every moment of your life you're answering three questions jot them down three questions first question is what are you going to focus on right now whatever you're focusing on affects you if you're focusing on how you're going to use what you're going to learn this weekend you could be focusing on the smell of your neighbor after all that jumping up and down there's so many things you can focus on we don't focus on everything we focus on a small number of things and that's what we experience in life and focus write down equals feeling whatever
you focus on you're going to feel even if it's not true true have you ever had somebody tell you something and said you think John is your friend John's not your friend he's talking behind your back and you go no he's not John's my friend you misunderstood but if two or three people tell you John's talking behind your back you can get pretty pissed off because that's really just hurt right and then maybe you confront John who's ever done this confronted somebody about something you've done and then found out you were wrong and felt like
an idiot who's ever had this happen before say I so the most powerful decision we make and most of us don't make it consciously is what are we going to focus on cuz you could be focusing right now on the blood rushing through your left ear or the touch of your clothes against your skin but you don't most of what your brain does is distort delete and generalize to Mak life simple and the problem is when you distort delete and generalize you miss a lot of your life so we want to kind of see if
we can't get out of that and what we got to do is figure out what the focus is let me give you three patterns of focus you tell me which of these are you and there's no right or wrong and don't get personal about it cuz if you don't don't like your answer we can fix it I want to think like software here's my question if I asked you there are two things you could focus on what you have or what's missing which one do you spend more time focusing on shout it out you can
hear in the room you not taking a pole one is dominant raise your hand if you focus more on What's Missing raise your hand nice and high keep your hands high and look around this room it's about 95% of the room now I have a simple question for you it's a really important question it's a simple one but important one just think software don't think personality if your brain is constantly focusing what's missing how can you ever sustain happiness no matter how successful you become it is impossible raise your hand if you see this and
it's dominant in this room because most of you how many consider yourself to be an achiever that's part of who you are as an identity so as an achiever looking for what's wrong for a moment so you can fix it can be a good thing but what happens it becomes a habit and then it doesn't matter how much you achieve you're not happy you know how many multi-billionaires you how many entertainers with their Oscars or their emms or their Grammys that I work with who you think would be the happiest people in the world they're
worth almost a billion dollars some of them they're the best in the world at what they do everybody loves them and they're miserable I get the call and why is it it's because they keep focusing on What's Missing no matter what they have that's one pattern this weekend if you only change that would change your life what happens when you focus on what you have you feel alive you feel no scarcity you feel Joy how many of you have lots of things in your life that if you focused on it you could feel grateful for
you could feel excited about how many you got lots of things like this now say I but it doesn't exist unless you focus on it and we all have patterns of focus the second question is what does this mean cuz the minute you focus on something you have to give it a meaning is this the end or the beginning is God punishing me that's why this problem happened is God challenging me or is this problem a gift from God see if you think it's the end of a relationship are you going to feel the same
way act the same way as if you think it's the beginning of a relationship yes or no no the meaning changes the answer to the third question which is what am I going to do because meaning equals emotion whatever you give a meaning you're going to have a feeling if you think God is punishing you you're going to have a very different feeling from that meaning than you think God is challenging you or this problem as a gift from God how many follow here say I people often times have trouble in their relationship you know
why in the beginning of a relationship what's your focus are you trying to get them to give you things is that the primary focus when you really love somebody what will you do for them shout it out what will you do what will you do what will you do if someone says to you would you take out the trash go take out the trash what else can I do for you in the beginning but after 7 Days 7 weeks 7 months 7 years or 70 years somewhere between 7 days and 70 years they go could
you take out their you go what do I look like you're janitor you I don't know what it is we used to have so much passion what happened if you do what you did in the beginning of the relationship at the end of the relationship there won't be in it because in the beginning it wasn't a trade you weren't measuring you're meaning you were focused on how to give how many can relate to this here say I once you start measuring what you're getting it's a transaction transactions don't make anyone feel good long term I'll
give you another one on Focus another pattern do you tend to focus more on what you can control or what you can't control what's outside your control which do you tend to focus more on what you can control or can't control and watch this it'll be a different pattern this room I guarantee you raise your hand if you focus more on what you can control raise your hand keep your hands up nice and I look around it's about 80% how many focus on what you can't control can't control it's about 20 so it's about 7525
or 80 20 but notice this one is more focused on what you can control more people that's why you came here how many of came here you could take more control of some area of your life here say I that's why you're here and how many of you know someone that you wish came with you that freaking needs this way more than you do and they're not here why they focus on What's Missing I guarantee you and they focus on what they can't control or they think this it's just some guy talking that can't change
your life which is really an unconscious belie Bel that I can't change now some of you have both what's missing is your focus and what you can't control how are you going to feel just forget you personally think is it a software in the brain what is someone going to feel is constantly focus on What's Missing and what they can't control what would you have to feel my friends come on tell me sad frustrated angry depressed but think about this this is how we function so why are they still depressed because they're still focusing on
What's Missing and they're focused on what they can't control and I'll add one more do you tend to focus more on things from the past the present or the future we all do all three but where do you spend more of your time raise your hand it's the past now look around the room it's only about maybe 1 or 2% of the room cuz if you focused too much in the past you wouldn't even come to a program like this you might get enough of it say I want to change it but if you focus
on the past since you can't control it makes it pretty tough how many focus more in the present that's where you spend more of your time in the present moment how many focus more on the future watch this look at this future B room here because that's what Achievers do right we're focused on how to create a better future many of you came for that so what's the goal well certainly you want to use all three but if you're going to spend your predominate time and you want enjoyment it's the present if you want to
be create a great life it's the future so it's a balance between the present and future these three patterns alone can change your whole life what if you came here and you're always focused on What's Missing we retrain your brain to find all the unbelievable magic and magnificence in your life and you keep seeing it feeling it daily will they give you more energy or less energy how a lot more energy and that's what's going to change it all so our focus is the first question second question is what's going to mean is this the
end or the beginning will that change how you feel and what based on how you feel will you answer what to do differently you bet these three questions are happening every moment of your [Music] life for