitness program that they've started so for to me to pretend like it is would be stupid right so i know that they are already going to come up with excuses in their mind of why this is like something that they've seen or heard about before and it's my job to convince them that this

is a new wife offer it is new unique easy exciting predictable and huge um and i start off by the dialogue that's going on in their head that's what the you know the 600 men that i've helped transform their lives also told me what i learned from being on the front lines working with like the leading athletes in the country is that da da da da and then go into your big system and how is it unique from all the other fitness stuff that's out there right now how is it different that's the major thing

that you're going to need to address because you've got a huge big dominant big benefit that that market wants which is to get shredded right so it's a huge mass market offer that that you do have um naturally the biggest problem that we're going to have is people actually believing us they're not going to it's not going to be a problem is is there a desire for this there is a proven it's the biggest one of the biggest markets you can ever have something in so we're all sorted on that front you know it comes

down to reading like news sites and seeing copy that grabs you and sentences and little things that wink at you and get you intrigued and like just be like curious about like the stuff that people are sharing with you and what gets your attention the reason that like the people say oh this is clickbaity it's like well what like what is the opposite of clickbait it's having something that no one would want to click on so that's the last thing that i would want on my it's like i want my to have a bait that's

going to get someone to click like that's what we're actually trying to do so that's why when you look at the reason that when you're looking at click bait that works it's like well it works it's because it gets people to click it so it gets people to click it that's what i'm trying to do so how do i put that in there and make it look less spammy and use our whole like king kong format of like big benefit plus click click bait right to have that that really good hook that we need it

to they don't tell you the whole story and that's the whole goal just to get you on that grease slope to read the rest of the body copy um so one of the ones that i'm running right now as an identity trigger on one of the free reports is like i would give anything to finally find out how to rank at the top of google because i know that people do and they google it all the time and they're googling their brand name and they wonder why their competitors above them so there's like a big

huge amount of intrigue so whatever that is for my market you have to obviously think about what that is for for what you're doing well the guys that you're speaking to they're out of shape they've tried multiple different things before they've put on weight with lockdowns these are all the things they think that this doesn't work or they might think yeah it's all good for this dude he's a freaking nx nfl athlete like what about me like i'm an i.t manager so like you know talking addressing all of those concerns but it's just about finding

ways to grip them in and you only know that by you know when you write all the body copy like what we just did with sophie's and we found that the second the second line was way better than the first so we just chop out the first line and you'll find like those points within your body copy that are really great and usually the lead is this it's hidden in the body copy and then you just move it up but yeah spending a lot of time on that but i think that just making these more

more intriguing um and and definitely more specific like there's this we've got we're sending two different messages one message on the lead-in is talking about how their children is looking at them or how their wife is looking at them and then on the other one we're talking about like getting shredded and there's like a super human have it all aligned on one and see how that performs for you okay amazing thank you so much hey guys if you're enjoying these videos please like subscribe and hit the bell button as we're dropping a video like this

every other day on youtube and if you've got any questions just leave a comment below with hey sudbury and i will do my best to get to it [Music] you