Emotion Regulation Hacks: Two Powerful Calming Techniques

[Tracey Marks] Are you often overwhelmed by powerful emotions? Do you wish that there were some simple, yet effective ways to reduce emotional overload? Today I'm going to tell you about two remarkably effective techniques that you can use to help you achieve just that.

I'm Dr Tracey Marks, a psychiatrist, and I make mental health education videos. These two techniques are dialectical behavior therapy skills. DBT is a type of cognitive behavior therapy designed to help manage intense emotional distress in people with borderline personality disorder.

That's how it started. But DBT has a lot of useful skills that anyone can benefit from. The first technique is called the Half-Smile.

It's an exercise that involves relaxing your facial muscles, and then gently turning the corners of your mouth upwards. Not a full beaming smile, but just a soft, subtle half smile. Some people refer to it as the Mona Lisa smile.

It's not about pretending to be happy, or suppressing negative emotions. Instead, it's about creating a gentle non-threatening expression that can induce a sense of calm and peace. Research has shown a bidirectional relationship between facial expressions and emotions.

The feelings we have can influence our facial expression, but the reverse is also true, that our facial expression can impact our feelings. This is known as the facial feedback hypothesis. You can use the half smile in various situations.

It doesn't always have to be when you feel stressed or overwhelmed. Because, at its core, it's a mindful exercise. Here are some ways that you can use it.

Begin each day with a half smile. As you wake up, take three mindful deep breaths, while maintaining a half smile. Use the half smile during quiet times.

Whenever you find yourself stationary, practice half smiling, whether you're observing a leaf, a piece of art, or any relatively static object, smile softly, and silently inhale and exhale. Half smile while engaging with music. Spend two to three minutes listening to a song.

Be mindful of the lyrics, melody, rhythm, and emotions of the piece. If your mind wanders to other thoughts bring your attention back to the music. Half smile as you breathe deeply in and out.

Half smile when you're aggravated. As soon as you become aware of your irritation, do the Mona Lisa. Take three quiet breaths in and out while you half smile.

Practice half smiling while you're relaxing. When you're in a relaxed position, like lying down or sitting, keep your arms and your body relaxed. Then.

focus on your breath, maintain a half smile, as you let every muscle in your body relax. Imagine your body sinking into whatever is supporting you, as your muscles become loose and dangly. Continue for 15 breaths, while you continue with the slightest smile.

And the next level is half smile while thinking of someone you dislike. Maintain a half smile as you breathe and visualize someone who has caused you a lot of distress. Think about some of their worst attributes.

Try to understand what brings them joy, and what inflicts pain in their daily life. Don't fantasize about inflicting pain on them. Just think about what challenges they may already face.

Try to imagine how they think, and whether their perspective is influenced by bias, intolerance, hatred, or anger. You're not trying to give them excuses. You're trying to be an objective observer of their life.

While you're thinking about all this, breathe in and out with your half smile until you feel compassion well up in your soul, like fresh water flushing out toxins. Repeat this exercise from time to time using the same person. The second technique is Willing Hands.

It's another mindfulness technique that involves keeping your hands relaxed, palms up and open. Have you ever noticed that when you feel tense your hands naturally contract and make a fist? You see this in its most primitive form in babies.

When they're in distress and cry, they have their arms flexed at the elbows, and their fists balled up, and then if you feed them or soothe them, their arms relax and their palms open up. Another thing that we do when we're uncomfortable or tense is cross our arms at the waist. The willing hands position opens you up physically and emotionally.

It creates a level of vulnerability and acceptance. If you don't believe me, or think that I'm psychologizing a simple body posture, try standing with your hands open and your palms facing outward in a group of people that you don't know, or in a situation where you have to do something difficult, like maybe speak in front of a group. Chances are it will make you feel very open and vulnerable, and you'll prefer to fold your arms, or put 'em behind your back.

It's like assuming a position that protects your core. We do this as a reflex, without even being aware of it. The willing hands technique can be helpful in moments of emotional distress.

Let's say you're feeling anxious about a presentation at work. You might find that your hands are clenched or tense. By consciously relaxing your hands and turning your palms upward, you can encourage a more accepting calm mindset.

Both of these techniques, Half-Smile and Willing Hands can promote emotional regulation by helping to decrease the intensity of the negative emotions. These are skills, and like any other skill, they become more effective with practice. The more you use them, the more automatic they become, and the more benefit you'll derive.

It's also important to remember that while these techniques can help regulate strong emotions, they are not meant to eliminate or invalidate those emotions. Emotions are a normal part of life, and serve as signals about our experiences. Watch this video for how to name and claim your emotions, and this one on the science of emotion regulation.

Thanks for watching. See you next time.