I have more christmas movies to complain about

hey guy welcome back to the present unless of course you're watching this in the future in which case welcome to the past so Christmas is in 329 days what better time to make a video about it I'm sorry I racked my brain trying to come up with a different topic for this I saw a lot of you guys ask me to make a video about the hype House show on Netflix so I turned it on and then blacked out after about 4 seconds and woke up in my bathtub covered in sweat I thought about doing

one about Elmo's beef with that rock but that would have been like a minute long I thought about coming on here and admitting that I don't care what clothes the green Eminem is wearing I still want to have sex with it but then I thought about it some more and I realized that a lot of people had to reschedule Christmas activities this year because there was this mysterious virus going around I don't know if you've heard of it so if you're anything like me you had to do all that stuff in the middle of January

sort of a a Christmas 2.0 if you will so think of that as what this video is a second chance at Christmas which I would like to copyright because that's a great title for a Hallmark movie never mind I just Googled it apparently there's like four of those anyway the movies I'm going to be talking about today are called No Sleep till Christmas and Holly's Holiday the two things these films have in common is that the plots are ridiculous and they're also not really Christmas movies in spite of how they're marketed they just take place

in December but I digress let's start with No Sleep till Christmas this movie made me so angry that by the end Amanda and I were practically screaming at our television without spoiling too much because I want you to discover the Madness as I did one of the main characters gets completely [ __ ] over despite doing nothing wrong and then the movie ends and then to make it even worse the reviews are mostly positive people love it this person watched it three times this person liked it uh but then watched it again and didn't like

it which is kind of a weird way to judge a movie but go off sis another thing real quick uh when we first started watching this I saw in the opening credits that two people had the same last name so I assumed oh that that must be her brother and I continued to think that they were siblings until a little too far into the movie they're married so probably not brother and sister speaking of getting married this movie is about Lizzy whose wedding is coming up in about 6 weeks which means it's time to start

planning look I'm no wedding expert I've only been married once but that is too late to start planning oh [ __ ] babe our wedding's tomorrow should we start inviting people and even though Lizzie is an expert event planner supposed to be one of Chicago's leading event Planning Companies she has no ideas for the wedding and she is so stressed out about it she can't sleep she's tried everything reading books throwing books on the ground counting sheep 1,000 sheep but even after this hilarious insomnia Montage nothing's working it's important to point out her fiance Josh

is extremely loving and supportive he stays up with her he takes her to a Sleep Clinic he sends her flowers at work really he's an all-around great guy who's got his [ __ ] together and loves Lizzy which is why it's confusing when the movie seemingly introduces another love interest unlike Josh Billy is a lazy unambitious alcoholic who is currently burning a turkey stepping on a pie and getting dumb I don't think this is working this guy sucks sure wouldn't make any sense if the main character ended up choosing him over Josh I wonder if

she will side note have you ever noticed how often in movies someone Burns a turkey on Thanksgiving no offense to anyone who's done that before but to me this seems practically impossible unless you accidentally set the oven to like 900° it takes so long to cook one that usually by the time it's halfway done I'm finished with all the other sides everyone is starving and now pretty much only waiting on the turkey so we're essentially huddled around the oven hoping if we stare at it hard enough the top will turn brown how do people burn

turkeys I don't get it anyway we learn that this guy can't sleep either so I guess that similarity will eventually become the Cornerstone of their relationship yeah man you just need to learn how to sleep if I don't get any sleep it's going to ruin everything not even super mega baseball can knock this guy out so he goes for a run while she goes for a drive which is an unbelievably dangerous thing to do while sleep deprived especially when the goal is to fall asleep I mean that seemed inevitable hey wait a minute that's not

Billy Unfortunately they both survived the accident so she had to take him to the hospital where they bicker in the parking lot before falling asleep did I just sleep I can't believe I actually slept this is lifechanging now she has ideas for the wedding and he's able to dodge this glass what the but sure enough nighttime rolls around and they can't fall asleep they need each other how romantic isn't the right word bizarre I was going to say bizarre so she meets back up with him and this is where the movie starts abusing the hell

out of the slept together joke in the car the night we slept together but not like that so he become something of a sleep prostitute for her in that she pays him money to you know will you please try to sleep with me again but not like that and even if it works now what happens after you're married are you just going to keep sleeping with this other guy no sir it's not like that so every night she sneaks out meets up with the guy she hit with her car so they can sleep in the

same Hotel bed together that's right in addition to paying him money is also spending hundreds of dollars a night on a hotel room in typical romcom fashion you see them act progressively flirtier with each other only in this movie it's weird as [ __ ] because she's literally engaged and we're supposed to be rooting for this how about figure something else out are you sure this isn't getting out of hand what are you talking about we're just sleeping together oh my God no it's not like that then there's the boner scene and this one can

you sit on Uncle B's lap please don't do that please don't sit on his lap for several minutes might be wondering where her fiance is in all of this at least she told him about it right no it's a secret he's just working at the hospital saving up money for their wedding sometimes he works overnight which is great for Lizzy because she doesn't have to come up with a lie and you can see how this movie doesn't really work as a typical romcom because as they continue to go through the motions I'm just wincing the

whole time I'm waiting for at the very least Josh to [ __ ] up in some major way that warrants this Monumental backstabbing but as far as I can tell the only flaw he has is that his mom is kind of overbearing so I don't know talk about it also a lot of it is her fault she overslept one day and ended up in jail she's distracted because she's thinking about Billy oh yeah this woman is a villain why is she the main character another example while while her trusting fiance sits at home working on

their wedding playlist she goes out to her bachelorette party and decides hey we're all drunk let's go to Billy's Bar oh are they going to do a romantic karaoke duet now yesing out of course they are i' built my dreams around you they're falling in love just [ __ ] tell Josh already so you can quit wasting his time a you're jealous that Billy's back with his ex now you don't get to be as the saying goes you can't have your cake and cheat on your fiance so who's responsible for this new Billy then do

meet someone or he's sleeping with someone but he's not seeing her okay well it sounds really bad when you put it like that feel much better about sleeping with you now that you're seeing somebody else but not like that as you can imagine when Josh finally finds out he is pissed Billy makes me sleep what but he's so willing to understand what's going on that he offers to bring them to a sleep clamp to prove that they can fall asleep next to each other and they're not actually just making sweet sweet Hotel love every night

lazy slob I know I know I'm sorry for all of this yeah definitely apologize to him not the guy you're marrying in 4 days turn the lights turn the lights down low I Can Feel You Breathe slow I think that should prove that you're not [ __ ] just sing flirtily to each other while he watches from the other room well they're asleep Merry Christmas well I guess it is a Christmas movie he even got her a Christmas gift a pillow with a photo of them Josh is going to love having that right on the

bed oh boy everyone's in town for the wedding that's a whole lot of people whose time would have been severely wasted were things to take an unexpected turn honor and protect him as long as you both shall live with he okay now now she can fall asleep in front of her fiance as long as it's at her wedding while standing up what do you mean you haven't been sleeping well I thought you've been sleeping fine Josh please not now not now Josh we wouldn't want you to make a scene Josh I guess the honest answer

is no I hate you so much I really wish I'd left you in jail that's more like it so she goes out and steals the Just Married car and uses it to try to find Billy who's now aimlessly jogging through Chicago [Applause] [Music] oh a happy ending no I'm so horrible you know maybe if he cheated on her or lied to her over and over again or you know did the things that she did to him then maybe we wouldn't be so resentful towards the two main characters I don't know just a thought doesn't matter

I'm clearly taking this too seriously as a wise woman once said it only a movie he said it he said the thing I remember that from the last video up next is another marvista classic Holly's Holiday believe it or not the most uncomfortable part of this movie is not even that it's about mannequins coming to life and getting humans to fall in love with them uh but rather this weird incel Behavior that's both encouraged and rewarded by one of the male leads but I'm getting ahead of myself this is the first line of the movie

and I think it sets the tone for everything we're about to see there's only a few more weeks till Christmas and there's still no snow sad sad always have your characters say the emotion they're feeling that's effective dialogue much like in the last movie a large portion of the plot is based around the main characters having to do something that should have been taken care of months ago Holly's a graphic designer and she and her team have to work up until Christmas Eve to finish an ad campaign that's supposed to go live on Christmas I

will not stand for this plot device first of all that design would have been done in like September second of all why is the ad campaign starting on Christmas is that when everyone does their holiday shopping the day they're supposed to already have the gift shut up Hollywood you don't know [ __ ] about the real world I guess I shouldn't complain I mean I kind of have the perfect life the only thing I don't have is Tim everyone in this movie is so horny for mannequins have you ever looked at a mannequin and thought

if only I could date you [Music] [Applause] [Music] the things I would do to that hunk of plastic come to oo with me tonight and you'll see a whole room full of walking talking mannequins great if you're looking to meet him tonight's your chance don't worry you'll meet guys like this tonight at Club oo o what's o New York's hottest club is so Holly and her cooworker Milo are working on this ad campaign and he's really pushing for something different from the norm showing love and all the Trad uned places all right the love that

I know it it's it's flawed instead of two people kissing in front of a Christmas tree what if they were screaming at each other at a Macaroni Grill that's real love Holly that's what sells diamonds and like I'm all four out of the box thinking but no just take a picture of a ring and go home we're selling them these unattainable unrealistic lies yeah that's what a marketing department do really this dialogue is just here to plant the seeds that while you're out there chasing Perfection there's a perfectly good guy standing right here and I

think that if you look hard enough that that you can find the sweetness and and and the beauty sure maybe my body has a few too many orifices for your liking but that's not always a bad thing uh hey you look really great thanks later when he surprises her at the club this is how he announced is his presence what and the rest of the time when they interact it's so awkward say o weirdly pivotal scene in the movie by the way you'll see why later then this happens when they walk home um oh um

yeah I go okay uh excuse me like do I go around uh I no I should uh I wish I could do that to you the next day she trips over some carolers falls on her face and wakes up to a real life Prince Charming and just like the season 4 Runner up of American Idol his name is Bo I'm Bo and he's the perfect guy handsome charitable causes scenes in restaurants tall he even has an awesome apartment if you're gay you can just tell me it's fine we can be friends I'm not gay and

I'd rather not just be friends could not have said that in a creepier way would you look at that our lips fit perfectly together seems like you're missing a lot of red flags here Holly maybe the guy who only wears v-neck isn't as bad as I thought like come on is he trying to look like Shaggy so Milo is clearly being set up as the guy who's really the one for her he may not have perfect face but there's still me for each other she just you know hasn't figured it out yet you know what

don't worry about it you probably wouldn't have lik the art show that much anyway actually I'm not sure if you know what I like I think I know what you like uh yeah I think I know you better than you know you Holly we've been working together for a couple months now and you've only been you your entire life she just seems pretty wrapped up in a guy that she just met she's not texting me back in a timely fashion well maybe I'm just a little too complicated for you is he right about Bo having

some underlying baggage yeah but that's just because he's a mannequin come to life lucky guess Milo you're blind to the fact that something better dare I say perfect you it's it it could be standing right in front of you seems like any woman who doesn't want to date this guy is really missing out what can I have a bagel uh yeah anyway Bose cracks start to show and not the one crack I'd actually like to see he's a little too neat and he keeps giving toasts for some reason and he brought his parents to her

house without telling her and he dresses like Jake from State Farm he even actively sabotages her career by canceling a photo shoot last minute really he doesn't have any redeeming qualities other than being conventionally attractive it's kind of weird that she even puts up with his strange [ __ ] for so long but I guess that's the point that we overrate hotness as a society where we live hands they're freezing let me warm them up now you may remember earlier when I said that mannequins come to life I did mean to use the plural version

of that word because there's another one yep Bose's exgirlfriend gets into the mix and she's crazy she knocked over a Christmas tree on top of that poor woman this is a disaster at least Holly still has my load of psycho analyzer the real you is so much more interesting than you think you're just so wrapped up in what everybody else thinks you don't notice he gets to come out of this situation as the hero in kind of a hilar I arious way think you can make something work I always do don't I he's like don't

worry I know the two mannequins screwed up the shoot but I'll pull something together I'll fix it and then Holly and Dena are blown away by what he's able to accomplish send over mock-ups from the shoot check that out oh that Milo is a miracle worker wow he photosho the name of the diamond company on top of the picture that must have taken him not that long probably which we know it didn't because only like 20 minutes has passed I'm amazing actually so Holly goes ahead and breaks things off with the human sex doll do

you know how many times I have stubbed my toe on my couch since you moved it now Milo has a chance go kiss her Milo come [Music] on I like to kiss mil [Music] again I kissed you in your sleep where am I in the hospital you fell on your way to work a couple days ago and you whacked your head on the sidewalk a couple days ago wait what so none of that actually happened I would just like to point out that she goes into a coma here 20 minutes into the movie then a

bunch of dream [ __ ] happens and she wakes up 56 minutes later that's basically the whole movie side note is it like a rule that if you get knocked unconscious you have to get knocked unconscious again in whatever dream you're having in order to be sent back it's a good thing she's so clumsy otherwise she might have been stuck in there forever you are more than welcome to stay again tonight Mr Maddox Mr Maddox Yes dear you stayed with me yes of course I did sweetheart I told them that we were married so they

would let me stay oh while she was sleeping he got to roleplay as her husband is that not weird right but you ready for this guys you ready for the big reveal they have worked the entire movie towards coming up with the photo for this ad campaign and finally after deleting what they did while she was asleep Holly finds the perfect [Music] one what what picture is this uh that's our hands it's us The Accidental photo from earlier that he made his desktop background so let me get this straight they're just co-workers they've known each

other for a couple months they're not boyfriend and girlfriend they don't date he accidentally took a photo of them touching hands she found out that he made that his desktop background and she's not like that's kind of creepy instead she just makes out with his forehead whatever that's not even the best part look what she does to [Applause] [Music] it look at the [ __ ] ring it looks so bad and then the movie just kind of ends there are zero more words spoken I don't know what they' even be saying here that's Brandy and

that's Bo they're my friends are my dream Bo came to life and fell in love with me but I broke up with them to be with you I guess they're back together now hey where are you going the end I'd like to point out that the only reason we watched this movie was because we had watched the trailer but if you've seen the trailer then you've seen the movie cuz they basically spoil everything that happens even the stupid ring so that's what I've been up to just watching Christmas movies oh my God tomorrow is February

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non-topical topic the only thing I can guarantee on this channel is that whatever you think I'm going to make a video about I probably won't I guess that makes me different I guess that makes me not like the other guys you know sometimes girls don't realize that the perfect gu is right in front of them the whole time be sure to tune in next week for a video where I do the reverse of Holly's Holiday which is to say that I will get broken up with and then turn into a mannequin so bye