Let People Miss Out on You.

don't disrespect yourself trying to earn the respect of others I say that for a reason because there's a story behind me saying that in the intent of this video but I want to talk about in this video in general about letting people miss out on you and now specifically for myself I've had a situation where I've caught myself disrespecting myself and lowering my own selfworth lowering my own boundaries in order to earn the acceptance of somebody else now the interesting thing about this is that I usually don't do that like I'm I'm a person who

I enforce boundaries I set limitations I call people out on their actions and I'm constantly like showing my self respect but I what I've noticed and what I've started to become aware of is that with certain people I allow them to do various different certain things and this going to look different for everybody some people do it with people who they think have more money than them who they see as better than them who they see as older than them and they almost begin to diminish their own self-respect because they see them as better than

them or they see them as like a better person in some way shape or form where they idolize them over they over themselves and so what I've started realizing recently within my life is how I was allowing certain people to get away with certain things and I wasn't calling them out on it like I usually would and so this ties back into letting people miss out on you because sometimes that's exactly what you have to do like it's never worth trying to force people into your life for trying to earn the acceptance of certain people

if it's going to cost you the respect you have for yourself if it means means that you have to allow them to cross certain boundaries if it means you have to put on a facade or put on this character every time you're around them in order for them to like you if it me it's like they aren't going to accept the true authentic version of yourself like sometimes it's just not worth having certain people in your circle if it means that you have to break down your normal barriers now sometimes hey you you going to

let certain people get away with little small certain things depending on who they are I think we all have people like that like I'm going to allow my best friend to get away with certain things that I would know out my acquaintance with or I'm going to be more forgiving to someone who's been in my life for a long time but I think you have to put a limitation on that as well because what I've come to understand is that people become comfortable with whatever you allow yourself to normalize or whatever you normalize for them

so if people are in your life and they're doing these various different actions like believe it or not we test the respect people have for themselves we test people's boundaries we has to see is he about what he says he's about is that boundary really a boundy or can I cross it and get away with it um how far can I go how much can I get out of this person sometimes we just do that subconsciously a lot of people do it with like bullying if they see hey you respond to this responding me talking

to you like this I know I can get away with it and you pursue it more and more and more but then you know certain people's like nah I'm not going to mess with him I ain't going to talk to him like that because I know he going to get upset about it or he going to retaliate in this way all that depends depends on the respect you have for someone based off the boundaries they have set for themselves but yeah what I had to realize is that people will get comfortable with whatever you normalize

so whatever you allow people to consistently get away with whatever you never check people on they will get comfortable doing those certain actions and they'll try and break that barrier more and more and more to see the limit in which you finally retaliate to see the limit in which you finally say stop or no that's not allow or like you know you you check them on their actions people are just going to continue pushing and pushing and pushing until they see that limitation and so you have to become aware of that and know your boundaries

for certain people like not normalize people getting away with certain things like sometimes it might be as simple as people borrowing money from you like people might consistently ask you for money because they know you don't have the strength to say no people might consist call you out your name because they know you're not going to do nothing about it people might consistently show some way shape or form disrespect to you and it may not even be to a point where it's intentional it's all subconscious like when it gets to a point where people subconsciously

disrespect you and they're just like oh I'm not even disrespecting him that's what he's just always allowed me to do I don't even see it as disrespect I just see it as this is allowed when it gets to that point then that's when you know you're in bad territory that's when you know like you really got to start enforcing things and what I realized is that it's way harder to earn that respect or like get somebody to lower the limitation or see you as someone that they can't do certain things with like say you've normalized

someone always doing a certain action it's going to be hard to unnormalized that for them without them seeing you in a certain way so that's why you got to kind of enforce those boundaries early on so that it doesn't become their normalization in your relationship and I think when it came to myself and probably for a lot of you guys as well is that when it came to enforcing certain boundaries you feared their reaction like you fear whether they would accept you you fear whether they would want to be in your life if you had

that respect for yourself or if you retaliated or talk to them in that way and that's why letting people miss out on you comes in and just understanding that some people just aren't worth it and some people just aren't for you because what you also have to understand is that if you allow certain people in your life and they just don't have respect for you like then you can't trust them then you can't expect them to put effort into you then you can't expect them to show up for you in times of need like sometimes

you have to truly question is lowering my standards lowering my boundaries trying to force this person into my life is that even a good thing for me like what value does it bring to my life like yeah they might have this status they may have this one thing they can provide but don't allow that to make you overlook every other thing that they also bring into your life the negativity the disrespect um thinking they could get away with certain things like for a lot of guys when it comes to women you might see oh she's

pretty oh she looks this way oh she is good to me in this area of my life she understands me but what about when she gets to that toxic side what about her habits what about uh the way she treats your friends or the way she interacts with other people in the world like sometimes you can't allow yourself to get so caught up on the good that people provide to your life that it makes you overlook all the bad and a lot of times the bad usually outshines the good like they're bringing more bad into

your life than they are good you're just so caught up on the feeling of when that good is being given to you so you're just so caught up on the fact that you can say you have a pretty girlfriend or you can uh get sex out of this person or you have someone to talk to that you're overlooking all the other red flags in your life and you know I'm speaking from this from a place of experience because I've done it with like multiple people I'm just now kind of becoming more aware of it to

where it's like now I can start changing certain habits certain certain limitations certain boundaries with certain people uh bringing things to light and being okay with how ever they retaliate to it you know some people may not even want to be in my life because they aren't willing to accept that new version of me and some people aren't going to be willing to adapt to those new boundaries and realizing that they can't get away with certain things that they were able to get away within the past and you know even when you make certain mistakes

with people or you do people wrong like at some point in time you're going to like do something negative to another person whether it's accidentally hurting them accidentally disrespecting them accidentally Mak us some way shape or form of like a mistake to where they kind of hold a grudge against you but one thing you have to realize is that in apology is enough you taking the step to actually start making change within yourself is enough but what you shouldn't do is get in this head space of thinking you owe that person something and that's the

head space I got into where I felt I owed another person all these various different things and so as a result I lost respect for myself like never get in a situation where hey I messed up so now trying to get your respect back or trying to get your trust back I'm now going to diminish my own worth I'm now going to allow you to cross all these other boundaries I'm now not going to hold you accountable for your actions and I'm going to start normalizing all these various different things that I don't usually normalize

and so sometimes you have to realize like when you do certain things with certain people and certain relationships hey if it's negative and you have to change yourself and you can own up to your own actions you can start making changes you ask for forgiveness you can say that apology and just own up own up to your BS but don't allow that to diminish the respect you should still have for yourself and don't let that make you put this person on a pedestal in order to make it seem like you're trying to get back up

to them or earn them again or get them to accept you all over again or something like that and again when you start doing this a lot of people are going to start missing out on you a lot of people aren't going to be willing to accept the new version of you a lot of people aren't going to uh forgive your mistakes a lot of people aren't going to be willing to abide by your boundaries a lot of people are going to feel this sense of entitlement that you do owe them something and that they

essentially want you to suck up to them because of actions you did in the past and they won't accept your apology and they won't accept you making changes within yourself and you growing as a person as enough they'll expect something more out of you and that's where you got to draw the line that's where you got to draw that limit because if you get so caught up in trying to be the person who others want you to be in order for them to approve you or trying to do enough for them to finally accept you

back in or see you from this certain perspective I promise you you it it's going to be a suffering experience and you're just really going to end up losing a whole lot of respect for yourself and not even feeling good about yourself because like I said in past videos man like sometimes people just aren't for you like sometimes people grow out of your life sometimes the current chapter or the current season you're in in your life you're going to lose certain people you might lose them now and they come back later in your life you

might uh had them for a long period of your life and then they're just no longer for you like people are temporary and nobody is really ever permanent in your life like sometimes the people you have now in your life is going to look completely different in a year in 3 years and 5 years 10 years like it changes so often because people just come and go for various different reasons sometimes you fall out sometimes you just outgrow each other sometimes people move away like there's all these different reasons as to why people come and

go in your life and I don't want you to get caught up on trying to keep everything the same trying to keep the people that have seemingly always been there to the point that you again start diminishing the respect you have for yourself in order to try and force them or keep them around because you got to have the mindset that people are wants people aren't needs anybody that's in your life currently can also be replaced or there's better people out there for you if God decides hey this person isn't for you hey uh you

need to remove this person from your life so don't ever get caught up or attached to certain people to where you do any and everything in order to keep them around because you have to understand that sometimes there's better out there for you sometimes there's people that are better for you in this current season of your life or in this current version of yourself but I appreciate you guys for tuning in hope you learned a thing or two hope it brought you some value be sure to join up on the Discord like comment subscribe turn

on post noties catch you guys in the next video peace