this is the number one most underrated skill for success in living the life that you have always dreamed of and it's not intelligence and it's not luck and it's not who you know you see I used to make $50,000 a year in a job that I hated and I leveled up my life by mastering my emotions now I run a multi-million dollar business have an incredible husband and living my dream life so let's dive into how to master your emotional control because doing so consistently will make you so much money the number one underrated skill
that is so easy to develop is the ability to be consistent nobody grows up and thinks man I can't wait to be an adult and become consistent but consistency is what creates confidence in you consistency is what allows you to trust yourself and once you trust yourself other people will trust you as well consistency means no matter how I feel I'm going to do it anyway because I've made commitments and I have responsibilities that I have to show up for and you can't be an inconsistent person and have people have a lot of trust in
you in order to make a lot of money in order to get to where you want to go the people around you need to trust you but that first starts with you being consistent your emotions will have you go up and down and urge you to not be consistent you might say I want to have a six-pack and then your feelings make it so that you don't want to not hit snooze not sleep in not get off your couch and stop watching Netflix or YouTube so whatever it is that you want start small start today
what you need to be consistent at and often times when I ask people this question they instantly know where their current area of inconsistency is it could be with what you eat it could be with what you drink it could be how you're spending money or the relationships that you have or the meetings and the followup that you say that you're going to do whatever that first initial gut reaction is where you know that you aren't being consistent attack that first how do you show up in a way that creates consistency because ultimately consistency creates
the confidence over time that you're looking to have in order to make more money and there are so many things in this life that you cannot control you cannot control where you were born you cannot control the experiences that you've had you can't control things that have happened to you but what can you control you can control how consistently you show up regardless of circumstances this means showing up to meetings on time and being consistent in every single thing that you do you can only Master the skill of consistency if you get your emotions in
check I used to be so inconsistent sometimes I would show up and I would use my personality and my charm to make you think that I was really going to follow up but then as soon as I left you I was on to the next conversation where I was using my personality and my charm to feel good in the moment but to not actually get the work done so if you have that tendency it is the fastest thing for you to fix what you say you're going to do go do it the second emotion that
you have to master is what keeps most people stuck because you will lose in life if you take everything personally you have to learn how to compartmentalize if you want to be successful what's Wild to me is on the exact same day that there is a huge win and there's something so exciting going on there can be something terrible that happens somebody decides to quit maybe a customer is upset maybe an order didn't get fulfilled or some connection point Didn't happen with our bank account and our Shopify store all sorts of bad things can happen
at the exact same time that you're celebrating and wanting to keep momentum in another area the more of these buckets that you can play in the more successful you will be because your day doesn't have to be ruined just because something didn't go well you compartmentalize that it's in a bucket okay this initiative in my life is not making progress however there are other buckets that still need to make progress and you can't just ruin the chances of those buckets making progress all because one bucket isn't going very well but the challenge is it is
so easy to let the one bad thing ruin all of your hopes of putting work into everything else because it's distracting because your emotions get in the way and you're just defocused on all of the other things so how can you learn to compartmentalize and say it's okay that this is going bad I have to move forward and progress no matter what in these other areas the way that I've learned to do this very successfully is by putting meetings on my calendar for the different compartments that matter in my life those compartments are the work
that I need to do or the things that have to be accomplished in order for me to get closer to my goals so in the morning I might be working on one set of goals and there's roadblocks and there's barriers and there's issues with the thing that I have to do for the first 90 minutes of my day that cannot bleed over into this next compartment where I am now going after a different goal I'm the same person but I'm going after a different goal this goal needs me just as much as the first one
did I can't drag all of the crap from the first one into the second one and I just do this hour by hour by hour with every meeting that I have and I look at it as every meeting is a restart it is a restart to the goal it is a restart to the moment to the team that I'm with they need me all in on whatever that thing is because that goal is important and when you can start to compartmentalize these things you can move through so many decisions that you have to make and
so many goals go that you have very quickly because you're not just dragging in the negativity from something that is completely detached from what you actually need to get done right now you will know how good you are at compartmentalizing when you start looking at the results of the compartments in your life if you are not succeeding at the gym it is likely that there's some other compartment in your life maybe your work maybe it's your kids maybe it's your spouse where you're letting that goal and the issues in that area force you to not
take your gym goal goals very seriously because you're not compartmentalizing very well you're allowing the negativity and the problems in one compartment to bleed over to the other so your results are the ultimate tell of your ability to compartmentalize and if all of the buckets in your life are going up they're turning in the right direction you're more fit than you've ever been you're making more money than you've ever made you have more friends and your social life is fulfilling and rewarding to you whatever it is that you're measuring whatever your compartments are if they
aren't increasing and they aren't doing better likely that you don't know how to compartmentalize very well you know you're good at compartmentalizing if you're seeing results results equal money if you're not making more money every year then you know that you're failing at compartmentalizing and you're spending your time in the wrong buckets my next tip one of the best ones is it's so important to regulate your emotions when you're at work this is very controversial but the only emotion allowed in the workplace is celebration there should be no drama there shouldn't be issues and problems
and freakouts and gossip none of that emotion is productive in business the only emotion should be celebrating and when you're celebrating it should be because there is a result generated if you're bringing emotion like frustration and angst and tears and all of this g into your work it's likely that your work is not going to be very productive because productive workplaces don't have a lot of fluff going on the best businesses drive a culture that is optimized a culture that is aligned a culture where everybody knows what they need to do how to get their
job done and they are all racing in order to make that happen so that they can achieve their goals so you are misleading yourself if you think that anybody actually cares about what your emotions are so acknowledge that you have the emotion you might feel sad you might feel tired you might be upset okay great then instantly tell yourself but nobody cares because they don't drive results figure out how to keep showing up become better show up being focused and you will actually create an environment that succeeds I love the book If you have to
cry go outside because it doesn't say if you have to cry don't you can have emotions you're a human being I have emotions where I get very overwhelmed or I get very sad or worried about things and I can experience those emotions but I don't have to subject the people around me to my emotions I can deal with my emotions and I ask myself can the person that I'm telling my emotions to fix anything if they can't fix anything there's no place for the emotion if you want to be a leader emotional regulation is what
gives people the confidence to follow you we'll go more in depth on this in the last tip which is my ultimate hack to changing your mindset in the workplace that brings us to number four which is to understand that the way you speak is ruining your credibility this is a subtle Nuance but if you struggle with people taking you seriously it's likely how you're communicating with them them and you're bringing in Emotion simply by starting a sentence with I feel or I think it doesn't come from a place of certainty doesn't come from a place
of confidence so if you're struggling with this audit the way that you communicate if you find that you start many of your sentences with I feel like it should be this you should pivot that to this is what the data tells us if you knew that you had to start sentences with this is what the data tells us all of a sudden you would have to provide data instead of your feelings this little hack will make you more money because often times we do just make decisions based off of the way that we feel and
we don't consult any data we don't do any research we aren't diving deeper into the issues at hand outside of the way that we feel about them so when you start your sentences with talking about data it instantly increases your credibility and in order to catch yourself before you just start vomiting all over somebody the way that you feel take a pause there is nothing more profound in communication then a pause when you pause you can quickly reflect and identify do I have data to support the way that I feel the thing that I'm about
to say if I don't have data don't talk focus on the data and let the data make the decision not your emotions in that moment my fifth tip is all about handling relationships at work and not the professional ones working with your boyfriend your husband your family member or your partner could be the best decision you'll ever make or could be the worst everyone says you should never date a coworker but what if you marry one it is so easy to get emotional when you're working with your spouse or a sibling or your uncle or
an aunt or your parents emotions can run wild I know this personally because I have worked with my husband for almost a decade I work with my brother I've worked with various family members throughout my career and it can be challenging so if you do work with your family this whole conversation around emotions becomes heightened because nobody wants to work in an emotional environment where you feel like you are part of a family business I remember one specific meeting I was in with Brandon very early on in our relationship and at that point we had
never had any issues we were still in kind of the Blissful phase but in this meeting he decided to pop off on me for the very first time and I was shocked I was so upset I wish that he would have said these things to me somewhere else not in front of a group of people he didn't need to call me out this way and to be honest with you I was just freaking pissed but instead of getting pissed in front of everybody I had to have the emotional intelligence and awareness of the group to
not just pop off back at him that would have been the wrong thing for me to do me just going off and being emotional would have decreased everybody's confidence in the two of us so from my perspective he stepped out of line a little bit he was like not supposed to do that that was not what the agreement was but I didn't choose to take him on about it right in that moment and this has been something that has worked so successfully for me over the years if ever I'm frustrated with working with one of
my family members I pull them aside and handle them on it directly I'm not going to subject everybody else in our company to the emotions that I might have with a family member it's not to say I don't have emotions sometimes something might hurt my feelings the way something's dressed a decision that's made I might not be okay with I'm not going to subject our team members to having to pick sides BR and I going to handle that stuff together we're going to handle it in private then we're going to come back to our team
and be a unified front we don't call each other out we're not going to cause problems because nobody wants to be part of a workplace or that level of toxicity or that level of drama exists keep in mind that if you're in a relationship in the workplace it can be seen as having an unfair advantage that's just what perception will be but your circumstances are no different having the upper hand with family money or being born with privilege your unique circumstances are like your fingerprint you can't wish that they are different they are what they
are you get to make the choice to celebrate the fact that you get to work with your partner and find success together you chose this but it doesn't mean that you have to subject everybody around you to your ups and your Downs keep it professional make great decisions get an alignment behind closed doors so that you can present a unified front to everybody around you strategy six is to understand that people will doubt you they will label you and they will underestimate you but they can't ignore results a hard truth I wish I knew way
earlier was that you can outwork any stereotype for the longest time my perception of my stereotype is what held me back I assumed that every single person that met me thought that I was a trophy wife thought that I was a gold digger thought that I was just some dumb blonde who didn't know what she was talking about and my own perception of these stereotypes is what held me back because if I'm assuming that everybody is thinking this about me what's the point of working hard or trying or overcoming stereotypes because people are going to
think these terrible things anyway it doesn't matter what they think what matters is what I think what I know is my greatest contribution is when I am driving something specific forward when I'm taking on a large goal a significant project and I am creating results that's what makes me happy so regardless if somebody assumes that Brandon is the person who created All of My Success doesn't really matter because I know who I've had to become in order to get to where I'm at and those stereotypes are going to be there no matter what people might
think I'm smart they could think I'm dumb who cares someone could think I'm pretty somebody could think I'm ugly who cares somebody could think that I would never be successful without my husband or I'm only successful and he holds me back doesn't matter they don't actually know know anything about me they don't know anything about my relationship and that is the same for you and the real truth is no one's really thinking that much about you anyway so you going after the results that you want to create and the impact that you want to make
in this world is the only thing you should focus on anyway people's thoughts will come and go their perspective will come and go you making a difference is literally the only thing that matters and the only thing that you should get emotional about is the fact that you haven't made a big enough difference so you need to get your ass up and get back to work that brings us to the final tip for controlling your emotions which is to let people judge and label you it is crazy how men can get called a boss while
women get called a when they are acting the exact same to be honest I'm fine with being called either one if you want to call me a boss super cool if you want to call me a whatever I don't really care because these labels don't matter because what really matters is are you effective the labels and the things people say about you really does not matter and it's okay that there might be some hypocrisy around being called a if you're a woman and being called a boss if you're a man we as women don't need
to care about that because all we have to do is be effective now if you actually are a because you're rude to people you don't care about people's feelings you just ramrod your way through life and through people then maybe you should fix that but what I find with those people is they don't actually end up getting the results that they want they end up with teams that are very fractured with businesses that aren't very successful so that eventually catches up to you but if you're called a because really you are effective and you are
direct don't even bother with being frustrated by that because at the end of the day you're getting the job done which is what matters I learned this little trick from Elena Cardone I cannot take any credit for this I stocked her YouTube before I ever met her and she reframed being a gold digger she had been called a gold digger by lots of people and it really bothered her for a while until she reframed it and her reframe was yes I do dig for gold in every relationship and I dig for gold in myself so
being a gold digger actually is not a bad thing when you redefine it like that she's actually proud of that because she knows that she's not just in some relationship in order to make money or have Financial Security she's in a relationship where she's created love and a true partnership and a real Bond she's not insecure about her relationship but this label sounded bad so she just reframed the label I dig for Golden people and that is a beautiful thing so if you're being called a or some label that you don't like that frustrates you
that might get under your skin figure out a reframe for that if it's being called a reorganize your brain to say hey that actually means that I'm being direct and decisive direct and decisive are fantastic characteristics being able to reframe labels and truly mat master your emotions is just the first step to getting everything that you want in life what's holding you back likely isn't just your mindset it's probably your habits too so watch this next video on the nine habits you need to learn to be part of the top 1%