8 Signs Its A Trauma Bond, Not Love

hey welcome back there has been a huge decline in mental health around the world which is why we're so committed to creating more content than we ever have thanks for being a part of our journey do you know what it means to have a trauma bond with someone most people would wrongly assume that this means bonding with someone over shared trauma but actually trauma bonding is a defining characteristic of many toxic and abusive relationships and it's often the main reason why we might find ourselves unable to leave them a drama bond refers to the deep

emotional attachment one might feel towards their abuser and it's more likely to develop in those who have a history of abuse exploitation or emotional codependency in their past relationships trauma bonds can easily be mistaken for feelings of love and commitment towards another person so with that said here are some signs to look out for that tell you if it's not actually love that you're experiencing but a trauma bond number one the other person is outwardly charming of course if given the choice no one would willingly choose to pursue a relationship with someone who acts abusive

towards them the problem is however the toxic relationships don't start out that way and it's usually only when you've already experienced the abuse that you start to realize something is wrong you might develop a trauma bond with someone if they are outwardly charming sweet caring and seem trustworthy to you but don't be fooled there might be something more sinister lurking beneath it all number two they are emotionally unpredictable you might be asking yourself why don't people just leave the relationships once they realize that it's unhealthy for them but the trouble is it's a lot harder

to spot trauma bonding when it's up close and personal compared to if you just saw it happening to someone else this is because abusive partners can often be emotionally manipulative too they might abuse you and devalue you only to shower you with kindness apologies and promises to change the next day this serves as positive reinforcement to make you second guess any thoughts you might have of leaving them number three they tend to take their problems out on you think back to the last time this partner friend or family member heard some bad news or encountered

a problem how do they usually deal with it do they often lash out take it out on you even when you've done nothing wrong they could be keeping you around as their psychological punching bag and you deserve better than that number four they isolate you from your loved ones some people might think it's sweet to have someone who wants them all to themselves and gets jealous of those you spend your time with but there's a difference between loving someone so much you want them around all the time and actively working to isolate them from the

other important relationships in their lives does this person get mad at you for spending time with anyone who isn't them do they try to control who you're with or ask you to distance yourself from your friends and family if the answer is yes then that's as clear a red flag as any number five you deny or minimize their abusive behavior now let's look at all the ways the trauma bond might affect you and your behavior oftentimes the most telling sign that you're in a destructive relationship is if you find yourself constantly trying to deny or

minimize the other person's wrongdoings we look past all their mistreatment towards us and minimize the abuse by saying things like oh it's not that bad really or i don't mind it because in the moment it's easier for us to just brush it off instead of confronting what might be a terrible harsh reality that the person you're with is abusing you number six you constantly make excuses for them the moment you can no longer deny or minimize what the other person has done and a family member or friend says something like what they did to you

is not okay don't let them treat you like that you're still most likely going to try to make excuses for them and come to their defense at times you might even find yourself feeling like you deserve their mistreatment once you start thinking like this that is a critical sign that you are in a trauma bond and not a loving relationship number seven they're becoming more and more emotionally numb have you noticed yourself feeling less and less lately like you're detached and emotionally numb you might be feeling this way because subconsciously it's your mind's way of

coping with all of the abuse that it's had to deal with from the person you're trauma bonded to you can't take any more pain fear anger or heartache so instead you close yourself off from all of your emotions you're not as vibrant talkative or expressive as you used to be and they're the reason why number eight you're hiding aspects of your relationship from others finally but perhaps most importantly if you start to hide certain aspects of your relationship from those around you then you know that there's definitely something wrong because why else would you actively

try to cover up how bad things are getting between you two loyalty towards an abusive significant other is a hallmark of trauma bonding so you might find yourself becoming defensive or even angered by other people's attempts to intervene in your relationship and help you do you relate to any of the things we've mentioned here if you or anyone you know is trapped in a trauma bond with someone abusive don't hesitate to speak out and seek professional help today and if you need to get in touch with authorities who can help you too did you find

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