A harmless addiction...

this video is sponsored by the book summary app blinkist use my link in the description and you receive a 7-Day free trial and 40% off blinkist annual premium membership I was somewhat apprehensive when I first tried it but I was also excited it was another way of attempting to inject the hope of novelty into an otherwise painfully mundane life or perhaps mundanely painful in either case when I pressed that button for the first time I felt a new world open up it was surreal warm invigorating relieving I felt powerful yet calm like I could do

anything it was an experience that would be impossible to describe to the version of myself that existed prior to pressing the button now I'm sitting with the same device in my hand the eell 6 looking out at morine Lake in B National Park in Alberta Canada it's beautiful but Beauty no longer captivates me nothing does I've only been sitting here for a few minutes I'm listening to the birds the breeze the water and the other people it's peaceful and I'm uncomfortable my hand almost Tremors as it awaits my conscious brain's permission to start moving I

try to stay strong still looking out at the water and the mountains but without even realizing it my fingers have already begun to move then I disappear place after place I go with but a few moments spent at each I Rush by them all leaving almost as quickly as I arrive I go from the shore of morine Lake to a street in New York City to a soccer game at a stadium in Italy on and on I go I find myself in my friend horus's apartment I don't fully remember getting here I don't even really

remember choosing to go here it's been happening more and more recently I'll show up somewhere without even really realizing or choosing it horse's girlfriend Cynthia is also here we're talking at their kitchen table they're telling me about how hard it was to lock down their new apartment the one we are currently in rent is higher than ever they say it's difficult finding a good place in a good area that's affordable they say property managers are always tricky they say I know all of this but small talk is all talk when your friends are mostly momentary

appearances in a constantly fast forwarded existence I share with them some of the similar problems I've had in the past I think they're listening but it's hard to tell I think I'm communicating clearly but that's also hard to tell we seem to be in the same conversation but it also feels fragmented like we're constantly going backwards to retrieve our pieces regardless of the relevance to where we are in the conversation I am bored restless and anxious there is a brief pause in the conversation and I take this as an opportunity to ask Horus and Cynthia

if they want to transmit to somewhere no we've been trying to stay in one place a bit more lately we've also been trying to walk and drive whenever we can it's been nice Horus tells me Cynthia agrees this frustrates me a little admittedly I know that's unsavory of me I should be supportive but in instead I'm frustrated I'm frustrated that if I transmit to somewhere right now I'll have to go alone oh all right I say with a tone that is both accepting but also intentionally leaves room for them to change their minds they don't

good for them I guess I think to myself kind of lame though we sit quietly for a few more seconds which I take as another opportunity this time to get up and use the bathroom I stare myself in the bathroom mirror my eyes are both wide and baggy I look both awake and tired I used to do this thing where I would stare at myself in the mirror with my nose nearly pressed right up against the glass and I would stay like that until I a no longer recognize myself in the reflection I don't have

to do that anymore I notice in the reflection my eelli is in my hand that's odd because I don't remember taking it out of my pocket I must have taken it out subconsciously weird I think I want to just stay here tonight with Horus and Cynthia I should reconnect more with them they're two friends whom I've had for a very long time and I'm very close with but I've recently Fallen further and further away from I should stay here I'm with my colleague Terren we're at the base of the iffel tower it's massive it's busy

it smells weird I don't remember making plans with Terren I don't remember getting here I guess Horus and Cynthia didn't want to come I'm at a cafe in Barcelona I'm by myself now I'm drinking coffee on the patio on the sidewalk I'm at a dive bar in Chicago and with another one of my friends CJ we're drinking whiskey it's dark and it smells like piss I'm at the historic sanctuary of Machu Picchu alone I'm looking at the ruins of the 15th century Inca civilization it's interesting but kind of boring and it makes me think too

much about death and the end of everything I'm at a historic Pub in the heart of the docklands in London I'm watching a bar fight as I drink a beer I'm in my bed it is the next morning Sunday morning I don't remember much of where I went yesterday I was at each place no more than a few minutes a few seconds in most cases over the span of the day and night I must have gone to hundreds of different places maybe thousands when you do that much and go to that many places spinning your

head like a basketball in the finger of dissatisfaction everything becomes a blur I'm frustrated with myself this keeps happening once I start going it's like I can't stop I just keep going never presently in any one place in any one moment I wanted to have a nice day and night I wanted to go to maybe one or two or three places I wanted to stay with Horus and Cynthia for a while and maybe have another old friend or two join us at the very least I wanted to focus and get a couple important things done

I didn't do any of that I'll make up for it today though no questions asked no excuses I'm getting lunch in Copenhagen my eelli must be malfunctioning because I don't even remember choosing this place or any place for that matter I could have sworn I had just woken up my eyes are still crusty two of my friends show up Charlie and Alex they love transmitting to places we get some food and our rellies are already out we're ready to go we try to coordinate our plans as best we can that's always hard to do we

are at Cuda beach in Bali we're at the Los Angeles County Museum of Art in California we're at Alex's apartment we're at a bar and restaurant on the coast of Maine we're looking at the bridge of size in Venice we're moving so quickly however we lose each other we are on our own separate routes now for the rest of the day I continue to go to more places trying to coordinate with Charlie and Alex as well as other friends and colleagues as best I can but I'm mostly just going to places by myself countless places

by myself I'm in my bed it's the next morning Monday morning I have to go to work my head hurts I'm tired and anxious I was supposed to be at work 10 minutes ago I'm at my workstation I open my display screens and begin working I need to get this work done today it was due last week I can't transmit anywhere today I need to stay here focused I'm walking the streets of Tokyo just one place for a little while is fine it is night here the colorful Neon Lights of the signage and advertisements violently

flash against my eyes my eyes barely notice I pass by thousands of people as they pop in and out of the city streets I'm back in my workstation it's harder to focus now I pull up more display screens and begin to review some work documents comprising words numbers and symbols that mean very little to me I don't know why I'm doing what I'm doing I don't care about it I need this job though I need to get this work done today I'm on an observation deck on a New York City skyscraper I'm watching a man

in a suit proposed to what I presume is his girlfriend I can't help but laugh I'm on a couch with Charlie and Alex I'm at the Museum of Fine Arts in Boston there are protesters here I'm back at work I'm home I'm back at work I'm home I'm at a concert with friends I don't know the artist I don't recognize them people seem to really like her though the crowd is making me claustrophobic and it's kind of boring I can't really see anything too well I never understood why people go to concerts I'm in the

French Countryside alone the landscape is vast the people are scarce it's way too quiet and there's way too much space I'm back at work I'm home I'm back at work I'm home I'm at the Santa Monica pier in California with Charlie we play one round of one of the carnival games I've lost track of the time of the day of the week I continue to go to more and more places and more places and more places I am barely at any of them I am moving faster and faster Time Slips further and further away time

is meaningless everything is meaningless I want everything to end I'm in some sort of Quarry I'm at the bottom of it standing on what I assume is bedrock how did I get here how many years have gone by I honestly don't remember much of anything prior to that first teleportation device I tried there are mining vehicles around me and up the paths carved out out of the Quarry walls there is no one in any of them there's no one around at all I'm used to being alone I'm almost always alone most people have either left

my life or I've left theirs a lot of friends and family have scorned My Lifestyle telling me I need to slow down or stop many have left me because of it there are so many ultimatums I failed to oblige I get it but it would be nice to be loved at least once in a while as I am not who I'm supposed to be maybe then it would be easier to be who I'm supposed to be the area surrounding the Quarry looks familiar there are old abandoned towers and buildings in the distance that I recognize

I know where I am this is by my childhood home I used to come here a lot with my friends we would walk around and ride our bikes through the trails in the surrounding Woods I think we camped here a few times as well I can't think of the last time I spent time like that with friends or anyone including myself where there was nowhere to go and no one to be or not be and I was happy with that I hear faint footsteps against gravel I look up and see the silhouette of someone at

the top of the Quarry it's a man he's looking at me staring at me I stare back at him he's waving now I wave back but with discomfort I don't like waving at strangers I don't like strangers at all now he's walking down the Quarry wall toward me is that Horus I yell unsure hey his familiar voice voice heels back he walks all the way down to the bottom to meet me we hug holy how long has it been he asks genuinely I'm not sure but I guess I don't know a few years wow how

you been um all right how about you good great he says what are you doing here I ask Cynthia and I live just a little up the road you remember our apartment right we bought a house just a few blocks from there I go on little walks every day sometimes I come here for Old Time sake you know he pauses how about you what are you doing here I don't say anything I'm embarrassed I think he knows why I'm here my pause is long enough that it says everything Horus moves his head a bit and

widens his eyes he waits for a moment I'm just hanging out I guess I say Horus shakes his head like he understands what's behind my words all right well hey man I'll leave you to it it was great seeing you he begins to fully turn around and walk away but then he stops and turns around again you know when I first tried it I thought teleportation was the coolest thing ever and it is cool but I've realized it isn't really anything new or different or exciting I'd been teleporting long before I ever had an eelli

before physical teleportation was ever invented whatever tools devices or methods I could use to leave the moment in my body and mind mind to uproot any emotions before they sprouted and blossomed inside of me for me to have to take care of in water I would do it I would constantly keep moving I would distract myself with quick Simple Pleasures I would numb my faculties all of that always takes you somewhere new or further away but wherever it takes you you still end up there the problem isn't about where you are or who you are

with or even what you are doing it's about you it's about how you feel and the quality of your experience and I found that that gets better with patience slowness Simplicity attention a willingness to be wherever you are and open to whatever is happening Horus looks down toward the side of my torso I follow his gaze my eell is in my hand I don't remember taking it out it must have already been there do whatever you want live however you want I love you either way man but if you want you can join me on

my walk back right now we can look around a bit talk a bit catch up a bit he points up the Quarry walls it'll take longer but it will feel better for longer I look down at my eelli then at him I look up at the Quarry walls where should I go from here I wondered to myself thank you for watching existing is extremely disorienting existing in the modern world only seems increasingly so there's so much that seems to want to take control from us the books the world beyond your head by Matthew B Crawford

and dopamine Nation by Dr Anna lmy provide transformative insights around this problem covering things like the Pains of chasing pleasure how to find balance gain back self-control and focus and Forge individuality in the modern world using this video sponsor blinkist you can learn from the books and so many more in Just Around 15 minutes each by condensing over 7,500 of the best non-fiction books and podcasts across tons of different categories into thoughtfully organized and beautifully written 15minute text and audio explainers blinkist allows you to easily discover tons of New Perspectives absorb life-changing ideas and explore

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