how to build REAL confidence: self-worth tips, magnetic confidence, beat insecurities and glow up!💖

listen I went from being the quietest shyest girl in the room who could never make new friends because she was so terrified of speaking to new people so being the extroverted Life of the Party who could walk up to a running stranger and strike up a conversation with them I went from being so insecure about myself that I had to hide my face in every single photo taken of me to literally doing modeling shoots and being a social media influencer I went from chasing people because I was so desperate for other people's approval to going

out sitting in restaurants alone and just being okay with being myself because I'm so detached and confident in who I am if I can make that much of a transformation and up level my life through my confidence you sure as hell can if you live that life you will never attain confidence that not right that is embarrassing that means that you're judging yourself anyways I need to just calm down and take a deep breath I'm just very passionate about this hello everyone and welcome back to my channel today's video is super important because I'm going

to be sharing with you seven in-depth real confident tips and strategies that you can start implementing today to become your new and improved confident self for the new year but before you watch this video or maybe even after I actually have a previous video that I filmed on my channel it's the part one to this video which is called how to be confident is one of my most popular videos I'm super proud of it and it's got real strategies that will help you become confident I'm not going to be repeating any of those tips in

this video we're going to be talking about new strategies but I'll leave it linked in the description and it's linked up here and remember that I consistently share confidence tips on my Tick Tock under my playlist called body tips and you'll find regular content on there every single day so let's get into the confidence tips number one is external versus internal confidence external confidence is easier to achieve because it involves a lot of Faking it till you make it which I'm a massive believer in and that really helped me develop my own confidence I love

fake it to your makeup I definitely recommend embodying the characteristics of your dream self until they naturally become a part of who you are but I covered all of that advice in my confidence part one video like I mentioned before so today we're going to be talking about internal confidence which is much more important yes external confidence can be useful you know people give you tips like always make eye contact have the right posture talk to everybody never be on your phone have positive body language using those tips will make sure that you're definitely successful

in fooling other people into thinking you're super confident even if you're super shy and introverted on the inside but when you go home after faking it till you make it and you then have to face your inner dialogue again you won't feel confident on the inside and this is where internal confidence comes from it's much more sustainable and it means you'll be confident all of the time so what does internal confidence mean it means not seeking approval from others you know when you're posting something on Instagram don't send a picture in your group chat for

them to approve it first if you like it then that's enough you should start trusting your own opinion your opinion is valid it doesn't matter what anybody else thinks post it you don't need a second opinion and reassurance from other people with every decision you make when you decide to do that what you're basically saying to yourself is I don't trust my own opinion and my own opinion probably isn't correct so I need other people to tell me what I should do and that right there is gradually decreasing your confidence over time confidence tip number

two affirmations only work in reframing your negative self-perception and inner critic everybody asks yeah but do affirmations actually work you know saying you're abused feeling confident in a mirror every day isn't gonna magically make you so I completely agree the other tips I'm about to go through in this video they will help you become conflict very quickly but affirmations the purpose of them is to help you work backwards from your self-hate from everything bad you say about yourself from your inner critic and yes it might not necessarily make you confident overnight but what it will

do is it will decrease your self-doubt and it will make sure that the confidence you have isn't decreasing affirmations is about self-empowerment it's about believing in yourself and knowing what you want is achievable and that you're capable of it and remember your thoughts reflect your reality if you constantly think I'm not worthy of this I'm not attractive I'm never gonna be able to date that kind of person you are vote because that's what you're constantly feeding to yourself every single day plus affirmations is a very well known form of manifestation so if you want to

become a confident person you need to speak that dream confident self into reality into existence affirmations are so crucial because it will force you to make a habit out of speaking to yourself positively and a lot of us suffer from self-hate and it's not even our fault we live in a digital age with so many unrealistic beauty standards and being able to see other people's Lifestyles at the click of a button and that causes so much comparison and that then breeds so much insecurity so not only do I use affirmations on a daily basis to

remind myself of the dream person I'm working towards but also I've done a lot of techniques to reverse that self-hate that's so embedded in all of us for example I changed my online consumption habits I started following real people people who look like me without surgery Brown women who showed off and were proud of their ethnic features it also made me fall back in love with my culture and my skin color and my ethnic features again and that really helped increase my confidence instead of following celebrities that started following educational creators so every day when

I went on social media I wasn't thinking about oh my God these people live in a mansion and they're so rich and I have nothing but I was just learning new things and I wasn't constantly comparing myself to strangers on the internet every day and lastly with affirmations I think talking to our younger selves is a great way to practice affirmation when you're engaging in this self-hate behavior and you're criticizing yourself or yourself that is growing the one thing that immediately snaps me out of that is envisioning my younger self any bad things I'm saying

to myself and being hard on myself I imagine not saying that to the six or seven year old version and instantly it forces me to empathize with myself this is really important to have self-compassion so yes affirmation doesn't magically lead to a huge growth in confidence overnight but it does prevent you from damaging the confidence you already have and this leads me to confidence tip number three instead of relying on affirmations build a whole portfolio of proof against yourself doubt the best truest way to build real confidence is to overcome your self-doubt you basically need

to prove to yourself that you are capable and every single limiting belief you have about yourself is false because that's the thing that's holding you back from developing real confidence in my opinion the only way to do this and I practice this all the time is consistently stepping out of your comfort zone this is where we start building a portfolio of proof that we are confident and we are deserving and we can do anything we put our minds to which is Ultimate confidence for example I would say I'm a pretty confident person but I still

get very nervous meeting new people going on photo shoots every single time a day comes where I'm like oh my God I have to go out and meet a bunch of new people today I'm so scared and I want to cancel so bad because it's so uncomfortable I don't want to do it I want to stay in my bedroom and be in my little cocoon and be an introvert in peace do I do that no I force myself every single time I have to meet the photographer I have to meet these new people I have

to put myself in that situation where I'm forced into being an extrovert even though that's not natural for me is it uncomfortable for the first five minutes absolutely because I don't want to do it once I'm that and I'm doing it and then I've completed it I've come home what do I feel like I feel amazing I feel on top of the world I'm like wow actually that wasn't as scary as I thought it would be and I survived it and everything was okay so then I do it again and then the second time I

do it it's also not that scary it's actually way less scary than it was the first time and then wow now I can do it the third time without even wanting to cancel and once you consistently prove to yourself that I could put myself in an unfamiliar situation and get through it your self-doubt will fade away because it has nothing to go off of whereas the fastest way to grow your self-doubt which is the ultimate confidence killer is by consistently saying you're gonna do something and then never doing it if you live that life you

will never attain confidence confidence tip number four embarrassment is a choice it's literally just a concept in fact it's a social construct you can literally choose not to be embarrassed every single time you choose to feel embarrassed you feel unconfident you're like oh my God I feel so insecure I can't believe I did that but why is it that deep why are you beating yourself up for like making a mistake or like if you fell over in public okay so okay and are you gonna see any of those people again no it's normal it happens

the fastest way to desensitize yourself to being cringed or being embarrassing is through exposure therapy and what this means is constantly putting yourself out there once again linking back to the stepping outside of your comfort zone and doing things that normally would kind of make you feel embarrassed or cringe and you are now intentionally doing those things so you're signaling to your brain oh look I'm doing this and it's fine and it's not embarrassing it's not cringy for example filming yourself in public being a YouTuber very hard to do I had to force myself to

do it the first few times I did it I went to hide my camera away I don't want to make eye contact with anyone if a bunch of people working towards me I'd literally put my vlogging camera away and I'd stop because I'd feel so cringy and embarrassing now I do it in the back of my mind I'm like oh my God this is so scary what are people thinking I grabbed my vlogging camera I hold it high and I'm walking through a bunch of people in the middle of the city center vlogging speaking to

myself in front of a camera and I'm from a small town so people can be very judgy about this and everyone's staring at me and in my head I'm like I'm doing it I'm fine nothing's happening to me this is safe and I'm gonna get the content I need and I don't care what any of these people say because I'm never going to see them again oh you don't like what I did or you think that's cringy or you think like me falling over whatever is embarrassing okay but your approval isn't that deep to me

so I'm just gonna carry on with my life over here and probably never see you again but literally like next time you catch yourself feeling embarrassed just remember what you're saying to yourself is that that random person like whoever they are their approval matters more to you that you are now going to put yourself through feelings of guilt and shame because you're so concerned about what somebody else thinks about you for like five seconds of their day because after the first five seconds they're gonna forget about you let that sink in like literally my validation

and my approval is the only thing that matters to me so see ya embarrassment is literally just fear and anticipation of the negative opinions other people might have of you just let that sink in for a second and realize how crazy it is at the end of the day nobody has any grounds to stand on when it comes to judging me you know why because everybody's cringe everybody's cringe some people are just better at hiding it than others and to those people I say shame on you shame on you own your cringe okay why are

you out here hiding it you are not being authentic because you are so concerned with what other people think about you and I'm sorry but that that right there is embarrassing and you're probably gonna feel embarrassed when I say that because you haven't desensitized yourself to be in cringed and because now I have a negative opinion of you you're gonna take that on do you see how ridiculous that is why do you care what I think I'm a stranger I'm literally talking to you through a screen right now anyways I need to just calm down

and take a deep breath I'm just very passionate about this like just openly be cringe and just be authentic because let me tell you the benefits to being being authentic are endless and lastly if you think people are judging you what other people think you're embarrassing what that really means and this is a fact that means that you're judging yourself if you think other people are gonna think what you're doing is embarrassing that means you think what you're doing is embarrassing and you need to reverse that mindset and work back from it because I judge

myself all the time I was like vlogging in public and taking pictures of myself by myself with a tripod at public with people staring at me and walking past and I felt shame that I shouldn't be doing that you know people are going to walk past and they're going to think who is this girl and like she thinks she's some sort of celebrity why why did I feel bad about that I'm not hurting anybody I'm not doing anything bad so I had to stop judging myself and I had to condition myself into thinking this is

okay it's okay to film yourself in public and take pictures yes maybe it's not normal but it's okay and I don't need to be so harsh on myself about that and once I was kinder to myself which is once again like I mentioned before where affirmations come into play automatically I'm gonna stop thinking that everybody around me is judging me because what is there to judge confidence tip number five authenticity real confidence is destroying the fear of being authentic don't get it twisted okay 90 of people on this planet are so terrified of being authentic

that they follow the crowd and they want to be like everybody else and just fit in that's an actual like psychological fact that people just think the way that they'd rather just fit in with everyone even if they're not fully being themselves and that's so messed up don't let it be you and I'm not judging okay I'm not judging because I used to be the same I wanted people to like me and I want to make friends and just like be approved of because I had no internal confidence so I just used to do whatever

I had to do to fit in with everybody else but you know what yes half the time that will work people will like you because you're being just like them but you know what that will also cause so much resentment because you're not being yourself and you you don't you lose yourself you don't even know who you are so let's cut that out right now and let's talk about authenticity instead because ever since I decided to start living authentically so many more blessings have come to me in my life the benefits include attracting people that

actually meant for you when I'm if I'm being cringy or passionate like online and fully being myself instead of like trying to be what I think people want from me like yes it might mean a lot of people don't like me because they think I'm too loud or cringe or whatever but the few people that do like me are the people that are actually meant for me because I'm attracting people who match my energy and my vibe if I'm constantly being fake and trying to fit in how do I know that the people in my

life are actually meant for me and love and appreciate me for who I am being authentic means you're going to attract the opportunities that are meant for you if you're putting yourself out there with like filming in public for example who knows who might Scout you who knows who wants to hire you as a credit career or a model do the things that are real to you so you can get where you're meant to be in life you know don't chase jobs or passions that you think you're meant to do because you're never going to

be happy that way and lastly of course being authentic means that you are going to get a new found sense of confidence and reach your higher self you are going to be putting out the best energy and operating at such a high frequency and vibration because you're finally being yourself there's no resentment there's no constantly worrying about okay but how am I presenting myself and dressing and acting you don't have to constantly check yourself on everything because you're just living freely and being yourself and when you get used to living like your real self then

you also fall in love with yourself and you learn more about who you are as a person and develop the confidence that goes with that so how do I actually become authentic this is how first and foremost get to know yourself fully the more you know about who you are at your core the more that is to respect and admire and fall in love with okay maybe Journal about it really Journey inwards okay what are my principles what are my values what do I love what are my absolute pet peeves what do I stand for

what do I stand against what are my passions how do I treat people how do I want to be loved and eventually what that's going to transfer into is I really love and appreciate my passions or my desire to help other people or how much I care about my siblings or my parents I love my desire to create art and Inspire and it goes on and on and on but if you're constantly trying to fit into the crowd you could never say those things about yourself you're just eventually losing your individuality and your uniqueness to

fit in with the majority and what is there to live about yourself if you're not being yourself next explore your values your weaknesses your strengths your weaknesses your Styles your preferences and then act accordingly embody that every single day for example I love wearing super bright colors I love wearing massive jewelry is that the biggest Trend at the moment no everybody loves the tiny little gold hoops which are also cute but I love these does that mean I fit in or I'm following the latest fashion crazes and styles and trends like no but that's okay

because I'm being myself and I feel a little better about myself because I'm following that you might really like a particular aesthetic but you stray away from that because you want to look good to the other gender or to your friends or to society whatever and that's destroying your confidence because you're telling yourself it doesn't matter what I like and it doesn't matter who I want to be I have to be somebody else in order to be accepted which is false and that's just breeding extra insecurity you know if you have a super controversial opinion

that other people might not agree with own it say it as long as it's not hurting anybody and it's not like really inappropriate own it because yeah five or six people might hate you for having that opinion and they're like you're so wrong but one or two people that hear it might be like yo like I have the same opinion and I was so scared to say it and then you Bond and then that's like an actual real friend who likes you for you instead of all these five or six people that you don't even

align with and finally if you're authentic and someone tries to hate on you you own it because when you're being authentic you're telling yourself me being real Trump's being liked by everybody I know not everybody's gonna like my fully authentic self and that's okay when you're trying to fit in with everybody you're telling yourself that being liked by everybody is more important than being myself confidence tip number six confidence equals real love if you are not fully and completely in love with who you are you will never reach full confidence for example if you only

feel really good about yourself and confident when your makeup is done and when you've got the cutest outfit on when you've got straight A's in your exams when you got the job the achievement when you went to the gym every single day for a week and then you feel good about yourself yeah that's great but that's not real confidence the reason that confidence comes from self-love is self-love is all about loving yourself no matter what okay self-love isn't built on attaching your Worth to external achievements like hitting the gym or winning an award or getting

your dream job or making a certain amount of money real self-love is even if I have I'm going to the gym all month it's okay I'm still attractive and I'm so lovable and desirable and completely whole and worthy as a human being that's where confidence comes from because if you are attaching your confidence and self-love to external things like grades and opportunities and success once those things start to crumble away or you're having a bad day at work or you got fired or whatever all of your confidence and self-love is going to drift away with

that opportunity because you attached your confidence and self-love to that thing it needs to be attached internally to who you are self-love isn't just acknowledging all of your favorite qualities it's acknowledging all of your past mistakes your flaws your weaknesses all of the stuff you're super bad at and accepting them and being like that's okay that's who I am and I'm gonna own it you forgive yourself and you understand that all of those flaws and Imperfections are necessary factors to get you to where you need to be or like all of the past mistakes you've

made have been important factors in getting you to the growth of your current self so remember if you failed an exam that doesn't Define my intelligence or how capable I am in the future or that I won't be successful in life if I got rejected by that boy or girl that doesn't mean that I'm not desirable and I won't find Love Don't let failures and external things Define your character and your worth it should all come from the inside and from the love you have for yourself and once you you master that your confidence will

naturally grow alongside it and the last confidence tip number seven your younger self engage in conversation with your younger self close your eyes and literally Envision them standing in front of your current self if you have to now look at how far you've come no actually look at how far you've come because all of us are constantly programmed to think about how far we have to go and how much progress we have to make that we rarely just stop and pause to reflect on everything we've achieved thus far and how great we're actually doing you

can still have a long way to go before you get to your dream place in life and you can still be grateful for all of this stuff all of the obstacles that you've already overcome even if they're only a few and you still have majority of the journey to go that's okay but remember to reflect and be grateful on everything you've already done so I don't care if you failed your exam or you haven't got your dream job or you haven't found your soulmate because instead you should be looking at every single small win you've

achieved in the past things you've got now that you're taking for granted because realistically your younger self could have only dreamed of having what you currently have even even if you haven't achieved your wider stream you still have to things now that your younger self didn't have and that is something to celebrate and constantly be grateful for the new circle of friends you have the opportunities you have where you live your new wardrobe that you own your new skills the wisdom you have the lessons you've learned over the last few years see this step is

crucial in building your confidence because it's constantly reassuring you that you are succeeding and you are capable of doing even more when you see how far you've come it will provide motivation for you to keep going because if you've got all of this stuff already from that pasta then you can get even more in the future and this ultimately builds confidence in your intelligence your abilities and your determination take me for an example I am not nearly where I want to be in life I'm only 22 years old I've got so far so long to

go I still live with my family I just about finished uni I haven't traveled the world yet I haven't bought my first designer bag yet I got a lot of things to take off my to-do list trust me but I constantly remember that if my 15 year old self Could See Me Now she'd be like whoa she would be so impressed like actually if my 15 year old self is walking down the street and my current 22 year old self is walking past her she would look at me in awe like she would be so

jealous of me she'd want to be me so bad like so bad and that's how I know I'm doing like a live but yeah okay maybe I haven't moved up and maybe I haven't done all the big things in the world but I still made significant progress that my younger self is proud of me and that is all I want that is the most important win and by constantly reminding myself that by the age of 22 I've already become someone that my younger self would be so impressed with that gives me so much motivation to

keep going just to see how far I can take it because when you constantly remind yourself of everything you've done so far and all of the small wins that just builds confidence in yourself and your abilities and you're like I've done this much I can keep going and getting more and if you look at this from the big picture really it's about having an abundance mindset and reminding yourself of how much you can do how much you have done and yes maybe it's not everything you've ever wanted to do but start focusing on the good

not the lack and that brings us to the end of this video I hope you guys enjoyed this video I absolutely loved it I was definitely getting way too passionate in some part of this video just because confidence truly changed my life if any of you could see like actually talk to the version of me like from a few years ago you would not believe that I was that shy and that quiet and I've transformed into a completely different kind of person which is so possible for each and every one of you watching this as

well if you're not already following me on Tick Tock make sure you do because I always post confidence tips on there and also check out my Instagram if you're feeling it and for now if you really want some more confidence tips then make sure you check out the first confidence video ever posted it will be tagged somewhere on the screen if not in the description I hope you guys have a lovely day and I'll see you guys in my next video bye [Music]