📕It Took Me 10 Years to Fall in Love with Her, But Only a Moment to Hate Her

Falling in Love with Willow during the First Snowfall of '14 Hating Willow on the Day the Snow Disappeared in '24 Ten Years Love Melted like Snow When she asked me to marry her I finally let her go Roles Reversed Extremes Switched Those Clichéd Plots Happened Too Suddenly But now everything about you No longer concerns me at all At four in the morning my phone rang like a thunderbolt by my pillow I woke up abruptly followed by a throbbing pain in my forehead Suffering from insomnia I had to rely on sleeping pills every night I wanted

to smash the phone to pieces Answer it Or not If I answer I won’t be able to sleep tonight If I don’t she will probably be very angry Because at this hour no one else would call me except her Willow the girl I loved for ten years The ringing became clearer and the pain grew more intense I stared blankly at the ceiling feeling the rhythmic throbbing at my temples Thinking of the word "ten years " I stopped hesitating One hand covered my forehead while the other answered the phone "Can't you see my WeChat messages" On

the other end Willow's tone was cold with a hint of anger as if I had done something wrong "Sorry I was asleep" "Well go back to sleep then" Then she hung up the phone decisively The headache eased a bit I sat up lit a cigarette and checked her messages There were only three all very clear Come pick me up Then she sent an address Where are you A few simple words colder than the winter wind in Beijing I got dressed went downstairs and sat in the car with a cigarette in my mouth It felt like

plunging into an ice cellar Beijing's winter is not gentle To me it was like a beast that would tear holes in your clothes I drove to the destination a hotpot restaurant It seemed I couldn’t park on the roadside After hesitating for a moment I turned on the hazard lights and went into the restaurant Amidst the noise I saw Willow and frowned the next second In such cold weather she wore a mini skirt and a tank top with a thin jacket draped aside sitting between two men her arm around one of their necks Her face was

flushed from drinking her eyes were misty and she was mingling with them People at the next table frequently glanced over I walked up and pulled Willow "Let's go" Unexpectedly she shook me off and sat back down defiantly "Don't touch me" The three men looked at me with disdain and provocation I couldn't be bothered to respond I just wanted to get Willow home and then sleep "I know you're mad at me Sorry it's my fault for not seeing your message in time Let's go it's very late" I stepped forward to pull her again and this time

one of the men moved He slapped my hand away "Hey Who the hell are you Don't you dare touch her" "Watch your mouth " I glared at the man but he seemed to want to provoke me further turning to talk to Willow "Is this the guy you mentioned" Willow laughed leaning forward and back: "Yes yes he’s George I told you no matter when I call him he will definitely come" "Oh He~ is your little servant but he's not very punctual" They all burst into laughter and Willow clung to the man beside her her expression ambiguous:

"So did I win the bet" "Sure what reward do you want" Saying that he put his hand on Willow's thigh but she didn’t react leaning softly into the man’s embrace Seeing Willow like this a trace of darkness flashed in my eyes but I walked forward without hesitation staring at the man’s provocative eyes and said word by word: "Take your hand off" The man sneered squeezing harder leaving red marks on Willow’s fair thigh: "Who the hell are you And who are you to her You have no right" I glanced at Willow again Her eyes were bright

smiling I understood what she meant She was enjoying it enjoying the feeling of being defended also expecting expecting the men to fight for her like animals fighting over prey She succeeded In the next second I grabbed the man’s collar and with all my strength punched him then slammed his head onto the table His friends reacted one kicking me sending me crashing into a leftover hotpot on the next table The boiling water scalded my back but under the adrenaline I felt no pain kicking that dirty hand guy again Willow had long covered her mouth in surprise

and stepped aside The boss also came to stop the fight but there was no way I would back down In a brawl just pick one and beat him up hard It wasn’t until the boss yelled about calling the police that I let go of the man's collar He had already been beaten into a pig's head his face swollen I was not much better although my face wasn’t hurt my head was full of lumps and my back was burning But they wouldn’t dare call the police no one would benefit I spat out a mouthful of blood

and pulled Willow away "You bastard you hit really hard " The man though swollen like a pig still sneered disgustingly behind me "Let me tell you no matter what you do for her she will never like you understand Simp" The drive home was silent Willow draped in my jacket stared out the window lost in thought I glanced at her wanting to say something but the words caught in my throat The atmosphere was awkward I licked my split lip and turned on the radio "Welcome to FM19 Next up we have a song recommendation for you" "Turn

it off" Willow didn't even look at me apparently annoyed But if that's the case why did she ask me to pick her up "I won't" For once I defied her wishes Maybe it was the pent-up anger from the beating or perhaps I felt mistreated Willow didn't speak her tone suddenly softened: "Oh" Maybe she realized how excessive she had been today "Don't take what they said today to heart My friends like to joke around but you shouldn't have been so impulsive" I chuckled bitterly my face turning dark But Willow still didn't look at me as if

she hadn't heard Seeing her back my thoughts drifted to a quiet afternoon ten years ago She also used to gaze out the window like this Finally I sighed: "Got it" I didn't want to lose Willow didn't want to lose the beautiful memories of her even if they were from ten years ago Once people get used to something they panic and fear when they lose it They want to hold on tightly I think that's how I am I'm afraid of changing my current life So today no matter how excessive she was I think I'll endure it

Even friends have conflicts "Do you like me " Willow suddenly turned to look at me smiling slightly "I" It felt like a giant hand was squeezing my heart I looked at the road ahead opened my mouth but couldn't say anything The speaker played Jolin Tsai's "Rewind " and we didn't speak again until I dropped her off at home As she was getting out I grabbed her "Ten years don't you understand" She smiled sweetly at me: "It didn't take ten years I knew from the first year" "Then you" "George some things are better left unsaid Are

you afraid of losing me" I nodded dumbly "I'm also afraid of losing you but if we stay friends we'll never lose each other" She left not even waving goodbye She only left my jacket and a veiled rejection I live in the same neighborhood as Willow but her house was bought by her parents while I can only rent My home is both my residence and my studio After graduating from college I started my own business but it hasn't taken off yet The money I make each month is barely enough for living expenses After parking the car

I noticed a parking ticket on the window Willow sitting in the passenger seat must have seen it But she didn't tell me It seems she really doesn't care about me Even as a friend she would have joked about the ticket or the ads stuck on the window The sky was already bright when I got home and my back stung with pain making me grimace I lit a cigarette and searched onli e for how to treat a burn My phone suddenly pinged with a WeChat message Ana: [Are you awake I hope I didn't disturb you Call

me when you wake up ] I called her right away Ana a senior who is a year older than me and my business partner Currently she and two other juniors are working with me in the studio "Senior any instructions" "Oh you're actually awake Let me guess did you go meet your secret crush last night" Tsk this woman is spot on "Alright enough teasing It's about work Monkey finished the concept design around four" "Senior you could have called me then" She sounded a bit aggrieved on the other end: "I didn't want to wake you What if

you got mad at me Your sleep is so poor" "It's not like I've ever gotten mad at you Just come over" "Got it Boss Wang~" When Ana arrived she brought breakfast "You know me too well Senior This pancake is delicious" I wolfed down the food not caring about my image at all "Tsk it's just not spicy enough Next time make it extra spicy thanks" "Extra spicy Don't you know you have a stomach problem " Ana rolled her eyes at me "Stop calling me Senior it sounds awful" "Then what should I call you Youwei That feels

too disrespectful" Ana punched me: "I'm just your senior not a stranger Is calling me by my name so weird" The punch landed right on my wound making me wince "What's wrong with you Don't you dare pretend " Ana carefully examined my face: "Did you get into a fight" I turned my face away from her: "Nothing let's talk about work" I noticed Ana looking at me with a strange expression a mix of worry and frustration "What's wrong" "Nothing it's just that you seem to be keeping a distance from me like you have a girlfriend or something"

"You're mistaken Senior I'm single" "Oh~" Halfway through discussing work the pain in my back intensified like a thousand needles piercing my skin I gritted my teeth sweat beading on my forehead Ana glanced at me and threw the papers on the table pouting at me "Why did you stop talking" "I'm afraid you'll die" Just then the doorbell rang As I wondered who it could be Ana already opened the door It was the delivery guy "What did you order Give me some " I cheekily leaned over "You're in so much pain yet you still have the energy

to joke This is burn ointment" "Burn ointment You" I wondered how she knew Ana seemed to guess my thoughts: "When you bent over to look at the papers earlier I saw a small burn mark on the back of your neck Normally that spot wouldn't get burned What happened And you didn't even notice Now you're sweating all over I guess such a small burn wouldn't cause you so much pain" She opened the ointment: "So take off your shirt" "What" "Take it off" The cool touch on my back finally brought some relief "Thank you Senior " I

weakly expressed my gratitude Ana didn't say anything just focused on applying the ointment The next second my phone rang It was Willow I was stunned for a moment then answered "Where are you" "At home" Willow's tone was still emotionless: "I can't sleep Let's go eat There's a great sukiyaki place" "Eat How about later I'm in a meeting" "What do you mean" There was a hint of anger in her voice: "Are you throwing a tantrum at me" "I'm not " I tried to sound as gentle as possible "I'm in a meeting It'll be over soon You"

"Whatever go if you want Acting all busy now forget it" The call ended abruptly and Ana finished applying the medicine She stood up to pack the drawings "Senior thank you Let's continue talking " "Didn't Willow ask you to go out " Ana put the drawings in her bag and slipped on her high heels "You'll be distracted go find her " She was about to leave but then stopped "George I " Ana's voice trembled slightly "I don't want to see you compromising yourself for others " She turned her head her eyes full of unspoken words "Even

though she is the one you like is it really love or just obsession " Ana closed the door and left leaving me stunned When did I start liking Willow It seems I've forgotten I just know I've liked her for a long time Since the moment she moved into my heart I felt jealous when I saw her with other men and felt lost when she ignored me No matter what I did the first person I thought of was her In school I secretly wrote her name in my textbooks dreaming of a beautiful future together She seemed

to have become my entire life But is it love or obsession I seem to have blurred the line Why do people have obsessions Probably because of unsatisfied desires and regrets buried deep in their hearts What am I seeking through all my efforts for Willow To have her Or just to claim a title It seems like neither It's to give an explanation for all these years of feelings I want a complete ending a conclusion with Willow As for what the ending is It seems unimportant now I still went to find Willow When I opened the door

to the private room the smell of smoke and alcohol filled my nostrils The lights were dim and it was very noisy Willow sat in the middle surrounded by small wine glasses seemingly playing some game "Yo who is this " Willow glanced at me and then turned back to continue joking with them "Don't mind him let's continue " Several pairs of eyes scrutinized me as I walked to Willow "What are you doing here " "To apologize to you " The guys sitting next to her started to jeer "Willow you're such a queen acting all high and

mighty " "Yeah your little lover is here to apologize to you~ to apologize~" Amid the laughter Willow casually grabbed a glass and filled it with a mix of whiskey and beer "Drink this and I'll forgive you " I didn't look at the glass only at her heavily made-up face "Do you know why I came to apologize " "I don't care why " "Okay even if you don't care I want to tell you do you remember the promise we made ten years ago " The people around perked up again "Wow a promise Willow you have a

ten-year promise with this guy~" "Shut up " I shouted and the room fell silent Seeing my red eyes and clenched fists they knew further teasing would lead to trouble Willow looked at me angrily "Why are you showing me that face Think you're all that now " "I've always been capable I just want to know if you remember what you said ten years ago " "Yeah if we weren't in a relationship in ten years we'd try being together right " Willow sneered hugging the man next to her her expression playful: "So did you take it seriously"

Disappointment flooded my heart In this small gaudy room our ten years seemed like a joke making me feel ashamed Did I let go Maybe it was her nasty attitude or maybe I was tired of these years The unexpected relief happened in an instant "Yes I took it seriously All the good you did for me back then I remembered it all so I secretly vowed to always be good to you no matter what our future would be " "So what " "I changed my mind I don't want to continue like this so I'm apologizing to you

After this drink we'll have no more contact " With a determined resolve I downed the drink in one gulp placing the glass heavily on the table Willow looked at me her contempt turning into anger The next moment she hugged the guy next to her "Kiss me " The man like an eager puppy held Willow's face and kissed her fiercely The jeering was deafening I found myself surprisingly calm The scene that should have made me despair made me laugh Seeing their dirty act I felt disgusted with my past self for doing so much for someone like

this I lit a cigarette and sneered watching them separate panting "Wonderful just wonderful " Holding the cigarette I searched my wallet pulled out a photo of me and Willow and set it on fire throwing it on the ground "Goodbye oh no never see you again" I turned and left Closing the door to the room stepping outside I suddenly realized it wasn't that cold anymore Looking down at the road and the greenery the snow had melted leaving only faint traces of water "Is winter over " I muttered "The snow has finally melted" The alcohol kicked in

and I sat by the roadside quietly smoking A pristine white CT5 pulled up in front of me The window rolled down and Ana stuck her head out smiling brightly "Hey handsome need a ride " I smiled back "How did you find me senior " "Big brother this is the road to your house just a street away I was wondering which big idiot would sit by the roadside smoking like an emo boy in this cold weather " "So you saw me the big idiot huh " I patted my butt stood up opened the car door and

got into the passenger seat "Is it convenient Yu " "Of course please fasten your seatbelt Where to handsome " "Home to pack my things " Ana was taken aback leaning in to sniff me "Have you been drinking Why are you packing Where are you going " "I broke up with Willow " My tone was so calm that Ana was incredulous "All these years I misjudged and loved the wrong person " I told her everything Willow had done including kissing someone randomly today Ana just listened quietly driving "I've grown to hate her and this city I

think it's time for me to go home I never got used to living in a big city " "And the studio What about us You're just going to quit and run home leaving a mess behind Bury your head in the sand when you encounter trouble " I scratched my head "Senior you're still here I'll leave the studio to you " "Enough " Ana glared at me fiercely "George listen to me Wherever you go I go Wherever you go the studio goes I've got your back so stop thinking about running away" The lease on the house

ended this month and I'd almost packed everything I didn't have much stuff in Beijing most of the things in the rented house were from the studio But Ana a true Beijinger threw her car at home grabbed two huge suitcases and followed me to the airport I was dumbfounded when I saw her "You're really doing this " "You think I was joking " Ana panted "Can't you be a gentleman Damn this is heavy " I was silent for a moment "What is this senior You should stay in Beijing I'll come visit you when I have time

" "Stop whining Get over here and help me with the check-in What are you looking at Never seen this before " I looked at Ana feeling a bit emotional She looked so beautiful today almost unrecognizable We had always been polite yet distant to each other and I had never really looked at her closely Today she wore a cream-colored coat and camel high heels her slightly curled long hair cascading over her shoulders Her tall slender figure was dashing and elegant Her eyes both charming and cool paired with her distinct features gave her an aloof air and

her words were particularly bold today Even on the plane I was still in a daze How did things get so strange between me and Ana "I've never been to your hometown " Ana gazed out the window at the clouds "I've lived in Beijing all my life and rarely been elsewhere Don't overthink it I'm just taking a trip to clear my mind As for Monkey and Big Yellow they will stay in Beijing With the internet so advanced no work problem can't be solved Don't worry " "Okay okay" After getting off the plane I noticed several missed

calls from an unknown number I called back and the person on the other end remained silent "Hello who is this " I frowned "If you don't speak I'll hang up " Ana glanced at me "Who is it " Hearing Ana's voice the person on the other end finally spoke "You have a woman with you " Anger surged within me "What's it to you " Willow realized I had blocked all her contacts and eventually used someone else's phone to call me "George " Willow paused "You never used to talk to me like this " "So what

" "So are you treating me this way because of that woman " My hand holding the phone trembled slightly disappointment and anger welling up inside "What exactly do you want to say " "Are you sure you don't want to reconcile with me and instead be with that woman " "To hell with you " I hung up and blocked the number Willow disgusted me I didn't realize one could start hating someone so quickly All the affection and thoughts I had for her vanished leaving only ugly memories I no longer wanted to recall Ana stared at me

in a daze "Was that Willow " "Yes I blocked her " "Do you regret it " I grabbed Ana's suitcase "Regret Not a bit She's just a burden I made the right decision to leave the past behind I feel so relieved Let's go home" It wasn't until I brought Ana to my doorstep that I realized Damn why did I bring a woman home This isn't right What kind of relationship do I have with Ana It's purely revolutionary friendship We weren't close enough to bring her home right This is so inappropriate Standing at the courtyard gate

I turned to look at Ana Ana blinked her big eyes at me "Uh Senior " "What " I originally thought of getting a hotel for her but suddenly remembered damn I live in a village I facepalmed "Uh nothing My house is a bit shabby You might not be used to it How about " "No need how could I not be used to it My family used to live in the countryside too " Just as I was scratching my head the gate opened and my parents ready for a walk glanced at us then looked at each

other quickly approached us bypassed me and grabbed Ana's hand My parents beamed with joy as if they had struck gold afraid Ana might run away "Are you George's girlfriend So beautiful We're so happy to have you here welcome " "This kid George didn't even call ahead We didn't prepare anything Look " Ana didn't refute just smiled sweetly at them handing over the gifts she brought Uncle and Auntie~ Sorry to disturb you so late I " "Oh don't say that You're not disturbing at all You're like family now no need to bring anything " I stood

there speechless The world mocks me while I stand alone 13 I stepped forward smiling awkwardly "Mom Dad Ana is not ow " Ana stepped on my foot with her heel "Not what " My parents glared at me waiting for me to continue "She just came back with me to discuss some business matters That's why we didn't notify you in advance " After my parents' enthusiastic hospitality including offering to cook a late-night snack we finally awkwardly stood in my room I was speechless Ana cleared her throat "Uh about that " "I understand I understand " I

pulled out a quilt from the cabinet "I'll sleep on the floor " Ana blushed and glanced at me "I meant can you step out first I need to take a shower and change into my pajamas " I immediately slipped out heading to the living room to devour some fruits Mom asked "Tell us honestly how did you find such a beautiful girlfriend Honestly I don't think you deserve her " "What do you mean I don't deserve her I'm handsome and talented a true hero who travels the world I definitely deserve her " "Yeah right " Dad

looked at me disdainfully "You must have something on her " I was speechless Just then a message popped up on my phone Fine George you're heartless Since you did this don't regret it I'll never talk to you again and you'd better not come begging me She never messaged me this frequently before What does she mean by this I replied with a single word: "Scram " and blocked the number Entering the room I still felt a bit awkward Ana was drying her hair "Um maybe I should sleep on the floor " Ana said feeling a bit

embarrassed "No need senior You’re a guest But why pretend to be my girlfriend " "Just wanted to make your parents happy You've been single for so many years of course they're worried Besides it's no big deal for me to pretend " "That's reasonable Thanks senior I'll treat you to a meal tomorrow and give you the bed " "Then I won't be polite " Ana lay down and I turned off the light and lay down too "Are you asleep " Ana asked softly "No I'm not " "Can you tell me how you fell for Willow "

"Why bring her up It's a mood killer " "I'm just curious " "Alright then " I lay there staring at the ceiling as did Ana blinking and waiting for me to speak "This is also Willow's hometown We met in high school " Memories like shadows always come with a layer of filter when you recall them In high school my family was poor While others ate lunch in the cafeteria I would eat near the abandoned washroom on the fourth floor with spicy sauce and pickles on bread always the same old combo That's when I met Willow

Though she was beautiful she had a wild streak She was swinging a branch swaggering upstairs and happened to pass by the west corner of the fourth floor where she saw me sneaking around like I was hiding from someone She approached me warily and asked "What are you hiding You better hand it over " I refused so she kept poking me with the branch I was only halfway through my meal and her actions made me furious I grabbed her stick and snapped it in half "See see You wanted to see right I’m just eating my meal

What's your problem " She looked at my lunchbox with disdain and said "You treat this as a treasure hiding to eat You're the one with the problem " Then she changed her tone and threatened "Go ask around about me Willow Everyone knows the fourth-floor washroom is my turf Since you’re here you have to share That's the rule " She snatched my lunchbox tore apart the bread scooped out the pickles and ran downstairs I was speechless Someone actually took my meal as protection money I felt a bit sorry for her thinking she must be really hungry

So I shouted down the stairs "You can eat but return the lunchbox when you're done " Before I finished my bread she was back panting with my lunchbox She said "If I take my little brother's protection fee I have to make sure he eats That's my rule as the boss " She opened the lunchbox which was now filled with egg fried rice This scene flashed first in my memory like the prologue of a story Then all those high school memories with Willow came flooding back like fragments leaving behind snapshots of her smiling face—the girl who

gave me White Rabbit candies between classes the girl who bought a new bike as an excuse to get a ride when my bike broke the girl who talked about university and future dreams with me by the roadside But there was one image one smile that was different Bullying a topic I couldn't avoid in high school It wasn't originally related to me but one day I wrote about it in an essay I detailed what I saw in the bathroom the dirty paper being rubbed on the victim's head After the teacher read my essay she called me

to the office I saw the bully being scolded by someone else She pretended to talk to me about other things but quietly asked if the person in my essay was the bully I nodded cautiously I thought nothing would happen but after class I was cornered on the playground I continued: "That day after they beat me fracturing my leg and were about to drag me to the bathroom to do the same Willow appeared " Still the wild her swinging the branch she said: "My little brother is under my protection If anyone touches him I have to

step in That's the rule " I stared at the dark ceiling the blurry memory refusing to clear up but I tried to recreate the scene as best as I could: "She was just a girl the branch was snapped again and she was dragged into the bathroom in my place Unlike the boy she came out looking unscathed " Willow stood in front of me smoothing her messy short hair and said "I told you you're under my protection You must have thought they defeated me right I was pretending to be weak Ha got you " "I knew

she was just pretending to be tough She always liked to act like the big boss in control " Ana asked "And then " "Then they were arrested and I heard even sent to jail Willow told me this while I was bedridden at home recovering " Ana kept asking: "Anything else " "She took care of me in school and was a pretty girl After that incident we were both ostracized so she stuck to me every day We played during breaks walked home together and ate by the washroom Having a pretty kind girl protect you during adolescence—how

could any guy not fall for her So I confessed but she lightly rejected me saying I only liked her because I was young She said if I still liked her in ten years she would agree " "Oh " Ana turned over "Alright enough I'm sleepy " "Okay goodnight senior " "Goodnight you jerk" Time flew by and Ana settled into my home I initially suggested renting a place for her but before she could speak my mom came charging in with a broom "Get out If you want Xiao Yu to move out we'll sever our mother-son relationship

" "Father-son too I don't have a dumb son like you " So Ana and I started a countryside life After work I took her to the fields telling her stories from my childhood Ana was very comfortable here In Beijing she ate out or ordered takeout every day Here she enjoyed three clean home-cooked meals daily with a variety of new dishes She even gained two pounds leading to morning runs together Life became interesting Time with Ana was relaxing and pleasant However I couldn’t admit one thing I gradually developed feelings for Ana I despised myself There should

be a gap between relationships Even though I fell out of love with Willow quickly it’s too soon to develop feelings for Ana I kept my distance never crossing the line or expressing these feelings It's a desecration of my feelings and unfair to Ana So I kept it buried But our peaceful days were disrupted by Willow's reappearance When Ana and I returned from our morning run we saw Willow getting out of her car She took off her sunglasses and looked Ana up and down "George you’re replacing me with this woman " I laughed in anger "Replace

you Seriously Do you even deserve to be replaced " Ana crossed her arms not getting angry and stood in front of me "So you’re Willow " "What am I famous " Willow stepped closer not backing down "No I'm just curious If you didn't value your relationship with George why come all the way here now " "First we've known each other for over ten years Who are you to interfere in our affairs Second this is my hometown Can't I come back " "Sorry but George’s business is my business He doesn’t want to see you right George

" I nodded and pulled Ana closer "First this is indeed your hometown Whether you come back or not is none of my business But this is my doorstep Why are you hanging around here Second she’s not an outsider You can leave now " I started to walk away with Ana but Willow called out "It’s okay George I admit I went too far before I understand you’re angry now but our ten years together can't be undone by a little hiccup can it " I smiled "Get lost" Willow frowned "Are you serious " "I'm very serious and

I’m done wasting words with you Just so you know seeing you disgusts me " Willow lowered her eyes looking very dejected "Can we talk alone " "I don't have time " Before Willow could say more I dragged Ana back home Ana and I seemed to have a mutual understanding as we didn’t mention Willow’s appearance at all Until the evening when I checked my phone and saw a message It was from Willow She had sent a photo her legs dangling in the air It was the local water tower she had climbed up just near my house

The water tower was high enough to be fatal if one fell "If you don’t come I’ll jump " I sneered and replied "Whether you jump or not is none of my business " "Let's end this George " Before I could block her she replied instantly "Let’s clear things up just you and me " Holding the phone my brain was bombarded with memories and the pain she had caused But I hesitated Finally I replied "We really have nothing to talk about " "Actually I have my reasons I didn’t stay with you because I have cancer If

you don’t come I’ll really jump I don’t have much time left anyway " I was dumbfounded The evening breeze brought a slight chill as I donned a jacket and headed to the water tower with a cigarette Willow stood there holding a branch staring at the distant fields "George you came " She turned tears still wet in her eyes I didn’t want to look at her focusing instead on my hand holding the cigarette "Nice ring Did she give it to you " Willow stepped closer looking at my hand "Ten years together and she’s more important than

me " "You’re sick " I stepped back and took a deep drag "I like the ring and I like her That's the truth " I blew smoke into the air "Remember You taught me to smoke but then you quit To be honest I thought I liked you for these ten years but it wasn't love " Willow choked up "Then what was it " "Dependency Comfort in the status quo not wanting change "Back then you protected me telling everyone I was your little brother your person Touching me meant touching you But thinking back you were the

big boss and I wasn’t the only little brother You must have had many some for long some for short "I followed you for ten years got used to obeying you to your attitude Because I thought I was pursuing you I did many things willingly thinking it was deserved " I looked at her coldly "Maybe I liked you during those ten years but you treated that affection like garbage" "You said you knew I liked you in the first year we met Why didn’t you reject me That's what I’m most curious about " "Because " She paused

for a long time before saying "Because you were my last fallback " "Last fallback " "Yes George you were my last fallback " She lifted her head looking at me earnestly "Let’s get married George " I laughed out loud "Willow you’re insane " She hugged me "George don’t push me away " "Willow let go I don’t want things to get ugly " "I won’t You used to love me the most Why are you doing this I’m even proposing just forgive me " I pushed her away adjusting my clothes "You said you had cancer I don’t

want to insult you so let’s keep some dignity I’m leaving " Willow grabbed me suddenly laughing "Hehe I don’t have cancer I lied Fooled you again " I sneered and shook her off "I expected as much " I turned to leave but Willow clung to my coat "Have some decency Last fallback Stop saying disgusting things Willow Seeing you now makes me sick What You treated me like dirt before and now you’re playing this game You only love yourself and care about your own interests Kissing a guy you met five minutes ago in a bar then

proposing to me " I looked at her and said clearly "I wish what you said was true Cursing yourself like this no one can save you Willow remember this I don’t like you anymore Not anymore Got it " I didn’t give her another glance and walked away only hearing the sound of the branch breaking behind me Walking back home I found Ana waiting at the intersection She stood there under the moonlight arms crossed tilting her head and smiling at me "Back already young master How was your meeting with the little lover " "You know exactly

who I went to meet and how long have you been eavesdropping Own up " Ana asked "Wait how did you know " I stepped closer and stared at her "Confess " "Oh you weren’t home and I was bored okay So I went for a walk and happened to see you sneaking around " "Who’s sneaking around " I facepalmed and looked seriously at Ana "You heard what she said right Put yourself in my shoes What would you think " "Well to be blunt I’d feel disgusted " I spread my hands "Exactly I was utterly disgusted So

don’t think I have any lingering feelings for her You " Ana burst out laughing I was puzzled "What are you laughing at " "You’re explaining yourself to me Could it be " Ana looked at me with a sly smile "You’ve fallen for me " I panicked and waved my hands but Ana quickly grabbed my flailing hands "I heard the whole thing I think I heard someone say they liked me " "I I I " "What's with the stammering You said you liked the ring and you liked her Didn’t I give you that ring " "You

you you " "Cut it out coward " Ana pulled my arm "Let’s go home" A few months later On the day Ana and I got married Willow showed up She was wearing loose clothes and slippers with a hat on looking swollen like a pregnant woman quite different from before but still recognizable Seeing her I felt nothing—no disgust no hatred No lament about the ravages of time It was like seeing a random person on the street or an old man passing by on the subway This person had nothing to do with me I wouldn't care or

invest any emotion "You’re here come in " Willow looked stunned then her eyes reddened "George " She wanted to say something but I cut her off "Didn't the baby’s father come with you " I asked politely She looked down at herself paused for a few seconds and said with a choked voice "The baby’s father doesn’t know " I thought to myself damn it just say he’s busy or something Now it’s awkward for everyone Just don’t make a scene at my wedding I beg you I laughed awkwardly "Hahaha Please take a seat " "No I just

wanted to see you " She raised her hand as if to touch my face and I stepped back bumping into a waiter "Oh sorry sorry " I quickly apologized thinking of an excuse to send her away "You’re getting more handsome and look at me now " I who cares about your looks This isn’t a movie "I know you don’t want to see me I just wanted to apologize " A friend nearby saw what was happening knowing my history with Willow and rushed over with a mocking tone: "Oh who is this lady " He glanced at

her and continued "How many months along Little girl or boy " I whispered "This is Willow Get her out of here don’t let her cause trouble " "Hahaha you chat I’ll be back Busy day today " With that I turned and walked away heading straight for my wife Soon after the wedding began After the ceremony Ana and I started toasting the guests My friend suddenly came over and whispered "Willow left looked really sad " "Uh-huh " I was busy toasting I felt no ripples in my heart as if a fly had been buzzing in the

corner and then flew away My happiness was right here in front of me And Willow everything about her had nothing to do with me