The Money Expert: How To BREAK The Poverty Cycle & Be A 9-5 Millionaire | Budgetnista

I always say if you can make 20 you can make 200 if you can make 200 you can make 2,000 you can make 2,000 you can make 20,000 because it's cumulative learning so if you don't start with that 20 you're not going to get to that 20,000 if you're looking for a side hustle then you're going to look for the skill set that you can monetize as quickly as possible I call it simple and soon what can we get up and running like in 48 hours if you're at your current job now are you making

yourself Ultra valuable or are you complain I hate this place which I can understand you can hate this place and still make yourself valuable so you can get paid more or get paid more someplace else you know we have a lot more power than we give ourselves credit for and so many people leave so much power on the table and when you leave power on the table you leave money R 69% of households have less than $1,000 in emergency savings what do you see as like the main reason why people are underwater or they feel

such a pressure when it comes to their finances well one I would say that okay one thing before we get into the show I just want to say a huge thank you eight months ago I said that I had this crazy goal of hitting 100,000 Subs on this channel at the time I had 600 and I did not imagine that the show would take off in the way that it has and let me tell you this last year it's been an absolute roller coaster there's been so many ups and downs but here's been the one

consistent thing I want to keep making this show better for you so here's the deal please subscribe to the channel and in return we're going to continue to scale the production scale the guests scale the marketing every little aspect of what we do to make this a better show for you so please subscribe help us hit that 100K dream and back to the show in 2019 you signed a law or you helped sign a law in New Jersey that made it mandatory for financial education to be integrated into all middle schools in New Jersey MH

and so I wanted to start by just explaining to any one that's listening what's the value in their life of being good with money so I was fortunate to grow up learning about money at home so my mom kind of taught us the Practical components of money like so both my parents are Nigerian my mother's a master at um negotiating like she's not paying full price even if it's Macy's you know um and then my dad was a CFO and an accountant and had his um Bachelor in um finance and his Masters in economics and

so we just learned about money my sisters and I it just was it wasn't something that we thought about it was just something that always came up you wanted to buy something they would always be teaching a lesson about money um and for me what it did is that it built a foundation Where I Was Not Afraid of money I was not afraid to learn I was not afraid to navigate um and it created a space where like the knowledge base started early I knew how to budget I knew how to save I knew how

to dig my way out when I made mistakes and I thought well what if other kids could have what I had coming up like how different would that be um and so at the time um my friend her name is Angela V mcnight she was an assembly woman and uh she had taken one of my financial education classes um and then she got appointed um or elected assembly woman I'm in Jersey City and she said my first order of business Tiffany is I want some sort of financial law or Bill can we talk about it

and I said sure and so we started meeting and I told her you know as a former school teacher this is what I think it ought to look like and so we start to put together some of the words meet with um other stakeholders like superintendents and and teachers and things and it took uh just about three years and the bill got presented and voted on and it passed it's um um law a414 the budget needa law and so it wasn't honestly um colum it wasn't until because you know you do a thing but sometimes

it doesn't absorb it wasn't until my neighbor Rihanna I was hanging out her house um she has a daughter Olivia who is in middle school and she was doing her homework and sometimes I would help Olivia with her homework so Olivia was struggling and Rihanna said why don't you ask Miss Tiffany to help you I said sure sure sure tell show me I was on the couch and I was like wait you you have money homework why you you have money homework oh my God that here Olivia who I love so much this little girl

is a direct recipient of that work she was doing Financial education homework and that's what I was helping her with directly because of the law I passed and so now Olivia gets to get what I got and hopefully she will be able to be even better than I am now that's special I love that you quited the budista law as well it's like paying it forward you know it's it's interesting because I think financial literacy and people not feeling comfortable or like confident in their finances is such a huge problem yeah there was some I

wanted to read out some stats actually okay so a 2023 survey found that 78% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck another stat according to the Associated Press 69% of households have less than $1,000 in emergency savings a final stat according to CNBC 34% of all Americans have zero dollars in savings and so when I even just when I read out a few of them and there's more like there's tons and tons of stats like this where when you read it it's alarming yeah and even for me personally like I've I've had so many moments where

I'm like I don't know what to do with this financial situation and so to me it almost feels like a systemic problem like it feels like such a widespread problem and I know from what you do with the book and your programs and the events that you go to you speak with so many people that have these issues that they're part of these statistics and so when you reflect what do you see as like the main reason what stands out as the biggest reason why people are underwater or they feel such a pressure when it

comes to their finances well one there's just a lack of access to culturally aligned information you know because there's so many books out there and try reading them you're like you have to have like a doctor degree in economics to understand many of these books right and so I started the budget and why I wrote geo with money is like can I create a manual a money manual that you don't have to have graduated from Harvard you know suum in order to understand so one it's like is there access to education and more and more

it's become more accessible social media with all its flaws has created accessibility to financial education not all of it's good but at least it's accessible um and now if if you were to ask me now the truth of the matter is even with financial UC ation um things are so expensive things are so expensive so for example um from 2000 from 19 uh 80 to 2020 College the expense for college has gone up 180% now wages have not gone up 180% so how does one afford College imagine how much homes have gone up they have

not kept track with wages so so how do you afford a home you will hear somebody's great grand grandma say well when I was your age I bought a house yeah Grandma it was $2 you know what I mean like compared to what you made you were making 10 and it was $2 like I literally got an email from a woman yesterday that said I am a physicians assistant and I don't know what her husband does but she said I make 175 which is good money my husband makes 80 that's $255,000 a year I live

at home with my mother in California well like ever be able to move out in what world is $255,000 not able to move out she lives in San Jose she wants to be able to buy a home I said what the hell let me see how much money I Googled how much money do you have to make in San Jose California in the Bay Area how much money do you have to make in order to afford a home do you know it said $454,000 what does that mean that your household income has to be that

the average home where she lives is $1.3 million so I thought maybe she's being irresponsible no this woman is making good money and good money is not good enough and so I think that's the new issue is that good money is not good enough and that's a problem that has to be solved to me that's a social justice problem because you do all the things you go to school you make all this money and inflation the economy has made it where it's just not good enough so something has to be done that's beyond a budget

and saved you know what I think when you explain that you're exactly correct and it leads to this feeling of like hopelessness yeah because it's not even necessarily that I screwed up all of these things and I got all of these things wrong and you know my life just didn't turn out as it as it should it's like I actually got the things right I got the job I got the degree everything was correct but it's like everything around me has changed the economy the environment the housing market the job market inflation and I think

people just feel like so many things are out of their control yeah and so later we're going to get into uh how can how can someone be good with their money in in today's Age and what that means even if they're starting from nothing but to begin I wanted to kind of go into your story okay and you spoke about you know you had these kind of early money lessons these lessons that kids in middle school are now learning because of your law you had that built into your home and so can you kind of

explain some of that if I wanted to understand your early context with money and finances what are some of the kind of key experiences I would need to know okay quick break one of the most annoying things when you watch business content is you hear these great ideas about how you can make more money or start this amazing side hustle only to find out that in order to get started you need to invest 10,000 15,000 even $220,000 first I remember I found it so frustrating because I didn't have that when I I was getting started

with my business and that's why I'm so excited to introduce the sponsor of today's episode our friends at the premium ghost Writing Academy now the academy was founded by Dicky Bush and Nicholas Cole two people that we've actually had on this show before and they've built successful ghost writing businesses to over $3 million in revenue and using what they learned they've helped hundreds of other people build their own ghost writing businesses and now they're giv away a free 5-day email course to help you build a profitable ghost writing side hustle and here's the key part

without any upfront investment or having to build an audience online first you can get started right away and it's going to teach you how to find and land high paying ghostwriting clients and charge premium prices even if you've never ghostwritten for someone else before and the thing that really I love about this program is that Dicky and Cole made it so easy to get started and here's the key when you get started you build momentum and when you build momentum you achieve outcomes you never even dreamed of so go to the link in my description

sign up for this free 5-day email course it's going to get you started with ghost writing and thank me later now back to the show probably um there's a few things that I remember and some things I remember remembering because I was so young so so my first memory of money was I probably was maybe four or five um so I grew up in a household where there's five girls so I'm one of five and my parents and so we didn't have much money even though my dad was an accountant my mom was a nurse

with five kids it it doesn't go as far as you think so we were probably lower middle class maybe even lower than that if I'm thinking back on it um and during the summertime we we I mean every child that I know of loves ice cream and so in order to mitigate the cost of ice cream my dad would do an ice cream day which meant that on your day you could get a dollar everybody else had to come inside and get ice cream from the freezer you know so he wanted us to feel special

like oh the ice cream truck is here you know I'll give you a dollar um and so my day I'm the second born um was Tuesday and so we're playing outside I hear the ice cream truck I run inside because I know if I don't know anything else I know today is my day um but I also had a water issue where I used to love love the sound of running water I was funu before funu was a thing apparently um and so I used to literally turn on the water and like if you turned

it off I mean I don't know if you're familiar with like toddlers they I mean you think you're tough they're tougher so if you turned off my water it's gonna be a problem in this house and so my parents are like what do we do Tiffany like we cannot afford so for Tiffany had the water running and then she had to meltdown every time we try to turn it off um and so my dad figured out very quickly that he had to make What mattered to me matter to What mattered to him matter to me

financially I don't care about the water bill what does that mean when I'm four or five what I care about is my ice cream so I go in for my dollar he said up so my dad is Nigerian my Nigerian e name is adoi so this is what my parents call me so he said adoi ah you just missed the water man and I was like I'm sure I was like sir I don't know what you talk about the ice cream man is about to leave that's who I'm worried about he said no I had

to give him $1 because every time you run the water we have to pay him and I was like I'm sorry what he said yes and I didn't have any money I only had your ice cream day dollar and I just remember being like I don't I don't understand he's like yes every time you run the water it costs money what is important to him and I didn't have money but I had your dollar what's important to me for ice cream so now all of a sudden guess who stopped running water because instead of like

bullying me into it I was like I could self- police because I'm like if running water means I can't have ice cream child turn the water off so I had a meltdown you know cried myself to sleep but I never ran the water unnecessarily again because I knew it meant that I might not get ice cream the next week and so that was one of my earliest lessons and um and it just stuck with me about that money does not care about you know like what you choose you just have to be more mindful of

like what's actually important to you you know like are you going to choose water are you going to choose ice cream you know so we all have these choices so even in these really hard times you know we have choices that we can make when it comes to our money what are we going to choose so I chose what was aligned to me which was I wanted to be able to have ice cream but in order to have that I had to make another Choice external which is I have to be smarter with the way

I run water and that's what it looks like to make Financial choices and how you make wise Financial choices that align with you now m you know it's interesting it's such a a relatable example I have uh a number of siblings and I know one of the things um in our household and it like frustrates the hell out of my mom is leaving the lights on yes like you leave the house and like the lights in the bedroom the bathroom everything's been left on yes and it's like your dad did such a good job of

making it relatable to you of making you feel the pain of what that is yes um I'm kind of curious when you were when you were younger growing up because you even mentioned um one of five kids there wasn't like a ton of money going around how aware of that were you because I think when we're kids it's kind of just our life we don't think about oh I got money and then the family down the road has more money or we're rich or we're poor and they're rich how aware of kind of your standing

Financial circumstance were you at an early age so I was like aware in a meta sense but not aware externally because I mean you live in a neighborhood where everyone's house is the same size your house all the other kids I I remember there's certain things that we didn't have there was a girl down the street Danielle she was an only child well she had an older brother but he since moved on um she was basically an only child and so she always got the Barbie dream house and things like that and I remember thinking

hm we I don't we don't get those things here so I was aware kind of of that and Danielle always had really cute clothes my mom was she also sewed she was a nurse but she knew how to sell my grandmother was a seamstress so sometimes she would make our clothes and I noticed that Danielle didn't have that but what I also loved is that Danielle was generous that when she outgrew them I couldn't wait for her handy down I was like don't mess that up because in two weeks that'll be mine so I was

like aware that we didn't have but I was also aware that there was still a way to have if that made sense so it didn't make me feel bad not to have um and I also remember because my dad would bring up money so if you wanted something again he would always tie it to what you know what um what was important to him and to me so for the lights he would say he would put the light bill on the dining room table the one from the month before and the current one and he

would highlight you know like it went up or it went down and if it went down he would put money into a jar for vacation and so now we're all incentivized turn off the dag on lights I want to go to Disney World you see what I mean and so I was aware of money and how it related to My Life as a kid like if I want to have these things these are some of the external choices that we have to make so I was aware that way but I also was aware that we

didn't have as much but it didn't mean that we didn't enjoy as much if that made sense there was still joy in the home so much joy like I mean you have four sisters I mean I had such a good time I lived on a kid block like for every sister there was someone who was her age and so everyone Lov to play at our house because there were so many kids there already and it was a really SA like time and so we would just be running up and down the block going in and

out of each other's homes like my parents you know didn't couldn't necessarily afford for us to have like a a crab bake or a crab boil but I remember this girl a Dary um her parents could and so when they had crabs we'd all go over there and eat but on Sundays my mom made us pancakes and I remember my friend Caroline her brother um used to come over every Sunday because his mom didn't make pancakes so he was this little boy who spoke no English from Colombia so he would just say Ola and just

wait outside and we'd open the door and Eddie would just be sitting having pancakes with us and so there was so much joy and there is this communal sharing and to me that truly is become the answer to the question that you probably ask me about what what does it look like and Community is one of them you know like how do we solve this issue and so it just goes back to community you cannot do this alone I think that's so important is that you know obviously we're going to talk about money and and

there's a reality to the world like it's just it's a bit nicer when you have money yes but it's actually the things that a lot of the times we're already born with it you know like Community Family people that we love being around us yes is actually more important it's more meaningful yes um I'm curious to understand like what were some of your aspirations at that age because I I know for me personally when you're a kid you start to have like these dreams I'm going to be a singer when I grow up I'm going

to be an entrepreneur something that you saw on TV like I'm going to be that person what was kind of some of the drive like what was the motivation what did you want to be um I always wanted to be a teacher which I became you know I wanted to be a teacher because I was bossy I can't say I'm not bossy now boss everybody at my I was bossy um and plus two I really Lov to I was a chatter box so I love that if I knew a thing I love sharing it like

I'm like if if I knew a thing I wanted you to know a thing too um and but I remember very early on I got the sense that a lot of people would know my name you know I just remember literally I had I remember having kind of like these Awakening moments when I'd be riding my bike and I just would have these moments when I'd be like one day a lot of people are got to know your name Tiffany you know I remember especially like maybe starting in middle school and then High School too

I had this weird um series of years where every time I met someone's grandmother you know they they'd be like oh this is your you know Grandma this is my friend Tiffany and they'd be like baby you know you going to be rich one day you going to be a rich lady one day and that would happen again and again and again to the point where it freaked me out cuz unrelated grandmas un you know and I just be like okay you know and so um I'm exactly the thing that I thought exactly the messages

that I got I am a teacher and I am rich um so yeah that those are my aspirations I knew very early on that I wanted to be of service that I wanted to help I grew up in a household watching my parents be of service to like our relatives back in Nigeria sometimes sending money sometimes people lived with us and I just grew up that life was about service and giving um and that like every in every blessing there's excess and so you get to enjoy whatever blessings come your way but from the excess

that that is for everyone else you know so I just always live in this like state of that there is for me and other people around me and so that has always carried me through and I think it's one of the secret sources of like the success of my business is that I always ask myself not just for me but who else too you know and so yeah yeah you know what it's so it's interesting that people like saw it in you from an early age and I'm I'm curious like in hind so so in

the in the period that you're in now in the time that you're in now with everything that's happened do you ever reflect on like what is it that they were seeing it's such an interesting thing right like you could be like a young girl and people just meet you and there's something about you that they see it 20 30 40 years into the future that you're going to achieve something you ever think about what it was yeah and I don't know CU even when so I have a um a certified financial planner anelie she's awesome

and I started working with her maybe like five six years ago and I remember at the time my business was doing okay you know I mean it was doing great but compared to now so it was doing maybe like a million dollars maybe 1.2 you know which relative to where I am now you know at the time I was like wooo we're big time um but I remember meeting with anelie so you know the difference between gross and net so the business is making like 1.2 or whatever I am not taking home 1.2 you know

maybe 200 300,000 I don't know still good money but I remember working with anelie and I was working with her because I got to a point where said I know how to make money I know how to save I know how to budget but I've never had access to this much money I'm not not really sure beyond that like Beyond putting my money in a 401k and a Roth like you know I really want to start to like maximize my potential to grow wealth and after working with me for a few months she said Tiffany

you know in the next five to 10 years or so you're going to have a net worth between 50 to100 million and I said show me the math I was like but based upon the company we're we're making 1.2 I mean maybe we might stay there which is great but that doesn't add up to 50 to 100 million and she said no no no no not based upon the company based upon you and it was those grand mothers over again I said I don't understand she said Tiffany I work with ultra high net worth individuals

who have net worth between 50 to 100 million some of them and what I see in them I see in you the way they navigate the way they show up the way they that's exactly how you navigate and show up but I couldn't believe it I remember thinking she just w't smoke up my behind cuz and now like there's a huge opportunity before me that will put me exactly in that in that position and she's right right within the time frame of what she said and I just I'm like but to your point you know

colum I don't know I'm like can you show me the mirror because I just see myself it's crazy because I just was um at this at a studio earlier today and um the gentleman asked me something like that like do you does it just blow you away where you are now and I'm not going to lie it's hard for me to conceive of what's Happening like New York Times bestseller a Netflix special you know like an online school we graduated over 100,000 students I mean my business collectively in the last 15 years has probably made

about $50 million you know um I don't see I still see myself as preschool teacher Tiffany and that's the budget needs to over there if you will I cannot wrap my mind around because how does one go from that to this you know um it's like a moonshot and so yeah so yeah when someone says that to me maybe I need to like well like I said anelie told me what she saw in me but it still blows me away because if I'm being honest I don't see that in myself you know I see someone

who has just decided that I'm G to live a life of service I'm G to try to do good work help good people and make good money and it's turned into this and some of it feels Beyond me you know and I'm just here like along for the ride in some ways no it's it's beautiful to see and not just like the accomplishment it's also that your mindset has stayed consistent of being of service to others because I think sometimes when we start to achieve all of the things that we wanted we start to deviate

away from the original Mission yeah and you know what I want to I want to go back to the original Mission because you you mentioned one of your early aspirations was just to be a preschool teacher just a teacher in general yeah yeah and and it's interesting reading the book because uh you get to a point pretty early in your career in your 20s where like you were pretty much living it out M you were a teacher a lot of these kind of Financial and money lessons that your dad had instilled in you was like

playing out in your life you had like a ton of savings so you know what just talk through that period of your life okay quick break I just wanted to say thank you to my friend Aran Hamilton and let me start by saying this as you go on this journey of trying to grow your business or your passion there are certain people that come on the journey and they just to help you succeed there's no immediate gain for them there's no payoff for them they just want to be of service and Aran has been that

to this channel she came on the show back in January and recorded one of the most popular episodes that we've ever done from there I went to her incredible conference your first million live in LA she's helped us get guests on the show she's helped me figure out things in my business she has gone so far above and beyond to help this show reach its potential and we could not have done it without her and it's not just me that she helps aren is a successful investor and author and she is building a media channel

where she breaks down learnings Concepts and actionable advice that will help you make your first million one of my favorite videos from her she explains the actionable steps you can take right now to make your first $10,000 and even how you can make your first $1,000 in the next seven days it's so good and so AR's been a huge help to this show and I want to pay it back so go to the link in my description check out her content subscribe to her Channel and tell aren that we sent you and without further Ado

back to the show what so I was financially perfect if I do say so myself and I do say so myself so um yeah I in the beginning I just listened to what my dad told me to do he said you know um make sure you say save if you're going to get a credit card um don't get one with an annual fee pay it off every month in full um save your money after college and buy a not a new car but a previously owned car so I did I remember I saved like $5,000

when I got a car no car note it meant my car insurance was lower and so I was already laying the foundation for like my overhead was low he said if you want to move out take one of your sisters with you basically so you can so and I did I remember our rent was 1,200 so divided by two that was 600 bucks a month um so these were the things I just was doing what he told me to do um and so by age 25 I had saved $30,000 I had my retirement account that

was external to my retirement account um I was making um maybe like 40 something thousand a year I had been wor teaching maybe uh three years plus or so by then and the extra money the reason I was able to save the3 is because I Babys sat and I tutored on the side and so during the summertime when we had off I would make an extra six $7,000 and I would like stuff it away um I was so cheap at one point my parents thought I was struggling financially and my dad who's never done this

gave me his credit card and said buy some clothes and I was like what he was like you look crazy and they thought I didn't have any money I was so offended but I took it and I bought I bought some clothes um and so at 25 I said you know I think I'm gonna buy a house like I mean what else can I do and so I bought a condo and I put my down payment and I was I every I everything was financially perfect my credit score was an 800 then I met someone

who I call in the book Jake the thief um and he I met him on spring break and he um I don't know he's really handsome cool um but I thought Rich because he was driving a super fancy car super fancy clothes he wasn't that much older than me probably his late 20s and I was in my you know mid 20s um and so we kept in contact and we stayed cool for like a couple years so I knew him I I by the time I invested with him I probably knew him by like three

or four years and I remember asking him Hey Jake you know you're rich obviously I've been to your beautiful Penthouse in New York I've seen your Ferrari or whatever he was driving you know can you teach me how to invest because I feel like I'm like I've got this condo I'm saving but I want to take myself to the next level and he was like all right I'll teach you how to invest the um the the key is you want to use other people's money I didn't know he met my money but and so we

I he told me do you have any credit cards I said yes I paid them off in full he said How's your credit score I said great he said I want you to open up two additional CR credit cards and pull money off these cards and I was like sure I'm stupid so I did um and it was to the tune of I don't know it's like 15 or $20,000 that I pulled off I should have known all the red flags were there um because one I remember distinctly going to the bank um on my

lunch break and um this is when I was teaching preschool and when when at the time our uniforms were nurses uniforms because they wanted you to like play with the kids and not have to worry about getting dirty so you would come in with your regular clothes change into like you know the scrubs basically and so mine was it like teddy bear scrubs with like these pink pants so I'm going into the bank saying hey I'd like to take $155,000 off this credit they thought I was being like trafficked they brought every are you okay

I was like yeah you would think the red flags were like Tiffany Tiffany and they kept me in there beyond my lunch hour because they just kept asking these questions are you okay are you been forced to do this is somebody around here I was like meanwhile just over my head like so I took the money out we had a contract and the contract was supposed to be he lived in uh Paris um because he was uh French he was African French he lived in Paris half the time and he was like we're going to

buy Commodities here and and goods here in the United States that would sell well in in France I have stores in France and we're going to buy like Levis and Chuck Taylor and things that like are very American that people really want out there and I said okay that's what we're going to use the money for we're going to ship it put it in my store and then I'm going to send you money every week and I was like well how much do you think this money will make me he said $2,000 a week which

where did even come with that number so $2,000 a week and this is a two-year contract with me I was like what I'm doing the math like I'm about to be rich so I had these credit cards now that I didn't have before and I said well since I'm going to be rich I might as well start using these credit cards forgot all the lessons that my dad gave gave me and I didn't use the credit cards to buy like clothes or things like that but I used it to buy which is turned out to

basically be a scam like a coaching program you know how like everybody has them now um but they were doing that back then too and so I bought one for about it was like a $10,000 coaching program so I went from owing nothing on credit cards because I pay them off every month to $30,000 from the cash advance that I took out you know for Jake and then this $10,000 uh program and I was happy as a clam cuz I just knew well it doesn't matter cuz I'm going to be rich um so he quickly

stopped picking up the phone week one I'm like oh maybe he's busy I know he just got to Paris week two week three month one month two so I'm calling I am calling everywhere I could find I'm like what is happening sometimes he was really terrible because sometimes he would pick up and be like oh you didn't get the money I sent it and I'd be checking like calling the bank I just wish he just would have stolen clean just go sir cuz he would pick up every once in a while to drop breadcrumbs and

then even ask for more money he's like you know what it would be even better if you send me another 2,000 you know we could do even more I'm like but you haven't given me anything so far and if I give you that money I won't be able to pay my mortgage and he'd be like well okay well you'll get more money next week and so I never got a penny he disappeared and I remember I met a friend of his who was also scammed and that's when I realized it was a scam scam so

I met a friend of his and he's like have you seen Jake I said no he's like he stole money from me I'm like me too and that's when I realized oh this is what he does this is how he got all the stuff that he had that he was just like a scammer and I remember thinking what do I do now and I felt really it I chased him down for about a year and I wish in that year that I would have aggressively tried to pay down the debt because I was working and

if I I probably could have because I probably could have just Babys sat within the inch of my life tutored and then you know because I was really good at saving um and maybe within two years I could have paid it off but I didn't because during that year I said this is not my problem this is his problem and I didn't want to take responsibility for the role that I played um so finally I said Tiffany you had to pay this debt down and that's when I found out that my job was being eliminated

I was like you got to be kidding me you know and it so and because here's the thing it was the recession it was 2019 and all my friends were losing their job and I was like oh girl sucks to be you cuz teachers don't lose their job we're essential workers apparently not so the place where I work was a nonprofit based School and they lost their funding and I remember it was three days before the new school year I got a phone call and said um you don't need to come in in three days

I was like oh well what what day am I coming in they're like no no days I was like am I being fired they're like no the school is closing I'm like wait schools schools don't close because kids have to go to school so I couldn't even wrap my mind I'm like and what was worse was that I had the summer off remember in the summer I don't get paid to teach so I was already on my last leg in the summer so I was like I can't wait wait to get my first check you

know starting September because I have not you know I was doing babysitting and teaching but um and tutoring but not enough to really cover and so I was down to my last like you know dollar and now to find out I have no job so now I owe $30,000 I find out I have no job at the time I was with my boyfriend from college for like six years we broke up and I was like and I have this condo where I'm like who's GNA pay this mortgage and it was probably the darkest one of

the darkest times I won't say the darkest but one of the darkest times because for the first time I actually felt I'm pretty I'm pretty I'm a pretty upbeat hopeful person I'm sure you could tell yeah but for the first time I was like I don't I don't know what to do there is no hope here everything is gone you know my job my money I'm about to lose this place everything is gone and I fell into a really dark depression I didn't know it was depression then um I was probably like 28 uh 29

no I remember in yeah I was 2 ate and I fell this dark depression where I wouldn't let anybody come see me I would not pick up the phone I just stayed in the dark the whole time I was not washing dishes I was not washing myself um and I just thought I was just basically waiting for them to come take the place for me you know because I didn't know what to do and I didn't want to tell anyone because I felt shame because I was Tiffany good with her money Tiffany and all of

a sudden Tiffany good with her money does not have any money um and yeah I stayed like that for some months until my best friend Linda like kind of like B guarded her way in she's like what is going on and I was like everything's fine everything's fine and then I burst into tears and she was like what happened and I said um I don't have any money I told her everything and she was like girl I thought you killed somebody what you're broke is that what you're saying I was like yes she was like

everybody's broke I was like what do you mean she was like do you know what the recession is we're in it and she cuz I had not looked up and looked around she was like girl I lost my job our other friend lost their job and this other friend lost their job and I was like wait what mhm and she was just like girl like everyone's broke so if that's what you're saying like if this is the big shame you're carrying that you're broke welcome to the broke club and I remember she said some joke

and I laughed and she laughed and I was like wow okay maybe this is not so bad that I'm not in this thing by myself and I called my oldest sister Karen and I said what should I do and she said what's the worst case scenario I said worst case scenario they come and they foreclose on my condo and she said well what do you do then I said I would just have to move back home with with Mommy and Daddy basically and she was like well why wait for that why not just move back

home now I was like oh if anybody has African parents you're like should I be homeless instead I mean don't get me wrong I mean let me not even say that because it's a blessing because everybody can't do that but I remember moving home like I brought like a lamp that I brought like you know like my comforter that I brought my mattress my dad said are you home what what what's going on and I told him well I lost I didn't tell him the rest of it I just said well I lost my job

daddy he's said okay well not too long my mother of course was over the moon my baby is back um and I remember though I my my little sister Lisa she's not little but she you know my youngest Sister Lisa um had my high school kind of like apartment because there was like a apartment in the basement um and so she had that apartment and she was like just because you're back you can't sleep here so I had to go back to my middle school room the room that I slept in when I was in

Middle School and I remember I was turning it was my 30th birthday in the evening and I was laying in the bed looking up at the ceiling in a twin bed you know that had like My Little Pony sheets or something on it from middle school and I remember thinking I was telling calling myself everything but a child of God like you're a loser look at you like oh you you got your degree and you got your Masters and nothing you have no man no money no home like you have more money with the last

time you laid in this bed when you were a 12 years old babysitting you had more money then than you have now as a grown 30-year-old woman look at you you know like it's the worst and I just remember tears streaming down my face thinking like it I don't this has got to be Rock Bottom I guess um and you know then I remember what Linda told me that I was not the only one in this position and I thought to myself okay you know at the very least when you're at your worst and you

feel like you have nothing I realized that I had to ask myself is that true so now I know now in therapy like because I've been in therapy for like the last few years but I learned this this lesson in therapy that Dr Green my therapist beautiful black woman therapist taught me that when something is happening it feels so overwhelming she's like let's acknowledge the feeling and say is it true is it true this is the brokest you've ever been yes and then she'll say okay is it the only truth available and the other truth

was I'm not homeless I am sleeping safely in my parents house what else is true well I've got friends maybe they know a place where I can work what else is true well they haven't foreclosed on my on my property yet um maybe I can rent it out in the meantime because what I didn't know is that New Jersey was so backed up because because of the recession they were so backed up on foreclosures they didn't foreclose my property for like four years so I said maybe I could rent it out and I did and

I remember telling the person renting it like look you know I can only guarantee you month-to month because I don't know what they going to do down at the courthouse but I'll significantly lower what the rent is going to be I was able to do that so it was like I had told myself I have nothing is that true do you have nothing or do you not have enough of what you like because you got this condo that you can rent out said instead of her like my I think I want to say my mortgage

was 1660 but I was able to rent it out for 1,200 and the the bank didn't want anything but 1660 so I kept the 1,200 for myself I'm like well now I've got unemployment at $1,200 a month to make my way what else do you have well Tiffany you're really good at teaching and honestly at the end of the day you are really good at budgeting and saving so I started to teach my friends how to do it and they were like you know I think people would pay you to teach them how to do

this Tiffany and what else do you have you know so I started to stack like what I did have even if it didn't seem like enough and it made it it made it enough you know what I mean I made it enough um and it wasn't a quick turnaround like I ended up moving out of my parents house and I like slept on my sister's couch Tracy um she's the Third born for a year um and while I did that I started the budista I said you know um I was afraid to go back to

teaching in the traditional sense because I saw it could be snatched away because I'm actually risk adverse people think that entrepreneurs are so brave it wasn't me being brave I said if this that is the safest job in the world and those people could take it I don't want to do that the only person I can bet on is me and so I said you know I'm really good at teaching I am really good at budgeting and saving I tried to do one-on ones that didn't work because everyone was broke and I didn't feel good

taking money from people who didn't have money um and I had to ask myself the question like dang I don't have any cont I'm like is that true you did a lot of volunteer work Tiffany why don't you hit them up and see if they want you to come and teach and the United Way someone at the United Way hit me back um in new Yark and they were like come on in and I met with this woman her name was Katherine she had just started working there she's like we're doing programming and right now

I'm teaching a financial education class and I hate it do you want to teach it I said yes she said well how much do you charge I was like uh $300 a class she was like sure I was like damn I should have said more and I taught five classes so that was $1,500 right there you know I went from there's I have nothing and is is that true is that the only truth available and it wasn't so now I was um teaching at the United Way making about $1,500 a month and I said okay

I moved out of my sister's couch and I found a room that I rented a couple of my teacher friends who were struggling as well said we found this house the lady is renting it out by the room it was in the college part of Newark cuz that's very college student thing to do but she was like it's just all teachers here we're all grown in our late 20s early 30s so we each rented a room for $500 and I remember I had bought like a this like1 19999 Toyota Camry at the time that I

paid off and so it was just me and Betsy that's what I used to call her she was this like white car um and so I'm like well at least I don't have you know I don't have um a car note for Betsy and I can mostly walk everywhere I was never fitter um and I was in the heart of Newark so I started to really build um and network to teach outside of the United Way and I started to grow my business social media started to really pop Facebook went from Facebook is only for

college students to they open it up to the broader audience and I started to use my personal Facebook page there was no business Facebook then to promote myself I changed my name from Tiffany aliche to Tiffany the budget nista aliche on Facebook and started just posting me volunteering and teaching Financial education every time I posted someone would hit me up and say can you come do this year you know know is it true is it the only truth available you have nothing you got Facebook you got an email you see what I mean you have

you know how to teach Financial education you're personable so I started to stack those things in my favor and now 16 years later here I am like living out things that I could never even a dream dream of you know what's um you know what's interesting even when I listen to you speak that feeling of like there's nothing mhm such a powerful yeah it can send you into such a Negative cycle it's a dark for so dark and it's like it's not even um I feel like typically it's when not just one thing has gone

wrong yeah it's gone wrong in different areas and it reminds me there's a there's a quote that you have in your book where you say I was in a pretty dark financial and emotional place in Rapid succession I had lost my job my savings the use of my condo my retirement and also my boyfriend I really felt like I had nothing left to hold on to I mean I had my 1999 Toyota Camry that was something but it wasn't much I just remember thinking how do you build from a place of nothing and so I

know you mentioned it but I wanted to I wanted to speak about it because I think that moment that realization of like looking around yourself and being like there's nothing here and I and I love what you explained which is like is that really true because I think sometimes we get into this self-narrative which is so negative it sends us into a spiral and we end up compounding it yes because we fall into depression we stop taking care of ourselves the few things that we do have we like sabotage them as well yes and so

I'm just I'm curious I'm like can can you really even take us into that moment what was the feeling for you like what was the day when it really felt like it was truly Rock Bottom that was in the Middle School bed on my 30th birthday cuz 30 represents full adulthood like right you're 30 years old you're grown grown grown you're not a kid anymore there's no two in front of your number so to be 30 sleeping in my middle school bed having less money than I did when I was 12 was like I not

like not forget about competing against the world I'm worse off than Tiffany you know what I mean and I just was like what is happening and I just felt ashamed of myself that's really what the feeling was it was deep deep shame you know and I just remember thinking that like like it just doesn't get low I I didn't see a way out I was just like I guess I could teach again but like it's too late for me to get a job now as a teacher because teachers it's not like working like at a

factory where you're packing boxes like you can't start the school year without a teacher so the school year so my school closed but like other schools there's not kids sitting in the classroom waiting they have to have teachers so those those jobs were already filled so I was just like what do I even do you know like it just felt like it just felt felt so shameful that I had done all the things I had checked all the boxes you know I'd gone to school I'd gotten my masters I bought a house I did all

things I did everything that they told me if you did it it works out and it was not working out um yeah and I just felt deep dark shame and I realized then that um to your point that shame Shields Solutions and so when you're in that shame even though there might be other truths available it's very difficult to see them you know because shame loves silence it Shields you from Solutions and shame is like yeah sit here with me just me and you there's nothing you can do and the only way to shake shame

is to give voice to it and it's one of the hardest things to do because you have to say the very thing you're ashamed of I had to tell my best friend Linda I'm broke I don't have this I don't have that I don't have this I broke up with Mike everything like at the time I had drained my I drained my retirement account to save the condom so I had I had maybe like 50 or $60,000 in my retirement account took the the tax hit drained it only to lose a condo so now I'm

like you don't have retirement you don't have savings you don't got your man you don't have anything and you still owe this credit card debt of $30,000 like what the entire hell Tiffany and I have student loan debt because I just got my masters thinking I was fancy so now you owe the people 50,000 you owe 250 220 on the condo you owe 30,000 on your credit card debt and you have no money whatsoever sometime people say they're broke but you're like you got $2 in your pocket no not coins in the in the cushions

nothing and so to say that out loud is so hard but it released me because shame hates it when you bring someone else in because someone else is going to bring a mirror to say it's not that bad Linda was like you ain't kill nobody right oh girl if you broke just say you broke join the broke Club it's broke time you know and so that helped me to lift some of the shame and see some of the solutions that actually have been there all this time you know you make such a I think it's

actually such a good point I love that quote of like shame love silence and it's interesting we we had a guest on a few a couple weeks ago Chris doe and he said he mentioned that like everyone's walking around with like a mask on we all have this like identity this narrative for ourselves that we've built and we portray that into the world when when you were speaking I think you said I was always Tiffany good with money yes and so it's like the real heartbreak of the situation isn't just that everything's gone wrong it's

that the identity was broken and I think we've all done this I've done it I've see a lot of people um just when I'm going around the world that are doing it which is like it's almost like the mask falls down last like your life can be in complete shambles but the neighbor still thinks that you know You' got the good job and your mom still thinks that you're good and your best friends still you're still at all the parties your the mask is still on yes and I think the I think the depression hits

where it's like the the identity is broken yeah and people find it so so difficult to like shed that previous identity and be the new person that their situation is forcing them to be you're grieving yeah it's a loss of yourself you know cuz I had measured myself based upon how good I was with managing my money and if I'm bad at managing money then Tiffany's bad you know instead of I made a mistake it's I am a mistake you know and that's not true but at the time that's what it feels like you know

what's you know what's interesting and I think it it's it's funny in a way because the solution is so simple of like when you shared it with Linda or whatever like when you shared it instantly like a burden was released but at the same time even though I say it's simple I know that there's someone sitting there watching this and for them to call their mom and let them know that they lost their job and you know they're losing their apartment feels like the most difficult thing in the world or for them to call their

best friend to call their sister to call their brother is like in a way it almost feels like jumping off a ledge to let that exact go yes and so for so for that person I'm curious like is there is there a piece of advice that you would give them of just like just take this one step and it will kind of get you back on that path of things are starting to move in that positive upward cycle again well I would ask yourself is there someone in your life that you know that really loves

you you know an adult you know that loves you somebody that really cares about you um that you feel pretty sure that like you know that they're in your corner um because that's going to be the first that's going to be the easiest person to unload some of that shame with because even though I knew Linda is like my best friend we've been friends since we were literally kids and I was still ashamed to tell her um and one of the things I learned from Dr Green my therapist is she said you know it is

the job of those who care about us to lovingly help we just refuse to ask for it and so I know know you think you're listening now I know you think everyone's busy I don't want to be a burden I don't want to the people that care about you want to lovingly help I promise you if you're like I'm looking for a sign this is the sign that there is someone in your life that lovingly cares about you and they're wanting to help even if it's just to Bear witness Linda did not give me money

she did not say sleep on my couch she didn't I needed someone to just bear witness to the thing that I was carrying around with me by myself I needed help carrying the shame and she did that and that was enough for me to then find the next solution you know and so that's just what I can say is that it's going to require a little bit of a leap for you to say you know what my neighbor she and I have been talking and I feel like I can trust her or my sister or

my best friend or my work husband or my actual husband you know or somebody you know sometime people are not not going to people slide into my DMs and they just make it me if you don't have nobody else you can make it me they slide into my DMs on IG or whatever and they'll say I have this deep star secret that I'm struggling with and I'm here to say okay I heard you like here are some resources but it's just to release it like that person didn't say you terrible terrible terrible person away with

you I think I don't know what we're expecting um but yeah it's going to take a little bit of Courage quite honestly it's going to take a little bit of Courage for you to tell that one person so they can at least bear witness you know because yes you have to give voice to this fear and this shame and because the thing about fear is that there's an African proverb that says fear makes the wolf bigger than he is right and so think about like on the other side of this door you're hearing a wolf

and you're just like you're so afraid you know it's this full grown gray wolf snarling teeth you know like dripping drool and you're like this wolf is going to tear me up only to find out when you finally open the door it's a wolf cub that is not even like you imagined that you created that story that's not true remember is it true is it the only truth available you know um and so like yeah I think getting up the courage finding that one person saying the scariest thing out loud and giving yourself um the

space to be helped by it whether if it's just like I said a listening ear or maybe a helping hand yeah you know it reminds me what you described it reminds me that this video online where it's like this kid in water and he's like crying and he's like holding on to something he thinks that he's like drowning or something yes and then he just stands up and it's like there's nothing there because we tell ourselves stories like sometimes we are committed to harming ourselves because here's the thing even like let's just say you have

nothing Tiffany what who benefits if that's true you know what I mean like do you want that to be true Tiffany that you have nothing absolutely nothing like it's like you are are committed to harming yourself because one that's actually not true and two it's like it's not even the only truth available to you and it does it's not helpful that narrative that you're carrying around we become we become really good at ruminating in the muck of it all rolling around in the mud it almost starts to feel good you know like oh my life

is so terrible nothing is good my life is so is that really true and why would you want that to be true I'd rather be delusional you know like I'd rather be delusional I I have a niece Amilia who just turned seven and she is delusional as little kids are but so delusional she gets what she wants she told me the other day like um I'd been to the White House a number of times and um most recently I was invited to the vice president's residence and she said to me auntie um because i' taken

her to Washington DC before her and her brother Roman and we were outside of the White House and she was upset because she couldn't go in and I was like you just can't just go into the White House cuz she had her arm through the gate and the Secret Service actually had to come over and tell her uhuhuh little girl so she got upset started crying she said why can't I go in I said you just can't go in the white house she said you did and I was like damn she's right cuz I showed

her picture you did and you met the president and I said but Amilia everyone can't go she said why and I thought why not so the person that invited me to the state of the union and the vice president residence whatever I said this is going to sound crazy but my niece really wants to go into inside the White House and I told her you just can't go she said oh yeah y y I can make that happen when do you want to come I said I'm sorry what the lady was like I just need

a month out you because I know if she's young I'm sure she has summer camp do you how how's it Saturday we're going to the White House the delusion of I expect great things and great things come to me Amilia lives in that delusion she'll just be like um the other day for her birthday we sang her um the the STV Wonder version of Happy Birthday I don't know if you're familiar with yeah yeah right right and she was like kids get that version she said I thought that was just for adults she thought that

that the kids get the regular happy birthday to you and so I was like no this is by a man named Stevie Wonder she said show me him so I showed on YouTube I said this is Mr Stevie Wonder and she said oh I like his music she said can you look up his mommy so he could call my mommy so he can so I can meet him and I was saidia you're not going to beet Stevie wers she was like please I said okay so he looked at his mother but his mother unfortunately passed

away so she got really sad about that and then she was just like where's he from and so stev wonder is from Detroit Michigan and she's very familiar with maps she said that's not that far we could go on the map I've seen it's not that far and I was just like ailia that girl like you're not gonna be Stevie Wonder and so just as past like I said last week I was at the vice president's residence for this black um business leadership reception this woman in a beautiful yellow dress comes up to me says

oh my God Tiffany love you so much I've been following you for the longest you know like I just love what you're doing for our community um and my friend was with her and my friend said do you know who this is and I said no so I was telling I love your dress I love your necklace she said this is Stevie Wonder's wife I said I'm sorry what I told her what my niece said and she said Tiffany why did she make a video for millia to say thank you so much and I'm gonna

tell my husband what you said and you never know maybe he'll make a video or something for you the delusion of a million is what we all need not the White House and Stevie Wonder in the same summer but that's what I mean the expectation of good things and the expectation that they will happen to you because a milia will ask for a thing that sounds crazy and yet here we are Stevie Wonder the White House and so I want to be more like MiMi you know that like because it doesn't benefit me to believe

in the darkness that nothing good happens I don't have anything it's all I just I don't want to live in that space anymore no matter what happens you know I much rather be um delusional about the good than delusional about the bad and so that's what I'm wanting for everyone listening that someone's I know right now someone say yeah but you don't understand but I but because me there's always this but my situation is different it is a lot more help it all everyone has to navigate something and your situation allthough different from mine you

are still human and everyone has to navigate something hard but not so hard that there can't be good that comes out of it you know and so like yeah cuz when I said before and you'd ask me about what was the darkest time and it at that time it was that but two and a half years ago my husband suddenly passed away like just out of the blue he had um an aneurysm so that's just like you're here literally he was here on Monday babe I got a headache I'm going to go to the hospital

gone on Thursday 41 years old 66 190 pound like fit like handsome you would never think and even from that space you know I didn't think I was going to be able to come back from that space because how do you come back from that you know we're not 80 years old and you're like okay this is an expectation although sad you know um and yeah I just I had to lean on the lessons that I learn from saying I have nothing cuz I went back to that place everything is gone this is the worst

thing that could have ever happen that's what I told myself I remember telling Dr Green this is literally the worst thing that could have ever possibly happened to me and she was just like I remember she asked me is it the worst thing and I wanted to jump through the zoom and choke her if I'm being honest cuz what's worse than that you lose your person we had a great marriage he was kind he was loving he was supportive I knew him since my 20s so this is not somebody I just met this is a

20 year you know friendship and partnership and um and I remember her saying saying like is it the worst thing cuz she was asking me the same thing is it true it's the only truth available I'm like yes it is the worst thing then I went on a year after him passing I went on this trip to Kenya and we went to this like shelter for girls um for teenage moms and it was this a nurse and her husband that created this shelter and many of the young girls in there um they were having children

but out of out of being abused you know some of them by their own family members some by their own fathers having babies and had been thrown out of the family as a result as if it's his 13y old or 12year old fault 12 years old and Pregnant and they're here there's no mattresses they're trying to figure out how they're going to fund the place how they're going to feed these girls how they're gonna and I remember this voice came in and says is it the worst thing that could have ever happened to you Tiffany

because you're is it this is it being taken advantage of and abused by a family member and being thrown out of your family you and your baby at 12 is that what happened and I thought okay is it true is it the only truth available and you know I wrote them right then and there a $10,000 check because I was just like what how can I be of service here you know what I mean and so that is what I mean about like you could ruminate in your stuff and acknowledge that like the loss of

my husband is still traumatic for me but it is not the worst thing that could have ever happened to me I still have my family I still have my friends I still have my health my husband and I were financially sound I have a stepdaughter that I'm still very close to she's actually at my condo right now like helping me like unbox some things I'm paying for college for her she's harassing me to get her Audi for her birthday I'm like girl it's not happening you know like me and her mom we always were cool

like we we co-p parented very well but me and her mom are still cool my husband had a twin brother I still get to see what he would have looked like you know because Terell is still very much my brother and comes by and fix things for me when I need to so is it the worst thing you couldn't have told me that a few years ago a couple years ago but now like I realized that like there's so much more that you have accessible to you if you're willing to see beyond what's actually happening

you know and that so for those listening who are like well that's easy for you to say Tiffany it's like I've experienced loss and Wass that most people might not ever experience and I hope that they don't and so and yet and still you know I know it's not the only truth available to me I refuse to live in that dark place yeah you know what first of all like I'm just sorry to hear that thank you um but I think one of the things and it was even in watching like even in the research

process for this episode of watching other interviews you've done and then meeting you today it's like you walk around with such a great energy and such a great enthusiasm and a humor and like a lightness and I think it is like like one of those things that's so important which is just letting go of the identity and it's it's so hard to do yeah because when these dramatic things happen in our lives when things go wrong you know what it reminds me the very first episode of this show that we released with this entrepreneur his

name is Ruben Harris and he says he goes uh rejection it's God's redirection and I you know it's it's a quote that's always kind of have come back to me because there's certain times in life where you're like this is not the way it was meant to go for me MH when I when I was envisioning what my life would be to not living in my mom's house at 25 in my case or 30 like that was not how it was meant to be or I'm married and then my husband passes away that is not

how it was meant to go and it's like it's so easy to get stuck in that reality and every time someone tries to give you a solution but it's oh no but this this happen you go right back into it yes and I think what you've demonstrated a remarkable ability to do and I think it I think it's inspirational and I I hope it resonates and it hits with someone it's the most one of the most difficult things to do which is to let that old reality go because once you let it go you can

start to see everything that you do have and then you can start to build again yes and you know what I want to I want to talk about I want to talk about that building because even at the end of that quote that I read out from your book you said I really felt like I had nothing to hold on to I mean I had my 1999 Toyota Camry that was something but it wasn't much I remember thinking how do you build from a place of nothing and so the thing I want to do is

I want to for that person and let's just assume they they finally let it go okay whatever's happened to them they've let it go and they're now in the mental space where they're they're ready to build again MH and they want the information they want the Practical information like what do I need to do how do I build and you're someone that's done it and you've done it multiple times at different parts of your life but if let's assume that someone's building from nothing and they want to get they want to get good with money

MH what would you describe as step one because I think step one is so important that's like where we start to build the momentum so what would you describe as step one where they should start well one I would say that the the the the lesson that I had to learn and they have to learn is that you're actually never building from a place of nothing you know like that was that's the key that it's not nothing because you read this book right oh you can see oh you can read is that nothing you know

what I mean so one is that understanding that you're not actually building from a place of nothing so let's gather the resources that we do have you know it might just be a 99 Toyota Camera it might be a couch it might be a rented room but let's gather those resources and take a look at them because it's important for you to see it's not nothing it might not be enough but it's something um two it is to forgive yourself because shame is there as a result of that you are angry with yourself typically because

you haven't quite lived up to whatever that thing is and now your mask has slipped you're angry typically with yourself is to forgive yourself and let yourself know like I did the best that I could with the knowledge that I had here I am and then three once you start to look at your resources it's like okay some of the resources are do I have any income coming in do I have access to any income if you don't have any income coming in then we have to figure out how do we create income you know

coming in what am I really good at um one of the things I look for when I'm trying to make any sort of money on the side is I ask myself do I have anything that my education will allow me to be paid more or do I have experience where I don't have to learn a new skill because now is not the time for you to you know to to figure out something new it's like okay I used to be a teacher oh I can babysit who doesn't want a former teacher babysitting oh I could

toot her you know so I'm like I'm pulling out skill sets because it's not nothing we have something I'm you know now that I've gathered all the resources that I do have access to how can I how can I um um monetize those things do I have a car am I able to Uber you know so I'll give you an example of a I remember I met this gentleman in Atlanta who was a Uber driver he had like a computer next to him and when he was like he picked me up he put something in

the computer when he dropped me I was like what are you doing he was like I lost my job I'm a status a statistician statisti somebody who works for stats a data person and I said oh so you're doing like data stuff he said I realized that like he said I've been I was doing Uber for six months and I just felt like I wasn't as efficient so I said what if I started to collect data on my Uber rides and I said okay tell me more he said so every Uber ride I would collect

data about where I putk the person up where I dropped them off what was the weather how much I made per stop and he said and I realize in this area on rainy days I make four times the amount I don't need to go out every day if I work just these rainy days it actually means I could be home more than half the time he gathered his resources I know data and so that was one of the things it's like I have nothing no no no you have your data mind he using that I

couldn't believe I said well how much did you make last year he said $70,000 I was like what and he said now with the excess I've started to invest so you imagine the rich Uber driver because he recognized that like I lost something but not everything and so that's what I mean what is your I know data what is that thing that you could put to work and monetize that thing so you can have income starting to come and everyone has something I don't care maybe you're just you may you're really good at cooking you

know maybe you're like you know what I always really pretty good at cutting hair you know maybe I have seen this like um I remember I used to go to this local Auto Zone where I live in New York and there were outof work mechanics in the parking lot that would like do M minor fixes for you and I remember thinking like that was genius cuz I mean I'm coming out I don't know how to put the light bulb in my car I don't know how to you know change my tire whatever I was going

to and they would do it right there with their tools right there in the parking lot I'm like to find their perfect audience because I lost everything did you lose everything CU you still know how to fix cars right well I'm going to go to AutoZone and do it right here you see what I mean and so that's why I would tell people who are feeling like Financial Rock Bottom is they're going to have to ask themselves what tools and resources do I still have available and how can I start to monetize them in ways

that are creative if the traditional ways are not available to me anymore yeah you know what so um in the book you have the the section where you say like the do and for the so for increase your income you have maximize your earning potential at work assess your skills decide which of these skills you can monetize put a number on it and decide what's your income potential and I love what you just described because I think it's something really practical that people can do which is a lot of the time and I think sometimes

people get frustrated with like personal finance advice um because they're like really I just need more money like I can save the heck out of this but like I need more money and it's almost this I think the underlying feeling is I need something which I don't have right now and I like what you described because it's like well why don't you just put out a sheet of paper and start to just observe your life yes like what are you already doing because a lot of the times and I've fallen into this cycle is we

take for granted our own skills yes and we just we think that like everyone can do that no everyone can't I don't do light bulbs in car that does not go well I mean you look at kids kids are like the best place to learn right you will see like a 14-year-old who has his dad's lawn mower walking up and down the street to ask to mow Lawns they're not hung up on oh and they're like no I got a lawn mower and and I got a strong arm that's it I made $100 today or

you see kids with their with their um lemonade stand you know I've got $10 of lemonade mix and and water or whatever that's it sometimes we over complicate of like oh well no no what do you have put those two things together put it to work will it I remember I had a friend who was like out of work and they're like oh it's only going to make me $200 it's 200 more than you had it's 200 more than you had sometimes we get hung up on that too like it's not enough well it's way

more than you have now you start with two if I always say if you can make 20 you can make 200 if you can make 200 you can make 2,000 you can make 2,000 you can make 20,000 because it's cumulative learning so if you don't start with that 20 you're not going to get to that 20,000 you know so it's like maximize the skill set that you currently have and if you do have a job like how do you make yourself so invaluable they find the money for you you know and if they don't find

the money for you that you're so invaluable that you can go someplace else I have a woman on my team her name is IESA when she first started I think she was doing like customer support or something like that IESA is like I don't even know she's like a savant because anything you put in front of her she GNA figure it out so like Aisha started off like um um doing like I said customer support and then I heard that she really wanted to do some project management I said well help me manage the launch

of Geo money she's like well I've never done that before I was like well we'll learn together she slated because New York Times eight weeks on the New yor Times bestsellers list um then aesa started managing other projects for me and I so we hired this Tech Team something was wrong with the the website but it was the weekend and nobody was available and so aesa said I could take a look she figured it out I said how she's like I don't know she's like I was watching a YouTube video and I was playing around

with it and so every time I turn around IESA is collecting a new skill set that makes me say please God don't iisha leave me you know so because here's the thing even if I didn't have the money to pay Aisha what she wanted she now has the skill set where she can now go someplace else and get paid what she wants you know what I mean and so like if you're at your current job now are you making yourself Ultra Ultra valuable or are you complaining I hate this place which I can understand you

can hate this place and still make yourself valuable so you can get paid more or get paid more someplace else you know we have a lot more power than we give ourselves credit for and so many people leave so much power on the table and when you leave power on the table you leave money on the table you know I think I think it's such good advice which is like um I remember someone told me this when I was working they were like you just want to make your manager's life easy yes so just pay

attention I think a lot of things actually in life can be solved by just paying attention like what are the what are the pain points what are like the consistent things that are difficult for them you master how to do it you keep acquiring those skills I'm curious to get your because I know that there's someone that's listening that like they've been in that process of they've acquired the skills they've become invaluable but their pay has not budged at all and they don't think i' I've had moments like that where months and months and months

and performance reviews and all this stuff and maybe they even getting the credit but it's not showing up in that final salary you're not getting paid what you think you should be paid how should people kind of navigate that conversation where of getting what they feel like is fair for them from like a payment salary perspective but one you want to make sure that you connect with people in your industry so you know what is fair pay you know like if Fair pay is 100,000 you're getting 200 then you know you want to make sure

you even understand what you asking you know so that's important uh two sometimes people don't pay because either they don't have the money or they um basically they're taking advantage of you you know and so if you find that they don't have the money or they're taking advantage of you because you have those skill sets you don't have to stay there you should always be networking you know like it's in it's important that I call it illustrates your Oprah right column so like let's just say Oprah phone rings ring ring ring she says if you

guys can get together $100,000 um in the next 24 hours I will open up my Rolodex to you and make you an introduction to whoever whatever business whatever that you want $100,000 you got 24 hours go you and I would find $100,000 because we know that access to who opra knows and her making a connection is worth way more than $100,000 it might be an asset management firm it might be a foundation you know that wants to like donate it might be we don't know what it could be you know know and so for for

for that we know that Oprah's value is so obvious that we'd be willing to find the money and so the problem is people have value but they have not Illustrated it you know have you Illustrated your Oprah Oprah is not behind the scenes secret with her value we know it so much so that she said it I'm like what here there are some people I want to I I wrote a children's book I want for my children's book to have a TV show I'm sure she knows somebody over there at PBS or or or Nickelodeon

or whatever make a phone call oh you should meet Tiffany she's so great what they're going to take that call you know I know op's not everyone's favorite these days but she still has tremendous power and access and so that's the thing I think a lot of people that you have to ask yourself in what ways are you illustrating your Oprah when you're meeting with your manager are you showing definitive ways that you have added value to this company or are you like so many people especially women will hope they'll just see it you know

are you like I sister calls it a go me file where literally every time she does something for the company where she works she says go me and we'll write it down I helped on this day to close this deal which added this amount of money quantify it this is the thing that added $50,000 to the down you know to the bottom line This saved the company $100,000 so that way when you meet with your manager you can say in the last six months I have added $600,000 worth of business or I have saved the

company $300,000 as a result of my my task Quantified as much as possible you know because then you're not even asking for a raise we're just asking for a price adjustment right cuz like cuz what it what what it SS to the manager is if this person leaves they take $600,000 with them for the next six months or we might be overpaying another $200,000 for the next six months so you're gonna have your manager really thinking like I don't know and even if they say no now you have a skill set that you could take

with you and you should be networking so people should already be knowing the value that you bring bring to the table so you can find some place else that does have the money the means and the desire to pay you fairly you know I love that the the go me file and I CU I think sometimes it's like if you just input these like small habits and it feels kind of annoying when you're working like you achieve something and then you instantly note it down but in the long run it's so valuable for the reason

that you described which is you take something that is subjective like what's your value or how much do I feel like I should get paid and you just make it objective it's just math it's just numbers and if the value that you're bringing is higher than the pay rise then they're probably going to give you that pay rise because it's it's detrimental for them to lose it people don't ask like I was so impressed with our producer right I know he's like sitting there so I was so impressed with him because you were were sitting

here and you said can you take some pictures and he said sure should I invoice you now or later I was like that's what I'm talking about because so many people like I guess but in the back of their mind well this is really additional fee and I no I love that you know people don't ask or they don't receive that costed instantly it wasn't big it wasn't like sure it's like and you were like no yeah I do want to do it how much would like you got to make the decision you could have

be like oh I didn't realize the extra cost you know what never mind we'll just take some cell phone pictures but instantly he let you know there's a value that I bring to the table it's going to cost do you still want to move forward I thought that was genius most people never asked despite how much value they bring to the table why should we work for free not on Harriet Tubman's internet why what the hell why so I just thought that that was so impressive and I think just the practicing of asking so so

um uh Aisha on my team and Logan on my team there's so many valuable people on my team but I remember I thought to myself like I want to be able to pay people more my full-time workers more and so I couldn't afford the raises 2023 was a really hard financial year and so people were asking for raises left and right I was like I don't have it I don't have it so that was an instance where it was like Tiffany you might lose good people not because you don't want to pay but because you

just don't have and so I did two things I I opened up the book so everyone can see this is where we are financially me not I took a pay cut me not paying you is more is not because I don't want to and not because I don't see your value we just don't have it I'm taking a pay cut just to maintain salary and then two what if we created a payroll um a bonus pool that paid out quarterly what if you got paid like me and they're like what does that mean I said

well I get a base salary and then I get an owner's draw which if there's excess after paying all the bills after the savings and taxes if there's excess money I get to draw that money out of the company there's been some years my owners draws been seven figures and some years my owner draw has been nothing it's based upon the company like how it's doing and I said what if that's to you and so they said okay so I said this way you get paid based upon how the company's doing that excess money you're

asking for' but it never puts us in Jeopardy because it's after everything's been taken care of so for the first six months there was nothing but then they start to get really like we want to put money in that payroll pool and so this last six months they did so well that the owners draw I mean the payroll um the bonus pool looks like this that whatever we make for the quarter um minus all of our bills and and and payroll and everything else I put 20% of what I would have draw as an owner

so if I was going to draw $100,000 because we had a really good court or whatever I put 20,000 of my 100,000 into this bucket and now you full-time employees get to have this bucket the percentage of the bucket is a percentage of the payroll that you get so if you're you know you get paid $100,000 a year and that's 20% of payroll then 20% of that bonus bucket is yours and so the first time they got their bonus from the bonus bucket last quarter it was I don't put the business out there but it

was like a few thousand dolls and they were like okay you know like cute no this time around it was like $220,000 and they were like wait what each and so I can only imagine the next one so by the end they by the end of this year maybe they'll have made $50,000 in that's way more I was not going to give you a $50,000 raise but now I figured out a way to link their value to the work that they do without sying the company but I only did that because they illustrate their opra

so much I said I cannot lose them I will find the money and that's what happens when you illustrate your Oprah and you're at the right place they will find the money for you you know and if not you take your skills and talents someplace else where they will find the money for you you know I love that that's actually great um you know I I cly want to get into side hustles and one of the things that you mentioned you mentioned having that kind of list of skills or things that you can do and

one of the things even in the book which is the third bullet point decide which of these skills you can monetize and I know there's people are listen maybe they have their list with theirs and a lot of the we have SKS different right and so maybe I'm good at marketing but I also know a bit of PowerPoint and I also do I don't know a bit of stats and data and so how should someone make the decision of okay this is one of the skills that could then be a side hustle for me well

one if you're looking for a side hustle not you're starting a small business but a side hle then you're going to look for the the skill set that you can monetize as quickly as possible I call it simple and soon what can we get up and running like a 48 hours so for your skill is like oh I'm really good at um data analytics but I'm also really good at cooking which one is gonna make you money quicker you already have five people that said if you ever make dinners let me know start making dinners

tonight you know like where can you have the least like um investment with the biggest return you know like people give you the money for the dinners I make them here's my who's your $200 thank you so much you know so we're not looking for like what makes your heartbeat faster you know it's like what can I monetize quickly now you got a camera I remember a friend of mine was struggling financially his kid is um was in a um played baseball and he said um I I make baseball cards for kids because his kids

like in middle school or something like that so he took his camera to the field took pictures of kids show parents cuz he created baseball cards like on his computer there and said hey would you like you know would you like these baseball cards it's x amount of dollars he lives in um DC where there are like I remember it was graduation time he took his camera it was basically like hey I take pictures would you like me to take pictures of you it was making money right then and there because he had a camera

does that make sense like we're not here to make it complicated just simple and student ask yourself of all the things ways I can make money how quickly if you're not sure Google some of those things and see how are people making money in that in that space you know what I mean I would like let's let's just say you're a cake maker how much are they charging let me go to a cake site oh they don't have the price listed call them hi I wanted a cake made you know how much would that be

and how quickly could you deliver it so now you have your price point and your delivery model does that make sense and so that's what I would do is that like right away I would say I'm not trying to get fancy I'm just trying to ask myself what could I quickly start within if I can't start it within 48 to 72 hours at least get the ball rolling that it's probably too complicated you know and I I want to start to make money now because money begets money as you get good at it you know

then you can expand to say okay now I can add something else or maybe I can pivot but in this moment I need to show myself I know how to make money you know I love that way of thinking about it because I know I know there's so many people that feel like underwater like when they come to their finances they're constantly feeling that squeeze and so it's like the first thing you need to do is actually just create space for yourself you need to create a bit of cushion which is like well if I

had an extra $500 $1,000 a month that would be meaningful to me yes like that would that would make me feel a lot better and so you start with that what's the skill that will will give me that extra $500,000 cushion and even in your story it's like you always had this skill of teaching and you had the financial literacy and that education from a kid basically and it started off quite small like well definitely small in terms of what you're doing now um but then it kept going and going and so that's the second

thing that I love that you said which is like money begets money yes that it's actually the thing that was making you $1,000 a month can start making you 5,000 a month yes 10,000 a month what have you found I'm curious even of people that you coach or speak with what is that difference in someone going from okay my side hustle is making $1,000 but I'm actually kind of loving doing it and it's giving me a lot of flexibility how do I turn it from $1,000 into 5,000 10,000 and start thinking even about leaving my

job if I wanted to potentially well one you have to set the financial goal so 500 was my like initial goal you know like if I could just make 500 because my room that I'm renting cost 500 so you have to set the financial goal because you'll meet your goal you know like the aim is like if I can make 500 but I realized that was too small of a goal because I get to got to 500 I'm like well I need to move Beyond on this so one set financial goals that are like slightly

beyond what you feel is possible so you know what to reach for and then you start to do the math backwards I remember when I said okay instead of 500 you know um which I was trying to do one-on ones and I like if I can pay charge a $100 per person if I could do five people a month that seems realistic I said okay well what if you would did, 1500 I'm like I can't do 1,500 people like 1500 people is 1500 15 people a month that might be too much I said well maybe

you're thinking about it wrong because when you set a bigger goal it forces you not to think about brute strength but mind strength it goes from I could do five people to I don't want to do 15 people in a month that's too much so who said you have to do 15 people in a month can you do 15 people in one sitting I was like uhuh what would that look like who would pay me for 15 people in one sitting well who pays people to speak girl you're not re you're not inventing speaking I'm

like and I remember it was like um my um my college friend his brother had just became like the sophomore class president and we were celebrating at his house he's like oh my God I'm sophomore class pres like I was like what does that even mean he's like we could hire speakers I said you could hire speakers what does that mean he was like yeah we can have speakers to speak I said well how much do you guys usually hire speakers for he said $1,500 is what they can hire because they gave the kids a

budget and he was like if anything above that I'd have to go ask like the adviser for more money I said well I speak and you know he hired me my first $1,500 to speak and that's when the light bu opened to like okay because I'm not going to do 15 people for the month one sitting it was maybe 20000 kids $1,500 I said well how do I get to 15,000 do you see and so it forces you to think beyond what you can physically do it forces you to become more strategic to ask yourself

that question it forces you to actually ask for help because the only way that I went from six figures cuz six figures was brute strength I just grinded every day every day every day every day unsustainable and to get to Seven figures I had to bring on help and took me five years to get to six figures it took me two years two or three years to get to Seven figures it took me a year and a half to get to eight figures in a year because I finally learned that it's not about me and

now the opportunities that are before me now it um potentially nine figures because and the lift for me is barely anything I realized that in in order for you to really make more you have to pull yourself out of the working you know that you really have to be the Strategic planner and thinker but the truth is it you can't just jump there you actually have to work at first like if I was not hands in the muck working I would not be prepared for the mindset things that I have to do now if that

makes sense because can't nobody get over on me when someone says well that's going to be $30,000 like I did that six years ago that don't take six hours and if it takes you six hours you're not confident oh you thought I didn't know you know because I built my website six years ago I you know I did my email list I did my social media so like it's okay you shouldn't despise humble beginnings and so learning to work the business with your hands is a good start but you should always be planning of how

do I pull myself out um because you won't be able to get to like the next next next level if it's always you doing the manual work you know I love that advice if someone just pulling out a piece of paper and whatever the goal is whatever that money number that income potential net worth whatever it is just writing it down because in the second that you do that you make it more real yes and it's like you also start this process and this is what I've seen with myself is that it's like you always

have these kind of new targets and how many people even if you went up to them on the street or your friends or peers at work could you go to an ask ask like what's their target for the next quarter or the next year and they could straight away tell you most I think I feel like most of the time we have no idea even what we're aiming for yes and so we we were speaking earlier about like the importance of your mind being open and it was like when you were getting into those conversations

or you're asking people about how much they charge for speaking it was like you knew what the goal was you knew the number and so you were always in your environment looking for opportunities to hit that number exactly and I think that that's why it's like just that practical step of like taking the time to consider it and writing it down I'm actually going to do that after this episode I'm like I need to be there is this um I think Princeton had done a study where people writing down their goals and it made your

goals like 60 to 80% more likely to happen just the act of writing them down they did like a 10-year study of like high school students that wrote down their goals versus those who didn't and then tracking them 10 years later and you they were like 60 to 80% more likely to have them because writing them down makes you see them like honestly almost everything that I'm living now I have written down like in my I don't know if it's in this wallet I used to carry this laminated check that like I remember it was

said like from a very happy client and I remember the check said $10,000 and then I made 10,000 and then it was $50,000 then I made 50 then it was um uh whatever $1 million and I made a million and so I keep upping it because I writing down I'd heard Jim Carrey did that like I'm trying to make the thing real for myself I I keep journals so I look I do vision boards I was just looking at a vision board that I'd lost that I founded in my closet from five six years ago

and I would say more than half the stuff on that board I had lived in experience I was like oh my God I wrote on here I wanted to go to Egypt I did and just Tye thing as like Charlotte North Carolina was on there I just came back from there I forgot that it was on my vision board I have on their New York Times bestseller that was six years ago I didn't even have a book deal I didn't even have a book thereal I wrote New York Times bestseller I said 100,000 copies sold

I sold 100,000 in my first year or up to 300,000 sold that was on there without even a book deal and there were some things on there that I was just like wow so whatever writing down looks like for you whether it's a vision board whether it's voice notes whether it's like you know actual pen and paper get your dreams out of your head into your hand and onto something physical so you can check in and and check on them frequently yeah you know what I I love that you know even in the in the

beginning of the episode I read out some of those statistics so 78% of Americans live paycheck to paycheck 69% of households have less than $1,000 in emergency savings 34% of all Americans have zero zero dollars in savings and so I'm kind of curious for you like I think we hear so much personal finance advice and we hear things about budgeting and saving and credit and de and and all of these things is there anything that in your mind when you have something that it would have such a large impact for people in terms of their

personal finances but it's largely being ignored like we people never think about it it's the thing that's never discussed what what kind of comes to mind for you on that I think the intentional building of community around you I think that we hear it but the I have a ninef figure opportunity that came to me because of someone in my community who I met at an event she was super nice we stayed in contact via text message I saw her recently she invited me to go out to eat with her there's a bunch of other

people there and this opportunity is now before me a nine figure opportunity potentially that's community there's certain doors that you cannot open there's no knob for you someone on the inside has to open and bring you in and then let everyone know she's here you know like this is what you should know about her this is what you and so I think people um think that like this like rugged individualism that we like to tout in America is BS that anyone who's made it to any level of grand success has done so within Community someone

has put them forward you have to constantly be networking and not networking from a place of what can I get but what can I give like I like to connect for connecting sake you know because what will happen is you connect with somebody they're really cool you met them at an event five years later 10 years later something comes up my first sixf figureure contract with a brand it was a woman who took took I have an online challenge I used to do every year called The liberat Challenge it was free and she worked for

um this car brand and she' been telling them about me telling them about um telling like they were she was telling them telling she was telling them about me for like two years you should work with Tiffany you should work with Tiffany you should work I did not know this just because we connected and I Met she's like she's so nice and she followed what I was doing she told them finally after two years they said okay it was a $100,000 contract that that that was the check that I had written for myself I'm like

no one's going to pay you $100,000 they paid me $100,000 hour I couldn't believe it and I mean since now that's you know that's not even nearly my my biggest contract but at the time it was like oh my goodness and that was as a result of community and I think everyone wants to talk about like um certainly you know there's investing we all know that to grow wealth you know there's saving there's budgeting there's getting your credit together there's all these other things but access to people who have access is Paramount because you can

invest and do all these other things and then be shut out of whatever the next level or state because it takes a person are you actively working on connecting with people like I said connecting for connecting sake almost every opportunity I've ever had like I met you because arand text me right she text me oh my God I was on this amazing podcast you should be on I was like I mean I love arand I said okay I didn't even know anything about you and I looked I'm like wow this is Major podcast she's like

yes girl and I'm here as a result of community and so to me that is the secret sauce to success is are you like are you not only developing your community are you maintaining it are you taking care of it are you checking in you know like I take walks with friends in business it's one of my favorite things to do like I was like let's take a walk at a park and we'll talk about business I check them up on them their kids are you good let's go for lunch you know like building those

communities there's a great book called delivering Happiness by Tony Shay he's the man who um he's passed away but he um he wrote the book um the delivering happiness um what was that zap he built and before you know it you're in another room you're like oh and then they introduce you like their bestie like hey vice president um this is Tiffany and I'm like I didn't know you the vice president you were just the girl in the bathroom who Hadar cute shoes you see what I mean and so yeah community community community yeah you

know what you know what's interesting I think especially like people from um our community I think so often it's difficult because in a lot of ways we're products of our environment right there's that quot that old adage or like the average of the five people you hang around the most or you spend the most time with and it's like I can almost hear the frustration from people I felt it in my life as well which is well if everyone around me also is living paycheck to paycheck or everyone around me they also don't have savings

or they also kind of struggling to pay rent um it's like a lot of the times we don't have access to the people that have access and so there's like this frustration of like well how do I get into those circles like those people aren't like me and I guess the the underlying mindset is it's almost like there's like the Haves and the Have Nots and there's this group this Stratosphere that I can't access and I'll never be able to access it well I'm going to challenge you on that I'm G to say is that

true is that the only truth so you don't have social media you can't get in the Reddit for you can't get in a Facebook group I know it's old school but there's a lot of really great Facebook groups you know like I know people who met their business partner on [Music] clubhouse I know that you live in timbuk two wherever in in Illinois and there's one cow and a donkey and a farm and that's it and yet somehow you're on social media where people who literally you can meet someone in China who is interesting in

learning English and you exchange you teach they teach you Chinese you learn English like that's the thing that's what I mean that's the narrative because who wins with that narrative when you tell yourself like I don't have I hear you I know the person I can feel them too oh no social media is the great connector like you know how many people I mean I'm not a gamer but I've heard people say that they are closer with some of their gamer friends who they've never met people been gaming with the same people since high school

and they're in their 30s I remember there's one there was this cute video of this guy who never met his gamer friend asked him to be his best man because they had been playing together for 15 years in his wedding so you can make connection it doesn't have to be you're sitting right next to me in New York New Jersey you can make connection right online if you're willing you know and so yeah you know what can you I I think it's so good what you're saying and I I want people to be able to

take it home and and do something with it like I want no excuses for anyone can you give an example of how you reach out because I think sometimes you know someone might be listening and they might see you for example and they're like she runs like this really successful company she has so much going on she's a New York Times bestseller she does speaking she at the vice president's residence like she's never going to respond to my email and there's like they don't even know how to reach out they've put you on such a

pedestal they don't even know how to be personable how to be like just a human that you'd even want to have just an initial conversation with and so can you give some advice on that like how should someone that person that I'm seeing online or maybe I don't even know wherever I'm seeing them I just want to reach CH and do it in a way that you know they're going to be receptive so one you take it take um I don't know if you ever see little kids when they learn to play at the park

right so a kid is watching other kids play first thing they do is they bring their toys over you want to play with me not empty-handed because some people reach out to take I don't even know you hey Tiffany I'd love to partner can you do this this this this this you sound crazy I don't respond to those because it tell it shows me that you're actually not interested in Partnership you are interested in extracting value and keeping it moving and 90% of the people that reach out that is the energy so it's not very

hard to find a 10% that I actually respond to the 10% that I respond to is one oh my gosh I just want you to tell I just wanted to tell you thank you so much for what you did this changed my life in this way thank you and they keep it moving oh that was nice not asking for anything just here to share kindness that's huge you start to build a relationship from kindness hey girl I see you out there I saw you at the VP teach lessons that was it and before you know

it you could have a report for 6 months of someone just checking in I noticed you haven't been online in a while you all right now I'm writing back and forth there are people who I've never met who that's how we converse online you know and then they might be like well you know my my company is having a thing would love if you could speak I would at least consider it from my internet friend who I've never met but has always been kind has not asked me for anything that's one two be like the

little kid bring your toy to play with hey Tiffany I noticed that your your videos are really great but honest I'm even better at making reals here's an example would love to make a real for you I'm looking for someone to make reals right now all of a sudden I'm like girl let's get on the phone it went from I can never connect with Tiffany to I'm on the phone with Tiffany and I'm gonna make reals for her people come with no toys to play with and you wonder why you don't have any part friends

at the park you know what I mean bring something to the table don't let make me ask for it you're wanting to take and extract you're not gonna you know what I mean and so that is like literally that's what I do you think I don't slide in people's d hey sis congratulations on your book deal I don't know if you know but my new my book hit a New York Times bestsellers list and I have this class that I taught for my mentees it's a two-hour class Eight Pages of notes timestamped I could I

would love to share with you and your team here's the link everybody's my best friend you know how many other New York Times Best Sellers that that that that that spawned no I'm not asking for anything just building relationships I always come with gifts hey I see that you know you're going to go speak as such and such event I spoke there last year if you ever want to jump in a call I can share what I wish I would have known here's some things and then people are like oh my god I've been on

the phone with some of the I call the blue check Brigade you know like some of the biggest names you could ever imagine just because I've just been like I don't want anything just sharing this thing with you a year two years three years people are not patient either five years from now they hit me up I was just telling such and such about you you should come to this fancy fancy event where you're going to meet this investor da da da da da all because I slend to your DMs and shared something positive with

you that's how you do that either slide in to share just straight positivity or reach out with with a toy in your hand and say can we play but bring the toy because I'm already playing I'm already at the park so whether you come or not I get to play so if you're GNA put Play Bring value to the table already you know I I love about this conversation and obviously you have an amazing story and I knew that I knew that coming in but um it's what you mentioned in the beginning about living a

life of service and it's even even the way that you described the Outreach it's like so often we're thinking about what can I take what do I need and a lot of the times we've built up to the point where we're like desperate and now it's like okay I need the sponsorship thing and I need this and I need this and I need this and it's like you're just living a life of service yes and every now and then you're just dropping these little hooks these little things to everyone and eventually you don't know when

it's going to happen and you don't put the pressure but some point it's going to pay dividends but it's not even that you're necessarily trying for it to P dividends that's why it works cuz if you do that enough let's just say I retail to 20 people in a year eventually one of those fish are going to buy I'm like sometimes people will come up to me and they'll give me an opportunity I'm like I don't even remember remember that time you jumped on the phone with me no well anyway I work for this big

old company we have a $50,000 contract I'm like okay I can't tell you how many times because I'm not dropping them and looking at the fish lines and no I'm just dropping off kindness and then sometimes the fish bites and you're just like wow I don't even remember having that car with you it sound like something I would have said usually that's what I say I'm like what did I say that sound like me yeah but I cannot tell you how many doors that's open and I'm just like wow kindness goes a long long long

long long way kindness for kindness sake not kindness for getting sake because people can tell that too you know you if you connect with somebody who's really successful believe me they can smell that from a mile away you don't ever want to do that you want to be you want to be helpful for helpful sake but yeah that's simple as that because it's like it's not true that you can have access to people you absolutely can yeah it's just that most people just go about it the wrong way they're looking to take and not to

give and truly like service is the great door opener yeah you know what and um it's funny because usually um and and and we need to get out of here but usually I feel like we could talk for like hours um but usually right at the end of the conversation I'm like what's that final question that I want to that I want to ask and this episode's a bit different for me I actually don't have a final question I want to ask I think it's just um I have so much respect so much admiration and

it's funny because I I watched some of your other interviews and I've heard you even speak about what happened with your husband and I can tell it's something that's still so personal and still so real for you and I think I just did adire the fact that you step into this room and you live out what you preach which is being of service which is even sharing that story and all of its vulnerability and everything that comes with it and so I don't have a final question to ask I just want to say just thank

you so much for coming on thank you so much for sharing what you did with everyone and just keep being you because it's special thank you special thank you thank you can I ask you a question go for it so you asked me before what do I think that those the grandmothers the CFO all those people saw in me to like speak that life over me what do you see I'm like you know like what do you think you know what I think it's there's a core Humanity to you there's like a there's a spirit

which you can't really put your finger on it but there's there's a humor there's a way in the way even you laugh the way that you speak there's an energy to it and I think even despite everything that you've achieved and the millions of dollars and the law being signed and all of these things there's something of like she's just here with me she's present she's where her feet are and I think people can people can feel that people that have that ability they tend to really resonate with people and have that connection and if

you can do that and you can figure out all of the other business stuff and the marketing and it's what we're trying to do right now with the show right like you figure out all the things around that but at the core of it is that human connection and if you can do that then you know everything's on the table the world's your Royster and I think that's kind of what I felt just the whole conversation I felt it is the way that you even share the stories and the way that you speak that's like

she's here with me that's powerful thank you I really appreciate that can I share I meant to share like a tool a resource with with your yeah yeah go so you know we have good good with money and so to your point of writing things down if to me that's really powerful obviously and um if you're wanting to write down um what your goals are if you DM me on IG the word goals I will send you my goal sheet that's it's my Geo of money goal sheet so you can start writing down what your

financial goals are because we're already more than halfway through with the year but it's not too late to turn those things around if you want to confess your financial soul you can do that too no judgment but yeah you just type goals in the DMS and I will instantly just send you this free goal sheet where you can start the process of writing down because it's not true that you have nothing you have something it is not the only truth available to you so I can't wait to see everybody on the other side I I

hope you're ready people are going to be in your DMs confessing that's okay all sorts of things to you it won't be the first time it will not be the first or the last I mean people caness everything from I'm homeless I don't know what to do to I just just inherited $3 million from my grandmother I mean I remember one lady I was like girl do not tell people this she said I'm not telling people I'm telling you you know like people tell me all it's the preschool teacher energy because little kids used to

tell me all their business because they know that I'm not going to judge I'm G to love them anyway so yes I do not mind that honestly it does not bother me if you don't have a safe space I don't mind being a safe space yeah no special conversation Tiffany alicie thank you so much thank you so much thank you so much for watching this episode I hope you enjoyed it it's really a dream for me that I get to do this it's surreal that this is what I do full-time and every week so if

you enjoyed the content if you enjoyed the conversation the stories please hit that subscribe button it helps us immeasurably with growing the Channel with getting guests all of those things so please hit that subscribe button and I'll see you next time